A/N: Yes, I know I'm lacking humor in the last chapter, and probably this one too. But after this one there will be a return of humor! And pie. Mostly humor. But I tried to fit some humor into this one.
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The True Axis of Evil Take Over the World!
By Hayabusa Will (TheNameIsWill@AOL.Com)
Chapter Eight-Chapter Eight
The laughter of the True Axis of Evil was heard throughout their castle.
After winning the match, what better way to celebrate later that night than by playing their custom-made True Axis of Evil fighting game on GameCube, which allowed up to ten players and featured Tidus, Raiden and Pikachu of course, who made up the top tier. In addition was their partners Crash Bandicoot and Captain Falcon, very strong as well, along with Wakka to make up the second tier. The top four villains Bowser, Dr. Eggman, Ganondorf and Sephiroth were also in the game and about as strong as Crash and C.Falcon. And in addition were five horridly weak characters. Of course, they were Mario, Sonic the Hedgehog, MegaMan, Solid Snake and Cloud Strife, their sworn enemies. Not only where their sprites very graphically challenged, their attacks did next to nothing, and they made various animal sounds instead of talking in their real voices like the other characters did. Whenever they were hit hard enough or enough times, they'd run away crying and stand dizzy to allow the other character to get a powerful shot in at them.
"DIE, MEGAMAN!" Yelled Tidus, who was playing as Bowser. The Bowser character smashed the MegaMan sprite with a headbutt. MegaMan made a loud chimp noise and fell to the ground, the console announcing 'GAME!'. The five people at the game leapt up and cheered. "Score one for the leader!"
Tidus proclaimed himself the leader after winning the match. Raiden and Pikachu reluctantly allowed it. Raiden and Crash were at Tidus' right and Pikachu and Captain Falcon to his left.
"You know, I feel good now" Tidus said. "Makes me forget about fears"
"You three have fears?" Asked Captain Falcon in a surprised voice.
Tidus looked grimly at them. "Yes. I fear only three things. Spiders, women and uh...spider-women"
"Me too" Raiden shuddered.
"Agreed" Added Pikachu. "Hey Crash, what are you doing?"
"Yes, that's right..." Crash whispered into a cell phone. He turned to them. "Uh...nothing. What'd I say?" He said into the cell phone. "I said...I'm...cacch, on...cacch, the phone! I'm...go...thro...tunnel!" He suddenly threw the phone to the ground and stepped on it.
The others stared oddly. "So how about we do a five-on-five game?" Suggested Captain Falcon. The others agreed. And so Tidus picked Raiden, Raiden picked Pikachu, Pikachu picked Tidus, Falcon picked Crash and Crash picked Falcon. They went against the Just-As-True Allies of Good. The five laughed as the Crash sprite on the screen kicked the Sonic sprite in the head, the Sonic sprite running across the screen and squealing like a pig.
*IN THE GAME*
The Snake ran around the screen, hissing loudly. Tidus came in and slashed him with his sword a few times, causing him to scream hissingly and fall. "FINISH HIM!" Yelled a voice in the game. Tidus pulled out a pie and smashed Snake in the face with it, the pie exploding and taking Snake with it.
*REALITY*
"Ahahahaha!" Laughed the Axis as they beat up the virtual-Allies.
But where were the real Allies?
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SOMEWHERE
Sonic was laying on a bed, covered with bandages and fast asleep. He was still very badly hurt from when Tidus and Raiden publicly beat the crap out of him. Cloud was in similar shape, but was sitting up at the end of the bed. His arm was in a cast, as were his ribs. He had a small bandage near his mouth. Mario, Snake and MegaMan were sitting in chairs nearby. All five of them looked sadly down.
"We...lost..." Mario sighed.
"I think we're aware" Replied Snake. "Otherwise we wouldn't be sulking"
"Let me check my E-mail..." MegaMan turned to the computer in the room, and typed something in. "Let's see...junk mail, junk mail, porno, pink slip, black mail, jury duty, viagra, porno, viagra, viagra, jury duty, porno, junk mail, viagra, porno, viagra, viagra...what's with all the viagra?! Are they trying to tell me something?!"
"We just gotta accept the loss and move on" Snake sighed. "There's no way we even stood a chance against them. We can beat up villains, but we can't beat a bunch of crazed lunatic good guys gone bad"
"Here's your pie, guys" Said Roll, the younger sister robot of MegaMan. She came in and brought them five pies, handing one to each of them.
"Thanks" Snake said. He chucked his at Cloud.
Now with a face full of pie, Cloud got up. "Why I aughta--ow, my already broken hip!"
"You know, we could heal all of you to full health in a manner of seconds" Roll told them as she sat down on the bed where Cloud was before getting up.
"And how would that be?" Asked MegaMan.
FIVE SECONDS LATER
"No! I'm not going on a stinkin' Pokéball!" MegaMan protested as Mario and Snake tried to force him into one.
"Come on, Sonic and Cloud went in theirs!" Mario told MegaMan as the two continued to try to get him into the open ball that was no bigger than their fist.
"You're forgetting that Sonic and Cloud are too damaged to do what any normal person could do and dodge floor-level laser sensors by compressing their bodies to the size of a houseful sponge making them no more than a barely-organic puddle of cells, making them some sort of breathing, amphibious porpoise-dog"
Snake looked at MegaMan oddly. "Could I buy some pot from you?"
"DOODELY DOODELY HOODLE!" MegaMan yelled, making a run for it.
LATERISH
Having been stuffed into the Pokéballs and fully healed up, the five members of the Just-As-True-Allies-of-Good were still sitting in the room without anything much to do. However, Sonic was missing...
"Well, we're better..." Sighed Cloud. "But to what cost? What's the point anymore? We're stuck in a stinking refuge for fleeing heroes, because we lost to a bunch of yellow-haired wusses who got pushed around too much. I can think of no purpose...someone please tell me a purpose"
"I got the special tape!" Sonic announced as he dashed back in.
"Good enough for me" Cloud grinned, as did the others as he took it from Sonic. Cloud put it into the VCR. The five pulled their chair up close, their eyes widened.
"AHAHAHA! That-a guy got hit in the head with a coconut!" Laughed Mario hysterically, the others quickly joining in.
"You know, watching this show gives me one of those things..." Cloud scratched the back of his head. "Like a headache, but with pictures..."
"An idea?" Asked Snake.
"Yeah, that's it!" Cloud said excitedly.
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BACK AT THE AXIS CASTLE
"Sure this is going to work?" Asked Snake, as he, Sonic, MegaMan and Cloud stood against the wall outside of the castle, and behind a tree so that none of the guards could see.
"Yes" Cloud nodded.
Mario nodded in agreement. "He's a-right! Nobody is going to recognize me with this disguise he got-a for me!" He put on a pair of glasses.
Snake rolled his eyes. "Mario, nobody's that stup--"
"Wow, it's like he's a brand new person!" MegaMan excitedly said.
"Spoke too soon" Shrugged Snake. "But still, you never were good at pretending to be things. Remember that time you pretended to be gay?"
FLASHBACK
Mario sat watching Yu-Gi-Oh! with a bunch of people behind his chair.
PRESENT TIME
Snake snuck up behind the guard and grabbed hold of him and choked him to unconsciousness (I'm trying to keep this PG here). The other guard came in and Cloud whacked him in the back of the head with the flat end of his Buster Sword. Mario rushed in.
Determined, he stepped up to the door. He clenched his fists, took a deep breath and focused. He was completely ready, and not going to let anything hold him back now, and with that he raised his fist, and knocked politely on the castle door.
The door opened, a Team Rocket grunt answering. "Yes?"
"It's-a me, Mari...ad a Littlelamb?" Mario said. He cleared his throat. "Yes, Mariad A. Littalam here to meet the Axis"
"And what business do you have?" Asked the grunt, looking skeptically at the short plumber.
"I'm-a an obscure-a villain from...uh...Clayfighter 63 & 9/10" Mario suggested.
"Well, come on on Mr. Littlam" The grunt said, leading Mario into the room. He walked over to the thrones of Tidus, Raiden and Pikachu. "Sirs, this is Mardiad A. Littulam"
"Hm..." Thought Tidus. "He looks kind of familiar...but I'm sure I've never seen him in my life" Stated Tidus. "What's your case, sir?"
"I'm-a a villain too. Watch-a my super villainy" He reached into his pocket and took out a Hamtaro plush, then kicked it across the room.
The Axis gasped. "My gosh! You are so evil!" Raiden announced.
Pikachu nodded. "Consider yourself Number Four"
"Hey!" Crash, C.Falcon and Wakka yelled in unison.
"You're still Numbers Five, Six and Seven" Tidus said. "That's pretty good"
"Who are those guys?" Pikachu whispered to Tidus.
"Your room is that way" Raiden pointed to the right. "Complete with a cell phone for calling anyone you may or may not have a secret alliance with on personal business, and a door so that we can't hear it and know what you're plotting against us"
"Thank-a you!" Mario quickly began to run towards his room to give the other Allies his news. However, the glasses made his sight worse and he hit a throne and fell over. Mario looked up at them. "Heh heh, sorry 'bout-a that" Mario took a step to the right, and his loose glasses hit the floor. Everyone suddenly gasped.
"It's Mario!" Gasped Pikachu. "I had no clue! What a disguise!"
"Be that as it may he's history!" Raiden growled. "Big Four! And uh, that Liquid Snake guy"
Out of the shadows stepped Bowser, Dr. Eggman, Sephiroth, Ganondorf and Liquid Snake, who looked angry at not being one of of the Big Four.
"You know, you should let me and Giovanni join the group as the Big Six" Suggested Liquid Snake.
They paused for a second before Raiden concluded "That does NOT sound right!"
"Hey! Why isn't my rival in there?!" Yelled a familiar squeaky voice from high in the castle.
"Because he sucks!" Called Tidus in reply.
"Still no fair!" MegaMan called.
"Fine, we'll make a MegaMan Versus Ganondorf game for you" Raiden yelled.
"Fine!" MegaMan said.
The Axis finally realized what was going on. "Hey, what?!" Exclaimed Tidus.
Sonic, MegaMan, Snake and Cloud all grabbed onto the ropes and leapt down, Tarzan-style. "AHHH AH AH AH!" They kicked down their rivals, except for Bowser. Cloud grabbed Mario and they all leapt off, running off fast, then fatiguing and slowing to a walk.
"They're getting away! They're eventually getting away!" Cried Tidus, aghast.
"NOOOOOOOOOO!" Yelled Raiden and Pikachu.
"Bad news" Captain Falcon ran up to them. "The only tape of the guy getting hit in the head with a coconut is gone"
"NOOOOOOOOO!" All three Axis yelled.
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AT THE UNDERGROUND HEROES LOUNGE
"Well, that didn't work" Mario said. "What happened to that grenade you were supposed to throw at them in case my joining plan failed?"
"Uh...I got hungry" MegaMan sheepishly said. "Don't hurt me!"
"AHAHAHAHA!" Laughed Cloud, along with Sonic and Snake. "That guy got hit in the head with TWO coconuts!"
"Well, we're gonna need a plan..." Mario thought.
"By the way guys, we got a call from you-know-who, they left a message" Roll announced as she walked in. She handed them a note.
Sonic took it and smiled. "Looks like we're gonna win this after all"
-------
PREVIEW OF NEXT CHAPTER
In the final chapter, it's the Axis Vs. Allies for the last time! The Axis and pulling out all the stops, including using Wakka, Captain Falcon and the Big Four villains, but the Allies seem confident in their plan. Will they be stopped?! And what did the call say?! Who was it from?! And why am I asking so many questions if I made this Fic?! Find out, next time!
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The True Axis of Evil Take Over the World!
By Hayabusa Will (TheNameIsWill@AOL.Com)
Chapter Eight-Chapter Eight
The laughter of the True Axis of Evil was heard throughout their castle.
After winning the match, what better way to celebrate later that night than by playing their custom-made True Axis of Evil fighting game on GameCube, which allowed up to ten players and featured Tidus, Raiden and Pikachu of course, who made up the top tier. In addition was their partners Crash Bandicoot and Captain Falcon, very strong as well, along with Wakka to make up the second tier. The top four villains Bowser, Dr. Eggman, Ganondorf and Sephiroth were also in the game and about as strong as Crash and C.Falcon. And in addition were five horridly weak characters. Of course, they were Mario, Sonic the Hedgehog, MegaMan, Solid Snake and Cloud Strife, their sworn enemies. Not only where their sprites very graphically challenged, their attacks did next to nothing, and they made various animal sounds instead of talking in their real voices like the other characters did. Whenever they were hit hard enough or enough times, they'd run away crying and stand dizzy to allow the other character to get a powerful shot in at them.
"DIE, MEGAMAN!" Yelled Tidus, who was playing as Bowser. The Bowser character smashed the MegaMan sprite with a headbutt. MegaMan made a loud chimp noise and fell to the ground, the console announcing 'GAME!'. The five people at the game leapt up and cheered. "Score one for the leader!"
Tidus proclaimed himself the leader after winning the match. Raiden and Pikachu reluctantly allowed it. Raiden and Crash were at Tidus' right and Pikachu and Captain Falcon to his left.
"You know, I feel good now" Tidus said. "Makes me forget about fears"
"You three have fears?" Asked Captain Falcon in a surprised voice.
Tidus looked grimly at them. "Yes. I fear only three things. Spiders, women and uh...spider-women"
"Me too" Raiden shuddered.
"Agreed" Added Pikachu. "Hey Crash, what are you doing?"
"Yes, that's right..." Crash whispered into a cell phone. He turned to them. "Uh...nothing. What'd I say?" He said into the cell phone. "I said...I'm...cacch, on...cacch, the phone! I'm...go...thro...tunnel!" He suddenly threw the phone to the ground and stepped on it.
The others stared oddly. "So how about we do a five-on-five game?" Suggested Captain Falcon. The others agreed. And so Tidus picked Raiden, Raiden picked Pikachu, Pikachu picked Tidus, Falcon picked Crash and Crash picked Falcon. They went against the Just-As-True Allies of Good. The five laughed as the Crash sprite on the screen kicked the Sonic sprite in the head, the Sonic sprite running across the screen and squealing like a pig.
*IN THE GAME*
The Snake ran around the screen, hissing loudly. Tidus came in and slashed him with his sword a few times, causing him to scream hissingly and fall. "FINISH HIM!" Yelled a voice in the game. Tidus pulled out a pie and smashed Snake in the face with it, the pie exploding and taking Snake with it.
*REALITY*
"Ahahahaha!" Laughed the Axis as they beat up the virtual-Allies.
But where were the real Allies?
----------
SOMEWHERE
Sonic was laying on a bed, covered with bandages and fast asleep. He was still very badly hurt from when Tidus and Raiden publicly beat the crap out of him. Cloud was in similar shape, but was sitting up at the end of the bed. His arm was in a cast, as were his ribs. He had a small bandage near his mouth. Mario, Snake and MegaMan were sitting in chairs nearby. All five of them looked sadly down.
"We...lost..." Mario sighed.
"I think we're aware" Replied Snake. "Otherwise we wouldn't be sulking"
"Let me check my E-mail..." MegaMan turned to the computer in the room, and typed something in. "Let's see...junk mail, junk mail, porno, pink slip, black mail, jury duty, viagra, porno, viagra, viagra, jury duty, porno, junk mail, viagra, porno, viagra, viagra...what's with all the viagra?! Are they trying to tell me something?!"
"We just gotta accept the loss and move on" Snake sighed. "There's no way we even stood a chance against them. We can beat up villains, but we can't beat a bunch of crazed lunatic good guys gone bad"
"Here's your pie, guys" Said Roll, the younger sister robot of MegaMan. She came in and brought them five pies, handing one to each of them.
"Thanks" Snake said. He chucked his at Cloud.
Now with a face full of pie, Cloud got up. "Why I aughta--ow, my already broken hip!"
"You know, we could heal all of you to full health in a manner of seconds" Roll told them as she sat down on the bed where Cloud was before getting up.
"And how would that be?" Asked MegaMan.
FIVE SECONDS LATER
"No! I'm not going on a stinkin' Pokéball!" MegaMan protested as Mario and Snake tried to force him into one.
"Come on, Sonic and Cloud went in theirs!" Mario told MegaMan as the two continued to try to get him into the open ball that was no bigger than their fist.
"You're forgetting that Sonic and Cloud are too damaged to do what any normal person could do and dodge floor-level laser sensors by compressing their bodies to the size of a houseful sponge making them no more than a barely-organic puddle of cells, making them some sort of breathing, amphibious porpoise-dog"
Snake looked at MegaMan oddly. "Could I buy some pot from you?"
"DOODELY DOODELY HOODLE!" MegaMan yelled, making a run for it.
LATERISH
Having been stuffed into the Pokéballs and fully healed up, the five members of the Just-As-True-Allies-of-Good were still sitting in the room without anything much to do. However, Sonic was missing...
"Well, we're better..." Sighed Cloud. "But to what cost? What's the point anymore? We're stuck in a stinking refuge for fleeing heroes, because we lost to a bunch of yellow-haired wusses who got pushed around too much. I can think of no purpose...someone please tell me a purpose"
"I got the special tape!" Sonic announced as he dashed back in.
"Good enough for me" Cloud grinned, as did the others as he took it from Sonic. Cloud put it into the VCR. The five pulled their chair up close, their eyes widened.
"AHAHAHA! That-a guy got hit in the head with a coconut!" Laughed Mario hysterically, the others quickly joining in.
"You know, watching this show gives me one of those things..." Cloud scratched the back of his head. "Like a headache, but with pictures..."
"An idea?" Asked Snake.
"Yeah, that's it!" Cloud said excitedly.
----------
BACK AT THE AXIS CASTLE
"Sure this is going to work?" Asked Snake, as he, Sonic, MegaMan and Cloud stood against the wall outside of the castle, and behind a tree so that none of the guards could see.
"Yes" Cloud nodded.
Mario nodded in agreement. "He's a-right! Nobody is going to recognize me with this disguise he got-a for me!" He put on a pair of glasses.
Snake rolled his eyes. "Mario, nobody's that stup--"
"Wow, it's like he's a brand new person!" MegaMan excitedly said.
"Spoke too soon" Shrugged Snake. "But still, you never were good at pretending to be things. Remember that time you pretended to be gay?"
FLASHBACK
Mario sat watching Yu-Gi-Oh! with a bunch of people behind his chair.
PRESENT TIME
Snake snuck up behind the guard and grabbed hold of him and choked him to unconsciousness (I'm trying to keep this PG here). The other guard came in and Cloud whacked him in the back of the head with the flat end of his Buster Sword. Mario rushed in.
Determined, he stepped up to the door. He clenched his fists, took a deep breath and focused. He was completely ready, and not going to let anything hold him back now, and with that he raised his fist, and knocked politely on the castle door.
The door opened, a Team Rocket grunt answering. "Yes?"
"It's-a me, Mari...ad a Littlelamb?" Mario said. He cleared his throat. "Yes, Mariad A. Littalam here to meet the Axis"
"And what business do you have?" Asked the grunt, looking skeptically at the short plumber.
"I'm-a an obscure-a villain from...uh...Clayfighter 63 & 9/10" Mario suggested.
"Well, come on on Mr. Littlam" The grunt said, leading Mario into the room. He walked over to the thrones of Tidus, Raiden and Pikachu. "Sirs, this is Mardiad A. Littulam"
"Hm..." Thought Tidus. "He looks kind of familiar...but I'm sure I've never seen him in my life" Stated Tidus. "What's your case, sir?"
"I'm-a a villain too. Watch-a my super villainy" He reached into his pocket and took out a Hamtaro plush, then kicked it across the room.
The Axis gasped. "My gosh! You are so evil!" Raiden announced.
Pikachu nodded. "Consider yourself Number Four"
"Hey!" Crash, C.Falcon and Wakka yelled in unison.
"You're still Numbers Five, Six and Seven" Tidus said. "That's pretty good"
"Who are those guys?" Pikachu whispered to Tidus.
"Your room is that way" Raiden pointed to the right. "Complete with a cell phone for calling anyone you may or may not have a secret alliance with on personal business, and a door so that we can't hear it and know what you're plotting against us"
"Thank-a you!" Mario quickly began to run towards his room to give the other Allies his news. However, the glasses made his sight worse and he hit a throne and fell over. Mario looked up at them. "Heh heh, sorry 'bout-a that" Mario took a step to the right, and his loose glasses hit the floor. Everyone suddenly gasped.
"It's Mario!" Gasped Pikachu. "I had no clue! What a disguise!"
"Be that as it may he's history!" Raiden growled. "Big Four! And uh, that Liquid Snake guy"
Out of the shadows stepped Bowser, Dr. Eggman, Sephiroth, Ganondorf and Liquid Snake, who looked angry at not being one of of the Big Four.
"You know, you should let me and Giovanni join the group as the Big Six" Suggested Liquid Snake.
They paused for a second before Raiden concluded "That does NOT sound right!"
"Hey! Why isn't my rival in there?!" Yelled a familiar squeaky voice from high in the castle.
"Because he sucks!" Called Tidus in reply.
"Still no fair!" MegaMan called.
"Fine, we'll make a MegaMan Versus Ganondorf game for you" Raiden yelled.
"Fine!" MegaMan said.
The Axis finally realized what was going on. "Hey, what?!" Exclaimed Tidus.
Sonic, MegaMan, Snake and Cloud all grabbed onto the ropes and leapt down, Tarzan-style. "AHHH AH AH AH!" They kicked down their rivals, except for Bowser. Cloud grabbed Mario and they all leapt off, running off fast, then fatiguing and slowing to a walk.
"They're getting away! They're eventually getting away!" Cried Tidus, aghast.
"NOOOOOOOOOO!" Yelled Raiden and Pikachu.
"Bad news" Captain Falcon ran up to them. "The only tape of the guy getting hit in the head with a coconut is gone"
"NOOOOOOOOO!" All three Axis yelled.
----------
AT THE UNDERGROUND HEROES LOUNGE
"Well, that didn't work" Mario said. "What happened to that grenade you were supposed to throw at them in case my joining plan failed?"
"Uh...I got hungry" MegaMan sheepishly said. "Don't hurt me!"
"AHAHAHAHA!" Laughed Cloud, along with Sonic and Snake. "That guy got hit in the head with TWO coconuts!"
"Well, we're gonna need a plan..." Mario thought.
"By the way guys, we got a call from you-know-who, they left a message" Roll announced as she walked in. She handed them a note.
Sonic took it and smiled. "Looks like we're gonna win this after all"
-------
PREVIEW OF NEXT CHAPTER
In the final chapter, it's the Axis Vs. Allies for the last time! The Axis and pulling out all the stops, including using Wakka, Captain Falcon and the Big Four villains, but the Allies seem confident in their plan. Will they be stopped?! And what did the call say?! Who was it from?! And why am I asking so many questions if I made this Fic?! Find out, next time!