Sara grabbed a towel and headed out into the other room to get dressed. As
she emerged, Ian heard the door and rose politely, turning towards her.
She was standing in the middle of the bedroom area with a towel wrapped,
sarong fashion, around her and another one on her head. "Sara, I." Ian
was brought up short by the sight. He had seen her in very little before
but to be confronted by her in a towel, standing so very close was beyond
both his wildest dreams and his deepest desires.
"What are you doing here?" she said, startled by his sudden appearance, he was early and she was not sure that she had her thoughts enough in order to talk to him coherently. Her eyes flashed with irritation, here he was standing in the middle of her living room with out so much as a by your leave and scaring the daylights out of her.
Ian turned his back to her and looked down, trying to get his thoughts under control. He broke out in a cold sweat and flushed, embarrassed by his reaction. He felt like a complete fool, having just walked in and made himself at home, as if she could ever accept him like that.
"I.you invited me," he said hoarsely. Sara walked farther into the room, not even noticing her state of undress.
"Damn it, Nottingham," she said, oblivious to his discomfort, letting her concern show in her voice. "I could have shot you. You really have got to knock or something, let me know you're here." Her anger faded as she noticed his lack of response, and the fact that he had turned his back on her. She looked down and realized with a sudden clarity what was bothering him. Damn, she thought, and the first thing the doc had warned her about was startling him, pushing him into situations where the line was unclear.
"Ian?" she said more softly, moving up a little closer to him.
His thoughts more or less back in order, he answered her. "I'm sorry, Sara. The door was locked and you did not answer it, so I let myself in." He indicated the fire escape window. He still did not turn around. The idea that she was concerned about his well being, that she was not angered by his presumption thrilled him and made getting his thoughts back in order an even larger chore.
"It's ok, but next time, knock on the bathroom door, send me a message, or something so I know you're here. I'm not used to having another person in my apartment."
"I could leave," he said, "Come back later, when you are expecting me." There was a desperate tone to his voice that almost made her laugh. Turning it into a simple misunderstand, just ignore his reaction, act like this was just a normal evening, that was what she needed to do. Let him off the hook, she thought.
"No. Besides, you brought dinner. Just let me change." She returned to the bedroom and gathered her clothes, leaving him sitting there. He was still amazed by how much had things had changed between them in just a few days, from stranger, to friend, to.something else. He still wasn't completely sure he dared to believe where this was leading them. Her sudden changes of mood, while refreshing in there own way were threatening to give him mental whiplash. But regardless of everything else, he was here, was welcome, even expected.most of the time.
"You can turn around now," she said, returning in shorts and a tee shirt. He looked at her, his eyes still a little cloudy. He relaxed visibly, and she almost laughed, that something as simple as a woman in a towel could faze him so badly. "Come on, let's see what you brought for dinner," she told him. "I'm starved."
As they settled on the couch after dinner, Sara suddenly remembered the little gift she had gotten for him on the way home. It had been an impulsive purchase but since it bordered on the practical she didn't think it qualified as startling. "Ian, I have something for you." He gave her a puzzled look as she got up from the couch and ran over to her jacket. "Close your eyes." He did as he was asked, still confused, but willing to trust her. Sara took his hand and closed it around something small and metallic. "Ok, you can look." He opened his eyes cautiously, not wanting to believe what he felt. It was a key, sitting there in his hand, a key that she had given him. "Now you don't have to risk getting caught breaking and entering. It would be more than a little hard to explain." He looked stunned, not trusting himself to speak.
"Ian?"
"Thank you, Sara. This means more to me than you can imagine." He gave her such a look of complete adoration that she had to turn away, embarrassed. Those shining dark eyes were so intense, so expressive, how could she think when he looked at her like that.
Ian was amazed. A key, to her apartment. Not that he really needed it, but the simple fact that she had given it to him was a more tangible symbol of her acceptance than all the words in the world. She really wanted him here, no matter what the problems involved. She was actually willing to let him continue to be a part of her life. After his earlier behavior he had felt once again the freak, the outsider. She had simply ignored it, focusing on the food, telling him a little about her day, complaining about the paperwork and her caseload. Just treating him like a friend, like a person. It had calmed his fears a little, but made him wonder at the same time if she had reconsidered.
"It's ok, just knock when you come in," she told him. "Now, do me one more favor, sit back." She had spent a certain amount of time trying to figure out how to put Dr. Slomack's advice to use, to get him used to her without startling him, and decided now was the perfect time to make a start. They needed something to bring them back together after her little faux pas earlier. Ian leaned back against the arm of the couch and she sat down in front of him, sliding back to rest against him. She reached out and took his hands, putting them around her waist. Ian stayed consciously still, just letting her move him, it was easier than he thought, to just put himself in her hands. He let them relax against her, enjoying the closeness. "Ok, let's try and discuss this case." Her sudden change of direction left him confused, wondering what she was doing. Trying to think things out logically with her sitting there like that was harder than he could have imagined, but it was reassuring as well. It reaffirmed his hope that she had not changed her mind about him. Learning to read her moods was much harder than Irons, she changed like a stormy sky, one minute dark and angry, one minute clear and calm. His father had been much more controlled, keeping so much inside that it was much like crossing a mine field without a map. He realized that she was trying to put him at ease and let him adjust to the level of contact. He tried to block out the feel of her and concentrate on the problem. It used to be so easy, but with her resting against him.He organized his thoughts, the information from the background check he ordered, and began to give her a clear report as he had to Irons so many times before. Work had always been one of the best ways to clear his mind.
"Merano is a low level political player assigned to the police commissioner's office. He deals mostly in public information, PR, things of that nature. His brother in law is a city commissioner, which is how he got this position. He is more or less for sale to the highest bidder; although I'm sure he has he has an agenda of his own. I have not been able to establish what that is however. I know he takes payoffs to either push or bury case publicity and I am sure that he has deliberately leaked unfavorable press about the police department before. He has also made some unflattering investigations go away when they involved important figures. There was a brief flare last year when that Councilman was caught driving drunk in the company of a lady who was not his wife."
"Yeah, I remember that, it made the papers on Monday and was gone Tuesday. So the guy is definitely up to something. I just wonder what it is."
"That concerns me as well. I am not sure whether he is trying to gain favor with Irons by solving this, or with others by proving a cover up or something on Vorschlag."
"Can you prove he is dirty? I mean we can't really do anything unless we have something more that suspicion." she asked.
"Sara," he said in a hurt tone, that caused her to look back at him. He was looking at her under lowered eyes, his long hair curling around his face. God, how do you resist that look, she thought. He looks like such a little boy sometimes.
"Ok, Ok, you know how to do your job. I don't even want to know how you got all this so fast. And don't tell me, please. But we can't get rid of him right now." She thought about what she had said and tried to rephrase it. She was pretty sure that he had already considered the requirements involved for that. "We can't turn him in right now. That might arouse a lot of suspicion, especially now. It could be useful later." She sighed, adding this to the piles of information that she really hadn't dealt with and wondered how to bring up the subject of Danny. Ian was a little jumpy where her partner was concerned, and rightly so, considering. It would be so easy for a problem to develop between them, they were both a little overprotective and the last thing she needed was the two of them at odds. She decided to just go ahead and explain what happened. With him close and secure it might be easier, certainly it was making her feel more comfortable. It had been a very long time sense she was this comfortable just sitting around talking to someone, holding him. In a way she was getting as comfortable with him as she was with Danny, with some major important differences. Danny was like a brother to her, and she felt anything but sisterly about Ian. "Ian, there is another thing. Danny."
"Yes?" he said questioningly.
"When I came to see you earlier, I covered it by telling him I had a contact at Vorschlag."
"Which you do," he said, patiently, wondering what she was getting at.
"Yeah, well, I told him it was someone in Security. I didn't tell him it was you. He thought you were just my." she was trying to find a good way to say it without embarrassment.
"Lover?" he said quietly. "Isn't that what we led him to believe this morning?" The soft way he said the word raised her heart rate.among other things. It was such an old fashioned way of saying it, so much more elegant than boyfriend. For a moment she wondered if he really understood what was going on, what she was feeling. She tried to refocus herself on the task at hand. The faster they got this out in the open the faster they could try and find a solution.
"Yes, but."
"And I am still in Security, if you wish to stretch the point."
"He found your photograph in the background files when we got back to the office."
"Yes?" he said with concern, sensing that there was something important here. He knew that the relationship between himself and Vorschlag posed a potential problem with her investigating the case and he had really hoped that her partner would not have the opportunity to put it together.
"You know that you are a potential suspect in this case."
"Sara, you know that I had nothing to do with."
"I gave you an alibi, told him you were with me at the time," she said, clearly upset. "I lied to my partner."
"I'm sorry that you felt it necessary to cover for me," he told her sincerely, secretly pleased at her concern for him."
"I don't like lying to my partner, but we can't explain the truth, and I sincerely doubt you have an alibi that Danny would believe."
"Actually, at the time I was here, on the roof across the street," he told her quietly, shutting away the memories, the pain he was feeling. Those hours he had spent after turning the Lance over to his father were some of the worst of his life.and the loneliest. He had fled the mansion, afraid of the outcome of his actions. Wandering alone for hours, all night and into the next day until finally, exhausted he arrived at Sara's and sat watching her, late into the night. She felt his body stiffen against hers as he recalled the past. She reached behind her and put the back of her hand against his chin, trying to remind him that he was safe.
"And now you don't have to. You no longer need to be alone in the dark and cold." She turned and smiled at him. He leaned down, putting his cheek against her hair, taking comfort from her presence. "The point is, I had to tell him some of it. I didn't mention your relationship to Irons, or any of the other things." like I killed him, she added to herself. ". but it occurs to me that some of it is going to have to come out. When it does, I want warning so I can tell him first. I promised him that I would tell him what I could, when I could, I also told him I wouldn't tell your secrets without your permission."
"Thank you for that. I know you trust your partner, but I don't know him. It will take time." Sara leaned closer to him, trying to relax and to think. He was taking all of this pretty well after a pretty strangely sheltered upbringing. She shifted restlessly in his arms, suddenly aware of something hard digging into her back.
"What is that digging into my back?" she asked, sitting up suddenly. Her movement startled Ian, and he released her, pulling back before he realized what he was doing. Sara just continued as if nothing had happened, ignoring the sudden moves and the guarded look that pasted over his face for a brief moment in her search for the source of her irritation. She looked down saw the old-fashioned watch chain hanging from his vest pocket. Following her gaze, Ian pulled the watch out to show her.
"It was my father's," he told her. "He kept it will him always, it just seemed appropriate somehow." He broke off, trying to find a way to explain that made sense his need to have a little piece of his father with him. He wondered if she would ever understand, the bond, the love and hate that he held for the man who had given him his life. How could he possibly explain that no matter what he would always be grateful for the preparation Irons had given him to fulfill his destiny, to protect Sara? That no matter what, that fact alone made it worth it. But he was pretty certain that to explain it in those terms would frighten her, drive her away. She was still getting accustomed to his "mythical mumbo-jumbo", it was probably more than she was prepared to accept, for now.
Sara just accepted his comment, understanding the feeling even as she knew this was not a discussion for tonight. They had enough on their minds without adding Irons back into the mix any more than was necessary. She realized that, aside from his gloves and jacket, he was still dressed for work. It struck her that he really didn't know all that much about getting comfortable, relaxing. Maybe it was time for him to start. She wondered again if she was pushing too fast, too hard, but having him sit around the apartment looking like a GQ cover model was enough to make her feel edgy, not to mention underdressed.
"Wouldn't you be more comfortable if you changed?" she commented quietly, looking him in the eye. "Or at least took off your tie and vest?" Ian looked down at his clothes. Impulsively Sara reached over and undid the top button of his vest without a thought. Ian sat trying not to bolt or think too much about what she was doing, asking of him. He was still working out the protocol for the situation. Nothing in his life had ever prepared him for this and he was finding it hard to know how to act. Slowly, he removed his vest and tie and put them over the arm of the couch carefully, moving as if in a trance. He even undid the top button of his white dress shirt, which suddenly seemed to be constricting his breathing.
"Much better," Sara said, leaning back against him. He reached his arms around her again, intensely aware of the feel of her through the thin fabric of the shirt. He closed his eyes and enjoyed the sensation, even as it made him want to run from her. His heart was racing, and he concentrated hard on controlling his breathing. "Comfortable?" she asked him.
"Kind of." he told her after a moment, when he had gotten his voice back under control.
"Do you want me to move?"
"Not for all the world," he said emphatically, patting her a little awkwardly. Sara smiled. He was getting the hang of this.
"What are you doing here?" she said, startled by his sudden appearance, he was early and she was not sure that she had her thoughts enough in order to talk to him coherently. Her eyes flashed with irritation, here he was standing in the middle of her living room with out so much as a by your leave and scaring the daylights out of her.
Ian turned his back to her and looked down, trying to get his thoughts under control. He broke out in a cold sweat and flushed, embarrassed by his reaction. He felt like a complete fool, having just walked in and made himself at home, as if she could ever accept him like that.
"I.you invited me," he said hoarsely. Sara walked farther into the room, not even noticing her state of undress.
"Damn it, Nottingham," she said, oblivious to his discomfort, letting her concern show in her voice. "I could have shot you. You really have got to knock or something, let me know you're here." Her anger faded as she noticed his lack of response, and the fact that he had turned his back on her. She looked down and realized with a sudden clarity what was bothering him. Damn, she thought, and the first thing the doc had warned her about was startling him, pushing him into situations where the line was unclear.
"Ian?" she said more softly, moving up a little closer to him.
His thoughts more or less back in order, he answered her. "I'm sorry, Sara. The door was locked and you did not answer it, so I let myself in." He indicated the fire escape window. He still did not turn around. The idea that she was concerned about his well being, that she was not angered by his presumption thrilled him and made getting his thoughts back in order an even larger chore.
"It's ok, but next time, knock on the bathroom door, send me a message, or something so I know you're here. I'm not used to having another person in my apartment."
"I could leave," he said, "Come back later, when you are expecting me." There was a desperate tone to his voice that almost made her laugh. Turning it into a simple misunderstand, just ignore his reaction, act like this was just a normal evening, that was what she needed to do. Let him off the hook, she thought.
"No. Besides, you brought dinner. Just let me change." She returned to the bedroom and gathered her clothes, leaving him sitting there. He was still amazed by how much had things had changed between them in just a few days, from stranger, to friend, to.something else. He still wasn't completely sure he dared to believe where this was leading them. Her sudden changes of mood, while refreshing in there own way were threatening to give him mental whiplash. But regardless of everything else, he was here, was welcome, even expected.most of the time.
"You can turn around now," she said, returning in shorts and a tee shirt. He looked at her, his eyes still a little cloudy. He relaxed visibly, and she almost laughed, that something as simple as a woman in a towel could faze him so badly. "Come on, let's see what you brought for dinner," she told him. "I'm starved."
As they settled on the couch after dinner, Sara suddenly remembered the little gift she had gotten for him on the way home. It had been an impulsive purchase but since it bordered on the practical she didn't think it qualified as startling. "Ian, I have something for you." He gave her a puzzled look as she got up from the couch and ran over to her jacket. "Close your eyes." He did as he was asked, still confused, but willing to trust her. Sara took his hand and closed it around something small and metallic. "Ok, you can look." He opened his eyes cautiously, not wanting to believe what he felt. It was a key, sitting there in his hand, a key that she had given him. "Now you don't have to risk getting caught breaking and entering. It would be more than a little hard to explain." He looked stunned, not trusting himself to speak.
"Ian?"
"Thank you, Sara. This means more to me than you can imagine." He gave her such a look of complete adoration that she had to turn away, embarrassed. Those shining dark eyes were so intense, so expressive, how could she think when he looked at her like that.
Ian was amazed. A key, to her apartment. Not that he really needed it, but the simple fact that she had given it to him was a more tangible symbol of her acceptance than all the words in the world. She really wanted him here, no matter what the problems involved. She was actually willing to let him continue to be a part of her life. After his earlier behavior he had felt once again the freak, the outsider. She had simply ignored it, focusing on the food, telling him a little about her day, complaining about the paperwork and her caseload. Just treating him like a friend, like a person. It had calmed his fears a little, but made him wonder at the same time if she had reconsidered.
"It's ok, just knock when you come in," she told him. "Now, do me one more favor, sit back." She had spent a certain amount of time trying to figure out how to put Dr. Slomack's advice to use, to get him used to her without startling him, and decided now was the perfect time to make a start. They needed something to bring them back together after her little faux pas earlier. Ian leaned back against the arm of the couch and she sat down in front of him, sliding back to rest against him. She reached out and took his hands, putting them around her waist. Ian stayed consciously still, just letting her move him, it was easier than he thought, to just put himself in her hands. He let them relax against her, enjoying the closeness. "Ok, let's try and discuss this case." Her sudden change of direction left him confused, wondering what she was doing. Trying to think things out logically with her sitting there like that was harder than he could have imagined, but it was reassuring as well. It reaffirmed his hope that she had not changed her mind about him. Learning to read her moods was much harder than Irons, she changed like a stormy sky, one minute dark and angry, one minute clear and calm. His father had been much more controlled, keeping so much inside that it was much like crossing a mine field without a map. He realized that she was trying to put him at ease and let him adjust to the level of contact. He tried to block out the feel of her and concentrate on the problem. It used to be so easy, but with her resting against him.He organized his thoughts, the information from the background check he ordered, and began to give her a clear report as he had to Irons so many times before. Work had always been one of the best ways to clear his mind.
"Merano is a low level political player assigned to the police commissioner's office. He deals mostly in public information, PR, things of that nature. His brother in law is a city commissioner, which is how he got this position. He is more or less for sale to the highest bidder; although I'm sure he has he has an agenda of his own. I have not been able to establish what that is however. I know he takes payoffs to either push or bury case publicity and I am sure that he has deliberately leaked unfavorable press about the police department before. He has also made some unflattering investigations go away when they involved important figures. There was a brief flare last year when that Councilman was caught driving drunk in the company of a lady who was not his wife."
"Yeah, I remember that, it made the papers on Monday and was gone Tuesday. So the guy is definitely up to something. I just wonder what it is."
"That concerns me as well. I am not sure whether he is trying to gain favor with Irons by solving this, or with others by proving a cover up or something on Vorschlag."
"Can you prove he is dirty? I mean we can't really do anything unless we have something more that suspicion." she asked.
"Sara," he said in a hurt tone, that caused her to look back at him. He was looking at her under lowered eyes, his long hair curling around his face. God, how do you resist that look, she thought. He looks like such a little boy sometimes.
"Ok, Ok, you know how to do your job. I don't even want to know how you got all this so fast. And don't tell me, please. But we can't get rid of him right now." She thought about what she had said and tried to rephrase it. She was pretty sure that he had already considered the requirements involved for that. "We can't turn him in right now. That might arouse a lot of suspicion, especially now. It could be useful later." She sighed, adding this to the piles of information that she really hadn't dealt with and wondered how to bring up the subject of Danny. Ian was a little jumpy where her partner was concerned, and rightly so, considering. It would be so easy for a problem to develop between them, they were both a little overprotective and the last thing she needed was the two of them at odds. She decided to just go ahead and explain what happened. With him close and secure it might be easier, certainly it was making her feel more comfortable. It had been a very long time sense she was this comfortable just sitting around talking to someone, holding him. In a way she was getting as comfortable with him as she was with Danny, with some major important differences. Danny was like a brother to her, and she felt anything but sisterly about Ian. "Ian, there is another thing. Danny."
"Yes?" he said questioningly.
"When I came to see you earlier, I covered it by telling him I had a contact at Vorschlag."
"Which you do," he said, patiently, wondering what she was getting at.
"Yeah, well, I told him it was someone in Security. I didn't tell him it was you. He thought you were just my." she was trying to find a good way to say it without embarrassment.
"Lover?" he said quietly. "Isn't that what we led him to believe this morning?" The soft way he said the word raised her heart rate.among other things. It was such an old fashioned way of saying it, so much more elegant than boyfriend. For a moment she wondered if he really understood what was going on, what she was feeling. She tried to refocus herself on the task at hand. The faster they got this out in the open the faster they could try and find a solution.
"Yes, but."
"And I am still in Security, if you wish to stretch the point."
"He found your photograph in the background files when we got back to the office."
"Yes?" he said with concern, sensing that there was something important here. He knew that the relationship between himself and Vorschlag posed a potential problem with her investigating the case and he had really hoped that her partner would not have the opportunity to put it together.
"You know that you are a potential suspect in this case."
"Sara, you know that I had nothing to do with."
"I gave you an alibi, told him you were with me at the time," she said, clearly upset. "I lied to my partner."
"I'm sorry that you felt it necessary to cover for me," he told her sincerely, secretly pleased at her concern for him."
"I don't like lying to my partner, but we can't explain the truth, and I sincerely doubt you have an alibi that Danny would believe."
"Actually, at the time I was here, on the roof across the street," he told her quietly, shutting away the memories, the pain he was feeling. Those hours he had spent after turning the Lance over to his father were some of the worst of his life.and the loneliest. He had fled the mansion, afraid of the outcome of his actions. Wandering alone for hours, all night and into the next day until finally, exhausted he arrived at Sara's and sat watching her, late into the night. She felt his body stiffen against hers as he recalled the past. She reached behind her and put the back of her hand against his chin, trying to remind him that he was safe.
"And now you don't have to. You no longer need to be alone in the dark and cold." She turned and smiled at him. He leaned down, putting his cheek against her hair, taking comfort from her presence. "The point is, I had to tell him some of it. I didn't mention your relationship to Irons, or any of the other things." like I killed him, she added to herself. ". but it occurs to me that some of it is going to have to come out. When it does, I want warning so I can tell him first. I promised him that I would tell him what I could, when I could, I also told him I wouldn't tell your secrets without your permission."
"Thank you for that. I know you trust your partner, but I don't know him. It will take time." Sara leaned closer to him, trying to relax and to think. He was taking all of this pretty well after a pretty strangely sheltered upbringing. She shifted restlessly in his arms, suddenly aware of something hard digging into her back.
"What is that digging into my back?" she asked, sitting up suddenly. Her movement startled Ian, and he released her, pulling back before he realized what he was doing. Sara just continued as if nothing had happened, ignoring the sudden moves and the guarded look that pasted over his face for a brief moment in her search for the source of her irritation. She looked down saw the old-fashioned watch chain hanging from his vest pocket. Following her gaze, Ian pulled the watch out to show her.
"It was my father's," he told her. "He kept it will him always, it just seemed appropriate somehow." He broke off, trying to find a way to explain that made sense his need to have a little piece of his father with him. He wondered if she would ever understand, the bond, the love and hate that he held for the man who had given him his life. How could he possibly explain that no matter what he would always be grateful for the preparation Irons had given him to fulfill his destiny, to protect Sara? That no matter what, that fact alone made it worth it. But he was pretty certain that to explain it in those terms would frighten her, drive her away. She was still getting accustomed to his "mythical mumbo-jumbo", it was probably more than she was prepared to accept, for now.
Sara just accepted his comment, understanding the feeling even as she knew this was not a discussion for tonight. They had enough on their minds without adding Irons back into the mix any more than was necessary. She realized that, aside from his gloves and jacket, he was still dressed for work. It struck her that he really didn't know all that much about getting comfortable, relaxing. Maybe it was time for him to start. She wondered again if she was pushing too fast, too hard, but having him sit around the apartment looking like a GQ cover model was enough to make her feel edgy, not to mention underdressed.
"Wouldn't you be more comfortable if you changed?" she commented quietly, looking him in the eye. "Or at least took off your tie and vest?" Ian looked down at his clothes. Impulsively Sara reached over and undid the top button of his vest without a thought. Ian sat trying not to bolt or think too much about what she was doing, asking of him. He was still working out the protocol for the situation. Nothing in his life had ever prepared him for this and he was finding it hard to know how to act. Slowly, he removed his vest and tie and put them over the arm of the couch carefully, moving as if in a trance. He even undid the top button of his white dress shirt, which suddenly seemed to be constricting his breathing.
"Much better," Sara said, leaning back against him. He reached his arms around her again, intensely aware of the feel of her through the thin fabric of the shirt. He closed his eyes and enjoyed the sensation, even as it made him want to run from her. His heart was racing, and he concentrated hard on controlling his breathing. "Comfortable?" she asked him.
"Kind of." he told her after a moment, when he had gotten his voice back under control.
"Do you want me to move?"
"Not for all the world," he said emphatically, patting her a little awkwardly. Sara smiled. He was getting the hang of this.