Disclaimer: I don't own anything! I am jealous with Tanemura Arina
because she owns Access!!
A/N: I get review! I get review! Thanks Akio! This chapter can be done
with your support!
By Irisgem
" Shinji? " * knock knock *
I couldn't believe it! He made a beautiful lady waiting for minutes in front of his door!!! Usually he picked me up in the morning, but now he was late. I wondered what had happened. This was Sunday, though. I was just thinking to ask his accompany to visit my ill father.
" Natsuki-chan? " A young boy that was older than me two years came into my attention. At his beside stood an adolescence girl with shoulder length hair. They looked at me with curiosity.
" What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be at hospital? " He asked while he was taking my hand to his. I took a step backward with a sweat dropped. I smile foolishly and answered him back.
" Yes, I am going to hospital now. So I want to ask Shinji-chan to go with me. But I change my mind! I would never ask him again! Never!! To make me waiting that long! " I was so angry, with frustration and concern. I was thinking to ask him about my past on the way to Nagoya hospital, my grandfather's property.
" Eh? He said that he was on the way to your father's room when we met him an hour ago. Does he go alone? We thought that.." Celcia stared with queried look.
I felt another urge of feeling that made me depressed. He was never doing this to me. Leaving me alone and going without any message. He usually followed me and was always at my side, no matter the situation was.
He was always like my garbage bin, where I threw all my emotion to him. He knew everything about my feeling more than other person, even more than my beloved parent.
He was a very jovial teenager; maybe too cheerful that plagued me all time. But on the same time, he was the only that could give me consolation when I really needed it. But this time...he didn't understand my woe for my father.
" Thank you, Celcia-chan. I'll go to hospital now. " I unleashed my hand from Toki's grasp. " I should be hurry. " Then I waved to them and ran toward the lift. They replied my wave though.
" We'll catch up later! "
I smiled secretly. They were really my best friends. Shinji-chan was our playmates too. I wondered why he left me behind. We could walk together. He always said that he really loved to walk with me.
A sudden thought emerged in my mind. Could it be that he was going to talk something in secret with mother? Yesterday he shunned me when a forbidden topic slipped from his lips. There must be a riddle about my past than entangled with his and mother. I walked faster to demand their answer soon.
Access' POV
I sat beside the chestnut head, Maron. Her beautiful eyes were dull and shadowed as she stayed vigil, watching over his husband for a whole twenty hours. I pitied her. I hoped Chiaki would soon wake up. There was a way, but I wasn't ready. I just wanted to keep this moment longer, hoping this time to stay in eternity.
I knew that it wasn't fair to freeze the time, so I stayed there beside Chiaki that reposed in front of my eyes on the white sheet slumber. It was so painful to see Natsuki. She didn't have any feeling toward me and I should leave her soon. I didn't know what to do now. I should become " the messenger of Kami-sama " soon but..I didn't want to leave this world yet.
I saw my human mother. Her amethyst hair veiled her pale face. Her eyes were closed with tiredness, as she stayed awake with Maron. My father had gone for his work. I shouldn't fool myself or be selfish. They were with pure heart devoting their self for love and friendship. I was in qualm. Was it wrong to stay like this for a while? It could be too late if I attached myself longer on Earth.
Then I saw Maron's sleeping form at the corner of my eyes. I smiled a little sadly. She shivered a bit with the wind played her hair. I left my seat and walked to close the window.
The livid sky hung with gray cloud. The blessing water would soon pour down to the Earth, wetting the ground and trees. I touched the cold glass window, missed the freedom of flying. The limitless horizon was my playground, no, Access' playground. Minazuki Shinji never had a pair of wing to fly to the blue sky among the doves.
I returned to my proper seat and took my jacket off to cover Maron's fragile body and heart. My mother hadn't putting her sweater off. Well, it was almost winter season. She always reminded herself to prepare her sweater. She wasn't that careless like her best friend, Maron.
While I was placing my jacket on her, she woke a bit sleepily. " Thank you, Access. " She still hadn't forgotten about my old name. Smiling warmly, I replied her back. " Your welcome,..Jeanne. "
She giggled little and defeated to dream again. I took over the turn to watch my old partner thief. He was paler than yesterday. It seemed the illness had dwelled quietly inside him for a long time. The cancer was too severe by now. Sometimes he winced in pain but still hadn't regained consciousness.
Suddenly someone entered the private room. " How is he? " I saw the grandfather of Natsuki went in with worries. He still looked young and handsome. He was very akin with Chiaki, only looked older than Chiaki.
I turned my head and gazed on him. " He isn't getting better. I doubt he would wake soon. " He lowered his head with grief. " Oh..Why should be him? It would be better if I were the one who was ill. I never become a good father for him. He was still very young. And he dies soon like his mother. I would be alone again. "
I hated this moody atmosphere and weather. Why should I feel doubt? Wasn't it nice to be useful for other people? I clenched my hand and felt shame for my subtle fear. I had decided. If I could save someone than I'll do it with my might. I should become the wind for Natsuki, and all of my friends.
I tapped his shoulder softly with a consolation meaning. " He would be fine. I promised. For you, Maron, Chiaki, and Natsuki. He blinked at me nervously. " Shouldn't you call them that were older than you with more respect? You said as if you were older than them. "
I whispered like a breeze under my breath. " Yes, I am." He heard it though and looked confused. " What do you...?"
Then a nurse came inside and interrupted his sentence. " President Nagoya, your secretary wishes for your presence. " He sighed with frustrated voice. " I shall come in a minute."
Then he left with the nurse that somehow looked at me with interest. She annoyed me with her winking eyes. I didn't know whether I was that appealing or not for a teenage. Natsuki never gave me a glance. She rejected my love and affection mostly.
" Maron, soon you don't have to worry anymore. If I had to give my human life, then I'll give it for you, pal. "
Then the door opened forcefully. My heart almost stopped to beat. I jolted form my chair then fell helplessly on the floor. " Natsuki, what are you do..."
She cut my word and shouted as loud as she can while she was closing the door behind her. " WHY DO YOU LEAVE ME AND GO HERE WITHOUT INVITING ME?!!!! "
" Uhh...I think that you need time to be alone. " I closed my ears. Her voice deafened my ears and made my brain went numb.
" I DON'T NEED YOU TO CHOOSE WHAT IS THE BEST FOR ME!! " Then I put my forefinger to my lips to shush her. Maron moved a bit, bothered by her thundering voice. She calmed herself and took a seat beside me. She stared at me with flaming anger in her eyes.
" I wonder how you still have flame in your eyes while there is raining outside. " I joked with a bitter reply. "Shinji-chan, why are you doing this to me? "
" Doing what? "
" You are pretending as if there is nothing! I know that you keep something in secret with my parent that I shouldn't know! Please! "
I watched her impassively. " Are you that eager to know? "
" Yes. "
"Even if the consequence of knowing your past would become a burden along your future?"
" YES! "
Maybe I provoked her too much. I snorted with heavy heart. I was sorry, Maron. I would trouble you soon because of your daughter eagerness and me. " Would you come with me? "
I kept my speed with her. Her solemn face made me heart twisted. I loved her too much that wouldn't return. I missed my Fin. Our love died by time. I walked the stairs up to the roof. The droplets of diamond rain hit my face and trickled from my grim face like tears. The darkness reigned over the world. Even the noon was like a night without winking, glittering stars.
" Not all of the truth is nice. Mostly it brings pain and hatred. Still why you wish for it, Natsuki? " She watched me with amazed. It wasn't like me to speak poetic. I could see no doubt in her emerald eyes.
" Because the unknowing past could change me on some way. I..I somehow felt that I missed something that was important in my past. I just had to know. Please, I could take care the consequence by my own. "
I smiled weakly. Her implored eyes killed my heart slowly. " Then you shall the miracle for your belief. " I raised my hands, encountered the falling drop of rain to purify myself.
" Shinji-chan?" She looked startled.
" Please be silence. " I closed my eyes and prayed for Holy power upon me.
// Kami-sama, I am ready...to be your messenger. Please grant me the power to help the one I loved. //
* I have waited. Use this Holy Power once again to save someone that was dear to you, the black angel, Access Time. *
A sudden light blanketed me and gave me such warmth and pain. I could hear the scream of Natsuki.
// Natsuki, this is the truth that you wish to know. //
A very bright light from the roof covered the hospital. Every person watched with amazement and opened jaw. The miracle had occurred on the hospital. I was blackened out for a while with such glowing power that struck me mercilessly. Then the light died out slowly, leaving me with the pair of white wings on my back.
I was in endeavor to sit up while Natsuki took steps backward. The cold rain still fell endlessly, wetting my amethyst feet length hair. I was cladding the kimono dress with a beautiful purple jewel on my forehead.
I was a vice-angel again with the help of Kami-sama. With the power that I obtained just now, I should be able to save Chiaki. But first, I should tell anything about truth to Natsuki. I watched her with tedious look.
I could see fear inside Natsuki's emerald eyes. I could see my angel form on her glassy eyes. With soft voice I tried to calm her. " This...is the truth that you wish to know, Fin Fish."
She blinked at me with curious and doubt. " You...are Shinji-chan? Why you are in my dream? "
" Not Shinji. I am Access. Access Time, the black angel. I am reincarnated into Minazuki Shinji, for Fin. And you are the reincarnation of Fin, the banished angel. "
" No, it couldn't be possible.."
" You are the one who would like to know. Please be strong. "
" You were once an angel that stayed with Maron like her family. And Maron is.. the reincarnation of Jeanne d' Arc. Do you remember the articles about Jeanne's theft in the past? She is Maron. "
" In order to seal the demon, she changed to Jeanne and stole the things that possessed with demon with your help." I stopped for a while, waiting for her reaction. She was too shock to comment, so I continued to tell the truth. I should be hurry as time passed faster for Chiaki.
" And Chiaki is Sindbad, the rival of Jeanne and the one who sealed the demon. He worked as partner...with me. You made an unforgivable sin that made you being banished from Heaven. "
" Then you worked for demon to survive. But Maron's love for you made you realize and turned your back on demon. You died in order to protect Maron, your present mother. And you got reincarnated as her daughter now. That's all. "
I felt sorry for her. I really didn't want her to remember her ordeal. She was too persistent to give up. I mourned for my retelling story too. I didn't tell her everything. Our love in the past was no longer important for now. It would be a burden for her in love affair. I didn't wish to chain her with forgotten love.
Suddenly I could feel the dying aura of Chiaki. He had no time longer. I flied passed the stunned girl. She snapped out of her mind and pursued me. With the wings on my back, no one could see me. They would think of me as a gust of wind.
I entered Chiaki's room gracefully. The awake Maron watched me with surprised. " A...Access? Am I imagining thing? " She rubbed her eyes that were red with tears. I smiled relaxingly. " You're not, Jeanne. "
I walked toward Chiaki's weak body while Maron asked me. " What has happened? Why do you become like this? "
I placed my hand on the blue head's forehead and wielded the blessing Holy Power that I received just now. A soft vague light emerged from my palm, waning the half dark room.
" I'm sorry, Jeanne. I couldn't keep the secret of Fin's past to Natsuki. I just confided her. " Trying to keep my sadness aside, I spoke the message to Maron.
" Jeanne, no, Maron, could you tell this to Miyako? " I gazed at my dear mother. Her innocent sleeping form would remain inside my memory forever. I would miss my happy human life and her angry voice.
" Please tell her that I said sorry for leaving her. For not able to become her son anymore. " I could feel hot tears welled inside my eyes, waiting the proper time to spill out. She looked in fear and anxious.
" What are you talking about?! Why should you leave her? I couldn't tell her like this! ' Your son returned into angel and went back to Heaven.' How could I say that?! Her beloved son transformed back into an angel, couldn't you understand what she might come through later?"
" I have no choice, neither you are. If I don't do this, Chiaki would die. If you were on my place, what would you do? "
She stopped protesting. On the exchange, she cried quietly. Tears fell down like a limitless river. Just the second I had done with Chiaki, Natsuki came into the room. She panted heavily and grabbed my kimono's collar.
" Tell me, where is Shinji-chan?! Are you hiding him? "
" I told you. I am Shinji, but also Access." My jaded voice was almost inaudible. The healing progress really took all of my energy. I was too tired to speak or move.
" I don't believe you!! Give Shinji back! " She screamed that echoed inside the room. Her tears also fell and cried with her mother. Their sobbing voice hurt me. Then Maron helped me. She tapped her daughter's shoulder fondly.
" He tells the truth. He is Shinji, but also Access. "
" No.."
Then a growled sound melted the tense atmosphere. I saw him, the ex- Sindbad, tried to sit up on his bed. Maron's eyes soon filled with love and happiness. Natsuki saw her father with a subtle cheerful one. This family situation made me delighted. We were too long in a foul season. Soon we'll embrace the warm period, except me maybe.
I glimpsed on them for second then limped to the front door. I had to support myself by holding my arm. I lingered in my position when Natsuki called my name.
" Please wait. I don't care whether you are Shinji-chan or Access. I would say thank you. And..please stay.."
I gazed on her. We shared the same look. Sadness, grief, longing, hope and mourning that mixed into one. " I couldn't. That is my sacrifice. I have given up my human life to save him. " Then I spread my wings and flied to the exit way. I chose roof though.
Without much power left, I returned where I should belong. Raindrops and tears fell from my face while I was flying beyond the sky. I could hear the shrill shouting voice of a girl that I loved so much played inside my ear. Without looking back, I replayed her beauty face inside my head. The pain thrust me like thousand sharp knives stabbed my heart.
" SHINJIII!!!"
// I am more in pain than the fallen angel. No one could save me but her. But I couldn't at her side, neither see her. Maybe it is something that called heartbroken. Maybe an angel could die once again. Maybe..
Ugh, how sad..But still review please. I wish I could get two review at least. I wish..Wow, it is tiring. This chapter is long enough.
because she owns Access!!
A/N: I get review! I get review! Thanks Akio! This chapter can be done
with your support!
By Irisgem
" Shinji? " * knock knock *
I couldn't believe it! He made a beautiful lady waiting for minutes in front of his door!!! Usually he picked me up in the morning, but now he was late. I wondered what had happened. This was Sunday, though. I was just thinking to ask his accompany to visit my ill father.
" Natsuki-chan? " A young boy that was older than me two years came into my attention. At his beside stood an adolescence girl with shoulder length hair. They looked at me with curiosity.
" What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be at hospital? " He asked while he was taking my hand to his. I took a step backward with a sweat dropped. I smile foolishly and answered him back.
" Yes, I am going to hospital now. So I want to ask Shinji-chan to go with me. But I change my mind! I would never ask him again! Never!! To make me waiting that long! " I was so angry, with frustration and concern. I was thinking to ask him about my past on the way to Nagoya hospital, my grandfather's property.
" Eh? He said that he was on the way to your father's room when we met him an hour ago. Does he go alone? We thought that.." Celcia stared with queried look.
I felt another urge of feeling that made me depressed. He was never doing this to me. Leaving me alone and going without any message. He usually followed me and was always at my side, no matter the situation was.
He was always like my garbage bin, where I threw all my emotion to him. He knew everything about my feeling more than other person, even more than my beloved parent.
He was a very jovial teenager; maybe too cheerful that plagued me all time. But on the same time, he was the only that could give me consolation when I really needed it. But this time...he didn't understand my woe for my father.
" Thank you, Celcia-chan. I'll go to hospital now. " I unleashed my hand from Toki's grasp. " I should be hurry. " Then I waved to them and ran toward the lift. They replied my wave though.
" We'll catch up later! "
I smiled secretly. They were really my best friends. Shinji-chan was our playmates too. I wondered why he left me behind. We could walk together. He always said that he really loved to walk with me.
A sudden thought emerged in my mind. Could it be that he was going to talk something in secret with mother? Yesterday he shunned me when a forbidden topic slipped from his lips. There must be a riddle about my past than entangled with his and mother. I walked faster to demand their answer soon.
Access' POV
I sat beside the chestnut head, Maron. Her beautiful eyes were dull and shadowed as she stayed vigil, watching over his husband for a whole twenty hours. I pitied her. I hoped Chiaki would soon wake up. There was a way, but I wasn't ready. I just wanted to keep this moment longer, hoping this time to stay in eternity.
I knew that it wasn't fair to freeze the time, so I stayed there beside Chiaki that reposed in front of my eyes on the white sheet slumber. It was so painful to see Natsuki. She didn't have any feeling toward me and I should leave her soon. I didn't know what to do now. I should become " the messenger of Kami-sama " soon but..I didn't want to leave this world yet.
I saw my human mother. Her amethyst hair veiled her pale face. Her eyes were closed with tiredness, as she stayed awake with Maron. My father had gone for his work. I shouldn't fool myself or be selfish. They were with pure heart devoting their self for love and friendship. I was in qualm. Was it wrong to stay like this for a while? It could be too late if I attached myself longer on Earth.
Then I saw Maron's sleeping form at the corner of my eyes. I smiled a little sadly. She shivered a bit with the wind played her hair. I left my seat and walked to close the window.
The livid sky hung with gray cloud. The blessing water would soon pour down to the Earth, wetting the ground and trees. I touched the cold glass window, missed the freedom of flying. The limitless horizon was my playground, no, Access' playground. Minazuki Shinji never had a pair of wing to fly to the blue sky among the doves.
I returned to my proper seat and took my jacket off to cover Maron's fragile body and heart. My mother hadn't putting her sweater off. Well, it was almost winter season. She always reminded herself to prepare her sweater. She wasn't that careless like her best friend, Maron.
While I was placing my jacket on her, she woke a bit sleepily. " Thank you, Access. " She still hadn't forgotten about my old name. Smiling warmly, I replied her back. " Your welcome,..Jeanne. "
She giggled little and defeated to dream again. I took over the turn to watch my old partner thief. He was paler than yesterday. It seemed the illness had dwelled quietly inside him for a long time. The cancer was too severe by now. Sometimes he winced in pain but still hadn't regained consciousness.
Suddenly someone entered the private room. " How is he? " I saw the grandfather of Natsuki went in with worries. He still looked young and handsome. He was very akin with Chiaki, only looked older than Chiaki.
I turned my head and gazed on him. " He isn't getting better. I doubt he would wake soon. " He lowered his head with grief. " Oh..Why should be him? It would be better if I were the one who was ill. I never become a good father for him. He was still very young. And he dies soon like his mother. I would be alone again. "
I hated this moody atmosphere and weather. Why should I feel doubt? Wasn't it nice to be useful for other people? I clenched my hand and felt shame for my subtle fear. I had decided. If I could save someone than I'll do it with my might. I should become the wind for Natsuki, and all of my friends.
I tapped his shoulder softly with a consolation meaning. " He would be fine. I promised. For you, Maron, Chiaki, and Natsuki. He blinked at me nervously. " Shouldn't you call them that were older than you with more respect? You said as if you were older than them. "
I whispered like a breeze under my breath. " Yes, I am." He heard it though and looked confused. " What do you...?"
Then a nurse came inside and interrupted his sentence. " President Nagoya, your secretary wishes for your presence. " He sighed with frustrated voice. " I shall come in a minute."
Then he left with the nurse that somehow looked at me with interest. She annoyed me with her winking eyes. I didn't know whether I was that appealing or not for a teenage. Natsuki never gave me a glance. She rejected my love and affection mostly.
" Maron, soon you don't have to worry anymore. If I had to give my human life, then I'll give it for you, pal. "
Then the door opened forcefully. My heart almost stopped to beat. I jolted form my chair then fell helplessly on the floor. " Natsuki, what are you do..."
She cut my word and shouted as loud as she can while she was closing the door behind her. " WHY DO YOU LEAVE ME AND GO HERE WITHOUT INVITING ME?!!!! "
" Uhh...I think that you need time to be alone. " I closed my ears. Her voice deafened my ears and made my brain went numb.
" I DON'T NEED YOU TO CHOOSE WHAT IS THE BEST FOR ME!! " Then I put my forefinger to my lips to shush her. Maron moved a bit, bothered by her thundering voice. She calmed herself and took a seat beside me. She stared at me with flaming anger in her eyes.
" I wonder how you still have flame in your eyes while there is raining outside. " I joked with a bitter reply. "Shinji-chan, why are you doing this to me? "
" Doing what? "
" You are pretending as if there is nothing! I know that you keep something in secret with my parent that I shouldn't know! Please! "
I watched her impassively. " Are you that eager to know? "
" Yes. "
"Even if the consequence of knowing your past would become a burden along your future?"
" YES! "
Maybe I provoked her too much. I snorted with heavy heart. I was sorry, Maron. I would trouble you soon because of your daughter eagerness and me. " Would you come with me? "
I kept my speed with her. Her solemn face made me heart twisted. I loved her too much that wouldn't return. I missed my Fin. Our love died by time. I walked the stairs up to the roof. The droplets of diamond rain hit my face and trickled from my grim face like tears. The darkness reigned over the world. Even the noon was like a night without winking, glittering stars.
" Not all of the truth is nice. Mostly it brings pain and hatred. Still why you wish for it, Natsuki? " She watched me with amazed. It wasn't like me to speak poetic. I could see no doubt in her emerald eyes.
" Because the unknowing past could change me on some way. I..I somehow felt that I missed something that was important in my past. I just had to know. Please, I could take care the consequence by my own. "
I smiled weakly. Her implored eyes killed my heart slowly. " Then you shall the miracle for your belief. " I raised my hands, encountered the falling drop of rain to purify myself.
" Shinji-chan?" She looked startled.
" Please be silence. " I closed my eyes and prayed for Holy power upon me.
// Kami-sama, I am ready...to be your messenger. Please grant me the power to help the one I loved. //
* I have waited. Use this Holy Power once again to save someone that was dear to you, the black angel, Access Time. *
A sudden light blanketed me and gave me such warmth and pain. I could hear the scream of Natsuki.
// Natsuki, this is the truth that you wish to know. //
A very bright light from the roof covered the hospital. Every person watched with amazement and opened jaw. The miracle had occurred on the hospital. I was blackened out for a while with such glowing power that struck me mercilessly. Then the light died out slowly, leaving me with the pair of white wings on my back.
I was in endeavor to sit up while Natsuki took steps backward. The cold rain still fell endlessly, wetting my amethyst feet length hair. I was cladding the kimono dress with a beautiful purple jewel on my forehead.
I was a vice-angel again with the help of Kami-sama. With the power that I obtained just now, I should be able to save Chiaki. But first, I should tell anything about truth to Natsuki. I watched her with tedious look.
I could see fear inside Natsuki's emerald eyes. I could see my angel form on her glassy eyes. With soft voice I tried to calm her. " This...is the truth that you wish to know, Fin Fish."
She blinked at me with curious and doubt. " You...are Shinji-chan? Why you are in my dream? "
" Not Shinji. I am Access. Access Time, the black angel. I am reincarnated into Minazuki Shinji, for Fin. And you are the reincarnation of Fin, the banished angel. "
" No, it couldn't be possible.."
" You are the one who would like to know. Please be strong. "
" You were once an angel that stayed with Maron like her family. And Maron is.. the reincarnation of Jeanne d' Arc. Do you remember the articles about Jeanne's theft in the past? She is Maron. "
" In order to seal the demon, she changed to Jeanne and stole the things that possessed with demon with your help." I stopped for a while, waiting for her reaction. She was too shock to comment, so I continued to tell the truth. I should be hurry as time passed faster for Chiaki.
" And Chiaki is Sindbad, the rival of Jeanne and the one who sealed the demon. He worked as partner...with me. You made an unforgivable sin that made you being banished from Heaven. "
" Then you worked for demon to survive. But Maron's love for you made you realize and turned your back on demon. You died in order to protect Maron, your present mother. And you got reincarnated as her daughter now. That's all. "
I felt sorry for her. I really didn't want her to remember her ordeal. She was too persistent to give up. I mourned for my retelling story too. I didn't tell her everything. Our love in the past was no longer important for now. It would be a burden for her in love affair. I didn't wish to chain her with forgotten love.
Suddenly I could feel the dying aura of Chiaki. He had no time longer. I flied passed the stunned girl. She snapped out of her mind and pursued me. With the wings on my back, no one could see me. They would think of me as a gust of wind.
I entered Chiaki's room gracefully. The awake Maron watched me with surprised. " A...Access? Am I imagining thing? " She rubbed her eyes that were red with tears. I smiled relaxingly. " You're not, Jeanne. "
I walked toward Chiaki's weak body while Maron asked me. " What has happened? Why do you become like this? "
I placed my hand on the blue head's forehead and wielded the blessing Holy Power that I received just now. A soft vague light emerged from my palm, waning the half dark room.
" I'm sorry, Jeanne. I couldn't keep the secret of Fin's past to Natsuki. I just confided her. " Trying to keep my sadness aside, I spoke the message to Maron.
" Jeanne, no, Maron, could you tell this to Miyako? " I gazed at my dear mother. Her innocent sleeping form would remain inside my memory forever. I would miss my happy human life and her angry voice.
" Please tell her that I said sorry for leaving her. For not able to become her son anymore. " I could feel hot tears welled inside my eyes, waiting the proper time to spill out. She looked in fear and anxious.
" What are you talking about?! Why should you leave her? I couldn't tell her like this! ' Your son returned into angel and went back to Heaven.' How could I say that?! Her beloved son transformed back into an angel, couldn't you understand what she might come through later?"
" I have no choice, neither you are. If I don't do this, Chiaki would die. If you were on my place, what would you do? "
She stopped protesting. On the exchange, she cried quietly. Tears fell down like a limitless river. Just the second I had done with Chiaki, Natsuki came into the room. She panted heavily and grabbed my kimono's collar.
" Tell me, where is Shinji-chan?! Are you hiding him? "
" I told you. I am Shinji, but also Access." My jaded voice was almost inaudible. The healing progress really took all of my energy. I was too tired to speak or move.
" I don't believe you!! Give Shinji back! " She screamed that echoed inside the room. Her tears also fell and cried with her mother. Their sobbing voice hurt me. Then Maron helped me. She tapped her daughter's shoulder fondly.
" He tells the truth. He is Shinji, but also Access. "
" No.."
Then a growled sound melted the tense atmosphere. I saw him, the ex- Sindbad, tried to sit up on his bed. Maron's eyes soon filled with love and happiness. Natsuki saw her father with a subtle cheerful one. This family situation made me delighted. We were too long in a foul season. Soon we'll embrace the warm period, except me maybe.
I glimpsed on them for second then limped to the front door. I had to support myself by holding my arm. I lingered in my position when Natsuki called my name.
" Please wait. I don't care whether you are Shinji-chan or Access. I would say thank you. And..please stay.."
I gazed on her. We shared the same look. Sadness, grief, longing, hope and mourning that mixed into one. " I couldn't. That is my sacrifice. I have given up my human life to save him. " Then I spread my wings and flied to the exit way. I chose roof though.
Without much power left, I returned where I should belong. Raindrops and tears fell from my face while I was flying beyond the sky. I could hear the shrill shouting voice of a girl that I loved so much played inside my ear. Without looking back, I replayed her beauty face inside my head. The pain thrust me like thousand sharp knives stabbed my heart.
" SHINJIII!!!"
// I am more in pain than the fallen angel. No one could save me but her. But I couldn't at her side, neither see her. Maybe it is something that called heartbroken. Maybe an angel could die once again. Maybe..
Ugh, how sad..But still review please. I wish I could get two review at least. I wish..Wow, it is tiring. This chapter is long enough.