Written by: Neeko
(tanpopo_nyo@hotmail.com)
Notes: It's been a little slow these past few days. Sorry. I've been quite busy, and forgot how I was going to end this story, so I had to sit down and think of the possiblities, and even now, I don't know. o_O; There'll be at least two or more chapters, and it's done. This chapter tries to explain a lot of confusion that I left. If you're still confused, I'm sorry... you can leave a review or email me with your question. (Or perhaps a suggestion on how to write it more clearly?)
Updated: I changed alot of scenes in here, because as I look
back now it was really confusing. Hopefully now it'll be more understandable.
If you still don't get it, please wait for the final chapter, as it will explain
everything.
***
Chapter 5
***
The scenary was different this time. Instead of the dark and gloomy ones he'd
always get, it was bright and uplifting. A rose garden surrounded him, and a
fountain stood in front of him. This place seemed vaguely familiar to him.
"Where am I?" He thought outloud.
"You're in the garden of the Moon Kingdom." A voice called to him
from behind. Mamoru turned around on his feet, eyes widening. The woman who
had visited since him since he was a child, was standing right in front of him.
Even if it was just a dream. "Isn't it lovely? I always loved this rose
garden..." Her long, golden hair trailing behind her, Princess Serenity
walked towards a rose, and bent down to smell it. "Don't you think, Mamo-chan?"
He clenched his fists. "Don't call me that... only Usa--"
"Aren't I your beloved Usako? Are we not the same? Can't I not call you
Mamo-chan?" She asked, not even bothering to look at him. Mamoru frowned,
unable to answer. Serenity sighed, still staring at the red rose.
"Serenity.... I need to know something. You're the only one I know who
can help me." Mamoru waited for the princess to reply, but none came. She
just brushed her fingers against the rose, inhaling it's sweet scent. "Serenity,
please! I beg of you... I need your help." Again, no reply. Mamoru began
to get impatient. He walked up towards her, and violently grabbed her by the
shoulders, shaking her repeatedly.
Serenity began to scream. "Yamete!!"
"Serenity, you need to help me! I might lose her... I could... I could
lose the one I love the most!" He slowly stopped shaking her, but not releasing
his grip on her. Serenity looked into his eyes, and could see his tears slowly
forming. She smiled at him.
"But I'm right here."
"You're not her!!" He growled, while his firm grip increased. "You
and Usako are different! I love Usako!"
Although her arms were already bruised from his grip, Serenity tried to pry
out. "Are you an idiot? If you love Usako, you love me! Besides, you fell
in love with ME first. The only reason you love 'Usako' is because I am her!"
Everything she said went in one ear, and out the other. It didn't make sense.
What she said couldnt' be true! "That's not true..."
"Why do you think you couldn't tell Usako the truth? When she was asking
you in her room? You didn't say a word. You can't lie to her. You can't lie
to us. Face the truth, Mamo-chan!"
The moment she finished her last word, she disappeared into thin air. The garden,
the roses, everything turned black. Mamoru slowly fell to his knees, still grasping
onto the words she was telling him.
Was it true? Was he only with Usako because... because... she was Princess Serenity?
If that wasn't true, he would have fallen in love with Usagi the moment they
met, but he knew that wasn't true. Her words, 'Aren't we the same?' kept replaying
in his head. Serenity *was* reborn as Usagi. They ARE the same. Are they not?
'They may be the same people... but their souls, their personalities are completely
different...' He closed his eyes, as the familiar rain began to fall onto him.
He couldn't face the truth. He was in love with Usako, because she carried the
soul of Princess Serenity?
Is that the truth? It made sense. When he first met Usagi, he knew there wasn't love there. When did he fall in love with Usagi? Was he even in love with her at all? Is what Princess Serenity said true...?
He loved her because of who she was?
He shut his eyes. 'I can't cry... Don't cry....'
He cried.
***
His eyes were greeted with darkness.
He was still dreaming.
The rain kept falling, his entire body was drenched in water.
He didn't care.
He turned his head to the right, when a flash of red and orange light caught
his eye. His eyes narrowed, as the lights disappeared, and all that was left
was darkness. However, he could tell someone was there.
"Mamoru-san?" The voice called.
"Rei..." He replied.
A small red aura surrounded Rei, and she became slightly visible. She slowly
walked up to Mamoru, and her eyes widened. "Mamoru-san. What are you doing
on the floor?" She asked, while kneeling down. "You look as if you
were crying just now."
He didn't notice the tears that continued to fall from his eyes. Quickly brushing
them away, he looked up at Rei. "What are you doing here? And how?"
"You started violently shaking, so I figured, something's gotta be wrong.
So, I did a quick fire reading, and saw what happened... so I quickly came into
your dream to help you through this."
Mamoru looked into her eyes with his own confused ones. "You shouldn't
be helping me."
Rei blinked a few times and raised an eyebrow. "Why not?"
"You heard what she said. I'm only with Usagi because she was Serenity!
I'm the jerk who broke your best friend's heart. You should be conjuring a spell
to turn me into a demon, or something! Not help me." He sat up from his
seat, got up and walked right passed Rei, who quickly ran up to him and grabbed
him by the shoulder.
"You don't know what she said is true! For all we know, she could be playing
with your mind right now! The only one who really knows the answer, is YOU,
Chiba Mamoru. Don't run away like some little child who lost his lollipop!"
He brushed her hand away from his shoulder. "I *am* a little boy. I've
always been. I've never grown up."
"Stop being such a dumbass!" She swore, grabbing his shoulder again.
"You're a full grown man now. Sure, you were once a scared little child.
We all were! But now you're not. You've gotten passed all those hardships. You're
a man. A strong, confident man!"
"What would you know?!" He yelled, turning around to face her. "Don't
you see WHY I always black out when I put the two pieces together? Because deep
down I don't want to face the truth. I'm scared of it. I block out the memories,
just to prevent myself from feeling the pain. See how frightened I am? See how
much of a chicken I am? See how I can't face silly things like that? Tell me,
how is that being a strong, and confident man?!"
"Mamoru-san...." She whispered, while putting her hand to her own
mouth. This wasn't the same Mamoru she knew. The Mamoru she knew was stronger
than this. He wouldn't let someone else's thoughts get in the way of his. This
Mamoru.. had completely broken down. His soul was shattered. "You're...
you're... you're just...."
"Shut up, Rei. You know I'm right. You know there's nothing you could possibly
say that could prove me wrong. I don't deserve to be with a girl like Usagi.
I hurt her bad. I should just kill myself right now--" He was stopped short,
as Rei's hand slapped his cheek. The blow was a lot harder than he expected,
as his cheek burned. He looked up at Rei, who looked as if she just killed someone.
She slowly reached out towards him, but he backed away.
"Mamoru-san... I'm...."
"It's okay... It's just a--" He was stopped yet again, when another
slap came to his other cheek. "What the hell?!!"
"I'm not sorry for what I just did! You deserved that! Will you listen
to yourself? Listen to what you've become! The moment something is hard for
you, you back down and cry. That's not the Mamoru I knew! That's not the Mamoru
that I admired!" He looked up at Rei, who looked like she was about to
cry, but she was stronger than that. He knew deep down. "Look... I know
what it's like to grow up without your parents. My mom died, and my dad was
just too busy for me. After growing up with no parents, no one to love, no one
who loved you, of course you're going to grow some sort of defense against the
pain. You don't want to go what you went through before, right? Doesn't mean
you're a little boy!"
She smiled. "Look at yourself now. Look at how successful you've become. You died, and came back to life, twice! You managed to get past your trouble filled past, and look at the person you've become. You're honest, sweet, kind, super good looking," She giggled. "And you still have a chance to take back one of the greatest things that have ever happened to you."
Mamoru looked at her with wide eyes.
"You have to work your way passed that defense, and face your fears to
get rid of it, once and for all. That's how we grow up." Rei slowly reached
out towards him, her hands firmly placing against the places she had just slapped.
"R-rei..." He looked down at the priestess. He could see that she
was never a silly teenager. She was a mature woman. Whoever ended up with her
would be a lucky man. She didn't give up on him, even if he insulted her, and
hurt her best friend.
"Mamoru-san... you're just confused. You grew up not knowing what love
was. Your memory of your parents was gone. All you had were the dreams of Princess
Serenity. Being so innocent, you probably thought this was love. No one was
around to teach you what it was. Then, you meet Usagi. Someone who you never
really thought about being with, until you realize, she's the woman from your
dreams! So now, your soul is confused. Some person that you generally disliked,
all of a sudden is the woman who is from your dreams, who you loved in a previous
lifetime. Now, it has made it so, like you said, you wouldn't feel the pain
that you felt before. You prevented yourself, without knowing, from realizing
the truth. So it would stop you from feeling any pain."
She sighed. "But somewhere along the line, somewhere inside if you wanted
to know the truth. What I'm trying to get to is... YOU have to figure out if
you're in love with Usagi, or the fact that she was Princess Serenity. Don't
let anyone tell you the truth but yourself."
"How... how do I do that?" He asked.
Rei smiled. "I can't help you with that. Just think: If you two were completely
normal people. No senshi, no dreams, nothing. You two met. Would you fall in
love with her?"
"I..." He didn't have an answer to that. But he needed to find it.
"You'll find the answer to it, and I know you'll make the right choice. You're one of the strongest men I've ever met, Mamoru. Don't forget that. Even if you can be a jerk sometimes." She smirked.
"Am I really that good looking?" He joked.
"Naw, I just added that in for esteem points." She teased. "Now
go."
And with that, the dream ended.
****
Mamoru's eyes slowly opened. The familiar sight of the Hikawa shrine entered
his vision. He turned his head to see Rei, lying on his chest, still sleeping.
He smiled down at her. If it weren't for her, he didn't know where he'd be right
now.
Now he knew what he had to do. He knew all the facts, all he had to do was piece
it all together.
'If you two were completely normal people. No senshi, no dreams, nothing. You
two met. Would you fall in love with her?'
Rei's words kept replaying in his mind. Every single sentence she spoke never
left his brain. He had to remember it all.
He'd find a way. Staring down at the raven haired woman, he smiled sincerely,
and placed a kiss on her head. "Thank you, Rei."
He got up from the bed, but not before seeing a flash of blond hair run away
from the door.
****
Mamoru ran as fast as his long legs could carry him. He just kept running. 'I
keep hurting her... I can't keep hurting her like this!' He knew Usagi had seen
him kiss Rei. She'd misunderstand, hate him, hate her best friend. All because
of him. "Usako!" He cried, when he managed to see her ahead of him.
She kept running as well. He could sense her tears. Her pain, her sorrow. Feeling
like she was betrayed by her best friend, and her some what of an "ex boyfriend."
He had to make it all right. Usagi was a sweet, loving, caring girl, who didn't
deserve the pain he constantly brought her.
Although Usagi was fast, Mamoru was faster. His hand managed to reach forward
and grab her by the wrist, yanking her into his embrace. The rain began to fall
harder. His hair, his clothes, his skin, it was all wet. He didn't care. He
just held her. He could feel her crying into his arms, wishing her body hadn't
betrayed her by allowing herself to be held like this.
The water on his arms weren't from the rain. They came from her eyes.
Mamoru rested his head on top of hers, and closed his eyes. "Usako..."
He whispered.
"Go away... don't call me that...." She sniffed, still not attempting
to move.
"Look, what you saw wasn't what you think it is." He tried to explain,
but Usagi took this time to pull away. She shoved herself away from Mamoru,
to glare at him with an icy stare.
"What? The fact that my best friend, who I was coming over to get comfort
because the man who thought loved me, only used me because he had something
going on with my previous self, is sleeping on top of him, and catch him kiss
her?!" She gasped at her own words.
"Usagi... it's not what you think."
"Tell me, Mamoru-san. Tell me, what the HELL is going on!" She demanded.
Mamoru knew she deserved to know. It was eatting her away. Her perfect life,
shattered in an instant.
But she couldn't know. Not now. Not yet. "Just... trust me."
Usagi laughed hysterically. "Are you kidding me?! TRUST you?! Why the hell
would I do that?!"
Mamoru flinched. The words hurt more than he thought. "I know, it's asking
a lot... but if you won't trust me, trust Rei. Know that she would never do
something like that. She would never hurt you, Usagi."
"I wish I could say the same about you, Mamoru!" She flung her harsh
words at him, before turning around and running away. Mamoru contemplated following
her, wondering if it was all pointless. He deserved her words, every single
one of them. The man who was suppose to love her, ended up being the man who
brought her endless heartbreak.
Just as he was about to turn around, a flash of red caught his eye. He turned
around, his eyes widening with horror. "USAGI!" He cried, running
as fast as the wind towards her.
'Run run... you have to make it, you have to save her... you can't let her--'
He pushed Usagi's body out of the way, just before he felt the car slam into
his body.