Property of J.K. Rowling
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To Harry's amusement, Professor Lupin was standing at the door at six p.m. looking quite the Muggle. He smiled at Harry and then turned to Aunt Petunia and bowed slightly.
"Hello Mrs. Dursley, alright?" he said with a smile.
"Yes, lovely day… just lovely" she replied sarcastically. Noticing that she wasn't much for conversation Lupin shrugged and turned to Harry.
"Have all your things packed Harry?"
"Yeah, just let me bring them downstairs." It only took a few minutes for Harry to drag all his belongings down stairs; even though he was dreading his return to school he'd decided that anything was better than sitting around here all summer. Upon his return to the living room Harry noticed the Dursley's had made themselves scarce. He supposed that they didn't want to be in close proximity to any "abnormalities" so they'd found other places to be until Harry was well and gone. He came to find Lupin fishing around in his pockets and muttering under his breath.
"So how are we traveling professor?"
"Portkey, probably the easiest way at the moment, oh look here it is." Lupin pulled a small shiny object out of his pocket and handed it to Harry. A spoon? Whatever works.
"It's set for just one minute from now, come now, I'll take your trunk and you hold on to the cage. Grab onto the spoon Harry, now just one more second. Okay!" And as he expected Harry felt that little pull behind his naval and when he opened his eyes he was standing in the dimly lit basement kitchen of number 12 Grimmauld Place. Sitting around the table was Mrs. Weasley, Tonks, Moody, Ron and Hermione. It looked as though they had just sat down for dinner and were a bit startled by Harry's sudden appearance.
"Oh Harry dear! It's so wonderful to see you again, my word you're so thin! Well we'll just have to take care of that now won't we? I swear it, those Muggles don't know a bit about teenage boys do they, why didn't you write us to tell…' said Mrs. Weasley as she wrapped Harry in a rib crushing hug.
"Blimey mum, he just got here let him breathe a moment won't you? Hey Harry, great to see you, alright now?" said an aggravated Ron. He knew his mother's overbearing ways; and his interruption was with perfect timing as Harry wasn't prepared to answer any questions just yet. Harry sent a look of thanks over to Ron and moved towards the table. His eyes surveyed the room before him and before he could stop himself he felt overcome with grief. He now stood in the place that Sirius once called home. These people sat around his table as though he were just upstairs tending to some household deed, and the thought sickened him. He narrowed his eyes as they fell upon each face that rounded the table, how dare they convene here as if nothing happened? Without a word Harry grasped his trunk and Hedwig's cage and awkwardly spun around to head upstairs. He heard Ron's voice calling after him only to be quieted by Mrs. Weasley's but did not turn around to respond, Harry just pretended he didn't hear anything and clamored up to his room. It wasn't like he would be able to escape Ron for long; they were sharing a room and all. Great, just what he needed right now… questions of how "okay" he felt and feeble attempts to cheer him up. Harry entered the room that he and Ron had shared last summer and was a bit surprised with the aesthetics. The room had undergone drastic changes to its décor despite the normal dank quality that the most ancient and noble house of Black normally possessed. Apparently a lot of work had been put into cleaning up the house as the walls were now a faded white and the linens on the bed and windows were starched and pristine. He could even see the evening sky through the glass, last time there was dirt and grime blocking the view. Harry tossed his things down on the floor and threw himself on the bed lethargically. He hadn't realized how drained he felt until he'd arrived at the house. Maybe if he just went to sleep everything would disappear and when he woke Sirius would be downstairs laughing and waiting for Harry to come say hello. Maybe…
Just as Harry was sliding into sleep he heard a faint knock at the door. Through squinted eyes he could make out a figure coming towards his bed, but he wasn't sure who it was.
"Harry? Are you awake?" It was Hermione and she appeared ready to burst into tears at any moment. Immediately Harry felt that all too common rage again but at the site of her face he released and couldn't bring himself to yell.
"Yeah, I'm here." He said flatly.
"Well, hi… I wanted to check on you, you didn't stay downstairs long enough for me to say hello or anything. You didn't even eat." Harry could hear her voice waver with every other word, she was really struggling not to cry. Finally he sat up to face her and met eyes that looked so aged for someone so young. Her expression reminded him of someone, gaunt and pained but Harry couldn't place it.
"I wasn't really hungry Hermione, I just wanted to sleep. Can't seem to bring myself to eat much these days anyway, you know?" With that Hermione lunged at Harry wrapping her arms tight around his neck. He could feel her tears falling on his neck and soaking his shirt and it left him feeling paralyzed unaware of what to say or do.
Hermione exploded.
"Oh Harry! I'm so sorry, this summer must have been horrible for you and to see all of us just sitting around at his table, oh it would have destroyed me. I have been thinking about what to say to you all summer that might make things easier but the truth is I couldn't come up with anything. I know there isn't anything that can be said. I missed you so much and knowing you were stuck with those horrible people made it even worse. I swear if I had my way you would have just come with me for the summer, or something. Anything. Harry will you be okay, is there anything…"
"Hermione, ' Harry began impatiently, but she went on without breathing.
"…I can do? Please tell me, anything… I, I, I…" For once it seemed that Miss Hermione Granger had officially run out of things to say. Harry was surprised to find he was amused by this and smiled at her.
"Hermione,' he tried again, 'Uh- Thank you. No there isn't anything you can really do, but I appreciate this. More than I can begin to explain… I just don't have much to say right now, to anyone that is. Every time I try to look at anyone here all I can see is his face and I get so angry I can't speak. Heh, er- I know you care but can you loosen that grip a bit, you're bloody bound to kill me." Hermione pulled away from Harry slowly and met his eyes for a moment. She seemed to relax at the sight of his smile and backed away wringing her hands.
"Harry, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to go crazy on you or anything… I just…"
"It's okay. Thank you, really." He said with a smile. Again she seemed to relax more as she studied his face, though the pain behind her eyes was something Harry had never seen before.
"Well, er. Okay. I'll go back downstairs with the others and leave you to sleep then." She made for the door but Harry grabbed her arm to stop her.
"Thanks, oh and thanks for the planner refill. I'm really gonna use that thing, it's going to be the only thing that is going to get me through all the class work this year, and I'll owe it all to you." Her spirits visibly lifted at the sound of this and she beamed back at him as she left the room. That girl, cries and cries and all his reassuring doesn't make her feel any better… but mention homework and her smile gets so big it lights up the entire room.
~*~*~*~
Harry didn't return downstairs at all for the rest of the evening. Instead he opted to face everyone in the morning and he promised himself to do his best to control his temper. After seeing Hermione's reaction to him yesterday, Harry could only imagine how the others would react if he blew up all over them.
The morning came quickly enough and Harry found himself in slightly higher spirits. Though he wasn't sure why he wasn't about to question it since it was the happiest he'd felt all summer. He dressed quickly noticing that Ron wasn't in the room. Ron was never one to deny food whatever time it was so Harry figured he'd already made a beeline for the table; even from upstairs he could smell the bacon and eggs Mrs. Weasley was surely whipping up. There sitting around the table awaiting their breakfast was Remus, Hermione, and Ginny. Ron was already eating.
"Mornshingarry alwighate?" said Ron through a mouthful of eggs as Harry sat down. He smiled at his best friend, after five years he could finally understand Ron's food-in-mouth language.
"Morning Ron, yeah I'm alright. Sorry I didn't stay downstairs last night, I was just tired,' he lied. Before he could continue his conversation with Ron, Mrs. Weasley was heaping mountains of food onto a plate in front of him.
"Here Harry dear, eat up. You're entirely too thin and it will be the death of me…' Harry visibly flinched at the word "death" and Mrs. Weasley had obviously caught it. She burst into tears and threw her arms around his neck sobbing uncontrollably into his shoulder.
"Oh Harry, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean…"
"It's okay Mrs. Weasley. I know you didn't." Harry said quietly. He was desperately trying to conceal the irritation in his voice by keeping his response short. The room had suddenly gone quiet and everyone seemed to be staring in his direction. Finally Harry couldn't take it anymore.
"I'M FINE ALRIGHT? YES, SIRIUS IS DEAD. I REMEMBER! IF EVERYONE WOULD JUST STOP CRYING EVERY SECOND I MIGHT BE ABLE TO GET OVER IT. BUT NO. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE ABLE TO MOVE ON IF ALL ANYONE DOES IS KEEP REMINDING ME? WELL?" Harry's throat went dry and he fought mercilessly against the tears that were forming behind his eyes. His entire body had begun to ache and all he wanted to do was crawl into a corner and pretend none of this was real. Still, the table was silent but now he saw Hermione fighting back tears as well and Mrs. Weasley looked wretched. In the next second they both stood up and walked out of the kitchen without a word, leaving Harry to regret everything he had just said. So much for watching his temper. His eyes fell upon Ron's face first. His ears were a deadly shade of crimson and his eyes wide but cold in anger. Ginny looked equally as furious and Remus just looked deeply saddened.
"What's with you shouting at my mother that way Harry? She didn't mean to upset you, and you damn well know it!" Ron snarled. He dropped his fork onto his plate with a deafening clang and stormed out of the room. Ginny glared at Harry for a moment and then followed suit. Feeling sick Harry stood up and looked Remus in the eyes. He went to speak but Remus beat him to it.
"Harry, I think we need to talk."
"I don't want to talk. I don't want to talk about Sirius, I can't. It all hurts way too much. Why doesn't everyone just understand that? If they could just stop bringing it up I might be able to push it out of my mind but they keep apologizing. IT ISN'T THEIR FAULT HE'S DEAD! IT'S MINE! IT'S MY FAULT. IF I HADN'T…" Harry didn't even realize he had been yelling but Remus' soft tone when he spoke forced him to quiet down so he could hear him.
"Harry, listen. It isn't your fault that Sirius died, you must understand. He loved you very much and when he heard you were in danger there wasn't anything that could have stopped him from going to help save you. Nothing, do you hear me?"
"But, if I hadn't tried to save the day, if I had just practiced my Occlumency better Voldemort wouldn't have been able to get into my mind to plant that dream. I would have never gone to the Department of Mysteries and Sirius would be sitting here with us right now. Don't you see? It is my fault." For the first time since Sirius had died Harry couldn't hold it all in anymore. He collapsed into a chair and cried for what seemed like hours. When he finally looked up from his hands he saw Remus looking at him, tears streaming down his face. That's when Harry realized he wasn't the only one who had lost someone they loved. Sirius had been just as close to Remus as he was to Harry, the weary professor was grieving too.
"I just need time. More time,' choked Harry. They sat there in silence for awhile longer until Harry thought it might be best to go and apologize for his outburst. He knew he had hurt Mrs. Weasley deeply by what he said and the thought of hurting the one woman who had acted as a mother to him tore his heart in two. He found her on the second floor in the room across from the one Hermione and Ginny were occupying. She was sitting on the bed looking off into space.
"Mrs. Weasley?' he asked guiltily 'can I talk to you for a minute?"
"Sure Harry, come in."
"Listen, I just wanted to say I'm sorry for everything I said. I didn't mean to upset you it's just that everything hurts so badly… I just get angry anytime I think of him and how I'll never see him again. I'm really sorry, I er- I don't know what else to say…" Again Harry's throat had gone dry. He was hoping she'd accept the apology quickly because he didn't think he could take much more of talking about Sirius. He still had to find Ron, Ginny, and Hermione and apologize to them as well.
"Harry darling, I wasn't upset by what you said. I understand how you must feel right now. That is why I walked out of the room, do you understand dear? It breaks my heart to see what kind of pain you've had to endure all these years. I love you as though you were my son Harry, and I can't bear to see you hurting. I just can't. So don't you worry, I'm not upset with you at all. I couldn't be." Her voice wavered slightly at the last sentence but she smiled nevertheless. It took Harry a moment to realize he had thrown his arms around her and pulled her into a hug.
"You are the most amazing person I know Mrs. Weasley. Thank you." He let go of her quickly and walked out the door without looking back. Just hearing her say those words had made his heart soar but Harry wasn't accustomed to being told he was loved and was left dumbfounded. Despite his brief reaction he was sure Mrs. Weasley understood. Now only if Ron and Ginny were as understanding, this is where it becomes difficult. But to his own amazement neither of them seemed to be angry when he found them in Ron's room. He explained where he was coming from briefly and both accepted his apologies. Harry suddenly had the suspicion that this was a bit of Hermione's work but silently thanked her. She had a way of smoothing things over sometimes that baffled Harry to no end.
Later in the day as Ron and Harry were entertaining themselves with a game of chess Ginny and Hermione came running in with what looked like letters from Hogwarts.
"They're here! They're here! Oh my gosh, I hope I've done well." Hermione said anxiously. Ron took his letter out her hands with an exaggerated eye roll.
"Honestly Hermione, you know you've gotten perfect O's in everything, why must you go on about it the way you do?"
"Really, Ron you don't know what I've gotten so why don't you just keep quiet.' She snapped. Hermione handed Harry his letter and he torn it open with a heavy sigh.
IDear Mr. Potter,
Congratulations on receiving six O.W.L's with a score of E or higher. A list of courses of which you have been accepted, will accompany your school booklist.
Professor Minerva McGonagall
Deputy Headmistress
Defense Against the Dark Arts – O
Transfiguration – E
Charms – E
Care for Magical Creatures – O
Astronomy – E
Divination – P
Potions – E
Herbology - E
History of Magic - P/I
Apparently Hermione had been reading over his shoulder because she squealed with excitement a second later.
"Harry! Seven O.W.L.'s that's great! Ron, how did you do?"
"I've got five. No more Potions for me this year, can't say I'll miss that greasy git at all." Ron said happily. "Let me guess Hermione, all perfect O's?"
Hermione blushed madly, "Yes, yes. All O's for me. Harry, how are you going to go in for Auror training if you only got an E in Potions? Don't you need an O for that?"
Auror Training, he had forgotten all about that. "Hadn't given it much thought to be honest." Harry knew immediately that had been the wrong thing to say, and to confirm his suspicions Hermione launched into her all too common lecture mode. But what he heard sounded much like: "Blah blah, future, blah blah irresponsible, blah blah slacker." Sometimes the best idea was to just tune Hermione out instead of protesting her speeches. Unfortunately, Ron hadn't figured this out yet.
"Blimey Hermione, give it a rest. Let the man take on one thing at time. I'm sure he'll find a way to get into Auror training. At least he will as long as he doesn't have you yapping in his ear the entire time." Harry laughed to himself, he had to give it to Ron; sometimes his bickering with Hermione was just plain humorous. She didn't find it as amusing and muttered something under her breath about Ron being a prat and stalked out of the room. "Still think that one is a bit mental, ya know?" said an exasperated Ron, 'Anyway, I'm hungry. Want to head downstairs for a bite to eat, dinner won't be ready for hours."
"Sure. But someday you have to tell me how you eat so much and still look like a bean pole." Harry laughed as he playfully punched Ron in the stomach. Maybe things wouldn't be so bad after all, at least he was laughing. They walked down to the kitchen to find the old blue-eyed professor sitting at the head of the table in deep conversation with Lupin. Dumbledore looked up the moment they stepped into the room and smiled at Harry warmly.
"Hello Harry, Ron." Harry couldn't find it in himself to speak though he wasn't sure why. He was glad Ron was standing next to him, if he wasn't it might have made the moment quite a bit more awkward.
"Professor.' Ron replied with a nod and smile. "Nice to see you." Harry still stood in the doorway unmoving but Ron went to look in the pantry for his desired snack. Dumbledore's eyes seemed to be fixed on Harry's as if he were studying them, waiting for him to make the first move. Harry was thankful when it was the professor who spoke again.
"Harry, will you come with me? I have a few things I'd like to talk with you about."
"Sure Professor." He said, his voice cracking a little. He followed the professor into the drawing room and sat down on the sofa carefully. The last time Harry had been in this room he and the rest of the house's occupants were struggling to remove doxies from the draperies. He let his eyes wander to the Black family tapestry purposely to avoid the old man's seemingly clairvoyant gaze. Every time the professor said he needed to speak with Harry, the conversation never went well, this time didn't seem to sound as though it was going to be any different. Immediately his thoughts reverted to those horrible moments in the headmaster's office last term. Harry remembered smashing everything in sight and being so furious with the old man that he could barely see straight. He must have looked deep in thought because Dumbledore touched his shoulder to jar him back to reality.
"Harry, ' he began with a heavy sigh, 'As I'm sure you received my note, there are few things we must discuss and I'm afraid they aren't all of a pleasant nature. I suppose I shall get the worst out of the way and move on from there. It is regarding your inheritance Harry."
"My inheritance?" Harry asked, sincerely confused.
"…Yes Harry, your inheritance of Sirius' estate and all his belongings. Sirius and I had a long conversation last year concerning both his and your future; he wanted to make sure that should anything happen to him during his service to the Order, that everything he owned would then be transferred to you. I do hope you realize he had your best interests at heart and wanted to see that you would be taken care of. "
Harry felt as though someone had drained all the air out of his lungs. He had been so consumed with merely Sirius' death that he hadn't considered that he might be heir to anything his Godfather had owned. He stared blankly at his professor, unknowing of what to say.
"I'm aware that this isn't something you may have wanted to deal with at the moment but I assure you I wouldn't concern you with something I didn't feel to be important. Since you are the new owner of this house, I, on behalf of the Order of Phoenix must ask your permission to continue its use as our headquarters." Dumbledore eyed Harry as if trying to read his next move, Harry barely found his voice to reply.
"You can have it, I don't want it," Harry began quietly, slowly feeling the anger rise in his chest, "Any of it. I never wanted his money or his house. WHY CAN'T I JUST HAVE HIM BACK?! WHY DOES EVERYTHING HAVE TO BE SO DAMN HARD? WHY…' Harry exploded unaware of his surroundings. Once he realized he was yelling, he half expected the headmaster to make attempts to calm him but he was wrong. The old man just sat there patiently, waiting for Harry's burst of emotion to subside before he spoke again. Maybe it was the look in his eyes that forced Harry to cease his uproar, he did not know but suddenly he felt an eerie calm and waited for Dumbledore to continue.
"Along with this house, you have also inherited Sirius' fortune. This brings me to my next topic of discussion. On your birthday you received a box with a set of keys in it. Could you fetch it, so I may explain what they are for?"
"Yeah." Harry said numbly. Without speaking another word he stood and ran up the stairs to his trunk to retrieve the little silver box. He handed it to Dumbledore as he sat back down on the sofa and looked at him blankly. The headmaster removed the keys from their satin bed and gazed at them thoughtfully for a moment before he spoke. Dumbledore fingered the key that Harry had thought to be familiar and leaned it towards Harry.
"This key opens Sirius' vault at Gringotts containing any money he's saved. It is yours to use at your own will and you may keep it with you. However if you should feel that it is something you'd prefer me to keep it for you until it is needed, I would be happy to oblige." Harry nodded, but silently swore he would never ever touch a Sickle that was in that vault. Dumbledore went on, "The second, from what I have been told is the key to every door in this house, except for the front door, as there is no keyhole. It is also for you to keep with you, should you choose to hold on to it." At this moment the professor took a deep sigh and paused for a moment eyeing the last of the keys. Harry looked down at his finger which had swollen and looked to be infected despite his incessant cleaning. If anything was holding his very distant interest it was the story behind this strange key. "This last one, well… I am afraid I do not know what it does. Sirius must have believed it to be important for you to have or he would not have insisted upon my delivering it to you. I just wish I could be of more help in explaining its purpose."
Hearing this left Harry feeling deprived of what might have been a small trace connection him to his godfather. He was sure Dumbledore would have had some long and complex explanation of what the key was to and the like and here he was saying he had no idea. His sulking didn't last very long because the headmaster continued to speak.
"Also, I wanted to be bearer of the great news concerning your Quidditch career, so to speak. Since I have been reinstated as Hogwart's headmaster, I have lifted the ban placed on you barring you from playing. I am also pleased to inform you that you have been made Gryffindor's team captain. I'm sure you'll do wonderfully this season, and I wish you the best luck in finding talented players." The thought of Quidditch smacked Harry in the face. Captain? New players? Oh bloody hell, he was left with half a team this year, only Ron as keeper, Harry himself as seeker. Tryouts were going to be rough.
Harry shook his head as if trying to rid the thoughts of Quidditch from his mind and focused his attention back on the professor. Again Dumbledore had been watching him but this time smiled slightly.
"Don't worry Harry, tryouts will go well enough. I have faith that you are qualified for the position and will have no trouble finding exactly what it is you are looking for." How does he do that? Dumbledore had this way of reading Harry's thoughts as if they were an open book, most of the time he said the right thing to end his confusion as well. At this Professor Dumbledore stood and looked down at Harry, his eyes twinkling slightly. "I'm sorry I must go for now, I will see you at the feast when term starts. For now try to enjoy the rest of your holiday, and Harry…' he paused, 'remember something. There are plenty around you that will gladly be exactly what you need them to be. It is perfectly acceptable for you to need people now, don't shut them out. They care for you a great deal. You must remember to be open with those you love. Always be open." And like a flash of lightning Dumbledore turned and strode out of the room.
When Harry collected himself many minutes later, he walked back into the kitchen and sat down next to Ron. Hermione looked at Harry with worried eyes but said nothing. It was Ron who asked the inevitable question.
"So what was that all about Harry?" he asked innocently.
Harry sighed deciding whether to tell him the truth or not. "I now own this house and all of Sirius' money and stuff." He said flatly, deliberately staring into his hands.
"Well no offense mate, but I swear it… you are probably the sole richest sixteen year old I know."
"RON!" Hermione bellowed.
"What a way to make a fortune…", Harry said bitterly. He quietly thought to himself that he'd give up every cent he had if he could just put things back the way they were. If only…
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To Harry's amusement, Professor Lupin was standing at the door at six p.m. looking quite the Muggle. He smiled at Harry and then turned to Aunt Petunia and bowed slightly.
"Hello Mrs. Dursley, alright?" he said with a smile.
"Yes, lovely day… just lovely" she replied sarcastically. Noticing that she wasn't much for conversation Lupin shrugged and turned to Harry.
"Have all your things packed Harry?"
"Yeah, just let me bring them downstairs." It only took a few minutes for Harry to drag all his belongings down stairs; even though he was dreading his return to school he'd decided that anything was better than sitting around here all summer. Upon his return to the living room Harry noticed the Dursley's had made themselves scarce. He supposed that they didn't want to be in close proximity to any "abnormalities" so they'd found other places to be until Harry was well and gone. He came to find Lupin fishing around in his pockets and muttering under his breath.
"So how are we traveling professor?"
"Portkey, probably the easiest way at the moment, oh look here it is." Lupin pulled a small shiny object out of his pocket and handed it to Harry. A spoon? Whatever works.
"It's set for just one minute from now, come now, I'll take your trunk and you hold on to the cage. Grab onto the spoon Harry, now just one more second. Okay!" And as he expected Harry felt that little pull behind his naval and when he opened his eyes he was standing in the dimly lit basement kitchen of number 12 Grimmauld Place. Sitting around the table was Mrs. Weasley, Tonks, Moody, Ron and Hermione. It looked as though they had just sat down for dinner and were a bit startled by Harry's sudden appearance.
"Oh Harry dear! It's so wonderful to see you again, my word you're so thin! Well we'll just have to take care of that now won't we? I swear it, those Muggles don't know a bit about teenage boys do they, why didn't you write us to tell…' said Mrs. Weasley as she wrapped Harry in a rib crushing hug.
"Blimey mum, he just got here let him breathe a moment won't you? Hey Harry, great to see you, alright now?" said an aggravated Ron. He knew his mother's overbearing ways; and his interruption was with perfect timing as Harry wasn't prepared to answer any questions just yet. Harry sent a look of thanks over to Ron and moved towards the table. His eyes surveyed the room before him and before he could stop himself he felt overcome with grief. He now stood in the place that Sirius once called home. These people sat around his table as though he were just upstairs tending to some household deed, and the thought sickened him. He narrowed his eyes as they fell upon each face that rounded the table, how dare they convene here as if nothing happened? Without a word Harry grasped his trunk and Hedwig's cage and awkwardly spun around to head upstairs. He heard Ron's voice calling after him only to be quieted by Mrs. Weasley's but did not turn around to respond, Harry just pretended he didn't hear anything and clamored up to his room. It wasn't like he would be able to escape Ron for long; they were sharing a room and all. Great, just what he needed right now… questions of how "okay" he felt and feeble attempts to cheer him up. Harry entered the room that he and Ron had shared last summer and was a bit surprised with the aesthetics. The room had undergone drastic changes to its décor despite the normal dank quality that the most ancient and noble house of Black normally possessed. Apparently a lot of work had been put into cleaning up the house as the walls were now a faded white and the linens on the bed and windows were starched and pristine. He could even see the evening sky through the glass, last time there was dirt and grime blocking the view. Harry tossed his things down on the floor and threw himself on the bed lethargically. He hadn't realized how drained he felt until he'd arrived at the house. Maybe if he just went to sleep everything would disappear and when he woke Sirius would be downstairs laughing and waiting for Harry to come say hello. Maybe…
Just as Harry was sliding into sleep he heard a faint knock at the door. Through squinted eyes he could make out a figure coming towards his bed, but he wasn't sure who it was.
"Harry? Are you awake?" It was Hermione and she appeared ready to burst into tears at any moment. Immediately Harry felt that all too common rage again but at the site of her face he released and couldn't bring himself to yell.
"Yeah, I'm here." He said flatly.
"Well, hi… I wanted to check on you, you didn't stay downstairs long enough for me to say hello or anything. You didn't even eat." Harry could hear her voice waver with every other word, she was really struggling not to cry. Finally he sat up to face her and met eyes that looked so aged for someone so young. Her expression reminded him of someone, gaunt and pained but Harry couldn't place it.
"I wasn't really hungry Hermione, I just wanted to sleep. Can't seem to bring myself to eat much these days anyway, you know?" With that Hermione lunged at Harry wrapping her arms tight around his neck. He could feel her tears falling on his neck and soaking his shirt and it left him feeling paralyzed unaware of what to say or do.
Hermione exploded.
"Oh Harry! I'm so sorry, this summer must have been horrible for you and to see all of us just sitting around at his table, oh it would have destroyed me. I have been thinking about what to say to you all summer that might make things easier but the truth is I couldn't come up with anything. I know there isn't anything that can be said. I missed you so much and knowing you were stuck with those horrible people made it even worse. I swear if I had my way you would have just come with me for the summer, or something. Anything. Harry will you be okay, is there anything…"
"Hermione, ' Harry began impatiently, but she went on without breathing.
"…I can do? Please tell me, anything… I, I, I…" For once it seemed that Miss Hermione Granger had officially run out of things to say. Harry was surprised to find he was amused by this and smiled at her.
"Hermione,' he tried again, 'Uh- Thank you. No there isn't anything you can really do, but I appreciate this. More than I can begin to explain… I just don't have much to say right now, to anyone that is. Every time I try to look at anyone here all I can see is his face and I get so angry I can't speak. Heh, er- I know you care but can you loosen that grip a bit, you're bloody bound to kill me." Hermione pulled away from Harry slowly and met his eyes for a moment. She seemed to relax at the sight of his smile and backed away wringing her hands.
"Harry, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to go crazy on you or anything… I just…"
"It's okay. Thank you, really." He said with a smile. Again she seemed to relax more as she studied his face, though the pain behind her eyes was something Harry had never seen before.
"Well, er. Okay. I'll go back downstairs with the others and leave you to sleep then." She made for the door but Harry grabbed her arm to stop her.
"Thanks, oh and thanks for the planner refill. I'm really gonna use that thing, it's going to be the only thing that is going to get me through all the class work this year, and I'll owe it all to you." Her spirits visibly lifted at the sound of this and she beamed back at him as she left the room. That girl, cries and cries and all his reassuring doesn't make her feel any better… but mention homework and her smile gets so big it lights up the entire room.
~*~*~*~
Harry didn't return downstairs at all for the rest of the evening. Instead he opted to face everyone in the morning and he promised himself to do his best to control his temper. After seeing Hermione's reaction to him yesterday, Harry could only imagine how the others would react if he blew up all over them.
The morning came quickly enough and Harry found himself in slightly higher spirits. Though he wasn't sure why he wasn't about to question it since it was the happiest he'd felt all summer. He dressed quickly noticing that Ron wasn't in the room. Ron was never one to deny food whatever time it was so Harry figured he'd already made a beeline for the table; even from upstairs he could smell the bacon and eggs Mrs. Weasley was surely whipping up. There sitting around the table awaiting their breakfast was Remus, Hermione, and Ginny. Ron was already eating.
"Mornshingarry alwighate?" said Ron through a mouthful of eggs as Harry sat down. He smiled at his best friend, after five years he could finally understand Ron's food-in-mouth language.
"Morning Ron, yeah I'm alright. Sorry I didn't stay downstairs last night, I was just tired,' he lied. Before he could continue his conversation with Ron, Mrs. Weasley was heaping mountains of food onto a plate in front of him.
"Here Harry dear, eat up. You're entirely too thin and it will be the death of me…' Harry visibly flinched at the word "death" and Mrs. Weasley had obviously caught it. She burst into tears and threw her arms around his neck sobbing uncontrollably into his shoulder.
"Oh Harry, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean…"
"It's okay Mrs. Weasley. I know you didn't." Harry said quietly. He was desperately trying to conceal the irritation in his voice by keeping his response short. The room had suddenly gone quiet and everyone seemed to be staring in his direction. Finally Harry couldn't take it anymore.
"I'M FINE ALRIGHT? YES, SIRIUS IS DEAD. I REMEMBER! IF EVERYONE WOULD JUST STOP CRYING EVERY SECOND I MIGHT BE ABLE TO GET OVER IT. BUT NO. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE ABLE TO MOVE ON IF ALL ANYONE DOES IS KEEP REMINDING ME? WELL?" Harry's throat went dry and he fought mercilessly against the tears that were forming behind his eyes. His entire body had begun to ache and all he wanted to do was crawl into a corner and pretend none of this was real. Still, the table was silent but now he saw Hermione fighting back tears as well and Mrs. Weasley looked wretched. In the next second they both stood up and walked out of the kitchen without a word, leaving Harry to regret everything he had just said. So much for watching his temper. His eyes fell upon Ron's face first. His ears were a deadly shade of crimson and his eyes wide but cold in anger. Ginny looked equally as furious and Remus just looked deeply saddened.
"What's with you shouting at my mother that way Harry? She didn't mean to upset you, and you damn well know it!" Ron snarled. He dropped his fork onto his plate with a deafening clang and stormed out of the room. Ginny glared at Harry for a moment and then followed suit. Feeling sick Harry stood up and looked Remus in the eyes. He went to speak but Remus beat him to it.
"Harry, I think we need to talk."
"I don't want to talk. I don't want to talk about Sirius, I can't. It all hurts way too much. Why doesn't everyone just understand that? If they could just stop bringing it up I might be able to push it out of my mind but they keep apologizing. IT ISN'T THEIR FAULT HE'S DEAD! IT'S MINE! IT'S MY FAULT. IF I HADN'T…" Harry didn't even realize he had been yelling but Remus' soft tone when he spoke forced him to quiet down so he could hear him.
"Harry, listen. It isn't your fault that Sirius died, you must understand. He loved you very much and when he heard you were in danger there wasn't anything that could have stopped him from going to help save you. Nothing, do you hear me?"
"But, if I hadn't tried to save the day, if I had just practiced my Occlumency better Voldemort wouldn't have been able to get into my mind to plant that dream. I would have never gone to the Department of Mysteries and Sirius would be sitting here with us right now. Don't you see? It is my fault." For the first time since Sirius had died Harry couldn't hold it all in anymore. He collapsed into a chair and cried for what seemed like hours. When he finally looked up from his hands he saw Remus looking at him, tears streaming down his face. That's when Harry realized he wasn't the only one who had lost someone they loved. Sirius had been just as close to Remus as he was to Harry, the weary professor was grieving too.
"I just need time. More time,' choked Harry. They sat there in silence for awhile longer until Harry thought it might be best to go and apologize for his outburst. He knew he had hurt Mrs. Weasley deeply by what he said and the thought of hurting the one woman who had acted as a mother to him tore his heart in two. He found her on the second floor in the room across from the one Hermione and Ginny were occupying. She was sitting on the bed looking off into space.
"Mrs. Weasley?' he asked guiltily 'can I talk to you for a minute?"
"Sure Harry, come in."
"Listen, I just wanted to say I'm sorry for everything I said. I didn't mean to upset you it's just that everything hurts so badly… I just get angry anytime I think of him and how I'll never see him again. I'm really sorry, I er- I don't know what else to say…" Again Harry's throat had gone dry. He was hoping she'd accept the apology quickly because he didn't think he could take much more of talking about Sirius. He still had to find Ron, Ginny, and Hermione and apologize to them as well.
"Harry darling, I wasn't upset by what you said. I understand how you must feel right now. That is why I walked out of the room, do you understand dear? It breaks my heart to see what kind of pain you've had to endure all these years. I love you as though you were my son Harry, and I can't bear to see you hurting. I just can't. So don't you worry, I'm not upset with you at all. I couldn't be." Her voice wavered slightly at the last sentence but she smiled nevertheless. It took Harry a moment to realize he had thrown his arms around her and pulled her into a hug.
"You are the most amazing person I know Mrs. Weasley. Thank you." He let go of her quickly and walked out the door without looking back. Just hearing her say those words had made his heart soar but Harry wasn't accustomed to being told he was loved and was left dumbfounded. Despite his brief reaction he was sure Mrs. Weasley understood. Now only if Ron and Ginny were as understanding, this is where it becomes difficult. But to his own amazement neither of them seemed to be angry when he found them in Ron's room. He explained where he was coming from briefly and both accepted his apologies. Harry suddenly had the suspicion that this was a bit of Hermione's work but silently thanked her. She had a way of smoothing things over sometimes that baffled Harry to no end.
Later in the day as Ron and Harry were entertaining themselves with a game of chess Ginny and Hermione came running in with what looked like letters from Hogwarts.
"They're here! They're here! Oh my gosh, I hope I've done well." Hermione said anxiously. Ron took his letter out her hands with an exaggerated eye roll.
"Honestly Hermione, you know you've gotten perfect O's in everything, why must you go on about it the way you do?"
"Really, Ron you don't know what I've gotten so why don't you just keep quiet.' She snapped. Hermione handed Harry his letter and he torn it open with a heavy sigh.
IDear Mr. Potter,
Congratulations on receiving six O.W.L's with a score of E or higher. A list of courses of which you have been accepted, will accompany your school booklist.
Professor Minerva McGonagall
Deputy Headmistress
Defense Against the Dark Arts – O
Transfiguration – E
Charms – E
Care for Magical Creatures – O
Astronomy – E
Divination – P
Potions – E
Herbology - E
History of Magic - P/I
Apparently Hermione had been reading over his shoulder because she squealed with excitement a second later.
"Harry! Seven O.W.L.'s that's great! Ron, how did you do?"
"I've got five. No more Potions for me this year, can't say I'll miss that greasy git at all." Ron said happily. "Let me guess Hermione, all perfect O's?"
Hermione blushed madly, "Yes, yes. All O's for me. Harry, how are you going to go in for Auror training if you only got an E in Potions? Don't you need an O for that?"
Auror Training, he had forgotten all about that. "Hadn't given it much thought to be honest." Harry knew immediately that had been the wrong thing to say, and to confirm his suspicions Hermione launched into her all too common lecture mode. But what he heard sounded much like: "Blah blah, future, blah blah irresponsible, blah blah slacker." Sometimes the best idea was to just tune Hermione out instead of protesting her speeches. Unfortunately, Ron hadn't figured this out yet.
"Blimey Hermione, give it a rest. Let the man take on one thing at time. I'm sure he'll find a way to get into Auror training. At least he will as long as he doesn't have you yapping in his ear the entire time." Harry laughed to himself, he had to give it to Ron; sometimes his bickering with Hermione was just plain humorous. She didn't find it as amusing and muttered something under her breath about Ron being a prat and stalked out of the room. "Still think that one is a bit mental, ya know?" said an exasperated Ron, 'Anyway, I'm hungry. Want to head downstairs for a bite to eat, dinner won't be ready for hours."
"Sure. But someday you have to tell me how you eat so much and still look like a bean pole." Harry laughed as he playfully punched Ron in the stomach. Maybe things wouldn't be so bad after all, at least he was laughing. They walked down to the kitchen to find the old blue-eyed professor sitting at the head of the table in deep conversation with Lupin. Dumbledore looked up the moment they stepped into the room and smiled at Harry warmly.
"Hello Harry, Ron." Harry couldn't find it in himself to speak though he wasn't sure why. He was glad Ron was standing next to him, if he wasn't it might have made the moment quite a bit more awkward.
"Professor.' Ron replied with a nod and smile. "Nice to see you." Harry still stood in the doorway unmoving but Ron went to look in the pantry for his desired snack. Dumbledore's eyes seemed to be fixed on Harry's as if he were studying them, waiting for him to make the first move. Harry was thankful when it was the professor who spoke again.
"Harry, will you come with me? I have a few things I'd like to talk with you about."
"Sure Professor." He said, his voice cracking a little. He followed the professor into the drawing room and sat down on the sofa carefully. The last time Harry had been in this room he and the rest of the house's occupants were struggling to remove doxies from the draperies. He let his eyes wander to the Black family tapestry purposely to avoid the old man's seemingly clairvoyant gaze. Every time the professor said he needed to speak with Harry, the conversation never went well, this time didn't seem to sound as though it was going to be any different. Immediately his thoughts reverted to those horrible moments in the headmaster's office last term. Harry remembered smashing everything in sight and being so furious with the old man that he could barely see straight. He must have looked deep in thought because Dumbledore touched his shoulder to jar him back to reality.
"Harry, ' he began with a heavy sigh, 'As I'm sure you received my note, there are few things we must discuss and I'm afraid they aren't all of a pleasant nature. I suppose I shall get the worst out of the way and move on from there. It is regarding your inheritance Harry."
"My inheritance?" Harry asked, sincerely confused.
"…Yes Harry, your inheritance of Sirius' estate and all his belongings. Sirius and I had a long conversation last year concerning both his and your future; he wanted to make sure that should anything happen to him during his service to the Order, that everything he owned would then be transferred to you. I do hope you realize he had your best interests at heart and wanted to see that you would be taken care of. "
Harry felt as though someone had drained all the air out of his lungs. He had been so consumed with merely Sirius' death that he hadn't considered that he might be heir to anything his Godfather had owned. He stared blankly at his professor, unknowing of what to say.
"I'm aware that this isn't something you may have wanted to deal with at the moment but I assure you I wouldn't concern you with something I didn't feel to be important. Since you are the new owner of this house, I, on behalf of the Order of Phoenix must ask your permission to continue its use as our headquarters." Dumbledore eyed Harry as if trying to read his next move, Harry barely found his voice to reply.
"You can have it, I don't want it," Harry began quietly, slowly feeling the anger rise in his chest, "Any of it. I never wanted his money or his house. WHY CAN'T I JUST HAVE HIM BACK?! WHY DOES EVERYTHING HAVE TO BE SO DAMN HARD? WHY…' Harry exploded unaware of his surroundings. Once he realized he was yelling, he half expected the headmaster to make attempts to calm him but he was wrong. The old man just sat there patiently, waiting for Harry's burst of emotion to subside before he spoke again. Maybe it was the look in his eyes that forced Harry to cease his uproar, he did not know but suddenly he felt an eerie calm and waited for Dumbledore to continue.
"Along with this house, you have also inherited Sirius' fortune. This brings me to my next topic of discussion. On your birthday you received a box with a set of keys in it. Could you fetch it, so I may explain what they are for?"
"Yeah." Harry said numbly. Without speaking another word he stood and ran up the stairs to his trunk to retrieve the little silver box. He handed it to Dumbledore as he sat back down on the sofa and looked at him blankly. The headmaster removed the keys from their satin bed and gazed at them thoughtfully for a moment before he spoke. Dumbledore fingered the key that Harry had thought to be familiar and leaned it towards Harry.
"This key opens Sirius' vault at Gringotts containing any money he's saved. It is yours to use at your own will and you may keep it with you. However if you should feel that it is something you'd prefer me to keep it for you until it is needed, I would be happy to oblige." Harry nodded, but silently swore he would never ever touch a Sickle that was in that vault. Dumbledore went on, "The second, from what I have been told is the key to every door in this house, except for the front door, as there is no keyhole. It is also for you to keep with you, should you choose to hold on to it." At this moment the professor took a deep sigh and paused for a moment eyeing the last of the keys. Harry looked down at his finger which had swollen and looked to be infected despite his incessant cleaning. If anything was holding his very distant interest it was the story behind this strange key. "This last one, well… I am afraid I do not know what it does. Sirius must have believed it to be important for you to have or he would not have insisted upon my delivering it to you. I just wish I could be of more help in explaining its purpose."
Hearing this left Harry feeling deprived of what might have been a small trace connection him to his godfather. He was sure Dumbledore would have had some long and complex explanation of what the key was to and the like and here he was saying he had no idea. His sulking didn't last very long because the headmaster continued to speak.
"Also, I wanted to be bearer of the great news concerning your Quidditch career, so to speak. Since I have been reinstated as Hogwart's headmaster, I have lifted the ban placed on you barring you from playing. I am also pleased to inform you that you have been made Gryffindor's team captain. I'm sure you'll do wonderfully this season, and I wish you the best luck in finding talented players." The thought of Quidditch smacked Harry in the face. Captain? New players? Oh bloody hell, he was left with half a team this year, only Ron as keeper, Harry himself as seeker. Tryouts were going to be rough.
Harry shook his head as if trying to rid the thoughts of Quidditch from his mind and focused his attention back on the professor. Again Dumbledore had been watching him but this time smiled slightly.
"Don't worry Harry, tryouts will go well enough. I have faith that you are qualified for the position and will have no trouble finding exactly what it is you are looking for." How does he do that? Dumbledore had this way of reading Harry's thoughts as if they were an open book, most of the time he said the right thing to end his confusion as well. At this Professor Dumbledore stood and looked down at Harry, his eyes twinkling slightly. "I'm sorry I must go for now, I will see you at the feast when term starts. For now try to enjoy the rest of your holiday, and Harry…' he paused, 'remember something. There are plenty around you that will gladly be exactly what you need them to be. It is perfectly acceptable for you to need people now, don't shut them out. They care for you a great deal. You must remember to be open with those you love. Always be open." And like a flash of lightning Dumbledore turned and strode out of the room.
When Harry collected himself many minutes later, he walked back into the kitchen and sat down next to Ron. Hermione looked at Harry with worried eyes but said nothing. It was Ron who asked the inevitable question.
"So what was that all about Harry?" he asked innocently.
Harry sighed deciding whether to tell him the truth or not. "I now own this house and all of Sirius' money and stuff." He said flatly, deliberately staring into his hands.
"Well no offense mate, but I swear it… you are probably the sole richest sixteen year old I know."
"RON!" Hermione bellowed.
"What a way to make a fortune…", Harry said bitterly. He quietly thought to himself that he'd give up every cent he had if he could just put things back the way they were. If only…