From Behind the Veil
By: Sailoranime
I don't own the Harry Potter plot, characters, and other such things. I am merely borrowing them for a couple of hours a week so I can write something my fans will enjoy. Oh, and you guys, too. ^_~
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!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!BEFORE YOU READ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Okay. Let me just say something. NOTHING IS SAFE. If there is a theory that you really like and will defend until your last breath, I'm likely to parody it. Not because I'm being mean, but because this is a parody and I will do every cliche if I can, because THAT is what this is about. I'm letting you know because now that I'm finishing up with the righteous anger issues I'll be going into typical HP theories, cliches, over-used plots, and anything else that occurs to me. If you want a little list of ALL things that are to come, check my LiveJournal. Oh, wait, I don't have one! ^_~ Nevermind. Nah. Actually, I might post a list if anyone asks, but I don't want to give too much away. Okay. Enjoy.
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Chapter 5- Do I have to name all of them?
~
Harry woke up to screaming for the 9th morning that week. Nevermind that there are only 7 days in a week. Not really caring that Sirius daughter was making squeaky noises from somewhere while he was dressing, he started to plan out his day. He'd go have breakfast first. Then he'd go visit Ron, save someone's life, destroy some legendary creature, and break about 20 laws in the process. What a slow day!
Sure enough, he'd done four of those five things by lunchtime. Lupin had eaten all the pancakes, so Harry had been left breakfast-less. And so at lunch Harry ate twice as much as he usually ate, thus, leaving Lupin lunch-less. After lunch, Harry noticed an odd thing. Lupin was drinking from a hip flask very frequently, like Moody. How very odd.
" So, how's my little bo- Er... former student today?" Lupin asked Harry. Harry shrugged.
" That legendary beast roughed me up a bit, but I guess I'm fine."
" You did great work, son- er... I mean, Harry."
" Thanks, sir. Where's Sirius?"
" I dunno. I think this place has a rat problem, don't you? I keep hearing noises from the attic-" Lupin was cut off as Sirius bounced into the room.
" Remmy! How's the flea problem?"
" Sirius!" Lupin practically yelled. Because we know Lupin's always practical, so his yelling would be too.
" What? Oh! You're still clinging to the little respect Harry has for you, Jam...er... Remus?"
" Sirius, when are we going to Diagon Alley? We need my school supplies, and I hear there's a new really expensive broom out. D'you think I could have it?"
" Sure. Why not?"
Sirius patted Harry on the head and glanced at Lupin who was sewing his old robes together with his broken wand while his charmed scissors cut out coupons in the spot next to him. Sirius looked at him oddly.
" Remus? Why are you cutting coupons?"
" To save money, you dolt."
" But why? I mean, you have a huge vault in Gringotts full of gold and at least 5 mansions in Europe alone." Lupin shrugged and picked up his raggedy old suitcase, to take it to his raggedy old shack full of his raggedy old robes and clothes. Harry looked at Sirius.
" Why didn't they mahe HIM my godfather?" he asked resentfully.
"Hey! What's that supposed to mean?"
" He has more money than you." Harry answered, as if it was the simplest things in the world. Of course, the simplest thing in the world is 1+1=2. But Harry doesn't know that.
" Whatever. Come on, finish lunch so you can go change. Dumbledore's coming by later."
" Why?"
" I dunno. Some life-altering news. We could skip out on it if he hadn't posted 5 dementors at the door as guards."
" Oh. Fine. I'll go get ready." he answered, ignoring the fact that some of his deadly enemies were at the door to the Order of the Phoenix Headquaters. He ran up the stairs and past a bathroom with an open door where he saw his father turning into Lupin after drinking from the hip flask, and into his room.
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" I'm sorry, Sirius." Dumbledore said softly. Harry sniffled.
" So Sirius can't teach at Hogwarts?"
" No. I'm afraid there are no positions available."
" What about DADA? No one wants that job." Sirius whined. Dumbledore shook his head.
" Nope. A troll showed up and offered to fill the position. There's nothing... unless...!" Dumbledore's eyes lit up.
" Unless what?" Harry asked eagerly. Dumbledore looked slightly doubtful.
" Well, he could take my place! Be headmaster." Sirius's eyes lit up.
" Please! Let me have it! I'll be really good and responsible!" he said, giving Dumbledore his puppy dog look. Dumbledore shrugged.
" Eh. Sure, why not?" Harry looked at them both, amazed.
" Wow. That really worked, huh? Can I try that, Sirius?"
" No! It's a patented look!" Harry's face fell.
" Okay. Fine." And so Harry didn't try to puppy dog look. Oh, I'm sorry. The PATENTED puppy dog look. Sirius looked at Harry with a smile. He then put his hand on the side of his face that was facing Dumbledore and spoke, convinced that Dumbledore couldn't hear him.
" Don't worry, Harry. I'll let you miss your classes and make them pass you, okay?" he asked with a wink. Harry grinned. With a great surge of energy, he jumped from the couch and into Sirius's lap and gave him a hug.
" Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!" he said, jumping up and down in Sirius lap like a 5 year old. Dumbledore looked greatly disturbed.
" Uh, Sirius? Harry?" The jumping stopped, but Harry was still clinging to Sirius with a huge smile on his face.
" Yes?" they both asked at the same time. Dumbledore gave them a meaningful look, and their expressions changed. Harry, looking very 'ew! ew! ew!', jumped off of Sirius's lap and let go of his godfather completely. Sirius's expression changed to disgust and he practically tossed Harry a few feet away, and off of the couch. Harry/Sirius shippers all over the world prepared their flames.
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Why do I write short chapters? Well, I actually have an excuse here. People can only take stupidity in small doses. I must admit, writing this actually gives me a headache.And if anyone reads any of my other work, here's an update. (I'll be posting this on my profile too)
Dwelling On (or is it 'in'?) The Past- Finished. Only list of thanks you's and stuff has yet to be posted.
They Blame the Hero- Working on the Big Battle. Hopefully will be out next Friday.
What Could Have Been- Trying to plan out chapter by chapter this time. Trying to make chapters longer than 25k. Presently, I am at 12k. Sorry, but I can't write that much! Hopefully, this will be out in 2 weeks. Hopefully. *crosses fingers*
Don't rot your brain with pure fanfiction. Try reading something enlightening. For this chapter, I recommend 'A Tale of Two Cities'. Beautiful book. Made me cry. No Hp-related things, but still a great read. Or try 'Island of the Blue Dolphins'. I loved that book when I was a kid. I also used to like a movie called... uh... what was it again? I can't remember very well... 'The eyes of the Amarillas' or something like that? I can't remember what it was really about, but I absolutely loved it. I had it, but my stupid sister broke it. I know it had something to do with boats and the sea. If anyone can tell me what the name is, I'd love you forever and ever. And I would totally write a one-shot story for you if you wanted. Whatever you want! H/H shipping, H/R shipping, D/G shipping... you name it. Hell, even RL/SB shipping if you want. Let me know, 'k?
Recommendations:
Long book- A Tale of Two Cities
Short book- Island of the Blue Dolphins
Movie- Er... I think it's The eyes of the Amarillas or something like that.
Fanfiction- Acquainted with the Night
Okay. That's it. Any questions, flames, comments, flames, requests, or flames will arrive in my inbox if you use the review feature. ^_^ Well, that's it. Remember, nothing is safe!!!! ^_^
By: Sailoranime
I don't own the Harry Potter plot, characters, and other such things. I am merely borrowing them for a couple of hours a week so I can write something my fans will enjoy. Oh, and you guys, too. ^_~
********************************************************
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!BEFORE YOU READ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Okay. Let me just say something. NOTHING IS SAFE. If there is a theory that you really like and will defend until your last breath, I'm likely to parody it. Not because I'm being mean, but because this is a parody and I will do every cliche if I can, because THAT is what this is about. I'm letting you know because now that I'm finishing up with the righteous anger issues I'll be going into typical HP theories, cliches, over-used plots, and anything else that occurs to me. If you want a little list of ALL things that are to come, check my LiveJournal. Oh, wait, I don't have one! ^_~ Nevermind. Nah. Actually, I might post a list if anyone asks, but I don't want to give too much away. Okay. Enjoy.
********************************************************
Chapter 5- Do I have to name all of them?
~
Harry woke up to screaming for the 9th morning that week. Nevermind that there are only 7 days in a week. Not really caring that Sirius daughter was making squeaky noises from somewhere while he was dressing, he started to plan out his day. He'd go have breakfast first. Then he'd go visit Ron, save someone's life, destroy some legendary creature, and break about 20 laws in the process. What a slow day!
Sure enough, he'd done four of those five things by lunchtime. Lupin had eaten all the pancakes, so Harry had been left breakfast-less. And so at lunch Harry ate twice as much as he usually ate, thus, leaving Lupin lunch-less. After lunch, Harry noticed an odd thing. Lupin was drinking from a hip flask very frequently, like Moody. How very odd.
" So, how's my little bo- Er... former student today?" Lupin asked Harry. Harry shrugged.
" That legendary beast roughed me up a bit, but I guess I'm fine."
" You did great work, son- er... I mean, Harry."
" Thanks, sir. Where's Sirius?"
" I dunno. I think this place has a rat problem, don't you? I keep hearing noises from the attic-" Lupin was cut off as Sirius bounced into the room.
" Remmy! How's the flea problem?"
" Sirius!" Lupin practically yelled. Because we know Lupin's always practical, so his yelling would be too.
" What? Oh! You're still clinging to the little respect Harry has for you, Jam...er... Remus?"
" Sirius, when are we going to Diagon Alley? We need my school supplies, and I hear there's a new really expensive broom out. D'you think I could have it?"
" Sure. Why not?"
Sirius patted Harry on the head and glanced at Lupin who was sewing his old robes together with his broken wand while his charmed scissors cut out coupons in the spot next to him. Sirius looked at him oddly.
" Remus? Why are you cutting coupons?"
" To save money, you dolt."
" But why? I mean, you have a huge vault in Gringotts full of gold and at least 5 mansions in Europe alone." Lupin shrugged and picked up his raggedy old suitcase, to take it to his raggedy old shack full of his raggedy old robes and clothes. Harry looked at Sirius.
" Why didn't they mahe HIM my godfather?" he asked resentfully.
"Hey! What's that supposed to mean?"
" He has more money than you." Harry answered, as if it was the simplest things in the world. Of course, the simplest thing in the world is 1+1=2. But Harry doesn't know that.
" Whatever. Come on, finish lunch so you can go change. Dumbledore's coming by later."
" Why?"
" I dunno. Some life-altering news. We could skip out on it if he hadn't posted 5 dementors at the door as guards."
" Oh. Fine. I'll go get ready." he answered, ignoring the fact that some of his deadly enemies were at the door to the Order of the Phoenix Headquaters. He ran up the stairs and past a bathroom with an open door where he saw his father turning into Lupin after drinking from the hip flask, and into his room.
************************
" I'm sorry, Sirius." Dumbledore said softly. Harry sniffled.
" So Sirius can't teach at Hogwarts?"
" No. I'm afraid there are no positions available."
" What about DADA? No one wants that job." Sirius whined. Dumbledore shook his head.
" Nope. A troll showed up and offered to fill the position. There's nothing... unless...!" Dumbledore's eyes lit up.
" Unless what?" Harry asked eagerly. Dumbledore looked slightly doubtful.
" Well, he could take my place! Be headmaster." Sirius's eyes lit up.
" Please! Let me have it! I'll be really good and responsible!" he said, giving Dumbledore his puppy dog look. Dumbledore shrugged.
" Eh. Sure, why not?" Harry looked at them both, amazed.
" Wow. That really worked, huh? Can I try that, Sirius?"
" No! It's a patented look!" Harry's face fell.
" Okay. Fine." And so Harry didn't try to puppy dog look. Oh, I'm sorry. The PATENTED puppy dog look. Sirius looked at Harry with a smile. He then put his hand on the side of his face that was facing Dumbledore and spoke, convinced that Dumbledore couldn't hear him.
" Don't worry, Harry. I'll let you miss your classes and make them pass you, okay?" he asked with a wink. Harry grinned. With a great surge of energy, he jumped from the couch and into Sirius's lap and gave him a hug.
" Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!" he said, jumping up and down in Sirius lap like a 5 year old. Dumbledore looked greatly disturbed.
" Uh, Sirius? Harry?" The jumping stopped, but Harry was still clinging to Sirius with a huge smile on his face.
" Yes?" they both asked at the same time. Dumbledore gave them a meaningful look, and their expressions changed. Harry, looking very 'ew! ew! ew!', jumped off of Sirius's lap and let go of his godfather completely. Sirius's expression changed to disgust and he practically tossed Harry a few feet away, and off of the couch. Harry/Sirius shippers all over the world prepared their flames.
_____________________________________________________________________
Why do I write short chapters? Well, I actually have an excuse here. People can only take stupidity in small doses. I must admit, writing this actually gives me a headache.And if anyone reads any of my other work, here's an update. (I'll be posting this on my profile too)
Dwelling On (or is it 'in'?) The Past- Finished. Only list of thanks you's and stuff has yet to be posted.
They Blame the Hero- Working on the Big Battle. Hopefully will be out next Friday.
What Could Have Been- Trying to plan out chapter by chapter this time. Trying to make chapters longer than 25k. Presently, I am at 12k. Sorry, but I can't write that much! Hopefully, this will be out in 2 weeks. Hopefully. *crosses fingers*
Don't rot your brain with pure fanfiction. Try reading something enlightening. For this chapter, I recommend 'A Tale of Two Cities'. Beautiful book. Made me cry. No Hp-related things, but still a great read. Or try 'Island of the Blue Dolphins'. I loved that book when I was a kid. I also used to like a movie called... uh... what was it again? I can't remember very well... 'The eyes of the Amarillas' or something like that? I can't remember what it was really about, but I absolutely loved it. I had it, but my stupid sister broke it. I know it had something to do with boats and the sea. If anyone can tell me what the name is, I'd love you forever and ever. And I would totally write a one-shot story for you if you wanted. Whatever you want! H/H shipping, H/R shipping, D/G shipping... you name it. Hell, even RL/SB shipping if you want. Let me know, 'k?
Recommendations:
Long book- A Tale of Two Cities
Short book- Island of the Blue Dolphins
Movie- Er... I think it's The eyes of the Amarillas or something like that.
Fanfiction- Acquainted with the Night
Okay. That's it. Any questions, flames, comments, flames, requests, or flames will arrive in my inbox if you use the review feature. ^_^ Well, that's it. Remember, nothing is safe!!!! ^_^