Written by: Neeko
(tanpopo_nyo@hotmail.com)
Notes: The next chapter will explain EVERYTHING. This chapter is a little vague on the subject.
Updated: A new Usagi-POV scene and many alterations.
****
Chapter 4
****
Mamoru impatiently tapped his foot against the ground, as he waited at the bottom
of the Tsukino households' staircase. An hour had passed since Usagi got up
and left from her comfy sleep to take a shower. But something was wrong this
time. Her eyes showed she was in pain. As if she felt betrayed somehow. Mamoru
wondered what could have possibly happened.
'You're not the one I love.'
Those damn dreams.
Mamoru knew who that little boy was. It was him. The woman had to be Serenity.
That part made sense. But what didn't make sense was the way they acted around
each other. What was all that talk about loving two people at the same time?
It all didn't make sense from that point. But the more he tried to think about
it, the more his head started to throb with pain. Knowing if he thought about
it more, he'd pass out once again, and give Usagi more worries than she needed.
He couldn't take it anymore. He had to check up on her. Up the stairs he went,
until he was in front of her closed door. Raising a hand to knock, he stopped
midway, when a familiar noise was heard. He pressed his ear against the door,
and listened.
"...not sure.... Rei-chan....."
Was she on the phone? Her conversation was hard to hear.
"...he said... love... got up.... left...."
Yep, she was definitely on the phone. With Rei. Suddenly, his heart struck with
pain, when he heard her sniffle. She was crying?! Mamoru wanted to punch himself
right there and then. He made her cry. Yet again. How he wanted to storm in
there right now and hold her.
Yet something inside him was stopping him.
Instead, he knocked on the door. He could hear Usagi scramble to hang up the
phone. "Mamo-chan?" She called.
"Are you okay, Usako? You were taking quite a while, I thought something--"
The door swung open, and Mamoru wanted to die. Although she tried her best to
cover it, her eyes were still puffy and red. Cheeks stained with dry tears,
and her lips were quivering just a bit. Her hair was a mess, and her usual cheery
smile wasn't there. "Usako, were you crying?"
He saw her flinch, knowing she had been caught. "N-no--"
Mamoru placed his hand under her chin, and pushed up slightly. Looking into
her deep blue eyes, he could definitely tell she was crying. "Don't lie
to me, Usako. I can tell. What happened?" She just stared at him, trying
her best not to burst into tears. Mamoru sighed, and wrapped his arms around
her, holding her small body tightly against his. "Usako, did I say something?
To hurt you? Please tell me... I don't like seeing you in pain."
She sniffed. "You love me, right?" She asked, her voice muffled from
his shirt.
"What did I say to you, Usako? Tell me." He almost kicked himself
for not answering her question. Yet again, something was stopping him. Usagi
pushed herself away from him gently, and wiped the tears that managed to escape.
"Usako..."
"It's stupid! I'm crying over something stupid. You said something in your
sleep which shouldn't hurt me, but it did! And I feel stupid crying over it
and making you worry...." She confessed. Usagi rubbed the tears away, and
put on her strongest face. "You said you didn't love me. And it hurt. But
it shouldn't, because I know it's not true." She smiled. "Ne?"
Mamoru didn't reply. The same thing that was stopping him was stopping him from
replying. 'Answer, you fool! Why won't you answer her?!' He desperately tried
to find something to say, anything. Why wasn't he saying anything? He could
see Usagi's world shattering beneath her.
"Right, Mamo-chan? You love me, right?!"
'Say something! Yes, yes you love her! Say it!' But nothing came. Mamoru took
once glance into her eyes, and knew, her heart had shattered into a million
pieces. All because of him. She clutched her chest and slowly fell to her knees.
"I should have known.... you never liked me. Maybe your previous self loved
my previous self, but you, never loved me. It was just silly image I painted
in my head. Telling myself everything was alright. How stupid of me!"
Every word struck Mamoru's heart with a dagger. Something had possessed him,
and was controlling him. He could move his body, but all the things he wanted
to say, he wasn't able. He struggled to say what his heart wanted to say. But
all he could do was listen to Usagi pour her feelings.
"Just because Serenity and Endymion were together, doesn't mean Usagi and
Mamoru have to be together too... right? Even if I fell in love with you, doesn't
mean you had to fall in love with me." She looked up at Mamoru, with a
smile on her face. But there was no happiness, or cheeriness in her voice. "I'm
sorry, Mamoru-san... you can go now. You don't have to stay with me."
Mamoru felt like crying with her. The pain he could feel, was the most pain
she had ever felt. The battle with Beryl was nothing compared to what he could
tell she was feeling. All because of him. Mamoru knew he couldn't stay here.
He had to find out what was possessing him, and why. He knew this had to be
connected to the dreams. "Usako... I...."
Nothing else came out of his mouth. Instead, he turned away, and left. As he
closed her bedroom door, he could hear her cry. Mamoru ran down the stairs and
out of the house, to the only place he knew he could go.
****
Her world had officially ended.
Usagi couldn't even look up as Mamoru turned around and left. She waited until she heard the door close, before letting out the cries of pain.
The moment he said You're Not the One I Love, Usagi's heart began to tear into pieces. She ran upstairs to take a shower, and broke down and cried. Phoning up Rei, she told her everything. "I'm not sure what's wrong with him, Rei-chan. I don't know why he said it.. He said he didn't love me, and I go up and left to take a shower."
"Usagi-chan, I'm sure Mamoru-san was just dreaming about something else. He loves you, ne? What if he was dreaming about black licorice and red licorice? Maybe he was talking to black lico--"
"Rei-chan, I hardly think that's what he was dreaming about."
"I'm trying to give an example. You know what I mean. Just don't worry about it. Mamoru loves you, you know he does."
Usagi knew with all of her heart that Mamoru loved her, but she always wondered was he in love with who she is, or who she was?
Today answered that question.
He loved her for who she was.
She wished it was the other one, but she knew it was inevitable. 'I use to be a gorgeous princess.. elegant, beautiful, graceful.. of course he was in love with her! Why couldn't I see it?! Why did I delude myself into thinking that maybe.. that maybe...
..he loved me for who I am.'
She continued to cry.
"Mamo-chan..."
***
Mamoru hesitated. This wasn't the wisest place to go, but it was the only place.
He knew she wouldn't help him, yet his feet kept moving.
They stopped, when he met face to face witht he person he was looking for. Gulping, Mamoru was shaking. Who would have thought this person could be so scary?
"You've got some nerve coming here, Chiba!"
"Rei-chan, I need your help."
"Don't you dare call me Rei-chan after what you just did!
You know I just got off the phone with Usagi, who was crying like there was
no tomorrow, because of some JERK who couldn't answer a simple question?!"
"Rei.. I know it sounds bad, but hear me out..."
Anger burning in her eyes, she pulled out her ofuda. "Rin, pyou, tou...."
"Rei..."
"..sha, kai, jin, retsu...."
"Just hear me out!"
"...sai, zen...."
"Rei...."
"Akuryou...."
"Something is controlling me! I need to figure out what it is, so I can
stop hurting Usako!"
"TAISAN!!!!"
Mamoru tried to move out of the way, but the priestess was quick. She ran up
to him, and smacked the ofuda right on his forehead. He waited for the fire
to scorch his skin, yet nothing came. Rei raised an eyebrow, and smacked him
at the back of the head. "Liar, nothing is controlilng you!"
He pulled the paper off his forehead, and looked up at the fiery priestess
in front of him. Her raven hair tied up in a ponytail, and her traditional maiden
uniform, Hino Rei threw her broom down. Her eyebrows narrowed, and eyes with
anger, she impatiently waited for his response. "I didn't mean a spirit
was controlling me. Look, I know, I must sound like the biggest jerk in the
world--"
"Maybe that's because you are!"
Ouch. Mamoru flinched. "Just let me explain, please..."
Rei folded her arms across her chest. "You have 30 seconds before I send
you to hell."
He gulped. Rei can be very scary. "I think something is wrong with me.
I've been having these dreams lately... and they're making me hurt Usako, and
Motoki. I need your help to find out whatever the hell it is, and to get rid
of it. Please, Rei, you're the only person I can talk to right now..."
He looked up to see if she had understood what he said. It took a bit of reasoning,
but Rei finally let down her guard.
"Fine. Just remember, I'm doing this for Usagi-chan, and not you, you spineless
jerk."
Mamoru smiled. "Thanks."
***
Kneeling on a pillow, Mamoru closed his eyes. Rei had brought them to the fire
reading room, to see what was wrong with him. If it wasn't spiritual, maybe
something was wrong with him physically.
He could feel her concentrating her energy towards the fire.
Knowing Usagi probably spilled everything to Rei, he still had no one else to
go to. Mamoru knew Rei's devotion to Usagi, and as angry as she was at him,
she knew she had to help. Mamoru waited patiently waited for Rei's answer.
The fire increased, along with Rei's hand actions. The flame grew bigger, and
bigger, and bigger, until it stopped. Rei opened her eyes. "Mamoru-san...."
"Hai?"
"...nothing is wrong with you."
She had to be lying. Something had to be wrong! "You're joking. There has
to be something. Are you sure you didn't miss anything?"
Rei turned around to face him, and shook her head. "The fire is never wrong."
All sorts of alarms ran through Mamoru's head. So he was doing this on his free
will? HE hurt Usagi? Not some demon possessing him? His brain wasn't working
right? It was... him? "Rei... there has to be something. I would never
hurt her like that... Check again!" He demanded, standing up from his seat.
"Mamoru-san, calm down. When I said nothing is wrong, I meant nothing is
currently posessing you, or physically wrong. I did, however, sense problems
within you. Your soul is troubled. Both of them."
"Both of them?"
"The soul of Chiba Mamoru and the soul of Prince Endymion. You know you
carry both, as Usagi does with Serenity's soul. Yours are troubled." Rei
sighed, and looked into his eyes. "You've been having dreams, right?"
"Yeah."
"About what?"
He hesitated. All of this seemed familiar. "They're about--"
He didn't finish, for he fell to the floor unconscious.
****
"Wake up. You pathetic child."
"Mmm...."
"Get up. Now."
Little Mamoru slowly got up from his sleeping place on the floor. The rain was
still falling. Instead of the woman who comforted him, it was a larger man.
He was wearing heavy metal armour, and he couldn't see his face. "Who are
you?"
"It doesn't matter. You need to stop crying and sitting around and doing
nothing. You're in trouble. And it's not only hurting you, it's hurting me,
and the ones we love."
Little Mamoru was confused. "I'm in trouble?"
"Ever since I was awakened. Ever since your memories were released. You
have been in trouble. Your soul wants rest, but all it does is cry in pain."
"What did I do?"
"Find the answer to the question that is troubling you."
"What question?"
"Find it quickly. Before you stop yourself."
"Before I stop myself? What are you talking about?"
The man didn't reply, and turned around, his cape fluttering behind him. "You'll
forget once you figure out. You must be strong when the answer comes, or all
will be lost. You will be stopped by yourself."
"What are you talking about?" Little Mamoru reached out and tugged
onto his cape. "Please, don't go! I need to know what's happening!"
The man disappeared, and Little Mamoru began to cry.
****
His eyes slowly opened, as he felt a cold substance being pressed against his
forehead. Mamoru moaned slightly, as a pain traveled through his head. 'What
happened?' He wondered. He felt blankets being secured around him, and he was
lying down on the floor. The place seemed familiar to him, but he couldn't tell
where he was.
"You're awake," A voice called. Mamoru turned his head slightly, and
was surprised to see Rei with a tray of tea. "Drink some when you're feeling
better."
"Rei? Why..." He couldn't remember why he was here. Why was she here?
"Why are you here?"
She frowned. "Because I live here?"
"I'm in your shrine? How did I..."
Rei looked just as shocked as Mamoru. "Nani? You don't remember?"
She watched as Mamoru slowly sat up, clutching his head in his hand. "Remember?
You came to me wondering what was wrong with you..." She waited for a reaction,
but got none. "Don't you remember anything?"
"I remember going to Usagi's house... her mom told me she wasn't there,
so I waited in front of her house.... and..." He searched his brain for
answers. "I don't remember anything else. How did I get here?"
Rei had never heard anything like this in her life. How could someone forget
all of that? Sure Mamoru had history of forgetting, but then again, so did she.
She reached out to touch his forehead, and frowned. "You have no fever...
you honestly don't remember a thing?"
"No..." He searched his mind, but all he got was a blank. "What
happened, Rei?"
"You came here to find out if something was wrong with you. I did a fire
reading, and you passed out. You woke up, and...well here we are." She
blinked a few times, before scratching her head. "You didn't hit your head
on anything...."
"This is exactly what happened before...." Mamoru remembered. "I
was talking with Motoki about something, and I passed out... and I couldn't
remember a thing." He turned to Rei, and blinked. "Rei, what was I
talking about before I passed out?"
"Well, I found out your soul was being troubled... and it was connected
to the dreams you've been having. You were about to tell me what happened, and
well, you passed out." Her eyes widened. "Could that be the reason
for your blackouts?"
"Something inside of me doesn't want me to remember anything related to
those dreams..."
"There's nothing possessing you. I'm sure of it."
'"You'll forget once you figure out. You must be strong when the answer
comes, or all will be lost. You will be stopped by yourself."'
Mamoru remembered his dream. The man, the woman, everything. It was all clear.
"Rei... it's me."
"Hmm?"
"It's me, that's stopping me. I'm stopping myself from remembering. I'm
blocking my own memories out. It's me."
Rei took a deep breath in, trying to understand everything. "I don't get
it... why would you stop yourself?"
"I don't know... I can't talk about the dreams. I'll pass out again, and
I won't remember a thing. All I remember when I wake up is having the dreams.
That's it."
Suddenly, it was all becoming clear to the both of them. Rei smiled. "So
the only way you can figure this out, is do it in your dreams... otherwise,
if you do it now, everything will be lost."
He nodded. "Stay here, alright? I need you to watch over me. Wake me up
if anything--"
"Got it. Mamoru-san?"
"Hmm?"
"What were your dreams about?"
"....they're about Princess Serenity."
As expected, Mamoru's eyes shut tight, as he fell back into his bed, slowly
falling into his dream world.