Disclaimer: LOTR is not mine.
Note: " I know the voices aren't real, but they've got some pretty god ideas" - T-shirt
13 - Trouble in the Forest
Clouds moved in to cover the sun in the afternoon of the fourth day.
"Tut, tut, looks like rain," clucked Green.
When they came upon a woody ridge surrounded by boulders, the women stopped and dismounted.
"Why are we stopping?" asked Blue.
"This is the Hoard," Black replied.
"The what? What is h-hoard?" Blue stuttered.
Instead of answering, Black, Green and Red approached a very large rock resting against the wall of the ridge. They all got beside it and dug their shoulders in.
"Heave!" chanted Red, "Ho!"
The rock began to move.
It rolled out of the way to reveal another stone embedded into the wall itself. In the right side was a small hole.
Green bent down and stuck her hand inside her boot. She seemed to be searching for something, but when she came up empty handed she cursed. "Damn it! I must have locked the key inside! $h!^"
"What?" snapped Black.
Blue was looking bewildered, especially since the other women had just used several words she did not know. Elvish was her native language, and a lot of the words the women used in times like this she had never learned. But something told her they were not nice words.
"This was your one %*$&!^ responsibility!" Black hissed.
"This is the entrance to an old troll cave," Red whispered to Blue. "It holds the rest of our loot, and all the stuff the trolls collected. Green installed a lock in the door so no one else could ever get in. She had the only key."
"I'm sorry!" Green pleaded.
"That's not b-------g good enough! Couldn't you use that d@#n skeleton key of yours?" Black said.
"It won't work on this lock! Listen, just give me a couple of minutes and I'll pick our bleating way in."
"But you said yourself this lock was un-pickable!"
"It is."
"Then how the h@!! are you going to get in?"
"You forget who I am. I made this lock. I know how it works. If I say I can get it, I can. Savvy?"
"What does--" Blue started to ask softly when Black interrupted, asking the same question much louder and much more colorfully.
"What the h#!! does savvy mean!"
"Understand? Get it? Catch my drift? Compren--"
"Okay, okay! Just get us the h#!! inside!"
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Blue, Black and Red sat hidden in a patch of bushes, waiting for Green to pick the lock.
"Green use to pick locks for a living," Red told Blue.
"How long do you think it'll be until it rains?" Black mused.
"Two hours and forty five minutes," Blue answered.
"How do you know?" asked Red.
"I can sense when it's going to rain. It's just this thing I could do since I was little. No big de--"
"Shh!"
There was a rustling of leaves and the three women hunched lower in the bushes.
"What do you mean you lost it?" came a soft male voice.
"I just don't have it anymore," answered another male.
"Ooh, Gandalf's gonna kill you," whispered a younger one.
Black ventured a peek through the branches and saw four short (three-four feet tall) figures and one tall one.
"Those look like hobbits," she muttered.
The sun sent a brief jet of light through the trees, and Black identified the four small figures as the same four hobbits they had robbed days earlier. And the man was the one Red was with in the pub.
"Sh!%!" she cursed as she crouched back down.
"I can't believe you lost the Ring. Frodo, you idiot," said one of the hobbits.
Ring? Thought Black.
"We're all going to die now. Thanks, Frodo."
"How did you let a Black Rider take it from you? We were with you the entire time!"
"It wasn't a Black Rider," insisted Frodo. "I think it was that black hooded woman we ran into on the road, when that little green thing was running around."
Oh this can't be good, Black thought.
"Frodo," said the man, "this is important. If Sauron finds the Ring, he will cover all the world in a second darkness. He will conquer the world. Do you remember what the woman looked like?"
"I don't know, she had a hood on. It covered her face. So did the others."
"Others?"
"Yes. There were four women, all in different colored cloaks."
"What colors?"
Please don't remember. Please don't remember, Black pleaded.
"Black, blue, red and.green."
Sh^t!
"Red?" asked the man. "You didn't by chance see these same women in Bree?"
"I don't remember."
Thank God.
"We must send word to Master Elrond."
"But we're six days from Rivendell. We'll never make it!"
Suddenly an Elf came riding up on a great white horse.
How ironic, thought Black.
"Glorfindel!" cried the man.
"Aragorn!" cried the Elf. "What is going on?"
"Oh, so that's his name," Red muttered.
"Someone has taken the Ring from Frodo," explained Aragorn. "You must inform Elrond: four women in colored cloaks."
"Women? That is most queer."
"Queer indeed, but time is precious. Please. Ride to Rivendell and alert Lord Elrond."
Glorfindel nodded and spurred his horse away. The man and the hobbits ran into the brush after the Elf, and made their way to the Elven city.
Not good, not good, not good, Black chanted silently.
"What did you do?" asked Red.
Just then the sky ripped opened, and Johnny Depp fell out! No, just kidding, but that would be nice. Anyway.
The sky ripped opened and a sheet of rain came crashing down.
"To the cave!" shouted Black over a crack of thunder.
The women ran through the trees, jumping bushes and dodging shrubs.
"I thought you said we had two hours until it rained!" shouted Black.
"So I lied!" Blue shouted back.
Note: " I know the voices aren't real, but they've got some pretty god ideas" - T-shirt
13 - Trouble in the Forest
Clouds moved in to cover the sun in the afternoon of the fourth day.
"Tut, tut, looks like rain," clucked Green.
When they came upon a woody ridge surrounded by boulders, the women stopped and dismounted.
"Why are we stopping?" asked Blue.
"This is the Hoard," Black replied.
"The what? What is h-hoard?" Blue stuttered.
Instead of answering, Black, Green and Red approached a very large rock resting against the wall of the ridge. They all got beside it and dug their shoulders in.
"Heave!" chanted Red, "Ho!"
The rock began to move.
It rolled out of the way to reveal another stone embedded into the wall itself. In the right side was a small hole.
Green bent down and stuck her hand inside her boot. She seemed to be searching for something, but when she came up empty handed she cursed. "Damn it! I must have locked the key inside! $h!^"
"What?" snapped Black.
Blue was looking bewildered, especially since the other women had just used several words she did not know. Elvish was her native language, and a lot of the words the women used in times like this she had never learned. But something told her they were not nice words.
"This was your one %*$&!^ responsibility!" Black hissed.
"This is the entrance to an old troll cave," Red whispered to Blue. "It holds the rest of our loot, and all the stuff the trolls collected. Green installed a lock in the door so no one else could ever get in. She had the only key."
"I'm sorry!" Green pleaded.
"That's not b-------g good enough! Couldn't you use that d@#n skeleton key of yours?" Black said.
"It won't work on this lock! Listen, just give me a couple of minutes and I'll pick our bleating way in."
"But you said yourself this lock was un-pickable!"
"It is."
"Then how the h@!! are you going to get in?"
"You forget who I am. I made this lock. I know how it works. If I say I can get it, I can. Savvy?"
"What does--" Blue started to ask softly when Black interrupted, asking the same question much louder and much more colorfully.
"What the h#!! does savvy mean!"
"Understand? Get it? Catch my drift? Compren--"
"Okay, okay! Just get us the h#!! inside!"
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Blue, Black and Red sat hidden in a patch of bushes, waiting for Green to pick the lock.
"Green use to pick locks for a living," Red told Blue.
"How long do you think it'll be until it rains?" Black mused.
"Two hours and forty five minutes," Blue answered.
"How do you know?" asked Red.
"I can sense when it's going to rain. It's just this thing I could do since I was little. No big de--"
"Shh!"
There was a rustling of leaves and the three women hunched lower in the bushes.
"What do you mean you lost it?" came a soft male voice.
"I just don't have it anymore," answered another male.
"Ooh, Gandalf's gonna kill you," whispered a younger one.
Black ventured a peek through the branches and saw four short (three-four feet tall) figures and one tall one.
"Those look like hobbits," she muttered.
The sun sent a brief jet of light through the trees, and Black identified the four small figures as the same four hobbits they had robbed days earlier. And the man was the one Red was with in the pub.
"Sh!%!" she cursed as she crouched back down.
"I can't believe you lost the Ring. Frodo, you idiot," said one of the hobbits.
Ring? Thought Black.
"We're all going to die now. Thanks, Frodo."
"How did you let a Black Rider take it from you? We were with you the entire time!"
"It wasn't a Black Rider," insisted Frodo. "I think it was that black hooded woman we ran into on the road, when that little green thing was running around."
Oh this can't be good, Black thought.
"Frodo," said the man, "this is important. If Sauron finds the Ring, he will cover all the world in a second darkness. He will conquer the world. Do you remember what the woman looked like?"
"I don't know, she had a hood on. It covered her face. So did the others."
"Others?"
"Yes. There were four women, all in different colored cloaks."
"What colors?"
Please don't remember. Please don't remember, Black pleaded.
"Black, blue, red and.green."
Sh^t!
"Red?" asked the man. "You didn't by chance see these same women in Bree?"
"I don't remember."
Thank God.
"We must send word to Master Elrond."
"But we're six days from Rivendell. We'll never make it!"
Suddenly an Elf came riding up on a great white horse.
How ironic, thought Black.
"Glorfindel!" cried the man.
"Aragorn!" cried the Elf. "What is going on?"
"Oh, so that's his name," Red muttered.
"Someone has taken the Ring from Frodo," explained Aragorn. "You must inform Elrond: four women in colored cloaks."
"Women? That is most queer."
"Queer indeed, but time is precious. Please. Ride to Rivendell and alert Lord Elrond."
Glorfindel nodded and spurred his horse away. The man and the hobbits ran into the brush after the Elf, and made their way to the Elven city.
Not good, not good, not good, Black chanted silently.
"What did you do?" asked Red.
Just then the sky ripped opened, and Johnny Depp fell out! No, just kidding, but that would be nice. Anyway.
The sky ripped opened and a sheet of rain came crashing down.
"To the cave!" shouted Black over a crack of thunder.
The women ran through the trees, jumping bushes and dodging shrubs.
"I thought you said we had two hours until it rained!" shouted Black.
"So I lied!" Blue shouted back.