I'm sorry about this update taking almost a month. I can say however, that it was NOT entirely my fault! I just got back after being away for a week and a half, and before that I couldn't post because my stupid computer wouldn't get online. Then I tried posting from a different computer and the formatting was completely screwed, and I couldn't figure out how to make it work. So there. It's a long story made short. Anyways, I apologize for the wait and I already have the chapter after this one ready, so it shouldn't take very long for the next update. Surprisingly, I have no witty or demented commentary at the moment, so let's get on with the lunacy, shall we?
Disclaimer: For the bizillionth time, I don't own Zoids. I do, however, take pride in owning the crowd of idiots know as the ignorant masses. Sadly, these imbeciles are all I have.
Chillin' On the Dark Side
Chapter 8: Let the Good Times Roll
Meanwhile, in the midst of World War Blue, Raven was also preparing his troops for an assault against Thomas. "ATEN-SHUN!" Raven yelled. The masses turned to face him and clicked their black sniping rifles in synchronism. (You know, like they do in the army! Come on people, you know what I mean! Work with me here!) Raven looked over his fans to make sure that they were ready.
Raven rubbed his hands together and smirked. "Yes, yes. Everything goes according to plan, see?" The masses nodded and started talking amongst themselves. "HEY!" Raven snapped. "NO TALKING! NO MOVING! NO BLINKING! NO BREATHING!" The masses immediately shut up and stood deathly still.
"That's better." Raven smirked triumphantly. It was time. "HEY, THOMAS! OVER HERE 'GIRLFRIEND'!"
Thomas was sitting surrounded by the rest of his fans applying his second coat of lipstick. "Yeah? What's chillin' girl?" Thomas replied as he turned to face Raven. As he was turning his head, however, he forgot he was still holding his lipstick and it smeared across his cheek.
OoO "HUH!" his fans gasped in horror and started screaming.
"ACK! MIRROR!" Thomas shrieked. He continued screeching until one of his fans ran up to him and handed him a glittery purple pocket mirror. Thomas struggled to calm himself down.
"Like, breathe in, like breathe out. Like, breathe in, like breathe out." Thomas chanted as he assessed the damage. "Chill out, chicks. I think it's going to be okay."
"Ohmigosh, Thomas are you sure? That was like, a highly traumatizing experience!" one of his fans gasped with a worried expression.
Thomas sighed as he studied himself in the mirror. "I like, totally agree with you, home slice. This could take some work, but I think we can like, get through it with a little team spirit!"
"Wow Thomas, you are like SOOOOOOOOO brave!" his fan shrieked.
"Trust me girl, it's like, totally not as easy as I make it look!" Thomas assured.
Raven was getting impatient as he stood watching the scene. "All right troops, when I give the signal, we strike! Five......four......."
"Okay.....there! Like, yea! I did it!" Thomas screamed happily as he finished washing off his face. "Now, who wants some, like, makeover tips and some junk?"
"We do!!!!!!" his fans screeched in incredibly high-pitched voices.
"Three......two......o-" Raven was just about to finish when he was interrupted by a loud beeping noise. "WHAT THE HECK IS THAT LOUD BEEPING NOISE?!" he yelled irritably.
"HEY GUYS! DRAGONBALL Z IS ON!" one of the fans shouted as he looked at his watch. "COME ON, LET'S BLOW THIS POPSTAND!"
"YEEEEAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!" all the fans in the Dark Kaiser's lair screamed as they left their idols and ran through the wall once again, creating a new hole.
"WAIT A SECOND!" Raven yelled loudly. Surprisingly enough, everyone stopped and looked at him. "JUST WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON HERE?!?!"
"Well, DragonBall Z is on now, man. We're gonna go watch." one of the fans explained.
"OH, SO YOU THINK YOU CAN JUST BARGE IN AND THEN LEAVE WHENEVER YOU PLEASE?!" Raven screamed in annoyance.
"Do you mind? We're gonna be late." the ignorant fan responded as he headed for the exit.
"LATE?! FOR WHAT?!" Raven shouted.
"For our fan club meetings, of course! What, you think we're gonna spend all our time on Zoids? We're ignorant masses! We go wherever we wish!" the fan replied. Raven noticed that all of his fans had removed their club T-shirts and were now dressed in Vegeta-like Saiyan armor.
"YOU CALL YOURSELVES TRUE FANS?! WHERE'S YOUR DEDICATION?! YOU'RE ALL OUTTA MY FAN CLUB, YOU LOUSY NO-GOOD POSERS!" Raven screamed as they all ran for the hole. As they were running, one of the guys tripped and fell on his face right in front of Reese, who started laughing. He got to his feet and was about to say something when he noticed the sticker on her shirt that read: "Hi, I'm Reese, very nice to blue you all!"
O_O The guy's eyes widened in shock. "Are you the girl?" he asked in awe.
Reese looked extremely confused. "What girl?"
"OH MY KAMI, IT IS YOU! HEY GUYS, IT'S HER! IT'S THE REESES GIRL!" the guy screamed frantically.
"Uh, please....don't......do that...." Reese tried to say but it was too late. A ton of people(mostly guys) had come running over to her.
"LOOK GUYS, IT'S REALLY HER! THE ACTUAL GIRL WHO HAD THE REESES CANDY NAMED AFTER HER!" the guy shouted and everyone cheered as they pushed and shoved to get a better view of Reese.
"Actually the "e" is....silent....." Reese tried to make herself heard above the chaos.
"So, what is it like to actually be "the Reeses girl"?" a fan yelled, shoving a toy microphone in Reese's face.
"I'M *NOT* THE REESES GIRL, YOU CRACKHEADS!" Reese screamed in frustration.
"And modest, too!" the fan smiled.
"Hey, uh, "Reeses girl"! How 'bout this Friday night?" one of the guys called out.
"Back off man, I saw her first!" the guy who had started the whole thing shouted angrily. "She's mine!"
"Come on dude, you only want her for the money! She should go out with me!" another guy yelled.
"Of *course* I only want her money! What else is she good for?!" the second guy responded.
Reese was listening back and forth to the conversation and it was only making her more infuriated. "ERRRRRRR, I'M NOT THE REESES GIRL! THE "E" IS SILENT! GET THE HECK AWAY FROM ME!" she shrieked but nobody paid any attention to her. The guys kept fighting over her and the one fan kept trying to get her to talk into the microphone while everyone else snapped pictures.
"So "Reeses girl" are you aware that your fame has spread around the world? Exactly how rich are you?" the fan with the mike shouted.
"I'M NOT THE REESES GIRL FOR THE THIRD TIME AND-" Reese screamed but then lowered her voice down to a whisper. "I'm not rich." she muttered under her breath. Suddenly everything stopped and became deathly quiet.
"WHAT?!?! NOT RICH?!?! I'M SO OUTTA HERE!" screamed the guy who had started it all.
"YEAH, ME TOO! THE REESES GIRL WITH NO MONEY?! WHAT A CHEAP SCAM!" the other guy shouted.
"Man, can you believe that? Leading us on like she was actually somebody important and wealthy! What a jerk!" a third guy commented, shaking his head as they all left the Dark Kaiser's lair.
"Good thing *I* didn't fall for it!" replied the guy with the toy microphone. "I knew the whole time that she wasn't rich!"
"SHALLOW MORONS! GOOD RIDDANCE, YA SIMPLETONS!" Reese screamed angrily as the last of the fans finally left.
"Like, later chicks! We'll have to get together and swap beauty tips sometime!" Thomas shrieked as he waved wildly at his few departing fans.
"LOOK! THEY'RE TAKING IRVINE AND MOONBAY WITH THEM!" Fiona screamed suddenly, pointing at the fans.
"Hey, why are we taking these freaks with us again?" one of the people called out.
Another person rolled her eyes. "Ever hear of a ritual killing? They're a sacrifice!"
"Ohhhhhhhhhh." the first person nodded. "For who?"
"Uh.....gee, I dunno. Just for the heck of it, I guess!" the girl answered.
"Oh......COOL!" the fan screamed. Irvine and Moonbay turned to look at their friends in fear and suddenly they exploded.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" Fiona screamed in agony as she looked at the pile of smoldering ash that was once her friends.
"HEY, NEATO! THEY ALL WENT KABOOM!" Hiltz yelled.
"Like, EWWWWWW! That was so totally nasty!" Thomas shrieked in disgust. Then he saw that Fiona was crying and he walked over to her. "Like, don't sweat the small stuff, girlfriend! Sure, your friends just blowed up and died and stuff but look at it this way: they had *awful* fashion sense!"
"Th-that's not it." Fiona sobbed. "I-it's....it's just that.....IRVINE OWED ME MONEY! NOW HOW AM I 'OPPOSED TO GET A PRETTY PRETTY PONY?!"
Dark Kaiser's smile at watching Irvine and Moonbay explode instantly disappeared. "WHAT?!" he shouted angrily. "Darn it woman, you promised me that pony!"
Raven laughed. "Imbeciles! I laugh at your pain! HA HA HA!" Then he paused. "See? Observe me laughing at you, which is to say that I am mocking you because I am laughing *at* you. I am not in any sense laughing *with* you because you are not finding this humorous and so you are not laughing, which is to say that you do not find this funny. But I just so happen to find this quite amusing, so I am laughing *at* you and ridiculing your sorrow! Watch me, watch me laugh at you!" Then he started laughing insanely again.
Reese had curled up into a little ball and was rocking back and forth in a corner wildly. "That...was a highly traumatizing experience." she whimpered, scarred for life from her Reeses girl episode.
Raven smirked and held a Reeses cup in front of her face. "Look *Reese*, it's a *Reeses*!" he taunted, waving it back and forth.
"Stop it!" Reese shouted, burying her face in her arms.
"Keep going, keep going! I wanna see how fast we can make her rock!" the Dark Kaiser encouraged.
Raven smiled as he bit into the Reeses cup. "Mmmmmmm, tasty! There's no wrong way to eat a Reeses!"
"Yeah, see, I *wanted* to star in that commercial but NOOOOOOOOOO! They stuck me with this idiot instead!" Shadow told Zeke, Specula and Ambient as he pointed to Raven.
Raven stuck his face in Reese's and chewed loudly. "Mmmmm....yum yum yum yum yum!"
"NO! TAKE IT AWAY!" Reese screamed desperately. She grabbed fistfuls of her hair and rocked twice as fast.
"Yeah, go Reese, go! Faster!" Dark Kaiser yelled excitedly.
"Hey wow, that looks really really fun! I wanna try, me me me!" Hiltz screamed. He got down on the floor, curled up, and started rocking too. "Look at me guys! I can do it too! Boy howdy, this is so fun that I think....I think I wanna....I wanna.... I WANNA ROCK AND ROLL ALL NIGHT!"
"AND PARTY EVERY DAY!" the organoids chimed in.
"Like, Reese! I didn't think it was like, possible but you just like, started a totally kickin' fad here! Way to go, chicky baby!" Thomas shrieked as he joined Reese and Hiltz and started rocking.
Fiona stood looking at everyone with her head tipped to the side and her usual look of confusion. "I don't get it. Isn't rocking back and forth a sign of insanity? Last time I started doing it Van told me to stop before the GF put me in a straight-jacket and gave me a one-way ticket to the funny farm, just like they did to him!"
"Ah, the funny farm! What wonderful childhood memories those words bring back!" Hiltz sighed in content. "I always told them I'd come back one day....."
"Oh, I *totally* get what you mean, girlfriend! I spent a good five years of my life there, at the funny farm. It's like, where I discovered my feminine side!" Thomas said in a peppy voice.
"I wanna thank you, Reese. You brought my innermost childhood memories to the surface and frankly, I'm, well....I must say I'm touched!" Hiltz sniffed. "You know what I mean, Reese?"
Reese looked up at him in annoyance. "No, actually, I don't give a crap, Hiltz. Now, if you don't mind, I'm gonna get back to my mental breakdown."
"Hmph. You've got a lota nerve, coming between a man and his memories!" Hiltz scoffed as he continued rocking and began singing 'Rock Around the Clock'.
"Golly gosh, Reese, you're such a jerk when you're in one of your psychotic moods." the Dark Kaiser commented as he flipped through Thomas' issue of Seventeen. "Hey, boy are *these* shoes ever stylin'!"
"Hey, you like, totally *stole* that from me! I can't be-LIEVE you! You're so totally insensitive and some junk! Did you even, like, consider my feelings?! What if you had like, wrinkled the corners or breathed on it funny? Like, what then you big, like, jerk?! You're like, so hurtful!" Thomas shrieked as he snatched the magazine out of Dark Kaiser's hands.
"All I wanted was a new pair of shoes! I was just trying to figure out which pair went better with my eyes!" Dark Kaiser shouted.
"Yeah Thomas, the poor guy was just looking for some fashion tips. You're such a jerk, denying him of his one chance at pure happiness. How could you be so heartless as to torture someone like that?" Raven added sarcastically as pulled the string on a stuffed Reeses cup figure, making it dance back and forth and sing in front of Reese.
"EEEEAAAT ME!" the Reeses toy yelled in a happy voice.
"GET THAT ACCURSED TOY AWAY FROM ME!" Reese screamed, her eyes widening in fear.
"Well, dawg, if you wanted to do makeovers *so badly* all you had to do was like, ask!" Thomas defended himself, holding the magazine to his chest protectively.
"But you would have said no! I had to do something! I was desperate!" the Dark Kaiser cried.
"Of *course* I would have said no, girl! Chicks are very possessive, you know!" Thomas rolled his eyes as if everyone should know that.
"Please stop fighting. I don't like confrontation. It scares the dickens outta me!" Fiona cried.
"Dickens......chickens.......dickens......." Hiltz mused to himself. Suddenly a lightbulb appeared above his head and he looked up. "Ooooooo, pretty! Look at it shine!" Hiltz drooled. Then he remembered the great discovery he just *had* to share with everyone before he forgot.....again. "Hey, WOW! Guess what I just figured out, guys?! Do ya wanna know, do ya do ya do ya?!?!" he shouted and everyone turned to look at him. He paused for a minute to build up the drama until he couldn't hold his exciting news anymore. "DICKENS.....RHYMES WITH CHICKENS!!!!!!!" Hiltz screamed. "ISN'T THAT JUST, THE GREATEST THING *EVER*?!?!?!"
Everyone fell anime-style. "Congratulations Hiltz! How long did it take you to figure *that* one out?" Raven snapped.
"Hmmm....hey, it was only about 20 minutes this time! Hurray for Hiltz!" Hiltz screamed.
"Good for you Hiltz, you're officially an imbecile!" Raven told him.
OoO "I AM?! ARE YOU SERIOUS?! BOY HOWDY, THIS IS SUCH AN HONOR!" Hiltz cried proudly. "I'LL DO MY BEST TO UPHOLD THIS POSITION AND NOT FAIL YOU!"
"Oh, I *know* you won't fail us, Hiltz. You're just too good at this!" Raven replied.
"YAY, THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY ENTIRE GOD-FORSAKEN LIFE! VICTORY DANCE!!" Hiltz shrieked and he started dancing insanely around Dark Kaiser's lair.
Yay, my longest chapter so far! There goes the dimwitted fans. Now I own nothing in this story. -_- I got rid of Irvine and Moonbay because it didn't seem like they had a point in the story. For those of you who like them, I'll probably end up bringing them back later. Just because they exploded doesn't mean they're gone forever, not in this fic! And for those who actually care, Van didn't say a word this entire chapter because he's still unconscious, hanging from the ceiling. I might decide to bring him back sometime if I need someone to torture. ^_^ Well, that's enough of my rambling. A million thanks and a bizillion cookies to everyone for being so patient with me and my insanity! ^_________^
Disclaimer: For the bizillionth time, I don't own Zoids. I do, however, take pride in owning the crowd of idiots know as the ignorant masses. Sadly, these imbeciles are all I have.
Chillin' On the Dark Side
Chapter 8: Let the Good Times Roll
Meanwhile, in the midst of World War Blue, Raven was also preparing his troops for an assault against Thomas. "ATEN-SHUN!" Raven yelled. The masses turned to face him and clicked their black sniping rifles in synchronism. (You know, like they do in the army! Come on people, you know what I mean! Work with me here!) Raven looked over his fans to make sure that they were ready.
Raven rubbed his hands together and smirked. "Yes, yes. Everything goes according to plan, see?" The masses nodded and started talking amongst themselves. "HEY!" Raven snapped. "NO TALKING! NO MOVING! NO BLINKING! NO BREATHING!" The masses immediately shut up and stood deathly still.
"That's better." Raven smirked triumphantly. It was time. "HEY, THOMAS! OVER HERE 'GIRLFRIEND'!"
Thomas was sitting surrounded by the rest of his fans applying his second coat of lipstick. "Yeah? What's chillin' girl?" Thomas replied as he turned to face Raven. As he was turning his head, however, he forgot he was still holding his lipstick and it smeared across his cheek.
OoO "HUH!" his fans gasped in horror and started screaming.
"ACK! MIRROR!" Thomas shrieked. He continued screeching until one of his fans ran up to him and handed him a glittery purple pocket mirror. Thomas struggled to calm himself down.
"Like, breathe in, like breathe out. Like, breathe in, like breathe out." Thomas chanted as he assessed the damage. "Chill out, chicks. I think it's going to be okay."
"Ohmigosh, Thomas are you sure? That was like, a highly traumatizing experience!" one of his fans gasped with a worried expression.
Thomas sighed as he studied himself in the mirror. "I like, totally agree with you, home slice. This could take some work, but I think we can like, get through it with a little team spirit!"
"Wow Thomas, you are like SOOOOOOOOO brave!" his fan shrieked.
"Trust me girl, it's like, totally not as easy as I make it look!" Thomas assured.
Raven was getting impatient as he stood watching the scene. "All right troops, when I give the signal, we strike! Five......four......."
"Okay.....there! Like, yea! I did it!" Thomas screamed happily as he finished washing off his face. "Now, who wants some, like, makeover tips and some junk?"
"We do!!!!!!" his fans screeched in incredibly high-pitched voices.
"Three......two......o-" Raven was just about to finish when he was interrupted by a loud beeping noise. "WHAT THE HECK IS THAT LOUD BEEPING NOISE?!" he yelled irritably.
"HEY GUYS! DRAGONBALL Z IS ON!" one of the fans shouted as he looked at his watch. "COME ON, LET'S BLOW THIS POPSTAND!"
"YEEEEAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!" all the fans in the Dark Kaiser's lair screamed as they left their idols and ran through the wall once again, creating a new hole.
"WAIT A SECOND!" Raven yelled loudly. Surprisingly enough, everyone stopped and looked at him. "JUST WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON HERE?!?!"
"Well, DragonBall Z is on now, man. We're gonna go watch." one of the fans explained.
"OH, SO YOU THINK YOU CAN JUST BARGE IN AND THEN LEAVE WHENEVER YOU PLEASE?!" Raven screamed in annoyance.
"Do you mind? We're gonna be late." the ignorant fan responded as he headed for the exit.
"LATE?! FOR WHAT?!" Raven shouted.
"For our fan club meetings, of course! What, you think we're gonna spend all our time on Zoids? We're ignorant masses! We go wherever we wish!" the fan replied. Raven noticed that all of his fans had removed their club T-shirts and were now dressed in Vegeta-like Saiyan armor.
"YOU CALL YOURSELVES TRUE FANS?! WHERE'S YOUR DEDICATION?! YOU'RE ALL OUTTA MY FAN CLUB, YOU LOUSY NO-GOOD POSERS!" Raven screamed as they all ran for the hole. As they were running, one of the guys tripped and fell on his face right in front of Reese, who started laughing. He got to his feet and was about to say something when he noticed the sticker on her shirt that read: "Hi, I'm Reese, very nice to blue you all!"
O_O The guy's eyes widened in shock. "Are you the girl?" he asked in awe.
Reese looked extremely confused. "What girl?"
"OH MY KAMI, IT IS YOU! HEY GUYS, IT'S HER! IT'S THE REESES GIRL!" the guy screamed frantically.
"Uh, please....don't......do that...." Reese tried to say but it was too late. A ton of people(mostly guys) had come running over to her.
"LOOK GUYS, IT'S REALLY HER! THE ACTUAL GIRL WHO HAD THE REESES CANDY NAMED AFTER HER!" the guy shouted and everyone cheered as they pushed and shoved to get a better view of Reese.
"Actually the "e" is....silent....." Reese tried to make herself heard above the chaos.
"So, what is it like to actually be "the Reeses girl"?" a fan yelled, shoving a toy microphone in Reese's face.
"I'M *NOT* THE REESES GIRL, YOU CRACKHEADS!" Reese screamed in frustration.
"And modest, too!" the fan smiled.
"Hey, uh, "Reeses girl"! How 'bout this Friday night?" one of the guys called out.
"Back off man, I saw her first!" the guy who had started the whole thing shouted angrily. "She's mine!"
"Come on dude, you only want her for the money! She should go out with me!" another guy yelled.
"Of *course* I only want her money! What else is she good for?!" the second guy responded.
Reese was listening back and forth to the conversation and it was only making her more infuriated. "ERRRRRRR, I'M NOT THE REESES GIRL! THE "E" IS SILENT! GET THE HECK AWAY FROM ME!" she shrieked but nobody paid any attention to her. The guys kept fighting over her and the one fan kept trying to get her to talk into the microphone while everyone else snapped pictures.
"So "Reeses girl" are you aware that your fame has spread around the world? Exactly how rich are you?" the fan with the mike shouted.
"I'M NOT THE REESES GIRL FOR THE THIRD TIME AND-" Reese screamed but then lowered her voice down to a whisper. "I'm not rich." she muttered under her breath. Suddenly everything stopped and became deathly quiet.
"WHAT?!?! NOT RICH?!?! I'M SO OUTTA HERE!" screamed the guy who had started it all.
"YEAH, ME TOO! THE REESES GIRL WITH NO MONEY?! WHAT A CHEAP SCAM!" the other guy shouted.
"Man, can you believe that? Leading us on like she was actually somebody important and wealthy! What a jerk!" a third guy commented, shaking his head as they all left the Dark Kaiser's lair.
"Good thing *I* didn't fall for it!" replied the guy with the toy microphone. "I knew the whole time that she wasn't rich!"
"SHALLOW MORONS! GOOD RIDDANCE, YA SIMPLETONS!" Reese screamed angrily as the last of the fans finally left.
"Like, later chicks! We'll have to get together and swap beauty tips sometime!" Thomas shrieked as he waved wildly at his few departing fans.
"LOOK! THEY'RE TAKING IRVINE AND MOONBAY WITH THEM!" Fiona screamed suddenly, pointing at the fans.
"Hey, why are we taking these freaks with us again?" one of the people called out.
Another person rolled her eyes. "Ever hear of a ritual killing? They're a sacrifice!"
"Ohhhhhhhhhh." the first person nodded. "For who?"
"Uh.....gee, I dunno. Just for the heck of it, I guess!" the girl answered.
"Oh......COOL!" the fan screamed. Irvine and Moonbay turned to look at their friends in fear and suddenly they exploded.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" Fiona screamed in agony as she looked at the pile of smoldering ash that was once her friends.
"HEY, NEATO! THEY ALL WENT KABOOM!" Hiltz yelled.
"Like, EWWWWWW! That was so totally nasty!" Thomas shrieked in disgust. Then he saw that Fiona was crying and he walked over to her. "Like, don't sweat the small stuff, girlfriend! Sure, your friends just blowed up and died and stuff but look at it this way: they had *awful* fashion sense!"
"Th-that's not it." Fiona sobbed. "I-it's....it's just that.....IRVINE OWED ME MONEY! NOW HOW AM I 'OPPOSED TO GET A PRETTY PRETTY PONY?!"
Dark Kaiser's smile at watching Irvine and Moonbay explode instantly disappeared. "WHAT?!" he shouted angrily. "Darn it woman, you promised me that pony!"
Raven laughed. "Imbeciles! I laugh at your pain! HA HA HA!" Then he paused. "See? Observe me laughing at you, which is to say that I am mocking you because I am laughing *at* you. I am not in any sense laughing *with* you because you are not finding this humorous and so you are not laughing, which is to say that you do not find this funny. But I just so happen to find this quite amusing, so I am laughing *at* you and ridiculing your sorrow! Watch me, watch me laugh at you!" Then he started laughing insanely again.
Reese had curled up into a little ball and was rocking back and forth in a corner wildly. "That...was a highly traumatizing experience." she whimpered, scarred for life from her Reeses girl episode.
Raven smirked and held a Reeses cup in front of her face. "Look *Reese*, it's a *Reeses*!" he taunted, waving it back and forth.
"Stop it!" Reese shouted, burying her face in her arms.
"Keep going, keep going! I wanna see how fast we can make her rock!" the Dark Kaiser encouraged.
Raven smiled as he bit into the Reeses cup. "Mmmmmmm, tasty! There's no wrong way to eat a Reeses!"
"Yeah, see, I *wanted* to star in that commercial but NOOOOOOOOOO! They stuck me with this idiot instead!" Shadow told Zeke, Specula and Ambient as he pointed to Raven.
Raven stuck his face in Reese's and chewed loudly. "Mmmmm....yum yum yum yum yum!"
"NO! TAKE IT AWAY!" Reese screamed desperately. She grabbed fistfuls of her hair and rocked twice as fast.
"Yeah, go Reese, go! Faster!" Dark Kaiser yelled excitedly.
"Hey wow, that looks really really fun! I wanna try, me me me!" Hiltz screamed. He got down on the floor, curled up, and started rocking too. "Look at me guys! I can do it too! Boy howdy, this is so fun that I think....I think I wanna....I wanna.... I WANNA ROCK AND ROLL ALL NIGHT!"
"AND PARTY EVERY DAY!" the organoids chimed in.
"Like, Reese! I didn't think it was like, possible but you just like, started a totally kickin' fad here! Way to go, chicky baby!" Thomas shrieked as he joined Reese and Hiltz and started rocking.
Fiona stood looking at everyone with her head tipped to the side and her usual look of confusion. "I don't get it. Isn't rocking back and forth a sign of insanity? Last time I started doing it Van told me to stop before the GF put me in a straight-jacket and gave me a one-way ticket to the funny farm, just like they did to him!"
"Ah, the funny farm! What wonderful childhood memories those words bring back!" Hiltz sighed in content. "I always told them I'd come back one day....."
"Oh, I *totally* get what you mean, girlfriend! I spent a good five years of my life there, at the funny farm. It's like, where I discovered my feminine side!" Thomas said in a peppy voice.
"I wanna thank you, Reese. You brought my innermost childhood memories to the surface and frankly, I'm, well....I must say I'm touched!" Hiltz sniffed. "You know what I mean, Reese?"
Reese looked up at him in annoyance. "No, actually, I don't give a crap, Hiltz. Now, if you don't mind, I'm gonna get back to my mental breakdown."
"Hmph. You've got a lota nerve, coming between a man and his memories!" Hiltz scoffed as he continued rocking and began singing 'Rock Around the Clock'.
"Golly gosh, Reese, you're such a jerk when you're in one of your psychotic moods." the Dark Kaiser commented as he flipped through Thomas' issue of Seventeen. "Hey, boy are *these* shoes ever stylin'!"
"Hey, you like, totally *stole* that from me! I can't be-LIEVE you! You're so totally insensitive and some junk! Did you even, like, consider my feelings?! What if you had like, wrinkled the corners or breathed on it funny? Like, what then you big, like, jerk?! You're like, so hurtful!" Thomas shrieked as he snatched the magazine out of Dark Kaiser's hands.
"All I wanted was a new pair of shoes! I was just trying to figure out which pair went better with my eyes!" Dark Kaiser shouted.
"Yeah Thomas, the poor guy was just looking for some fashion tips. You're such a jerk, denying him of his one chance at pure happiness. How could you be so heartless as to torture someone like that?" Raven added sarcastically as pulled the string on a stuffed Reeses cup figure, making it dance back and forth and sing in front of Reese.
"EEEEAAAT ME!" the Reeses toy yelled in a happy voice.
"GET THAT ACCURSED TOY AWAY FROM ME!" Reese screamed, her eyes widening in fear.
"Well, dawg, if you wanted to do makeovers *so badly* all you had to do was like, ask!" Thomas defended himself, holding the magazine to his chest protectively.
"But you would have said no! I had to do something! I was desperate!" the Dark Kaiser cried.
"Of *course* I would have said no, girl! Chicks are very possessive, you know!" Thomas rolled his eyes as if everyone should know that.
"Please stop fighting. I don't like confrontation. It scares the dickens outta me!" Fiona cried.
"Dickens......chickens.......dickens......." Hiltz mused to himself. Suddenly a lightbulb appeared above his head and he looked up. "Ooooooo, pretty! Look at it shine!" Hiltz drooled. Then he remembered the great discovery he just *had* to share with everyone before he forgot.....again. "Hey, WOW! Guess what I just figured out, guys?! Do ya wanna know, do ya do ya do ya?!?!" he shouted and everyone turned to look at him. He paused for a minute to build up the drama until he couldn't hold his exciting news anymore. "DICKENS.....RHYMES WITH CHICKENS!!!!!!!" Hiltz screamed. "ISN'T THAT JUST, THE GREATEST THING *EVER*?!?!?!"
Everyone fell anime-style. "Congratulations Hiltz! How long did it take you to figure *that* one out?" Raven snapped.
"Hmmm....hey, it was only about 20 minutes this time! Hurray for Hiltz!" Hiltz screamed.
"Good for you Hiltz, you're officially an imbecile!" Raven told him.
OoO "I AM?! ARE YOU SERIOUS?! BOY HOWDY, THIS IS SUCH AN HONOR!" Hiltz cried proudly. "I'LL DO MY BEST TO UPHOLD THIS POSITION AND NOT FAIL YOU!"
"Oh, I *know* you won't fail us, Hiltz. You're just too good at this!" Raven replied.
"YAY, THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY ENTIRE GOD-FORSAKEN LIFE! VICTORY DANCE!!" Hiltz shrieked and he started dancing insanely around Dark Kaiser's lair.
Yay, my longest chapter so far! There goes the dimwitted fans. Now I own nothing in this story. -_- I got rid of Irvine and Moonbay because it didn't seem like they had a point in the story. For those of you who like them, I'll probably end up bringing them back later. Just because they exploded doesn't mean they're gone forever, not in this fic! And for those who actually care, Van didn't say a word this entire chapter because he's still unconscious, hanging from the ceiling. I might decide to bring him back sometime if I need someone to torture. ^_^ Well, that's enough of my rambling. A million thanks and a bizillion cookies to everyone for being so patient with me and my insanity! ^_________^