Written by: Neeko
(tanpopo_nyo@hotmail.com)
Notes: For those who are confused about how this story is going, let me explain a few things. First off, as I said before, this takes place in the very beginning of SailormoonR. Meaning: Usagi and Mamoru KNOW about each other, and are, well, in love. While Usagi is sure they are in love, with these recent dreams, Mamoru is having doubts if maybe the only reason he's with Usagi is because she was Serenity. This story is about the problems he has to face while finding out the answer. But something is preventing him from finding out. Himself. It's a little hard to follow, but I'll try to make it easier.
Update: Please note, that the dreams aren't suppose to make
complete sense. They're suppose to be symbollic and metaphorical of what Mamoru
is feeling. If you don't understand what's going on in his dreams, it's okay!
You'll probably get it later on. Sorry if there was any confusion there. This
chapter is going to seem a bit confusing at first, but hopefully you'll get
what's happening.
Will this turn out to be a U/M ending? Or does Usagi end up an unhappy girl?
If I told you that now, why, you wouldn't even bother to continue reading, ne?
***
Chapter 2
***
"Mamo-chan...."
"....why...."
"Mamo-chan...."
"...why do you call me that...."
"Mamo-chan...."
"...you are not Usako...."
"Mamo-chan...."
"...don't call me...."
"Mamo-chan...."
"Serenity...."
"...it's alright my prince... I'll find you again.... don't be afraid when
we meet..."
"...but you found your prince..."
"I'll find you."
"...Serenity...."
"I'll find you."
"...don't leave... please..."
"I'll find you."
"...don't disappear."
"I'll find... you..."
***
Weak eyes slowly fluttered open, bright light blinding his vision. His head
hurt like hell, and his stomache felt like it was about to throw up everything
he ate. And something felt wrong inside his head. Not because of the blinding
pain, but.... it felt like... something was missing.
"Mamo-chan?"
He turned his head, rather quickly, a bit alarmed by the pet name. His vision
was still blurred. He couldn't make out who called to him. All that could be
seen was long, golden hair. Was it Serenity from his dreams?
"Mamo-chan? Are you feeling well? Mamo-chan?"
No. It wasn't Serenity. He sensed someone more familiar to him. It was....
...her.
Feeling a small squeeze on his hand, his vision began to refocus. "U...Usa..."
He watched as her face lit up, like a Christmas tree on Christmas Day, as she
threw herself onto him. Wrapping her arms tightly around his neck, she pulled
him as close as she could towards her warm body. Mamoru blushed, feeling stupid
for not knowing who this angel was. 'I should have known... only one person
calls me that name...'
'...well, the only REAL person.'
"Mamo-chan.... I was so worried about you...."
He felt tears fall from her fragile face onto his skin. Did he really cause
her this much pain? "Usako..." He whispered, holding her as if she
were about to break.
"What happened to you?" She asked, pulling away.
"I'm not sure... I just... blacked out. And I woke up. Here. With you."
He stressed the last one.
"I came as soon as I heard.... I'm sorry I couldn't come sooner."
A reassuring smile. "You came as fast as you could. It's fine. Thanks,
for being here, Usako." He brought his large hand towards her cheek, and
caressed it gently. Her skin seemed like silk to his fingers. Smooth silk. Usagi
smiled, and placed her smaller hand on top of his.
"Motoki-kun said he'd be coming later... he was really worried about you,
Mamo-chan."
"Motoki? How'd... how'd he know?"
Usagi raised an eyebrow. "You were with him. Before you blacked out. He's
the one who told me."
"What are you talking about?" He asked. "I was never with Motoki."
***
It was the first night in ages that he slept in a bed he didn't recognize. Although
everything was fine, the doctors wanted to keep him in for just one night, to
check on his conditions. The fear of hospitals still stayed with him the entire
night, but that wasn't what kept him up.
Neither was the beeping of the monitors.
Usagi had left a few hours ago, but her words never left him. She claimed he
was with Motoki, and that they were having some sort of conversation, and that's
where he blacked out. Mamoru didn't get it. 'What conversation? When did I go
to the arcade? How come I don't remember a thing?' Usagi was the type of person
who would never lie, even if it meant her life depended on it.
'I guess I have to wait until I see Motoki again....'
How could he have forgotten? What were they talking about? What had happened
that made him forget about a simple conversation? Mamoru groaned silently. He'd
never be able to sleep.
Suddenly, a faint click was heard in the background, and Mamoru's ears perked
up. The door was opening. A small amount of light poured in, before disappearing
again when the door closed. Someone was in the room.
"Who's there?" He called.
"Mamoru-kun?" A faint voice called.
"Motoki?" He was relieved to say the least. "What are you doing?
It's really late--"
The light flicked on, and Mamoru covered his eyes from the blinding light. Motoki
chuckled, and slowly walked towards him. "I'm a friend of the nurses. She
was able to sneak me in some time here. Sorry I couldn't come earlier, but I
had to take care of the arcade." The blonde haired man paused a bit, to
take a better look at his friend. "How ya feelin?"
Mamoru sighed, relaxing. "Great. My head still hurts a bit, but I'm fine.
I can't wait until I get out of this damned hospital."
"It's gotta be tough here alone. Good thing Usagi-chan visited you, ne?
I made sure she knew what happe--"
"Yeah." He cut in. "Usako visited me."
"....."
The awkward silence.
"Mamoru-kun.... about our conversation earlier...."
"I don't think we should talk about that..."
"But we really should--"
"I have no idea what conversation we had. That's why we can't talk about
it." Mamoru was surprised to see the shocked look on Motoki's face. "Usako
told me I had some sort of conversation with you, and I blacked out."
"So you forgot? You have no memory, what so ever? So from the end of school
until you woke up, you have no idea what happened."
Mamoru shook his head. "Nope. It's kinda strange. Out of everything, I
forget that one conversation." He chuckled softly to himself. "Was
it intense?"
Motoki sighed, and took a seat next to the bed. "You bet...."
"So, what was it about?"
Motoki gave him a distressed look. "Your dreams."
"My dreams?" Mamoru blinked a few times. 'Could he mean Serenity?
Did I talk to him about Serenity?' "Are you..."
"Yeah... it's about Serenity."
"But... I talked to you about that all the time. Why did I forget and black
out this time?"
The blonde paused, before pulling at his collar, trying to let air brush against
his hot neck. "This one was more serious... it was about you, Serenity...
and... Usagi-chan..."
Mamoru's smile slowly faded, as a small memory flashed before him. He remembered
not trying to listen to Motoki... and that his head hurt a lot. "Usako?
Why... why would I try to forget about--"
"Because we were talking about how she may not be the one you love."
But before Mamoru could reply, his head banged with pain, and his consciousness
was lost.
***
It was dark. He couldn't tell the difference if he closed his eyes or had them
open.
It didn't matter.
All he could feel was the small droplets of rain that fell constantly onto his
head. His clothes were damp, his hair was damp. He was all wet. His face got
damp, but not from the rain.
From his tears.
Small tears betrayed his strong will and slowly fell down his cheek.
"Help me." As if someone was there, he called to them while falling
to his knees, crying.
Yet someone answered. He couldn't see who it was, but he felt someone kneel
in front of him. Warm, soft hands lifted his head up, and rested on his cheeks.
"Little boy..." It was a woman. Her voice sounded like an angel singing.
"Are you lost?"
He didn't know who this woman was. Nor what she looked like. But someone, he
felt like he *knew* her. "Help me..."
"What's wrong, little one?"
"I don't remember...." Tear after tear fell from his face. He could
sense the woman smile, as she began to wipe away his tears.
"You don't remember? What don't you remember?"
"I... don't remember... who...."
"Who..?"
"Who... I loved..." He rested his weary head on the woman's lap, as
he began to sniff back his tears. "I loved her... but I don't remember
her... and every time I do, my head hurts... and I forget..."
"Shh... it's okay..."
"And I'm scared... what if she leaves me? Or what if I forget her completely?
I'll hurt her... she'll be in pain.... I can't... I can't bear the thought of
causing her pain...." The woman stroked his head softly. This action really
comforted him. A stranger, comforting him.
No, not a stranger.
"She will not leave you. No matter what you try to do, she will never leave
you."
"You don't know that for sure..."
"I do. You are lost. She is lost. You're both lost."
"I'm going to lose her..."
"She'll find you."
The boy lifted his head up, and stared up at the woman, but all he got was darkness.
"She will?"
"She'll find you."
"Will I find her?"
"You'll find her."
"We'll find each other..." He smiled, and rested his head on her lap
again.
"Even if you forget her, she'll find you. And you will find her. I promise."
He slowly began to close his eyes, as the rain began to stop.
"I'll find you, my prince. I'll find you."
The boy smiled. "I'll find you too." His body shined with light, as
an older, bigger version of himself took his place. The light around him made
the woman's face somewhat visible.
"Mamo-chan..." She whispered.
"Serenity..."
***