Disclaimer: I don't own those little cute angels in KKJ!? How fate could be
so cruel?
A/N: There is the next chappie! Luckily I am too obsessed to Access and Fin (Is it Fin or Finn? ). I would still continue it whether I only get one review! Sob sob...Still thanks to Aiko for your reply. Hey, I wanna read your sister' fic. When would she continue the story?
By Irisgem
The solid darkness...
I was alone when he wasn't here.
Shinji-chan, where are you?
Suddenly the strong arm pulled me back. I couldn't resist the power and glanced on my visitor. I could see the young lad that was older than me two years with a girl on his side. His horrified eyes were on me.
" NATSUKI!! Watch out!"
Suddenly I saw a high-speed car passed in front of me. I huffed heavily with fear. I almost die if I just took another step forward. I fell helplessly on the side of the crowd road. The driver shouted with anger in his voice by the window of his car. Toki just glared on him and came toward me.
" Natsuki! You should be more careful. What's wrong with you?! "
" Yes, since yesterday, you mostly spent your time losing your thought on somewhere place. You would slip your grade if you keep go on like this. " Celcia continued her brother advice. But their voice didn't really touch my heart. In foul time like this, there was only one person who could return me to the real me.
He was mostly succeeding on cheering me when I was down. His foolish smile was like a good medicine to make me laugh and forget my hardship. His embrace was so warm and comforting. I usually rejected his affection because he scared me. He made me realized how weak I was. How I was so depending on other.
I just wanted to pretend strong so I could exceed anything by my own, but it wasn't like that. I ended up running away with wounded lonely heart. I just couldn't confront anything by my own, but I also didn't wasn't to talk about it to others. I bottled up all of my feeling and pretended not to know.
But he always could see me through and felt how weak I was and how much I needed someone who could understand my feeling without speaking it out loud. There were so many boys who asked me out and said as if they knew me that much.
At first I believed their words, but then the result was the opposite. They pretended to know and acted so sweet only in front of my face. But I was so similar like them. I also gave a fake smile even I didn't want to smile.
But Shinji-chan was always honest on speaking his feeling. That feature of him was the reason that he had a lot of friends because they also could feel the genuine warm of friendship near to him. I also got affected to him. When he was at my side, it seemed I could act like the real 'me '.
He spoke what his heart told him to. He was grumbled when he was going to protest. He laughed so freely when he was really happy. Some teacher may hate his behavior but some of them liked him very much. His jovial feature mostly cherished the gloomy day. He also knew how to lift up the saddened spirit. Talking with him was more fun to fill your boring day. You only needed a cup of tea to get your happy days.
He didn't have fans of girls as much as Miwari-kun, who got chocolates and a bunch love letters, which filled his locker to its maximum capacity. But I knew that the girls preferred to talk with Shinji-kun. They didn't envelope such a love relation but simple friendship. His cute respond and blush made you felt tickling inside to see such a face.
Miwari-kun was so cool, handsome and smart. His sport was also good. ( Though not as good as Shinji-chan, who had an endless spirit ) There was no doubt that he would be so fame. He was also polite and kind to all girls and boys. But then it was only a formality, wasn't it? I never saw the real Miwari-kun before.
I just got more confused with my feeling. Somehow when I thought about Miwari-kun, it was felt so far from 'love'. But then what it was called? And when I was reminded of Shinji-chan, me heart ached as if I was going to faint. Wasn't it clear enough for me or I was just pretending not knowing the truth?
" Natsuki? "
" Ahh, yes? " I drowned on my dreamy thought again. I should snap out of this.
" The school is over here. " Celcia warned me as I kept walking pass the building. I flustered and ran to the front gate. They looked at me worriedly. I just passed them as if nothing happened.
" Are you still worried about Shinji-chan? " I stopped my track and lingered on the exact position. Celcia's word made me surprised. Was I that clear to be read easily like an open book?
Toki lowered his head and didn't look at me. We shunned any contact of eyes each other. I tried to keep my dignity but failed with the pain in my heart. I didn't dare to look at their jaded face.
" Yes. "
She smiled as pure as the angel and tapped my shoulder. " Don't worry. He would be home soon. He is just away for a while. Maybe he wants time for himself for a while. " They just didn't know the real reason. Shinji-chan wouldn't go home. He just couldn't return. He was now Access. Access Time, the black angel of God's messenger. He didn't belong to this world anymore. His place was the limitless marine sky to Heaven.
Then I saw a white dove, flying away my head. The fluttering wings...I almost shed another tears. The flash of memory played once more time in my head. I just couldn't count how many times I missed him already. I shook my head and went inside the buildings as the bell rang loudly.
" Natsuki.."
The lunch break had come. I tried to avoid on meeting my best friends and Miwari-kun. Staying alone on the roof might a quite help. The feeling of grace winds made me felt emptier because he was so gentle and always blew like the southern wind.
A sudden blast of breeze messed my lime hair and I closed my eyes as the wind hurt my eyes. Then I could hear whisper. The voice of him echoed inside my ears. Then it was gone. I was thinking it was my imagination when I heard sound vaguely but genuine sound.
" Natsuki..."
I jolted and tried to find him around me. " Shinji-chan? It is you, right? Please answer me! Shinji-chan?!! "
The rustling green trees waved slowly and flickered by the direction of blowing gust. I got frustrated. I didn't hear anything. I just wanted to see him. So please...Burying my face on my ivory hand, I let diamonds of tears that were held forcedly fell from my emerald eyes.
This time I could feel the strong arms that embraced me tightly like a misty image from behind. I turned my face to see anyone behind. There was no one but I still felt the embrace and whispers.
" Natsuki..."
" You're Shinji, ne? Why don't you come out? Shinji-chan, I miss you. "
Suddenly the hug was loosened. I was getting afraid that he would leave me again. I tried to reach out for his hand back.
" Shinji!? "
* I couldn't stay at your side anymore...*
" Why? I would hate you if you say that again. "
* I'm sorry, Finn, no, Natsuki..I can't go from here. *
I got confused. Why Kami-sama didn't let him to Earth? Was He going to keep him as His messenger forever?! " Why? It's not fair if Kami-sama keeps you for His creation and mission. He has a lot of other Angels to assist him. Why should you? "
* It isn't Kami-sama. I can't say it. Please be strong, Natsuki, like what your mother has passed her ordeal. And also I..*
His voice faded with another gusty spring wind. I was so happy to hear his voice again. Maybe I could meet him someday. Maybe..I had to be strong like I always did. I hummed calmly to my class. Now I wouldn't lie to myself anymore. I had found the real wish.
" Natsuki! Finally we find you. Where are you? " Celcia shouted from far corridor. I waved them back and smiled widely.
" I'm sorry. I went to toilet before! " I lied to them. Well, they wouldn't believe the event just now though I told them. They would think that I was ill or missed Shinji-chan too much that I started imagining things.
This time I would not in doubt anymore.
I love Shinji, no matter he was.
Àccess' POV
I felt the darkness. There was nothing beside black surroundings and me. Probably I was in my own thought. I had tried to contact Natsuki-chan, but failed. There was nothing left on my power to wield it once more time. The consuming dark fed on my Holy power. I grew weaker and weaker. It would surely mean instant death if the power went zero.
I didn't know where I stood when suddenly I could see her in vague image. I didn't skip the chance I had to speak with her. I didn't care if this was my last chance. I just needed to hear her soft voice that filled my heart enough. Her image occupied my mind completely until nothing could substitute her.
" Natsuki.."
It didn't long before I lost the link. I hadn't said sorry yet for make her worried. ( If she was worried. * sigh *) Suddenly there was a force to make me opened my lids. I was too tired to be bothered. Why that devil couldn't leave me alone? He tortured me more than enough. What was his attention?
My face was lifted by single forefinger. I woke up with the Devil-sama in front of my face. I had enough of his face as I went to boredom. My dull amethyst orbs were half-opened when I heard a mocking laugh.
" Do you enjoy my gift? Don't you love to see her again? "
A sudden truth struck me. So it was his doing. Why didn't he give up? Was he trying to make me missed Natsuki that I would vow an eternal devotion to him?
" Oh, you are so smart, aren't you? " He smiled mischievously. A cold fear went through my vines. I just hated this feeling. He sickened me more than anything.He So he was reading my mind, how disgrace of him.
" You won't succeed. Even I miss her so much, I won't devote to devil. Finn was hurt because she should lie to her own feeling. She pushed herself to fill her pure heart with sin and hatred. I would not do the same thing. "
" You seemed to accuse me for something that I haven't done. " He lifted my chin and stared me directly. " The reason for her to betray Kami-sama is to meet you. And you couldn't realize it before. She lied to herself because she couldn't speak the truth while you were closing your heart to listen. "
" I didn't!! " I shouted with anger. I tried to understand but....I couldn't. Was it my fault? Did I make Finn suffer that much? Was it all because of me?
Yes, she did betray Kami-sama though she didn't want to do it because she would like to listen my words; because I made her promise with me, because she loved me when I didn't realize it with my very eyes. All I could see were her rejections and didn't understand something behind her lies.
I made her to be a devil. I was even more unforgivable than her sin before in Heaven. I changed an angel to a devil while she killed a human to defend herself. I became to blame everything on myself.
" See what I say? You pretend not see all time. " He got closer and touched my smooth face skin. I didn't stop him from doing so. I drowned too deep to my agony thought to feel and reply.
This time surely I couldn't see her again. I mourned for all of my faults to her. I said the harsh words for telling her to be a fool angel for willingly offered her devotion to devil, when I was the reason for her to change her direction. I was so cruel to be angel. I didn't deserve such a Holy things.
* Shinji...*
Her gentle voice snapped me out. I slapped the hand on my face. " Don't touch me with your dirty hand. " I threatened warningly and glared. My fang appeared when I growled. He took his red hurt hand and smiled evilly.
" What makes you change your mind? "
" You're right that I am so heartless that she become a devil because of a simple promise. But I couldn't forgive myself just by running away. Now there is no longer Finn. But there is Natsuki. Nagoya Natsuki. So I promise not to make her crying this time. I would keep her happiness in this life. And I couldn't give her anything if I become the Fallen Angel. That's the reason. "
His expression changed franticly into the cruel and cold one. He was no longer smile. His face was hardened and stared icily. His grimace face quailed me. I was trying to move back when his right hand rose to the high- tension air.
He hit me hard on my cheek that the slapping sound deafened my like fairy ears. I freeze for a while. A sudden move would hurt my head so much as if there were thousands of bells rang in the same time.
A trickle of blood flew from my lips, stained my black fashioned cloth. I didn't do anything about the blood as my hands were chained. I couldn't move my hand further than my hand to cold floor.
I choked a bit with the bitter taste of my blood on my tongue. He waved the tangled my shining purple long hair and kissed it on some way. I watched him intently as my heartbeat was faster. Then he moved my hair inside his grasp behind my ear gently. He closed the proximity between us and whispered under his breath.
" I wonder how much power do you store inside this pretty long hair. "
My eyes widened with fear. He took his sword suddenly from behind his body. He didn't give me time to realize what was actually happened when he cut my hair. The scattered hairs dirtied the floor and glowed with a dimmed light.
I watched them helplessly. I didn't really care about the length of my hair. I had my hair short enough as Shinji. But what made me in agony was he stole all of my leftover power. I would never able to flap my wings anymore to the blue sky. The remaining energy was just enough to make me still alive. I was so useless now.
He obtained all the stolen power and saved it as his. He laughed freely with glimmering light that emitted from his body. Then he left me in this forlorn darkness.
Was this the punishment for me for my sin?
Without even able to meet her again
I had to stay here forever without any consolation
I would go insane in an ephemeral period.
Without knowing how much times had elapsed
I still could not be united
With the white angel of Kami-sama
Were we really not fated to be together?
Another is done! I'm so marvelous, AHAHAHA!! (goes nuts) I appraised my self since there is no one who appraises me. Not much review either, so REVIEW PLEASE!
A/N: There is the next chappie! Luckily I am too obsessed to Access and Fin (Is it Fin or Finn? ). I would still continue it whether I only get one review! Sob sob...Still thanks to Aiko for your reply. Hey, I wanna read your sister' fic. When would she continue the story?
By Irisgem
The solid darkness...
I was alone when he wasn't here.
Shinji-chan, where are you?
Suddenly the strong arm pulled me back. I couldn't resist the power and glanced on my visitor. I could see the young lad that was older than me two years with a girl on his side. His horrified eyes were on me.
" NATSUKI!! Watch out!"
Suddenly I saw a high-speed car passed in front of me. I huffed heavily with fear. I almost die if I just took another step forward. I fell helplessly on the side of the crowd road. The driver shouted with anger in his voice by the window of his car. Toki just glared on him and came toward me.
" Natsuki! You should be more careful. What's wrong with you?! "
" Yes, since yesterday, you mostly spent your time losing your thought on somewhere place. You would slip your grade if you keep go on like this. " Celcia continued her brother advice. But their voice didn't really touch my heart. In foul time like this, there was only one person who could return me to the real me.
He was mostly succeeding on cheering me when I was down. His foolish smile was like a good medicine to make me laugh and forget my hardship. His embrace was so warm and comforting. I usually rejected his affection because he scared me. He made me realized how weak I was. How I was so depending on other.
I just wanted to pretend strong so I could exceed anything by my own, but it wasn't like that. I ended up running away with wounded lonely heart. I just couldn't confront anything by my own, but I also didn't wasn't to talk about it to others. I bottled up all of my feeling and pretended not to know.
But he always could see me through and felt how weak I was and how much I needed someone who could understand my feeling without speaking it out loud. There were so many boys who asked me out and said as if they knew me that much.
At first I believed their words, but then the result was the opposite. They pretended to know and acted so sweet only in front of my face. But I was so similar like them. I also gave a fake smile even I didn't want to smile.
But Shinji-chan was always honest on speaking his feeling. That feature of him was the reason that he had a lot of friends because they also could feel the genuine warm of friendship near to him. I also got affected to him. When he was at my side, it seemed I could act like the real 'me '.
He spoke what his heart told him to. He was grumbled when he was going to protest. He laughed so freely when he was really happy. Some teacher may hate his behavior but some of them liked him very much. His jovial feature mostly cherished the gloomy day. He also knew how to lift up the saddened spirit. Talking with him was more fun to fill your boring day. You only needed a cup of tea to get your happy days.
He didn't have fans of girls as much as Miwari-kun, who got chocolates and a bunch love letters, which filled his locker to its maximum capacity. But I knew that the girls preferred to talk with Shinji-kun. They didn't envelope such a love relation but simple friendship. His cute respond and blush made you felt tickling inside to see such a face.
Miwari-kun was so cool, handsome and smart. His sport was also good. ( Though not as good as Shinji-chan, who had an endless spirit ) There was no doubt that he would be so fame. He was also polite and kind to all girls and boys. But then it was only a formality, wasn't it? I never saw the real Miwari-kun before.
I just got more confused with my feeling. Somehow when I thought about Miwari-kun, it was felt so far from 'love'. But then what it was called? And when I was reminded of Shinji-chan, me heart ached as if I was going to faint. Wasn't it clear enough for me or I was just pretending not knowing the truth?
" Natsuki? "
" Ahh, yes? " I drowned on my dreamy thought again. I should snap out of this.
" The school is over here. " Celcia warned me as I kept walking pass the building. I flustered and ran to the front gate. They looked at me worriedly. I just passed them as if nothing happened.
" Are you still worried about Shinji-chan? " I stopped my track and lingered on the exact position. Celcia's word made me surprised. Was I that clear to be read easily like an open book?
Toki lowered his head and didn't look at me. We shunned any contact of eyes each other. I tried to keep my dignity but failed with the pain in my heart. I didn't dare to look at their jaded face.
" Yes. "
She smiled as pure as the angel and tapped my shoulder. " Don't worry. He would be home soon. He is just away for a while. Maybe he wants time for himself for a while. " They just didn't know the real reason. Shinji-chan wouldn't go home. He just couldn't return. He was now Access. Access Time, the black angel of God's messenger. He didn't belong to this world anymore. His place was the limitless marine sky to Heaven.
Then I saw a white dove, flying away my head. The fluttering wings...I almost shed another tears. The flash of memory played once more time in my head. I just couldn't count how many times I missed him already. I shook my head and went inside the buildings as the bell rang loudly.
" Natsuki.."
The lunch break had come. I tried to avoid on meeting my best friends and Miwari-kun. Staying alone on the roof might a quite help. The feeling of grace winds made me felt emptier because he was so gentle and always blew like the southern wind.
A sudden blast of breeze messed my lime hair and I closed my eyes as the wind hurt my eyes. Then I could hear whisper. The voice of him echoed inside my ears. Then it was gone. I was thinking it was my imagination when I heard sound vaguely but genuine sound.
" Natsuki..."
I jolted and tried to find him around me. " Shinji-chan? It is you, right? Please answer me! Shinji-chan?!! "
The rustling green trees waved slowly and flickered by the direction of blowing gust. I got frustrated. I didn't hear anything. I just wanted to see him. So please...Burying my face on my ivory hand, I let diamonds of tears that were held forcedly fell from my emerald eyes.
This time I could feel the strong arms that embraced me tightly like a misty image from behind. I turned my face to see anyone behind. There was no one but I still felt the embrace and whispers.
" Natsuki..."
" You're Shinji, ne? Why don't you come out? Shinji-chan, I miss you. "
Suddenly the hug was loosened. I was getting afraid that he would leave me again. I tried to reach out for his hand back.
" Shinji!? "
* I couldn't stay at your side anymore...*
" Why? I would hate you if you say that again. "
* I'm sorry, Finn, no, Natsuki..I can't go from here. *
I got confused. Why Kami-sama didn't let him to Earth? Was He going to keep him as His messenger forever?! " Why? It's not fair if Kami-sama keeps you for His creation and mission. He has a lot of other Angels to assist him. Why should you? "
* It isn't Kami-sama. I can't say it. Please be strong, Natsuki, like what your mother has passed her ordeal. And also I..*
His voice faded with another gusty spring wind. I was so happy to hear his voice again. Maybe I could meet him someday. Maybe..I had to be strong like I always did. I hummed calmly to my class. Now I wouldn't lie to myself anymore. I had found the real wish.
" Natsuki! Finally we find you. Where are you? " Celcia shouted from far corridor. I waved them back and smiled widely.
" I'm sorry. I went to toilet before! " I lied to them. Well, they wouldn't believe the event just now though I told them. They would think that I was ill or missed Shinji-chan too much that I started imagining things.
This time I would not in doubt anymore.
I love Shinji, no matter he was.
Àccess' POV
I felt the darkness. There was nothing beside black surroundings and me. Probably I was in my own thought. I had tried to contact Natsuki-chan, but failed. There was nothing left on my power to wield it once more time. The consuming dark fed on my Holy power. I grew weaker and weaker. It would surely mean instant death if the power went zero.
I didn't know where I stood when suddenly I could see her in vague image. I didn't skip the chance I had to speak with her. I didn't care if this was my last chance. I just needed to hear her soft voice that filled my heart enough. Her image occupied my mind completely until nothing could substitute her.
" Natsuki.."
It didn't long before I lost the link. I hadn't said sorry yet for make her worried. ( If she was worried. * sigh *) Suddenly there was a force to make me opened my lids. I was too tired to be bothered. Why that devil couldn't leave me alone? He tortured me more than enough. What was his attention?
My face was lifted by single forefinger. I woke up with the Devil-sama in front of my face. I had enough of his face as I went to boredom. My dull amethyst orbs were half-opened when I heard a mocking laugh.
" Do you enjoy my gift? Don't you love to see her again? "
A sudden truth struck me. So it was his doing. Why didn't he give up? Was he trying to make me missed Natsuki that I would vow an eternal devotion to him?
" Oh, you are so smart, aren't you? " He smiled mischievously. A cold fear went through my vines. I just hated this feeling. He sickened me more than anything.He So he was reading my mind, how disgrace of him.
" You won't succeed. Even I miss her so much, I won't devote to devil. Finn was hurt because she should lie to her own feeling. She pushed herself to fill her pure heart with sin and hatred. I would not do the same thing. "
" You seemed to accuse me for something that I haven't done. " He lifted my chin and stared me directly. " The reason for her to betray Kami-sama is to meet you. And you couldn't realize it before. She lied to herself because she couldn't speak the truth while you were closing your heart to listen. "
" I didn't!! " I shouted with anger. I tried to understand but....I couldn't. Was it my fault? Did I make Finn suffer that much? Was it all because of me?
Yes, she did betray Kami-sama though she didn't want to do it because she would like to listen my words; because I made her promise with me, because she loved me when I didn't realize it with my very eyes. All I could see were her rejections and didn't understand something behind her lies.
I made her to be a devil. I was even more unforgivable than her sin before in Heaven. I changed an angel to a devil while she killed a human to defend herself. I became to blame everything on myself.
" See what I say? You pretend not see all time. " He got closer and touched my smooth face skin. I didn't stop him from doing so. I drowned too deep to my agony thought to feel and reply.
This time surely I couldn't see her again. I mourned for all of my faults to her. I said the harsh words for telling her to be a fool angel for willingly offered her devotion to devil, when I was the reason for her to change her direction. I was so cruel to be angel. I didn't deserve such a Holy things.
* Shinji...*
Her gentle voice snapped me out. I slapped the hand on my face. " Don't touch me with your dirty hand. " I threatened warningly and glared. My fang appeared when I growled. He took his red hurt hand and smiled evilly.
" What makes you change your mind? "
" You're right that I am so heartless that she become a devil because of a simple promise. But I couldn't forgive myself just by running away. Now there is no longer Finn. But there is Natsuki. Nagoya Natsuki. So I promise not to make her crying this time. I would keep her happiness in this life. And I couldn't give her anything if I become the Fallen Angel. That's the reason. "
His expression changed franticly into the cruel and cold one. He was no longer smile. His face was hardened and stared icily. His grimace face quailed me. I was trying to move back when his right hand rose to the high- tension air.
He hit me hard on my cheek that the slapping sound deafened my like fairy ears. I freeze for a while. A sudden move would hurt my head so much as if there were thousands of bells rang in the same time.
A trickle of blood flew from my lips, stained my black fashioned cloth. I didn't do anything about the blood as my hands were chained. I couldn't move my hand further than my hand to cold floor.
I choked a bit with the bitter taste of my blood on my tongue. He waved the tangled my shining purple long hair and kissed it on some way. I watched him intently as my heartbeat was faster. Then he moved my hair inside his grasp behind my ear gently. He closed the proximity between us and whispered under his breath.
" I wonder how much power do you store inside this pretty long hair. "
My eyes widened with fear. He took his sword suddenly from behind his body. He didn't give me time to realize what was actually happened when he cut my hair. The scattered hairs dirtied the floor and glowed with a dimmed light.
I watched them helplessly. I didn't really care about the length of my hair. I had my hair short enough as Shinji. But what made me in agony was he stole all of my leftover power. I would never able to flap my wings anymore to the blue sky. The remaining energy was just enough to make me still alive. I was so useless now.
He obtained all the stolen power and saved it as his. He laughed freely with glimmering light that emitted from his body. Then he left me in this forlorn darkness.
Was this the punishment for me for my sin?
Without even able to meet her again
I had to stay here forever without any consolation
I would go insane in an ephemeral period.
Without knowing how much times had elapsed
I still could not be united
With the white angel of Kami-sama
Were we really not fated to be together?
Another is done! I'm so marvelous, AHAHAHA!! (goes nuts) I appraised my self since there is no one who appraises me. Not much review either, so REVIEW PLEASE!