Disclaimer:
I own nothing.
Thank you everybody for your reviews and please keep them coming. Sorry I haven't updated for so long but with Christmas and New Year's Eve I was just too busy to write.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"There used to be two as one but somehow time separated them. That is why everyone is searching for the other half."
The words echoed in Buffy's head repeating themselves over and over like a tune one could not forget. She did not know what they meant but somehow she felt that this was some ancient, universal knowledge that she and the rest of the world had somehow forgotten.
She had dreamt them. But the dream itself had even been stranger. Nothing had happened in her dream; all she could remember was that she was whole. Wholeness and some kind of blue-ish ether that was simply everywhere. But where was everywhere? The space seemed to stretch forever but yet it seemed to have no dimension at all. Just existence. She was not even sure that it had been blue, it had just felt calm, peaceful and full of simple happiness. It felt like a memory of how things were right at the beginning and actually were supposed to be.
The strangest and most disconcerting element of the dream was that she associated it with one person.
"Spike."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The coppery taste of blood flowed down his throat. The heartbeat of the man he was holding was getting weaker by the second. The man's blood was injected with adrenaline. It invigorated him and put him into the state of complete elation he was craving.
Suddenly he felt something hard hit his head. The pain was enough distraction for him to let the lifeless body of the man slump to the floor. He didn't care about the last drops of blood that were left in that man. But he did care for some more fresh blood.
The "happy meal" that had hit him was one of the local 24/7 shop owners, a slimy bloke of about 35 years. He was slightly overweight, was wearing dirty grey pants and a filthy white vest stained with the leftovers of at least his last five meals. Long, wiry hair grew on his exposed chubby upper arms. His dark hair was slicked back with some sort of styling product and held together in a tiny ponytail. In his hand he was holding a baseball bat.
When he saw the vampire's distorted face and yellow demonic eyes he took a few steps backwards, his small, rat-like eyes nearly bulged out of its sockets and pearls of sweat began to form on his forehead.
But instead of being frightened to death the grimy man became even more enraged. He squinted his eyes as if trying to focus a bit more on a target. Gripping the baseball bat even tighter he yelled with a slightly shaky voice: "What the fuck are you? I am going to show you freaks what happens when you come into my area and scare off the customers."
To a vampire's enhanced sense of smell the stench, a mixture of sweat, alcohol and food, that emanated from the man was unbearable.
It took Spike only a second to reach to man. Without even a pang of conscience Spike snapped the man's neck and cursed the fact that he had to look for another victim.
Suddenly he felt the presence of the Slayer.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Buffy? Are you ok? What about Spike?," Willow asked.
Buffy had not noticed that she had spoken his name out loud. Willow was staring at her with a worried expression.
"I had this really weird dream. It could have been a Slayer dream," Buffy replied., "But I don't know. I just know that it was about fang-face but I can't remember what it was about. Guess he has been on my mind since our last fight. I can't wait to finish him off."
She had not told Willow the full truth. The feelings the dream had evoked in her were not the usual ones Spike would provoke in her but the complete opposite. Being loved. It had felt so good and right. Usually dreams were foreshadowing apocalypses and afterwards she would feel terrified. But the words "good" and "right" were completely incompatible with Spike. Moreover, she just could not stop thinking about their kisses. How could something so wrong feel so right? Nobody could ever find out. After the episode with Angel they would only judge her. And they had every right to do so.
Killing Spike was the only alternative she had. It was the wisest choice. Thinking of the kisses would make things only worse. After all, he was a vampire and therefore dangerous. She had to kill him. It. She had to kill it. It was not human but merely a demon inhabiting an empty body. Soulless, without human emotions. It's raison d'être was feeding on blood.
It had been a week since their last encounter and her arm had fully healed. There was no reason not to go out looking for him. God knows how many people he had killed. Although Giles and her friends had been patrolling they had not come across Spike and had only dusted some inexperienced fledglings. Buffy felt relieved that they had not run into Spike. He was so much stronger then they were and it would have been easy for him to kill them.
Time to go slaying.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Slayer", Spike spat maliciously, his face melting into its human form, "How is your arm? Fit to fight? I surely hope so, otherwise killing you won't be any fun. No challenge."
"Did you just kill that poor man for no reason?", Buffy asked.
Spike smirked and replied in a voice that conveyed his utter disgust: "Do you really think I would have fed off him? Can't you smell him? I got some kind of self respect."
"You? Self respect? Just look at you! Your outfit is so last season. Or should I say last two decades? You look so pathetic."
"What! You don't even know what you are talking about, Slayer. That outfit is timeless."
The furious look on Spike's face was priceless. For the simple reason to infuriate and annoy him even further she looked him up and down in her most arrogant and condescending way.
But deep down she thought that he looked incredibly handsome and sexy. Normally, the bad boy look would not make her swoon but it was all different with Spike. Although she hated his arrogance and huge self esteem she could not help feeling immensely attracted to him for the same reasons she despised him for.
Enraged by Buffy's disdainful expression Spike attacked her intend on causing her to lose her balance. But Buffy saw his offense coming and stepped with little effort out of the way.
Spike stumbled and fell onto the ground. A sequence of vulgar curses came out of his mouth. He immediately jumped back onto his feet glaring hatefully at Buffy who could not stop laughing.
"Bitch.", he sneered, "You are going to regret this."
"You should have seen yourself! You should see your face!", Buffy giggled. "The "big bad" can't even charge at the slayer without tripping and falling on his arse!"
She could no longer control herself. The giggles would not stop but every time she tried to calm down she started laughing again.
Spike saw his chance and took advantage of her debilitated state punching her into the face. She stumbled backwards, too surprised to react to his attack.
But she recovered very quickly from his punch and now Buffy was the one who charged at Spike. Spike welcomed her sudden violent outburst and counterattacked.
The mortal enemies engaged in a fight that no-one was winning. Their strength was about equal but the real reason why nobody was winning was that neither of them wanted to win. Subconsciously, they did not even want to fight but were simply doing it out of pure obligation. Both Buffy and Spike were afraid of what they would be compelled to do if one of them won the fight.
Buffy and Spike were fighting for about an hour in the middle of the street. But this part of Sunnydale was dead at this time of the night and not a single car or person passed by witnessing the fight.
They were so engaged in exchanging blows that they did not hear the car that was approaching at high speed.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The rough surface of the wall Spike had thrown Buffy into was bruising her back. Her head was still ringing from when it had hit the wall. A small nail that had stuck out of the brickwork had pierced her new top and scraped her skin. The fight was depleting all her energy. Trying to stay upright she pushed herself away from the wall and gingerly felt her wound. It seemed to be only a superficial scratch but nevertheless it was hurting like hell.
For neither of them the fight was going very well. A wave of dizziness washed over Buffy. She tried to stay upright and focus, knowing very well that she would be as good as dead should she now lose consciousness.
Spike was standing sideways in the middle of the road glaring at her, waiting for her to make a move. Only now Buffy noticed that he was in full game face. She could not remember when he had changed during their fight. Although he looked truly frightening she could tell that he too was probably as exhausted as she was.
He was snarling at her, showing off his sharp fangs, his demonic eyes gleaming dangerously. His pale visage and white hair reflected the moonlight giving him a supernatural glow. To anybody else Spike would have looked like the demon he was; a creature that was not from this world, otherworldly strong and incredibly dangerous. But Buffy saw that she had weakened him a lot. Blood was flowing down the left side of his face from a large gash at his temple. He also seemed to have serious problems standing upright. Desperately trying to keep his balance he was swaying back and forth while trying to focus on Buffy.
The sight of a worn out Spike lightened Buffy's mood. At least she was not the only one who felt beaten.
They continued staring at each other, neither feeling well enough to attack the other. Neither Buffy nor Spike had enough strength left to pay attention to their surroundings and also concentrate on the next assault from their respective adversary. All that mattered was the other person. Losing concentration would mean defeat and ultimately death.
After what seemed like an eternity Buffy heard all of a sudden the sound of a car engine. She turned her head and saw a swerving car approaching Spike at a very high-speed. The car's headlights were not switched on and she could only guess from the way the driver was handling the car that he was either drunk or high on some kind of other drugs.
As Spike did not seem to notice the car Buffy screamed frantically: "Spike! Get out of the way!"
Spike did not react fast enough to her screams. The driver of the vehicle did not seem to notice anybody standing in the middle of the road as the car continued on its path and even accelerated. The sound of the engine was getting louder and louder.
Buffy panicked and rushed over to Spike pushing him just in time out of the car's reach.
With a loud thud Spike's back connected with the solid pavement on the other side of the road. He groaned and looked up at Buffy who had landed on top of him.
Neither of them moved. Buffy looked into his now azure eyes that gazed at her with an expression of complete surprise and confusion.
She could not believe what she had just done. She had saved him. Letting him get run over by the car would have solved all her problems. He would have certainly been hurt enough to be incapable to fight and then she could have staked him. Easy. Problem solved. One crazy serial killer less. But no. She had to save him. Her reaction had been purely out of instinct. She had felt like she could not let him die. Oh god!
Spike could not believe that Buffy had saved him. And by the looks of it she could not believe it either. He did not dare to move. One move and their closeness would be destroyed. It felt nice to hold her warm body in his arms. He wished it would never end and wondered what it would be like to be able to hold her any time he liked. Having such thoughts about the slayer shocked him to the core. She was his mortal enemy, not his soul mate for fuck's sake! Having any kind of feelings for her was just completely wrong!
Buffy did not understand the world anymore. Here she was, lying in her enemy's arms and actually enjoying his embrace. The exhaustion must have messed up her brain. His face was so close to hers. Actually it now seemed even closer than it had a minute ago. Was she inching in on him? Or he on her?
His mouth was practically on hers; the space separating his from hers was so minimal that she could feel tiny electric sparks jumping between their lips. It was as if she could already sense traces of the touch that was about to come.
And there it was. She had admitted it. They were going to kiss again and they both wanted it. He too had leaned in for the kiss. Even now that she realized what was about to happen she had no intention of stopping it. She wanted it. She wanted him.
His lips were soft. Everything around her lost its meaning. The only important thing was Spike. This time the kiss felt even better than the last time. People always say that the first kiss is the best one but she had to disagree. His kisses seemed to get better. Their first one had been demonic and passionate. The second one had been a lot more human and loving. But this one was a combination of the first two. It was so passionate but yet at the same time full of feelings. Maybe she just imagined them to get better because each time they kissed was even more forbidden than the time before. One slip-up was bad enough. Two were even worse. But the more they kissed the more they got into trouble. What they did was forbidden but maybe that was why it just got better.
Spike felt himself get hard and slipped one hand under Buffy's shirt caressing the small of her back slowly working his way towards her breasts.
She felt his excitement and mewled slightly pressing herself onto him. Their kiss intensified and Spike finally dared to stroke her breast.
But suddenly Buffy broke the kiss and stared full of shock into his blue eyes that were clouded with lust. She was panting slightly and felt ashamed of what she had just done. Nevertheless, she did not move off Spike not feeling ready what would happen when they lost this intense intimacy.
Spike did not understand what was happening. He wanted her so badly. But the strangest thing was that he did not only want to shag her and then rip her throat out, he actually wanted to be with her. What was wrong with him? And the Slayer, well, he knew that she wanted him as badly as he wanted her. He could smell the sweet aroma of her arousal and it turned him on even more. Why had she stopped?
He knew the reason. It was wrong. Why was she just so goody-good? He was not going to tell anybody. Well, actually, fucking the Slayer was something a demon could brag about. But then again, he did not just want to fuck her. He wanted her.
She was the first one to break the silence. "What is going on Spike? Why are we doing this? I, I, I don't.", she trailed off.
"I don't understand it either pet. I don't know what's going on. All I know is that I can't stop thinking of you. I had the chance to kill you the other day. I couldn't do it. What is this? Why do I feel this way?", Spike blurted out.
Buffy got off him and sat down next to him: "I have to get this, us out of my system. I mean, there is no "us". That is the problem."
"You want there to be an "us"?", Spike wondered.
"NO", Buffy yelped, "I want the opposite. I want my life back. At least the life I had before. When everything was defined. Me Slayer, you vampire. You are a fiend from hell and I slay monsters like you. No strange feelings involved. Got it?"
"Sure Slayer.", Spike replied. It was as if she had punched him with her words. She thought of him as a "fiend from hell". Well, technically he was, but since they had just made out "fiend from hell" was not something he wanted to hear from her at that moment.
"How about a time-out?", he asked.
Buffy looked at him somewhat puzzled: "What do you mean with time-out? If you are implying that we should have sex right here, right now, and afterwards go back to killing each other, then you are out of your mind. What do you think I am? A whore?"
Although he would not have objected to a shag, it was not what he had thought of. "Actually, Slayer, I was thinking of a date.", Spike told her.
"A date? You are out of your mind! I so cannot be seen with you. And anyway, it will just be a trap knowing you.", Buffy exclaimed.
Spike felt incredibly stupid. Why in the world had he suggested a date? Why could he not shut his trap before saying something that ridiculous?
"Well, whatever Slayer. Suit yourself. You wanna go on fighting? I'm all up for it." With these words Spike tried to stand up, nearly collapsing again as the world started spinning around him. Leaning against a wall for some support he glared at Buffy who he expected to be enjoying his obvious discomfort.
But Buffy simply looked sadly at him and unexpectedly agreed: "Ok, let's go on a date. For the time of the date we will not try to kill, harm or trick each other. We will get whatever this is out of our system so we can go back to killing each other. But there is one condition. We are not meeting in Sunnydale. I don't want anybody to see me with you. Deal?"
Buffy could not believe her eyes. Spike smiled at her. It was a genuine smile and not his usual smirk. It lit up his whole face and perfected the deception that his human mask tried to achieve.
"Deal.", he replied and shook her outstretched hand.
Thank you everybody for your reviews and please keep them coming. Sorry I haven't updated for so long but with Christmas and New Year's Eve I was just too busy to write.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"There used to be two as one but somehow time separated them. That is why everyone is searching for the other half."
The words echoed in Buffy's head repeating themselves over and over like a tune one could not forget. She did not know what they meant but somehow she felt that this was some ancient, universal knowledge that she and the rest of the world had somehow forgotten.
She had dreamt them. But the dream itself had even been stranger. Nothing had happened in her dream; all she could remember was that she was whole. Wholeness and some kind of blue-ish ether that was simply everywhere. But where was everywhere? The space seemed to stretch forever but yet it seemed to have no dimension at all. Just existence. She was not even sure that it had been blue, it had just felt calm, peaceful and full of simple happiness. It felt like a memory of how things were right at the beginning and actually were supposed to be.
The strangest and most disconcerting element of the dream was that she associated it with one person.
"Spike."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The coppery taste of blood flowed down his throat. The heartbeat of the man he was holding was getting weaker by the second. The man's blood was injected with adrenaline. It invigorated him and put him into the state of complete elation he was craving.
Suddenly he felt something hard hit his head. The pain was enough distraction for him to let the lifeless body of the man slump to the floor. He didn't care about the last drops of blood that were left in that man. But he did care for some more fresh blood.
The "happy meal" that had hit him was one of the local 24/7 shop owners, a slimy bloke of about 35 years. He was slightly overweight, was wearing dirty grey pants and a filthy white vest stained with the leftovers of at least his last five meals. Long, wiry hair grew on his exposed chubby upper arms. His dark hair was slicked back with some sort of styling product and held together in a tiny ponytail. In his hand he was holding a baseball bat.
When he saw the vampire's distorted face and yellow demonic eyes he took a few steps backwards, his small, rat-like eyes nearly bulged out of its sockets and pearls of sweat began to form on his forehead.
But instead of being frightened to death the grimy man became even more enraged. He squinted his eyes as if trying to focus a bit more on a target. Gripping the baseball bat even tighter he yelled with a slightly shaky voice: "What the fuck are you? I am going to show you freaks what happens when you come into my area and scare off the customers."
To a vampire's enhanced sense of smell the stench, a mixture of sweat, alcohol and food, that emanated from the man was unbearable.
It took Spike only a second to reach to man. Without even a pang of conscience Spike snapped the man's neck and cursed the fact that he had to look for another victim.
Suddenly he felt the presence of the Slayer.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Buffy? Are you ok? What about Spike?," Willow asked.
Buffy had not noticed that she had spoken his name out loud. Willow was staring at her with a worried expression.
"I had this really weird dream. It could have been a Slayer dream," Buffy replied., "But I don't know. I just know that it was about fang-face but I can't remember what it was about. Guess he has been on my mind since our last fight. I can't wait to finish him off."
She had not told Willow the full truth. The feelings the dream had evoked in her were not the usual ones Spike would provoke in her but the complete opposite. Being loved. It had felt so good and right. Usually dreams were foreshadowing apocalypses and afterwards she would feel terrified. But the words "good" and "right" were completely incompatible with Spike. Moreover, she just could not stop thinking about their kisses. How could something so wrong feel so right? Nobody could ever find out. After the episode with Angel they would only judge her. And they had every right to do so.
Killing Spike was the only alternative she had. It was the wisest choice. Thinking of the kisses would make things only worse. After all, he was a vampire and therefore dangerous. She had to kill him. It. She had to kill it. It was not human but merely a demon inhabiting an empty body. Soulless, without human emotions. It's raison d'être was feeding on blood.
It had been a week since their last encounter and her arm had fully healed. There was no reason not to go out looking for him. God knows how many people he had killed. Although Giles and her friends had been patrolling they had not come across Spike and had only dusted some inexperienced fledglings. Buffy felt relieved that they had not run into Spike. He was so much stronger then they were and it would have been easy for him to kill them.
Time to go slaying.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Slayer", Spike spat maliciously, his face melting into its human form, "How is your arm? Fit to fight? I surely hope so, otherwise killing you won't be any fun. No challenge."
"Did you just kill that poor man for no reason?", Buffy asked.
Spike smirked and replied in a voice that conveyed his utter disgust: "Do you really think I would have fed off him? Can't you smell him? I got some kind of self respect."
"You? Self respect? Just look at you! Your outfit is so last season. Or should I say last two decades? You look so pathetic."
"What! You don't even know what you are talking about, Slayer. That outfit is timeless."
The furious look on Spike's face was priceless. For the simple reason to infuriate and annoy him even further she looked him up and down in her most arrogant and condescending way.
But deep down she thought that he looked incredibly handsome and sexy. Normally, the bad boy look would not make her swoon but it was all different with Spike. Although she hated his arrogance and huge self esteem she could not help feeling immensely attracted to him for the same reasons she despised him for.
Enraged by Buffy's disdainful expression Spike attacked her intend on causing her to lose her balance. But Buffy saw his offense coming and stepped with little effort out of the way.
Spike stumbled and fell onto the ground. A sequence of vulgar curses came out of his mouth. He immediately jumped back onto his feet glaring hatefully at Buffy who could not stop laughing.
"Bitch.", he sneered, "You are going to regret this."
"You should have seen yourself! You should see your face!", Buffy giggled. "The "big bad" can't even charge at the slayer without tripping and falling on his arse!"
She could no longer control herself. The giggles would not stop but every time she tried to calm down she started laughing again.
Spike saw his chance and took advantage of her debilitated state punching her into the face. She stumbled backwards, too surprised to react to his attack.
But she recovered very quickly from his punch and now Buffy was the one who charged at Spike. Spike welcomed her sudden violent outburst and counterattacked.
The mortal enemies engaged in a fight that no-one was winning. Their strength was about equal but the real reason why nobody was winning was that neither of them wanted to win. Subconsciously, they did not even want to fight but were simply doing it out of pure obligation. Both Buffy and Spike were afraid of what they would be compelled to do if one of them won the fight.
Buffy and Spike were fighting for about an hour in the middle of the street. But this part of Sunnydale was dead at this time of the night and not a single car or person passed by witnessing the fight.
They were so engaged in exchanging blows that they did not hear the car that was approaching at high speed.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The rough surface of the wall Spike had thrown Buffy into was bruising her back. Her head was still ringing from when it had hit the wall. A small nail that had stuck out of the brickwork had pierced her new top and scraped her skin. The fight was depleting all her energy. Trying to stay upright she pushed herself away from the wall and gingerly felt her wound. It seemed to be only a superficial scratch but nevertheless it was hurting like hell.
For neither of them the fight was going very well. A wave of dizziness washed over Buffy. She tried to stay upright and focus, knowing very well that she would be as good as dead should she now lose consciousness.
Spike was standing sideways in the middle of the road glaring at her, waiting for her to make a move. Only now Buffy noticed that he was in full game face. She could not remember when he had changed during their fight. Although he looked truly frightening she could tell that he too was probably as exhausted as she was.
He was snarling at her, showing off his sharp fangs, his demonic eyes gleaming dangerously. His pale visage and white hair reflected the moonlight giving him a supernatural glow. To anybody else Spike would have looked like the demon he was; a creature that was not from this world, otherworldly strong and incredibly dangerous. But Buffy saw that she had weakened him a lot. Blood was flowing down the left side of his face from a large gash at his temple. He also seemed to have serious problems standing upright. Desperately trying to keep his balance he was swaying back and forth while trying to focus on Buffy.
The sight of a worn out Spike lightened Buffy's mood. At least she was not the only one who felt beaten.
They continued staring at each other, neither feeling well enough to attack the other. Neither Buffy nor Spike had enough strength left to pay attention to their surroundings and also concentrate on the next assault from their respective adversary. All that mattered was the other person. Losing concentration would mean defeat and ultimately death.
After what seemed like an eternity Buffy heard all of a sudden the sound of a car engine. She turned her head and saw a swerving car approaching Spike at a very high-speed. The car's headlights were not switched on and she could only guess from the way the driver was handling the car that he was either drunk or high on some kind of other drugs.
As Spike did not seem to notice the car Buffy screamed frantically: "Spike! Get out of the way!"
Spike did not react fast enough to her screams. The driver of the vehicle did not seem to notice anybody standing in the middle of the road as the car continued on its path and even accelerated. The sound of the engine was getting louder and louder.
Buffy panicked and rushed over to Spike pushing him just in time out of the car's reach.
With a loud thud Spike's back connected with the solid pavement on the other side of the road. He groaned and looked up at Buffy who had landed on top of him.
Neither of them moved. Buffy looked into his now azure eyes that gazed at her with an expression of complete surprise and confusion.
She could not believe what she had just done. She had saved him. Letting him get run over by the car would have solved all her problems. He would have certainly been hurt enough to be incapable to fight and then she could have staked him. Easy. Problem solved. One crazy serial killer less. But no. She had to save him. Her reaction had been purely out of instinct. She had felt like she could not let him die. Oh god!
Spike could not believe that Buffy had saved him. And by the looks of it she could not believe it either. He did not dare to move. One move and their closeness would be destroyed. It felt nice to hold her warm body in his arms. He wished it would never end and wondered what it would be like to be able to hold her any time he liked. Having such thoughts about the slayer shocked him to the core. She was his mortal enemy, not his soul mate for fuck's sake! Having any kind of feelings for her was just completely wrong!
Buffy did not understand the world anymore. Here she was, lying in her enemy's arms and actually enjoying his embrace. The exhaustion must have messed up her brain. His face was so close to hers. Actually it now seemed even closer than it had a minute ago. Was she inching in on him? Or he on her?
His mouth was practically on hers; the space separating his from hers was so minimal that she could feel tiny electric sparks jumping between their lips. It was as if she could already sense traces of the touch that was about to come.
And there it was. She had admitted it. They were going to kiss again and they both wanted it. He too had leaned in for the kiss. Even now that she realized what was about to happen she had no intention of stopping it. She wanted it. She wanted him.
His lips were soft. Everything around her lost its meaning. The only important thing was Spike. This time the kiss felt even better than the last time. People always say that the first kiss is the best one but she had to disagree. His kisses seemed to get better. Their first one had been demonic and passionate. The second one had been a lot more human and loving. But this one was a combination of the first two. It was so passionate but yet at the same time full of feelings. Maybe she just imagined them to get better because each time they kissed was even more forbidden than the time before. One slip-up was bad enough. Two were even worse. But the more they kissed the more they got into trouble. What they did was forbidden but maybe that was why it just got better.
Spike felt himself get hard and slipped one hand under Buffy's shirt caressing the small of her back slowly working his way towards her breasts.
She felt his excitement and mewled slightly pressing herself onto him. Their kiss intensified and Spike finally dared to stroke her breast.
But suddenly Buffy broke the kiss and stared full of shock into his blue eyes that were clouded with lust. She was panting slightly and felt ashamed of what she had just done. Nevertheless, she did not move off Spike not feeling ready what would happen when they lost this intense intimacy.
Spike did not understand what was happening. He wanted her so badly. But the strangest thing was that he did not only want to shag her and then rip her throat out, he actually wanted to be with her. What was wrong with him? And the Slayer, well, he knew that she wanted him as badly as he wanted her. He could smell the sweet aroma of her arousal and it turned him on even more. Why had she stopped?
He knew the reason. It was wrong. Why was she just so goody-good? He was not going to tell anybody. Well, actually, fucking the Slayer was something a demon could brag about. But then again, he did not just want to fuck her. He wanted her.
She was the first one to break the silence. "What is going on Spike? Why are we doing this? I, I, I don't.", she trailed off.
"I don't understand it either pet. I don't know what's going on. All I know is that I can't stop thinking of you. I had the chance to kill you the other day. I couldn't do it. What is this? Why do I feel this way?", Spike blurted out.
Buffy got off him and sat down next to him: "I have to get this, us out of my system. I mean, there is no "us". That is the problem."
"You want there to be an "us"?", Spike wondered.
"NO", Buffy yelped, "I want the opposite. I want my life back. At least the life I had before. When everything was defined. Me Slayer, you vampire. You are a fiend from hell and I slay monsters like you. No strange feelings involved. Got it?"
"Sure Slayer.", Spike replied. It was as if she had punched him with her words. She thought of him as a "fiend from hell". Well, technically he was, but since they had just made out "fiend from hell" was not something he wanted to hear from her at that moment.
"How about a time-out?", he asked.
Buffy looked at him somewhat puzzled: "What do you mean with time-out? If you are implying that we should have sex right here, right now, and afterwards go back to killing each other, then you are out of your mind. What do you think I am? A whore?"
Although he would not have objected to a shag, it was not what he had thought of. "Actually, Slayer, I was thinking of a date.", Spike told her.
"A date? You are out of your mind! I so cannot be seen with you. And anyway, it will just be a trap knowing you.", Buffy exclaimed.
Spike felt incredibly stupid. Why in the world had he suggested a date? Why could he not shut his trap before saying something that ridiculous?
"Well, whatever Slayer. Suit yourself. You wanna go on fighting? I'm all up for it." With these words Spike tried to stand up, nearly collapsing again as the world started spinning around him. Leaning against a wall for some support he glared at Buffy who he expected to be enjoying his obvious discomfort.
But Buffy simply looked sadly at him and unexpectedly agreed: "Ok, let's go on a date. For the time of the date we will not try to kill, harm or trick each other. We will get whatever this is out of our system so we can go back to killing each other. But there is one condition. We are not meeting in Sunnydale. I don't want anybody to see me with you. Deal?"
Buffy could not believe her eyes. Spike smiled at her. It was a genuine smile and not his usual smirk. It lit up his whole face and perfected the deception that his human mask tried to achieve.
"Deal.", he replied and shook her outstretched hand.