Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to the characters John Doggett or Agent
Reyes.
Note To The Readers: This is my first romance story relating to both Agents. Be warned it is extremely corny and overly romanced, but I think it has a nice plot to it. Positive reviews are welcomed! Thank you.
"...Hidden Love..."
CHAPTER 1 - Monica's Feelings
FBI HEADQUARTERS. AGENT DOGGETT'S OFFICE; BASEMENT. 9:34 AM. John Doggett sat at his desk going over some of the latest X-Files. How did he ever manage to get himself into such BS? He didn't believe in any of this. He didn't believe the paranormal, supernatural. It all meant one thing to him; insanity. And he sure as hell didn't want to be fit into that group. He threw down his pencil as Agent Reyes walked in. She was an extreme beauty, but something looked different. She didn't really have that shine in her eyes as she usually did. Infact, that morning she looked quite tired. "You okay, Agent Reyes?" John asked with concern. Agent Reyes, looked up, while taking off her small jacket. She nodded. "I'm fine, thank you, John. I just didn't sleep much last night."
"Perhaps an X-File?" he smirked playfully. Reyes rolled her eyes. Agent Monica Reyes was rather different from Agent John Doggett. She believed anything anyone told her that related to the paranormal. Of course she had her quirks, such as believing diet coke was better for you than regular coke, and although it supposedly is, John Doggett preferred regular coke to diet coke any day. "Well, what happened?" Doggett asked as he watched her sit down a few feet away from him, at her desk. "I don't know John. I'm just scared to go home. It's like I get these feelings..."
"Feelings? Like what kind of feelings...?"
"Like somebody's watching me. And at night I keep myself up thinking somebody is in the room with me and it scares me so much...just my imagination I guess."
"Monica?"
Agent Reyes looked up at Doggett. "Yes?"
"How long has this been happening?"
"A few weeks, I guess." "Well I gotta tell you Monica," Doggett's New York accent briefly showed distinction in his voice. "You don't look too good. Maybe you oughta stay at my place for a couple of days...I mean I have an extra room. Maybe there's something more to these feelings of yours..."
Monica looked up at him. "You're sweet John, but...it's probably just nothing. And how can you say there's something more to my feelings? Now, you are making it sound like an X-File..!"
Monica laughed lightly, and a small grin appeared around the corners of John's mouth. "You sure Monica?" he asked. "Yes, it's alright John. I'm sure it's nothing." Doggett was still filled with concern. Monica never seemed so unsure of something. He didn't like to see her like this. Later in the day when things weren't going any better for Monica (She spilled her coffee on AD Skinner. Tripped and fell while going back downstairs and cut her knee. She couldn't get any of her work done due to falling asleep every five minutes. Doggett had to constantly wake her up) it was time to go home. Agent John Doggett offered her a ride. "Yes, please, John. I'm so tired."
"I know, Mon."
They walked out of their office and headed to his small silver Lexus. Monica sat upfront with him and put her seatbelt on, something John often forgot to do himself, but this time thanks to Monica, he put his on as well. There was silence throughout the whole ride. Monica kept her eyes to the window next to her, watching everything go by her...just like in real life. John looked over at her a couple of times. When they finally arrived at her apartment, Doggett suddenly got a bad feeling. "Mon, why don't you just spend the night at my house and we can pick up your stuff tomorrow or somethin'."
Monica looked over at him. "Oh John," she said putting her hand across his cheek. It was something that startled John, but he liked it. "I just need a good night's sleep. That's all. But thank you..." Doggett shook his head and lowered it, wishing Monica wasn't so stubborn. "Won't you please stay over...I--I now have my own feelings...and believe me Monica, I may not believe in the paranormal, but I do believe in my feelings. And inside me right now I have a bad feeling...so, won't you please, please stay over for the night, at my place, even if it's only one night. It'll make me feel so much better." Monica frowned. Why was John acting like this? She sighed deeply. "I...well..." she stopped what she was saying as John's eyes turned really big. He was giving her his blue-eyed sad puppy dog look, a look that never seemed to fail him before. She sighed again. "Okay, let's go to your place. I just want sleep."
Doggett smiled. "Okay." He turned on the engine on and left for his home. Monica's eyes closed lightly as he slowly made their way to his home. He was glad Monica decided to change his mind. It was for the best. Then John's thoughts paused for a moment. What if his feelings were wrong? What if deep down, he just wanted Monica to go to his home, so he wouldn't have to go home alone. Going home every night to an empty house was a horrible feeling. John hated it. He always seemed to think about Monica when he was home. Her face and big brown eyes. The way her hair fell into her face. The way she smiled every morning when John looked into her eyes. He sighed deeply looking over at her. Her breathing slowing down as she lightly drifted off into dreamland. This put a small curl to John's lips. They arrived at his house, the whole street and neighborhood quiet and dark. This in a way, frightened John. He had never seen the neighborhood like this. So dark and mysterious. Like everyone had up and left, but being an FBI Agent and a man, he tried to brush off his fears. He was afraid of waking up Monica. She needed her sleep so bad and John hated to see her in this condition. He opened up his front door and then opened up the passenger's side and lifted Monica out of the seat and into the house. He placed her on his brown leather couch and then locked up his car and shut the front door, turning on the lights and the air. It was stuffy inside. He took off his coat and threw it down on the table, loosening his tie. He sat down next to Monica, who was still asleep, had already made herself comfortable on the couch, curling into a ball. She began to stir in her sleep, but once again was in a deep sleep. "Mon?" he whispered, leaning closer in. Her breathing was faint. John smiled. He leaned back over to his side and watched her for a long length of time until Monica finally woke up and saw him, watching and staring at her. At first it startled her, but then she realized that it was just John's usual stint. "John?" she asked looking around, his smile faded. "Yes, Mon?" "What happened?" "Well you fell asleep and I couldn't bring myself to wake you. You looked so peaceful...and calm. You looked like you were in a place of harmony and serenity, and I didn't want to take that from you." Monica smiled, her hand once again being placed on the side of John's face and this time, John grabbed at it with his own. This warm sense of comfort and security coming from both of them. John felt the soft texture of her hand against his face. "John, you can be so sweet."
"Yeah," he whispered quietly, "but that's what you like about me, right?"
"True. Among other things."
These words brought John to smile. They're hands still touching, they lightly moved in, they're eyes closed. Monica removed her hand away from John's cheek, and placed it around his neck. The hairs on the back of his neck standing up from this movement. Slowly, they leaned in to kiss, but the phone rang and they instantly jumped back from their close spots. "Be right back," John said irritably and sat up. Monica smiled, watching him walk to the phone and answer it. " 'ello?" he answered. "John Doggett, may I offer you a great deal of Home Life Insurance from --"
Click. John hung up and scowled. "John?" Monica asked. John turned around and faced Monica's endless beauty. "Who was it?" she asked in a worried tone. "Nuttin' important, unless you wanted a great deal on life insurance."
Monica sighed with relief. "I see," she replied. John slowly made his way towards her. "Why?" he asked sitting back down next to her. "Why what?" she asked playfully. John grabbed her hand and with his own, he intertwined their fingers together. Monica stared down at their hands in shock. Was John crushing on her? John noticed her stare. "Monica?" he asked. She looked up. "Why were you worried?" "I thought maybe it was a case or something. I didn't want you going out."
John smiled, this time staring down at their hands. "You make it sound like we're married," he laughed. This made Monica nervous and she pulled away from him. "What are you trying to say, John?"
"Nothin'...what are you trying to say, Mon?" "Nothing."
"Then there you go."
Monica paused for a moment, her arms wrapped around her as John watched her. Something was on her mind. "John, what's going on here?" John shrugged his shoulders. "What do you mean, Mon?"
"John, I'm at your place, for no reason except for one you claim as feelings...feelings that are supposed to be warning you of something bad that's supposed to happen..."
John's heart fell into his stomach and already he felt as if he were digesting it. "...and then I wake up, and you're staring at me, and then we almost kiss, and now you start to hold my hand into yours..."
John looked up at her and into her eyes. Her eyes were becoming watery and this made John sad that he had made her cry. He felt horrible. "I'm sorry, Mon. I don't know what got into me."
Finally Monica began to shed tears. "I just can't believe in any of this John. Your timing is horrible. I've showed feelings for you over these last years and you turned me down each time and when I think I lost my chance for something to ever happen between us, suddenly you show me a little romance..." "I never knew you liked me that much...I mean c'mon Mon, who could ever like me?" John asked looking down. He was afraid to look into her watery eyes. For he was afraid, he himself would cry. "Why...why would you say that John?" the tears in Monica's eyes showing even more. John looked her into the eyes and in the corner of his appeared to small droplets. They went unnoticed however. He placed his thumbs against the side of her eyes and wiped away the newly shed tears, and to his surprise, Monica grabbed one of his arms and pushed it against her cheek. Embracing it. Her eyes closed as a few more tears swiftly fell down her cheek. John, with his free hand, wiped them away as she gently rocked back and forth, his hand still against her check. Again she repeated herself, her eyes still closed, "John, why would you say that?" John just paused for a moment thinking about it. "Well...I just...I've always hid my emotions, I guess. I mean who could ever love me? I'm not as young as I once was, Mon. I'm divorced with one son, who passed away, years ago. I've got dopey ears and I'm an uptight FBI agent who feels that The X- Files shouldn't even exist..."
Monica, opened up her eyes, and found John's filled with tears. He couldn't hold them back anymore, and he felt he was safe to cry with Monica's eyes closed, but once he looked up and saw her staring at him, he pulled his hand away and covered his face. Monica tried to pull his hands away. "No, John. No...It's okay to cry. Please, don't hide. I didn't hide..."
"But you're different, Mon."
"Don't talk like that John...and if you do, then don't hide from me...I don't think I deserve that."
John hid from her for a few more minutes and then finally removed his hands from his face. Tears were streaming down his cheeks. "Oh God, John..."
He went to hide again, but she held his hands down. She reached over for a Kleenex on the coffee table and then wiped the tears away from his eyes. This was the first, truly, emotional time that she had saw John like this, and although it was sad, it also brought her closer to him. Any man that could cry was fine by her. "You should never hide from your emotions, John," Monica said, as he grabbed her hand and rubbed her palm with his thumb. He looked down at her hand while she still wiped away his tears. "Because, then it hides the goodness in you. It hides who John Doggett really is and I know why you hide your emotions."
He looked up at her. "You hide them due to fear and rejection. You hide them, because you feel they make you weak. Like a small child, who needs his mother, but John, hiding your emotions, only makes things worse..."
He looked back down at their hands. "...Age doesn't matter either John. Age is overrated. It's what's on the inside that counts. You're young at heart John, and that makes you young no matter what. And you can be uptight about the FBI's X-Files, but then again you're a facts kinda man. I'm only thankful I haven't scared you off with my beliefs in the paranormal." John smiled at this. "Never," he replied looking back up at her. "Then who could I fight with my so called facts?" this made Monica laugh. John reached in and hugged her tightly. They pulled away and John wiped away Monica's remaining tears. "Can I tell you something else?" Monica asked him. John nodded. "I think your ears are adorable," she said. Her finger caressing the top of one of them. John blushed. "You're jus' saying that Mon."
"No, they're cute. I've always loved your ears and I've always loved you, even if you never saw it."
"I saw it," John said, "I just could never believe it." "Well believe it Mister," she said playfully. John smiled. "Where do we go from here, Mon?" John asked suddenly.
"Well, where do you want it to go from here?" Monica replied. "It seems all so surreal. Kinda fast too. Do you think we're rushing things?"
Monica was afraid of this. "John, if you wanna back out now, just tell me."
"No, I just don't want to make you do something you're not comfortable with."
"Like what? Make love to you?"
"What? Monica, no I mean like getting into a relationship with me." "Well, why are you suddenly ready for all of this, where is before you weren't?" Monica questioned him. John sighed. Even he didn't know the answer to this question. "I didn't realize it today. I didn't realize, the love I had inside me. All of it meant for you. And you're right, I did hide my emotions and feeling due to fear and making me feel weak...but not anymore, Mon," John put his hand on Monica's cheek again, making her feel secure. "Not anymore. Now I wanna make it up, by giving you all of my love, everyday." Tears swiftly came from Monica's eyes again and John once again brushed them away. "Don't cry, Mon. I'm here for you now." "That's what I'm afraid of."
John's eyes widened. "What do ya mean?" he asked. Monica paused for a moment, more tears following her sadness, only to be wiped away from John's thumbs. "What if this is all too surreal...and that in the morning or anytime soon this will all end." "It won't end. I promise."
"You can't promise," Monica scoffed. "How can you sit here and tell me that you're here for me now, when I needed you months ago?" John sighed. "I know Monica. But that's in the past. I'm here for you now..."
"But even though it's in the past, it still hurts."
"I know."
"No, you don't," Monica retorted. She moved back away from John. Her sadness hitting him once again and this time he felt as if his heart had stopped moving altogether. "You don't know it feels, nor will you ever."
"What are you saying Monica? That's I'm incapable of feeling things? That I can't love or feel loved?"
"No, John," Monica said. "No, that's not it at all. You missed my point."
"Then explain your point," John said impatiently. Monica sighed. "I meant that you'd never understand how much I went through when I didn't have you. I went through so much pain and loneliness."
"Well, see, that's why I'm here, Mon. I need you. You need me. We should both be here together for each other."
Monica wanted to cry so much again. Tears were building up already. "But what if it ends, is all I'm saying. How can this love possibly continue when for so long it was apart?"
"That's the beauty of it, Mon," John replied. Monica's eyes widened with confusion. "That's what makes us stronger. That's what makes our love stronger. Without that there'd be nothing. Our hidden love helps keep us in line. Don't you see, Mon? This isn't just some teenage love, this is the real thing." "But how do you know John? How do you know it's the real thing?" Monica asked. "I don't, but I can feel it. This is true love, Mon. Sure it will take time to develop, but it'll be worth it." "I hope you're right, John," Monica said, a lonely tear made its way down her cheek and John wiped it off. "I hope you're right." "Listen to your heart Mon. And you'll see if I am."
Monica's eyes scanned his and felt the love that he was giving her. She felt it to be true. He patted her leg and said, "C'mon lets go to bed. You can sleep in Luke's room."
"Are you sure, you want me to sleep in Luke's room?"
"I don't mind, unless you have another idea," John grinned. "You have a dirty mind, John," Monica replied sheepishly. "Well, if you wanna sleep in Luke's room. It's alright, seriously Monica."
Monica nodded and she and John walked up the stairs. "G'night, Mon" John said, starting to walk into his room, which was next to Luke's. "Good night John," Monica said disappearing into Luke's room. John gave one more faint smile, before he also went into his room. He changed into more comfortable sleeping clothes; an overly sized sweatshirt and some jogging pants and looked up to see Monica staring at him in the doorway. He was shocked to find her watching him. He coughed loudly. "I'm sorry, John. I should have knocked, but I was wondering.."
He looked at her, hoping she would say what he wanted her to say. "Can I borrow a shirt or something? We kinda left my place without getting any extra clothes and I don't think I can sleep in my outfit."
John chuckled lightly. Not the exact thing, but nevertheless. He nodded. "Sure, Mon. I'll find you something."
She waited in the doorway, while he looked around in his closet and pulled out a heavy, large sweater. "How's this?" he asked playfully. "Perfect," she said with a smile as he handed it to her. "I am sorry about tonight...I feel awkward about that."
"No, it's fine. I'm glad I came."
She touched John's hand lightly when she grabbed for the sweater. "Goodnight," he said in a light whisper. She nodded and took her leave. John smiled lightly and then shut the door. How he wished she had asked to sleep with him tonight. He sighed and sat in bed.
Monica walked into Luke's room, the darkness creeping all over. She changed and put on John's old sweater. Thank God it was long enough that she didn't need to wear her pants. She slipped into Luke's bed. And closed her eyes, instantly falling into sleep. Then the dreams began to form... Monica woke up to find complete blackness. She sat bolt up right and stood up for several seconds until the gray light from outside's full moon shined inside Luke's room. Monica threw back the covers and walked out of the room and headed towards John's room. She peered inside, but John was nowhere to be found. "John?" she called out. Silence. She heard screaming downstairs and ran into Luke's room, pulling out her magnum from where her clothes were at in the corner and headed downstairs, fast at first, and then slow, listening closely. Another scream. She looked down, into the darkness and saw John on the floor, bleeding. He looked up at her and shook his head, motioning for her to go back upstairs. "Oh God, John..." she yelled out. He again shook his head. "Monica...Run away...right now. Run away...before --" Monica's eyes filled with tears as a stranger in black, someone who resembled a figure she saw in her own apartment before, shot at John. John's eyes closed and he was motionless. Monica screamed as the figure, turned and looked up at her. Its eyes glowing with this immense darkness. Something Monica had never seen before. She screamed again, and turned to run upstairs, but she was suddenly frozen with fear, but also frozen from some other force. She turned around and the creature came at her and threw back a dark cloak it had been wearing. The darkness covered up its face, but Monica could see its large mouth clearly and inside as it opened up, laid thousands, hundreds of small teeth. Monica screamed once again as it came at her. It's teeth getting closer and closer. Monica woke up in a cold sweat. John looking at her, the light from a small lamp on the desk switched on from John. She looked up at him with fear and shock. "Monica?" he asked. "What the hell where you dreamin' about?" Monica breathed deeply trying to catch her breath. "I -- nothing, it was a nightmare." John's eyes filled with concern. Monica looked at his chest. In her dream his chest was covered in bullet holes and blood. John looked down as well. "What's wrong?" he asked, walking over to her. She was still staring at his chest, when he sat down next to her. He placed his arm around her shoulder, in taking some of the coldness that surrounded her. She put her hand against his chest and rubbed it lightly, still thinking she was in a dream. He smiled lightly, watching her. "My heart's over here," he said pointing to the left, smiling sheepishly. Monica looked up at him and then put her hand on the left side of his chest, feeling his heart beat against her hand. It made unshed tears build up inside her. Doggett watched her for several seconds. "Hey, what's gotten into you?" he asked as she stared blankly at his chest again. She removed her hand from his chest and placed both her hands in her lap. "I had a horrible nightmare..."
"So, you've said," John responded quietly. "Wanna talk about it?..."
Tears slowly made their way down Monica's cheeks and John instantly wiped them off. It seemed like a job for him, but he enjoyed it. "I'm sorry," she cried, "for sobbing once again."
John pulled her in for a hug and they held each other for several minutes. John inhaled her scent while she cried into his shoulder. Monica was the first to pull away. "You really wanna hear about my nightmare?" she asked sadly. John nodded, putting his hand up against her cheek and rubbing it tenderly. This put Monica in a relaxed state and she closed her eyes, her hand against his. "I dreamt you were killed," as she said this her mind flashed an image of John downstairs with the blood soaked t-shirt from the dream and Monica opened her eyes in a heartbeat and she stared blankly into John's worried eyes. "This thing...this creature...shot at you and you were bleeding. Your chest covered in blood," he stopped what she was saying and put her hands on his chest again. John looked down. "It was so vivid, so real..."
"Mon, it's okay. I'm here. I'm safe. See," he said, putting his hands over hers to show that he was all in one place. "I'm fine."
Monica's eyes filled with water as she turned away. "I know, John. I know it was only a nightmare. One that seemed real..."
"Shh...Mon. It's okay. I know how scary dreams can be..." he paused for a second, "did anything else happen?" She looked over at him, wiping her tears away. "You know," he said, "in your dream." She nodded. "The thing took off its cloak and made its way towards me, on the stairs, and I couldn't move. It was as if it took my fears and worries and used it against me. I was paralyzed. It opened its mouth and inside was hundreds of small teeth. I screamed and then woke up..." John chuckled lightly and this upset Monica. "Why are you laughing?" she asked. "I'm sorry, Mon. I know it's a serious thing. But I've heard about this before."
"You have?" He nodded. "He's called a Nluck Clu-Slurk. He's a dream demon. He comes to you when you have a lot on your mind, and harms those you love, in your dreams, but that's all. I heard that if you are visited by such a creature, he'll bring good luck to you and those who were involved in your dream."
Monica sighed. "Wow..." she paused for a second. "Wait a minute...how do you know this? Sounds like an X-File."
John smiled evilly. "The Lone gun man told me about him. I don't believe the whole good luck thing though..." "Of course," Monica mumbled. "Well, do you?" he asked. "I might as well. I believe in everything else."
John looked at her for a second as she looked away. "Well then," he said exhaling deeply, she looked up at him. "I'll believe it too. Maybe it'll give us both good luck."
Monica smiled. "You don't have to, John."
John shook his head. "No, I want to." Monica smiled once again as did John. She looked at his chest again, the violent images visiting her once again. John put his shoulder around her and brought her closer to him. "Hey, I'm okay," he said. She nodded. "I know." "Think you'll be able to sleep any?" he asked her. Monica nodded. "I think so," she said. "Thank you John." John nodded and sat up. "Well I'll see you in the morning," he said and closed the door behind him. Monica sighed. She wished now that John hadn't left. She didn't want to be alone. Finally after about 30 minutes of tossing and turning Monica sat up and walked into John's room, it resembled her dream. She opened the door, afraid he wouldn't be there, and he wasn't. She covered her mouth. Okay Mon, don't panic. Maybe he's downstairs watching TV? She slowly made her way downstairs and saw a light in the corner of the room; she peered around and saw John in the kitchen. "John?" she asked. John looked up. The light came from the fridge door. "Hey, Mon. Still can't sleep?"
She shook her head. Her arms crossed. John looked down at her legs. They were so soft looking. Monica didn't notice until he looked down at them again. "What are you looking at?" she asked. He shook his head. "Nuttin. Want a sandwich?" he asked. "Sure, what kind?"
"Good ol' peanut butter."
"Okay, that's fine," she said walking up to him as he grabbed two more slices of bread. "So, what were you staring at my legs for?" Monica whispered into his ears. John almost choked on his spit when he heard her say this. "I uh..." "There really is only one kind of man in the world," Monica said. "What's that supposed to mean?" John snapped. "Well, c'mon John. Like you don't find me attractive?"
John swallowed hard. "Monica, I find you very, very attractive. But I am a gentleman. If you mean about guys and sex. Believe me, I find that there's much more than sex."
"Such as...?"
"Such as, butterfly kisses and holding hands."
"A true romantic, John Doggett."
John winked at her. "Don't cha know it!" Monica smiled. "It's comforting to know, that I don't have to be afraid of you."
"I think you should," John joked. Monica nudged him lightly as he handed her the sandwich. "Thanks," she said. He smiled. "You're very welcome Monica Reyes." They sat on the couch, John turning the lights on only to dim them. "Very romantic," Monica replied. John nodded. "I was hoping you'd say that." They ate their sandwiches in silence until finally John spoke. "Well, I guess maybe now we'll rest a little easier."
He got up to go back up stairs, but Monica called for him. He turned around. "Yes, agent?" he asked formally. Monica sighed. "Can I sleep with you...you know...just like for tonight, as a final comfort or something?"
The words John had been waiting for all night. He nodded. "Sure, of course." She threw their plates in the trash (How Doggett was indeed grateful for whoever invented paper plates) and they walked upstairs together. John's arm swiftly around her shoulder. They went in his room and Monica closed the door. John was the first to slip into bed, he waited for Monica and, throwing back the covers and she slipped into bed with him. John put the covers on her, making sure she was nice a comfy, and she curled up next to him as he pulled her in closer, holding her into a tight embrace. Monica's breathing slowed down and soon she was asleep. John watched her for a while, until he fell asleep as well.
Note To The Readers: This is my first romance story relating to both Agents. Be warned it is extremely corny and overly romanced, but I think it has a nice plot to it. Positive reviews are welcomed! Thank you.
"...Hidden Love..."
CHAPTER 1 - Monica's Feelings
FBI HEADQUARTERS. AGENT DOGGETT'S OFFICE; BASEMENT. 9:34 AM. John Doggett sat at his desk going over some of the latest X-Files. How did he ever manage to get himself into such BS? He didn't believe in any of this. He didn't believe the paranormal, supernatural. It all meant one thing to him; insanity. And he sure as hell didn't want to be fit into that group. He threw down his pencil as Agent Reyes walked in. She was an extreme beauty, but something looked different. She didn't really have that shine in her eyes as she usually did. Infact, that morning she looked quite tired. "You okay, Agent Reyes?" John asked with concern. Agent Reyes, looked up, while taking off her small jacket. She nodded. "I'm fine, thank you, John. I just didn't sleep much last night."
"Perhaps an X-File?" he smirked playfully. Reyes rolled her eyes. Agent Monica Reyes was rather different from Agent John Doggett. She believed anything anyone told her that related to the paranormal. Of course she had her quirks, such as believing diet coke was better for you than regular coke, and although it supposedly is, John Doggett preferred regular coke to diet coke any day. "Well, what happened?" Doggett asked as he watched her sit down a few feet away from him, at her desk. "I don't know John. I'm just scared to go home. It's like I get these feelings..."
"Feelings? Like what kind of feelings...?"
"Like somebody's watching me. And at night I keep myself up thinking somebody is in the room with me and it scares me so much...just my imagination I guess."
"Monica?"
Agent Reyes looked up at Doggett. "Yes?"
"How long has this been happening?"
"A few weeks, I guess." "Well I gotta tell you Monica," Doggett's New York accent briefly showed distinction in his voice. "You don't look too good. Maybe you oughta stay at my place for a couple of days...I mean I have an extra room. Maybe there's something more to these feelings of yours..."
Monica looked up at him. "You're sweet John, but...it's probably just nothing. And how can you say there's something more to my feelings? Now, you are making it sound like an X-File..!"
Monica laughed lightly, and a small grin appeared around the corners of John's mouth. "You sure Monica?" he asked. "Yes, it's alright John. I'm sure it's nothing." Doggett was still filled with concern. Monica never seemed so unsure of something. He didn't like to see her like this. Later in the day when things weren't going any better for Monica (She spilled her coffee on AD Skinner. Tripped and fell while going back downstairs and cut her knee. She couldn't get any of her work done due to falling asleep every five minutes. Doggett had to constantly wake her up) it was time to go home. Agent John Doggett offered her a ride. "Yes, please, John. I'm so tired."
"I know, Mon."
They walked out of their office and headed to his small silver Lexus. Monica sat upfront with him and put her seatbelt on, something John often forgot to do himself, but this time thanks to Monica, he put his on as well. There was silence throughout the whole ride. Monica kept her eyes to the window next to her, watching everything go by her...just like in real life. John looked over at her a couple of times. When they finally arrived at her apartment, Doggett suddenly got a bad feeling. "Mon, why don't you just spend the night at my house and we can pick up your stuff tomorrow or somethin'."
Monica looked over at him. "Oh John," she said putting her hand across his cheek. It was something that startled John, but he liked it. "I just need a good night's sleep. That's all. But thank you..." Doggett shook his head and lowered it, wishing Monica wasn't so stubborn. "Won't you please stay over...I--I now have my own feelings...and believe me Monica, I may not believe in the paranormal, but I do believe in my feelings. And inside me right now I have a bad feeling...so, won't you please, please stay over for the night, at my place, even if it's only one night. It'll make me feel so much better." Monica frowned. Why was John acting like this? She sighed deeply. "I...well..." she stopped what she was saying as John's eyes turned really big. He was giving her his blue-eyed sad puppy dog look, a look that never seemed to fail him before. She sighed again. "Okay, let's go to your place. I just want sleep."
Doggett smiled. "Okay." He turned on the engine on and left for his home. Monica's eyes closed lightly as he slowly made their way to his home. He was glad Monica decided to change his mind. It was for the best. Then John's thoughts paused for a moment. What if his feelings were wrong? What if deep down, he just wanted Monica to go to his home, so he wouldn't have to go home alone. Going home every night to an empty house was a horrible feeling. John hated it. He always seemed to think about Monica when he was home. Her face and big brown eyes. The way her hair fell into her face. The way she smiled every morning when John looked into her eyes. He sighed deeply looking over at her. Her breathing slowing down as she lightly drifted off into dreamland. This put a small curl to John's lips. They arrived at his house, the whole street and neighborhood quiet and dark. This in a way, frightened John. He had never seen the neighborhood like this. So dark and mysterious. Like everyone had up and left, but being an FBI Agent and a man, he tried to brush off his fears. He was afraid of waking up Monica. She needed her sleep so bad and John hated to see her in this condition. He opened up his front door and then opened up the passenger's side and lifted Monica out of the seat and into the house. He placed her on his brown leather couch and then locked up his car and shut the front door, turning on the lights and the air. It was stuffy inside. He took off his coat and threw it down on the table, loosening his tie. He sat down next to Monica, who was still asleep, had already made herself comfortable on the couch, curling into a ball. She began to stir in her sleep, but once again was in a deep sleep. "Mon?" he whispered, leaning closer in. Her breathing was faint. John smiled. He leaned back over to his side and watched her for a long length of time until Monica finally woke up and saw him, watching and staring at her. At first it startled her, but then she realized that it was just John's usual stint. "John?" she asked looking around, his smile faded. "Yes, Mon?" "What happened?" "Well you fell asleep and I couldn't bring myself to wake you. You looked so peaceful...and calm. You looked like you were in a place of harmony and serenity, and I didn't want to take that from you." Monica smiled, her hand once again being placed on the side of John's face and this time, John grabbed at it with his own. This warm sense of comfort and security coming from both of them. John felt the soft texture of her hand against his face. "John, you can be so sweet."
"Yeah," he whispered quietly, "but that's what you like about me, right?"
"True. Among other things."
These words brought John to smile. They're hands still touching, they lightly moved in, they're eyes closed. Monica removed her hand away from John's cheek, and placed it around his neck. The hairs on the back of his neck standing up from this movement. Slowly, they leaned in to kiss, but the phone rang and they instantly jumped back from their close spots. "Be right back," John said irritably and sat up. Monica smiled, watching him walk to the phone and answer it. " 'ello?" he answered. "John Doggett, may I offer you a great deal of Home Life Insurance from --"
Click. John hung up and scowled. "John?" Monica asked. John turned around and faced Monica's endless beauty. "Who was it?" she asked in a worried tone. "Nuttin' important, unless you wanted a great deal on life insurance."
Monica sighed with relief. "I see," she replied. John slowly made his way towards her. "Why?" he asked sitting back down next to her. "Why what?" she asked playfully. John grabbed her hand and with his own, he intertwined their fingers together. Monica stared down at their hands in shock. Was John crushing on her? John noticed her stare. "Monica?" he asked. She looked up. "Why were you worried?" "I thought maybe it was a case or something. I didn't want you going out."
John smiled, this time staring down at their hands. "You make it sound like we're married," he laughed. This made Monica nervous and she pulled away from him. "What are you trying to say, John?"
"Nothin'...what are you trying to say, Mon?" "Nothing."
"Then there you go."
Monica paused for a moment, her arms wrapped around her as John watched her. Something was on her mind. "John, what's going on here?" John shrugged his shoulders. "What do you mean, Mon?"
"John, I'm at your place, for no reason except for one you claim as feelings...feelings that are supposed to be warning you of something bad that's supposed to happen..."
John's heart fell into his stomach and already he felt as if he were digesting it. "...and then I wake up, and you're staring at me, and then we almost kiss, and now you start to hold my hand into yours..."
John looked up at her and into her eyes. Her eyes were becoming watery and this made John sad that he had made her cry. He felt horrible. "I'm sorry, Mon. I don't know what got into me."
Finally Monica began to shed tears. "I just can't believe in any of this John. Your timing is horrible. I've showed feelings for you over these last years and you turned me down each time and when I think I lost my chance for something to ever happen between us, suddenly you show me a little romance..." "I never knew you liked me that much...I mean c'mon Mon, who could ever like me?" John asked looking down. He was afraid to look into her watery eyes. For he was afraid, he himself would cry. "Why...why would you say that John?" the tears in Monica's eyes showing even more. John looked her into the eyes and in the corner of his appeared to small droplets. They went unnoticed however. He placed his thumbs against the side of her eyes and wiped away the newly shed tears, and to his surprise, Monica grabbed one of his arms and pushed it against her cheek. Embracing it. Her eyes closed as a few more tears swiftly fell down her cheek. John, with his free hand, wiped them away as she gently rocked back and forth, his hand still against her check. Again she repeated herself, her eyes still closed, "John, why would you say that?" John just paused for a moment thinking about it. "Well...I just...I've always hid my emotions, I guess. I mean who could ever love me? I'm not as young as I once was, Mon. I'm divorced with one son, who passed away, years ago. I've got dopey ears and I'm an uptight FBI agent who feels that The X- Files shouldn't even exist..."
Monica, opened up her eyes, and found John's filled with tears. He couldn't hold them back anymore, and he felt he was safe to cry with Monica's eyes closed, but once he looked up and saw her staring at him, he pulled his hand away and covered his face. Monica tried to pull his hands away. "No, John. No...It's okay to cry. Please, don't hide. I didn't hide..."
"But you're different, Mon."
"Don't talk like that John...and if you do, then don't hide from me...I don't think I deserve that."
John hid from her for a few more minutes and then finally removed his hands from his face. Tears were streaming down his cheeks. "Oh God, John..."
He went to hide again, but she held his hands down. She reached over for a Kleenex on the coffee table and then wiped the tears away from his eyes. This was the first, truly, emotional time that she had saw John like this, and although it was sad, it also brought her closer to him. Any man that could cry was fine by her. "You should never hide from your emotions, John," Monica said, as he grabbed her hand and rubbed her palm with his thumb. He looked down at her hand while she still wiped away his tears. "Because, then it hides the goodness in you. It hides who John Doggett really is and I know why you hide your emotions."
He looked up at her. "You hide them due to fear and rejection. You hide them, because you feel they make you weak. Like a small child, who needs his mother, but John, hiding your emotions, only makes things worse..."
He looked back down at their hands. "...Age doesn't matter either John. Age is overrated. It's what's on the inside that counts. You're young at heart John, and that makes you young no matter what. And you can be uptight about the FBI's X-Files, but then again you're a facts kinda man. I'm only thankful I haven't scared you off with my beliefs in the paranormal." John smiled at this. "Never," he replied looking back up at her. "Then who could I fight with my so called facts?" this made Monica laugh. John reached in and hugged her tightly. They pulled away and John wiped away Monica's remaining tears. "Can I tell you something else?" Monica asked him. John nodded. "I think your ears are adorable," she said. Her finger caressing the top of one of them. John blushed. "You're jus' saying that Mon."
"No, they're cute. I've always loved your ears and I've always loved you, even if you never saw it."
"I saw it," John said, "I just could never believe it." "Well believe it Mister," she said playfully. John smiled. "Where do we go from here, Mon?" John asked suddenly.
"Well, where do you want it to go from here?" Monica replied. "It seems all so surreal. Kinda fast too. Do you think we're rushing things?"
Monica was afraid of this. "John, if you wanna back out now, just tell me."
"No, I just don't want to make you do something you're not comfortable with."
"Like what? Make love to you?"
"What? Monica, no I mean like getting into a relationship with me." "Well, why are you suddenly ready for all of this, where is before you weren't?" Monica questioned him. John sighed. Even he didn't know the answer to this question. "I didn't realize it today. I didn't realize, the love I had inside me. All of it meant for you. And you're right, I did hide my emotions and feeling due to fear and making me feel weak...but not anymore, Mon," John put his hand on Monica's cheek again, making her feel secure. "Not anymore. Now I wanna make it up, by giving you all of my love, everyday." Tears swiftly came from Monica's eyes again and John once again brushed them away. "Don't cry, Mon. I'm here for you now." "That's what I'm afraid of."
John's eyes widened. "What do ya mean?" he asked. Monica paused for a moment, more tears following her sadness, only to be wiped away from John's thumbs. "What if this is all too surreal...and that in the morning or anytime soon this will all end." "It won't end. I promise."
"You can't promise," Monica scoffed. "How can you sit here and tell me that you're here for me now, when I needed you months ago?" John sighed. "I know Monica. But that's in the past. I'm here for you now..."
"But even though it's in the past, it still hurts."
"I know."
"No, you don't," Monica retorted. She moved back away from John. Her sadness hitting him once again and this time he felt as if his heart had stopped moving altogether. "You don't know it feels, nor will you ever."
"What are you saying Monica? That's I'm incapable of feeling things? That I can't love or feel loved?"
"No, John," Monica said. "No, that's not it at all. You missed my point."
"Then explain your point," John said impatiently. Monica sighed. "I meant that you'd never understand how much I went through when I didn't have you. I went through so much pain and loneliness."
"Well, see, that's why I'm here, Mon. I need you. You need me. We should both be here together for each other."
Monica wanted to cry so much again. Tears were building up already. "But what if it ends, is all I'm saying. How can this love possibly continue when for so long it was apart?"
"That's the beauty of it, Mon," John replied. Monica's eyes widened with confusion. "That's what makes us stronger. That's what makes our love stronger. Without that there'd be nothing. Our hidden love helps keep us in line. Don't you see, Mon? This isn't just some teenage love, this is the real thing." "But how do you know John? How do you know it's the real thing?" Monica asked. "I don't, but I can feel it. This is true love, Mon. Sure it will take time to develop, but it'll be worth it." "I hope you're right, John," Monica said, a lonely tear made its way down her cheek and John wiped it off. "I hope you're right." "Listen to your heart Mon. And you'll see if I am."
Monica's eyes scanned his and felt the love that he was giving her. She felt it to be true. He patted her leg and said, "C'mon lets go to bed. You can sleep in Luke's room."
"Are you sure, you want me to sleep in Luke's room?"
"I don't mind, unless you have another idea," John grinned. "You have a dirty mind, John," Monica replied sheepishly. "Well, if you wanna sleep in Luke's room. It's alright, seriously Monica."
Monica nodded and she and John walked up the stairs. "G'night, Mon" John said, starting to walk into his room, which was next to Luke's. "Good night John," Monica said disappearing into Luke's room. John gave one more faint smile, before he also went into his room. He changed into more comfortable sleeping clothes; an overly sized sweatshirt and some jogging pants and looked up to see Monica staring at him in the doorway. He was shocked to find her watching him. He coughed loudly. "I'm sorry, John. I should have knocked, but I was wondering.."
He looked at her, hoping she would say what he wanted her to say. "Can I borrow a shirt or something? We kinda left my place without getting any extra clothes and I don't think I can sleep in my outfit."
John chuckled lightly. Not the exact thing, but nevertheless. He nodded. "Sure, Mon. I'll find you something."
She waited in the doorway, while he looked around in his closet and pulled out a heavy, large sweater. "How's this?" he asked playfully. "Perfect," she said with a smile as he handed it to her. "I am sorry about tonight...I feel awkward about that."
"No, it's fine. I'm glad I came."
She touched John's hand lightly when she grabbed for the sweater. "Goodnight," he said in a light whisper. She nodded and took her leave. John smiled lightly and then shut the door. How he wished she had asked to sleep with him tonight. He sighed and sat in bed.
Monica walked into Luke's room, the darkness creeping all over. She changed and put on John's old sweater. Thank God it was long enough that she didn't need to wear her pants. She slipped into Luke's bed. And closed her eyes, instantly falling into sleep. Then the dreams began to form... Monica woke up to find complete blackness. She sat bolt up right and stood up for several seconds until the gray light from outside's full moon shined inside Luke's room. Monica threw back the covers and walked out of the room and headed towards John's room. She peered inside, but John was nowhere to be found. "John?" she called out. Silence. She heard screaming downstairs and ran into Luke's room, pulling out her magnum from where her clothes were at in the corner and headed downstairs, fast at first, and then slow, listening closely. Another scream. She looked down, into the darkness and saw John on the floor, bleeding. He looked up at her and shook his head, motioning for her to go back upstairs. "Oh God, John..." she yelled out. He again shook his head. "Monica...Run away...right now. Run away...before --" Monica's eyes filled with tears as a stranger in black, someone who resembled a figure she saw in her own apartment before, shot at John. John's eyes closed and he was motionless. Monica screamed as the figure, turned and looked up at her. Its eyes glowing with this immense darkness. Something Monica had never seen before. She screamed again, and turned to run upstairs, but she was suddenly frozen with fear, but also frozen from some other force. She turned around and the creature came at her and threw back a dark cloak it had been wearing. The darkness covered up its face, but Monica could see its large mouth clearly and inside as it opened up, laid thousands, hundreds of small teeth. Monica screamed once again as it came at her. It's teeth getting closer and closer. Monica woke up in a cold sweat. John looking at her, the light from a small lamp on the desk switched on from John. She looked up at him with fear and shock. "Monica?" he asked. "What the hell where you dreamin' about?" Monica breathed deeply trying to catch her breath. "I -- nothing, it was a nightmare." John's eyes filled with concern. Monica looked at his chest. In her dream his chest was covered in bullet holes and blood. John looked down as well. "What's wrong?" he asked, walking over to her. She was still staring at his chest, when he sat down next to her. He placed his arm around her shoulder, in taking some of the coldness that surrounded her. She put her hand against his chest and rubbed it lightly, still thinking she was in a dream. He smiled lightly, watching her. "My heart's over here," he said pointing to the left, smiling sheepishly. Monica looked up at him and then put her hand on the left side of his chest, feeling his heart beat against her hand. It made unshed tears build up inside her. Doggett watched her for several seconds. "Hey, what's gotten into you?" he asked as she stared blankly at his chest again. She removed her hand from his chest and placed both her hands in her lap. "I had a horrible nightmare..."
"So, you've said," John responded quietly. "Wanna talk about it?..."
Tears slowly made their way down Monica's cheeks and John instantly wiped them off. It seemed like a job for him, but he enjoyed it. "I'm sorry," she cried, "for sobbing once again."
John pulled her in for a hug and they held each other for several minutes. John inhaled her scent while she cried into his shoulder. Monica was the first to pull away. "You really wanna hear about my nightmare?" she asked sadly. John nodded, putting his hand up against her cheek and rubbing it tenderly. This put Monica in a relaxed state and she closed her eyes, her hand against his. "I dreamt you were killed," as she said this her mind flashed an image of John downstairs with the blood soaked t-shirt from the dream and Monica opened her eyes in a heartbeat and she stared blankly into John's worried eyes. "This thing...this creature...shot at you and you were bleeding. Your chest covered in blood," he stopped what she was saying and put her hands on his chest again. John looked down. "It was so vivid, so real..."
"Mon, it's okay. I'm here. I'm safe. See," he said, putting his hands over hers to show that he was all in one place. "I'm fine."
Monica's eyes filled with water as she turned away. "I know, John. I know it was only a nightmare. One that seemed real..."
"Shh...Mon. It's okay. I know how scary dreams can be..." he paused for a second, "did anything else happen?" She looked over at him, wiping her tears away. "You know," he said, "in your dream." She nodded. "The thing took off its cloak and made its way towards me, on the stairs, and I couldn't move. It was as if it took my fears and worries and used it against me. I was paralyzed. It opened its mouth and inside was hundreds of small teeth. I screamed and then woke up..." John chuckled lightly and this upset Monica. "Why are you laughing?" she asked. "I'm sorry, Mon. I know it's a serious thing. But I've heard about this before."
"You have?" He nodded. "He's called a Nluck Clu-Slurk. He's a dream demon. He comes to you when you have a lot on your mind, and harms those you love, in your dreams, but that's all. I heard that if you are visited by such a creature, he'll bring good luck to you and those who were involved in your dream."
Monica sighed. "Wow..." she paused for a second. "Wait a minute...how do you know this? Sounds like an X-File."
John smiled evilly. "The Lone gun man told me about him. I don't believe the whole good luck thing though..." "Of course," Monica mumbled. "Well, do you?" he asked. "I might as well. I believe in everything else."
John looked at her for a second as she looked away. "Well then," he said exhaling deeply, she looked up at him. "I'll believe it too. Maybe it'll give us both good luck."
Monica smiled. "You don't have to, John."
John shook his head. "No, I want to." Monica smiled once again as did John. She looked at his chest again, the violent images visiting her once again. John put his shoulder around her and brought her closer to him. "Hey, I'm okay," he said. She nodded. "I know." "Think you'll be able to sleep any?" he asked her. Monica nodded. "I think so," she said. "Thank you John." John nodded and sat up. "Well I'll see you in the morning," he said and closed the door behind him. Monica sighed. She wished now that John hadn't left. She didn't want to be alone. Finally after about 30 minutes of tossing and turning Monica sat up and walked into John's room, it resembled her dream. She opened the door, afraid he wouldn't be there, and he wasn't. She covered her mouth. Okay Mon, don't panic. Maybe he's downstairs watching TV? She slowly made her way downstairs and saw a light in the corner of the room; she peered around and saw John in the kitchen. "John?" she asked. John looked up. The light came from the fridge door. "Hey, Mon. Still can't sleep?"
She shook her head. Her arms crossed. John looked down at her legs. They were so soft looking. Monica didn't notice until he looked down at them again. "What are you looking at?" she asked. He shook his head. "Nuttin. Want a sandwich?" he asked. "Sure, what kind?"
"Good ol' peanut butter."
"Okay, that's fine," she said walking up to him as he grabbed two more slices of bread. "So, what were you staring at my legs for?" Monica whispered into his ears. John almost choked on his spit when he heard her say this. "I uh..." "There really is only one kind of man in the world," Monica said. "What's that supposed to mean?" John snapped. "Well, c'mon John. Like you don't find me attractive?"
John swallowed hard. "Monica, I find you very, very attractive. But I am a gentleman. If you mean about guys and sex. Believe me, I find that there's much more than sex."
"Such as...?"
"Such as, butterfly kisses and holding hands."
"A true romantic, John Doggett."
John winked at her. "Don't cha know it!" Monica smiled. "It's comforting to know, that I don't have to be afraid of you."
"I think you should," John joked. Monica nudged him lightly as he handed her the sandwich. "Thanks," she said. He smiled. "You're very welcome Monica Reyes." They sat on the couch, John turning the lights on only to dim them. "Very romantic," Monica replied. John nodded. "I was hoping you'd say that." They ate their sandwiches in silence until finally John spoke. "Well, I guess maybe now we'll rest a little easier."
He got up to go back up stairs, but Monica called for him. He turned around. "Yes, agent?" he asked formally. Monica sighed. "Can I sleep with you...you know...just like for tonight, as a final comfort or something?"
The words John had been waiting for all night. He nodded. "Sure, of course." She threw their plates in the trash (How Doggett was indeed grateful for whoever invented paper plates) and they walked upstairs together. John's arm swiftly around her shoulder. They went in his room and Monica closed the door. John was the first to slip into bed, he waited for Monica and, throwing back the covers and she slipped into bed with him. John put the covers on her, making sure she was nice a comfy, and she curled up next to him as he pulled her in closer, holding her into a tight embrace. Monica's breathing slowed down and soon she was asleep. John watched her for a while, until he fell asleep as well.