"I know you've been taken,
afraid to hurt again
You fight the love you feel for me
instead of givin' in
But I can wait forever,
a-helpin' you to see
That I was meant for you and you for me...
So remember
Goodbye doesn't mean forever
Let me tell you goodbye doesn't mean
we'll never be together again
Though we may be so far apart
you still will have my heart
So forget your past my Goodbye Girl
'Cause now you're home at last."
- Hootie & the Blowfish, Goodbye Girl
Goodbye Girl
(All your life you've waited for love to come and stay...)"Hello, darling."
I stared at her for a moment before sighing. "Hello, Brett."
It was August, a month or so before I would have thought she'd hear the gossip. However, I really have no reason to be surprised. I knew she would eventually come to see me; she always does.
I took her inside and sat her down on the couch, catching her quickly before she fell unceremoniously. She gripped onto me like a lifeline. I sat down next to her, partly because I doubted she would let go and partly because I was well aware that I wouldn't be able to sit this close to her after next month. We stared at each other for a few moments.
"I'm tight, Jake."
"I know."
A few more minutes passed before she spoke again.
"Oh, darling, I don't know what to do."
I waited for her to continue.
"Madame Lavigne says you're engaged. To an American," she added, as if it was
significant. I suppose it was.
"I am."
"Oh, why darling? We're so perfect together. Don't you love me anymore?"
"Of course I do."
"Then why?"
I frowned then. I wasn't sure myself and I told her so. It seemed about time to move on, is what I told myself.
"Isn't there anything we can do?"
"We decided years ago there wasn't, love." Her grip had loosened, so I got up to get wine for the both of us.
"Who is she, love?" I was pouring us each a glass from across the room. I had to look over my shoulder to answer. "Anne Hughes. She lives in Boston."
"Is she very pretty?"
"Maybe a bit plain, but nice enough to look at."
"Oh Jake, darling, why are you settling for someone plain?"
I set down the wine bottle and stared at the wall for a moment before answering. "She's perfectly understanding about my circumstances. Says she's passed the age where it matters anyway."
Silence, unlike any other I had experienced in Brett's presence. She broke it before anything would come of it.
"How did you meet?" Her smile, as I handed her a glass of wine, could have been forced. I couldn't tell. The couched sagged a little as I sat next to her.
"Southern France. On the coastline. She was visiting relatives."
"I see."
I watched her then, wondering at our change of position. It wasn't too long ago that I was the one asking about her latest love.
"Oh, call it off! Just call the whole wedding off! I couldn't bare it."
I blinked, startled from my thoughts. "Pardon?"
"Cancel it for me, Jake. You can't marry an American."
"Just like that?"
"Oh, darling… yes. You could wait for me."
"Wait for you?" I took hold of her hand then and kissed it. "Love, you said it yourself that we would never work. You'd feel trapped. It just… wouldn't work."
She looked away. "Yes, but… I won't be young forever. One day I'll be ready for you. I can be like your American girl. It won't be important then. You'll see." I couldn't think of a single thing to say to that.
"Do you love me still, darling?"
"Of course."
"Then wait." I watched her for several moments, refusing to break the eye contact. There was nothing but sincerity in her gaze. I relaxed.
"I'll phone Anne tomorrow."