The True Axis of Evil Take Over the World!
By Hayabusa Will (TheNameIsWill@AOL.Com)
Chapter One-Fuel
Of all the people to try and take over the world...there have been many. And for each, there has been a foil.
Bowser was one of the earliest, who tried his hardest and was defeated by Mario each time. Dr. Ivo "Eggman" Robotnik was beaten by Sonic the Hedgehog, no matter how good his plan was. Ganondorf Dragmire was defeated by the kid known as Link, and then, the adult known as Link. Dr. Wily was beaten badly by the robot called MegaMan. Lavos' plans were beaten by Crono, as Ryu had done to M.Bison. Dr. Neo Cortex met a defeat against Crash Bandicoot. The antics of Team Rocket were quickly stomped by one Red Ketchum and his organization, Team Rocket, Pokémon lineup. Sephiroth, thought to be one of the strongest villains to walk the Earth, was pounded by one Cloud Strife. And not even the greatest villain of all, the mighty CATS, couldn't stand up to ZIG-001.
However, what if there was a group of villains, one that didn't suck? What if this group was a different kind of villain, who allegedly couldn't be foiled?
Well, you all know of bad guys who have become good guys. ProtoMan, King Dedede, Magus, Wario. Even Bowser himself has been known to join Mario once or twice. But what about good guys who became bad guys? And not just to fool other good guys either? They had been driven to villainy, and proved to be stronger than they were as heroes, stronger than anyone could have ever expected. There was such a group. And this is their story.
---
ZANARKLAND
Tidus, the star Blitzball player, was signing autographs for his beloved fans after winning his team the game. He was just handing back an autograph to a small child when a voice yelled at him.
"Hey Tidus!" Screamed the voice. "YOU SUCK!"
"Why don't you come say that to my fa--" Tidus looked over and saw who it was. "Wait a minute, Sora? You're in the wrong game"
"Well, I can be in the wrong game because YOU SUCK!" Yelled Sora.
"I'd like to see you come down and do any better than me at Blitzball, if you think I suck much then" Replied Tidus, crossing his arms with a smirk.
"I don't need to prove anything to you, because YOU SUCK!" Sora continued.
The now enraged Tidus pointed a finger at Sora, speaking with a rather angry tone. "You're gonna shut up now, you stupid little son of a--"
"Calm down!" Wakka, coach of the Besaid Aurochs and friend to Tidus, quickly said. "He's just a stupid little kids. Stupid little kids don't understand. Ya know how they are"
"Oh fine" Tidus grumbled. He then walked off, still muttering to himself. "You know, between the constantly rising people who make fun of me at my games, and all this, it's getting kind of--WHAT THE?!" He stopped and gasped, as he saw Yuna standing in the arms with a dark-haired guy in a coat with a gun-sword next to him. "Yuna, what the hell?!"
"Tidus! I uh...was rehearsing for a play" Yuna quickly replied.
"Here? At my Blitzball game?" Tidus gasped. "And Squall Leonhart, you're in the wrong game! What is it with people being in the wrong game?!"
"We followed you here after Kingdom Hearts" Squall chuckled. "Me and Sora and Cloud that is"
"Oh, that jerk is here too?!" Tidus yelled angrily. "Why don't you all just go die somewhere?! I hate you all!" He ran away, sobbing.
-----
"So, Yuna cheated on you?" Asked Auron as he, Tidus and Wakka sat with a helping of Auron's sake. "Well, then I guess that's...that" He said as Wakka handed him a note. Auron unraveled it and read 'Icks-nay on the eating-chay'. Auron looked with an annoyed expression at Wakka, who was chucking nervously before throwing the note out the window before Tidus saw it.
"And with that stupid jerk..." Growled Tidus, putting down his cup. "Why did he have to follow me to my Blitzball Game?! Couldn't he just stay with that Seifer freak and...away from us?"
"Well, I'll tell you one thing" Auron said. "Women are lying, cheating whores"
Tidus and Wakka looked oddly at Auron. After a moment, Wakka spoke up. "That's...not something you usually say, Auron. You all right?"
"You've tapped into an angry past of mine" Auron replied.
They all paused for a moment. Tidus reached a hand out to Auron, who was just sitting there. "You all ri--"
"DON'T YOU TALK ABOUT MY MAMA!" Auron screamed, tackling Tidus. He began to throw heavy fists upon him. "SHE WAS A SAINT!"
"Auron what are ya doing?!" Wakka rushed over to Auron, trying to pull him away from Tidus.
Auron stopped and look over to Wakka. "You're right..." Auron reached for his sword and held it above Tidus. "You're through now, pretty boy!"
"AHH!" Screamed Tidus. He leapt out the window and began to run. "Must keep running...clown will eat me..."
-----
HUDSON RIVER
"I am known only as Raiden...I am the greatest FOXHOUND agent alive...and I shall keep it that way...TAKE THAT!" The agent Jack, or as better known by his alias, Raiden, quickly took a shot taking down a man. He leapt into the air with a kick to another, dodging an oncoming barrage of bullets.
"Curse you, Raiden, you much more handsome and incredibly awesome agent!" Gasped one guy, holding a hand over his wound. Raiden grinned as he fell over.
"Raiden..." Came another voice. A dark-haireds man dressed in an army uniform came over and kneeled. "You are truly greater than myself"
"Rise, Solid Snake" Replied Raiden with a grin. "You are inferior, this is true, but no need to treat me like royalty. Now do as I wish and get an army to conquer the world for me"
"Yes sir!" Replied Solid Snake. "Now please do me a favor sir, and wake up...wake up...wake up..."
---
"WHA?!" Raiden suddenly awoke with a fright. "Wha-where am I?"
"Of all the idiotic things...you were asleep?!" Barked the real Solid Snake. "I thought you were unconcious or hurt, and you were sleeping? What's wrong with you?!"
"I...uh..." Raiden looked around. "You're gonna hurt me, aren't you?"
Snake paused and gave a sigh. "No, just get out of here. I don't need you here anymore"
"What?!" Gasped Raiden. "Why?"
"Because you're a blond-haired sissy ass!" Barked Snake. "Now get out of here!"
Raiden paused and sniffed. "Fine...I DON'T NEED YOU!" He ran off, crying loudly. Snake gave a loud sigh at the departing Raiden.
-----
KANTO
"Pikachu, Thunderbolt!" Commanded Red Ketchum, the champion trainer of Kanto. He was defending his title at Mount Silver against another trainer.
"Pika...CHUUU!" Pikachu shot out a thunderbolt. It bounced off the opponent and did absolutely nothing. Pikachu let out a small sigh.
"Marowak, Bonemerang!" Commanded the opposing trainer.
"Maro...WAK!" The brown Pokémon with a bone helmet tossed a large beef-like bone from its hand at Pikachu. Pikachu was struck in the head and sent flying, knocked out.
"Yes, I did it! I won!" The opposing trainer cheered. "I won I won I won I won I wo--"
"BLASTOISE!" With a burst of water, Marowak was out.
"I lost..." Sighed the trainer. He recalled his Marowak and walked off.
"Pika pi pikachu!" Pikachu yelled at Red.
"What do you mean it was stupid to use you against a Ground type?" Asked Red.
"Pi pikachu pikachu pi!" Pikachu announced.
"Timmy's stuck in the well?!" Gasped Red.
Pikachu groaned and slapped his head. "Pika?" Pikachu looked over as with a crash, Mario, Fox and Link, the famous Nintendo characters from Super Smash Brothers, leapt in through the ceiling of the cave.
"We're the Super Smash Brothers Big Three!" Fox announced. "I'm Fox McCloud, he's Mario Mario and he's Link...uh... Linkerson" Fox shrugged and then began running at Pikachu. He quickly kicked him into the air with a running kick. Mario leapt into the air and punched him down, where Link was waiting with an arrow. Link then came forward with a slash, and Mario followed with a Cape swing, allowing Fox to come in with a Flip Kick launching Pikachu into the air. He came down, where he was barraged with Fireballs, Bombs and laser blasts. Mario grabbed Pikachu by his tail, spun him around and threw him out of the cave.
"GAME!" Announced a voice.
"We-a win. Let's go beat up Kirby" With that, Link stretched his hookshot into the hole in the ceiling of the cave. Mario and Fox held onto him and they all left.
"That was...really random" Red said. He looked as Pikachu hobbled back in, looking angry. "Uh...Pikachu? You all right?"
"CHUU!" Pikachu yelled, using Thunder on Red. Red gave a loud yell and fell over. Angrily, he stomped out of the cave.
-----
Meanwhile, Tidus was still leaving. "Yuna's cheating on me with that Final Fantasy 8 bastard, everyone who watches my game hates me, and now Auron's become a stinking drunk. I'm sick of having to be the hero who has to endure it all..."
"Why not go to the Villains Tournament and form a super villain team with evil people like Sephiroth and Bowser?" Asked a very deep voice behind him.
"That's it, mysterious voice behind me that I won't bother to turn around and see but will run off anyway!" With that, Tidus dashed off, sword in hand, to the Villains Tournament.
"Hey wait!" Called the voice behind him. There was nothing there...except for something two-feet tall, known as Kirby. "You didn't tell me how to get my voice back to normal!"
-----
Meanwhile again, Raiden was walking away. "Stupid Snake...I'll show...hey, it's Revolver Ocelot!" Raiden quickly hid behind a rock. "I'll have to shoot him right now...hey, what's this?"
Raiden reached out quickly and took a piece of paper with Revolver Ocelot's name written on top. "The Villains Tournament...if you're evil and you know it, come join. You might even form an evil partnership with the others to take over the world..." Raiden's face lit up with glee. "That's it! I'll find a bunch of evil guys like Bowser and Ganondorf, and join them to take over the world! That'll show Stupid Snake" Raiden grinned and leapt into Ocelot's car. "Hey Ocelot, take me to the Villains Tournament"
And now, flat on his ass, Raiden got to his feet. "Stupid Ocelot...now I gotta walk..."
-----
Pikachu was walking out of the cave to go to the river and get a drink of water. He was pretty angry at Red for not helping him out, and the fact that the Super Smash Brothers jumped him wasn't helping at all. He looked up as he saw a flying white-and-purple shape. "Pika?" He recognized it. "Pika pikachu!"
"Pikachu?" The shape flew down. He was white and had cat-like ears, only squared. Its midsection and long tail was purple. It looked to Pikachu, eyes glowing blue as it spoke telepathetically. "What is it that you ask of I, Mewtwo, who is introducing myself in case anyone is listening?"
"Pi pikachu pi?" Asked Pikachu.
"To the Villains Tournament" Replied Mewtwo. "As a former villain I am still eligable to go. I have to meet with Bowser Koopa and Ganondorf Dragmire anyway. I might rejoin them for world domination"
"Pika..." Pikachu grinned menacingly. He had an idea. "Pi pikachu?"
"Oh fine, I'll take you to the audience...but you can only watch" The blue light surrounded Pikachu as Mewtwo flew off, bringing Pikachu with him.
-------
PREVIEW OF NEXT CHAPTER
Tidus, Raiden and Pikachu arrive at the Villains Tournament to see the villains and try to start a menacing allyship with them. But what happens when it goes wrong? You'll see...
By Hayabusa Will (TheNameIsWill@AOL.Com)
Chapter One-Fuel
Of all the people to try and take over the world...there have been many. And for each, there has been a foil.
Bowser was one of the earliest, who tried his hardest and was defeated by Mario each time. Dr. Ivo "Eggman" Robotnik was beaten by Sonic the Hedgehog, no matter how good his plan was. Ganondorf Dragmire was defeated by the kid known as Link, and then, the adult known as Link. Dr. Wily was beaten badly by the robot called MegaMan. Lavos' plans were beaten by Crono, as Ryu had done to M.Bison. Dr. Neo Cortex met a defeat against Crash Bandicoot. The antics of Team Rocket were quickly stomped by one Red Ketchum and his organization, Team Rocket, Pokémon lineup. Sephiroth, thought to be one of the strongest villains to walk the Earth, was pounded by one Cloud Strife. And not even the greatest villain of all, the mighty CATS, couldn't stand up to ZIG-001.
However, what if there was a group of villains, one that didn't suck? What if this group was a different kind of villain, who allegedly couldn't be foiled?
Well, you all know of bad guys who have become good guys. ProtoMan, King Dedede, Magus, Wario. Even Bowser himself has been known to join Mario once or twice. But what about good guys who became bad guys? And not just to fool other good guys either? They had been driven to villainy, and proved to be stronger than they were as heroes, stronger than anyone could have ever expected. There was such a group. And this is their story.
---
ZANARKLAND
Tidus, the star Blitzball player, was signing autographs for his beloved fans after winning his team the game. He was just handing back an autograph to a small child when a voice yelled at him.
"Hey Tidus!" Screamed the voice. "YOU SUCK!"
"Why don't you come say that to my fa--" Tidus looked over and saw who it was. "Wait a minute, Sora? You're in the wrong game"
"Well, I can be in the wrong game because YOU SUCK!" Yelled Sora.
"I'd like to see you come down and do any better than me at Blitzball, if you think I suck much then" Replied Tidus, crossing his arms with a smirk.
"I don't need to prove anything to you, because YOU SUCK!" Sora continued.
The now enraged Tidus pointed a finger at Sora, speaking with a rather angry tone. "You're gonna shut up now, you stupid little son of a--"
"Calm down!" Wakka, coach of the Besaid Aurochs and friend to Tidus, quickly said. "He's just a stupid little kids. Stupid little kids don't understand. Ya know how they are"
"Oh fine" Tidus grumbled. He then walked off, still muttering to himself. "You know, between the constantly rising people who make fun of me at my games, and all this, it's getting kind of--WHAT THE?!" He stopped and gasped, as he saw Yuna standing in the arms with a dark-haired guy in a coat with a gun-sword next to him. "Yuna, what the hell?!"
"Tidus! I uh...was rehearsing for a play" Yuna quickly replied.
"Here? At my Blitzball game?" Tidus gasped. "And Squall Leonhart, you're in the wrong game! What is it with people being in the wrong game?!"
"We followed you here after Kingdom Hearts" Squall chuckled. "Me and Sora and Cloud that is"
"Oh, that jerk is here too?!" Tidus yelled angrily. "Why don't you all just go die somewhere?! I hate you all!" He ran away, sobbing.
-----
"So, Yuna cheated on you?" Asked Auron as he, Tidus and Wakka sat with a helping of Auron's sake. "Well, then I guess that's...that" He said as Wakka handed him a note. Auron unraveled it and read 'Icks-nay on the eating-chay'. Auron looked with an annoyed expression at Wakka, who was chucking nervously before throwing the note out the window before Tidus saw it.
"And with that stupid jerk..." Growled Tidus, putting down his cup. "Why did he have to follow me to my Blitzball Game?! Couldn't he just stay with that Seifer freak and...away from us?"
"Well, I'll tell you one thing" Auron said. "Women are lying, cheating whores"
Tidus and Wakka looked oddly at Auron. After a moment, Wakka spoke up. "That's...not something you usually say, Auron. You all right?"
"You've tapped into an angry past of mine" Auron replied.
They all paused for a moment. Tidus reached a hand out to Auron, who was just sitting there. "You all ri--"
"DON'T YOU TALK ABOUT MY MAMA!" Auron screamed, tackling Tidus. He began to throw heavy fists upon him. "SHE WAS A SAINT!"
"Auron what are ya doing?!" Wakka rushed over to Auron, trying to pull him away from Tidus.
Auron stopped and look over to Wakka. "You're right..." Auron reached for his sword and held it above Tidus. "You're through now, pretty boy!"
"AHH!" Screamed Tidus. He leapt out the window and began to run. "Must keep running...clown will eat me..."
-----
HUDSON RIVER
"I am known only as Raiden...I am the greatest FOXHOUND agent alive...and I shall keep it that way...TAKE THAT!" The agent Jack, or as better known by his alias, Raiden, quickly took a shot taking down a man. He leapt into the air with a kick to another, dodging an oncoming barrage of bullets.
"Curse you, Raiden, you much more handsome and incredibly awesome agent!" Gasped one guy, holding a hand over his wound. Raiden grinned as he fell over.
"Raiden..." Came another voice. A dark-haireds man dressed in an army uniform came over and kneeled. "You are truly greater than myself"
"Rise, Solid Snake" Replied Raiden with a grin. "You are inferior, this is true, but no need to treat me like royalty. Now do as I wish and get an army to conquer the world for me"
"Yes sir!" Replied Solid Snake. "Now please do me a favor sir, and wake up...wake up...wake up..."
---
"WHA?!" Raiden suddenly awoke with a fright. "Wha-where am I?"
"Of all the idiotic things...you were asleep?!" Barked the real Solid Snake. "I thought you were unconcious or hurt, and you were sleeping? What's wrong with you?!"
"I...uh..." Raiden looked around. "You're gonna hurt me, aren't you?"
Snake paused and gave a sigh. "No, just get out of here. I don't need you here anymore"
"What?!" Gasped Raiden. "Why?"
"Because you're a blond-haired sissy ass!" Barked Snake. "Now get out of here!"
Raiden paused and sniffed. "Fine...I DON'T NEED YOU!" He ran off, crying loudly. Snake gave a loud sigh at the departing Raiden.
-----
KANTO
"Pikachu, Thunderbolt!" Commanded Red Ketchum, the champion trainer of Kanto. He was defending his title at Mount Silver against another trainer.
"Pika...CHUUU!" Pikachu shot out a thunderbolt. It bounced off the opponent and did absolutely nothing. Pikachu let out a small sigh.
"Marowak, Bonemerang!" Commanded the opposing trainer.
"Maro...WAK!" The brown Pokémon with a bone helmet tossed a large beef-like bone from its hand at Pikachu. Pikachu was struck in the head and sent flying, knocked out.
"Yes, I did it! I won!" The opposing trainer cheered. "I won I won I won I won I wo--"
"BLASTOISE!" With a burst of water, Marowak was out.
"I lost..." Sighed the trainer. He recalled his Marowak and walked off.
"Pika pi pikachu!" Pikachu yelled at Red.
"What do you mean it was stupid to use you against a Ground type?" Asked Red.
"Pi pikachu pikachu pi!" Pikachu announced.
"Timmy's stuck in the well?!" Gasped Red.
Pikachu groaned and slapped his head. "Pika?" Pikachu looked over as with a crash, Mario, Fox and Link, the famous Nintendo characters from Super Smash Brothers, leapt in through the ceiling of the cave.
"We're the Super Smash Brothers Big Three!" Fox announced. "I'm Fox McCloud, he's Mario Mario and he's Link...uh... Linkerson" Fox shrugged and then began running at Pikachu. He quickly kicked him into the air with a running kick. Mario leapt into the air and punched him down, where Link was waiting with an arrow. Link then came forward with a slash, and Mario followed with a Cape swing, allowing Fox to come in with a Flip Kick launching Pikachu into the air. He came down, where he was barraged with Fireballs, Bombs and laser blasts. Mario grabbed Pikachu by his tail, spun him around and threw him out of the cave.
"GAME!" Announced a voice.
"We-a win. Let's go beat up Kirby" With that, Link stretched his hookshot into the hole in the ceiling of the cave. Mario and Fox held onto him and they all left.
"That was...really random" Red said. He looked as Pikachu hobbled back in, looking angry. "Uh...Pikachu? You all right?"
"CHUU!" Pikachu yelled, using Thunder on Red. Red gave a loud yell and fell over. Angrily, he stomped out of the cave.
-----
Meanwhile, Tidus was still leaving. "Yuna's cheating on me with that Final Fantasy 8 bastard, everyone who watches my game hates me, and now Auron's become a stinking drunk. I'm sick of having to be the hero who has to endure it all..."
"Why not go to the Villains Tournament and form a super villain team with evil people like Sephiroth and Bowser?" Asked a very deep voice behind him.
"That's it, mysterious voice behind me that I won't bother to turn around and see but will run off anyway!" With that, Tidus dashed off, sword in hand, to the Villains Tournament.
"Hey wait!" Called the voice behind him. There was nothing there...except for something two-feet tall, known as Kirby. "You didn't tell me how to get my voice back to normal!"
-----
Meanwhile again, Raiden was walking away. "Stupid Snake...I'll show...hey, it's Revolver Ocelot!" Raiden quickly hid behind a rock. "I'll have to shoot him right now...hey, what's this?"
Raiden reached out quickly and took a piece of paper with Revolver Ocelot's name written on top. "The Villains Tournament...if you're evil and you know it, come join. You might even form an evil partnership with the others to take over the world..." Raiden's face lit up with glee. "That's it! I'll find a bunch of evil guys like Bowser and Ganondorf, and join them to take over the world! That'll show Stupid Snake" Raiden grinned and leapt into Ocelot's car. "Hey Ocelot, take me to the Villains Tournament"
And now, flat on his ass, Raiden got to his feet. "Stupid Ocelot...now I gotta walk..."
-----
Pikachu was walking out of the cave to go to the river and get a drink of water. He was pretty angry at Red for not helping him out, and the fact that the Super Smash Brothers jumped him wasn't helping at all. He looked up as he saw a flying white-and-purple shape. "Pika?" He recognized it. "Pika pikachu!"
"Pikachu?" The shape flew down. He was white and had cat-like ears, only squared. Its midsection and long tail was purple. It looked to Pikachu, eyes glowing blue as it spoke telepathetically. "What is it that you ask of I, Mewtwo, who is introducing myself in case anyone is listening?"
"Pi pikachu pi?" Asked Pikachu.
"To the Villains Tournament" Replied Mewtwo. "As a former villain I am still eligable to go. I have to meet with Bowser Koopa and Ganondorf Dragmire anyway. I might rejoin them for world domination"
"Pika..." Pikachu grinned menacingly. He had an idea. "Pi pikachu?"
"Oh fine, I'll take you to the audience...but you can only watch" The blue light surrounded Pikachu as Mewtwo flew off, bringing Pikachu with him.
-------
PREVIEW OF NEXT CHAPTER
Tidus, Raiden and Pikachu arrive at the Villains Tournament to see the villains and try to start a menacing allyship with them. But what happens when it goes wrong? You'll see...