By Skywalker's Dream
September 2000
Revised January 2002

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Wars, nor do I want to. I'm not sure I could handle fans as messed up as me. None of the characters belong to me either, not even the tiny bugs in the forest so please don't yell at me if they don't know how to behave. I am just a tool with the sole purpose of cranking out useless drivel to entertain myself and hopefully a few others in this day of Luke and Mara starvation.

Summary: Luke discovers a person forgotten from his childhood. However, when his past meets his present strange things develop. How Luke deals with it could directly affect the course of his future.

Setting: This story takes place sometime in the Star Wars universe. Where exactly I don't know, but definitely after Darksaber and before the events in The Hand of Thrawn Doulogy. I tend not to follow a strict timeline so you do the math.

Thanks to my wonderful beta Sherry!!!! For putting up with me through this one. You are the best!

A/N: Ooops I cant believe I forgot to post the last chapter. Sorry!!!

Chapter 18

Corran had the good since to know that Luke and Mara needed some time alone. He was not the only one that could see the strain still on that friendship. Mara had not asked him for privacy, but he was willing to give it. They needed time to work out their troubles. Luke could not afford to lose his friends right now, and needed to have Mara close, no matter if he wanted to deny that fact or not. Because of that reason Corran had remained out of sight, not seeking out Luke until the Jedi Master appeared in the mess hall later that day. He looked tired and drawn, but relieved somehow. Like some part of the weight he had been carrying was gone. Corran hoped that he was not just imagining the change in his friend and in fact his talk with Mara had helped him.

"Luke," Corran said, approaching his side. "Can I talk to you for a second?"

"That's why I came down here," Luke stated. There was no mistaking it that time. Corran was sure that he saw the hint of a smile there. No drastic turn around here, but it was a defiant start. "What can I do for you Corran?"

"Did you talk to Mara?" Corran asked though he already knew the answer. Mara had been determined to not leave him alone until he talked to her. He would not be standing there if he had dodged another talk. "Is everything alright?"

"Everything is fine," Luke said quietly. "Thank you for your concern."

"Not a problem at all," Corran assured him. "I was worried about you. You have not been yourself lately, when Mara asked me to come here with her, I was jumping to go."

"Yeah," Luke said with a nod. "With Mara and Leia asking you to check up on me, it's hard to say no."

"I never said I talked to Leia," Corran insisted, trying not to look as guilty as he suddenly felt.

"You're right," Luke agreed. "You didn't. I just know my sister."

"Good," Corran said. Luke did not look upset. He did not look as sad as he had, and not angry about Corran being there. That was a good sign. "I hope you understand that she said I had to take you out, that you need to be around friends."

"And so she can have me back on Coruscant," Luke finished for him.

"I don't know about all that," Corran said with a shrug. "But you know you don't have to stay. Just one night out, it'll be fun."

"Sure why not," Luke finally said after a moment of silence that Corran had been sure would have turned into an excuse. "Mara already said I had to agree with whatever you wanted to talk to me about."

"You would rather keep all your fingers too huh?" Corran asked, thrilled when Luke smiled.

"Exactly."

----

It was late in the afternoon when Han and Chewie arrived at the hanger to meet Lando. He was coming because Han had invited him, so he thought it was only proper for him to meet him. That and it gave him a reason to get out of the apartment and away from Leia's preparations. They had gathered up their friend and where heading back out of the hanger when Chewie stopped them with a growl.

"What Chewie," Han asked, looking around. "Where?"

Chewie growled again, and Han's head whipped around to see what had gotten the Wookie so excited. He smiled when he saw Luke talking with Mara. He had not seen his brother in law in two weeks. Corran had convinced him to come out with them one night. But that night was not a huge success. Luke was still withdrawn and on edge. He left the pub early and was heading back to Yavin the next morning.

"What?" Lando asked, looking around to see what had caught their attention.

"Shhhhh. Look," Han instructed and they all fell silent. Unsure of what was drawing him to the conclusion that he should not have walked right over there and trapped Luke in a hug, Han tried to figure out what they were talking about that kept them so unaware of their surroundings that they did not notice the trio.

Luke and Mara stood facing each other. They were too far away to hear what they were saying, but the three of them could clearly see what they were doing. Luke slowly took Mara's hand and Mara smiled. That was a surprise all in itself, but when Mara stepped close and they started kissing, three jaws hit the floor. Mara's hands went around Luke's neck and Luke's hands went around her waist.

"I knew it!" Han exclaimed, excited over this turn of events, even if he shouldn't have found out this way. "About time."

Then Luke pushed away, with a very disturbed look on his face. He stared at Mara. She said something to him and he dropped his gaze and shook his head. Mara took one more step forward and put her hand on his cheek. He said something else, turned, and left, heading slightly in their direction. Mara balled her fists in what looked like frustration, and then went after him. About half way across the floor she caught up with him, grabbed his arm, and spun him around.

"OK, Luke out with it," she hissed. "What's going on with you? I'm tired of you saying nothing is wrong. Talk to me."

"I'm sorry Mara," Luke said quietly. "I just can't. I couldn't do that to you."

"Luke you cannot keep doing this," Mara insisted. "It's not fair to you, or me." She added quietly. "This is all her fault!"

"Mara, please," Luke pleaded, touching her arm. "Don't do this."

"If not Callista, then what?" Mara asked. "I can't help you if I don't know what the problem is."

"You don't understand... I can't." He sounded miserable, even from the distance Han was still standing. Whatever was still bothering the Jedi weighed heavily on his mind. Now he knew, without a doubt that the kid needed some help.

"You're right I don't understand," Mara shouted. "But I would if you would tell me!"

Luke shook his head. His eyes downcast while he spoke. "Please understand this," he continued to plea with her. "I can't right now…I'm sorry." He backed away from her and continued out the door without looking back.

"Jedi!" Yes. Defiantly frustration. With an angry growl Mara turned and exited the hanger from the other direction, neither of them knowing they had an audience.

"What the hell was that all about?" Lando asked.

"I think I know," Han admitted. He had thought about this before, about why Luke and Mara had never gotten together. He had thought that maybe Mara would not admit her feelings, or that neither of them would. It surprised him that it was Luke that was holding back.

"You think you know?" Lando asked. He knew just as much as anyone else that Han was privy to more about the Jedi Master than any of. For him not to know what was going on was indeed strange. "He never talked to you or Leia?"

"Not to me," Han admitted with a shrug. "And if he did to Leia, she never said anything to me about it."

"What ever it is, he is really upset about it," Lando pointed out, looking back towards the direction Luke had disappeared through.

"He was doing great for a while there," Han said, feeling the familiar pain when thinking about the kid. He wanted to help. He always wanted to help, but it seemed more often than not there was nothing he could do. That more than anything bothered him to distraction.

"What like one day?" Lando asked, sarcasm dripping from every word. He felt like his eyes would pop out of his head at the gall of that statement, but he let it pass. There were some things that Lando did not realize he said wrong and no amount of pointing it out to him would make him see reason.

"Nice," Han sighed, before turning away. "I'm going to see what I can do." With purpose in his step, Han followed the Jedi trying to catch up with him. He finally did as Luke was walking past the hanger doors where he had landed the Falcon.

"Hey kid!" He yelled, trying to catch the Jedi's attention.

"Not now Han," came the reply without him turning around. It looked like Luke had all intentions of leaving once again and not talking to him.

"I really need to talk to you," Han called out.

Luke looked down at the ground and took a deep breath, gathering himself together before slowly turning to face Han. His eyes looked clouded, almost sad.

"Sure Han," Luke said, his voice soft. Now that he had the kid's attention he was unsure what to do with it.

"Come on," Han finally said, putting his arm around the others shoulders. "We'll go talk in the Falcon."

They walked in silence towards the ship. Han's mind was whirling as he tried to think of something to say that would possibly help the kid. Without a word, they boarded the ship and made themselves comfortable in the lounge.

"OK kid," Han finally said, sipping at his drink. "What is going on with you?"

"I don't want to talk about me, Han," he said. There was that sad shake of the head. Did he even realize how he looked to everyone around him? He just screamed that he needed help.

"You know that I can't make you talk," Han admitted. "But think about this. Here I am, and I'm willing to listen." Han leaned forward and caught Luke's stormy eyes. "You know there is no reason to fear telling me. If this is about what I think it is, I feel I'm the best person to talk to. I won't tell anyone if that is what you want."

"But Han," Luke protested.

"No, Luke, listen," Han interrupted. "I'm not even going to pretend that I know what you are going through. But I do know that Mara looked like she was ready to put a blast hole in you. Now that's not all that different than how she normally looks, but it's clear that something was up."

"You saw all that?" Luke asked, eyes wide.

"Yes," Han said. He thought he saw a blush color those cheeks. But that was not what he was trying to do. The last thing he wanted was to embarrass the kid. "So, you have someone here to talk to. It's up to you if you want to take advantage of it."

"How much did you hear?" Luke asked.

"Not much," Han assured him gently. He did not want to scare him away. "You two were too far away. We saw you two talking, then kissing, and then you freaking out and running away." Han waited, knowing Luke should had realized that Han told him he was not the only one that saw this, but Luke did not call him on it. Instead he sat there, silent and brooding. "So, I ask again, what is going on?"

Luke studied his hands lying on his lap for a minute, eyes never leaving the intertwined digits. Han was almost convinced that Luke was not going to say anything.

"Do you really want to hear about this?" The Jedi finally asked, eyes moving to rest on him. "Do you really want to know what I'm thinking?"

"If it will help you," Han said. "Yes." Again the silence, the total lack of movement. But the tale started. Soft and low at first, to the point that Han had to lean forward so that he could hear the soft spoken words.

"Do you remember when Mara and I were held prisoner on Nivina?" Luke asked.

"Yes," Han told him, nodding his head, thinking he was starting to understand. "That's what this is about... You said you thought you were tortured then too."

"That's not the best word to describe what we went through..." Luke said, sounding extremely uncomfortable. "I have only told two other people about this." He took a deep breath, and Han suddenly knew that this was going to be one story he would not want to miss.

----

Han sat alone onboard the Falcon long after Luke had left. He thought that the talk had helped Luke. The kid had been keeping all that inside all this time and it seemed that talking had helped him sort it all out. Now, though, Han was bothered with what he knew. Mara's baby was Luke's. Luke had found this out while he and Han were held on Nivina, and Luke had never said anything.

Luke was justifiably confused as to what to do now. He knew he had feelings for Mara, but was afraid she would think that he was doing it all just because she was pregnant, or that it was the only reason she wanted to be with him. Han tried to point out that they had chosen each other while they were under the influence of the drug. Before Mara became pregnant. Luke had considered that, but still did not seem convinced. He said he was going home to meditate for a while, that maybe things would become clear. Luke had made Han swear not to say anything to Leia about the baby. He wanted to tell her, but he also wanted to be able to answer the questions that she was bound to have, and right now, he couldn't do that.

----

It was two days later that Luke sat on the large sofa in Han and Leia's apartment watching the crowd of his friends talking. Han had come up with the idea that they needed to get together again. Saying that the first one was such a hit, he wanted to have another, and everyone agreed. So once again everyone had gathered in the large apartment of the Solo's. Wedge stood to one side with a few pilots from the Rouge's, Hobbie, Wes Jenson, and Corran Horn. Gavin stood next to his cousin Biggs, who returned to Coruscant once again just to attend the party. Han sat on another sofa talking with Lando and Chewie. Leia was busy with the girls, Winter, Marix, and Mara. They were discussing something intense by the looks on their faces. Mara, probably feeling his eyes on her, turned and smiled, Luke smiled back.

"So, I see she took the news well." Luke looked up to see Biggs sit next to him. Across from him, Lando and Chewie got up and walked to the small bar in the corner. Leave Luke sitting there alone with Biggs and Han. The two men that sat side by side as his best friends.

"What, did you talk to her again?" Han asked in a whisper, sitting on the other side of Luke.

"No," Luke said with a sigh. "I told her a few days ago, before I told you, and that was the last I spoke to her." Luke had to laugh as Han suddenly stood, taking hold of his face turning it this way and that, inspecting him closely before sitting back down.

"Hey and you are still alive, no bruises," Han said, nodding his approval. "She took it better than I would have thought."

"What do you mean?" Biggs asked, turning towards him. "What'd you think she'd do?"

"Worst case," Han said with a shrug. "She'd shoot him, but at the very least I thought for sure she would have hit him. I mean, this is Mara Jade we are talking about here." This time Biggs laughed and Luke once again found himself smiling. He looked up automatically finding Mara. She was looking at him, a smile mirrored on her face. They looked away at the same time breaking the contact.

"I tell you," Biggs said patting him on the back. "You sure do pick winners." Luke smiled as he downed his drink, the bitter taste of the alcohol pleasantly burning as it made its way down. Han grabbed the glass before Luke could sit it down.

"You need another," Han announced boldly.

"No, Han, I'm fine," Luke insisted.

"I know," he said with a grin. "That's why you need another."

----

Across the room, the conversation between the women was not as intense as Luke thought. In fact for all the presses speculations of what is exactly discussed at these types of parties they were way off. Mara never thought she would be interested in the sort of conversation that had caught her attention, but things in her life were no longer the same. So she stayed there, without much to add but willing to absorb everything she could while the ladies here discussed their kids.

Mara shook her head in disbelief, as Leia describe the latest mini disaster that her children had caused with the nanny. She looked over, and noticed Luke across the room. It had been three days since Luke told her and she saw the tape. She had watched the whole thing from start to finish; Answering Luke's protests that since he had been forced to watch the whole thing, that she should do the same. And she had wanted to remember, she admitted to herself. The images of her and Luke on that vid were stuck in her mind, and she felt cheated. That thought surprised her. Looking over at Luke, she noticed him looking at her, she smiled to cover up her embarrassment, and he smiled back.

-----

It was about an hour later that Mara found Luke alone in the kitchen. She had been avoiding him, she knew it. But now that they were this close to each other she wasn't sure why. She knew Luke needed time, and she was willing to give that to him, but she wanted him to know where she stood right now. Not to scare him off, just so that she knew that he knew she was waiting. She stood beside him at the sink and waited while he got her some water.

"So, how are you feeling?" Luke asked, handing her a glass.

"I'm fine," Mara told him, taking a sip. "It's rather funny to be the only sober person at a party. Everyone is so amusing to watch."

"Careful Jade," Luke said with a laugh. "People might start thinking that motherhood agrees with you."

"Maybe it does," she said with a shrug. She knew she was not acting like herself, but it did not matter to her. Things in her life had changed. And a huge weight on her shoulders was gone. And the father of her child was standing with her in the kitchen trying not to look uncomfortable. There had to be something she could say to get a conversation going. "So," she finally said. Since she could think of no small talk to fill the space, she asked one of the greater questions on her mind. "Have you told everyone yet?"

"No," Luke admitted, looking at the floor for a second. He was smiling when he looked up again. She noticed he was smiling a lot that night. "Han and Biggs are the only ones that know."

"Ah," Mara said, almost laughing. "So you picked the easy ones first? You haven't told Leia?"

"No," Luke said with a shrug. "I haven't found the right time."

"I think you should tell her," Mara assured him. "Leia deserves to hear about it from you."

"I know."

"Hear what?" The laughing feeling fled from her mind as they whipped around to find Leia standing next to a very uncomfortable Han at the door. His reaction would have confused her if she had not already found out that he knew.

"Leia," Luke breathed.

"No time like the present, Luke," Han told him. Mara wanted to agree, and if it looked like Luke was not going to say anything then she would have, but as it turned out, she was not needed in that area.

"You're right," Luke agreed. "Leia, we need to talk."

"Come on Mara," Han said, taking her hand. "Let's let them talk alone." She did not want to leave him there to tell his sister on his own, but if Han was encouraging her to leave and Luke was not protesting then she would take their word for it. They walked out of the room and stood off to the side.

"Why did you pull me out of there?" Mara asked. Even though she was fine with leaving, she still wanted an explanation. "Do you think she's going to get that upset?"

"I think it will be a shock to her," Han admitted. "Give her a second, everything will be fine."

"WHAT?!!!" Everyone heard Leia yell from the kitchen. Making the entire gathering turn in the direction of the kitchen door. Mara suddenly was very thankful for Han pulling her out of there. When she looked over at him she wanted to smack that I-told-you-so look off his face. However Leia was not done yet. "Luke Skywalker how could you even think about not telling me that!"

Wedge started laughing, almost falling out of his chair in the process. "I thought she was yelling at one of the kids," he walled.

Mara looked at the door then back at Han, feeling Luke through their suddenly reopened bond. She smiled again, basking in the feeling of Luke opening himself up to her once again. "We've been summoned." She and Han went back into the kitchen without another word, closing the door behind them. Leia, upon seeing Mara, gave her a hug. "You're not mad?" Mara asked, unsure of how to take this sudden change.

"How can I be mad?" Leia exclaimed. "I'm going to be an Aunt. But now what about you two?" Mara's insides cringed. But Luke looked like he was going to speak first so she decided to let him take the lead.

"Oh, here we go," Luke said, rolling his eyes. Well, way to take the lead Skywalker.

"Don't give me that," Leia scolded him. Leia's eyes were darting between the two of them, and Mara felt Luke bracing himself. "So are you two finally done pretending you don't care for each other?"

"Leia!" Luke shouted, shocked despite the fact that he was trying to be prepared.

"There's no more denying it," Leia almost sang. "That baby did not make itself."

"No," Luke protested desperately. "The drug..."

"Did what?" Han asked, pulling himself into the conversation. "All that drug did was let you two do exactly what you wanted to do most without your heads getting in the way. Luke you were given a choice, Callista," Luke shuddered at this, "or Mara, and you choose Mara. To me that speaks volumes."

"Look at each other," Leia instructed them. "Right now, Luke look into her eyes and deny that you feel more for her then you do... say Wedge." Luke laughed at her comparison, but sobered at his sister's insistence. "No, I'm being serious. If she's just a friend then you would feel the same for her that you do for Wedge." Luke's face lost the playful look; he became serious and gazed at Mara. "Now, deny, here and now what you feel for this woman."

Luke's eyes lowered for a second. "I can't," he whispered, as he once again met Mara's eyes, a ghost of a smile touching his face.

"And Mara, you look at Luke, and admit that it would not bother you to see him happy in the arms of another woman." Mara wanted to slap her and all her questions. But she could see what Leia was trying to do. With her mind still spinning from Luke's confession Mara could not lie, and wasn't sure she wanted to even if she could.

"It would kill me," Mara admitted. Even though in her mind it felt like a lifetime before she answered that question she knew it looked like she answered with no consideration. Leia released the breath she was holding and shared a smile with her husband.

"See that wasn't so hard," Leia said, again sounding like she was talking to one of her children. "I swear, you two are almost as stubborn as Han and I were."

"Like you two?" Luke asked. "It wasn't that obvious was it?"

"Yes," both Han and Leia said together. "Now come on," Leia insisted. "We have a room full of guests that are just itching to find out what is going on in here."

Mara started, Leia's words again shocking her to her toes. "We have to tell them?" she asked, feeling the fear filling her again.

"Of course," Leia gushed. "Don't you think everyone will be wondering why we're hovering over that baby like its family?"

"There's no turning down this one?" Luke asked, looking as unsettled about this as she was.

"Oh come on you two," Leia exclaimed rolling her eyes. "You would think you had a bunch of your worst enemies out there, not a room full of friends. They deserve to hear it. Everyone has been waiting for this." Leia left without another word with Han taking her arm. Mara and Luke hung back, still looking at each other.

"It's no wonder you can never say no to your sister," Mara told him.

"She can be very persuading," Luke said with a smile. He hesitated a moment before wrapping an arm around her waist. "Come on, lets get out of here, and after the party, we talk about going to see your grandmother."

Mara growled in frustration, unable to stop the reaction. "You never give up do you?"

"No way," Luke told her. "I was this close to getting you there."

Mara laughed at his reaction, and the playful tint to his voice. "Yeah, and what two kidnappings are not enough to stop you right?"

"Right," he agreed smiling broadly.

"Ok we will talk about it...," she said, laughing when his smile grew. "Knock off that look. I said we would talk about it." They were both laughing as the followed Han and Leia back into the main room. Both bracing themselves for what would happen in the next few minutes and after. But the first major hurtle was behind them, and they rest, well the rest they would tackle together.

THE END!!!!