Alright, I think some shout outs (if that's what you can call them) are in
order!
Lady Shadow-san: Thank you for all your reviews! Please, keep on reading and reviewing. I really hope you like this chapter too. Oh, and how is your picture coming along??
Kamazova: Thanks for being so loyal and checking to see if I updated!! I feel special now ^_^ Hopefully, you'll be checking up on this chapter too! Oh, and thank you for saying you approve of the Christian influence in one of your earlier reviews. I know some people probably have a problem with that - it's good you're not one of them.
Heaven Star: You were right - why didn't Brad warn them?? Just another hole in the story I got to patch up in this chapter! Thank you for pointing that out - you're one of my most faithful reviewers for this story. Keep up the good work!
Misura: Thank you for all your reviews! But you didn't review chapter eight!! *cries* Are you still reading?? I hope so!!
~~~~~
Hiromi buried his head into his hands and collapsed into a sitting position at the edge of the gym's stage, groaning in aggravation. Bonnie watched the sophomore from where she stood slightly below, toying with a strand of her hair and feeling the sting of defeat herself. For a while, the two said nothing, too exhausted from pushing their brains to produce an idea for their song that was realistic, but none had been conceived.
"This is harder than I thought," he finally admitted, lifting chocolate brown eyes to meet hers. "It seems the song I picked won't work for the selections you brought me, so I'm gonna have to change it. Perhaps you have a song that already has a little English or Spanish or anything in it?"
She pouted, disappointed at once again having to admit she was clueless. "Let's just make up our own song by combining all mine!" she said, thoroughly frustrated.
Hiromi threw his hands up. "That was the original plan, remember? It doesn't work!"
"We can make it!"
They glared in determination at one another a few moments before he lowered his head in defeat. "Alright. Let me borrow your CD's again and I'll work something out. A small hint though, Bonnie. One of the judges, the youngest one, is an anime freak - which genre he leans to I have no idea. Perhaps if we did an ending theme song or something from an OST, we could have a better shot. Any ideas?"
She sighed and then shrugged. "I like the Wolf's Rain CD*, or anything by Yoko Kanno*, really."
"I'll look into it." Hiromi jumped down from his perch and gathered up his jacket and her CD case, tucking both under his arm. "Oh, and hey, just so you know, according to my parents, I'm not allowed to drive the motorcycle until our senior year. Does that bother you too much?"
She shrugged. "Nah. The senior year is the last one anyway. Might as well make it better. I'll just get my brother to give me the ride to school every morning."
Hiromi grinned at her mischievously, a twinkle in his deep, brown eyes as he turned to leave. "Bonnie," he remarked happily, "you are SO easy to work with. Ryoko and I entered a contest once, and she had to have everything just perfect. In the end, she stood me up and never showed when it was time for our number. Turns out she had 'forgotten'. I know you're not like that though. Well, see ya!"
Bonnie couldn't help but tilt her head to the side and give a little contented sigh along with a quirky smile. The genuine warmth that was always in Hiromi's voice was not to be found anywhere else, and she enjoyed being with him.
It almost made her forget about Farfarfello.
~~~~~
"I'm really worried about him though," complained Ken, harshly stroking his broom across the floor to gather up spilled soil. "I am not just whining!"
"Hn." Aya didn't acknowledge the brunette anymore than he had been in the last ten minutes.
"Sounded like whining to me!" grunted Yohji, leaning lazily over the sales counter on his elbows, his shoulder pressed to Bonnie's as he tipped slightly towards her in exhaustion. He hadn't come home until three in the morning, having been at a wild party, and in turn had been forced to work the early shift. Bonnie was a bit uncomfortable with this close proximity, but said nothing, lest Yohji tease her again. She HATED it when he did that, for he always seemed to be the one to get the better of her with his witty comments. Who would've thought Yohji could be witty? Especially only with her?
"Yohji, get off Bonnie," commanded Omi cheerfully, coming out from the storage room and tying on his apron. "I have to talk to her, so I'm taking your shift. You can have mine this afternoon."
Yohji saluted the young man with a goofy smile and sauntered on out the door, yawning sleepily.
"Bonnie," Omi now approached her, taking Yohji's place but keeping his distance as his hands went to work at a bouquet the other man had been supposed to put together. "Farfarfello is cutting himself again. Crawford doesn't even know how to stop it. Nagi wanted me to talk to you about since he has classes at the moment."
Bonnie lifted one shoulder in a weary shrug, looking at him apologetically. "When he found out I'm Christian, he just wouldn't see me anymore. It's like, when we started to pray a few nights ago, he had this terrible episode and just panicked. Ran straight out of the room."
"You're fortunate he did not turn violent," Aya spoke up in a quiet voice, rising from his kneeling position by the store window, which he had been cleaning. His hands brushed gently at the few specks of dirt on his apron while his amethyst eyes trained on Bonnie's hazel ones. "Farfarfello seems to have more scars then you can see."
"You mean, like, emotional scars?"
"Yes. I cannot believe Crawford did not warn you."
"He sorta did," she admitted guiltily, bowing her head. "But believe me, nothing stops my family from praying at dinner..."
Aya smiled, his lips curving so slightly that it was almost invisible. There was an almost wry look in his eyes. "Same with Aya-chan."
Bonnie giggled. Aya-chan was also Christian, currently in the process of trying to restore her brother's belief in God when visiting from college. Bonnie had only met her a few times, but she was very nice, and very persuasive. Already Aya was bending ever so slightly under her influence, and Bonnie even spotted him at her father's church every now and then, hiding out in the back and trying not to be noticed.
"Hey," Ken interrupted her thoughts, "you know your friend from school - the American?"
"Megan? What about her?"
"I went up to my apartment last night, the one I share with Farf, and there she was. The two of them were sitting on the floor and watching a movie. Did you know they were hanging out?"
"No!" Bonnie exclaimed, the shock evident in her voice. "I - I had no idea! I never even introduced them! How did they meet?!"
Ken shook his head, shaggy hair falling into his eyes. "Don't even ask me. I have no idea. But really, the two of them are morbid together. You should really do something." He then turned away as a female customer approached him, complimenting him on his toned build and tanned skin.
Omi, meanwhile, had slipped Bonnie a piece of paper. "This is Farfarfello's Internet profile. I wrote down a poem he has in there. Thought you might like to see."
Bonnie nodded appreciatively and ducked her head to quickly scan the neat scrawl.
"I cut myself because it lets me know I am real. The pain is absent just like the happiness in my life, but the blood is bright against my pale skin like the white-hot depression is against the backdrop of my dark infested world. People care too much - they shouldn't. Distance yourself from me because it's all I want. Please now, leave me alone, and you won't get hurt. I don't want you to get hurt. My suffering is something I must now bear alone."
She bit her lip. Obviously, he had begun to care about people again, just like Jei, but it had backfired. Now he thought that caring too much was only bringing others' pain. "I need to talk to him," she muttered, crumpling up the paper and stuffing it in her pocket.
~~~~~
That night, she dialed Farfarfello's number and waited for him to pick up. Eventually he did, sounding dizzy and in pain when he said hello. His voice was constricted and broke mid-word, and he was breathing heavily. It scared her. What was he doing over there?
"Hey," she said softly. "It's Bonnie. I just wanted to say that I'm sorry that we're not talking and I miss you. I really do. Um...is it just because I'm Christian? Why can't you be friends with me regardless?"
He was still sounding sickly, gasping for breath. "Bonnie," he whispered. "I really don't feel good now... I think I cut a little too deep. Deeper than I have ever cut before." He paused and waited for her reaction, but when he received none, he continued once more. "It's just...I've never felt pain before, and I can feel it now... It's a different sort of pain, and it makes me feel sick inside. What have you done to me, Bonnie? Why can't I get the same sort of pleasure from this as I used to?"
His voice was so sad, so forlorn, that she felt a tear roll down her cheek. "Farfarfello," she choked out, "don't cut yourself. Please. Do you need me to come over? Do you need help?"
"Ken already found me. I'm bandaged up and under surveillance. Crawford's just on a bathroom break..."
"I read your Internet profile. It sounded like you wrote it for someone other than yourself."
His voice was low. "I don't know if I should tell you."
"Oh, ok..."
"Wait. Hold on." There was the sound of him shifting a little, and then he came back, speaking softly. "Ok. I have a friend - they found out I've been cutting myself, so they started it too. I'm worried."
"Do you want to talk about it? It might make you feel better."
"Bonnie, I really like ye, but it's too much. It's just too much." He sighed heavily. "Please. Don't try to preach to me. I know that is where this is going."
"I do it because I care," she replied, sniffling.
"I know. I know you care. Maybe it'd be better if no one cared. If she didn't care, this wouldn't have happened to her. Caring only causes suffering. It's best not to care."
"Farfello, I care about you. You can't make me stop."
"We should talk, Bonnie."
"Yes. Come to the flower shop tomorrow. My mom won't let me be anywhere alone with you after the dinner show."
"Alright."
And they hung up.
~~~~~
The following Monday, Bonnie slid into her study hall seat beside Megan, smiling brightly at the downcast girl. "Hey, you ok?"
"Yeah," she said softly. "Just really hot." For some reason, Megan was wearing a dark turtleneck while Bonnie herself was feeling a bit overheated in the summer version of their uniforms, a light T-shirt and skirt. The weather was not only warm, but unusually humid.
"Well, why did you wear that?" demanded Bonnie, chuckling softly.
"I dunno. Only thing clean, I guess." Megan chose at that moment to raise her arms above her head and yawn, one of her sleeves slipping down to reveal a nasty gash healing just below her wrist.
Suddenly, it clicked in Bonnie's mind and she gasped. Megan was Farfarfello's friend. The friend that cut herself.
~~~~~
Alright, first of all, Wolf's Rain is a new anime about four wolves who disguise themselves as humans and go looking for paradise. It's a darker anime and better than it sounds, and the funny thing is, the four guys are just like the Weiss guys. Kiba is the leader, strong and silent, and Hige is the flirt who loves women and food and doing whatever he wants when he wants. Toboe is just like Omi, the youngest one in the group - niave and cute and just generally nice. And Tsume... Tsume is nothing like Ken, because he's a hot-tempered loner, but still, the others are really close. Anyhow, it has awesome music done by Yoko Kanno, who did all the Cowboy Bebop music, along with the soundtracks for Ghost in the Shell, Escaflowne, and Jin-Roh (spelling??). She does everything - rock, pop, techno, jazz, and she even makes bluegrass sound good. Her songs are inspirational, she's great and I love her! If anyone would like to hear what her stuff sounds like, e-mail me and I'll direct you to a great discography.
Well, on another note, please REVIEW and tell me what YOU THINK. I love all you guys who review!! Haha. I'll try update soon again.
Lady Shadow-san: Thank you for all your reviews! Please, keep on reading and reviewing. I really hope you like this chapter too. Oh, and how is your picture coming along??
Kamazova: Thanks for being so loyal and checking to see if I updated!! I feel special now ^_^ Hopefully, you'll be checking up on this chapter too! Oh, and thank you for saying you approve of the Christian influence in one of your earlier reviews. I know some people probably have a problem with that - it's good you're not one of them.
Heaven Star: You were right - why didn't Brad warn them?? Just another hole in the story I got to patch up in this chapter! Thank you for pointing that out - you're one of my most faithful reviewers for this story. Keep up the good work!
Misura: Thank you for all your reviews! But you didn't review chapter eight!! *cries* Are you still reading?? I hope so!!
~~~~~
Hiromi buried his head into his hands and collapsed into a sitting position at the edge of the gym's stage, groaning in aggravation. Bonnie watched the sophomore from where she stood slightly below, toying with a strand of her hair and feeling the sting of defeat herself. For a while, the two said nothing, too exhausted from pushing their brains to produce an idea for their song that was realistic, but none had been conceived.
"This is harder than I thought," he finally admitted, lifting chocolate brown eyes to meet hers. "It seems the song I picked won't work for the selections you brought me, so I'm gonna have to change it. Perhaps you have a song that already has a little English or Spanish or anything in it?"
She pouted, disappointed at once again having to admit she was clueless. "Let's just make up our own song by combining all mine!" she said, thoroughly frustrated.
Hiromi threw his hands up. "That was the original plan, remember? It doesn't work!"
"We can make it!"
They glared in determination at one another a few moments before he lowered his head in defeat. "Alright. Let me borrow your CD's again and I'll work something out. A small hint though, Bonnie. One of the judges, the youngest one, is an anime freak - which genre he leans to I have no idea. Perhaps if we did an ending theme song or something from an OST, we could have a better shot. Any ideas?"
She sighed and then shrugged. "I like the Wolf's Rain CD*, or anything by Yoko Kanno*, really."
"I'll look into it." Hiromi jumped down from his perch and gathered up his jacket and her CD case, tucking both under his arm. "Oh, and hey, just so you know, according to my parents, I'm not allowed to drive the motorcycle until our senior year. Does that bother you too much?"
She shrugged. "Nah. The senior year is the last one anyway. Might as well make it better. I'll just get my brother to give me the ride to school every morning."
Hiromi grinned at her mischievously, a twinkle in his deep, brown eyes as he turned to leave. "Bonnie," he remarked happily, "you are SO easy to work with. Ryoko and I entered a contest once, and she had to have everything just perfect. In the end, she stood me up and never showed when it was time for our number. Turns out she had 'forgotten'. I know you're not like that though. Well, see ya!"
Bonnie couldn't help but tilt her head to the side and give a little contented sigh along with a quirky smile. The genuine warmth that was always in Hiromi's voice was not to be found anywhere else, and she enjoyed being with him.
It almost made her forget about Farfarfello.
~~~~~
"I'm really worried about him though," complained Ken, harshly stroking his broom across the floor to gather up spilled soil. "I am not just whining!"
"Hn." Aya didn't acknowledge the brunette anymore than he had been in the last ten minutes.
"Sounded like whining to me!" grunted Yohji, leaning lazily over the sales counter on his elbows, his shoulder pressed to Bonnie's as he tipped slightly towards her in exhaustion. He hadn't come home until three in the morning, having been at a wild party, and in turn had been forced to work the early shift. Bonnie was a bit uncomfortable with this close proximity, but said nothing, lest Yohji tease her again. She HATED it when he did that, for he always seemed to be the one to get the better of her with his witty comments. Who would've thought Yohji could be witty? Especially only with her?
"Yohji, get off Bonnie," commanded Omi cheerfully, coming out from the storage room and tying on his apron. "I have to talk to her, so I'm taking your shift. You can have mine this afternoon."
Yohji saluted the young man with a goofy smile and sauntered on out the door, yawning sleepily.
"Bonnie," Omi now approached her, taking Yohji's place but keeping his distance as his hands went to work at a bouquet the other man had been supposed to put together. "Farfarfello is cutting himself again. Crawford doesn't even know how to stop it. Nagi wanted me to talk to you about since he has classes at the moment."
Bonnie lifted one shoulder in a weary shrug, looking at him apologetically. "When he found out I'm Christian, he just wouldn't see me anymore. It's like, when we started to pray a few nights ago, he had this terrible episode and just panicked. Ran straight out of the room."
"You're fortunate he did not turn violent," Aya spoke up in a quiet voice, rising from his kneeling position by the store window, which he had been cleaning. His hands brushed gently at the few specks of dirt on his apron while his amethyst eyes trained on Bonnie's hazel ones. "Farfarfello seems to have more scars then you can see."
"You mean, like, emotional scars?"
"Yes. I cannot believe Crawford did not warn you."
"He sorta did," she admitted guiltily, bowing her head. "But believe me, nothing stops my family from praying at dinner..."
Aya smiled, his lips curving so slightly that it was almost invisible. There was an almost wry look in his eyes. "Same with Aya-chan."
Bonnie giggled. Aya-chan was also Christian, currently in the process of trying to restore her brother's belief in God when visiting from college. Bonnie had only met her a few times, but she was very nice, and very persuasive. Already Aya was bending ever so slightly under her influence, and Bonnie even spotted him at her father's church every now and then, hiding out in the back and trying not to be noticed.
"Hey," Ken interrupted her thoughts, "you know your friend from school - the American?"
"Megan? What about her?"
"I went up to my apartment last night, the one I share with Farf, and there she was. The two of them were sitting on the floor and watching a movie. Did you know they were hanging out?"
"No!" Bonnie exclaimed, the shock evident in her voice. "I - I had no idea! I never even introduced them! How did they meet?!"
Ken shook his head, shaggy hair falling into his eyes. "Don't even ask me. I have no idea. But really, the two of them are morbid together. You should really do something." He then turned away as a female customer approached him, complimenting him on his toned build and tanned skin.
Omi, meanwhile, had slipped Bonnie a piece of paper. "This is Farfarfello's Internet profile. I wrote down a poem he has in there. Thought you might like to see."
Bonnie nodded appreciatively and ducked her head to quickly scan the neat scrawl.
"I cut myself because it lets me know I am real. The pain is absent just like the happiness in my life, but the blood is bright against my pale skin like the white-hot depression is against the backdrop of my dark infested world. People care too much - they shouldn't. Distance yourself from me because it's all I want. Please now, leave me alone, and you won't get hurt. I don't want you to get hurt. My suffering is something I must now bear alone."
She bit her lip. Obviously, he had begun to care about people again, just like Jei, but it had backfired. Now he thought that caring too much was only bringing others' pain. "I need to talk to him," she muttered, crumpling up the paper and stuffing it in her pocket.
~~~~~
That night, she dialed Farfarfello's number and waited for him to pick up. Eventually he did, sounding dizzy and in pain when he said hello. His voice was constricted and broke mid-word, and he was breathing heavily. It scared her. What was he doing over there?
"Hey," she said softly. "It's Bonnie. I just wanted to say that I'm sorry that we're not talking and I miss you. I really do. Um...is it just because I'm Christian? Why can't you be friends with me regardless?"
He was still sounding sickly, gasping for breath. "Bonnie," he whispered. "I really don't feel good now... I think I cut a little too deep. Deeper than I have ever cut before." He paused and waited for her reaction, but when he received none, he continued once more. "It's just...I've never felt pain before, and I can feel it now... It's a different sort of pain, and it makes me feel sick inside. What have you done to me, Bonnie? Why can't I get the same sort of pleasure from this as I used to?"
His voice was so sad, so forlorn, that she felt a tear roll down her cheek. "Farfarfello," she choked out, "don't cut yourself. Please. Do you need me to come over? Do you need help?"
"Ken already found me. I'm bandaged up and under surveillance. Crawford's just on a bathroom break..."
"I read your Internet profile. It sounded like you wrote it for someone other than yourself."
His voice was low. "I don't know if I should tell you."
"Oh, ok..."
"Wait. Hold on." There was the sound of him shifting a little, and then he came back, speaking softly. "Ok. I have a friend - they found out I've been cutting myself, so they started it too. I'm worried."
"Do you want to talk about it? It might make you feel better."
"Bonnie, I really like ye, but it's too much. It's just too much." He sighed heavily. "Please. Don't try to preach to me. I know that is where this is going."
"I do it because I care," she replied, sniffling.
"I know. I know you care. Maybe it'd be better if no one cared. If she didn't care, this wouldn't have happened to her. Caring only causes suffering. It's best not to care."
"Farfello, I care about you. You can't make me stop."
"We should talk, Bonnie."
"Yes. Come to the flower shop tomorrow. My mom won't let me be anywhere alone with you after the dinner show."
"Alright."
And they hung up.
~~~~~
The following Monday, Bonnie slid into her study hall seat beside Megan, smiling brightly at the downcast girl. "Hey, you ok?"
"Yeah," she said softly. "Just really hot." For some reason, Megan was wearing a dark turtleneck while Bonnie herself was feeling a bit overheated in the summer version of their uniforms, a light T-shirt and skirt. The weather was not only warm, but unusually humid.
"Well, why did you wear that?" demanded Bonnie, chuckling softly.
"I dunno. Only thing clean, I guess." Megan chose at that moment to raise her arms above her head and yawn, one of her sleeves slipping down to reveal a nasty gash healing just below her wrist.
Suddenly, it clicked in Bonnie's mind and she gasped. Megan was Farfarfello's friend. The friend that cut herself.
~~~~~
Alright, first of all, Wolf's Rain is a new anime about four wolves who disguise themselves as humans and go looking for paradise. It's a darker anime and better than it sounds, and the funny thing is, the four guys are just like the Weiss guys. Kiba is the leader, strong and silent, and Hige is the flirt who loves women and food and doing whatever he wants when he wants. Toboe is just like Omi, the youngest one in the group - niave and cute and just generally nice. And Tsume... Tsume is nothing like Ken, because he's a hot-tempered loner, but still, the others are really close. Anyhow, it has awesome music done by Yoko Kanno, who did all the Cowboy Bebop music, along with the soundtracks for Ghost in the Shell, Escaflowne, and Jin-Roh (spelling??). She does everything - rock, pop, techno, jazz, and she even makes bluegrass sound good. Her songs are inspirational, she's great and I love her! If anyone would like to hear what her stuff sounds like, e-mail me and I'll direct you to a great discography.
Well, on another note, please REVIEW and tell me what YOU THINK. I love all you guys who review!! Haha. I'll try update soon again.