(A/N- Helloo again! I love you all! And to a certain reviewer (since I
can't remember what your name is) : I doubt that there will be any romance
in this, or at least VERY little, for the simple fact that my character's
fourteen (way under the age of consent anyway) and Legolas is a few
thousand years older than she is. Such and age difference ain't exactly
kosher, you get what I'm saying? I mean, I wouldn't mind if Legolas showed
an interest in me ^-^ , but...it's still kinda creepy.)
"You Hobbits are hungry little guys," I observed, watching as they prepared even more food just a few hours after dinner. It was after dark, and a couple of my buds were now asleep - namely Boromir and Gimli. Gandalf and Aragorn were smoking their pipes (I swear, from the smell, there had to be hashish in those things), and Elfy was laying on his back, staring up at the sky.
"How do you fit all that food in your tiny little bodies?" I asked, watching Merry, Pippin, Frodo, and Sam commence shoveling for the second time that night.
"It's quite easy, actually," Pippin said between huge bites. I shook my head.
"You guys must have amazing metabolism, is all I'm saying. If I ate like that, I'd weigh four hundred pounds," I stated. I was already slightly overweight - just slightly, though, and my body fat percentage was right where it was supposed to be, but I really didn't want to push my luck.
"Metabo-what?" Merry asked, looking completely dumbfounded.
"N-never mind," I said, getting up and leaving them to their food. I needed somebody intelligent to talk to. I surveyed my options. Two were sleeping, two were getting high, and one was stargazing. Taking this into consideration, I made my way over to Legolas.
"Hey dude," I said, sitting down next to him. He didn't reply, nor did he move, or even blink. Weird, his eyes were open. I waved my hand in front of his face. "Yoohoo, pointy-ear guy." Nothing. I turned to Aragorn and Gandalf. "Uh, guys? I know the Elf's supposedly immortal, but I think he's dead."
"What?" Aragorn asked, coming over.
"Well, he's laying here with his eyes open and he's not blinking," I explained. "Did we kill him somehow - he's dead, dude, it's not funny!"
"He- he's not d-dead," Aragorn managed through hysterical laughter. Oh yeah, there was definitely something illegal in that pipe. "Legolas sleeps with his eyes open!"
"Oh. I feel like an ass," I said. "Won't his eyeballs, like, dry out, or something?"
"I don't think so," he said, still snickering. I got an idea.
"What'll happen if I poke him in the eye?"
"Don't you dare," Aragorn scolded, just as I was about to test my theory. "Really, how a young lady your age could think of such an immature thing to do."
"Can I blow in his eye?"
"No."
"Can I drop water in his eye?"
"No."
"Can I-"
"Why would you want to do any of that?"
"...'Cause it'd be funny?"
"Not for Legolas, it wouldn't."
"Yeah, but for me it'd be hysterical." He gave me that 'look'. That unblinking, terrifying, make-you-wanna-crawl-under-your-bed-and-hide look.
"Just don't do anything to Legolas, okay?"
"Yes Sir, Master Chief, Sir!" I chanted loudly, saluting.
"WhadImiss?" Legolas mumbled groggily. "Whydja wake meup?"
"Man, when you're tired you slur your speech!" I giggled. "I'm serious!" I added, recieving that infamous look from Aragorn. "He sounds like he's wasted!" They both looked at me like I was a lunatic. Then again, I kinda was by Middle-Earthen standards.
"You should get some sleep," Aragorn advised.
~~~
"Hey Boromir, guess what?" I said the next day, keeping in stride with him.
"What?" he asked, sounding annoyed.
"I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, and this is how it goes: I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, and this is how it goes: I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, I know a song that gets on-"
"STOP! SINGING!" he shouted.
"Well fine, Mr. Pushy-Pants," I pouted. The remaining Fellowship members snorted in amusement, then proceeded to laugh almost as hysterically as Aragorn had the previous night. Even Boromir snickered despite himself. Legolas was laughing so hard there were tears in his eyes. It was one hell of an accomplishment to get a guy who hardly showed any emotion to laugh that hard.
"I withdraw any former objections to her company," Dwarfie said.
"Woohoo! Go me!" I cheered, prancing around. I grabbed Legolas. "Dance with me, Elfy!"
"Raven? What are you doing?" he asked as I waltzed around with him.
"I'm HYPER!" I crowed. "I have to get out my extra energy! Such a pwetty face!" I cooed, smushing his beautiful face between my hands. I laughed maniacally and trotted up to Gandalf. "Hiya, old dude!"
"'Old dude'?" he repeated, giving me the 'you're-a-moron' look I had now come to expect.
"Are we off to see the wizard? The wonderful Wizard of Oz?" I asked in all hyperactivity. "I hear he is a whiz of a wiz, if ever a whiz there was! If ever oh ever a whiz there was, the Wizard of Oz is one because, because, because, because, BECAUSE - because of the wonderful things he does! MUWAHAHAHAHA!"
If the Fellowship of the Ring had had any doubts about my sanity - or lack thereof - they were now gone.
(A/N- I was hyper when I wrote this chapter, hence Raven's actions. My little brother finds this hillarious, and he's the one credited for the "Mr. Pushy-Pants" thing. He does have the potential for good one-liners, doesn't he?)
"You Hobbits are hungry little guys," I observed, watching as they prepared even more food just a few hours after dinner. It was after dark, and a couple of my buds were now asleep - namely Boromir and Gimli. Gandalf and Aragorn were smoking their pipes (I swear, from the smell, there had to be hashish in those things), and Elfy was laying on his back, staring up at the sky.
"How do you fit all that food in your tiny little bodies?" I asked, watching Merry, Pippin, Frodo, and Sam commence shoveling for the second time that night.
"It's quite easy, actually," Pippin said between huge bites. I shook my head.
"You guys must have amazing metabolism, is all I'm saying. If I ate like that, I'd weigh four hundred pounds," I stated. I was already slightly overweight - just slightly, though, and my body fat percentage was right where it was supposed to be, but I really didn't want to push my luck.
"Metabo-what?" Merry asked, looking completely dumbfounded.
"N-never mind," I said, getting up and leaving them to their food. I needed somebody intelligent to talk to. I surveyed my options. Two were sleeping, two were getting high, and one was stargazing. Taking this into consideration, I made my way over to Legolas.
"Hey dude," I said, sitting down next to him. He didn't reply, nor did he move, or even blink. Weird, his eyes were open. I waved my hand in front of his face. "Yoohoo, pointy-ear guy." Nothing. I turned to Aragorn and Gandalf. "Uh, guys? I know the Elf's supposedly immortal, but I think he's dead."
"What?" Aragorn asked, coming over.
"Well, he's laying here with his eyes open and he's not blinking," I explained. "Did we kill him somehow - he's dead, dude, it's not funny!"
"He- he's not d-dead," Aragorn managed through hysterical laughter. Oh yeah, there was definitely something illegal in that pipe. "Legolas sleeps with his eyes open!"
"Oh. I feel like an ass," I said. "Won't his eyeballs, like, dry out, or something?"
"I don't think so," he said, still snickering. I got an idea.
"What'll happen if I poke him in the eye?"
"Don't you dare," Aragorn scolded, just as I was about to test my theory. "Really, how a young lady your age could think of such an immature thing to do."
"Can I blow in his eye?"
"No."
"Can I drop water in his eye?"
"No."
"Can I-"
"Why would you want to do any of that?"
"...'Cause it'd be funny?"
"Not for Legolas, it wouldn't."
"Yeah, but for me it'd be hysterical." He gave me that 'look'. That unblinking, terrifying, make-you-wanna-crawl-under-your-bed-and-hide look.
"Just don't do anything to Legolas, okay?"
"Yes Sir, Master Chief, Sir!" I chanted loudly, saluting.
"WhadImiss?" Legolas mumbled groggily. "Whydja wake meup?"
"Man, when you're tired you slur your speech!" I giggled. "I'm serious!" I added, recieving that infamous look from Aragorn. "He sounds like he's wasted!" They both looked at me like I was a lunatic. Then again, I kinda was by Middle-Earthen standards.
"You should get some sleep," Aragorn advised.
~~~
"Hey Boromir, guess what?" I said the next day, keeping in stride with him.
"What?" he asked, sounding annoyed.
"I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, and this is how it goes: I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, and this is how it goes: I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, I know a song that gets on-"
"STOP! SINGING!" he shouted.
"Well fine, Mr. Pushy-Pants," I pouted. The remaining Fellowship members snorted in amusement, then proceeded to laugh almost as hysterically as Aragorn had the previous night. Even Boromir snickered despite himself. Legolas was laughing so hard there were tears in his eyes. It was one hell of an accomplishment to get a guy who hardly showed any emotion to laugh that hard.
"I withdraw any former objections to her company," Dwarfie said.
"Woohoo! Go me!" I cheered, prancing around. I grabbed Legolas. "Dance with me, Elfy!"
"Raven? What are you doing?" he asked as I waltzed around with him.
"I'm HYPER!" I crowed. "I have to get out my extra energy! Such a pwetty face!" I cooed, smushing his beautiful face between my hands. I laughed maniacally and trotted up to Gandalf. "Hiya, old dude!"
"'Old dude'?" he repeated, giving me the 'you're-a-moron' look I had now come to expect.
"Are we off to see the wizard? The wonderful Wizard of Oz?" I asked in all hyperactivity. "I hear he is a whiz of a wiz, if ever a whiz there was! If ever oh ever a whiz there was, the Wizard of Oz is one because, because, because, because, BECAUSE - because of the wonderful things he does! MUWAHAHAHAHA!"
If the Fellowship of the Ring had had any doubts about my sanity - or lack thereof - they were now gone.
(A/N- I was hyper when I wrote this chapter, hence Raven's actions. My little brother finds this hillarious, and he's the one credited for the "Mr. Pushy-Pants" thing. He does have the potential for good one-liners, doesn't he?)