Disclaimer: I do not own Star Wars, nor do I want to. I'm not sure I could handle fans as messed up as me. None of the characters belong to me either, not even the tiny bugs in the forest so please don't yell at me if they don't know how to behave. I am just a tool with the sole purpose of cranking out useless drivel to entertain myself and hopefully a few others in this day of Luke and Mara starvation.

Summary: Luke discovers a person forgotten from his childhood. However, when his past meets his present strange things develop. How Luke deals with it could directly affect the course of his future.

Setting: This story takes place sometime in the Star Wars universe. Where exactly I don't know, but definitely after Darksaber and before the events in The Hand of Thrawn Doulogy. I tend not to follow a strict timeline so you do the math.

Thanks to my wonderful beta Sherry!!!! For putting up with me through this one. You are the best!

Chapter 14

Leia paced the space of the room, finding it ironic that she was once again forced to wait on word of Luke's condition. It seemed like only a few days ago that they had done the same thing. It was hard to believe it had been more then a month since she had been in the same exact situation. They were not back on Coruscant, Mara had suggested that they stop and get Luke checked out sooner then the trip back would have allowed. Leia had agreed and they had decided to stop on a planet that Mara knew very well. A planet, in fact, that housed one of Karrde larger bases. She was well known there, and there would be no problems keeping their visit a secret.

Leia sighed and looked around the room, wondering when they would hear anything. Han was sitting in a chair flipping through a book, while Mara was standing at the window. No one spoke, but Leia knew they were both as worried as her. There were others as well. Wedge made her promise that they would send word of Luke's condition as soon as they could. Despite the fact that Luke had lots of friends in Rogue Squadron, they still had a job to do and could not stay and wait this time.

Waiting… it was the hardest thing Leia had ever had to do. She had no idea what condition her brother had really been in, and would not know until someone came out and told them. As it turned out, the wait was not long, barely an hour after they arrived, a doctor came out to talk to them.

"How is he?" Leia asked. She had to shuck of the feeling of familiarity as she asked the question yet again. The doctor waited until Mara and Han made their way over before beginning his description.

"He'll be fine," the human male doctor informed them. "He's awake, and responsive. We do want to keep him under observation for a day or so to make sure."

"Can we see him?" Leia asked. She was overcome with relief at hearing for once Luke had no physical damage. She was very aware, however, about the amount of emotional damage he may be suffering through. All she wanted to do was get to him, let him know that she was there for him and that he was safe. He needed her now more then ever.

"Yes, of course," the doctor said. Leia and Han started down the hall. Leia glanced back when she noticed that neither Mara nor the doctor had followed them. Mara was still in the waiting room talking quietly with the doctor. Leia turned and continued her journey, figuring if it was something that Mara wanted her to know about, she would tell them later.

She arrived at the door, and pushed it open. The room was dark, the only light bright enough to illuminate the room was located above Luke's bed. Luke was sitting up in his bed, a pillow tucked comfortably behind his head. His face was passive and his eyes were closed. He was thinner then he used to be, making it obvious that he had not eaten much over the last month. His face was drawn, and his skin was pale, but he was alive.

Luke opened his eyes, and Leia noticed Han shift uncomfortably when Luke looked up at them. She felt sorry for him. Han had expressed his guilt for everything that he had witnessed. And no matter how much she tried to console him, Leia could not convince him not to worry about how Luke would react now that it's over.

"Luke, I'm so glad you're alright," Leia said softly. She walked over to him and sat lightly on the edge of the bed. She turned worried eyes on him and wished there was anything she could do to take the pain out of his eyes.

"I'm fine Leia," he whispered. He cleared his throat and took a sip out of the cup sitting beside him.

"Is there anything we can do?" Leia asked. "Is there anything you need?"

"Nothing." Luke closed his eyes again, letting his head roll to the side. He forced his eyes open again and tried to keep them open.

"You must be tired," Leia observed. She patted his hand then stood, meaning to leave the room. "We'll let you rest." They started out the door, Leia's emotions swirling inside her. She was trying to sort them out when something occurred to her. She turned once again to look at her brother. "Luke, there's someone else here that wants to see you."

"Who?" Luke asked, curiosity causing him to open his eyes again.

"Mara." Luke cringed when she spoke her name, and Leia found that very odd. Mara would want to see him as soon as she was done with the doctor. She had been with her though all this and would not leave until she knew Luke would be all right. "She's been right there looking for you every day since we lost you. She needs to see you, so she knows you are alright."

"If you say so," Luke said, with a shrug, resting his head against the pillow tiredly.

---

Mara was waiting outside the door when Leia and Han reentered the hallway. She moved forward once she got a nod from Leia. It took one look at their faces to know that this would probably not be a cheerful visit. Not that she really expected Luke to be one hundred percent after his ordeal. He was pretty out of it when they found him, and it was useless to hope that he had recovered this quickly. Though Mara had to admit that she would not have been upset if it turned out that he did not remember any of it.

At first glance, once she was in the room, it seemed like Luke was sleeping. His eyes were closed and his breathing was steady. She walked further into the room and let the door close, timidly walking over and sitting on the edge of the bed. He stirred and opened his eyes. It pained her to see how drawn out he looked.

"Hi," she whispered, unable to think of anything else to say. He watched her curiously, his eyes darting from her hand on the bed up to her face.

"Hello," Luke said, but offered nothing else in the form of conversation, and did not seem in the mood for company. However, he never took his eyes off her. Mara found it curious that he did not look away, not even for a moment. It was like he was afraid that if he did not keep her in his sights she would vanish. Mara suppressed a smile at that thought. It was silly to think he would be worried about something like that. He had been through a lot, and he was just tired. His need for rest was surly the reason for his strange behavior.

"How are you feeling?" Mara asked. She was more then willing to give him time alone, but first she needed to make sure he would be all right. After weeks of looking for him, there was no way she could relax without that information. The look his eyes told her that he was not well, but she wanted to hear what he had to say about it. Mara wished more then she had ever for anything before that there was something that she could do to help him through this. But she knew there was very little she could do.

"I'm alive," he finally uttered. His gaze finally left her face and dropped to the sheets, but then shot straight back up to her face. The look in his eyes changed in that moment, and Mara suddenly felt uneasy. He was still watching her closely, but she was sure she now saw concern hidden behind those eyes. "How are you doing?" he asked.

"Me?" she asked. The question shocked her. She had been so worried about him for so long that the last thing she expected was for him to be worried about her. "I'm fine," she told him, with a smile. "I'm more worried about you." He seemed to consider that for a moment then sighed.

"Don't worry about me. I just want to be left alone…" His eyes drooped before he caught himself. "I'm tired."

"I'll let you sleep." When Luke did not speak, Mara stood from the bed. She gave his hand a squeeze before turning and walking out of the room. She returned to the hallway where Han and Leia were waiting.

"How is he?" Han asked. He offered her his seat and she took it gratefully. He feet where beginning to ach and she found that it helped to stay off of them whenever she could.

"He's sleeping," Mara told them. "He's not very talkative, not that I blame him though." She shook her head trying to make sense of what was happening. In a matter of months, her life as well as many others had been turned upside down. She ran her fingers through her hair and sighed. "But this is too much," she continued, not really caring if anyone was listening to her. She had a lot on her mind and needed to voice it. "Luke should not have to be going through this. He should be sitting in that Temple subjecting those poor students to another lecture. Not here."

"He's fine now, Mara," Han told her. He had moved to stand next to Leia, his hand rested lightly on her shoulder. It was meant to comfort her, and Mara could almost imagine just how little it helped, but how much it meant to know that she had that person to lean on. "He just needs some time," Han continued. "And right now we can give him all the time he needs. Lets go and get something to eat."

"I know," Mara said. "You're right." Solo was not saying anything that she had not already thought about. But none of that helped her relax, and she knew she could not until she knew for a fact that Luke would be all right.

"I know I am," Han said with a smile. He dropped the subject and looked questionably at his wife.

"I'm going to wait here," she informed him in response to his unspoken question. "In case he needs something. You two go on ahead, I'll be here when you get back."

"Now come on Leia, you need to eat too," Han insisted. It took one look into that worried face and he backed down. "Would you like me to bring you back something?"

"Sure," she said, and then looked up into his face. "Yes, please. That would be great Han, thank you."

----

Luke lay awake in his bed. He had been doing so throughout the night and now found it was early morning. Leia had come into the room three times already, and each time he had pretended to be asleep. He knew she just wanted to speak to him, but he did not feel like talking to anyone. Leia wouldn't understand, Luke knew. Han had been bothered with too much of it already, and he could not face talking to Mara.

He had been really groggy when he had first awakened, but he vaguely recalled talking to all of them. Luke didn't recall what was said though, and was not too worried about not remembering. The more he did not remember, the better. All he wanted to do was sleep, to sleep so he did not have to think. But even then, he couldn't get away. His sleep was invaded by dreams, dreams of everything that had happened to him over the last few months.

His thoughts were interrupted when the door to his room opened. He slammed his eyes close and calmed his breathing, hoping once again that to the visitor it would seem as if he was indeed sleeping. Luke could hear someone shuffling around the room, but no one came to sit by the bed the way Leia normally did. He felt a blanket go over his legs and he opened his eyes.

"I thought you might have been cold." It was not Leia. The lady standing at the end of his bed was much older then Leia, and was wearing a uniform he now associated with the nurses in this particular med center. She picked up his chart and made a note on it. Then quickly placed it back in its holder. She smiled as she walked quietly over to the side of his bed and sat in the chair. Luke could not help but look at her curiously. "You look like you have been through the fire and back, my young one," the older woman said gently. "You also look as though you need an extra ear."

"Thank you," Luke said, realizing it was just another attempt to get him to talk about things he did not wish to. "I just want to be alone."

"Yes, I can understand that," she said, nodding her head knowingly. "But what would you accomplish by locking such a tragedy up in a caring heart."

"My family has been though enough because of me," Luke admitted. He had no idea why he was telling a stranger such things, however he found her very easy to talk to, and it felt good to say something.

"You would bear the brut of this wrongful deed to save your family pain?" She asked, tilting her head towards him.

"I would die here and now if I thought it would save my family from feeling such pain." And Luke knew, deep in his heart, that he meant every word of that. It tore him apart to know how much Leia had to have worried during all this time. How much Han had worried while trapped in that cell with him, having to watch, and not being able to help Luke when he needed it most. He could not even begin to think how he would have dealt with the same situation. And Mara...Well he tried not even to think about that.

"That's very noble of you," the woman informed him. She sat quietly in her chair for a few heartbeats. Smiling before she sat forward. "So talk to someone outside of your family. I am willing to listen, if you care to accept the gift."

Luke took a deep breath, taking a few moments to think. "Where did they put the things I can in with?" He suddenly asked.

"Probably in the closet," she said slowly. "Is there something you need?"

"My jacket," Luke said.

"Why dear?" she said, shaking her head. "You cannot leave yet."

"I'm not," Luke said, smiling at her misunderstanding. "I need something out of the pocket." The woman fetched his jacket and he fished around in the pockets until he found the envelope he was looking for. "Could you do me a favor? Could you give this to someone for me?"

"Who?"

"The woman that has been in here to visit me," Luke said. Then realized that there was more then one woman waiting outside. "She's outside with my sister. You can't miss her, red hair, green eyes. Her name is Mara."

"I can do that for you," the woman said. "As long as you promise me that you will sleep, and not just pretend to be sleeping."

"Deal." Luke settled in but then realized that the woman had not moved from the chair. He looked at her curiously. "Was there anything else?" he asked.

"No, nothing," the woman said. She was smiling again and Luke could not help but wonder what was going on in her head. "I'm just going to sit here until you fall asleep. That way you will not be alone."

"You don't have to do that," Luke insisted. However he closed his eyes as she took his hand. "But thank you."

----

The elderly nurse sat by his bed, stroking his hand until she was sure he was asleep. Then, with a contented sigh, she stood and exited the room. He was a sweet man, and it broke her heart to see anyone in his condition. He would not talk to her, but she could still see the pain in his eyes. His physical needs would be well taken care of, she just hoped that there was someone that he would let help him though his emotional pain. However, she knew that there was very little she could do. Sighing, she hoped he would seek out the help he needed. Walking into the waiting room, she saw a couple sitting at a table, talking.

"Leia," the man was saying, his voice almost a plea. "All I am saying is that you could have handled that better. You made it sound like she was not allowed to go in to see him."

"But Han, he does not want to see anyone," the woman addressed as Leia countered.

"And I can understand that," Han said. "In fact, I don't blame him. Which is why I have not tried to go in there. The fact of the matter is, you have been going in there, and every time Mara tried, you stopped her. She may have gotten the wrong idea."

"I did not mean to upset her," Leia said. Her gaze dropped to the arm of the chair. "I didn't realize that what I said came out that way."

"Excuse me," the woman interrupted. She felt bad about listening in on their conversation, and wanted to do what she came in there to do.

"Can we help you?" Leia asked. Looking up at the nurse she knew was looking after Luke. Her heart immediately leaped to her throat thinking something had happened. She reached out to Luke and found him sleeping peacefully. She smiled at that. She had seen him sleeping, but he had always been blocking, this was the first time she could feel him since he woke up.

"I did not mean to intrude," the nurse insisted. "But I needed to talk to you."

"That's alright," Han said. "Is everything all right? Is Luke alright?"

"He's fine," she said, dismissing his worries with a wave of her hand. "He's asleep right now. He asked me to give this to the young lady, Mara." The woman said, holding out the envelope.

"She's not here," Leia said, throwing a bewildered look towards her husband. She now felt extra guilty for her actions now that Luke was asking about her. There had to be something she could do to set things right. "But you can give it to us." The woman seemed to think about it, and with some hesitation she handed over the envelope.

"Ok," she said, eyeing them carefully. "But he said this was only for her."

"I understand," Leia assured her. "We'll take care of it."

"Thank you." The woman offered one last smile then exited the room as quietly as she had entered. Leia looked at the plain white envelope and wondered what was inside. It felt like a holodisk, however that did not clear anything up. Luke could be giving Mara anything.

"I wonder what it is," Han said, looking at the object in his wife's hands.

"I don't know," Leia said. Han got the message and dropped the subject.

"Come on Leia," he finally said, taking Leia's free hand. "He's sleeping. Let's go get something to eat. You can check on him when we get back."

Leia let Han lead her out of the room, knowing that Luke would be fine while she was gone, but still not wanting to leave. She figured it would do no harm in getting something to eat, he would sleep most of the night, and really did not need her there bothering her.

-----


It was a few hours later that Han and Leia returned to the waiting room. They were walking hand in hand but they both were visibly upset. Han looked at his wife, waiting to see what she had to say. He did not want to make her feel bad, but he knew she would any way.

"I feel so bad," Leia told her husband, and he had to keep his smile in check. "I really didn't think she would leave."

"This is Mara we are talking about," he tried to explain for the third time since they left their room. "I'm not surprised. She never stays where she feels she's not wanted." After their meal, Han was able to talk Leia into going back to their room for a rest. Upon arriving, they found a note under the door. Han knew it was coming, but it still seemed like a blow. He remembered when Leia got the letter; he knew it was bad by looking at her face. And Mara, true to form, kept it short and to the point.

Han and Leia,

Something came up and I had to leave. You are booked on a shuttle back to Coruscant as soon as he is able to travel. Tell Luke I will be in contact soon. Take care of him.
Mara

"So what do we do with this?" Han asked her, holding out the envelope.

"We'll give it back to him," Leia said, taking it out of his hands. She did not look happy, but there was nothing else they could do. "Whatever it is, he can give it to her when she comes around again." Taking the envelope, Leia crossed the hall and quietly entered Luke's room. He was lying on the bed, eyes closed, breathing softly. Trying not to wake him, Leia placed the envelope inside Luke's bag of belongings, and turned, disappointed, to leave the room.

"Leia?" the voice was soft and weak, but still Luke's. She turned, trying not to cry and saw him watching her. Walking quickly to the side of his bed, she tried to keep herself calm, when what she wanted to do was laugh and hug him. He was awake!

"Luke," she said just as softly. "I thought you were sleeping."

"I was," he said, reaching over to scratch his left arm. "Were you leaving?"

"Would you like me to stay?" she asked…she tried not to sound too hopeful, but wasn't really sure she pulled it off.

"Please." Luke said, and tried to sit up. Leia was at his side in an instant. With an arm around his back she helped him forward, then placed a pillow behind his back. "Thank you."

"How are you feeling?" Leia asked.

"Better then I was, I guess," Luke said. He looked at the blankets for a moment, his face looking as if he was debating something in his mind. "I'm sorry for the way I have been acting. I had a few things I needed to sort out." He paused again, and then sighed. "I didn't feel like talking about it. Therefore, I just did not talk to anyone."

"Don't be sorry, Luke," Leia told him, her heart breaking at the thought that he though he had anything to be sorry for. "You need time, and you will get all the time you need."

"Leia, is everything ok?" Came the voice from the door. Leia smiled. She was not sure how Han did it, but he always knew when something was going on. She noted that the smile Luke had been giving her vanished and he turned his head as Han walked in. If Han noticed, he did not show it.

"Hey, kid," Han said cheerfully. "How you feeling? Good to see you awake." When Luke did not look at him, Han looked worried. Leia thought she would have to say something, but her husband was faster then that. "Luke, don't worry about it. It is not your fault."

"I know that," Luke said.

"I'm glad," Han said with a nod. "Because I would hate to think that what she did would make you feel as if you cannot talk to me anymore. You are one of my best friends, and I would like to keep it that way. What I saw is forgotten. So don't worry about it any longer."

This time Luke did look at him. A small smile tugged at his lips. "Thank you, Han."

"Well, alright then," Han said happily. "Now we just have to convince these doctors that you are ready to go home."

Leia sat in the chair smiling. She had been worried about how Luke would handle seeing Han. She knew Han was worried about it too. They both should have known that Luke was stronger then that. He would bounce back from this like he did everything else. Han was right though; Luke did need to be at home. He would heal much faster around his loved ones. Suddenly Luke looked up as if confused.

"Where's Mara?" he asked. "I can't find her."

"Oh, Luke. It's time to rest now," Leia said, glancing at her husband.

"Yes," Han said nervously. "You have had enough visitors for now."

"No," Luke insisted, his voice becoming stronger. "You didn't answer my question. Where is Mara? I know she was here."

Leia took a deep breath, knowing she would not like how this was going to turn out. "She left Luke," Leia said in a soft voice.

"She left?" Luke asked, his voice full of pain. "When?"

"Early this morning," Leia continued. "She left us a note saying that something came up and she would be talking to you soon."

"That's it. Just said that something came up, and left?"

"I'm sure it was important," Leia tried to sooth.

"Yes, I am sure it was," Luke said. He sighed, and slumped back in his bed. "You know, you are right. I do feel tired. I need to rest."

Confused, Leia and Han took the hint and left the room. Leia had expected a reaction out of Luke, but instead he had completely closed himself off. That was more then enough to make Leia worry.

TBC...