Harry watched with anxiety as Hank pushed the door open, revealing the person lying on the bed. Harry felt his whole body go numb as he stared at Sirius's burnt and unconscious form, lying motionless on the white sheets. He felt his breathing become rapid and shallow as he stepped forward unsteadily, his eyes never leaving his Godfather. Harry felt fresh tears stinging his eyes, but he did nothing to wipe them away, too stunned by what he saw, while feeling a sense of disbelief flow through him. How could this have happened? Why Sirius?
Harry stopped at Sirius's side and numbly knelt beside him, noticing how weak and shallow his breathing was as he did so.
"Is … is he going to – " Harry couldn't continue the question. He refused to acknowledge there was even a possibility … but Hank perceived what he was asking, and so answered.
"Madame Pomfrey has done everything she can," said Hank sadly. "We'll know by the end of today … I'm sorry Harry…"
Harry didn't even respond to Hank's words. He simply knelt there, staring at Sirius … silently praying that he would live. If he died, where would that leave him? He'd be stuck at the Dursleys forever … No one else would take him in … why would they want to? No … he had to live. So long as he was alive, there was always the chance that they could set him free, and Harry could finally leave his nightmare.
Harry leant forward and rested his forehead against Sirius's shoulder, weeping openly as the real possibility of him never waking up started to sink in. He would lose the only father he'd ever known, leaving him all alone again…
Hank's heart wrenched as Harry sobbed into Sirius's unconscious shoulder, the reality of the situation falling on his burdened shoulders. Hesitantly, Hank stepped forward and placed a hand on Harry's shoulder, trying to comfort him in the slightest … but he didn't even react to the gesture. Uncertain about leaving him on his own at the moment, Hank stayed where he was … listening to Harry's anguish in the silent room, as he joined him in his prayers, hoping that his brother may live………
"Is Hank – ?" Hermione didn't finish her question as Remus nodded slowly, his own eyes following Hank and Harry down the Hall. "But I thought he didn't want Harry to know?"
"He didn't," Remus replied. "But we had words not long ago, and he reconsidered his choice…"
"Ah … so that's what he was mad over," said Hermione, now understanding. Seeing Remus's questioning look, Hermione elaborated. "It's just that, Ron and I saw Hank storm down a corridor on our way here, and we thought it might've had something to do with Sirius … but he was only ticked off at you…"
"How is Sirius, by the way?" Ron asked from the other side of the bed, where Madame Pomfrey was inspecting his throat. "Is he any better?"
Both Ron and Hermione could tell that he wasn't, just by the way Poppy and Remus reacted to the question. The two had glanced at each other, full of remorse and despair, and hung their heads … not answering. That in itself, was all the answer the two students needed.
"If he's worse than what he was last night," Hermione whispered into the silence, "then there's not much chance he'll make it through the day … is there?" She looked up at Remus, blinking back her tears, and saw her Professor shake his head solemnly.
"No there's not," he replied thickly. "But … people have made miraculous comebacks before. No reason to think it's not possible now…" he continued, trying his best to give her a reassuring smile, only to fail miserably at the attempt.
"I know that this isn't the best time," Dumbledore's strong voice spoke out, making them all turn to him. The headmaster eyed the sullen faces for a moment, before continuing, "and I apologize … but I was wondering if someone could tell me, what caused Mr Potter's outburst this morning? It seemed rather sudden, seeing how it's only early morning…"
Ron immediately lowered his eyes and shuffled his feet awkwardly, something that Dumbledore didn't fail to notice, but surprisingly, Madame Pomfrey had become somewhat shifty also.
"Poppy? Mr Weasley?" Dumbledore queried quietly.
"He found out what I said last night," said Ron meekly, refusing to look up at the headmaster.
"I see," Dumbledore replied, nodding his head gravely. "How?"
Now it was Madame Pomfrey's turn to appear extremely awkward. "I told him."
"You what!?" Snape gasped, speaking for the first time since everyone arrived. "What on earth would posses you to – "
"He threatened to remove my head if I didn't Severus!" Poppy half shouted, appearing quite distressed at the memory of the incident. "What did you expect me to do!?"
"It's quite all right, Poppy," said Dumbledore gently, throwing Snape a warning look as he patted the Matrons shoulder. "No ones blaming you for this … don't worry. But something else must have happened beforehand, for him to threaten you, Poppy … do you know what that might have been?"
"That was my fault, actually," Poppy answered quietly. "He must've heard us talking outside his door, because he asked me, when we got out here, why I would've been surprised that Mr Weasley would want to see him. Well … I refused to tell him, and I didn't give him a reason for it … I think that started him off, because he grabbed me by the arm and forced me to turn toward him …" Poppy shut her eyes briefly and shook her head. "I know that he can't help what he does … but I don't think I'll be able to look at him the same way ever again…"
"Now Poppy," Dumbledore began, gently but firmly. "We can't afford to think like that…"
"But you don't know how it felt," Poppy cut in, almost sounding pleading. "It was him, but it wasn't at the same time! He had the same voice, the same eyes, the same face … yet it still looked nothing like him!"
"Yes we do, Poppy," Dumbledore reasoned gently, trying to calm the matron down a fraction. "We've all seen him during an outburst, save Severus … We know how unsettling it can seem … but you must also think of what Harry is being put through at the same time. He is virtually a prisoner in his own mind, when he loses control. He's forced to see, hear, feel … know absolutely everything that happens, while being powerless to change it. He might have threatened you, Poppy … but he's tried to take Mr Weasley's life for the second time…"
"I'm rather curious about that fact?" said Remus, giving Ron a penetrating stare. "Why is it, that Harry's only tried to kill you? Although it is serious however you think of it, Harry's only struck Hermione, and knocked out Poppy. He did a nice number on me, yes … but he's tried to take your life intentionally, twice. Is there something going on between you two? A disagreement of sorts, or something similar?"
Seeing Ron shake his head after a moment of thought, Remus continued, "There has to be a reason why he's focusing on you, Ron…"
"Why must there be?" said Snape, crossing his arms. "It could purely be spontaneous, couldn't it? Or it could simply be snuffing out the focus of his rage? We don't know enough about this to go around throwing what-ifs everywhere." ……
Ginny stared up at the ceiling, running the recent events over again in her head. She was growing increasingly worried about Harry's state of health, and it wasn't his body's well being she was thinking of. She could plainly see the torture that Harry was going through, how he loathed himself for his lack of control, his utter despair at his grievous actions toward his closest friends, his terror that he would drive them away as he continually attacked them. It was slowly eating at him … and according to what Hank had said when he told them about Harry's Bond with Voldemort … this was just the tip of the iceberg.
Ginny slowly shook her head, as she wiped at a stray tear, wondering just how much more Harry could withstand. Thinking back, to all that had happened to him in his young life, Ginny could declare that this was by far the worst. Most of the other things had only injured his body, which was fixable to an extent … but this was attacking his mind, causing massive amounts of harm each time it was let loose.
Ginny winced as the sight of Harry's extreme self reproach, flashed across her eyes. It was almost akin to the shock and injury in Hermione's eyes, as Harry gazed at her fleetingly before leaving the room. Ginny had to admit, that that was something she didn't see coming. Ron had been the cause of this outburst, so it made sense that he'd attacked him … but Harry's lashing out at Hermione had caught them all by surprise, and Ginny could see just how much Harry hated himself for it…
At that moment, Ginny heard footsteps walking slowly past her door, and further down the hall, hushed voices talking as they went. Feeling curious, Ginny got out of bed again, and shakily walked to her door. Waiting for silence, she carefully opened her door and stepped out into the hallway. She inched down the corridor slowly, making sure she kept her balance, and halted just out of view near the doorjamb.
Leaning forward slightly, Ginny tilted her head, to see if she could hear anything that was happening in the room, only to hear someone weeping softly, sounding slightly muffled. Her concern spiking, Ginny gingerly leant around the corner, and felt her heart freeze in her chest. Harry was kneeling by the bed, his face buried in Sirius's shoulder, as Hank stood beside him, his hand upon his shoulder consolingly.
Ginny felt a wave of nausea sweep over her, as she caught sight of Sirius's actual condition, noticing that it greatly resembled her legs at present … only ten times worse. Silently, Ginny inched her way into the room, stopping in her tracks when Hank turned to look at her, though feeling surprised when he didn't seem surprised to see her there.
Ginny continued forward, when Hank gestured for her to come in, and came to a stop by his side, staring at both Sirius, and the despondent Harry.
"What happened to him?" she asked in a hushed tone, not wanting to disturb Harry. It didn't work. At the sound of her voice, Harry raised his head and furiously wiped at his eyes and glasses, almost as though he didn't want her to see him in such a state.
"Um … Ginny, I don't think that this is the best time – "
"No," said Harry quietly, cutting off Hank's rebuttal. "I want to know as well." Seeing Hank's hesitancy, Harry continued, "I can take it … don't worry. I need to know how it happened…"
Seeing Harry's determination, Hank sighed and nodded. "How about you both have a seat," he suggested, motioning towards the bed he'd sat upon earlier that morning. "As I'm sure you must have surmised by now," he started, "this happened last night. You both remember when Wolfgang – or Piedro, if you prefer – tried to kill you, Ginny?"
Both Harry, and Ginny nodded, grimacing at the memory.
"Well … that's how this happened. Sirius knocked you out of the way, and took that blast in your place," said Hank sadly to Ginny.
Ginny covered her mouth as she realized that Sirius may die, because of her. Harry would be left alone, and it would be all her fault. She turned to face Harry, and saw that he was also stunned by the news.
"Oh, Harry I'm so sorry!" she cried, grasping his hand firmly in hers, hoping that he'd forgive her. "Please don't be mad at me, I didn't mean for it to happen – "
"No no! I don't blame you," Harry interrupted gently, turning to face her. "This wasn't your fault Ginny … Sirius knew what he was doing – " Harry hesitated for a moment, before plunging onward. "I would've done the same thing if I could…"
"Please don't say that," Ginny replied, shaking her head sadly. She knew that he meant what he said, but she also knew that she wouldn't be able to live through Harry's death a second time………
"How'd he take it?" Remus asked as Hank stepped out into the Main Ward alone. Hank shoved his hands in his pockets and sighed, as he ventured further into the ward.
"He took it pretty much how I expected him to," he answered gravely. He sat on a bed and ran a hand through his raven hair. "He practically crumbled before my eyes, crying on Sirius's shoulder." Hank shook his head, blinking back his own tears. "I've never felt so powerless to do anything in my life, Remus…"
"Where is he?" Hermione asked, looking around. "You didn't leave him on his own did you?"
Hank shook his head. "No. Ginny is keeping him company – "
"What!!??" Ron snapped, startling everyone. "What were they – "
"Ron, don't you dare start that up again!" Hermione shot over her shoulder, glaring daggers at the redhead. Ron ignored her.
"Does Harry know how Sirius got like that?" he pestered.
"Yes he does, Mr Weasley, however I don't really see the significance of the question?" Hank answered, his voice showing the mild irritation he was beginning to feel toward Ron's attitude.
Ron rolled his eyes, as though the reason was an obvious one. "Well … was Harry angry with her, or wasn't he?"
"Far from it," Hank answered firmly. "He was actually telling your sister that it wasn't her fault. Oh, and you were quite correct Hermione," Hank added, glancing at a confused Hermione.
"About what?" she asked.
"About your assumption that Harry would have done the same thing Sirius did," Hank explained. "He told Ginny that he would have taken her place, just as you said he would."
At this, almost everyone raised their eyebrows and turned to give Ron a truly penetrating glare. He swallowed nervously and lowered his gaze, knowing how they were all thinking of his words the previous night.
"Well, Mr Weasley," said Remus, frowning down at him. "It appears that you don't know Harry as well as you think you do. You of all people should have known better, than to think that he'd be so shallow minded about something like this…"
"All right Remus, that will do," Dumbledore interrupted firmly, seeing how awkward Ron was becoming. "He knows what he said last night was wrong, and if he didn't beforehand he should now, if Harry's most recent outburst taught him anything…" Dumbledore paused as Ron unconsciously rubbed his neck, before raising his eyes and addressing everyone. "But now, to bring up a different matter, but of no less importance – regarding two particular students, who willingly disobeyed the order of a professor, lied to their headmaster, and left the school grounds last night…"
Both Ron and Hermione lowered their gaze and practically cowered under the stern gazes of their professors.
"Yes, about that," Hank began, sounding displeased. "I told you both, why it would have been unsafe for you to go after Ginny, and you still saw it fit, to lie to Albus, and leave the school anyway. Not to mention the fact that you stole a certain something from someone to do it."
Ron and Hermione fidgeted shamefully, knowing that Hank was referring to Harry's invisibility cloak.
"We only wanted to help…" Ron muttered despondently, wondering why they were in so much trouble anyway. If he and Hermione hadn't shown, then the events of the night could have turned out much differently…
"We understand that you only wanted to help," Remus replied gently. "Who wouldn't want to, if it was a sibling? But our point is that you deliberately and willingly, jeopardized your own, and others safety … by doing what you did."
"I believe that the most suitable punishment for such actions," Snape spoke up, smiling coldly at the two students, "would be a suspension, and that would be showing the utmost leniency."
"What!?" Ron gasped, while Hermione could only manage to let her jaw drop. They both stood, wide eyed, staring at Snape, utterly speechless by his suggestion. Seeing that Snape's idea hadn't been overridden with protests, Ron and Hermione snapped out of their stupor.
"That's not fair!" Ron half shouted, staring at the potions master angrily. "If it wasn't for me and Hermione going out there, who knows how things might've turned out! And how about Malfoy? Huh? He went and made Hank's Dragon go nuts in class yesterday, and he barely gets a second glance!!"
"That is a completely different matter, Mr Weasley," Snape shot back icily. "We are talking about your refusal to follow directions, not Mr Malfoy's penchant for causing chaos."
Ron gaped at Snape, before turning his eyes to the other teachers.
"I can't believe your considering this!!" he yelled. "Professor," Ron turned to McGonagall, "You were there! If we didn't come, then how would you've gotten Ginny back here? Everyone else was caught up with that Wolfgang guy! You can't say that it wasn't a good thing that we decided to go along…"
"I won't deny that your timely arrival was of great assistance, Mr Weasley," McGonagall reasoned calmly, casting a brief glance at Hermione as well. "But whether your presence helped or not, is not the topic of discussion at the moment, is it? It is your obedience … or lack thereof, that we were talking about…"
"I don't believe this!!" Ron exclaimed, venting his building frustration as he slammed his fist onto the tray table, making them jangle.
"Mr Weasley, do calm down – " Dumbledore started reasonably, only to be cut off by another tirade from Ron.
"You people are so biased!!" he ranted, seemingly oblivious to Dumbledore's words. "You let the Slytherins get away with near on murder, and we get suspended for helping out!!"
Before anyone could react to Ron's forwardness, he spun on his heel and stormed toward the Wing doors, cursing under his breath as he went.
"Ron wait!" Hermione called out, going against her wanting to go after him. "Come back!" Her words fell on deaf ears though, and Ron vanished from sight, leaving the small gathering staring in his wake. "Oh dear," she sighed, turning to face a rather stunned Remus and Hank.
"Albus," Snape started, his features stony. "Behaviour of such disrespect should be firm grounds to have him suspended, on top of his disobedience last night, and – "
"Don't push your luck, Severus," Hank cut in shortly, appearing most agitated by the Slytherin. "You've done enough already, what with your remark about being suspended…"
"I didn't hear you complaining about it," Snape countered, standing his ground unflinchingly as Hank stood before him.
"I was too busy gaping at you, for even contemplating it," Hank replied, scowling heavily.
"That will do, both of you!" Dumbledore demanded, making the two men stand down. "I think we can all agree that this little situation was handled badly. I will have some words with you two in a moment," Dumbledore pointed to Hank and Snape, before turning his gaze to Hermione. "Miss Granger … If you would be so kind as to go find Mr Weasley, and bring him up to my office after breakfast. I wish to speak to the both of you, about this matter…"
Hermione looked at the ground as Dumbledore spoke, but still nodded at his request. "Yes sir," she muttered quietly, before brushing past the headmaster, and exiting the ward.
Hank and Snape started arguing again the instant Hermione shut the doors to the Wing; both accusing the other of being either too lenient, or too harsh, and calling names like Stubborn Slytherin, or Feral Feline.
"OK Severus," Hank snapped, after a minute or two of uninterrupted insult throwing. "You and I have never seen eye to eye on a lot of things, and for the Cause we've tried to put aside our differences, and work together … But suggesting suspension was going a touch too far, don't you think? Ron was right … If he and Hermione hadn't shown when they did…?" Hank shook his head, not wanting to think about any alternate endings to the night. "And you have to think about Harry as well, Severus," Hank continued, his voice considerably softer than before. "It's going to affect him, no matter what happens. If they stay, we'll have to set punishment, and Harry will most likely argue the point. If they're suspended …? Well, lets just say I wouldn't want to see his reaction to *that* statement…"
"But there is still the chance that he won't lose control," Snape reasoned. "He actually might agree to a punishment. Probably not suspension, but even he knows when he does something wrong he'll be punished. There's no reason to think he won't have the same philosophy when it comes to his friends."
"Highly unlikely," Hank countered, glaring at the considerably smaller potions master in frustration.
"In either case – " Dumbledore cut in, raising his voice pointedly. "It bares little consequence, because I am not going to allow Miss Granger, or Mr Weasley, to be suspended…"
"Albus, you can't be serious!" said Snape exasperatedly. "It's the smallest they deserve after what they did – "
"However!" Dumbledore continued, his voice drowning out Snape's, "I will allow point withdrawal, and suitable detentions to be administered. They disobeyed, yes … but they were also of great help due to it…"
Grudgingly, Snape jerked his head in a agitated nod. "As you wish, Albus. I request that they each serve at least one detention with me … and if any others are thought to be required, then you could divide them up between yourselves?"
Remus, Hank and Minerva gave each other an approving glance, before declaring that Snape's formula was indeed appropriate.
"Very well Severus," said Minerva. "I will take fifty points from Gryffindor, and both Miss Granger, and Mr Weasley will serve their detention with you, at the same time. Any others are yet to be determined, but I'm sure we'll think of something…"
"Now that that's settled," said Dumbledore, rather jovially, "It's best that you all get ready for breakfast, and today's classes."
"Um … About that, Albus," Remus spoke up, a touch nervously. "Might I request that I stay here for the day? It's just that – "
Dumbledore nodded understandingly and raised his hand, to stop Remus from continuing. "I understand, Remus. It's quite all right … so long as Mr Potter wishes company, and with Madame Pomfrey's approval, of course…"
"Of course Remus can stay," Poppy stated, as though it was obvious. "And he needn't ask Mr Potter if he would like company. He's not going to stay in here for another day," she said forcefully. "I won't have him getting all depressed while he waits for Sirius to either die, or make a turnaround. He's fit enough to go to classes, so he will."
"I'm sure he'll have some choice words about that," Hank remarked, throwing a worried glance in the direction of the back rooms.
"So…" Remus started, also looking to the back hall. "Who's going to tell him to go down to breakfast?"
Before the last word even left Remus's mouth, Hank started striding toward Sirius's room. Remus raised his eyebrows and looked at Dumbledore questioningly.
"He feels it's his responsibility, Remus," Dumbledore explained, after Hank had vanished down the hall. "He feels very guilty about Sirius's condition. It was his job to protect everyone, and he failed to do that … and then add the fact that it was Harry's Godfather that was injured…" Dumbledore sighed heavily. "Let's just say, that he feels his honour is quite tarnished…"
"But it wasn't his fault!" Remus exclaimed, not wanting to believe that his brother could think so low of himself. "How was he supposed to know what was going to happen?"
"That's not how he sees it," said Dumbledore gently. "As much as he would deny it, Hank has very much the same line of thinking as Mr Potter does, in that he feels it to be his fault, because the choice he made brought about the situation." Seeing Remus's mildly confused expression, Dumbledore continued, "Harry believes that Mr Diggory's death last term, was his own doing, because he told him to take the trophy with him, thereby leading him to his death. It's much the same with Hank at the moment. He instructed Sirius to go with him, and due to that, he was there … allowing him to save Miss Weasley, but almost certainly forfeiting his own life to do it."
"But, Hank's told Harry that what happened with Cedric *wasn't* his fault," Remus put forward, his mien confused.
Dumbledore nodded. "That's correct, yes. And I'm sure that if we were to tell Mr Potter about Hank's guilt in this matter, he would try to convince him that it wasn't his fault as well…"
Remus shook his head and stole another glance toward the back. "It's uncanny," he said, sounding awed. "They only met a few weeks ago … and yet they're so similar, in so many ways…" He turned back to Dumbledore and gave him a half grin. "If I didn't know any better … I might've thought they were related…" ………
Harry walked through the halls on his way to breakfast, with his head hung low, hands shoved in his pockets as his feet scuffed at the floor. He sighed heavily as his mind once again flitted back to Sirius, the image of him laying there, hanging on to life by a thread, taking over his being with each second it remained.
Harry swallowed and took a shuddering breath, thankful that Madame Pomfrey had granted him permission to visit Sirius during his breaks and free time that day, but feeling a little upset that she hadn't allowed him to visit Ginny at the same time. Harry knew that she needed to rest, so she could heal properly. But that didn't stop the disappointment flitting through him at the thought of it. It had been Ginny's insistence that finally made Harry leave Sirius's bedside, when Hank came in to tell him he was to attend breakfast and classes that day, with the rest of the school. He smiled as he remembered the way she had continually reassured him, that Sirius would still be there, when he next managed to visit.
Grimacing slightly, Harry sighed again as he remembered the way Madame Pomfrey had behaved so nervously around him, when he'd asked her if he would be allowed to visit Sirius during the day. She'd been so tense, and her gaze had flicked about nervously, rather than meeting his eye as she might've done normally.
Harry quickened his pace, as he noticed that the hallways were growing steadily more crowded, seeing how everyone was now coming down to breakfast. Far from being hungry, Harry strode faster as he was uncomfortably aware of the many stares that were following him, no doubt wondering why he hadn't shown for dinner the previous night, when Dumbledore had told them that he would.
As he was staring at the floor, not wanting to meet anyone's eye, Harry rounded a corner and promptly ran into someone who'd been standing there, talking in a small huddle. Harry stumbled, but caught his balance in time to stop falling to the floor. No such luck for the soul he'd careened into, hearing the dull thud created when they struck the hard ground.
Harry hastily spun around, and began to apologize, but he stopped as soon as he saw who it was.
"Watch where you're going, Potter!" Malfoy snapped, as Crabbe and Goyle helped him to his feet. "What's the matter?" he asked scathingly when Harry didn't reply or react. "The Dark Lord steal your tongue while you were visiting?"
Harry bit back the heated retort threatening to fly at Malfoy, noticing the sarcasm in the question as Malfoy spoke. It was obvious to Harry that he knew he hadn't been with Voldemort at all, but to say otherwise would prove he had connections with the Wizard.
"Gone mute, have you?" Malfoy continued, snickering while his two cronies guffawed beside him. "You know," Malfoy took a step toward Harry threateningly, "I think that Dumbledore made up all that crap about you. I mean … who ever heard of going out of their way to not antagonise someone? Can you imagine it Potter? Me, not making snide remarks at you…" Malfoy was speaking only loud enough for Harry to hear him now, but as he was continually flicking his eyes toward those that had been attracted by the small incident, he failed to notice the intense anger flash inside Harry's eyes.
" – I suppose I could just redirect my wit toward that Mudblood of yours – "
Harry knew that he was fighting a losing battle, and even though he truly felt the urge to smear Malfoy's brains across the stonework, Harry resisted the desires to attack Malfoy with every ounce of his being. Suddenly, a thought struck him like lightning. As this happened more often, Harry surmised more ways out of his frenzies … and he reasoned that if he let loose sooner, he could expel his rage before he lost control of his actions, and with lesser amounts of damage……
Severus went over his detention plans for Ron and Hermione once again in his head, making sure that it would be suitably revolting for the both of them, without being overly disgusting. They had helped out, after all, even if he didn't agree with their disobedience to achieve it. Severus slowed his saunter as he heard a small commotion, somewhere down toward the Great Hall. Sighing, he made his way quickly toward the disturbance … freezing in his tracks at the sight that greeted him…
A growing crowd was surrounding, what Severus assumed, was a scuffle of some sort. People were jeering or cheering, depending on who was winning. Shaking his head in disgust, Severus bellowed, "WHAT'S GOING ON HERE???" He grinned in satisfaction as the crowd became suddenly silent, making them step aside as he quickly approached the sound of the continuing fight.
As the persons involved came into view, however … Snape's grin all but vanished. Draco Malfoy and Harry Potter, were inside the little circle of students, and neither seemed to have heard his shout moments beforehand. Stunned momentarily, Severus came to his senses and dashed forward, as Harry landed – what seemed to be another – vicious blow to Malfoy's beaten and bloodied face.
Severus ran up to them both, and immediately tried to pry Harry off Malfoy, with no success. Suddenly, out of nowhere, Harry shifted his weight slightly, and bent his knees. Baffled by the strange move, Severus looked down, only to see Harry leap upwards…
Any thought after that was made impossible, as profound pain shot through Severus's nose and jaw, and dazzling white lights obscured his vision. Numbly, Severus found himself landing on the floor heavily, only just managing to groan as the pain in his head intensified dramatically. As though from a great distance, Severus heard a collective gasp from the surrounding students, just before a sharp crack was heard, followed by a dull thud, as something else joined him on the floor……
Harry shook his head as the slight daze that had befallen him, slowly faded away. He found himself breathing heavily, and – as he'd hoped – free of the rage that had built within him at Malfoy's words. A smile flashed across his face at the revelation … but it vanished the next moment as he remembered what he'd done during his half controlled frenzy.
Harry's eyes darted everywhere, feeling his heartbeat quicken as he saw a great deal of students surrounding, and staring at him. Mostly with looks of fear or supreme angst. Harry quickly averted his eyes, but felt his chest tighten as he saw a very beaten Malfoy, laying sprawled at Professor Snape's feet; who was also laying on the stone floor, trying to sit up.
A stab of terror flashed through Harry, as he vividly recalled head butting the Potions Master moments ago, grimacing as he saw a steady stream of blood, flowing from his nose and busted lip. He remembered … it was as he'd tried to separate Malfoy and himself…
Although Harry hated Malfoy more than any living being, other than the Dursleys and Voldemort … he felt sympathetic as the vision of his slamming Malfoy's head into his knee, moments before he bashed his head against the wall, knocking him out, flashed across his eyes.
It couldn't be helped, Harry kept telling himself, finding himself unable to move as Snape slowly got to his feet, and walked over toward him, rather unsteadily.
He would've lost total control if he hadn't let loose … it couldn't be helped!
Snape's eyes bore into Harry's, and he found that he was so petrified about what was going to happen to him, that Harry couldn't look away.
"Everyone, go down to breakfast!" Snape barked, his eyes never leaving Harry. "NOW!!" he yelled when no one moved, succeeding in sending everyone scuttling toward the Great Hall. "You two, will take Mr Malfoy to the Hospital Wing," Snape continued, somehow knowing that Crabbe and Goyle hadn't left with the other students. "You will inform Madame Pomfrey, that I shall give her an explanation, when I next see her…"
Obediently, the two Slytherins grabbed Malfoy under an arm each, and started hauling him to the Ward … leaving Harry and Snape alone.
Harry felt terror as he never had before, but he couldn't explain why he felt it. He started to tremble, his breathing becoming unsteady, and he couldn't take his eyes off Snape, who for his part was starting to feel concerned by Harry's strange behaviour.
Feeling that it was related to what had just happened, Snape raised his hand, intending to try and get Harry to calm down a bit … much to his surprise, it did the exact opposite……
The second Snape began to raise his hand, a brilliantly detailed image flashed across Harry's vision, blocking out Snape, and replacing it with a scene he'd never hoped to think of again…
Harry gingerly crawled out of the Cupboard, casting a swift glance around the hallway and listening for any sound of his dastardly relatives. Hearing nothing (as it was still reasonably early in the morning) Harry smiled and stood, closing the cupboard door quietly as he snuck into the kitchen. It was Dudley's birthday today, and Harry intended to have a real breakfast, instead of the scrap meals he usually got. He needed to make sure he had enough energy to run away from Dudley and his gang.
Trying to be as quiet as possible, Harry opened the fridge and started to gather the milk and other things he wanted to eat, spying Dudley's birthday cake sitting on the bottom. Harry wrinkled his nose in disgust as he read the loopy writing, spelling out: "Dear Duddykins', Happy fifth Birthday, Love, your Parents."
Shaking his head again, Harry staggered toward the table and tried to reach up and place everything he'd gathered on the table…
The next thing Harry knew … everything was on the floor, crashing loudly as it all slipped out of his arms. Harry froze, unmoving as he stared at the broken Milk bottle; the smeared butter…
Thunderous footfalls suddenly came hammering down the stairs, making Harry's breathing erratic with anxiety. He wanted to run … to hide … but he was stuck to the spot.
The kitchen door flew open, revealing Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia, still in their nightclothes, and looking ready to attack the nearest intruder. Suddenly, Petunia shrieked as her eyes fell upon the mess on her meticulously spotless floor, getting Vernon's attention as she did so.
With the sudden noise, Harry finally came to his senses and was able to move again … but as he swivelled, intending to run out the back door, he slipped in the butter and fell to the side … landing in the open fridge, and destroying Dudley's cake in the process…
What happened next would be etched into Harry's mind for the rest of his life, but he would do anything to be able to forget it…
Upon seeing his son's cake destroyed by their retch of a Nephew, Uncle Vernon bellowed like a madman, and instantly bore down on the small and defenceless Harry … picking him up by his shirt collar, leaving his legs swinging helplessly in the air.
Terror flowed through Harry as he'd never experienced it before. He'd never seen his Uncle act this way before, and it scared him. Vernon drew Harry closer, so their noses were barely inches apart, oblivious to the way Harry was squirming to get away.
Sensing that he had to do something to appease his Uncle's anger, Harry desperately whispered, "I love you…" Harry had heard some of the other kids at Day Care say it to their parents, and they were rewarded with large hugs and kisses … smiling happily as they left to go home…
Instead of being pacified, Vernon's eyes bulged and he hissed, "You should have died with your parents!" before raising his hand, sending it hurtling at Harry's frail five year old body repeatedly…
The memory ended as suddenly as it began, startling Harry so profoundly that he momentarily forgot where he was, or what he'd been doing. His vision snapped back to normal, and Harry's fears suddenly overwhelmed him as he saw a person standing in front of him with their hand raised.
Harry immediately stumbled backward and overbalanced, falling to the floor as he held up his hands, trying to shield himself as he screamed out, "No!! Please don't hit me again!! I'll do whatever you want, just please don't – "
He scrambled away from the figure, pushing himself along on the floor, looking about for any means of escape … when Harry slowly began to clam down. He blinked a few times, wincing as the painful blows he'd received so long ago seemed to return in force, before looking up at the person he'd been trying to escape from.
Harry was stunned as Professor Snape seemed beside himself, looking most alarmed by what had just transpired. But beneath his surprise, Harry felt acute shame… Of all the people to see him in such a state…
Looking at the ground, Harry got to his feet and tried to regain his composure, wondering all the while what had brought on the sudden memory. Looking back at the potions master, Harry knew that he wanted to know what had just happened, but Harry wasn't going to tell him. He didn't exactly know himself. So as Snape opened his mouth cautiously, Harry spoke before him.
"I don't know, Professor," Harry answered, before Snape had even asked the question. "I have no idea what just happened … and, about what happened before, with Malfoy…" Harry trailed off, once again feeling antsy at Snape's possible reaction.
Snape eyed Harry for a moment longer, not sure if he should believe him or not, but also knowing what might happen if he pushed the subject. So he reluctantly submitted to the change of subject. Sighing, Severus conjured a handkerchief and did his best to mop himself up, eyeing Harry all the while.
"Mr Potter … I'm not even going to bother asking why you saw it necessary to beat half the life out of Mr Malfoy, because it was most likely not entirely intentional. Though that could be debatable," he muttered, though not quietly enough, for Harry had heard him.
"Look," Harry said, trying not to sound too forward. "I'm – I'm sorry that I broke your nose, but that wasn't meant to happen! If you hadn't show up, then I'd've only hit Malfoy a couple of more times, before I came back to normal … which I did. You only got hit because you tried to stop me…"
"So what then?" Snape cut in, looking agitated. "Am I supposed to believe that you've discovered some way to have some sort of control, while frenzied?"
Harry nodded. "Yeah. It was just proven. And I wouldn't call it "control" per se, either. I wasn't able to stop myself once I started – at least, not until I calmed down enough to stop – and I only had a small amount of control over what I did. I didn't try to kill him, for starters, and I wasn't able to stop myself from hitting you when you arrived … but it still wasn't as bad as it could've been…"
Snape listened to Harry's explanation without interruption, taking it all in, and realizing that what he said, seemed to be true. He'd only beat up Malfoy … Never was there any sign that he intended to take his life, as he'd done with Ron. When Harry finished speaking, Snape nodded and said, "Very well Potter, what you said does tend to make some sort of sense, so tell me how you came to this revelation? I'll need to tell the Headmaster of this new development, so you need to tell me your theory on the matter…"
Harry blinked in surprise at the way Snape was behaving at the moment. No snide comments, no insults … he even seemed to be polite. Noticing that he was still waiting for an answer, Harry shook himself and began to explain.
"Well … I thought that if I let loose when I start to feel myself slipping, then what I do wouldn't be as bad as what it might've been if I just let it build and snap. I won't lose complete control, but the only way to let it out is using either physical force, or just expelling it like I did in the Hospital Wing yesterday … but I still don't know how I did that, so it's almost irrelevant…"
Snape ran this over in his head a couple of times, before repeating the theory, making sure he got it right. When Harry nodded, Snape sighed and said, "So really and truly, no matter when you let loose, something or someone will need to be fixed … just with varying degrees of ease…"
Harry nodded again, looking at the floor as he did so. Even though it would prevent him from snapping completely, he would still end up breaking something, or hurting someone…
"All right, Mr Potter," Snape said firmly, drawing Harry from his thoughts. "I'll go and inform the headmaster of your theory, and see what he has to say about it. In the meantime though, I suggest that you try and stay away from Mr Malfoy … or at least try and avoid him." Snape smirked thinly, "I don't think Madame Pomfrey enjoys his visits as much as yours…" ………
"Harry!" Hermione exclaimed happily, when she saw him walking toward them, barely paying any attention to all the people who'd turned to look at him as he entered the Great Hall. "I can't believe Madame Pomfrey actually let you out!"
Harry grinned at her, overjoyed that she was still treating him normally, even after he'd struck her. As he approached both her and a rather sullen looking Ron, Harry promised himself to make it up to the both of them. What he'd done was unforgivable, but Harry was happy they understood.
"Well, she did," Harry answered as he sat beside Hermione, and started filling his plate with bacon and eggs. "I think she might be sick of seeing me in the Ward."
Hermione laughed and resumed eating, but Harry was paying more attention to Ron, and how he was only playing with his food, rather than eating it.
Hoping that it had nothing to do with what he'd done that morning, Harry cautiously asked, "Is something the matter, Ron?"
When Ron simply shook his head, Harry looked at Hermione worriedly. "Is it me?" he whispered, truly hoping he was wrong. He felt a great weight lift from his shoulders though, when Hermione hastily shook her head.
"No! No," she replied, just as quietly. She glanced at Ron briefly and grimaced before returning her gaze to Harry. "We … um. We've been told to see Dumbledore after breakfast … he's going to talk to us about us following you all last night…"
"Oh," said Harry, feeling sorry for the both of them. Although he wasn't very happy at them either, he had to admit that he would've done the same if he was in their shoes. "I hope it goes well," he told her, grinning widely, laughing when she poked her tongue at him.
"Hey Harry!"
Harry looked down the table, and saw Fred and George grinning back at him, waving happily. He grinned back and returned their wave, laughing as they said, "Glad you're back mate! That Quidditch Cup is ours again this year!!"
"Do they only ever think about Quidditch?" Hermione rolled her eyes and shook her head.
Harry shook his head. "No, I'm pretty sure they think of other things every now and then?"
"Their next chaos causing prank, maybe…" Hermione laughed.
"Hey, has anyone thought about a new Keeper and who's going to be Captain?" Harry asked suddenly, as he shoved a forkful of bacon into his mouth.
"Honestly, Harry, you're as bad as they are!" Hermione sighed, motioning toward the Twins, though still smiling. "But no … no one's really thought about it, seeing as they all thought you were dead, only to find out that you weren't…"
"Hey Harry! What's the verdict?"
Startled by a sudden voice behind him, Harry spun around and came face to face with Colin Creevy, looking awed to talk to him as always, yet portraying a slight wariness at the same time.
Confused by his question, Harry frowned. "What verdict?"
"Well, what happened when Snape sent everyone away after you beat on Malfoy and – "
"You what!?" Hermione gasped, looking at Harry, who cringed, hoping that they wouldn't've found out so soon.
"Yep!" Collin chirped. "And that's not all – Harry actually head butt Professor Snape when he tried to break them up too!"
"You're joking!" Ron exclaimed, looking up from his plate, with the biggest grin on his face that Harry had ever seen. "Is he telling the truth?" Ron asked Harry happily.
"Thank you Collin," Harry grumbled, turning to face an ecstatic Ron, and a shocked Hermione, as Collin continued down the table. "And yes, he was telling the truth. Malfoy was half intentional … but Snape was a complete accident, I swear. It wouldn't've happened if he didn't interfere…"
"Is that why he isn't here?" Hermione inquired, looking up toward the teachers table, spying two Professors missing instead of one. "Hang on? Where's Remus?"
Harry sighed, "No, Snape didn't go to the Ward because I broke his nose – not that anyone would notice anyway, it's so crooked – And Remus is staying with Sirius throughout the day…"
An awkward silence followed Harry's statement, until Hermione patted him reassuringly on the shoulder.
"Don't worry Harry," she said gently. "He'll be OK…"
Ron nodded his affirmation, and Harry sighed. "I hope so… What have we got first today?" he asked, taking a stab at changing the subject.
Hermione took out her timetable, and said, "Double Charms."
Harry nodded, reminding himself that tiny Professor Flitwick bore none of the knowledge about him that some of his other teachers did.
"We'd better get going up to Dumbledore's office anyway," Hermione stated, starting to gather her things, as Ron groaned. "We'll see you there."
"Good luck!" Harry waved, watching his two friends exit the Great Hall quickly. Shaking his head, Harry hastily finished his meal and headed up to Gryffindor Tower to get his things. While he wandered the familiar path, Harry's mind repeatedly went over the memory that had flashed before his eyes so quickly, just after he'd driven Snape to the floor. It wasn't as though he wanted to remember the incident. It was the first time that Uncle Vernon had struck him in such a manner, and it had only happened one or two times afterward … but what was eating at Harry's mind was WHY? Why had it happened? Out of all the memories he possessed, why would that one surface? Then again … why had it surfaced at all? ……
"How could they even think about suspending us for it though?" Ron asked for the umpteenth time, as he and Hermione hurried toward Dumbledore's office for their little talk.
"Hermione rolled her eyes and said, "We don't know for sure if that's what this is about, Ron," she paused. "It could be about what happened with Harry, or even wanting to know what happened last night from our point of view? We - don't - know!"
"But we don't deserve to be suspended – "
"Yes we do," Hermione cut in, sighing at Ron's alarmed expression. "We broke the rules big time, Ron, and you know it. And on top of that, we totally disregarded Hank's order to not follow them, putting everyone in danger…"
"So…" Ron began, "you wouldn't be upset with Dumbledore if he ended up suspending us?"
"Well of course I'd be upset with it," Hermione exclaimed, throwing her hands in the air in exasperation. "Imagine all the work we'd have to catch up on! Harry was gone for some of the first and second week, and look at everything he had to do…" She sighed and shook her head, before facing Ron again. "What I mean is, if we do end up getting suspended … it's our own fault, and we'd've earned it."
"But – "
Ron stopped as Hermione held up her hand. They'd reached the Stone Gargoyle in front of the Spiral Staircase, that lead into the Headmaster's office. Giving each other a nervous glance, Hermione gave the password, and they both ascended the stairs, stopping just outside the door.
Hermione took a deep breath, and said, "Ready?" Ron nodded jerkily, and Hermione knocked sharply on the door; opening it when they heard Dumbledore's summons.
"Ahh … Miss Granger, Mr Weasley," he gave them a warm smile and motioned to the chairs in front of his desk. "Do sit down please, there is something I wish to discuss with the both of you…"
"Are you going to suspend us?" Ron asked hurriedly, unable to contain himself. Hermione slapped him on the shoulder and sent a scowl his way, but her disapproving stare soon turned into confusion when they heard Dumbledore's soft chuckling drift over to them.
"You certainly aren't the most patient of people, are you Mr Weasley?" he said, eyeing Ron over he half moon spectacles with amusement.
Seeing Dumbledore wasn't exactly in a serious mood, Ron took it as a good sign and grinned sheepishly back at the headmaster.
"Now, if you would both take a seat, we can get on with our short meeting, so you can get down to class before it starts," Dumbledore stated firmly, though still looking mildly amused.
Obligingly, Hermione and Ron sat in front of the Headmaster, and waited for him to begin the topic of conversation.
"As I'm sure you've both surmised by now, this relates to what happened both last night, and this morning," said Dumbledore, eyeing them both sternly. "After a small discussion, everyone present agreed to keep you both at school, so long – "
"So, we're not suspended!?" Ron cut in excitedly, once again earning a slap from Hermione.
"He wasn't finished!" she hissed, before turning back to Dumbledore, who for his part was looking at the banter quite light-heartedly.
"Sorry," Ron gulped, rubbing his shoulder lightly.
"Quite all right, Mr Weasley," Dumbledore chuckled. "Just try not to make a habit out of it."
Ron nodded ardently and clamped his jaws closed.
"Now, what was I saying … ah yes – Everyone agreed, that instead of suspension, you both will lose fifty points from Gryffindor, and will each serve multiple detentions."
"Multiple?" said Ron weakly. "As in, more than one?"
Dumbledore nodded, smiling faintly at Ron's sudden IQ decrease. "That's correct Mr Weasley. Your first detention will be served with Professor Snape, and the others are still the be determined. Professor McGonagall will inform you both of the time your detention will be set."
They both nodded silently, unable to speak as it all sunk in.
"Um … Professor?" Hermione spoke up softly, "H – How many detentions are we going to get?"
"Well, a specific number was never disclosed, so I assume that you'll be getting them until we all agree you've done enough." Dumbledore explained, hiding a smile at the shock on both their faces. Although what they did was serious, Dumbledore also knew that they'd probably only serve one detention with each of the others, as they all had a little soft spot where these particular students were involved … well, except for Snape.
"You know, you really shouldn't be so surprised by this news," said Dumbledore. "If anything, I'd've thought that you'd be grateful you weren't suspended?"
"No we are!" Hermione answered swiftly, sounding a little apologetic as well. "We knew that we were going to get into a lot of trouble … but I just found it was still a bit of a surprise. I mean … an unknown number of detentions …"
Dumbledore nodded understandingly. "I agree … you wouldn't've expected it … but you should agree that it is just?"
"Yes sir," said Hermione. "It is. We definitely deserved it…"
"Well … now that that's settled, I'm going to thank you both, for disregarding what Hank told you, and leaving the grounds to help."
Hermione and Ron allowed their jaws to drop at this statement, both feeling profound confusion.
"If it hadn't been for you disobedience, who knows how the rescue of Miss Weasley may have faired. For all we know, your assistance in the matter prevented even more serious injuries from being incurred. As I've been told, by a certain informant, your approach was a distraction from Kahn's group, meaning that Piedro wasn't expecting anyone arriving for some time, because he thought the only people that had been sent out was you two.
"Plus the fact that you were able to transport Miss Weasley away from danger, and came up with sufficient means to get her here undetected. So again, I thank you … but I also ask that you don't do it again…" Dumbledore finished, peering over his glasses at them sternly, though wearing a small smile.
"Thanks Professor," both Ron and Hermione said in unison, smiling in relief, knowing that their efforts hadn't gone completely unnoticed. "And we'll try not to do it again," Hermione added.
"I truly hope so," Dumbledore replied. "Though when your one of Mr Potter's friends, I can understand that that will not always be the case…"
Ron and Hermione nodded, not knowing how to respond to such a statement, and both stood, for the tone of Dumbledore's voice suggested that the meeting was over.
"Thank-you again, for letting us stay, Professor," Hermione added as she and Ron made toward the door.
"That's quite all right, Miss Granger," Dumbledore answered. He smiled broadly and said, "Someone needs to stop Harry from head-butting any more teachers." ……
"How'd it go?" Harry asked when he saw Ron and Hermione turn into the Charms corridor a few minutes before class started. He tried to put on a happy face for them, but he knew they wouldn't be fooled. He turned out to be correct. As soon as they looked up at him, their happy expressions faltered, and upon looking at the rest of the class, they figured out why Harry wasn't in the best of moods.
As soon as Harry had arrived, most of the class had stepped to the side, or backed away, not meeting his eye, and generally avoiding him. Only the Gryffindor boys had stood anywhere near him, and even then, Neville looked nervous, and Seamus and Dean were a little tense as well.
Both Hermione and Ron scowled at the other Gryffindors and the Hufflepuffs, as they came to a stop right beside Harry.
"Don't worry too much over it, Harry," Hermione whispered reassuringly. "You just need to let them get used to having you around again."
Harry looked up, smiling weakly at Hermione's attempt to make him feel better. "Thanks," he said softly. "So, how'd it go?" he repeated, looking at Ron as he sighed heavily. Harry frowned, wondering how much trouble they'd gotten into. "Was it really that bad?"
"No Harry," said Hermione, shaking her head at Ron in exasperation. "It wasn't bad. We got what we deserved, and we accept that."
"How on earth could you call detention with Snape "Not that bad"?" said Ron in a high voice. "Plus we'll have who-knows-how-many more!"
"You got more than one?" Harry questioned, truly surprised that they got such a punishment.
Hermione nodded. "Yeah. Dumbledore said we'd keep getting them until all the teachers had agreed that we'd done enough."
Harry whistled, just as Professor Flitwick called them all in. Ron, Harry and Hermione quickly took their regular seats, and noticed that the seats directly adjacent to them weren't filled until the very end … and with much reluctance.
The whole lesson, Harry was distracted as he kept noticing someone peer over their shoulder every now and then, looking at him nervously. Even Flitwick seemed a little on edge, while he was anywhere near Harry, even though he knew a little about his situation.
Ron and Hermione were continually scowling at the very same people that kept staring at them, and every now and then, would shoot out a quiet remark, telling them to mind their own business, or ask them what was so interesting.
"I think you should probably pay a visit to the Hospital Wing," Hermione suggested after class had finished, seeing how Harry was in a foul mood by the time lunch rocked around. "See how Sirius is going, and pay a little visit to Ginny."
"Yeah, I think I might," Harry answered glumly. "Though I'm not allowed to visit Ginny. Madame Pomfrey said that she needed her rest, so I can't see her."
"Well, if you tell her about the morning you just had, maybe she'd let you?" Hermione replied, not failing to notice the small scowl on Ron's face at the suggestion.
Harry's face brightened a little at this, and he nodded. "I might just do that. I'll go up once I've had a quick bite to eat though."
Sure enough, once they'd had a small amount of lunch, they headed off to the Ward, ignoring the people staring at them as they went……