Disclaimer: Weiß Kreuz and Weiß Kreuz Glühen belongs to me not... they belong to their respective owners and what I'm doing here is simply to have some fun and escapism of life.... ^___^

Thanks to everyone who has reviewed this fic.... may you live long and prosper!!!

4th Piece: [Ken] Following Your Footsteps

Living in this confinement is supposed to give me time to think of what I'm gonna do later. As I'm not sure of my own footsteps, I always follow someone else. But I cannot follow Youji, he is still lying in some hospital bed, probably will never be awake. I cannot follow Omi because his footsteps lead to a place I dread to follow. I'm tired of seeing my hands covered with blood though the stains give me a feeling of ecstasy.

No. I don't want to… I'm too scared to follow that path.

To follow Aya will be the only choice available, but I am not ready to leave everything behind to a country I never know. And he is still thinking about his justice. He will still be the Robin Hood assassin loitering the night for some bad guys. No, I'm not ready to leave my sins behind and start all over again just to fall into the same old steps. No, Aya, I am not yet sure. I am not as sure as you….

Even to think about being an assassin once again gives me shivers. I chose exile from the world to think about my doings. Omi offered me to use one of his villas in the rural, but I cannot live in all luxuries when I myself think I'm worth for punishment only. He offered me to stay in penitentiary, in the regional jail.

So here I am, sitting in this cell, trying to think about my next moves. Omi said he would help me to get away from his family. He said that I can start anew as anything as long as it's a legal job. But what skills do I have? I am not Youji, I am not Aya. I am not you, Omi, blessed with many talents. I can only kill. I even failed at tending flowers or arranging them. Aya was always best in flower arranging because he took an ikebana class a long, long time ago.

My only talent is to play football. But I know I have no way to play again in Japan. My career as a football player has died years ago when I let myself be led to a trap by my own best friend. My life is pathetic, isn't it? I still regard him even now as my best friend, even when I saw with my own eyes his wicked tendencies. I regard him as my best friend still, because that is the only thing that can purify the sin of killing him. At least somewhere the guardian angel I have adds a little good deed to repent my mistake.
Aya, do you really think I should follow your footsteps?



The bell rang to signal meal time. It was exactly midday as the cell doors slid open automatically to let the prisoners walk to the dining room. Ken followed the line. Somehow he ripped apart his own silence and pushed out the care-free spirit he always held in front of others.

"Good day, folks!" he greeted with a big smile plastered on his face as he stood in line to get his food. "What do we have today? Ah yes, rice, chicken, and some stewed vegetables again. Don't you think the cook in the kitchen a very generous man? He seems to know my favorite dishes that he serves them two days in a row." He continued to blabber, ignoring the pissed glares from his fellow convicts.

"Ah look how we are blessed with such good weather today," he nudged the man in front of him and pointed out to the field. "Maybe we can all go out for a small picnic outside and build ourselves some mutual relationship. What do you say, hmm? Hmm? That is, of course, only if the guards lets us have our lunch outside." He broke into a laugh.

The man grudged though not saying anything. A mouthy man such as this Hidaka Ken – as how his name was written on his blue shirt – was the last thing he needed to fill the day. But he preferred to keep quiet and ignored the man.

"Hey," Ken exclaimed, "I'm talking to you. Why don't we have a picnic together, huh?"

"Shut up, you weirdo!" the fat kitchen employee in charge of handing out food shouted at him. "Just have your portion and eat!"

"What are you saying?" Ken twitched hearing the way the man talk to him. "Are you calling me weirdo?"

The big man grinned. This guy was obviously looking for trouble. "Yes, I am calling you weirdo, Mister." He pushed Ken's tray towards the brunette. "Here, take it away before I decide not to feed you."

"I don't like being called weirdo."

"Fine," the fat man pulled back the tray. "I don't like feeding you either." He threw its contents into the trash."

"Hey, that's not fair!" Ken moved forward to grab the man's sleeve but other prisoners stopped him.

"Don't go looking for trouble, little fella!" said a man with long curly hair. He held Ken's arm.

"He's the one looking for trouble!" Ken shouted.

"That's because you're too noisy, it's giving us headache!" another man pulled Ken down with a blow.

Ken stood. "So you wanna play harsh this time, do you?" He gave a jab on the man's left cheek. It was an invitation to fight back and the man answered it with a kick on Ken's belly. The fight soon expanded into a bigger chaos. It took ten guards and five other prisoners to stop him from tearing the whole dining room down.



You see, I'm such a loser; being too easily triggered to my nerve. Now I'm back again in my little cell as my punishment without food to silence my gurgling stomach. How silly! How stupid! How could I let the anger inside me explode? Simply because of being called a weirdo.

Now Aya, now you know why I cannot come with you. I am not all that checked and controlled as you. I don't even know why I take pleasure in fighting. No, really, I don't like fighting. But I cannot stop my body from moving. I cannot stop myself from hurting, killing. I… I like to see blood on my hands….

No…! No…! That's not true…. That's not true…!

It must be a curse to join Weiß the first time. But did I have the choice then? Did you Aya? Youji? Omi? If I could just turn back time… if I could just wash my hands from all this sorrow….

Youji, how are you today? Are you still inside your dream? I hope what you see in your head is a wonderful dream full of wonderful things. I hope inside your mind, you can see your lover again. What was her name…? A… Asuka, yes Asuka. I hope you can see her again. Is it bad as a friend to wish that you never wake up from your dream? If you think you can get happiness by forgetting everything like what you said when you confronted Aya, can I hope that you loose your memories? Does it make me a bad man to wish you such things?

Omi, how are you today? I hear about you in the news everyday. Are you happy with it, my little brother? I look at you in awe that the little boy I knew has grown so much to an adult. I still wonder how you can be so bold to choose your own future, while I am still left behind with no answer. But Omi, are you really happy with your decision? The lights in your eyes seem to die away each time I turn my eyes to the TV.

Now Omi, do you think of us as your burden? Are you angry that I am still here not knowing what to choose? Tell me, Omi, if I cannot stop killing, will you be angry with me? Will you think me ungrateful because I cannot turn myself from the past? In any way, that's the only way I know to live. That's the only thing left.

Omi, what if I cannot face my destiny? Will you accept me back to Weiß if anything should fail? Omi, answer me…. Why are you so quiet? Why do you move away from us? Are we all that bad? Am I that bad? Omi… why did you choose to become the Takatori Mamoru you despised?

And Aya… Aya….

- to be continued -

OK, this chap took place before Tomorrow but I couldn't stop myself from writing it.... ^____^

.... I have to make a little announcement.... I don't hate Ken... and I still think he deserves several chapies on his own..... I may have said that he's the least favorite but that really doesn't mean that I hate him..... Now that I'm getting into his feelings (after watching Tomorrow for several times and think about it), I'm gonna write several more on Ken..... I'm thinking to let him meet Aya one more time..... What do you think? ^___^