Forbidden Love
Disclaimer: Don't own any of the characters here… just playing with them against their will. ^_^
'My Immortal' is copyrighted to Evanescence, and whatever record label they're under. It's a really great song and I think that those of you out there reading this should, if you've got the time, download the song and play it at the same time… you know, mood music… Oh dear, I'm encouraging piracy… ^_^
Last but not least, this fic is slash. So please don't flame me cos I'm warning you in advance.
My ImmortalI'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all of my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leaveBecause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you screamed I'd fight away all of your fears
And I've held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me
You used to captivate me
By your resonating light
But now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you screamed I'd fight away all of your fears
And I've held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me
I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
And though you're still with me
I've been alone all along
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you screamed I'd fight away all of your fears
And I've held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me
* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *
Legolas pause at the edge of the forest and looked back across his shoulder at the path he had just traversed. The breeze teased his hair and he smiled slightly. The long journey home by himself had certainly helped to take his mind off the… other things he did not wish to think about.
A white city standing tall in the sun…
Grey eyes that softened and lit up every time they met green…
He shook his head to clear it. It does not matter anymore.
He nudged Arod gently forward into the forest of Mirkwood. As the menacing boughs silently parted and cleared a path for their prince, he could not help taking a deep breath, inhaling the familiar scents he had grown up with.
He had come home at last.
* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *
He rode through the streets leading to his home with a shy smile on his face. It seemed as though the whole of Mirkwood had turned up to welcome him the minute they heard that their Prince was home. His fame as one of the Fellowship had apparently reached the secluded forest – he could hear the shy elf-maids whisper to each other about how he had slain scores of Orcs without batting an eyelid.
As he entered the castle gates and drew up outside his home, a groom scurried forward to take Arod from him. He mounted the steps apprehensively, preparing himself for the explosive welcome he knew awaited him from behind the heavy doors…
Suddenly, the doors flew open as something blonde flew out and wrapped itself tightly around his neck with a squeal.
Legolas laughed then, as he had not laughed in a long time. "Vilwarin, please, I enjoy breathing as much as you do," he said wryly as he pried her off him.
Vilwarin giggled, her aquamarine eyes dancing mischievously as she retorted, "I can't help being happy when my favourite little brother finally decides to come home after wandering over all of Middle Earth on some Quest which could have gotten him killed now, can I?"
Legolas gave an exaggerated sigh and rolled his eyes. "I believe I'm your only little brother, unless Ada got married and had another son while I was gone…"
"Well, that's beside the point…" She pulled him down towards her and planted a kiss on his cheek. "Welcome home, little one. Now, come, Ada's been waiting for you for a long time." She grabbed his wrist and dragged him inside and through the winding hallways, ignoring his protests and pleas to let him change out of his travel stained clothes.
Upon their arrival at the Elven King's study, Vilwarin proceeded to burst in without knocking, propelling the hapless Legolas before and proclaiming rather unnecessarily, "Look who's home, Ada!"
Thranduil looked up from where he was sitting and allowed a relieved smile to spread across his face. He rose and walked over to his younger son. Clasping his shoulders and searching his face with his piercing blue eyes, he asked, "It went well, then?"
Legolas dipped his head slightly and replied, "Yes, it did."
Thranduil gazed thoughtfully at him for a moment, then squeezed his shoulder reassuringly and stepped back. "You must be tired after your long journey here. Go take a bath and have some rest. We'll talk at dinner. And Vilwarin, leave him alone until then."
Vilwarin pouted slightly and complained, "But Ada, I want to hear all his stories…" Thranduil frowned at her. She sighed and replied meekly, "Yes, Ada."
* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *
He had been staring absently out of his window, watching the sunset when Vilwarin bounced into his room and dragged him down for dinner. Now, he followed her to the dining hall, listening to her chatter about the various happenings in Mirkwood during his absence. On entering the room, he noticed that there were only three places laid.
"They went spider hunting. Again." Thranduil said in reply to the questioning look on his son's face. Legolas suppressed a smile as his sister rolled her eyes at the comment. His older brothers had a fetish for hunting spiders as young elflings, one that they had never grown out, which inadvertently led to either one or the other being carried home after one too many encounters with the spiders.
As they settled down to their evening meal, Thranduil winked at Legolas and said, "You'd better tell us what you've been up to these months before Vilwarin explodes from being kept in suspense."
Legolas laughed lightly and proceeded to recount his deeds from the moment he had arrived in Rivendell until the time he left the White City.
Vilwarin gave a dreamy sigh as he finished talking. "So, Estel finally married the Lady Arwen. They must have made an absolutely stunning pair at their wedding, did they, little brother?"
"I… I don't know. I… didn't stay for the wedding." Legolas hurriedly raised his wine goblet to his lips in an attempt to hide his flustered expression. When he lowered it, he found his sister watching him with a strange look in her eyes, almost as though she knew the real reason why he had not stayed on for his best friend's wedding...
Vilwarin shook her head and smiled slightly, "That anxious to come home? Tell me more about the hobbits, those halflings fascinate me greatly…"
* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *
The hour was late when he finally returned to his room. Yet, he found that he could not sleep even though he was exhausted. It seemed as though every time he was about to sink into a dark fog of unconsciousness, he would see a pair of smiling grey eyes looking at him, reminding him of the times past, and he would be jolted awake again by the pain that coursed through him.
He lay on his back, the tears threatening to fall, telling himself that it was all in the past, that it did not affect him anymore, nor did it bother him. But the memory of warm arms around him, holding him through the nights, proved too much to bear.
He buried his face in his pillow and sobbed.
* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *
Vilwarin paused outside the door to her brother's room, her hand on the handle. She could hear the soft sounds of him crying inside the room, and her heart wrenched within as she thought of the pain he was in, yet she could not decide whether or not to enter his room to comfort him.
"There's something wrong with Legolas, Ada. He's changed since he left…"
Thranduil sighed. "I know. I can see it in his eyes. You are the only one who can help him now, Vilwarin. Both of you have always been close, and I suspect that you are the only one who knows what he is going through."
"I will try, but he is the only one who can help himself."
She sighed, then turned the handle softly.
* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *
He heard the soft click of the door opening and the gentle rustle of a dress approaching his bed. Immediately, he tried to hide the fact that he had been crying by pulling the covers over his head.
Vilwarin smiled at the sight of her little brother burrowing under the covers, trying to get away from her eyes. Sitting down on the bed next to him, she pulled the blankets off his head and started to run her fingers through his hair, patting him and soothing him as though he was an elfling once more.
After a long time, his shivering stopped and his breathing grew soft and even again. They sat in silence for some time, then Vilwarin asked softly, "Tell me what's wrong, little one. Tell me what happened to you."
"Nothing's wrong."
"I don't want you to die of heartbreak, Legolas. Tell me how you got hurt."
"You wouldn't understand."
She smiled slightly, her face hidden in the dark. "Try me. You'd be surprised."
He hesitated for a moment longer, then shifted his position such that he now lay with his head on her lap, like he used to whenever he ran to her for comfort as an elfling.
Another silence ensued, as she waited for him to find the words. Her hand rose and fell with a hypnotic rhythm as it combed through his hair.
"I… I fell in love… with a mortal."
His words hung heavily in the still night air.
"And?" She prompted him gently.
He sighed and turned away from her, staring out into the darkness of his room with unseeing eyes. "What is the use? I can't be with him, because he is… he is a King, and… has wed another."
"Does he feel the same way you do?"
"I… I don't know. Perhaps he did, I mean, I suppose he did, but, he…" he trailed off and left the sentence hanging.
"He needs his heirs." Vilwarin finished quietly.
Legolas clutched at his pillow so tightly he could feel his hands shake. "It's not fair! Why does it have to be this way? Why does it always have to end this way? Why…"
Vilwarin turned his face back towards her and saw his eyes glittering with unshed tears. "Hush, little one. Some things… just aren't meant to be. Our fate is not in our control, we have to accept that fact. The pain will never go away, it will only grow less with time, if you let it."
He gave a small snort. "What would you know. All your words, you make it sound so easy. You probably don't even know what it is like to feel this way."
His unintentionally cruel words stung her and her voice was bitter as she replied, "I don't know what it is like? Remember this, my dear, you are not the only one in this world capable of loving another in this manner. But you are luckier than some. At least the person you love still lives and you can still see him, although you cannot have him."
Legolas' eyes widened as he sat up and stared at his sister. "You…"
Vilwarin continued in a softer voice, tears running unheeded down her face, "Why do you think I have never wed all these years, Legolas? I once loved a mortal too, a long time ago, but he was taken away from me before his time, and I can never see him again."
"I'm sorry, Vilwarin, I shouldn't have said that." Legolas was filled with regret as he watched his sister – the strong one – cry before him. And crying was something he did not remember ever seeing her do.
She smiled and shook her head slightly. "It's alright. So you see, you're not alone." She held her arms out to him.
He entered into her warm embrace. After some time, he spoke, is voice muffled by her dress, "Isn't it hard, sometimes?"
"It is. But for the sake of others, we have no choice but to be strong."
"Thank you, Vilwarin."
"You're welcome. Now, go to sleep."
* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *
She left his room a long time later, having sat by his bed and sung him to sleep. She was about to enter her own room when she heard a voice behind her.
"So, how is he?"
She stared at the designs on the door before answering, "He will heal with time, as I did." Turning to face the speaker, she said, "Don't tell him you know, Ada."
Thranduil nodded and said, "I won't. Because this is something he must solve himself."
* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *
TBC
Insane Author's Notes:
Finally, another chapter done…. Was beginning to think I'd never finish this…
Sorry if this chapter seems a little tedious… well, I found it tedious. I thought that since Aragorn was the 'star' in the previous chapter, Legolas deserved a chapter to himself. ^_^ To those who aren't very happy about having an OFC popping out of nowhere, sorry… I mean, I just can't visualize Thranduil patting Leggy dearest on the head and counseling him about his love life, can you? *thinks* *shudders* If you don't like Vilwarin, don't worry, she'll only appear for a fraction of a second in the next chapter, then I won't write about her anymore, BUT…
The plot bunny for a side story about Vilwarin is hopping madly around my head…. Help!!! I guess I'll probably post it when this whole story is done…. If I ever write it, that is. Opinions?
Next chapter will have a little more 'action'; if you could call it that… our favourite couple will definitely be meeting up again. ^_^
*yawnz* time to hit the sack…. 1.20 in the morning…. thank goodness there's no more school to go to. ^__________^
R & R please! And thank you so much for taking the time to read this!
Cinnamon-Sweet-Heart: Thank you! Hope you like this chapter as well… btw, I like your name, sounds very edible. ^_^ Sorry, I need a sugar fix now.
Rrrr: Another angsty chapter! Well, the rest of the story will end up angsty… With a few crazy bits in between if I decide to go on a hyper editing spree like I did with another story… needless to say, I ruined it.
FarFlung: I didn't know Arwen was only an accessory in the story… Heh heh… it's a SIGN!! LEGOLAS BELONGS WITH ARAGORN!!! Ahem. ^_^ Request for angst noted… In fact, that's about the only thing I can write now, despite the fact that I'm totally un-angsty in real-life … more like permanently bouncing around and high on sugar…
Shadow41: Well, I'll try my best not to separate them, but it'll be a bit hard, cos I'm a pretty firm believer in canon… and… imagine a really REALLY furious Arwen coming after Legolas for stealing her darling Aragorn away from her… Very scary thought… Coupled together with razor sharp nails… *runs away and hides in a corner*
glodmund: Here you go! Hope you liked it. ^_^ Legolas will be meeting with Aragorn in the next chapter… How could I bear to keep them apart? *fake melodramatic voice* Ahem… ^__________^
The-Serious-Padfoot: Hahaha… Well, I'm a huge Legolas fan as well, but I don't mind sharing him with Aragorn. ^_~ Glad you liked the songs I chose, it's sort of like a habit, 'cos I started out writing songfics on ff.net, and I find it easier to set the mood if I've got some 'background music'. ^_^ Been playing too many computer games…