(A/N- HIYA, EVERYONE! My dearest Mommy and I just spent the night at the
Cashtown Inn in Gettysburg. It's one of those places that's supposed to be
haunted, but I, unfortunately, niether felt, heard, or saw anything
remotely supernatural. That sucked, 'cause I went there for the ghosts, but
at least the place was nice and comfy. I wanted a ghostie, though.... Oh
well. For those of you who've never been to Gettysburg, I totally recommend
going, for the historical factors and for the numerous "haunted" places to
visit, if you're into that kind of stuff. Try Farnsworth Inn - it's
supposedly the MOST haunted place in Gettysburg, and the food is AWSOME
(Mom and I had dinner there. The game pie sounds and looks disgusting, but
it's SOOOOOOO good, trust me). Sorry for the long intro. By the way, some
stuff may be spelled wrong, and some lines might not be exact, but if you
care, screw you.)
Now we were to an actual scene in the movie - you know, where Boromir's teaching the little dudes to swordfight and Gimli's moaning and groaning about taking the scenic route instead of cutting through the mines. Legolas was off by himself, as usual.
"You're a bit of a loner, Elf-Boy," I said, coming up behind him. "Or are you just too good for us puny mortals?" He turned to me with a puzzled look on his serene Elf face.
"Do I truly come across that way?" he asked. I smiled.
"I was just joking, Elfy," I assured. "You're a sweetie. We all love you." I heard Boromir laughing as Merry and Pippin pounced on him, and turned to watch. It was one of my favorite scenes from the movie, the one that had changed my mind about Boromir being a *total* jerk. You can't be all bad if you can laugh while being attacked by midgets, and then sacrifice your own life to keep them safe later on. I wasn't gonna let him die. Somehow I'd keep that ugly Orc from shooting him. I wasn't sure how I was gonna do it, but... Well, God always looks out for morons and babies, so if I winded up doing something dismally stupid, it'd probably turn out okay. It's when I do smart stuff that everything blows up in my face.
"What is that?" Sam asked. Oh, we were to this part. I let the boys say their lines.
"Nothing, just a whisp of cloud," Gimli said dismissively.
"It's moving fast," Boromir said, recovering from the attack of the munchkins. "Against the wind." I sidled up next to him.
"I know what it is," I stated. "It's-"
"Crebain, from Dunland," Legolas and I said in unison. Boromir gave me a look.
"I do that," I said, as Aragorn gave the fierce, manly order,
"HIDE!" Yep, he's fearless, him.
"Raven, hide!" Legolas yanked me over to hide with him under that bush thingie.
"You realize," I whispered, "that those birdies saw us *way* before we saw them, right?" He clapped his hand over my mouth.
"Shh!" he hissed. I licked his hand, and he jerked it away from my mouth. Hey, I never said that I was mature, did I? A few minutes later the birds flew away to tell Saruman about our whereabouts, and everyone came out of our pathetic excuses for hiding places.
"You licked my hand!" Legolas wiped my saliva off his palm with a mildly disgusted expression.
"You shouldn't have put it near my mouth, then, should you, dippy?"
"Dippy?" he mouthed, looking utterly confused.
"Where to, Merlin?" I called to Gandalf. "The Pass of Caradhras, perhaps?"
"That...was what I was just about to suggest," he said, eyeing me suspiciously.
"Not a good idea, homey," I informed. "'Cause when we get up there, there's gonna be this big honkin' avalanche, and we're gonna have to come back down again anyway."
"I am sure that we will encounter nothing of the sort."
"Fine, don't take my word for it," I muttered. "You're the wizard in this outfit."
~~~
"Just cause Dumbledore doesn't wanna listen to me, I gotta come along and freeze my ass off," I grumbled under my breath as I trudged along with the big, strong, he-men to whom my advice meant precisely dick. Okay, I don't usually bitch, but I was cold, tired, and thirsty, and it wasn't improving my mood to know damn well that I would later be buried in snow, only to come back down the mountain and go into the Tomb of Moria, where I would be no less tired or thirsty.
Frodo stumbled in the snow, and Boromir picked up the ring. I walked up behind him as he admired it.
"It is a strange fate that we should suffer so much fear and doubt...over so small a thing," he said. "Such a little thing..."
"And I'm sure it really starts your engine," I said loudly, snapping him out of his trance, "but it belongs to shorty." I pointed at Frodo. "We'll buy you your own evil jewelry capable of possession when we get to the nearest mall, you dig?" He stared at me. I held out my hand. "Gimme." He grudgingly did so. "Good numbnuts," I said, patting his shoulder. I tossed the ring to the Elijah Wood munchkin. "Live long and prosper, young Jedi." Oops, wrong movie.
After weird looks from the boys, we went on up the mountain. Soon the snow started getting deep and Elfy resorted to walking on top of it.
"Dude, could you do the worm on top of the snow?" I asked, looking up at him. This warranted yet another look from everyone who heard.
"The what?"
"The worm. It's a breakdance move," I explained. That didn't really clear anything up. "Oh well, Bill gets me," I said, taking the pony's face in my hands. "Don't you, you schweet widdle wosie you! Why'd they name you Bill, anyway? I'd name you...Tinkles!" More weird looks. "Binkies?" I offered. Looks. "George? I'll shut up now."
A half-hour later the snow was up to my waist. Now Elfy did his bit.
"There is a fell voice on the air!"
"It's Saruman!" old guy yelled. Isn't it common sense not to yell when there's an overhang of snow right above your head? It causes avalanches, as could be surmised from the fact that lotsa stuff fell from the cliff above us after he said that. Aragorn suggested turning back; the wizard refused and said a weak-ass spell; we got covered in cold white junk. Oh joy.
"Told ya," I said, as we made our way back down the mountain five minutes later.
~~~
"Going to certain doom, going to certain doom," I sang in a fakey- chipper tone, "we're all screwed, and it's Pippin's fault that we're going to certain doom! The ugly shits are gonna kill us-"
"Have I yet mentioned that your singing is quite disconcerting, young miss?" Sam said. "You're scaring me a bit."
"Sammy, you haven't known fear yet," I assured. "Wait till we get into the mine, THEN you'll be scared."
"There is nothing frightening about Dwarves!" Gimli protested hotly as we reached the place where the magic door would appear.
"Yeah, but I've got news for you, Gimsies," I muttered. "It ain't the Dwarves I'm worried about. Say 'friend' in Elvish, old dude!" I called, noticing that Gandalf was now trying the door. He rolled his eyes and tried it, then gave me this look when it worked. In fact, they all gave me looks.
"How did she know that?" Aragorn demanded.
"I told you she was clairvoyant," Legolas said weakly.
"Yep, I'm special," I chirped, putting my arm around his waist and laying my head on his shoulder. "Don'tcha love me?" Elfy gave me a scared look and wriggled out of my grasp. I shrugged. "Well, c'mon boyas! Let's go to our doom!" I pointed heroically into the darkness of the mine. "ONWARD!"
Now we were to an actual scene in the movie - you know, where Boromir's teaching the little dudes to swordfight and Gimli's moaning and groaning about taking the scenic route instead of cutting through the mines. Legolas was off by himself, as usual.
"You're a bit of a loner, Elf-Boy," I said, coming up behind him. "Or are you just too good for us puny mortals?" He turned to me with a puzzled look on his serene Elf face.
"Do I truly come across that way?" he asked. I smiled.
"I was just joking, Elfy," I assured. "You're a sweetie. We all love you." I heard Boromir laughing as Merry and Pippin pounced on him, and turned to watch. It was one of my favorite scenes from the movie, the one that had changed my mind about Boromir being a *total* jerk. You can't be all bad if you can laugh while being attacked by midgets, and then sacrifice your own life to keep them safe later on. I wasn't gonna let him die. Somehow I'd keep that ugly Orc from shooting him. I wasn't sure how I was gonna do it, but... Well, God always looks out for morons and babies, so if I winded up doing something dismally stupid, it'd probably turn out okay. It's when I do smart stuff that everything blows up in my face.
"What is that?" Sam asked. Oh, we were to this part. I let the boys say their lines.
"Nothing, just a whisp of cloud," Gimli said dismissively.
"It's moving fast," Boromir said, recovering from the attack of the munchkins. "Against the wind." I sidled up next to him.
"I know what it is," I stated. "It's-"
"Crebain, from Dunland," Legolas and I said in unison. Boromir gave me a look.
"I do that," I said, as Aragorn gave the fierce, manly order,
"HIDE!" Yep, he's fearless, him.
"Raven, hide!" Legolas yanked me over to hide with him under that bush thingie.
"You realize," I whispered, "that those birdies saw us *way* before we saw them, right?" He clapped his hand over my mouth.
"Shh!" he hissed. I licked his hand, and he jerked it away from my mouth. Hey, I never said that I was mature, did I? A few minutes later the birds flew away to tell Saruman about our whereabouts, and everyone came out of our pathetic excuses for hiding places.
"You licked my hand!" Legolas wiped my saliva off his palm with a mildly disgusted expression.
"You shouldn't have put it near my mouth, then, should you, dippy?"
"Dippy?" he mouthed, looking utterly confused.
"Where to, Merlin?" I called to Gandalf. "The Pass of Caradhras, perhaps?"
"That...was what I was just about to suggest," he said, eyeing me suspiciously.
"Not a good idea, homey," I informed. "'Cause when we get up there, there's gonna be this big honkin' avalanche, and we're gonna have to come back down again anyway."
"I am sure that we will encounter nothing of the sort."
"Fine, don't take my word for it," I muttered. "You're the wizard in this outfit."
~~~
"Just cause Dumbledore doesn't wanna listen to me, I gotta come along and freeze my ass off," I grumbled under my breath as I trudged along with the big, strong, he-men to whom my advice meant precisely dick. Okay, I don't usually bitch, but I was cold, tired, and thirsty, and it wasn't improving my mood to know damn well that I would later be buried in snow, only to come back down the mountain and go into the Tomb of Moria, where I would be no less tired or thirsty.
Frodo stumbled in the snow, and Boromir picked up the ring. I walked up behind him as he admired it.
"It is a strange fate that we should suffer so much fear and doubt...over so small a thing," he said. "Such a little thing..."
"And I'm sure it really starts your engine," I said loudly, snapping him out of his trance, "but it belongs to shorty." I pointed at Frodo. "We'll buy you your own evil jewelry capable of possession when we get to the nearest mall, you dig?" He stared at me. I held out my hand. "Gimme." He grudgingly did so. "Good numbnuts," I said, patting his shoulder. I tossed the ring to the Elijah Wood munchkin. "Live long and prosper, young Jedi." Oops, wrong movie.
After weird looks from the boys, we went on up the mountain. Soon the snow started getting deep and Elfy resorted to walking on top of it.
"Dude, could you do the worm on top of the snow?" I asked, looking up at him. This warranted yet another look from everyone who heard.
"The what?"
"The worm. It's a breakdance move," I explained. That didn't really clear anything up. "Oh well, Bill gets me," I said, taking the pony's face in my hands. "Don't you, you schweet widdle wosie you! Why'd they name you Bill, anyway? I'd name you...Tinkles!" More weird looks. "Binkies?" I offered. Looks. "George? I'll shut up now."
A half-hour later the snow was up to my waist. Now Elfy did his bit.
"There is a fell voice on the air!"
"It's Saruman!" old guy yelled. Isn't it common sense not to yell when there's an overhang of snow right above your head? It causes avalanches, as could be surmised from the fact that lotsa stuff fell from the cliff above us after he said that. Aragorn suggested turning back; the wizard refused and said a weak-ass spell; we got covered in cold white junk. Oh joy.
"Told ya," I said, as we made our way back down the mountain five minutes later.
~~~
"Going to certain doom, going to certain doom," I sang in a fakey- chipper tone, "we're all screwed, and it's Pippin's fault that we're going to certain doom! The ugly shits are gonna kill us-"
"Have I yet mentioned that your singing is quite disconcerting, young miss?" Sam said. "You're scaring me a bit."
"Sammy, you haven't known fear yet," I assured. "Wait till we get into the mine, THEN you'll be scared."
"There is nothing frightening about Dwarves!" Gimli protested hotly as we reached the place where the magic door would appear.
"Yeah, but I've got news for you, Gimsies," I muttered. "It ain't the Dwarves I'm worried about. Say 'friend' in Elvish, old dude!" I called, noticing that Gandalf was now trying the door. He rolled his eyes and tried it, then gave me this look when it worked. In fact, they all gave me looks.
"How did she know that?" Aragorn demanded.
"I told you she was clairvoyant," Legolas said weakly.
"Yep, I'm special," I chirped, putting my arm around his waist and laying my head on his shoulder. "Don'tcha love me?" Elfy gave me a scared look and wriggled out of my grasp. I shrugged. "Well, c'mon boyas! Let's go to our doom!" I pointed heroically into the darkness of the mine. "ONWARD!"