Fandom: X / Tokyo Babylon
Title: Rikoteki na yume.
Pairing: Seishirou + Subaru
Rating: PG
Description: The makings of a Sakurazukamori... (made for Seishirou's birthday.)
Disclaimer: Yui doesn't own Tokyo Babylon or X. Nor does she own Honnou. That's awesome Shiina Ringo's!
/"Doushite
Rekishi no ue ni kotoba ga umareta no ka"/
/Why?
From above history, were words born?/
Rikoteki na yume. (Selfish dream.)
By miyamoto yui
Chapter 1 - Honnou
She pushes the needle in. She takes the needle out.
Mother seems to like it whenever she 'accidentally' pokes her finger. Then, she calls me to drink the blood.
I know she loves me more when she does this because she always kisses me on the lips. This is our secret little game.
Something she calls love.
I go to the garden and run around with my imaginary friend, Sugita. He is my little brother and he follows me everywhere. I talk to him because Mother doesn't like it when I shout out like the other little kids. She thinks they're really loud and rude.
I don't want to do anything that Mother doesn't like. She's scary when she smiles, like a Noh mask.
She doesn't look like my Mother when she's that way.
After she cooks dinner, we go out for a walk. Taking my hand, we walk through the city.
She holds onto my hand very tightly, but she always looks like she's searching for something.
"What are we looking for?" I always ask.
This is another game we play.
With a finger to my lips, she gives me a grin. "I don't know."
But she knows.
She knows. She is Mother, after all.
One day, a man pushes past me as we are coming out of a karaoke place. I give him a mean look and point at him because he wants to grab my hand and take me away. "He hit me, Mother."
Mother shakes her head and clicks her tongue. "He did?"
I pout and nod my head.
Mommy would know what to do...
...if anyone.
Normally, she would leave me to sit quietly alone for a couple of minutes, but this time, she took me with her. With a smile on her face, we walk fast.
We see the man again, but he turns into a dark alley. Mother laughs and I watch her, my finger in my mouth.
She lets go of my hand and takes the man's collar. "Whomever sent you, don't you ever touch my son."
I've never seen Mother so scary as when she put her hand into the man's chest. The man falls to the ground and Mother's beautiful kimono has blood all over it.
But I'm not scared.
I'm proud - I am Mother's boy, after all.
Kneeling to me, she takes a part of her kimono sleeve and rubs it on my cheek. "I love you, Seishirou."
"That's what love is?" I ask her while pointing at the dead man in front of us.
"Yes. Anything that touches what is yours should be punished."
I hug Mother and she takes me into her arms. While carrying me, she rubs my back while we walk down the dark alley.
Blood and Mother's smell. They're the best!
"Mother loves me..." I whisper into her ear playfully. My smile stretches from ear to ear while I grab her kimono.
"Yes, very much," she answers in her quiet way.
Even when I grow older, we still play this game.
Mother never grows old and she is always sewing. She waits until I come home from school to prick her herself.
I still suck on her white fingers and she laughs while kissing me on the lips.
I always like the way she laughs.
She always acts like she doesn't know anything else, but she knows so many things.
But I see her writing letters these days. She is writing to someone and she won't show me the notes. I get upset with her.
She giggles while going into our garden and into the snow. "Oh, Seishirou-san, you are so childish."
I smirk at her and shake my head while standing at the back door. "Who did you write that letter to, Mother?"
"No one..." she answers while looking away from me in her coquettish ways.
Then, she glances at me seductively.
She has written to someone!
"This won't ever do!" I tease, but inside of my heart, I feel a slight jealousy.
Mother laughs even more and I take her shoulders. Looking into my eyes, she stares at me for the first time. She is looking deeply into me, very seriously.
But her smile remains while telling me that there is someone I would love more than her. And she won't be able to handle it...
...well, that's what her eyes say.
"While they're still looking at me so adoringly," her eyes tell me.
I laugh off her accusation. How can that ever be true?
I can't love anyone more than you!
"But who did you write to?!" I shout through my body and into my fingers as I hold her. "Who did you write all those letters to?!"
She tells me again, "I love you, Seishirou-san."
That's not enough...
At that moment, instinct takes over.
And I kill Mother with my hand.
Holding her in my arms, I smile while kissing her lips filled with blood.
"Goodbye, Mother."
No one is going to take what was mine.
No one is going to take you away from me.
Not even you, Mother.
Blood seeps into the white, white snow making the spot as beautiful as falling sakura petals when they die.
I look at the envelopes to find they are all addressed to me.
Until the end, she is playing a game with me.
We are trying to see who loves the other more.
Shaking my head, I laugh out of spite and reverie.
"Selfish Mother. Dying in my arms like that..."
Was something taking you away from me? Something that you couldn't even fight against?
Maybe...
Maybe it was herself.
Her woman's urges versus...
...her mother instinct.
Tsuzuku...
-
Author's note: I wanted to keep the essence of Setsuka and take yet another perspective to the relationship she and Seishirou had. I have done two other fics with them, but I wanted to emphasize more on her alluring strangeness that had transported into Seishirou and poisoned him through this illusion called 'cruel love' and 'human instinct'.
Between November 2003 to January 2004