D, i, s, c, l, a, i, m, e, r: I, Lia, do not own Tekken. Ak.
A, u, t, h, o, r, s, n, o, t, e: If this fic offends you in anyway, I am sorry, this story is for entertainment purposes only, so sit back and enjoy the show!
Lia: Welcome Ladies and Gentlemen(some, that is...*eyes linger over the crowd*) to Sale of the Tekken, Chapter One. This Fic is based on sale of the century, the TV SHOW! I don't really like it THAT much but...oh well, meet the contestants! Okay, first we have Paul Phoenix, from the 80's, sniffs gasoline...
Paul: Hey!
Lia: Ak, ignore him. Anyway from China we have Ling Xiaoyu-
Xiaoyu: That's right! And I-
Lia: Shut-up Ling.
Xiaoyu: MY NAME IS NOT LING!!!*uses thundersrike on Lia*
Lia: *punches Xiaoyu in the nose*
Xiaoyu: OW! MY NOSE IS BROKEN!
Lia: *puts MissMacluffy'sSuperHoldStickyTape on Xiaoyu's mouth*Shut up. Anyway, our next contestant is Hwoarang, from South Korea. Blargh.
Hwoarang: What the hell does "blargh" mean? IS IT A THREAT??!!
Lia: Yes it is, Hwoarang, but don't worry, we can put you back to 1st grade if we like.
Crowd: *laughs*
Hwoarang: Grrr...
Lia: Here we have Julia Chang from Arizona...
Julia: ...
Lia: What?
Julia: ...
Xiaoyu: Mmmm Mm MMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!
Lia: What? You like my cooking?
Julia: ...
Hwoarang: Julia, can you speak?
Julia: ...
Paul: AAAAHHHHH!!!!! SHE'S 18 AND SHE CAN'T EVEN SPEAK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Julia: Geez, I was just-
Hwoarang: Oh wow. She can talk.
Xiaoyu: Mmmm Mmmm Mmmm!
Lia: Xiaoyu, it's not funny.
Julia: I thought it was.
Lia: WELL, IT ISN'T, OKAY????!!!*cries in a corner*
Julia, Xiaoyu, Hwoarang, Paul: Uh...
Lia: *Comes back* From Japan we have two people: Jin Kazama wearing the hooded jacket-
Jin: Tekken 4 'aint out yet, missy.
Paul: It's out in Arcade.
Jin: Yeah whatever.
Lia: *Clears throat*...and Jun Kazama! Wait, there's one more left...KAZUYA MISHIMA?????!!!!!
Jin: Oh crap. Not my dad.
Jun: Oh shit. Not my husband.
Kazuya: *cackles evilly*Hehe, that's right.
Crowd: AAAAAGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
Lia: Don't worry, for your safety we have brought...*truck comes in and dumps 1,000s of rolls of sticky tape*
Kazuya: Uh-oh.
Lia: HAHAHAHAHA! *tapes Kazuya to his chair*
Kazuya: Aw, c'mon! I'll give you $9,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999 if you get me out!
Lia: *eyes light up*Re-really?
Kazuya: Yep. Only if-
Lia: *dollar signs in her eyes* YYYYAAAAYYYYYY!!!!! PAY ME!!! PAY ME!!! PPPPPPAAAAAAYYYYYYYY MMMMMMEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Kazuya: *shoves money in Lia's hands* Here ya go, now get me out!
Lia: *put money in her briefcase*You never said anything about that!*evil grin*
Kazuya: Well I was going to!
Lia: Well, you're broke now.
Kazuya: Oh. Okay.
Lia: Now we also have Forrest Law, Marshall Law, Nina Williams, Lee Chaolan, Anna Williams, Michelle Chang and Gon.*they all walk in*
Lia: Okay, now before we start the game, here are the rules:
1. If you get a question wrong, you lose all your money! Yes, even the stuff in your pockets!
2. If you get a question right, you get a) 5 bucks for a normal question and b) 10 bucks for a "Who Am I?".
Kazuya: RIP-OFF!
Jin: TIGHT!
Lia: SHADDUP! Now, as I was saying...
3. Lia is the ruler of this fic.
4. If Kazuya smiles he is to be taken out and hit with a power-pole. Torture!*grins evilly at Kazuya*
5. If Xiaoyu doesn't shut-up(for once!) she is to bend over and smacked like a baby on the bottom with a peice of frozen bacon.
6. If Julia shows us her frilly undies she is be slapped on the face with a trout.
7. If Anna acts like the bitch she is, she must be taken out and come back with an ugly makeover.
Nina: *rolls on the floor, laughing*
Lia:
8. Nina is NOT allowed to kill Xiaoyu in the middle of the game/fic. If so she is to be command to shoot herself in the head.
9. Kazuya is NOT allowed to show everyone his scary red eye and laceration wounds...ESPECIALLY the photo of his corpse!(What he's like now is just as bad!)
And finally, 10. If anyone shows off their skills on me, they're gonna be constantly beaten with scorpios.
Kazuya: What if they bit us??!!
Lia: That's the whole idea!
Kazuya: Oh.
Lia: NOW ON WITH THE GAME YOU CREEPS! All question are tekken related. Question 1-What is Heihachi's favourite piece of clothing?
Jin: Easy! He's my grandad!
*beep*
Lia: Yes Hwoarang?
Jin: WHAT THE HELL????!!!!! I pressed it first!
Lia: Shut up! Hwoarang?
Hwoarang: Huggies! The best nappies for 2 year-olds!
Lia: Correct!
Hwoarang: WooHoo!!!
Jin: Grrr.....
Lia: Hwoarang now has five points, the rest zero...Question 2-What is Anna?
*beep*
Anna: *sigh...*I'm-I'm a bitch.
Nina: Haha! She admits it! She's a bitch!
Anna: Grr...
Lee: Grr...
Anna: Are you copying me?
Lee: Are you copying me?
Anna: Stop it!
Lee: *in a very girlish voice*Stop it!
Anna: I SAID STOP IT!
Lee: I SAID STOP IT!
Lia: SHUT-UP!
Anna: Er
Lee: HUMPH! I hate Anna! *cries then stops crying*
Lia: Lee, you flooded the bloody place!
Lee: Er...sorry.
Lia: It's Okay!^^*hugs Lee*
Crowd: Aww!!!
Lia: SECURITY!*security come in and whack the crowd on the face*That's better. Now on to Question 3-what does Paul wash himself with?
*beep*
Lia: *removes Xiaoyu's sticky tape*
Xiaoyu: Umm, umm...let see, er, i guess... I GUESS GASOLINE!
Lia: Uh-oh. *puts tape back on Xiaoyu's lips*Correct...
Xiaoyu: MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*smiles happily*
Lia: We have the Blood Talon, High-spirited girl and Lightning Fartlet...I mean Scarlet on 5 points each. Question 4-What is Yoshimitsu's "Tekken Name"? Example, Fatal Lightning, Retalliating Female Ninja...
*beep*
Lia: *sigh* Yes Kazuya?
Kazuya: Retarded-Freakass-Freak? Heehee...Uh oh.*Kazuya realised that he's smiling and is soon grabbed by security*
Lia: *after Kazuya is knocked unconcious*WRONG! But you haven't got any money, either way I still would've had it, so there! The correct answer was "Mechanized Space Ninja". Question 5-Who is Christie Monteiro?
*beep*
Julia: Christie is the granddaughter of the Capoeira master who taught Eddy Gordo the art of Capoeira during his incarceration in prison.
Lia: CORRECT!
Julia: YAY!
Lia: Okay, now for a "Who Am I?"! Okay, here goes! You have 25 seconds. START!: I was born in South Korea and trained by my master who was named after one of the tallest mountains in Korea, Paektu San. My name means "Korean boy scout" or some crap like that. I joined the Korean Millitary force after Tekken3. I slipped out to join Tekken4. I am-
*beep*
Hwoarang: Me?
Lia: WRONG! The answer was "Hwoarang"!*pokes toungue out at Hwoarang*
Hwoarang: I thought that's what i said?
Lia: You said "me".
Hwoarang: Oh. Okay. HEY!*Hwoarang is nabbed and robbed and pinched and poked by security*
Lia: MONEY!*dollar signs in eyes as she recieves Hwoarang's money*YYYYAAAAYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hwoarang: Dammit! I'm BROKE!
*Hwoarang's score swithes from 5 to 0.*
Hwoarang: Grr...
Lia: Had enough fun already?
Kazuya: *concious and all pissed off* NO!
Lia: Okay, I'll be happy to make this chapter longer!^^
Kazuya: I mean, YES, hehe, heh...^^*giant anime sweatdrop*
Lia: Okay...
END OF CHAPTER ONE! Yes, finally! Coming soon to chapter 2:
Who will survive this treaturous game?
Will anyone survive?
Find out in Chapter 2, coming soon to a theatre near you, duh, duh, duh, DUH!!!!
A, u, t, h, o, r, s, n, o, t, e: If this fic offends you in anyway, I am sorry, this story is for entertainment purposes only, so sit back and enjoy the show!
Lia: Welcome Ladies and Gentlemen(some, that is...*eyes linger over the crowd*) to Sale of the Tekken, Chapter One. This Fic is based on sale of the century, the TV SHOW! I don't really like it THAT much but...oh well, meet the contestants! Okay, first we have Paul Phoenix, from the 80's, sniffs gasoline...
Paul: Hey!
Lia: Ak, ignore him. Anyway from China we have Ling Xiaoyu-
Xiaoyu: That's right! And I-
Lia: Shut-up Ling.
Xiaoyu: MY NAME IS NOT LING!!!*uses thundersrike on Lia*
Lia: *punches Xiaoyu in the nose*
Xiaoyu: OW! MY NOSE IS BROKEN!
Lia: *puts MissMacluffy'sSuperHoldStickyTape on Xiaoyu's mouth*Shut up. Anyway, our next contestant is Hwoarang, from South Korea. Blargh.
Hwoarang: What the hell does "blargh" mean? IS IT A THREAT??!!
Lia: Yes it is, Hwoarang, but don't worry, we can put you back to 1st grade if we like.
Crowd: *laughs*
Hwoarang: Grrr...
Lia: Here we have Julia Chang from Arizona...
Julia: ...
Lia: What?
Julia: ...
Xiaoyu: Mmmm Mm MMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!
Lia: What? You like my cooking?
Julia: ...
Hwoarang: Julia, can you speak?
Julia: ...
Paul: AAAAHHHHH!!!!! SHE'S 18 AND SHE CAN'T EVEN SPEAK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Julia: Geez, I was just-
Hwoarang: Oh wow. She can talk.
Xiaoyu: Mmmm Mmmm Mmmm!
Lia: Xiaoyu, it's not funny.
Julia: I thought it was.
Lia: WELL, IT ISN'T, OKAY????!!!*cries in a corner*
Julia, Xiaoyu, Hwoarang, Paul: Uh...
Lia: *Comes back* From Japan we have two people: Jin Kazama wearing the hooded jacket-
Jin: Tekken 4 'aint out yet, missy.
Paul: It's out in Arcade.
Jin: Yeah whatever.
Lia: *Clears throat*...and Jun Kazama! Wait, there's one more left...KAZUYA MISHIMA?????!!!!!
Jin: Oh crap. Not my dad.
Jun: Oh shit. Not my husband.
Kazuya: *cackles evilly*Hehe, that's right.
Crowd: AAAAAGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
Lia: Don't worry, for your safety we have brought...*truck comes in and dumps 1,000s of rolls of sticky tape*
Kazuya: Uh-oh.
Lia: HAHAHAHAHA! *tapes Kazuya to his chair*
Kazuya: Aw, c'mon! I'll give you $9,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999 if you get me out!
Lia: *eyes light up*Re-really?
Kazuya: Yep. Only if-
Lia: *dollar signs in her eyes* YYYYAAAAYYYYYY!!!!! PAY ME!!! PAY ME!!! PPPPPPAAAAAAYYYYYYYY MMMMMMEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Kazuya: *shoves money in Lia's hands* Here ya go, now get me out!
Lia: *put money in her briefcase*You never said anything about that!*evil grin*
Kazuya: Well I was going to!
Lia: Well, you're broke now.
Kazuya: Oh. Okay.
Lia: Now we also have Forrest Law, Marshall Law, Nina Williams, Lee Chaolan, Anna Williams, Michelle Chang and Gon.*they all walk in*
Lia: Okay, now before we start the game, here are the rules:
1. If you get a question wrong, you lose all your money! Yes, even the stuff in your pockets!
2. If you get a question right, you get a) 5 bucks for a normal question and b) 10 bucks for a "Who Am I?".
Kazuya: RIP-OFF!
Jin: TIGHT!
Lia: SHADDUP! Now, as I was saying...
3. Lia is the ruler of this fic.
4. If Kazuya smiles he is to be taken out and hit with a power-pole. Torture!*grins evilly at Kazuya*
5. If Xiaoyu doesn't shut-up(for once!) she is to bend over and smacked like a baby on the bottom with a peice of frozen bacon.
6. If Julia shows us her frilly undies she is be slapped on the face with a trout.
7. If Anna acts like the bitch she is, she must be taken out and come back with an ugly makeover.
Nina: *rolls on the floor, laughing*
Lia:
8. Nina is NOT allowed to kill Xiaoyu in the middle of the game/fic. If so she is to be command to shoot herself in the head.
9. Kazuya is NOT allowed to show everyone his scary red eye and laceration wounds...ESPECIALLY the photo of his corpse!(What he's like now is just as bad!)
And finally, 10. If anyone shows off their skills on me, they're gonna be constantly beaten with scorpios.
Kazuya: What if they bit us??!!
Lia: That's the whole idea!
Kazuya: Oh.
Lia: NOW ON WITH THE GAME YOU CREEPS! All question are tekken related. Question 1-What is Heihachi's favourite piece of clothing?
Jin: Easy! He's my grandad!
*beep*
Lia: Yes Hwoarang?
Jin: WHAT THE HELL????!!!!! I pressed it first!
Lia: Shut up! Hwoarang?
Hwoarang: Huggies! The best nappies for 2 year-olds!
Lia: Correct!
Hwoarang: WooHoo!!!
Jin: Grrr.....
Lia: Hwoarang now has five points, the rest zero...Question 2-What is Anna?
*beep*
Anna: *sigh...*I'm-I'm a bitch.
Nina: Haha! She admits it! She's a bitch!
Anna: Grr...
Lee: Grr...
Anna: Are you copying me?
Lee: Are you copying me?
Anna: Stop it!
Lee: *in a very girlish voice*Stop it!
Anna: I SAID STOP IT!
Lee: I SAID STOP IT!
Lia: SHUT-UP!
Anna: Er
Lee: HUMPH! I hate Anna! *cries then stops crying*
Lia: Lee, you flooded the bloody place!
Lee: Er...sorry.
Lia: It's Okay!^^*hugs Lee*
Crowd: Aww!!!
Lia: SECURITY!*security come in and whack the crowd on the face*That's better. Now on to Question 3-what does Paul wash himself with?
*beep*
Lia: *removes Xiaoyu's sticky tape*
Xiaoyu: Umm, umm...let see, er, i guess... I GUESS GASOLINE!
Lia: Uh-oh. *puts tape back on Xiaoyu's lips*Correct...
Xiaoyu: MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*smiles happily*
Lia: We have the Blood Talon, High-spirited girl and Lightning Fartlet...I mean Scarlet on 5 points each. Question 4-What is Yoshimitsu's "Tekken Name"? Example, Fatal Lightning, Retalliating Female Ninja...
*beep*
Lia: *sigh* Yes Kazuya?
Kazuya: Retarded-Freakass-Freak? Heehee...Uh oh.*Kazuya realised that he's smiling and is soon grabbed by security*
Lia: *after Kazuya is knocked unconcious*WRONG! But you haven't got any money, either way I still would've had it, so there! The correct answer was "Mechanized Space Ninja". Question 5-Who is Christie Monteiro?
*beep*
Julia: Christie is the granddaughter of the Capoeira master who taught Eddy Gordo the art of Capoeira during his incarceration in prison.
Lia: CORRECT!
Julia: YAY!
Lia: Okay, now for a "Who Am I?"! Okay, here goes! You have 25 seconds. START!: I was born in South Korea and trained by my master who was named after one of the tallest mountains in Korea, Paektu San. My name means "Korean boy scout" or some crap like that. I joined the Korean Millitary force after Tekken3. I slipped out to join Tekken4. I am-
*beep*
Hwoarang: Me?
Lia: WRONG! The answer was "Hwoarang"!*pokes toungue out at Hwoarang*
Hwoarang: I thought that's what i said?
Lia: You said "me".
Hwoarang: Oh. Okay. HEY!*Hwoarang is nabbed and robbed and pinched and poked by security*
Lia: MONEY!*dollar signs in eyes as she recieves Hwoarang's money*YYYYAAAAYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hwoarang: Dammit! I'm BROKE!
*Hwoarang's score swithes from 5 to 0.*
Hwoarang: Grr...
Lia: Had enough fun already?
Kazuya: *concious and all pissed off* NO!
Lia: Okay, I'll be happy to make this chapter longer!^^
Kazuya: I mean, YES, hehe, heh...^^*giant anime sweatdrop*
Lia: Okay...
END OF CHAPTER ONE! Yes, finally! Coming soon to chapter 2:
Who will survive this treaturous game?
Will anyone survive?
Find out in Chapter 2, coming soon to a theatre near you, duh, duh, duh, DUH!!!!