Disclaimer: LOTR is not mine, obviously. I don't even really need to say
that. Especially because so far in this story hobbits are the only things
I mentioned even related to Tolkien.
Chapter 3 - Potatoes and More Little Green Men
The green and blue women stood along the side of a small dirt path. The green one leaned against an old oak tree, carving something out of a stick, while the blue one paced nervously back and forth.
"Where are they?" she asked. "They should be here by now."
"Relax, Oh Watery One," the green girl said, looking up from her woodwork. "It's six thirty at the latest, and Red rarely shows up on time."
Just then they could hear faint voices coming down the path.
"Oh, Susanna! Don't you cry for me! I come from Alabama with a banjo on my knee."
"Oh no, not again," grumbled the blue woman.
"Well, it rained so hard the day I left. The weather it was dry." The voices grew louder and two more cloaked figures (one in red, the other black) appeared around the bend, singing, dancing, and laughing.
"It was so hot I froze to death. Susanna don't you cry-"
"What kept you?" demanded Blue over the other two.
"Fins!" cried the woman in red, "Queen of H20!"
"Fins?" the blue girl asked with a raised eyebrow.
"I'm workin on it," said Red. "Hey, at least it's better than Hammy or Cold & Clammy."
"I like Hammy," the black-cloaked woman said. "You sure you don't like that one? No? Alright then."
"One of these days were just gonna stick you with one," commented the woman in green, putting away her pocketknife, "whether you like to or not."
"Where's the food?" questioned Red.
"Gone. We ate it all waiting for you."
"Come off it. Now what do ya got?"
"Well." mused Green, "we managed to pick up some potatoes." She tossed a couple to the weather-beaten red and black cloaks. "We've also got quite a few apples, and.some mushrooms. The little buggers left before we could lift any carrots."
"This is awful," muttered Red. "Next time, I'm doing the food."
"Fine with me," replied Blue, a.k.a. Fins, a.k.a. the Fish. "Maybe then we'll actually meet on time."
"Oh, forgive me, your Watery Excellency," Red said, bowing down dramatically. "I did not mean to cause a ripple in thy calm waters!"
"Stuff it," grumbled Fins as the other women suppressed giggles.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
The four women sat in a circle in the middle of the dirt path, passing a potato frantically back and forth.
"Hot potato, hot potato," they chanted.
"Ah!" screamed Blue as she dropped the potato and the game ended.
"Haha! You lose," chuckled Green.
"Shh!" hissed the woman in black. "Did you hear that?" All the women froze and strained their ears.
Just then, four hobbits came tumbling over the hill on the far side of the path. They landed in a pile not twenty yards away. The women got to their feet and stood off to the side amongst the trees.
"Those are the ones we got the potatoes from," whispered Fish.
"Yeah, we lifted some gold off those halflings, too," said Red.
"You don't think they're coming after us, do you?" Blue asked.
"No," replied Black. "Here's the plan: go around behind them, and we use Red's man to play LGM. Got it? Let's go."
Without another word they stole quietly through the trees at the path's edge. When they reached the little band of hobbits, the silently emerged from the bushes and started walking towards the little curly-haired people.
"Good afternoon," said Black as they approached. The hobbits looked around and greeted the women in turn.
"Lovely day, isn't it?" asked Green, looking up at the clear blue sky. As the hobbits looked up and agreed, Red pulled something out of her cloak.
"Oh my gosh!" she cried.
"What?!" the halflings asked, peering over their shoulders and all around.
"Look! Over there!" Red pointed. "A little green man!"
"A what?" asked Green, stepping forward.
"Where?" said Black as she bumped into one of the hobbits.
All of the sudden a little green man dashed across the path.
"Ah!" yelled the youngest looking hobbit.
"It's.it's a little green man," said the fat hobbit in disbelief.
And it was a little green man. It was sort of like a cross between a garden gnome and a Martian. He stood about a foot off the ground and was somewhat round. He had smooth green skin, green cloth flood pants, and a scraggly green beard.
There was a big commotion between the four big folk and the four four-foot hobbits as the little green man ran back and forth in the path. He disappeared into the trees, then reappeared behind the eight travelers.
One hobbit tried hiding behind one of the women's cloaks. Another jumped up into the arms of the woman in black. A third hobbit shrank away, looking particularly nervous.
In midst of all the confusion, the little green man crept up behind the red- cloaked woman and climbed back into a hidden pocket in her cape.
After a few more minutes, the fuss died down, and the eight people tried to regain their composure.
"Well, um, yes," muttered a hobbit as he backed away from the green woman's cape and straightened his vest.
"Yes," agreed Green.
"That was.odd," said Blue.
Then they all just stood there staring at each other.
"Well, I guess we'd best be off," the black-cloaked woman suggested. She bowed to the hobbits, and started walking down the path. The other women bowed and did the same. As they walked away they could hear the hobbits muttering.
".queer folk."
"Were they Elves?"
"I don't think so."
"Queer."
Chapter 3 - Potatoes and More Little Green Men
The green and blue women stood along the side of a small dirt path. The green one leaned against an old oak tree, carving something out of a stick, while the blue one paced nervously back and forth.
"Where are they?" she asked. "They should be here by now."
"Relax, Oh Watery One," the green girl said, looking up from her woodwork. "It's six thirty at the latest, and Red rarely shows up on time."
Just then they could hear faint voices coming down the path.
"Oh, Susanna! Don't you cry for me! I come from Alabama with a banjo on my knee."
"Oh no, not again," grumbled the blue woman.
"Well, it rained so hard the day I left. The weather it was dry." The voices grew louder and two more cloaked figures (one in red, the other black) appeared around the bend, singing, dancing, and laughing.
"It was so hot I froze to death. Susanna don't you cry-"
"What kept you?" demanded Blue over the other two.
"Fins!" cried the woman in red, "Queen of H20!"
"Fins?" the blue girl asked with a raised eyebrow.
"I'm workin on it," said Red. "Hey, at least it's better than Hammy or Cold & Clammy."
"I like Hammy," the black-cloaked woman said. "You sure you don't like that one? No? Alright then."
"One of these days were just gonna stick you with one," commented the woman in green, putting away her pocketknife, "whether you like to or not."
"Where's the food?" questioned Red.
"Gone. We ate it all waiting for you."
"Come off it. Now what do ya got?"
"Well." mused Green, "we managed to pick up some potatoes." She tossed a couple to the weather-beaten red and black cloaks. "We've also got quite a few apples, and.some mushrooms. The little buggers left before we could lift any carrots."
"This is awful," muttered Red. "Next time, I'm doing the food."
"Fine with me," replied Blue, a.k.a. Fins, a.k.a. the Fish. "Maybe then we'll actually meet on time."
"Oh, forgive me, your Watery Excellency," Red said, bowing down dramatically. "I did not mean to cause a ripple in thy calm waters!"
"Stuff it," grumbled Fins as the other women suppressed giggles.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
The four women sat in a circle in the middle of the dirt path, passing a potato frantically back and forth.
"Hot potato, hot potato," they chanted.
"Ah!" screamed Blue as she dropped the potato and the game ended.
"Haha! You lose," chuckled Green.
"Shh!" hissed the woman in black. "Did you hear that?" All the women froze and strained their ears.
Just then, four hobbits came tumbling over the hill on the far side of the path. They landed in a pile not twenty yards away. The women got to their feet and stood off to the side amongst the trees.
"Those are the ones we got the potatoes from," whispered Fish.
"Yeah, we lifted some gold off those halflings, too," said Red.
"You don't think they're coming after us, do you?" Blue asked.
"No," replied Black. "Here's the plan: go around behind them, and we use Red's man to play LGM. Got it? Let's go."
Without another word they stole quietly through the trees at the path's edge. When they reached the little band of hobbits, the silently emerged from the bushes and started walking towards the little curly-haired people.
"Good afternoon," said Black as they approached. The hobbits looked around and greeted the women in turn.
"Lovely day, isn't it?" asked Green, looking up at the clear blue sky. As the hobbits looked up and agreed, Red pulled something out of her cloak.
"Oh my gosh!" she cried.
"What?!" the halflings asked, peering over their shoulders and all around.
"Look! Over there!" Red pointed. "A little green man!"
"A what?" asked Green, stepping forward.
"Where?" said Black as she bumped into one of the hobbits.
All of the sudden a little green man dashed across the path.
"Ah!" yelled the youngest looking hobbit.
"It's.it's a little green man," said the fat hobbit in disbelief.
And it was a little green man. It was sort of like a cross between a garden gnome and a Martian. He stood about a foot off the ground and was somewhat round. He had smooth green skin, green cloth flood pants, and a scraggly green beard.
There was a big commotion between the four big folk and the four four-foot hobbits as the little green man ran back and forth in the path. He disappeared into the trees, then reappeared behind the eight travelers.
One hobbit tried hiding behind one of the women's cloaks. Another jumped up into the arms of the woman in black. A third hobbit shrank away, looking particularly nervous.
In midst of all the confusion, the little green man crept up behind the red- cloaked woman and climbed back into a hidden pocket in her cape.
After a few more minutes, the fuss died down, and the eight people tried to regain their composure.
"Well, um, yes," muttered a hobbit as he backed away from the green woman's cape and straightened his vest.
"Yes," agreed Green.
"That was.odd," said Blue.
Then they all just stood there staring at each other.
"Well, I guess we'd best be off," the black-cloaked woman suggested. She bowed to the hobbits, and started walking down the path. The other women bowed and did the same. As they walked away they could hear the hobbits muttering.
".queer folk."
"Were they Elves?"
"I don't think so."
"Queer."