The group finished lunch and returned to the Foxxy Laydee, where the girls changed back into their dancing costumes backstage. Before returning to the showroom, Jewell offered to keep helping Mary. "If you want, we can ask Belinda to pair you and me up on stage. Or I can stand just off-stage during your sets if you like."
Mary knew she would have to start dancing on her own sooner or later, so she shook her head. "That's OK. I think I'm going to be alright. Just give me some advice offstage if you see me doing anything stupid."
***
She danced every other set for the rest of the afternoon, doing her best to project energy and enthusiasm. Some sets went better than others. Fortunately, she made at least a few dollars during each one.
Surprisingly, Mary found that the topless dances didn't bother her much, perhaps because none of them wound up being as extreme as the private one she had performed with Jewell earlier in the morning. Just a little bit of bouncing and cavorting was all that the job required.
However, around two o' clock, a gentleman handed Mary a ten while she was on-stage. It was the first time she had been required to publicly remove her bikini bottom.
She realized that she hadn't mentally prepared herself for the moment, and an intense wave of self-consciousness swept over her. For a moment, she couldn't help but look around at the other girls and notice how much more attractively shaven and groomed their private areas looked compared to hers.
But then, like a trooper, she took her bikini off and continued dancing. The man who had tipped her did not look disappointed. For his benefit, Mary even tried to smile and look like she was enjoying it. But she wasn't. She held her emotions together long enough to finish the set. Then she ran offstage to the locker area and hid her eyes in her hands.
Stupid. She had known from the start that it would be part of the job. Why did this upset her so much?
Perhaps because it was the first time in her adult life that a man had ever seen that most private part of her? All those idealistic notions – of waiting to be with the man she married, sharing herself only with him – gone.
But she hadn't physically shared herself with anyone. Just visually. Did that count? Should it?
Why did this have to get so confusing all of a sudden? Things had been going just fine.
"Mary, is that you? What's wrong?" For the first time all day, Jewell's voice was not a welcome sound; Mary just wanted to be alone.
"I'm fine." She pushed the words out between sniffles.
"You don't sound fine. Did something happen out there?"
"No. It's no big deal, really."
"Well, why are you crying?"
For a brief moment, Mary considered telling Jewell the full truth, but a much better half-truth occurred to her. "It's so stupid, Jewell. It's just that, I was out there dancing completely naked and I realized how much prettier the other girls' stuff looked than mine. I haven't done anything to make mine look attractive and I got so embarrassed…." She disintegrated into a whole new round of tears, which were only partially forced.
Jewell soothingly patted Mary's back. "Aw, honey, don't you worry about a thing. I'll set you up at my beauty salon tonight for a bikini wax."
Mary looked up at her with tears still shimmering in her eyes. "I don't think I can afford that."
"Well, I realize you're just starting out, so I'll take care of it."
Mary shook her head. "I can't do that. You and Clive already bought me lunch."
"Don't worry about it, sweetie. You can pay me back after you get your first paycheck. I know you'll be good for it."
Mary reluctantly nodded. "OK. Thank you."
"No problem. Now go clean yourself up. I'm pretty sure you're supposed to be dancing for the next set."
***
After completing the rest of her afternoon shift without further incident, Mary cashed out for the day. Belinda calculated her final total and muttered, "Not bad for your first day out, rookie. You working tomorrow?"
Mary nodded.
"See you at ten AM sharp, then," Belinda grunted as she returned to counting money piles.
Mary smiled and headed for the lockers. She found Jewell getting dressed there.
"So, you survived your first day." She smiled warmly at Mary.
"Yup. I made it," Mary said as she unlocked and opened her locker.
"Congratulations! We should go out and celebrate later."
Mary frowned. She didn't want to admit to Jewell that she didn't drink, so she fell back on the money excuse. "I really can't afford to celebrate anything yet. Maybe we'll celebrate my first paycheck instead."
Jewell chuckled. "Fair enough. That reminds me, I gave you the address of my beauty salon, right?"
Mary nodded as she pulled her street clothes from the locker and set them on the bench.
Jewell dug in her purse and extracted a wad of money. "Here's a hundred bucks for you to spend there as you see fit."
She handed the money to Mary, who stared at it with a blank expression rather than thanking her for it.
After an awkward pause, Jewell shrugged and said, "Well, I guess I'll see you tomorrow." She slipped her wedding band on, picked up her purse, and shut her locker.
"What? Oh. Yeah, see you tomorrow," Mary muttered absently as Jewell departed. But she was too busy mentally scolding herself for having accepted the money to notice that the dancer was leaving.
"Why did I say yes? Why didn't I realize what I was doing at the time?"
By taking the money, she had already broken her vow not to go into debt in Fort Lauderdale. Oh, sure, it was only Jewell this time, and she had borrowed the money with her permission. But whom would she borrow from next? A credit company? Followed by a debt management company? And then, when things got really desperate, would she steal from people she cared about, the way she had stolen from her youngest brothers back in Glenoak?
"Calm down. You'll get your paycheck Friday and you'll pay Jewell back first. Then you'll put the rest in the bank and save it to pay bills at the end of the month. You'll only take money out to spend it on necessities like food. Things will be tight for the first few months, but they'll end up fine. Just believe in yourself."
Mary relaxed a bit after her moment of positive thinking. She started to dress, but accidentally dropped her shirt on the floor. As she knelt down to pick it up, she heard footsteps approaching from the side.
"Well, well, well. Look at you, on your knees like the dog that you are," Babs spat harshly. With a contemptuous sneer, she added, "You'll be on the street turning tricks in no time."
Mary looked at her scornfully for a moment, wanting to vent a few choice insults of her own. But Babs looked so skinny and pathetic that she couldn't force herself to do it. Instead, she humbly looked away from the veteran dancer, stood up, and continued to dress.