Chapter III
"The Colonel's fine…I saw him not two hours ago, he was in perfect health" Janet countered; she was a little confused now. First a blackout and now her friend were talking nonsense. "Shall I get him down here so you can see for yourself?"
Carter shook her head and ran a hand through her hair then stifled a yawn "no…it wasn't here. I'm not making any sense" she stopped speaking for a few seconds to try and straighten everything out in her head. "When I blackout just now I was here…in the Infirmary and I was talking to you just like I am now, except I was hurting…a lot."
Janet sat down beside Sam on the bed "hurt? How? After a mission?" Must have been some funky blackout.
"No, it wasn't physical, it was emotional. I'm forgetting what it was about even now it's just what I felt that's making me remember what I saw; it was after a mission I think. And the Colonel was dead, I shot him…I think," Carter shook her head and walked to the door "I'm just gonna go to sleep." Her hand reached for the door until Janet stopped her.
"I want you to stay here tonight" she saw Carter about to protest "just for tonight, I want to keep an eye on you."
"I'm fine, really."
Janet stood also and looked at Sam firmly "it isn't a request Sam. I can stay here for the night, Cassie is at a friends so I don't have to worry about getting home" the Doc told her. She motioned the bed that the Major had been sitting on a few seconds ago "sleep." Janet walked to the door "I want to see you snoozing by the time I get back."
Sam raised her hands up in surrender "okay, okay you win. But I'm fine really" Janet nodded and exited the room leaving Carter in the Infirmary alone.
*
Carter awoke to the Infirmary lights being switched on; it was the flickering that first roused her from her dream free sleep and she look up through half closed eyes. Her teammates were walking in, trying to be quiet but failing quite miserably "when we didn't see you in the Commissary this morning we wondered where you were." Daniel was the first one to speak as he sat on the edge of the bed.
"It was when we looked in your lab and saw you weren't even there that we really started to worry" that was Jack; he spoke with a light smirk on his face. Carter slowly began to wake a little more, the bright light making her squint a bit.
"Doctor Fraiser told us that you were here," Teal'c informed her, his hands behind his back as he stood by the door. Looking almost like a store security guard as he was so still.
Jack nodded "she was in a bit of a rush so she didn't get a chance to tell why you were stuck in here. Are you okay? You seemed fine after the briefing, a little tired…"
Sam sat up in the bed and looked at each of them "I'm perfectly alright."
"Okay…" Daniel began "so why are you here…?"
She shook her head dismissively as if saying it was nothing important "just Janet being a little cautious. Now you guys get out whilst I get changed then I'm getting something to eat" Daniel who was sitting down now stood up as Sam got out of the bed and ushered them all to the door "go, I'll be out in a minute."
*
Within fifteen minutes they were in the commissary. Daniel, Jack and Teal'c for the second time. They sat around their usual table with more coffee for the guys and cereal and a first cup for Sam "don't we have a meeting at 0900?" she asked before taking a drink of the coffee.
"Hmmm, fun" O'Neill replied sarcastically. He held his cup in between his hands; it was almost empty "General Hammond wants us to check out some footage from PX3…9 etcetera, etcetera, before we head out there tomorrow."
Daniel looked up "so soon after yesterday? I have some things to do that'll take at least the next four days" if didn't have to, he really didn't want to head out again. The Archaeologist still had the artifacts from the last mission to study and decipher.
"We're join SG-4 at 1300 tomorrow Danny so either play with your artifacts today or leave them 'til you get back" Jack replied. He looked across the table at where Carter was sitting; she was about to take a bite of the cereal but had stopped and now looked as though she were staring off into space. "Carter?" He reached out and took the spoon from her hand and Sam didn't even bat an eyelid "hey…"
***
"I'm hungry but can't eat a thing" she felt completely empty. When SG-1 had woken up that morning the whole base seemed to be hauntingly quiet, like it was the SGC's version of a ghost town. Sam laid down her spoon, the cereal was starting to go soggy but she didn't care. She hadn't felt like eating in the first place but Janet had told her she should get something down her. The rest of the team felt exactly the same, all around the table were full mugs of coffee that had turned cold as they hadn't be drank, cereal that was starting to look inedible and opened breakfast bars that hadn't been touched.
The people at the table comprised of Carter, Daniel and Teal'c…everyone that walked into the commissary found their eyes wandering over to the table, the team just wasn't complete. There was a gap were their friend and leader should be "what are you looking at?" Carter snapped at an airman who was watching them from his table.
"We're supposed to go and speak with Mackenzie today" Daniel told them though they already knew "though I doubt it'll make us feel any better."
Sam let go of her spoon and let it clatter to the table "I'm not talking to Mackenzie" she replied stonily. "I don't want him to listen to me spilling my guts just to tell me when I've finished that everything will be alright, and I don't want him to give me that patronising look that he seems to reserve for us" in truth she didn't want to talk to anyone at all. Being along looked like a really good prospect at that moment but she knew nobody would allow that, "oh God I miss him."
Teal'c and Jackson looked at her with looks of mild surprise on their faces, it was the first time she had expressed some kind of feeling about what had happened that made her appear completely open and vulnerable. "As do I" the Jaffa offered.
"You're not alone in this Sam" Daniel told his friend kindly "we're some of the only people that know exactly what you're going through."
"Not exactly the same Daniel" she answered back softly. Carter took the spoon again and stirred the now floppy contents of the bowl around in the milk, all three friends looked up suddenly as a shadow loomed over them.
"Who would like to see me first?" the man they least wanted to bump into that day was now standing over them, a little smile on his face.
"Good morning Doctor Mackenzie" Daniel forced a greeting and looked across at Teal'c who merely nodded.
"Do we have a choice of not seeing you at all?" Sam asked the Doc irritably.
Mackenzie turned to her, his little smile fading slightly "Major Carter…I know…"
The spoon landed on the table again" no you don't" Carter interrupted. "And it doesn't matter how many times we speak to you, you'll still never understand what we're going through."
The Doctor shifted from foot to foot and coughed uncomfortably "I can see you don't feel like speaking just yet…" he didn't move, it looked as though he was just going to wait for someone to come with him whether it was what they wanted to do, or not.
"You think" Carters teammates looked at her, and all three people appeared to freeze upon hearing her reply. It was Jack's answer, one of the smart and sarcastic replies he used to use "I'm finished here, okay? I'll be in my lab if you need me."
Mackenzie watched her leave, the Doctor in him analyzing the situation and the rest of him just seeing a person that had lost a very close friend.
***
"Colonel?" Sam Carter looked as though she had just woken up all over again "what's going on? What's happening to me?"
*
For the third time in two days Major Carter found herself sitting on the edge of an Infirmary bed, and for the second time Janet was telling her she could find nothing amiss "so you're telling me I'm going crazy?" she asked worriedly. One thing she didn't want was to be told she was going to be put on downtime for an unknown amount of time because of this, they were supposed to be heading to PX3 969 the next day.
"Nobodies saying you're going crazy Carter" O'Neill told her solemnly. He was standing by the bed with his hands in his pants pockets, Sam wasn't completely sure why but she felt a tremendous amount of relief at him being there. "So what exactly are you seeing in these…what are they Doc? Blackouts?"
Janet nodded, she was leaning against her desk whilst she listened to their banter "and from what Sam has told me they started during the briefing yesterday, right?" at her friends nod she continued. "During these 'blackouts' Sam had been experiencing…I'm not actually sure how to explain it…another version of events that are happening now?"
O'Neill looked lost which was understandable as the other two people that were in the room were having a hard time figuring out what was going on themselves "and what are you seeing in this, other version?"
When Carter didn't reply the Doc carried on. "Well, the main thing that Sam feels has happened is killing you" and now they both waited for his reaction.
The fact that Carter thought she had killed him wasn't lost on him but it was the other part of what the Doc said that interested him "feels has happened?" he glanced at his 2IC for an explanation.
"Yeah" Carter stared at the chair in front of her. "I was in pain…grieving for you…and then I was here again and you were, alive."
"Oh" was his single reply. Jack was about to speak again when Sam began again.
She looked at her two friends closely "it was so real, and this is definitely real. So which am I supposed to believe actually happened?" Carter waited for some kind of verification.
O'Neill knelt down in front of her "well seeing as its my ass on the line I gotta say this is very real" he answered gently.
"I really hope so Sir but how can I know for sure? Is this actually happening? Or am I just making this scenario up in my mind to ease my pain from losing you?"
To be continued…