Disclaimer: The Golden Sun franchise seems to be the property of person or persons other than myself.
Author's Note: Life at college has finally settled down to the point where I could write a little! This chapter is a little short, but hopefully the next one won't take nearly as long to put out. Enjoy!
As Felix disappeared into the forest, Sheba listlessly finished setting up the bedding for the night, her thoughts a jumbled mess. That hadn't been at all like Felix, to scream at her like that. What had she done to upset him so badly?
The young wind adept shivered as a chill breeze blew in with the night. Darkness had closed in quickly on the party, leaving them ill-prepared. Sheba gave the last bedroll a shove, watching it unfurl towards the campfire circle that Piers was clearing out. The air was heavy, and if Sheba knew anything about the wind, a storm was coming some time tomorrow. She sat silently, absorbed in her thoughts.
"Hey, Sheba," a voice came.
The wind mage emerged from her daze and glanced over at Jenna, who smiled and motioned her over. Sheba stood and stumbled over to sit by the injured adept.
"How's your ankle?"
"It's a bit painful," Jenna admitted, shifting the ice block Piers had provided her. "Hopefully it will heal up for tomorrow morning."
"Yeah," Sheba offered noncommittally. Felix would almost certainly want an early start.
"Hey," Jenna said, interrupting the young girl's wandering thoughts. Sheba blushed as she realized how preoccupied she was.
"I'm sorry," she apologized. "I just…"
The sentence trailed off, her gaze shifting to the forest. Beside her, Jenna sighed softly.
"My brother can be really stupid sometimes," the Mars adept grumbled. Sheba looked at the older girl and met her surprisingly strong stare. "He doesn't blame you, you know."
Sheba was surprised. "Well… why else would he yell at me?" she wondered.
"He's upset. And he's frustrated. But not with you," Jenna said pointedly. "He's angry at himself."
Sheba looked back to the ever-darkening forest. "Why in Weyard would he be angry with himself?"
"For making the decision to try the mountains. For agreeing to come back to Kibombo in the first place," Jenna offered. She fixed her gaze on the wind adept once more. "But I'd guess he's most upset about failing to protect you."
"But he saved my life!" Sheba protested.
"Yes, he did, but that's not the way he sees it," Jenna sighed. "In his view, if he had protected you properly, he wouldn't have had to save your life."
Sheba mulled that over for a moment. "That's absurd."
Jenna smiled in the darkness.
"Hey, Jenna," Piers called from the campfire. "A little light here?"
"Too dark for a big, strong Lemurian?" the Mars adept teased.
"Just thought you might like some food, Jenna," came the retort.
Jenna gave a small cry of mock-indignation. "Have it your way, then." She cupped her palm and made a half-circle in the air, creating a small sphere of flame which she floated in the Lemurian's direction. Piers encased the flame in a hollow ice-ball and began rummaging around in the packs.
Sheba watched the water adept for a silent moment. "Why does he put so much pressure on himself?"
Jenna gazed towards the forest. "Only he really knows that. I would guess it has something to do with his guilt."
"Guilt?" Sheba echoed.
"He was the one who conspired to steal the Elemental Stars. This was supposed to be his quest, without endangering those he loves," Jenna explained. "Whenever someone else gets hurt, he blames himself. He doesn't want others to suffer for his decisions."
Sheba sat quietly, poking at the grass with the toe of her boot. Jenna shifted her ankle again and sighed heavily.
"I worry about him," she murmured, half to herself. "He puts too much pressure on himself."
Sheba glanced once more at the forest that concealed the Venus adept. Jenna, it seemed, was correct.
The young girl sighed internally and sent out a short prayer.
It's not your fault, Felix.
* * * * * *
The Venus adept stomped through the forest, casting about for firewood. The forest was gloomy in the rapidly retreating twilight. The thin branches cast crooked shadows as they brushed against Felix's steel armor.
"Stupid," he mumbled angrily, snatching a branch from the ground.
He couldn't believe he'd snapped at her like that. She'd only been trying to comfort him, and he taken her comfort and spurned it.
She'd probably be mad at him now. Hell, he would have been angry if he was in her place. She had every right to be angry at him.
And yet, somehow he knew she wouldn't be. And that just made him more upset with himself.
He yanked a couple more branches out of the dirt, plunging deeper into the dark forest. They were stuck here for the night, stuck trying to set up camp in a losing race against nightfall. He shouldn't have pressed through the mountains. It was his fault they were stuck in this predicament. Nothing he did ever turned out right.
For that matter, they wouldn't even have had to cross the mountains if he hadn't led them into that dank cave beneath the statue. That had nearly gotten Sheba killed, and Felix didn't want to think about what he would have done if she'd been lost.
He should have kept them on course. They should have sailed for Lemuria directly, instead of making this ill-advised detour.
It was his fault.
He stormed onward, fueled by his seething rage. A stiff breeze continued to blow through the skeletal trees, whipping his cape and further cluttering his furious mind.
The worst part about it was that everyone knew that he'd made a mistake. Jenna was probably spitting flames at him. Piers wouldn't say, but Felix knew that he would have disagreed with his course of action. Kraden never agreed with what he did.
And Sheba… she had just been trying to make the best of his mess. She'd wanted to divert his frustration and salvage what she could. She hadn't really cared about him. Not that she should have, as worthless as he was. Everything that had transpired, including her abduction, was his fault. He was to blame; he alone.
The Venus adept stopped suddenly, his hand clenched on a length of firewood. The wind picked up, swirling his thoughts beyond his control. They probably all hated him by now. And maybe it was better that way.
Maybe he needed to go alone.
Yes, that would work. He could get them all back to Madra, and then strike out on his own. That way, when he made his mistakes, he could deal with them on his own and not hinder anyone else.
That way, when it was his fault…
It's not your fault, Felix.
SNAP!
Felix blinked rapidly in the still air, pain shooting up his arm. He glanced down to see the branch he'd been holding had snapped in half, slicing his right hand in the process. The blood trickled slowly down his palm as he glanced around, disoriented. He wiped the blood on his tunic and shifted the bundle of firewood in the crook of his left arm, trying to retrace his thoughts. But they were gone, as elusive as the shadows that had disappeared in the darkness of the night.
The Venus adept felt a great weariness settle into his bones. It was getting late fast. He gathered up a few last branches, then began the trek back to camp. He could eat, get what sleep he could, and be ready for an early start the next morning.
But first, he needed to talk to Sheba. And apologize once again for his stupid mistakes.
* * * * * *
The meal had been very quiet. Felix had been a long time in returning with the firewood, but once Jenna got the fire started the meal had cooked fairly rapidly. Kraden had babbled on harmlessly on some strange aspect of the terrain, Jenna had complained about the cold breeze, and Piers had been his usual quiet self. Sheba herself had stayed quiet, keeping a surreptitious eye on Felix. He hadn't said a word since his return, and she didn't need her mind powers to read the anxiety in his demeanor.
Sheba finished the last spoonful of her bland meal. The little conversation had wound down, leaving an eerie stillness about the camp. Even the wind had stopped.
Suddenly, Felix stood. "We should all get to bed," he stated, a little too loudly. "I'd like to get an early start tomorrow."
Jenna grumbled under her breath, tossed her bowl towards the packs, and flopped backwards onto her bedroll. Kraden walked over to the bedrolls slowly, still mumbling something about tectonic plates and mountain ranges.
Sheba half-crawled over to her bedroll, unclasping her boots and slipping them off. She began to work on her armor when Felix walked over and sat stiffly beside her. Sheba quelled her rising curiosity and waited patiently.
"Sheba," Felix started.
The wind mage waited through the ensuing silence.
"Sheba, I- I'm sorry," he managed, slumping slightly. "I shouldn't have yelled at you. I… I was frustrated, I guess."
"I appreciate the apology," she replied, "but you know this isn't your fault."
Felix hesitated. "There's nothing to be done about it now," he said evasively.
Sheba looked him in the eye. "Felix, stop being so hard on yourself!" The earth adept turned his head away from her, the firelight flickering over his pained face. Sheba put her hand on his, then pulled away as she felt the beginnings of a scab.
"What happened to your hand?" she asked, moving her hand to his arm.
Felix shrugged. "I cut it while I was gathering the firewood. It's not a big deal." Sheba held onto his arm firmly as he tried to pull away.
"Felix, I'm worried about you," Sheba said resolutely. "You can't keep putting this pressure on yourself. It's not your fault."
Felix met her gaze, the intensity in his brown eyes surprising Sheba. "But it is my fault."
"No, it isn't," Sheba sighed. "It's not your fault that Jenna tripped on a rock. It's not your fault that Kraden was so set on returning here. But it is your fault," she continued, softening her gaze, "that I'm still alive."
Felix opened his mouth, then seemed to think better of it.
"Felix, nobody does everything correctly. If they did, we wouldn't be in this position. You can blame yourself for your mistakes, but you should remember the good things you do as well."
"Sheba-"
A loud hiss interrupted Felix's protest as the firelight flickered and died. Sheba turned to see Piers retiring to his bedroll, then glanced back at the sullen Venus adept.
She sighed aloud. "Felix, you can't save the world overnight."
Felix still seemed unconvinced. Then something in his demeanor shifted. "Yeah, I guess you're right," he sighed.
Sheba smiled softly, glad for any progress. Felix stood up. "You should get some sleep. It's going to be a long day tomorrow."
Sheba used her grip on his arm to stand up next to him. "Try to forgive yourself, Felix. Because I'll never forgive you for saving my life." Hesitating briefly, Sheba stretched up and kissed him on the cheek.
He was silent for a heartbeat, maybe two. "Goodnight, Sheba," he said softly.
"Goodnight," she breathed as his dim figure retreated into the darkness. A small smile on her lips, she settled in to sleep.
* * * * * *
Felix turned the tattered page slowly, absorbing the strange text in the pale moonlight. His cold breath fluttered the ancient parchment in the deathly stillness of the cool night air. The leathery cover was warm against the dried blood on his hand.
He wanted to believe her. Wanted to so desperately. But he knew, deep down, that she was just smoothing over the issue, for his sake.
She's just using you… using you for the quest.
The quest that he had chosen to undertake. The quest that wasn't supposed to affect anyone else. And yet he'd kidnapped her from her home.
She still resents you for that. She doesn't care.
But she'd seemed so genuinely concerned for him. His free hand brushed briefly against his cheek, remembering the soft touch of her lips.
Lips that speak lies. Lips that deceive.
No, she hadn't been trying to fool him.
Or had she?
You tried to apologize to her. The rotting page turned with a whisper. She ignored your apology.
She'd ignored his simple apology and tried to divert him.
She brought up all your mistakes. A brief gust rattled the pages of the tome. Made you face them again.
His mistakes… his failures…
Yes, that's right. Your failures.
His failures… and she'd said she would never forgive him.
She won't forgive you. The ancient runes seemed to taunt him. None of them will.
They wouldn't forgive him. They would continue to hate him for his failures.
As they should. You're a failure.
The scrawling text blurred in front of his eyes.
Failure.
He shut his eyes, trying to ward off some unseen assailant.
Failure.
The tears started down his cold face, dripping onto the rough parchment.
Failure.
"Xocf mo jeic," he whispered to the blackness.
A/N: Shadow-Dragon5 wins the language contest! 'Twas from Star Fox Adventures. Some quick review responses:
Griffinkhan: I'm glad you find this interesting! Sorry it took so long to update. Hope you enjoy!
Empress Dotdotdot: Are you quite certain that Jenna and Piers dying can't be real? insert evil laughter here
You are correct… Felix doesn't quite seem to be himself. Here's the next update!
Vyctori: No, no, I'm not trying to kill you… I only kill the characters… possibly…
It's good that I'm making you nervous, though. I'm still keeping people off-balance! Felix's downward spiral is continuing, with more depressive stuff on the horizon… but it could still turn out well in the end…
Thanks for the review!
chibiD: Did he get angry… or did he lose control? Thanks for the review!
Yugi the Other White Meat: Thanks for the encouragement! Sorry I've left you hanging so long… I'll try to do better in the future!
Hedwig: Rest assured, I only kill off my characters if I have a very good reason to do so.
E-100 Alpha: Dullahan may indeed have a role to play… unless I decide he's too extreme at this point (after all, they haven't even boarded the ship yet).
Debrishipping is a good idea… how about Fateshipping? Thanks for the review!
Chibi procrastinator: Felix is nice to people for now… as for lemons, they're generally graphic love scenes between two (or more) people.
Thanks for the review!
Zelda the 7th Sage(x3): I'm glad you're enjoying the story! Thanks for your reviews!
Smurf Cat: I'm glad I've made your favorites! Sorry the update took so long!
Shadow-Dragon5: Congrats on getting the language correct! As for some of your other guesses… Felix's whereabouts are quite unknown during the creepy dream sequence.
And yes, I'm what you'd call a Valeshipper, I suppose. But this story focuses on Sheba and Felix.
Here's the next update!
lins(x2): We meet again! I'm glad you're enjoying the story. It's my favorite out of the ones I'm writing.
Here's the next update, especially for you. And thanks for the compliments!
Dinny: Thanks for the encouragement! Enjoy this chapter!
Whew… that alone gives me incentive to update more frequently! Thanks again to everyone who reviewed!
A special thanks to my faithful beta-reader, Crab Apple Fairy, as well as the new guinea pig I have here at college! With both of you, all grammar mistakes are officially not my fault =D.
Until next time!
-AE