Disclaimer: It's mine, all mine. The only things that aren't are the
things belonging to Tolkien.
8 - Leather, Blonde Hair, and A Whole Lotta Gold
Black strolled down the aisle of the barn at the Prancing Pony, running a careful eye over all the horses. She made a mental note to herself and went back to the Inn.
"Barliman!" she shouted as she entered the pub. "You fat old man," she whispered. "Barliman!"
A large round man with a mustache and beard came waddling out to the counter.
"What is it?" he said in a gruff voice.
"I'm here to pay my tab," Black said.
Old Barliman smiled. "How much of it?"
"All of it."
"Ha! You couldn't afford to pay half of it!"
"Try me," said Black, pulling out a not-so-very-small brown pouch. It let out a large thud as it hit the wooden countertop. Barliman's mouth hung open.
"Keep the change," she winked and walked back up to her room.
"Man!" she shouted. "I love being a thief!"
As the woman entered the room, the other three were about to leave.
"Is it too late for breakfast?" asked Red.
"Yes," Black told her.
"Oh good. Lunch."
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Later that day the women went for a walk through the village. They eventually arrived at a small thatch roof hut. In the front garden the woman Violet was picking tomatoes.
"Hello," she greeted them.
"Hey, Vi," said Green.
"Here to check on the stash," Black told her.
"Great. Just gimme a second while I put these tomatoes away." Violet picked up her basket and went inside. The others followed.
The house was actually much larger than it appeared from the road, and was very nicely furnished compared to its rough shell.
"Okay, this way," said Violet, leading them to the back of the house, into a room with a large furnace. She pressed something on the back of the stove, and it suddenly began to move. Slowly it slid away to reveal a trap door with steps leading down to an underground chamber.
"Watch your head," Violet told them as they descended.
It was a large, dirt-floored room, brightly lit by seven torches mounted on the walls. Filling the room were big wooden chests with heavy gold or metal latches.
"Here are the keys," said Violet, handing Black a set of ten different keys on a silver ring.
"Wow," Blue gaped. "Are all these filled with gold?"
"More or less," Violet answered. "These are mostly jewels, trinkets, and the like. Those rather large ones over there are filled with armor and weapons. I don't know where she keeps the rest."
"The.the rest?" stuttered Blue. "There is more?"
"Well, yeah," said Red. "We can't keep all the loot in one place, can we? That'd just be stupid. What if someone found it?"
"Inventory," Black called out. "Red, you take the far left corner, Green, far right, Blue, count what's in that corner over there, I'll take this one." She took out four pieces of parchment and some quills and passed them out to everyone.
"Is this really necessary?" Violet asked. "I already know exactly how much is in here."
"I'm sure you do," Black told her. "But thieves will be thieves." She smiled. "I just have to make sure you aren't cheating me."
"Humph," grunted Violet, clearly annoyed with the lack of trust.
"Hey guys," called Red, "look at me!"
She threw her cloak and hood back for the first time. She was clad in thick shiny armor. In her hand she held a large spear and in the other a big round shield. On her head was a silver plated helm.
"I'm Xena, Warrior Princess!"
"Red!" shouted Black. "Take that off! You're dangerous enough as it is!"
"Red," gasped Blue as Red pulled of the helm. "You have blonde hair."
"Yeah," Red confirmed.
"I always thought you had red hair."
"Why?"
"Well, because your name is Red. I just assumed you had red hair."
"I just like Red," she shrugged.
Blue looked at Red suspiciously, "How do I know that's it's real color?"
"Okay, okay," Black sighed. "Red has blonde hair, Green has black, Fish has brown, I'm a dirty blonde-no not that kind of dirty-can we just continue counting?"
"You have black hair?" Red asked Green. "I always pictured you as more of a brunette."
"If Green has black hair, why doesn't she have the black cloak?" asked Blue.
"Because I am Black, and she likes green, and we don't really go by hair color," answered Black. "If we did you'd have to dye your hair blue." Blue shuttered and turned away. "Plus, I just look better in black leather." Black added with a smile.
"Leather?"
"I don't like leather," said Green.
"What's with the leather?" asked Blue.
"You know," said Black, "the leather."
"What leather?"
"Come on, Red gave you the form."
"I never got any form."
"Yes you did. Red gave it to you the week you first got here."
"I don't have any form."
"Red," Black looked at the woman in the corner. "Please tell me you gave her the leather form."
"Of course I did," Red said. Then she looked down at the floor. "Shoot!" she muttered.
"What was that?"
"Ach-oo!" Red cried, trying to cover herself.
"You didn't give it to her, did you?"
"Green has it," Red told her, attempting to shift the blame.
"No I don't," Green said honestly.
"You probably left it in your pocket," said Red.
"I don't have any pockets."
"Yes you do. You've got that hidden one in your cloak."
"That's you!"
"Oh yeah."
"So where's the form?" asked Black again.
"I don't have it," Red insisted. "Check your pockets, Green."
"I don't have any!"
All of the sudden something small and green shot out of Red's cloak.
"Come back here!" she yelled, darting after it.
The little green man ran all around the room, waving a piece of paper in his hand. He ran past Black laughing. Black snatched the paper from him as he went by.
"Oh look," she said, "a leather order form. I wonder where that came from?"
"Thanks, Francisco," mumbled Red as her LGM sniggered at her. "That's it!" she spat. "No more green eggs and ham for you!"
The little green man stopped laughing and started muttering angrily.
"I'm not wearing any blue leather, if that's what you're thinking," said Blue.
"No, I guess not," sighed Black. "It really wouldn't be appropriate, would it? But don't worry, we'll find something."
"I've got clothes."
"Don't worry about it," Black waved her off. "Keep working."
The rest of the day, Blue kept shooting skeptical glares at Black.
"Ain't wearing no blue leather," she muttered.
- - - - - - - -
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8 - Leather, Blonde Hair, and A Whole Lotta Gold
Black strolled down the aisle of the barn at the Prancing Pony, running a careful eye over all the horses. She made a mental note to herself and went back to the Inn.
"Barliman!" she shouted as she entered the pub. "You fat old man," she whispered. "Barliman!"
A large round man with a mustache and beard came waddling out to the counter.
"What is it?" he said in a gruff voice.
"I'm here to pay my tab," Black said.
Old Barliman smiled. "How much of it?"
"All of it."
"Ha! You couldn't afford to pay half of it!"
"Try me," said Black, pulling out a not-so-very-small brown pouch. It let out a large thud as it hit the wooden countertop. Barliman's mouth hung open.
"Keep the change," she winked and walked back up to her room.
"Man!" she shouted. "I love being a thief!"
As the woman entered the room, the other three were about to leave.
"Is it too late for breakfast?" asked Red.
"Yes," Black told her.
"Oh good. Lunch."
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Later that day the women went for a walk through the village. They eventually arrived at a small thatch roof hut. In the front garden the woman Violet was picking tomatoes.
"Hello," she greeted them.
"Hey, Vi," said Green.
"Here to check on the stash," Black told her.
"Great. Just gimme a second while I put these tomatoes away." Violet picked up her basket and went inside. The others followed.
The house was actually much larger than it appeared from the road, and was very nicely furnished compared to its rough shell.
"Okay, this way," said Violet, leading them to the back of the house, into a room with a large furnace. She pressed something on the back of the stove, and it suddenly began to move. Slowly it slid away to reveal a trap door with steps leading down to an underground chamber.
"Watch your head," Violet told them as they descended.
It was a large, dirt-floored room, brightly lit by seven torches mounted on the walls. Filling the room were big wooden chests with heavy gold or metal latches.
"Here are the keys," said Violet, handing Black a set of ten different keys on a silver ring.
"Wow," Blue gaped. "Are all these filled with gold?"
"More or less," Violet answered. "These are mostly jewels, trinkets, and the like. Those rather large ones over there are filled with armor and weapons. I don't know where she keeps the rest."
"The.the rest?" stuttered Blue. "There is more?"
"Well, yeah," said Red. "We can't keep all the loot in one place, can we? That'd just be stupid. What if someone found it?"
"Inventory," Black called out. "Red, you take the far left corner, Green, far right, Blue, count what's in that corner over there, I'll take this one." She took out four pieces of parchment and some quills and passed them out to everyone.
"Is this really necessary?" Violet asked. "I already know exactly how much is in here."
"I'm sure you do," Black told her. "But thieves will be thieves." She smiled. "I just have to make sure you aren't cheating me."
"Humph," grunted Violet, clearly annoyed with the lack of trust.
"Hey guys," called Red, "look at me!"
She threw her cloak and hood back for the first time. She was clad in thick shiny armor. In her hand she held a large spear and in the other a big round shield. On her head was a silver plated helm.
"I'm Xena, Warrior Princess!"
"Red!" shouted Black. "Take that off! You're dangerous enough as it is!"
"Red," gasped Blue as Red pulled of the helm. "You have blonde hair."
"Yeah," Red confirmed.
"I always thought you had red hair."
"Why?"
"Well, because your name is Red. I just assumed you had red hair."
"I just like Red," she shrugged.
Blue looked at Red suspiciously, "How do I know that's it's real color?"
"Okay, okay," Black sighed. "Red has blonde hair, Green has black, Fish has brown, I'm a dirty blonde-no not that kind of dirty-can we just continue counting?"
"You have black hair?" Red asked Green. "I always pictured you as more of a brunette."
"If Green has black hair, why doesn't she have the black cloak?" asked Blue.
"Because I am Black, and she likes green, and we don't really go by hair color," answered Black. "If we did you'd have to dye your hair blue." Blue shuttered and turned away. "Plus, I just look better in black leather." Black added with a smile.
"Leather?"
"I don't like leather," said Green.
"What's with the leather?" asked Blue.
"You know," said Black, "the leather."
"What leather?"
"Come on, Red gave you the form."
"I never got any form."
"Yes you did. Red gave it to you the week you first got here."
"I don't have any form."
"Red," Black looked at the woman in the corner. "Please tell me you gave her the leather form."
"Of course I did," Red said. Then she looked down at the floor. "Shoot!" she muttered.
"What was that?"
"Ach-oo!" Red cried, trying to cover herself.
"You didn't give it to her, did you?"
"Green has it," Red told her, attempting to shift the blame.
"No I don't," Green said honestly.
"You probably left it in your pocket," said Red.
"I don't have any pockets."
"Yes you do. You've got that hidden one in your cloak."
"That's you!"
"Oh yeah."
"So where's the form?" asked Black again.
"I don't have it," Red insisted. "Check your pockets, Green."
"I don't have any!"
All of the sudden something small and green shot out of Red's cloak.
"Come back here!" she yelled, darting after it.
The little green man ran all around the room, waving a piece of paper in his hand. He ran past Black laughing. Black snatched the paper from him as he went by.
"Oh look," she said, "a leather order form. I wonder where that came from?"
"Thanks, Francisco," mumbled Red as her LGM sniggered at her. "That's it!" she spat. "No more green eggs and ham for you!"
The little green man stopped laughing and started muttering angrily.
"I'm not wearing any blue leather, if that's what you're thinking," said Blue.
"No, I guess not," sighed Black. "It really wouldn't be appropriate, would it? But don't worry, we'll find something."
"I've got clothes."
"Don't worry about it," Black waved her off. "Keep working."
The rest of the day, Blue kept shooting skeptical glares at Black.
"Ain't wearing no blue leather," she muttered.
- - - - - - - -
Getting better? Not really? Tell me by clicking that little button right down there! Come on, you know you want to!