This is just a little thing I thought about adding a while ago. People really seemed to like this story, and when I wrote this poem, I looked back on it and though; 'hmm, this'll be good for the story', so, I added some thoughts by Lizzie, and presto! Another chapter. Enjoy. I don't think they'll be any more of these, unless I think of something to add. Remember, that's how WCHB started.
____________________________________________________________
Fine Line
Chapter 2: My Poem to You
Why am I doing this?
Am I crazy?
I've never done anything like this before, never. But, this is special. A special occasion. It deserves something special. Something different.
Something unique, just like him.
So I guess that's why I did it, for him. Well, of course I did, but I also did it for me, because I needed it. But today, this will be for him.
I hope he likes it. I'm sure he will. He liked everything I did. I was lucky.
He was special.
But I still can't help but wonder if he'll like it. It's from my heart. I closed my eyes, and imagined him, and the words just flowed. That's never happened to me before. It just proves how much of an effect he still has on me.
Even after all this time.
I place the piece of paper in an envelope and seal it. I intend to break the seal soon, so I don't now why I bothered in the first place. But then, I reason with myself, it makes it all the more special, if it's sealed.
I pick up the pen again and intend to write something more on the envelope, but my mothers' voice stops me.
"Lizzie, sweetie? Are you ready, we should leave soon, it'll be dark before long."
Good point. It's four o'clock. I left this until the last minute. I didn't want to be there when everyone else was. I wanted to be alone...with him.
"I'm coming," I yell down, and she seems satisfied with my answer, because I hear nothing in response.
I pick the pen up yet again, and set it to the paper.
The words come easy, just like they did before. It needs no effort. He gives me all the inspiration I need.
'To Gordo, my first, my last, and my only love
Forever yours, Lizzie'
That's appropriate, isn't it? That's what's in my heart, that's where it came from, much like the words incased in the envelope, ready for me to read.
I re-read the words for another time, and I nod my head slightly in approval.
I'm ready now, it's time.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
The ride there was smooth and uneventful. My mother didn't say a word to me, knowing I needed silence. I was grateful to her for respecting that.
We got to our destination, and I got out alone. My mother gave me a quick goodbye and told me she'd be back in two hours. She knew I needed time, another thing I was grateful for. Although, I wish she had given me more of it.
I strode forward purposefully through the gates to my destination, flowers and letter grasped firmly in either hand.
I breathed a sigh of relief when I reached there and no one was around. It was now four thirty, they must have all gone home.
I was alone.
And I'm glad.
I sat down on the soft, dewy grass and placed the flowers down beside me. White roses, like last time.
I lifted my fingers and placed them onto cool marble, tracing the letters carved there;
* * * * * * * *
David Gordon
1987 - 2003
Some heroes are born, destined He was a hero by choice And we will never forget it
R.I.P
* * * * * * * *
My fingers were cold when I took them off the stone. The chilly air was why though, not because of the marble, or for any other reason.
"Hey Gordo," I whispered, not shedding a single tear. I was being brave today, and I was grateful for that. I was grateful for a lot of things, I had found, ever since that day.
"Can you believe it's been a year?" I asked, as if expecting an answer. I was actually quite upset when I didn't receive one.
"I wanted to thank you for saving me the other day," I told him.
Two days prior, I had been walking down the street. I was ready to cross the road, because it looked like no traffic was coming, when a funny sensation filled the pit of my stomach, and made me stop for just a moment. And in that moment, a car came zooming past the bend at breakneck speed. It wouldn't have been able to stop if I had crossed. I would have been killed. I knew it was Gordo who had stopped me, my guardian angel.
"I bet you were wondering when I was coming, huh?" Again, I paused, waiting for a reply. I pretend he gave me one and moved on.
"I was just waiting until everyone left, so I could have you all to myself. I've got so much to tell you, I don't even know where to start," and for the next half hour or so I relayed to my dead best friend in full detail what had happened in my life in the year he had been absent. I made it all sound like he had just simply been away on holiday all this time, and I was just catching up on all the goss.
I know it was stupid, but somehow, it made it easier.
"So," I finished. "I guess you're all caught up now. I don't think I left anything out. Oh, I did tell you that Kate is actually nice to me, right? Oh yeah, of course I did, that was one of the first things I told you. Can you believe it though? After all these years, and now she told me that she was, quote; "stupid and immature". It might be nice to be friends with her again, but after everything she did to us, and to you, I don't think I could trust her again, what about you?" I waited for a reply that would never come.
"I guess I might try and see what will happen."
I waited a few seconds, trying to think if I left anything else out.
"Oh my gosh, I forgot to tell you the best news. Miranda and Larry got together half way through the year. He was really there for her after you..." I sighed.
"I wish I had someone."
I stopped for a second to mourn, but then I was back.
"Do you remember how we tried so hard that last year to get those two together. We did everything, and when they finally did, Miranda told me that she also tried everything to get us together. I feel so bad that it didn't work. It would have been great. I always picture it, us together. I like thinking about it, it's comforting."
And it was, it helped take my mind of the fact that he would never be coming back. I would play out little scenarios in my mind, where he had survived the crash and we were living happily ever after. Sometimes we had kids in the picture, sometimes it was just us. But one thing that did not change was the fact that we were happy. It remained constant throughout every fantasy. It was nice, even just imagining it.
I sighed again, but a different sigh to last time. It wasn't sad, or anything bad, really. It was wistful. And a realisation all at the same time.
It was time, to read the letter to him. Well, it wasn't so much a letter, as a poem, but it said more than any real words could, so I was satisfied.
I picked up the envelope that I had placed on the ground before. I read what I wrote to him on the front out loud, and then I opened it, taking a single sheet of paper out and unfolding it.
I cleared my throat, and began speaking, saying the words in poem form that I should have said ages ago. When he was still alive.
____________________________________________ ____________________________________________
Life was when I lived for you Love was when I loved your dearly Hope was when I hoped you'd come back Despair was when I knew you wouldn't
Life goes on I will love again I will keep hoping for brighter days But my despair at your disappearance will remain forever
When you lived, I lived When you loved, I loved When you hoped, I hoped When you were in despair, so was I
When you cried, I cried When you laughed, so did I Is it fair that you're gone? No, it isn't Do I have the strength to go on? Yes...I do
When you lived, I lived When you loved, I loved When you hoped, I hoped When you were in despair, so was I But where you died, I shall live on...
Because you helped me...
____________________________________________ ____________________________________________
I stopped reading and folded thee paper back up, placing it softly in the grass covered ground that surrounded his gravestone. New life was already growing on the place he was buried under. The beginnings of a flower could be seen there as well. Life in the face of death. It was ironic, really, when I thought about it.
I covered the paper up with a bit of dirt, and placed a nearby rock on top of it so it wouldn't fly away.
I looked up at the sky, asking silently for a sign that he had heard it.
As I watched, a blue bird flew over the top of my head, landing on the branch of a tree close by. It chirped a bit and fluttered its wings.
That was my sign. Gordo loved blue birds; they were his favourite of all birds.
I silently thanked the Heavens that he had heard me and he had liked it.
That was all I needed, for him to know, how much he meant to me, and still means to me.
A single tear escaped the folds of my eyelids, and slipped down my cheek. It dropped to the ground and splattered the paper, a single round dot covering the otherwise unblemished paper.
"Thank you," I whispered out loud, just in case the Heavens didn't hear.
The bird chirped once more, and then flew away.
I watched it go with a sad smile on my face.
"I love you Gordo," I told the retreating bird.
The sun shone even brighter in the sky. I settled back with my arms behind me to steady myself. I sat in silence and in thought.
I had gotten through a year without my one true love. It was the hardest year I've ever been through, but I knew that it would get better, because like I had written, he was there to help me.
And with that thought, I let my mind drift of to the many memories we had created together over the years, feeling as safe as ever in the confines of this graveyard, knowing he was here with me.
And he always would be.
___________________________________________________________
I hope you all enjoyed that, I write to please. I hope you all had a great Christmas as well. Mine was great if anyone wanted to know. Anyway, there some holiday sadness, although not nearly as sad as the last chapter. I intended it to be that way though, so as to soften the blow of the first chapter. And guys, I old you you'd hear from me again soon. I didn't disappoint, did I?
Peace to you all
Ciao for now Em
Fine Line
Chapter 2: My Poem to You
Why am I doing this?
Am I crazy?
I've never done anything like this before, never. But, this is special. A special occasion. It deserves something special. Something different.
Something unique, just like him.
So I guess that's why I did it, for him. Well, of course I did, but I also did it for me, because I needed it. But today, this will be for him.
I hope he likes it. I'm sure he will. He liked everything I did. I was lucky.
He was special.
But I still can't help but wonder if he'll like it. It's from my heart. I closed my eyes, and imagined him, and the words just flowed. That's never happened to me before. It just proves how much of an effect he still has on me.
Even after all this time.
I place the piece of paper in an envelope and seal it. I intend to break the seal soon, so I don't now why I bothered in the first place. But then, I reason with myself, it makes it all the more special, if it's sealed.
I pick up the pen again and intend to write something more on the envelope, but my mothers' voice stops me.
"Lizzie, sweetie? Are you ready, we should leave soon, it'll be dark before long."
Good point. It's four o'clock. I left this until the last minute. I didn't want to be there when everyone else was. I wanted to be alone...with him.
"I'm coming," I yell down, and she seems satisfied with my answer, because I hear nothing in response.
I pick the pen up yet again, and set it to the paper.
The words come easy, just like they did before. It needs no effort. He gives me all the inspiration I need.
'To Gordo, my first, my last, and my only love
Forever yours, Lizzie'
That's appropriate, isn't it? That's what's in my heart, that's where it came from, much like the words incased in the envelope, ready for me to read.
I re-read the words for another time, and I nod my head slightly in approval.
I'm ready now, it's time.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
The ride there was smooth and uneventful. My mother didn't say a word to me, knowing I needed silence. I was grateful to her for respecting that.
We got to our destination, and I got out alone. My mother gave me a quick goodbye and told me she'd be back in two hours. She knew I needed time, another thing I was grateful for. Although, I wish she had given me more of it.
I strode forward purposefully through the gates to my destination, flowers and letter grasped firmly in either hand.
I breathed a sigh of relief when I reached there and no one was around. It was now four thirty, they must have all gone home.
I was alone.
And I'm glad.
I sat down on the soft, dewy grass and placed the flowers down beside me. White roses, like last time.
I lifted my fingers and placed them onto cool marble, tracing the letters carved there;
* * * * * * * *
David Gordon
1987 - 2003
Some heroes are born, destined He was a hero by choice And we will never forget it
R.I.P
* * * * * * * *
My fingers were cold when I took them off the stone. The chilly air was why though, not because of the marble, or for any other reason.
"Hey Gordo," I whispered, not shedding a single tear. I was being brave today, and I was grateful for that. I was grateful for a lot of things, I had found, ever since that day.
"Can you believe it's been a year?" I asked, as if expecting an answer. I was actually quite upset when I didn't receive one.
"I wanted to thank you for saving me the other day," I told him.
Two days prior, I had been walking down the street. I was ready to cross the road, because it looked like no traffic was coming, when a funny sensation filled the pit of my stomach, and made me stop for just a moment. And in that moment, a car came zooming past the bend at breakneck speed. It wouldn't have been able to stop if I had crossed. I would have been killed. I knew it was Gordo who had stopped me, my guardian angel.
"I bet you were wondering when I was coming, huh?" Again, I paused, waiting for a reply. I pretend he gave me one and moved on.
"I was just waiting until everyone left, so I could have you all to myself. I've got so much to tell you, I don't even know where to start," and for the next half hour or so I relayed to my dead best friend in full detail what had happened in my life in the year he had been absent. I made it all sound like he had just simply been away on holiday all this time, and I was just catching up on all the goss.
I know it was stupid, but somehow, it made it easier.
"So," I finished. "I guess you're all caught up now. I don't think I left anything out. Oh, I did tell you that Kate is actually nice to me, right? Oh yeah, of course I did, that was one of the first things I told you. Can you believe it though? After all these years, and now she told me that she was, quote; "stupid and immature". It might be nice to be friends with her again, but after everything she did to us, and to you, I don't think I could trust her again, what about you?" I waited for a reply that would never come.
"I guess I might try and see what will happen."
I waited a few seconds, trying to think if I left anything else out.
"Oh my gosh, I forgot to tell you the best news. Miranda and Larry got together half way through the year. He was really there for her after you..." I sighed.
"I wish I had someone."
I stopped for a second to mourn, but then I was back.
"Do you remember how we tried so hard that last year to get those two together. We did everything, and when they finally did, Miranda told me that she also tried everything to get us together. I feel so bad that it didn't work. It would have been great. I always picture it, us together. I like thinking about it, it's comforting."
And it was, it helped take my mind of the fact that he would never be coming back. I would play out little scenarios in my mind, where he had survived the crash and we were living happily ever after. Sometimes we had kids in the picture, sometimes it was just us. But one thing that did not change was the fact that we were happy. It remained constant throughout every fantasy. It was nice, even just imagining it.
I sighed again, but a different sigh to last time. It wasn't sad, or anything bad, really. It was wistful. And a realisation all at the same time.
It was time, to read the letter to him. Well, it wasn't so much a letter, as a poem, but it said more than any real words could, so I was satisfied.
I picked up the envelope that I had placed on the ground before. I read what I wrote to him on the front out loud, and then I opened it, taking a single sheet of paper out and unfolding it.
I cleared my throat, and began speaking, saying the words in poem form that I should have said ages ago. When he was still alive.
____________________________________________ ____________________________________________
Life was when I lived for you Love was when I loved your dearly Hope was when I hoped you'd come back Despair was when I knew you wouldn't
Life goes on I will love again I will keep hoping for brighter days But my despair at your disappearance will remain forever
When you lived, I lived When you loved, I loved When you hoped, I hoped When you were in despair, so was I
When you cried, I cried When you laughed, so did I Is it fair that you're gone? No, it isn't Do I have the strength to go on? Yes...I do
When you lived, I lived When you loved, I loved When you hoped, I hoped When you were in despair, so was I But where you died, I shall live on...
Because you helped me...
____________________________________________ ____________________________________________
I stopped reading and folded thee paper back up, placing it softly in the grass covered ground that surrounded his gravestone. New life was already growing on the place he was buried under. The beginnings of a flower could be seen there as well. Life in the face of death. It was ironic, really, when I thought about it.
I covered the paper up with a bit of dirt, and placed a nearby rock on top of it so it wouldn't fly away.
I looked up at the sky, asking silently for a sign that he had heard it.
As I watched, a blue bird flew over the top of my head, landing on the branch of a tree close by. It chirped a bit and fluttered its wings.
That was my sign. Gordo loved blue birds; they were his favourite of all birds.
I silently thanked the Heavens that he had heard me and he had liked it.
That was all I needed, for him to know, how much he meant to me, and still means to me.
A single tear escaped the folds of my eyelids, and slipped down my cheek. It dropped to the ground and splattered the paper, a single round dot covering the otherwise unblemished paper.
"Thank you," I whispered out loud, just in case the Heavens didn't hear.
The bird chirped once more, and then flew away.
I watched it go with a sad smile on my face.
"I love you Gordo," I told the retreating bird.
The sun shone even brighter in the sky. I settled back with my arms behind me to steady myself. I sat in silence and in thought.
I had gotten through a year without my one true love. It was the hardest year I've ever been through, but I knew that it would get better, because like I had written, he was there to help me.
And with that thought, I let my mind drift of to the many memories we had created together over the years, feeling as safe as ever in the confines of this graveyard, knowing he was here with me.
And he always would be.
___________________________________________________________
I hope you all enjoyed that, I write to please. I hope you all had a great Christmas as well. Mine was great if anyone wanted to know. Anyway, there some holiday sadness, although not nearly as sad as the last chapter. I intended it to be that way though, so as to soften the blow of the first chapter. And guys, I old you you'd hear from me again soon. I didn't disappoint, did I?
Peace to you all
Ciao for now Em