Yes, after a llloooonnngggg time i am BACK!
Oh, and I'm REALLY sorry to you guys who THOUGHT i was dissing Koreans. I really didn't mean to. I have absolutely nothing against them, in fact i think they're really cool! (Hwoarang is, even if he IS made up he's kinda cute! ;))
*~Ads!~*
Director: Hey, Hwoarang! You're on!
Hwoarang: What the hell? Why the *beep* am I wearing a red dress with an apron, shiny black cuvkle shoes, loads of make-up and WHY EXACTLY is my hair curled?
Producer: Stop wasting time!
Director: Yeah! *puches hwoarang onstage*
Hwoarang: Uh...*ckears throat* It's the hard-knock LIFE *a window smashes* for US! It's the hard-knock LIFE FOR US!!!!! *five windows smash* Steda-treated WE get TRICKED! *smash* Steda- kisses WE get KICKED! *smash *crash* *break* It's the hard-knock *building starts to shake* LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *auditorium colapses*
julia: Encore! Encore!
Dr. B: Oh no...my head!
Jin: BOO!! *throws tomatoes, carrots, frozen bacon, and...the good ol' celery!*
Hwoarang: *munches on celery*
Arwen: There is still hope...
Voice-Over: Evil is stirring in middle-Earth...
Sam: It's the ring.
Frodo: It's getting heavier...
Legolas: YIKES!
Aragorn: SHADDUP! I'm trying to watch a MOVIE here!
Legolas: Sorry.
Voice-over: You wanted it...you got it! A behind-the-scenes film of your favourite Lord of the Rings characters have reunited just for your viewing pleasure!
Gimli: *burps*
Eowyn: Mind your manners, master Dwarf!
Grima: Hey sexay...
Eowyn: AAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! GET HIM AWAY!!!!!!!!
Voice-Over: The lord of the RIngs: PARTAY BASH! Available on DVD and Video on August the 17th (My birthday!!!) 2003.
Grima: So...d'ya still wanna go out with me?
**SLAP**
bubbles: Hi, I'm Bubbles, and did you know you can get a free PPG backpack for only 2 cents!
Buttercup: RIP-OFF!!!!!!
Bubbles: Shut up Buttercup I'm trying to meditate!
Blossom: *like a retard* Metation!
Buttercup: Right...
Bubbles: Anyway, as i was SAYING...*death glare to Buttercup* You can also get a free Cap with the purchase of you 10th bag! How COOL is that??!!
Buttercup: You SO did not say that!
Blossom: Metation! (yes i'm deliberately spelling it wrong)
Bubbles: Grr...You're just jealous 'cos I got the main part in the commercial!
Buttercup: Am not!
Bubbles: Are too!
Buttercup: Am not!
Bubbles: ARE TOO!
Blossom: Metation!
Bubbles and Buttercup: SHUT UP BLOSSOM!
Blossom: *turns back to normal state* Oh. Okay.
*~End Commercils!~*
Steve: So please please PLEASE (!) can I compete!
Lia: Oh fine, but you'll probably regret it sooner or later.
Steve: Yay! Thanks, mate!
Security dude: Hey! You're on!
Lia: Okay! lights, camera, ACTION!
*corny music plays*
Lia: Welcome back to the show! We have a new contest, Steve Fox, who is from...um, I actually forgot!
Christie: Like, Where's That?!
Lia: And here he is!
**Steve falls on stage**
Xiaoyu: KABANG!
Lia: Hey, you're back!
Xiaoyu: I know! *huge grin*
Lia: *tapes Xiaoyu's mouth*
Xiaoyu: Mmmo! (Translation: D'Oh!)
Julia: Haha...
Jin: Hwoarang STOP eating that celery from the Annie commercial!
Hwoarang: *hides celery behind his back* Wfhat shelvy?
Jin: Haha! The evidence is in your mouth!
Hwoarang: *opens mouth wide*
Audience: EEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Lia: SHADDUP!
Audience: Okay.
Lia: Okay Steve, I don't have time to explain the rules, you'll figure it out if you watch.
Steve: Kay.
Lia: Oh, and all questions are Tekken-Related. And if you hurt me you die. Alright?
Steve: *gulp* Okay. (thinking) Man she is scary!
Lia: Question 1 - Who killed Heihachi Mishima?
Steve: Heihachi's DEAD?!
LIa: Yes, Christie?
Christie: Like, Forrest Law!
Lia: Correctamundo!
Kazuya: Correctamundo? Haha! *gets hit by the pole*
Steve: Is he dead?
Lia: No, just knocked out.
Steve: Oh. Right...
Lia: Question 2 - Which Tekken character likes Jerry from Tom and Jerry?
*beep*
Lia: Um...yes Anna?
Anna: Uh...what was the question again? *gets robbed*
Lia: You should've known, Anna! It was YOU!
Nina: Yeah, but she's too thick to realise.
Lia: I know.
Xiaoyu: Mmmikes! Mmmi Mmee Mill Mmmere? (Yikes! Is she still here?)
Nina: Yep. *shoots xiaoyu. Xiaoyu dies*
Xiaoyu: Awww not again.
Lia: Bring her back! *Xiaoyu comes back* Nina, shoot yourself in the head!
Nina: *shoots herself in the head* I'll never die! Which means I can kill Xiaoyu anytime now!
Lia: Really?
Nina: Yep! *stabs Xiaoyu, she dies but doesn't come back* Now to show how INVINCIBLE I am! *shoots herself in the head and falls down*
Kazuya: I think she's dead now.
Lia: Yep. Hehe...
Anna: What did you do to my sister?
Lia: *holds up an electronic gadget with only one button on it* When I press this button, Nina becomes invincable. But when I press it again...
Christie: ...She's uninvincable!
Lia: Um...yeah....
Michelle: How d'you know that?
Christie: I'm...PSYCHIC!
Jun: OH MY GOD.
Jin: Chill out, Mum!
Julia: Chill out, watcha yellin' for? Lay back, it's all been done before! And if you could only let it be, you will see...
lia: Shut-Up Julia!
Michelle: Don't you DARE tell my daughter to shut-up!
Julia: Actually, you're not my biologic mum. I was abandoned as a baby, and your tribe found me and you raised me as your own daughter.
Michelle: *sniff* how did you find out? *sniff* i wanted to tell you, as mother-daughter thing, yanno?
julia: NO! *falls off again and shows her frilly undies* uh-oh! *security comes in a slaps Julia on the face with a trout*
Lia: Question 3 - In between which two tournaments was the Tekken Motion picture set in?
*beep*
Jun: Well, it was when I had Jin and I kicked Devil's ass, so um Tekken 2 and 3.
Lia: Correct! Jun is in the lead with 15 points!
Jin: You're so smart, Mum!
Jun: Thanks honey.
Lia: One last question before we go to the "Who Am I". Question 4 - Who won the first Iron Fist tournament?
*ding-a-ling*
Julia: What the hell is that?!
Lia: it's a bell.
Hwoarang: What happened to the "Beep" sound, anyway?
Lia: It's been packaged and shipped off to my house in Australia. Now, what were you saying, Forrest?
Forrest: Kazuya Mishima?
Lia: Correct! You're on 5 points.
Forrest: Woo-Hoo!
Lia: Now for the "Who am I"...time starts NOW! I was born in South America. My parents were killed, and so I set off to the Iron Fist Tournament for Revenge. One year after the tournament I found an abandoned baby and took her as my own. I passed onto her the pendant that controls Ogre. I am...
*ding-a-ling*
Hwoarang: Michelle?
Lia: Yes! Correct! Hwoarang recieves 10 points!
Hwoarang: Cool! *munches celery* Wanna here my song?
Lia: Uh...okay...
Hwoarang: Well, it's not actually MY song cos Weird Al Yankovic sings and it's my fave and I know all the words to it. Some words are in Yiddish, so...
Audience Member: JUST GO!
Hwoarang: Okay, here goes...
Veren zol fun dir a blintsa
(How ya doin' Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey
(How ya doin' Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey
(How ya doin' Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey
And all the goyim say I'm pretty fly for a rabbi
Meccha leccha hi, meccha hiney hiney ho
Our temple's had a fair share of rabbis in the past
But most of 'em were nudniks and none of 'em would last
But our new guy's real kosher, I think he'll do the trick
I tell ya, he's to dies for - he really knows his shtick
So how's by you? Have you seen this Jew?
Reads the Torah, does his own accounting too
Workin' like a dog at the synagogue
He's there all day, he's there all day
Just say "Vay iz mir!" and he'll kick into gear
He'll bring you lots of cheer and maybe bagels with some shmeer
Just grab your yarmulka and
Hey! Hey! Do that Hebrew thing!
(How ya doin' Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey
(How ya doin' Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey
(How ya doin' Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey
And all the goyim say I'm pretty fly (for a rabbi)
He shops at discount stores, not just any will sufice
He has to find a bargain 'cause he won't pay retail price
He never acts meshugga and he's hardly a schlemiel
But if you wanna haggle, oy, he'll make you such a deal!
People used to scoff, now they say "Mazel tov!"
He's such a macher 'cause he worked his tuchis off
Yeah, he keeps his cool and teaches shul
What's not to like? What's not to like?
On high holy days, you know he prays and prays
And he never eats pastrami on white breath with mayonnaise
Put on your yarmulka and
Hey! Hey! Do that Hebrew thing!
When he's doing a Bar Mitzvah, now that you shouldn't miss
He'll always shlep on down for a wedding or a briss
They say he's got a lot of chutzpah, he's really quite hhhhhip
The parents pay the moyl and he gets to keep the tip
(How ya doin' Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey
(How ya doin' Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey
(How ya doin' Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey
Meccha leccha hi, meccha meccha cholly ho
He's doin' well, I gotta kvell
The yentas love him, even shicksas think he's swell
Show up at his home, he says "Shalom"
And "Have some cake - you want some cake?"
Yah, he calls the shots, we really love him lots
Oy gevalt, I'm so ferklempt that I could plotz
So grab your yarmulka
The one you got for Chanukah
Let's put on our yarmulkas and
Hey! Hey! Do that Hebrew thing!
(NOTE: This song really IS sung by Al Yankovic. I didn't write it!)
Julia: You're so weird...and anyway, why do you like celery so much?
Hwoarang: Well, it's kind of a long story...when I was born, I had half a brain missing-
Kazuya: I knew it!
Hwoarang: ...and so the docters replaced it with a celery stick. Somehow it malfunctioned and grew into my brain, creating my obsession for celery. Wanna see the stitches?
Lia: Uhh...no thanks. Any way, tahnks for watching Sale of the Tekken! We'll be back after the commercials with Round Four! G'bye! (to cameraman) Commercials!
*************************************************************************************
I know, this chapter's really weird and it went really slowly...but atleast you were told how come Christie's so weird, Hwoarang like celery, and you should know why I never stop talking...if you dont well it's because i'm the HOST. Hosts talk alot. Oh, and I included Steve (who's a new guy in Tekken 4) for the person who wanted to know more about the new characters in T4, but I couldn't be bothered to introduce Craig (actually I forgot! *slacko*), so um yeah...stay tuned for Chapter Three!
Flames will be ignored and used to cook marshmallows.
Constructive criticism is allowed, as long as it's not too offensive or harsh.
Oh, and I'm REALLY sorry to you guys who THOUGHT i was dissing Koreans. I really didn't mean to. I have absolutely nothing against them, in fact i think they're really cool! (Hwoarang is, even if he IS made up he's kinda cute! ;))
*~Ads!~*
Director: Hey, Hwoarang! You're on!
Hwoarang: What the hell? Why the *beep* am I wearing a red dress with an apron, shiny black cuvkle shoes, loads of make-up and WHY EXACTLY is my hair curled?
Producer: Stop wasting time!
Director: Yeah! *puches hwoarang onstage*
Hwoarang: Uh...*ckears throat* It's the hard-knock LIFE *a window smashes* for US! It's the hard-knock LIFE FOR US!!!!! *five windows smash* Steda-treated WE get TRICKED! *smash* Steda- kisses WE get KICKED! *smash *crash* *break* It's the hard-knock *building starts to shake* LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *auditorium colapses*
julia: Encore! Encore!
Dr. B: Oh no...my head!
Jin: BOO!! *throws tomatoes, carrots, frozen bacon, and...the good ol' celery!*
Hwoarang: *munches on celery*
Arwen: There is still hope...
Voice-Over: Evil is stirring in middle-Earth...
Sam: It's the ring.
Frodo: It's getting heavier...
Legolas: YIKES!
Aragorn: SHADDUP! I'm trying to watch a MOVIE here!
Legolas: Sorry.
Voice-over: You wanted it...you got it! A behind-the-scenes film of your favourite Lord of the Rings characters have reunited just for your viewing pleasure!
Gimli: *burps*
Eowyn: Mind your manners, master Dwarf!
Grima: Hey sexay...
Eowyn: AAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! GET HIM AWAY!!!!!!!!
Voice-Over: The lord of the RIngs: PARTAY BASH! Available on DVD and Video on August the 17th (My birthday!!!) 2003.
Grima: So...d'ya still wanna go out with me?
**SLAP**
bubbles: Hi, I'm Bubbles, and did you know you can get a free PPG backpack for only 2 cents!
Buttercup: RIP-OFF!!!!!!
Bubbles: Shut up Buttercup I'm trying to meditate!
Blossom: *like a retard* Metation!
Buttercup: Right...
Bubbles: Anyway, as i was SAYING...*death glare to Buttercup* You can also get a free Cap with the purchase of you 10th bag! How COOL is that??!!
Buttercup: You SO did not say that!
Blossom: Metation! (yes i'm deliberately spelling it wrong)
Bubbles: Grr...You're just jealous 'cos I got the main part in the commercial!
Buttercup: Am not!
Bubbles: Are too!
Buttercup: Am not!
Bubbles: ARE TOO!
Blossom: Metation!
Bubbles and Buttercup: SHUT UP BLOSSOM!
Blossom: *turns back to normal state* Oh. Okay.
*~End Commercils!~*
Steve: So please please PLEASE (!) can I compete!
Lia: Oh fine, but you'll probably regret it sooner or later.
Steve: Yay! Thanks, mate!
Security dude: Hey! You're on!
Lia: Okay! lights, camera, ACTION!
*corny music plays*
Lia: Welcome back to the show! We have a new contest, Steve Fox, who is from...um, I actually forgot!
Christie: Like, Where's That?!
Lia: And here he is!
**Steve falls on stage**
Xiaoyu: KABANG!
Lia: Hey, you're back!
Xiaoyu: I know! *huge grin*
Lia: *tapes Xiaoyu's mouth*
Xiaoyu: Mmmo! (Translation: D'Oh!)
Julia: Haha...
Jin: Hwoarang STOP eating that celery from the Annie commercial!
Hwoarang: *hides celery behind his back* Wfhat shelvy?
Jin: Haha! The evidence is in your mouth!
Hwoarang: *opens mouth wide*
Audience: EEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Lia: SHADDUP!
Audience: Okay.
Lia: Okay Steve, I don't have time to explain the rules, you'll figure it out if you watch.
Steve: Kay.
Lia: Oh, and all questions are Tekken-Related. And if you hurt me you die. Alright?
Steve: *gulp* Okay. (thinking) Man she is scary!
Lia: Question 1 - Who killed Heihachi Mishima?
Steve: Heihachi's DEAD?!
LIa: Yes, Christie?
Christie: Like, Forrest Law!
Lia: Correctamundo!
Kazuya: Correctamundo? Haha! *gets hit by the pole*
Steve: Is he dead?
Lia: No, just knocked out.
Steve: Oh. Right...
Lia: Question 2 - Which Tekken character likes Jerry from Tom and Jerry?
*beep*
Lia: Um...yes Anna?
Anna: Uh...what was the question again? *gets robbed*
Lia: You should've known, Anna! It was YOU!
Nina: Yeah, but she's too thick to realise.
Lia: I know.
Xiaoyu: Mmmikes! Mmmi Mmee Mill Mmmere? (Yikes! Is she still here?)
Nina: Yep. *shoots xiaoyu. Xiaoyu dies*
Xiaoyu: Awww not again.
Lia: Bring her back! *Xiaoyu comes back* Nina, shoot yourself in the head!
Nina: *shoots herself in the head* I'll never die! Which means I can kill Xiaoyu anytime now!
Lia: Really?
Nina: Yep! *stabs Xiaoyu, she dies but doesn't come back* Now to show how INVINCIBLE I am! *shoots herself in the head and falls down*
Kazuya: I think she's dead now.
Lia: Yep. Hehe...
Anna: What did you do to my sister?
Lia: *holds up an electronic gadget with only one button on it* When I press this button, Nina becomes invincable. But when I press it again...
Christie: ...She's uninvincable!
Lia: Um...yeah....
Michelle: How d'you know that?
Christie: I'm...PSYCHIC!
Jun: OH MY GOD.
Jin: Chill out, Mum!
Julia: Chill out, watcha yellin' for? Lay back, it's all been done before! And if you could only let it be, you will see...
lia: Shut-Up Julia!
Michelle: Don't you DARE tell my daughter to shut-up!
Julia: Actually, you're not my biologic mum. I was abandoned as a baby, and your tribe found me and you raised me as your own daughter.
Michelle: *sniff* how did you find out? *sniff* i wanted to tell you, as mother-daughter thing, yanno?
julia: NO! *falls off again and shows her frilly undies* uh-oh! *security comes in a slaps Julia on the face with a trout*
Lia: Question 3 - In between which two tournaments was the Tekken Motion picture set in?
*beep*
Jun: Well, it was when I had Jin and I kicked Devil's ass, so um Tekken 2 and 3.
Lia: Correct! Jun is in the lead with 15 points!
Jin: You're so smart, Mum!
Jun: Thanks honey.
Lia: One last question before we go to the "Who Am I". Question 4 - Who won the first Iron Fist tournament?
*ding-a-ling*
Julia: What the hell is that?!
Lia: it's a bell.
Hwoarang: What happened to the "Beep" sound, anyway?
Lia: It's been packaged and shipped off to my house in Australia. Now, what were you saying, Forrest?
Forrest: Kazuya Mishima?
Lia: Correct! You're on 5 points.
Forrest: Woo-Hoo!
Lia: Now for the "Who am I"...time starts NOW! I was born in South America. My parents were killed, and so I set off to the Iron Fist Tournament for Revenge. One year after the tournament I found an abandoned baby and took her as my own. I passed onto her the pendant that controls Ogre. I am...
*ding-a-ling*
Hwoarang: Michelle?
Lia: Yes! Correct! Hwoarang recieves 10 points!
Hwoarang: Cool! *munches celery* Wanna here my song?
Lia: Uh...okay...
Hwoarang: Well, it's not actually MY song cos Weird Al Yankovic sings and it's my fave and I know all the words to it. Some words are in Yiddish, so...
Audience Member: JUST GO!
Hwoarang: Okay, here goes...
Veren zol fun dir a blintsa
(How ya doin' Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey
(How ya doin' Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey
(How ya doin' Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey
And all the goyim say I'm pretty fly for a rabbi
Meccha leccha hi, meccha hiney hiney ho
Our temple's had a fair share of rabbis in the past
But most of 'em were nudniks and none of 'em would last
But our new guy's real kosher, I think he'll do the trick
I tell ya, he's to dies for - he really knows his shtick
So how's by you? Have you seen this Jew?
Reads the Torah, does his own accounting too
Workin' like a dog at the synagogue
He's there all day, he's there all day
Just say "Vay iz mir!" and he'll kick into gear
He'll bring you lots of cheer and maybe bagels with some shmeer
Just grab your yarmulka and
Hey! Hey! Do that Hebrew thing!
(How ya doin' Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey
(How ya doin' Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey
(How ya doin' Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey
And all the goyim say I'm pretty fly (for a rabbi)
He shops at discount stores, not just any will sufice
He has to find a bargain 'cause he won't pay retail price
He never acts meshugga and he's hardly a schlemiel
But if you wanna haggle, oy, he'll make you such a deal!
People used to scoff, now they say "Mazel tov!"
He's such a macher 'cause he worked his tuchis off
Yeah, he keeps his cool and teaches shul
What's not to like? What's not to like?
On high holy days, you know he prays and prays
And he never eats pastrami on white breath with mayonnaise
Put on your yarmulka and
Hey! Hey! Do that Hebrew thing!
When he's doing a Bar Mitzvah, now that you shouldn't miss
He'll always shlep on down for a wedding or a briss
They say he's got a lot of chutzpah, he's really quite hhhhhip
The parents pay the moyl and he gets to keep the tip
(How ya doin' Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey
(How ya doin' Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey
(How ya doin' Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey
Meccha leccha hi, meccha meccha cholly ho
He's doin' well, I gotta kvell
The yentas love him, even shicksas think he's swell
Show up at his home, he says "Shalom"
And "Have some cake - you want some cake?"
Yah, he calls the shots, we really love him lots
Oy gevalt, I'm so ferklempt that I could plotz
So grab your yarmulka
The one you got for Chanukah
Let's put on our yarmulkas and
Hey! Hey! Do that Hebrew thing!
(NOTE: This song really IS sung by Al Yankovic. I didn't write it!)
Julia: You're so weird...and anyway, why do you like celery so much?
Hwoarang: Well, it's kind of a long story...when I was born, I had half a brain missing-
Kazuya: I knew it!
Hwoarang: ...and so the docters replaced it with a celery stick. Somehow it malfunctioned and grew into my brain, creating my obsession for celery. Wanna see the stitches?
Lia: Uhh...no thanks. Any way, tahnks for watching Sale of the Tekken! We'll be back after the commercials with Round Four! G'bye! (to cameraman) Commercials!
*************************************************************************************
I know, this chapter's really weird and it went really slowly...but atleast you were told how come Christie's so weird, Hwoarang like celery, and you should know why I never stop talking...if you dont well it's because i'm the HOST. Hosts talk alot. Oh, and I included Steve (who's a new guy in Tekken 4) for the person who wanted to know more about the new characters in T4, but I couldn't be bothered to introduce Craig (actually I forgot! *slacko*), so um yeah...stay tuned for Chapter Three!
Flames will be ignored and used to cook marshmallows.
Constructive criticism is allowed, as long as it's not too offensive or harsh.