Disclaimer: I do not own Dragonball Z or GT or any of the characters in those series, and I don't own 'Good Charlotte' or their song Emotionless. I heard it and thought it would make a nice song fic to one of the characters in DBZ.
Have you ever felt abandoned? Like no one cares, and you are alone to face the sheer emptiness of it all? Well, that is what I felt when I wrote this. I put my pain in Goten's situation. It was already set up. Neither of my parents actually left me, but the way they talk to me makes me feel like they don't care about my feelings. For this story we are going to imagine that GT never happened, this is an alternate universe about how Goten became a different person when he suddenly realized he no longer had a father. Enjoy the song fic and feel the pain of being Emotionless.
Emotionless
Goten was devastated after his father left. Goku went off to train Uub and it hit him very hard. Goten had started to change. He became rebellious and developed an attitude. One day, the boy was listening to the radio and heard the band 'Good Charlotte'. He decided he liked this band and bought their latest CD. As he was flipping through the songs one by one he came to number 13. Hearing this song had brought back forgotten memories and opened old wounds. He turned the cover over and looked at the back. The song was entitled, Emotionless.
(A/N: Words to the song are symbolized with * asterisks and when someone talks it is indicated with "" quotation marks.)
Goten's POV-
*Hey dad,
I'm writing to you.
Not to tell you that I still hate you
Just to ask you how you feel
And how we fell apart
How this fell apart.*
I sit in the dark room with no light… thinking. Maybe I should write him and ask what's going on. I can't help but feel he doesn't want me anymore. I wonder what he would do if I just wrote him a letter telling him what I think.
*Are you happy out there in this great wide world?
Do you think about your sons?
Do you miss your little girl?
When you lay your head down, how do you sleep at night?
Do you even wonder if we're all right?*
What was he thinking when he left us? Does he even care I, or Gohan, or even Pan exist? He hardly even said "good-bye". I don't know how he can possibly sleep with that kind of guilt, or, does the guilt affect him at all?
*But we're all right, we're all right
It's been a long hard road without you by my side
Why weren't you there on the nights that we cried?
You broke my mother's heart you broke your children for life
It's not OK but we're alright.*
I guess I'm all right but only without him. I have had to provide for myself and my mother. She didn't take it well either. For many nights all she did was cry. I wept alongside with her a lot and so did Gohan, and Pan sometimes joined us.
*I remember the days you were a hero in my eyes but those are just a long lost memory of mine.
I spent so many years learning how to survive.
Now I'm writing just to let you know I'm still alive. *
He was once an amazing man to me. He saved the universe at least three times, died twice and came back, and achieved super saiyan. He was the first one in a thousand years to reach super saiyan. Then he just… disappeared. He left us all to train one boy and acted as if he didn't care about leaving his life, his family,… me. I know it seems selfish, but I was only 17 when he left, still a child. Does he even know… or care… if I still live?
*The days I spent so, cold so hungry, were full of hate.
I was so angry.
The scars run deep inside this tattooed body
There's things I'll take to my grave.
But I'm OK, I'm OK.*
We became so poor that some nights we went without heat. Other nights we didn't have much food. However, much of the time I wasn't hungry for the items you put in your mouth for energy. I was hungry to see my father again. In fact, I was so not-hungry I didn't even try to fight the emptiness anymore. I just stopped eating sometimes. Can you imagine that? A saiyan not eating or even feeling the need for food.
I have fought so many battles for Earth. I had to start fighting when I was only seven years old. They dragged me and Trunks into the fight because they thought we were their last hope. We fought against Brolly too. I never even saw my father until I was seven years old. And I had to be brought in to a fight that I didn't know anything about and forced to learn a new technique in just a few short days. I even saw my mom killed before my very eyes, something a child should never have to witness. Even though we could bring her back with the dragonballs, she still died in front of her child's eyes. Who wants to see that, no matter the circumstance?
I have changed immensely since the last time he saw me. I have the same black shaggy hair as that time. I have discovered that I am very much a masochist. I find it very enjoyable to just take a knife and slide it right across the flesh and muscle, then taste the fresh blood from the open wound. Various places I have piercings, my ears, my tongue, my eyebrow the list goes on. My wardrobe consists of mostly black and a little red. I have become Gothic and accumulated many tattoos. I don't even know why I got the tattoos. Perhaps to try and cover up the internal scars that only I can see. It hardly worked.
*It's been a long hard road without you by my side.
Why weren't you there all the nights that we cried?
You broke my mother's heart, you broke your children for life.
It's not OK, but we're all right.
I remember the days you were a hero in my eyes.
But those are just a long lost memory of mine.
Now I'm writing just to let you know I'm still alive, yeah I'm still alive.
Sometimes I forgive.
Yeah and this time, I'll admit,
That I miss you, said I miss you.*
I don't think I can forgive him for what he's done. Why can't the memories come back and be real again? I want those days back. I want my hero back, I want my dad back. "Alright, I'll admit it, I miss you." I say aloud. I can feel the hot tears welling up in my bloodshot eyes. "I miss you." I say again, softer, as the tears start falling in rivets down my pale skin.
*It's been a long hard road without you by my side.
Why weren't you there on the nights that we cried?
You broke my mother's heart, you broke your children for life.
It's not OK, but we're all right.
I remember the days you were a hero in my eyes but those are just a long lost memory of mine.
Now I'm writing just to let you know I'm still alive.
And sometimes I forgive.
Yeah, this time I'll admit,
That I miss you.
I miss you.
Hey dad.*
I grab a pen and paper and begin to write,
Hey dad,…
Have you ever felt abandoned? Like no one cares, and you are alone to face the sheer emptiness of it all? Well, that is what I felt when I wrote this. I put my pain in Goten's situation. It was already set up. Neither of my parents actually left me, but the way they talk to me makes me feel like they don't care about my feelings. For this story we are going to imagine that GT never happened, this is an alternate universe about how Goten became a different person when he suddenly realized he no longer had a father. Enjoy the song fic and feel the pain of being Emotionless.
Emotionless
Goten was devastated after his father left. Goku went off to train Uub and it hit him very hard. Goten had started to change. He became rebellious and developed an attitude. One day, the boy was listening to the radio and heard the band 'Good Charlotte'. He decided he liked this band and bought their latest CD. As he was flipping through the songs one by one he came to number 13. Hearing this song had brought back forgotten memories and opened old wounds. He turned the cover over and looked at the back. The song was entitled, Emotionless.
(A/N: Words to the song are symbolized with * asterisks and when someone talks it is indicated with "" quotation marks.)
Goten's POV-
*Hey dad,
I'm writing to you.
Not to tell you that I still hate you
Just to ask you how you feel
And how we fell apart
How this fell apart.*
I sit in the dark room with no light… thinking. Maybe I should write him and ask what's going on. I can't help but feel he doesn't want me anymore. I wonder what he would do if I just wrote him a letter telling him what I think.
*Are you happy out there in this great wide world?
Do you think about your sons?
Do you miss your little girl?
When you lay your head down, how do you sleep at night?
Do you even wonder if we're all right?*
What was he thinking when he left us? Does he even care I, or Gohan, or even Pan exist? He hardly even said "good-bye". I don't know how he can possibly sleep with that kind of guilt, or, does the guilt affect him at all?
*But we're all right, we're all right
It's been a long hard road without you by my side
Why weren't you there on the nights that we cried?
You broke my mother's heart you broke your children for life
It's not OK but we're alright.*
I guess I'm all right but only without him. I have had to provide for myself and my mother. She didn't take it well either. For many nights all she did was cry. I wept alongside with her a lot and so did Gohan, and Pan sometimes joined us.
*I remember the days you were a hero in my eyes but those are just a long lost memory of mine.
I spent so many years learning how to survive.
Now I'm writing just to let you know I'm still alive. *
He was once an amazing man to me. He saved the universe at least three times, died twice and came back, and achieved super saiyan. He was the first one in a thousand years to reach super saiyan. Then he just… disappeared. He left us all to train one boy and acted as if he didn't care about leaving his life, his family,… me. I know it seems selfish, but I was only 17 when he left, still a child. Does he even know… or care… if I still live?
*The days I spent so, cold so hungry, were full of hate.
I was so angry.
The scars run deep inside this tattooed body
There's things I'll take to my grave.
But I'm OK, I'm OK.*
We became so poor that some nights we went without heat. Other nights we didn't have much food. However, much of the time I wasn't hungry for the items you put in your mouth for energy. I was hungry to see my father again. In fact, I was so not-hungry I didn't even try to fight the emptiness anymore. I just stopped eating sometimes. Can you imagine that? A saiyan not eating or even feeling the need for food.
I have fought so many battles for Earth. I had to start fighting when I was only seven years old. They dragged me and Trunks into the fight because they thought we were their last hope. We fought against Brolly too. I never even saw my father until I was seven years old. And I had to be brought in to a fight that I didn't know anything about and forced to learn a new technique in just a few short days. I even saw my mom killed before my very eyes, something a child should never have to witness. Even though we could bring her back with the dragonballs, she still died in front of her child's eyes. Who wants to see that, no matter the circumstance?
I have changed immensely since the last time he saw me. I have the same black shaggy hair as that time. I have discovered that I am very much a masochist. I find it very enjoyable to just take a knife and slide it right across the flesh and muscle, then taste the fresh blood from the open wound. Various places I have piercings, my ears, my tongue, my eyebrow the list goes on. My wardrobe consists of mostly black and a little red. I have become Gothic and accumulated many tattoos. I don't even know why I got the tattoos. Perhaps to try and cover up the internal scars that only I can see. It hardly worked.
*It's been a long hard road without you by my side.
Why weren't you there all the nights that we cried?
You broke my mother's heart, you broke your children for life.
It's not OK, but we're all right.
I remember the days you were a hero in my eyes.
But those are just a long lost memory of mine.
Now I'm writing just to let you know I'm still alive, yeah I'm still alive.
Sometimes I forgive.
Yeah and this time, I'll admit,
That I miss you, said I miss you.*
I don't think I can forgive him for what he's done. Why can't the memories come back and be real again? I want those days back. I want my hero back, I want my dad back. "Alright, I'll admit it, I miss you." I say aloud. I can feel the hot tears welling up in my bloodshot eyes. "I miss you." I say again, softer, as the tears start falling in rivets down my pale skin.
*It's been a long hard road without you by my side.
Why weren't you there on the nights that we cried?
You broke my mother's heart, you broke your children for life.
It's not OK, but we're all right.
I remember the days you were a hero in my eyes but those are just a long lost memory of mine.
Now I'm writing just to let you know I'm still alive.
And sometimes I forgive.
Yeah, this time I'll admit,
That I miss you.
I miss you.
Hey dad.*
I grab a pen and paper and begin to write,
Hey dad,…