As Sara reached the desk, she was immediately met by a young man who
guided her quickly back to Irons' office. She was a little surprised, not
really expecting to find that Ian had moved in so quickly. but then he
did have to keep up appearances, and as far as she knew he had told no one
of Irons' death. They should probably talk about that at some point too,
she thought, as they reached the door. Her guide left her as soon as the
door started to slide open, promptly disappearing down the hall as she
stepped in and stopped dead. Ian rose gracefully from behind his father's
desk. He had changed and was now wearing a suit in his accustomed black,
complete with black vest, shirt and tie. He does clean up well even if he
is a little limited in the colour department, she reminded herself, trying
to catch her breath as he crossed the room to greet her, concern and
pleasure displacing the cold business mask he was wearing.
He started to reach out for her but held back at the last moment, uncertainly, his hands out in front of him. She took them both gratefully, having recovered a little from the sight of him. She needed the reassurance now that it was just the two of them. This morning's stress was starting to catch up with her. Ian held her hands in his, enjoying this simple act, before releasing one of them and leading her to the couch. Setting her down, he took the chair next to her. Already he had come to welcome these little things, the simple normal touches that were a part of normal life but were to him unfamiliar, even while he craved so much more. But that was a thought to dwell upon another time. "I admit I wanted to see you badly, but I wasn't expecting you so soon. What has happened?" he asked.
"I'm sorry, this was not exactly part of my plans either. I'm sure I am taking up time that neither of us have."
"What is the problem?" he asked her, ignoring the comment about time, concerned. There was an edge to his tone that boded ill for the source of that discomfort. Fortunately, Sara was too distracted to notice.
"I just got dragged into my Captain's office this morning. Little matter of certain Vorschlag murders. Some bureaucrat from the Commissioners office is making trouble. I don't know what to do, I don't want you involved, hell, I don't want to be involved, but I don't see how we can avoid it. It's not like I can just turn this over to someone else." She sat still for a minute, looking down at his hand holding hers.
"Sara, I'm sure there is something that can be done, something to protect us both." His mind was racing for a solution, but found nothing that immediately came to mind. He considered and rejected several options out of hand, including simply removing the person that was causing her so much distress. Sara would not be pleased and he knew she would figure it out. Besides, it would also be a bit suspicious. Damn, bad enough Irons left him this mess, but he had to drag Sara and her career into his madness as well. Ian knew a simple bullet could no longer be a viable solution to every problem. "Who is this person that is giving you problems?"
The cold in his voice caused Sara to narrow her eyes at him. She could see the killer in him lurking, very close, just beneath the civilized business veneer and knew it would always be with her. What was she thinking getting involved with him, with this? But he was also going to have to change, he was no longer Irons' strong arm, he had to become something else himself. He could not keep up the appearance that his father lived forever.
"Nottingham, don't do anything that I would have to arrest you for. Don't even think about it."
"I have some different sources of information than you do," he explained, trying to cover the fact that his first thought had been exactly what she suspected. "I will see if I can find out anything." She held his gaze for a moment before replying, waiting for the unspoken promise that he would not do anything hasty.
"His name is Merano, and he woks for the commissioners office," she told him reluctantly, trying to figure out what Ian was planning.
"I will see what I can do." Sara gave him a sharp look. "What I can find out." He amended hastily. "We can discuss it over dinner?" He made the last a question, trying to be sure that she still wanted him in her apartment, in her life even. He knew that his reaction to the situation had held up an unflattering mirror to their disparities and he was unsure how to heal the breach. As much as his reaction might cause problems, though, he could not simply push it away. It was his duty, his honor to protect her, now he had to learn to use new tools to affect his designs. He tried to examine his thoughts, he was becoming a little too like his father. He had no desire to manipulate Sara, he simply wanted to keep her safe. It must be the surroundings, he thought, pushing away any further considerations to focus on her.
"Of course, you're still staying, aren't you?" Her answer surprised him, her determination to continue in spite of his mistake.
"I just wanted to be sure."
"Ian, why do you doubt me so much?" she gave him a troubled look, holding his hand between both of hers. She was still trying to get used to the changes in him. He went from business man, to killer, to lost little boy in the blink of an eye. But some how it made her even more determined to see things through. In itself, her reaction startled her, but now was not the time to let him see her own concerns.
"I don't doubt you, but you know this is new to me. I keep thinking it is a dream." He looked at her, unspoken apology in his soft brown eyes. Those eyes were enough to make her more certain than ever that she was doing the right thing. Needing to touch him, reassure him somehow, she slid her thumb under the cuff of his glove, just able to stroke his palm. Ian closed his eyes, her touch electric, intensely intimate, and yet reassuring. at the same time. "Thank you, Sara," he said a little breathlessly.
"Now, I can touch you, even with those," she told him, "at least until you are ready to put them away." He was still trying to get his mind back into the here and now. Her touch meant everything, letting him know that this weekend was not a dream. He was not going to wake up to a world without her. Now, this new situation was threatening the fragile peace they were trying to carve out for themselves. Ian was not going to let that happen, no matter what the cost. "I should go," she told him. "I do have a lot of work to do, and I'm sure you do too."
Ian rolled his eyes toward the desk, horror showing on his face. She laughed, so now she knew what truly frightened Ian Nottingham. No wonder the assistant was so nervous. Ian ducked his head a little at her laughter. "Are you sure you don't need me for something? I have a meeting this afternoon but." he asked her, his voice somewhere between desperation and humor.
"No, besides your presence would be suspicious and entirely too distracting." She gave him a quick kiss, stood up and left the room before he could recover, from either the compliment or the kiss.
"Get anything good?" Danny asked as Sara returned to the car, turning over things in her mind.
"Huh? No nothing we can use at the moment," she told him, sounding a little distracted. "He'll get back to me if he hears anything."
"Alright, so what's next?"
"Back to the office, go through the files, the usual."
"Great, another exciting day pushing paper for the city of New York." He grinned over at her but she was once again lost in thought. Danny was getting a little concerned. It was not like his partner to be so distracted. He wondered again what was up but decided now was not the time to ask.
As she and Danny headed back to the office, Sara tried to run through her options. There was one thing she knew she needed to do and she was not looking forward to it. She never liked talking to the department shrink but the doctor was the only one who might have an idea about Ian. It wasn't a good idea, but it was the best she could come up with at the moment. She waved her partner on in and took her phone from her pocket.
"Hello, Dr. Slomack? Yeah, Its Detective Pezzini, can I come by your office this afternoon, I need to ask you some questions." She listened to the doctor with one eye out for anyone around who might overhear. "No, its not about me, I just need some information."
Sara walked in and sat down at her desk and rifled through the file, it having failed to sink into the disaster area during their absence. She was still wondering how to handle the conversation with the doctor, not to mention exactly how she was going to get away from her partner. Explaining any of this to Danny would be hard, but right now it would be down right impossible, at least until she had more of it sorted out in her own mind. She was vaguely aware of Danny sitting at his desk, reviewing the files of background data, trying to get together a list of interviews to be conducted. Suddenly, he rose and closed the office door.
"Sara, I think we have something we need to talk about." There was an angry note in his voice that startled her.
"Yeah, Danny, what's up?"
"About that friend of yours? The one at Vorschlag?"
"Yeah.?" she asked, cautiously, little tendrils of concern creeping up her spine.
Danny dropped the two pictures he held onto the desk in front of her. The first was a stock file photo of Ian, from his Vorschlag personnel file, part of the data on employees they needed to interview, the other, one of the rare newspaper photos of Kenneth Irons, Ian standing in his accustomed place behind Irons' left shoulder. Sara looked down at the photos, her hands going to her temples as she tried to find a way to explain that would not anger her partner any more than he already was.
"When," Danny asked, his voice dangerously quiet, "were you planning to tell me that your.contact.your.boyfriend was Ian Nottingham, head of Vorschlag Security?"
Never? she thought desperately, knowing that she could not actually say that to her partner. "Danny, I." He cut her off.
"Jeez, no wonder he didn't give me a name. What is going on here partner? You spend a whole lot of time thinking Irons is suspicious, the you drop the whole case like a hot rock, you're acting weird. Now you turn up dating his right hand man. I know I promised to give you some time but still, blind faith, right? Not blind stupidity. How long did you think it would take for me to find out?"
"I wanted to tell you partner but things have been moving really fast around here. Life has gotten a little complicated at the moment."
"Complicated? You're dating someone who is involved in a murder investigation. It doesn't exactly get any more complicated. Give me one good reason why I shouldn't go to the Captain right now and have this case reassigned? No wonder it's going nowhere. You're too close."
"Don't you dare accuse me of trying to screw up this investigation, you know me better than that. The reason I didn't say anything to you had nothing to do with the case," she said, getting angry herself. "Look, I wanted to tell you, I trust you. But Ian doesn't know you, and if it gets around that we're together, it could be bad for both of us, not to mention my career."
"Then why not have yourself removed from the case? He could be a suspect, you know. He didn't get that job by being a pushover. He could be dangerous, Sara. How do you know he is not trying to get close to you because of the case?"
"Because I have access that another investigator doesn't. Besides, Ian is not a suspect."
"How do you know that? You know he could be in it right up to his eyes. Working for Irons, who knows what he is involved in, you said yourself that there was something off about him. Since when do you accept the word of anyone where a murder is concerned? Your perspective is way off."
"He has an alibi, Danny."
"Oh yeah, they all do. What kind of alibi could he possibly have."
"Me," she told him. That stopped Danny in his tracks. "Listen, partner, I should have told you, but I couldn't, ok? You know I like to keep my private life quiet. I did want to involve you in any of it, the case, Ian, this is a powder keg, and I don't want it to blow up in both of our faces. I know, we're partners but I just didn't want you getting in trouble, you have a family and I didn't want to be responsible."
"Well, I am involved, Sara, I'm your partner and partners are supposed to look out for each other, not keep secrets and go around behind each others backs. From now on I want you to keep me in the loop. We'll handle this all above board. That way if something happens it won't look like you trying to hide something. OK?"
"Yeah," she answered reluctantly. "But give me a day or two. Ian is looking into some things for me. I promise I will tell you as much as I can, as soon as I can, but some of it concerns him, OK? And I really need to talk to him before I can tell you anything else." She held up a hand to stop him. "Its not stuff about the case, not really, just stuff we need to work out between us first."
"All right, for now. But you play it straight with me or all bets are off."
"I understand and I will try ok?"
"Ok, one thing though, are you sure you trust this guy? I mean." he asked, his concern evident.
"With my life." She looked Danny squarely in the eyes. My God, I think this guy has really hooked her. Danny thought, amazed. Hope he's worth it.
"Good enough, Partner. For now." He returned to his desk, still a little uncomfortable with the situation. Sara had always had a taste for bad boys, but this was different. Nottingham may dress well, but he was not exactly an eagle scout, not in his line of work and certainly not working for Mr. Kenneth "more money than some small countries" Irons. She had been hurt plenty in the past and he was not going to stand by quietly and let him screw up her life. If it looked like there was something wrong with this guy, he would find a way to bust him.
"Hey Danny, I got to go and check on something, cover for me?"
"What's up, Partner?"
"Nothing, I just got to go see someone, no big deal." Danny looked at her, trying to reassure himself that it was not something he needed to worry about. But she looked ok, more her old self than she had in days. "Sure partner, I got your back."
"Thanks, I'll be back as soon as I can." She grabbed her jacket and tried to keep her feelings to herself. The shrink made her uncomfortable, but she didn't want to worry Danny any more than necessary and this was one thing that she couldn't share with him, or anyone else.
Sara walked into Dr. Slomack's office still trying to figure out what she was going to say. She did not really know what she was looking for even. She wanted to understand, to find a way to help Ian, but there was not a lot that she could say. She definitely couldn't tell her everything. Some of it was so out there that she would not have believed it herself if she hadn't known it was true.
After carefully checking the hall to make sure no one saw her, Sara knocked and was admitted to the office. It was a pretty small space, since the shrink was a consultant and only worked here part time. Over all it resembled any other city office, except that the books on the shelf were all related to psychology and mental illness. Dr. Elizabeth Slomack looked up at Sara and waved her into the chair on the other side of the desk. The doctor was a petite woman with flaming red hair, small wire framed glasses, and a taste for dressing casually. Sara had heard that some of the guys in the station thought she was hot, but were too nervous about her profession to ask her out. Sara thought that was pretty funny, a bunch of macho cops scared by a woman half their size. Of course she made Sara pretty nervous, too, but she had a few dozen good reasons to avoid shrinks.
"So detective, what brings you to see me? After our last talk I figured that you would pretty much do anything to avoid me."
"Nothing personal, Doctor, I just don't really like talking about myself. When I need to work out a problem I am more comfortable just going a few rounds with the bag in the gym. But I need to ask you some questions about something."
"Anything you like, is this in regards to a case?"
"Not exactly, it's kind of a personal thing."
"Well, that's what I am here for, how can I help?"
"What do you know about child abuse and mental conditioning?" she asked cautiously. The doctor looked at her a little startled. "Those are two subjects that I don't often hear about together. What is the context?"
"I don't know, not really. It's all a little confusing."
"OK, let's start with a simple question, is the child still in the home?"
"No, well, the victim isn't a child anymore, this started a long time ago. But I am pretty sure the abuse continued up until recently."
"Emotional, physical, sexual? Or some of each?"
"Mostly emotional, but I think there may have been physical as well. There was no sexual abuse, that I am sure of." More like anti-sexual abuse, she thought to herself and wondered if that was a symptom of something. But that was definitely not something she was going to discuss with this woman.
"Are the parents still in the person's life?"
"The father died recently, I don't know anything about the mother, but I don't think she has ever been around." Sara felt the tingling that usually heralded a vision, but resisted. The last thing she needed right here, right now was a vision.
"OK, so the father was the abuser."
"Yeah, but it is a lot more complicated than that. The father had all these rules, tried to get him to be emotionless, cold, and not touch anyone."
"What do you know about the father?" the doctor asked, filing Sara's slip away in her mind. Male victim, then, wonder if this is someone she is dating, she thought.
"Ruthless, cold, controlled, a little crazy I think. But the victim still loves him, I just don't get that, talks about all the good times they had. It's like that is supposed to make up for everything else." Sara was getting angry and the doctor was intrigued. She could see why Sara was good at her job; she had a real empathy for her victim. It probably made her a good friend and a very bad enemy.
"It is not uncommon in these cases, the victim tends to think it is their fault, to analyze their actions with an eye towards what they have done wrong. But then the same is true of the abuser."
"You aren't going to give me all that crap about the abuser usually being a victim are you? I really just don't buy that. I mean just because someone does something to you doesn't mean you pass it on."
"You may think it is crap, detective, but it also happens to be true, although in this case I would look for something different. The emotional control thing points more to someone who has been badly hurt, who wants to protect himself. Maybe your abuser wanted to protect his child from being hurt the same way? Its obsessive and extreme, I'll give you that, but it would not be the first time something like that has happened." Dr. Slomack paused a moment to think, then continued. "It is also possible that some of it is related to the mother, maybe some blame issues. Depending on what happened to her."
"I can't tell you anything about that," she said.
This time the tingling got stronger, and she saw a brief flash of Irons holding a baby. "She is never to be mentioned in this house again," he said as he took the baby and walked away.
"I really don't know, but I think maybe she died." Sara told her, covering the Witchblade with her hand and hoping that she had not given anything away. The last thing she needed was to zone out on the department shrink and loose her job. The doctor did not appear to notice, and Sara breathed an inward sigh of relief.
"If that's what happened it is possible that the father blamed the child in some way." Sara thought about what the doctor told her. Made sense in a way, you always want to protect your kids from the things that have hurt you, or frighten you. This wasn't getting her anywhere though. She was here to find out how to help Ian, not to get a psychological evaluation of the deceased Mr. Irons.
"This is all very interesting, but I need some help here. Can you give me some advice on how to help the victim?" How weird is that, she thought, Ian as a victim.
"All right, let's get started then."
When Sara left the doctor's office an hour later, she had a lot the think about and a few suggestions. It was very hard, trying to balance giving enough information to get what she needed without giving away anything. She hated playing all these word games, having all these secrets. She was an upfront kind of person and this was really making her nervous. But if it helped, it should be worth it. At least she hoped so. She wondered what to make of the vision, what Ian knew about his mother. He had never mentioned her at all. Should she tell him what she saw? And what did it mean anyway? One thing she was sure of now was definitely not the time to bring it up. She stored it away, figuring there would be time for it later.
He started to reach out for her but held back at the last moment, uncertainly, his hands out in front of him. She took them both gratefully, having recovered a little from the sight of him. She needed the reassurance now that it was just the two of them. This morning's stress was starting to catch up with her. Ian held her hands in his, enjoying this simple act, before releasing one of them and leading her to the couch. Setting her down, he took the chair next to her. Already he had come to welcome these little things, the simple normal touches that were a part of normal life but were to him unfamiliar, even while he craved so much more. But that was a thought to dwell upon another time. "I admit I wanted to see you badly, but I wasn't expecting you so soon. What has happened?" he asked.
"I'm sorry, this was not exactly part of my plans either. I'm sure I am taking up time that neither of us have."
"What is the problem?" he asked her, ignoring the comment about time, concerned. There was an edge to his tone that boded ill for the source of that discomfort. Fortunately, Sara was too distracted to notice.
"I just got dragged into my Captain's office this morning. Little matter of certain Vorschlag murders. Some bureaucrat from the Commissioners office is making trouble. I don't know what to do, I don't want you involved, hell, I don't want to be involved, but I don't see how we can avoid it. It's not like I can just turn this over to someone else." She sat still for a minute, looking down at his hand holding hers.
"Sara, I'm sure there is something that can be done, something to protect us both." His mind was racing for a solution, but found nothing that immediately came to mind. He considered and rejected several options out of hand, including simply removing the person that was causing her so much distress. Sara would not be pleased and he knew she would figure it out. Besides, it would also be a bit suspicious. Damn, bad enough Irons left him this mess, but he had to drag Sara and her career into his madness as well. Ian knew a simple bullet could no longer be a viable solution to every problem. "Who is this person that is giving you problems?"
The cold in his voice caused Sara to narrow her eyes at him. She could see the killer in him lurking, very close, just beneath the civilized business veneer and knew it would always be with her. What was she thinking getting involved with him, with this? But he was also going to have to change, he was no longer Irons' strong arm, he had to become something else himself. He could not keep up the appearance that his father lived forever.
"Nottingham, don't do anything that I would have to arrest you for. Don't even think about it."
"I have some different sources of information than you do," he explained, trying to cover the fact that his first thought had been exactly what she suspected. "I will see if I can find out anything." She held his gaze for a moment before replying, waiting for the unspoken promise that he would not do anything hasty.
"His name is Merano, and he woks for the commissioners office," she told him reluctantly, trying to figure out what Ian was planning.
"I will see what I can do." Sara gave him a sharp look. "What I can find out." He amended hastily. "We can discuss it over dinner?" He made the last a question, trying to be sure that she still wanted him in her apartment, in her life even. He knew that his reaction to the situation had held up an unflattering mirror to their disparities and he was unsure how to heal the breach. As much as his reaction might cause problems, though, he could not simply push it away. It was his duty, his honor to protect her, now he had to learn to use new tools to affect his designs. He tried to examine his thoughts, he was becoming a little too like his father. He had no desire to manipulate Sara, he simply wanted to keep her safe. It must be the surroundings, he thought, pushing away any further considerations to focus on her.
"Of course, you're still staying, aren't you?" Her answer surprised him, her determination to continue in spite of his mistake.
"I just wanted to be sure."
"Ian, why do you doubt me so much?" she gave him a troubled look, holding his hand between both of hers. She was still trying to get used to the changes in him. He went from business man, to killer, to lost little boy in the blink of an eye. But some how it made her even more determined to see things through. In itself, her reaction startled her, but now was not the time to let him see her own concerns.
"I don't doubt you, but you know this is new to me. I keep thinking it is a dream." He looked at her, unspoken apology in his soft brown eyes. Those eyes were enough to make her more certain than ever that she was doing the right thing. Needing to touch him, reassure him somehow, she slid her thumb under the cuff of his glove, just able to stroke his palm. Ian closed his eyes, her touch electric, intensely intimate, and yet reassuring. at the same time. "Thank you, Sara," he said a little breathlessly.
"Now, I can touch you, even with those," she told him, "at least until you are ready to put them away." He was still trying to get his mind back into the here and now. Her touch meant everything, letting him know that this weekend was not a dream. He was not going to wake up to a world without her. Now, this new situation was threatening the fragile peace they were trying to carve out for themselves. Ian was not going to let that happen, no matter what the cost. "I should go," she told him. "I do have a lot of work to do, and I'm sure you do too."
Ian rolled his eyes toward the desk, horror showing on his face. She laughed, so now she knew what truly frightened Ian Nottingham. No wonder the assistant was so nervous. Ian ducked his head a little at her laughter. "Are you sure you don't need me for something? I have a meeting this afternoon but." he asked her, his voice somewhere between desperation and humor.
"No, besides your presence would be suspicious and entirely too distracting." She gave him a quick kiss, stood up and left the room before he could recover, from either the compliment or the kiss.
"Get anything good?" Danny asked as Sara returned to the car, turning over things in her mind.
"Huh? No nothing we can use at the moment," she told him, sounding a little distracted. "He'll get back to me if he hears anything."
"Alright, so what's next?"
"Back to the office, go through the files, the usual."
"Great, another exciting day pushing paper for the city of New York." He grinned over at her but she was once again lost in thought. Danny was getting a little concerned. It was not like his partner to be so distracted. He wondered again what was up but decided now was not the time to ask.
As she and Danny headed back to the office, Sara tried to run through her options. There was one thing she knew she needed to do and she was not looking forward to it. She never liked talking to the department shrink but the doctor was the only one who might have an idea about Ian. It wasn't a good idea, but it was the best she could come up with at the moment. She waved her partner on in and took her phone from her pocket.
"Hello, Dr. Slomack? Yeah, Its Detective Pezzini, can I come by your office this afternoon, I need to ask you some questions." She listened to the doctor with one eye out for anyone around who might overhear. "No, its not about me, I just need some information."
Sara walked in and sat down at her desk and rifled through the file, it having failed to sink into the disaster area during their absence. She was still wondering how to handle the conversation with the doctor, not to mention exactly how she was going to get away from her partner. Explaining any of this to Danny would be hard, but right now it would be down right impossible, at least until she had more of it sorted out in her own mind. She was vaguely aware of Danny sitting at his desk, reviewing the files of background data, trying to get together a list of interviews to be conducted. Suddenly, he rose and closed the office door.
"Sara, I think we have something we need to talk about." There was an angry note in his voice that startled her.
"Yeah, Danny, what's up?"
"About that friend of yours? The one at Vorschlag?"
"Yeah.?" she asked, cautiously, little tendrils of concern creeping up her spine.
Danny dropped the two pictures he held onto the desk in front of her. The first was a stock file photo of Ian, from his Vorschlag personnel file, part of the data on employees they needed to interview, the other, one of the rare newspaper photos of Kenneth Irons, Ian standing in his accustomed place behind Irons' left shoulder. Sara looked down at the photos, her hands going to her temples as she tried to find a way to explain that would not anger her partner any more than he already was.
"When," Danny asked, his voice dangerously quiet, "were you planning to tell me that your.contact.your.boyfriend was Ian Nottingham, head of Vorschlag Security?"
Never? she thought desperately, knowing that she could not actually say that to her partner. "Danny, I." He cut her off.
"Jeez, no wonder he didn't give me a name. What is going on here partner? You spend a whole lot of time thinking Irons is suspicious, the you drop the whole case like a hot rock, you're acting weird. Now you turn up dating his right hand man. I know I promised to give you some time but still, blind faith, right? Not blind stupidity. How long did you think it would take for me to find out?"
"I wanted to tell you partner but things have been moving really fast around here. Life has gotten a little complicated at the moment."
"Complicated? You're dating someone who is involved in a murder investigation. It doesn't exactly get any more complicated. Give me one good reason why I shouldn't go to the Captain right now and have this case reassigned? No wonder it's going nowhere. You're too close."
"Don't you dare accuse me of trying to screw up this investigation, you know me better than that. The reason I didn't say anything to you had nothing to do with the case," she said, getting angry herself. "Look, I wanted to tell you, I trust you. But Ian doesn't know you, and if it gets around that we're together, it could be bad for both of us, not to mention my career."
"Then why not have yourself removed from the case? He could be a suspect, you know. He didn't get that job by being a pushover. He could be dangerous, Sara. How do you know he is not trying to get close to you because of the case?"
"Because I have access that another investigator doesn't. Besides, Ian is not a suspect."
"How do you know that? You know he could be in it right up to his eyes. Working for Irons, who knows what he is involved in, you said yourself that there was something off about him. Since when do you accept the word of anyone where a murder is concerned? Your perspective is way off."
"He has an alibi, Danny."
"Oh yeah, they all do. What kind of alibi could he possibly have."
"Me," she told him. That stopped Danny in his tracks. "Listen, partner, I should have told you, but I couldn't, ok? You know I like to keep my private life quiet. I did want to involve you in any of it, the case, Ian, this is a powder keg, and I don't want it to blow up in both of our faces. I know, we're partners but I just didn't want you getting in trouble, you have a family and I didn't want to be responsible."
"Well, I am involved, Sara, I'm your partner and partners are supposed to look out for each other, not keep secrets and go around behind each others backs. From now on I want you to keep me in the loop. We'll handle this all above board. That way if something happens it won't look like you trying to hide something. OK?"
"Yeah," she answered reluctantly. "But give me a day or two. Ian is looking into some things for me. I promise I will tell you as much as I can, as soon as I can, but some of it concerns him, OK? And I really need to talk to him before I can tell you anything else." She held up a hand to stop him. "Its not stuff about the case, not really, just stuff we need to work out between us first."
"All right, for now. But you play it straight with me or all bets are off."
"I understand and I will try ok?"
"Ok, one thing though, are you sure you trust this guy? I mean." he asked, his concern evident.
"With my life." She looked Danny squarely in the eyes. My God, I think this guy has really hooked her. Danny thought, amazed. Hope he's worth it.
"Good enough, Partner. For now." He returned to his desk, still a little uncomfortable with the situation. Sara had always had a taste for bad boys, but this was different. Nottingham may dress well, but he was not exactly an eagle scout, not in his line of work and certainly not working for Mr. Kenneth "more money than some small countries" Irons. She had been hurt plenty in the past and he was not going to stand by quietly and let him screw up her life. If it looked like there was something wrong with this guy, he would find a way to bust him.
"Hey Danny, I got to go and check on something, cover for me?"
"What's up, Partner?"
"Nothing, I just got to go see someone, no big deal." Danny looked at her, trying to reassure himself that it was not something he needed to worry about. But she looked ok, more her old self than she had in days. "Sure partner, I got your back."
"Thanks, I'll be back as soon as I can." She grabbed her jacket and tried to keep her feelings to herself. The shrink made her uncomfortable, but she didn't want to worry Danny any more than necessary and this was one thing that she couldn't share with him, or anyone else.
Sara walked into Dr. Slomack's office still trying to figure out what she was going to say. She did not really know what she was looking for even. She wanted to understand, to find a way to help Ian, but there was not a lot that she could say. She definitely couldn't tell her everything. Some of it was so out there that she would not have believed it herself if she hadn't known it was true.
After carefully checking the hall to make sure no one saw her, Sara knocked and was admitted to the office. It was a pretty small space, since the shrink was a consultant and only worked here part time. Over all it resembled any other city office, except that the books on the shelf were all related to psychology and mental illness. Dr. Elizabeth Slomack looked up at Sara and waved her into the chair on the other side of the desk. The doctor was a petite woman with flaming red hair, small wire framed glasses, and a taste for dressing casually. Sara had heard that some of the guys in the station thought she was hot, but were too nervous about her profession to ask her out. Sara thought that was pretty funny, a bunch of macho cops scared by a woman half their size. Of course she made Sara pretty nervous, too, but she had a few dozen good reasons to avoid shrinks.
"So detective, what brings you to see me? After our last talk I figured that you would pretty much do anything to avoid me."
"Nothing personal, Doctor, I just don't really like talking about myself. When I need to work out a problem I am more comfortable just going a few rounds with the bag in the gym. But I need to ask you some questions about something."
"Anything you like, is this in regards to a case?"
"Not exactly, it's kind of a personal thing."
"Well, that's what I am here for, how can I help?"
"What do you know about child abuse and mental conditioning?" she asked cautiously. The doctor looked at her a little startled. "Those are two subjects that I don't often hear about together. What is the context?"
"I don't know, not really. It's all a little confusing."
"OK, let's start with a simple question, is the child still in the home?"
"No, well, the victim isn't a child anymore, this started a long time ago. But I am pretty sure the abuse continued up until recently."
"Emotional, physical, sexual? Or some of each?"
"Mostly emotional, but I think there may have been physical as well. There was no sexual abuse, that I am sure of." More like anti-sexual abuse, she thought to herself and wondered if that was a symptom of something. But that was definitely not something she was going to discuss with this woman.
"Are the parents still in the person's life?"
"The father died recently, I don't know anything about the mother, but I don't think she has ever been around." Sara felt the tingling that usually heralded a vision, but resisted. The last thing she needed right here, right now was a vision.
"OK, so the father was the abuser."
"Yeah, but it is a lot more complicated than that. The father had all these rules, tried to get him to be emotionless, cold, and not touch anyone."
"What do you know about the father?" the doctor asked, filing Sara's slip away in her mind. Male victim, then, wonder if this is someone she is dating, she thought.
"Ruthless, cold, controlled, a little crazy I think. But the victim still loves him, I just don't get that, talks about all the good times they had. It's like that is supposed to make up for everything else." Sara was getting angry and the doctor was intrigued. She could see why Sara was good at her job; she had a real empathy for her victim. It probably made her a good friend and a very bad enemy.
"It is not uncommon in these cases, the victim tends to think it is their fault, to analyze their actions with an eye towards what they have done wrong. But then the same is true of the abuser."
"You aren't going to give me all that crap about the abuser usually being a victim are you? I really just don't buy that. I mean just because someone does something to you doesn't mean you pass it on."
"You may think it is crap, detective, but it also happens to be true, although in this case I would look for something different. The emotional control thing points more to someone who has been badly hurt, who wants to protect himself. Maybe your abuser wanted to protect his child from being hurt the same way? Its obsessive and extreme, I'll give you that, but it would not be the first time something like that has happened." Dr. Slomack paused a moment to think, then continued. "It is also possible that some of it is related to the mother, maybe some blame issues. Depending on what happened to her."
"I can't tell you anything about that," she said.
This time the tingling got stronger, and she saw a brief flash of Irons holding a baby. "She is never to be mentioned in this house again," he said as he took the baby and walked away.
"I really don't know, but I think maybe she died." Sara told her, covering the Witchblade with her hand and hoping that she had not given anything away. The last thing she needed was to zone out on the department shrink and loose her job. The doctor did not appear to notice, and Sara breathed an inward sigh of relief.
"If that's what happened it is possible that the father blamed the child in some way." Sara thought about what the doctor told her. Made sense in a way, you always want to protect your kids from the things that have hurt you, or frighten you. This wasn't getting her anywhere though. She was here to find out how to help Ian, not to get a psychological evaluation of the deceased Mr. Irons.
"This is all very interesting, but I need some help here. Can you give me some advice on how to help the victim?" How weird is that, she thought, Ian as a victim.
"All right, let's get started then."
When Sara left the doctor's office an hour later, she had a lot the think about and a few suggestions. It was very hard, trying to balance giving enough information to get what she needed without giving away anything. She hated playing all these word games, having all these secrets. She was an upfront kind of person and this was really making her nervous. But if it helped, it should be worth it. At least she hoped so. She wondered what to make of the vision, what Ian knew about his mother. He had never mentioned her at all. Should she tell him what she saw? And what did it mean anyway? One thing she was sure of now was definitely not the time to bring it up. She stored it away, figuring there would be time for it later.