Disclaimer: I do not own the world of Harry Potter, much though I wish I did.
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It had long been tradition in Hogwarts that Gryffindors and Slytherins shared innumerable classes together. Potions, Defence Against the Dark Arts, Care of Magical Creatures, basically any subject which involved a slight risk to life, the Lions and Snakes were thrust together in the Headmaster's infinite wisdom. This scheduling had prevailed despite numerous pleas from Heads of Houses, former pupils and even the Ministry. In point of fact it seemed that Headmasters of Hogwarts had a running pact not to disturb this arrangement, much to the befuzzlement of the wider wizarding community. And so it was with great pleasure, which some might have said was misplaced, Albus Dumbledore, greatest wizard of his generation, waited for the incident report, which was bound to occur, from the first Potions class of the year. Red and Gold versus Green and Gold, the unerring battle of the school.
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At his desk Severus Snape sat, straight-backed, erect, unmoving. His eye twitched, then twitched again in irritation. For a man who had witnessed countless horrors, survived prolonged torture and operated in the shadows it was perhaps surprising that the thought of a two-hour period with Gryffindors and Slytherins could fill him with dread. Worse than this, in his mind at least, was the fact that despite his extraordinary skills of manipulation he had yet to complete a Potions lesson with them without the interruption of some major incident or another.
The final grains of sand in the hourglass by the door ran through to the bottom. As it magically turned itself over; the heavy wrought iron door was pushed open and the sounds from the passageway flooded in, engulfing the room's serenity. The tussled and tangled hair of Hermione Granger made its entrance, as per usual, the first student in the classroom. Behind her, falling silent as they entered, were the rest of her classmates.
Severus counted the heads frowning, only half the class appeared to be present, and in his opinion it was by far the worse half. It was unusual for the Slytherins to be tardy, especially for his lesson. While he pondered what could have delayed all of his little serpents, the students present began to fidget and whisper amongst themselves. Throwing them a murderous glare he stormed to the open door and slammed it shut. Resuming his seated position behind his desk he started his lecture as if nothing was amiss.
Any faint hopes that he might have had that the Gryffindors would be wise, for once, and not question him about the whereabouts of the rest of his class were dashed as he saw a rather nervous Hermione Granger, obviously under the urgings of her compatriots, raise her hand. Counting slowly to one hundred mentally, the Potions master motioned for her to speak.
"Professor Snape, sir, where are the others?"
It was, he reflected, a valid question. If he had been in a class where half of his classmates were not present, he too would have wondered where they were. However, being a Slytherin he would not have given voice to his curiosity, but instead would have made enquiries of his own, privately. And he most certainly would not have interrupted a Professor mid-flow. So it was with a clear conscience and quite possibly a malicious glee that he answered.
"Twenty points from Gryffindor for interrupting with no good cause."
Barely muted agonised sighs greeted this and he could see that a number of Gryffindors opening their mouths in readiness to challenge him, so he continued silkily,
"To prevent further loss of points from your House let me say that not being blind, I have noted that a large number of pupils are not present. Suffice to say that this will be investigated later. Right now you are in my dungeon in my lesson and as usual I expect nothing less than your undivided attention."
Looking around the room with one of his severest stares and seeing that the mini-rebellion had been quelled for the time being, he resumed his monologue on the properties of the mandrake root. He scanned his mind for mid-level potions for the semi-full class to prepare, not wanting to disadvantage the missing students. At least he mused, there would be less danger of injury in this lesson.
Twenty minutes later and Severus Snape allowed himself to relax, nothing untoward had happened and so he felt that he could fully concentrate on his students rather than being prepared for some beastly event to make an appearance. It was unfortunately, a minute too soon.
Over the sound of the gentle hum of merrily boiling cauldrons, a gigantic loud crash ripped through the air. Snape turned from where he had been overseeing Lavender Brown adding Fisnoog into her potion to observe the back of the class. Harry Potter was staring horrified at the youngest male of the Weasley clan. Ronald Weasley for his part was doing a very good impression of a fish stranded on dry land. Eyes bulging so wide it was a miracle that they hadn't popped out of their sockets. His mouth was opening and closing, no sound being emitted for once.
As Snape's eyes travelled over the boy he realised why. In a flash he had moved himself to the child's side and began to pull off the boiling clothes that by now were sticking to Ron's skin. Muttering a numbing spell to try and ease the pain for the red-head, he succeeded in removing the rest of the uniform, tearing some of the flesh in his haste. Scooping up Ron into his arms; Snape cast the Hermeus spell over his feet and after shouting instructions on reading to the shocked class, dashed quickly through the school to the infirmary.
Madame Pomfrey briskly scanned the injured boy, searching for other injuries. She blocked out Ron's voice which was insisting that he was fine, numbed as he still was to the scalding, unable to sit up and see the true extent of the damage, as he was being held down by a stonily silent Severus. She nodded curtly at Snape then shooed him out of the infirmary and set about healing the burns and repairing the skin damage.
Once out of the infirmary Snape made his way back to his dungeon. He did not hurry, he knew the Gryffindors well enough to know that with one of their own hurt they would be rather subdued. Thus he was surprised, on reaching the top of the winding staircase that led to the laboratories, to hear raised voices from his classroom. Severus rapidly descended the stairs and quietly opened the door to peer inside. What he saw almost made him snort with laughter. What he heard brought a smile to his lips.
"You must've done something!"
"Hermione I swear. I did exactly what you said. I leaned over and turned down the heat. That's it!"
"Well… then you must've added the wrong ingredient. Are you sure you had Fisnoog? It does rather look like Cowslip."
"I definitely added all the right ingredients. Snape was stood watching me the whole time. He'd have docked points if I'd got the wrong stuff. What if I stay like this forever???"
Lavender wailed and clasped her face in her hands dramatically. Her friends shared uneasy glances between themselves. As usual Hermione was the first to speak up.
"Don't be silly! Even if we can't figure out what to do to make it better, I'm sure Professor Snape will know what to do."
At this Lavender let out a howl of humiliation, causing Hermione to take a couple of steps back in alarm. Huffing at her crossly, Parvati Patil elbowed past her to put her arms around Lavender.
"Don't listen to Hermione Lavender! We'll think of something before Professor Snape gets back. It's alright. It'll be ok, we'll sort it before the old bat even gets near the dungeons. Uncover your face and let me have a look."
So saying, and with much sniffling from Lavender, Parvati pulled Lavender's face free from her hands and gulped. It was bright orange. Not a shade that could even remotely be passed off as natural, it was, putting it bluntly, the hue of one of those ridiculously bright coloured pencil crayons that little children the age of five always seemed to have. And it most certainly did not suit Lavender's soft brown hair.
Parvati looked back at the rest of the class and raised her eyebrows gesturing for support and ideas. Seamus and Dean shrugged their shoulders whilst Hermione and Harry curled their faces in defeat. At Parvati's death look they all rapidly switched their expressions to that of studied thought. With another firm look at them, Parvati turned to Lavender.
"Look, you start doing the reading and making notes for the rest of us, while we start looking for a cure for your face."
For the third time that day Snape found himself to be surprised. He had never, in his assessments of the Gryffindors, seen Parvati Patil as a leader, and without doubt would not have predicted that she would maintain a level head in a crisis. Concealing himself with an ancient cloak charm he stepped into the room, pushing the door shut with only the faintest creak, unnoticed by all within who were too busy concentrating on the task in front of them.
After only a few minutes Dean Thomas jumped from his seat, shouting excitedly. He raised his wand causing Severus to close his eyes in anticipation.
There was an awful silence. The Potions master cautiously peeked out from under his eyelids. Dean was frozen in place, wand-arm still extended with an impressive arch. All colour was drained from his face, in fact all the colour was drained from pretty much everything he wore. His school robes were now a faint grey, the only hint of colour remaining on his person was a sad pale pink that lingered on his tie, a poor reminder of the bright red that was once there. Worst of all, his hair, which normally was dark was shocking peroxide white. Severus stifled a groan.
Lavender slowly took in Dean's new look.
"I'm guessing that that didn't work? Dean stop posing, it's not funny! Now we have to find a counter-curse for you as well. "
"I'm not posing! I'm stuck!!! That was a really powerful wash and dry spell combined. I didn't bother with the starch bit so I'm all stiff."
"You idiot," chimed in Seamus, "Everyone knows that you have to starch when you wash!"
Enough was enough, Snape deciding that Madame Pomfrey would not forgive him for any more than two further casualties, moved over to the doorway and became visible, again without alerting the students to his presence. Thus he had the satisfaction of startling at least five pupils and seeing Neville Longbottom slip onto the floor on hearing his feared Professor's voice boom across the workbenches.
"What is the meaning of this? Fifty points from Gryffindor for failing to follow simple instructions! Mr Thomas, would you care to explain how you came to be in your present predicament?"
"Well, um, you see…"
Snape cut him off brusquely with a wave of his hand.
"From your stance it appears that you have been engaging in what, you will remember, I like to refer to as careless wand waving. Ten points from Gryffindor for ignoring a Professor's instructions and a further ten points for your stupidity in failing to realise that the starch charm was a vital component of the miracle cleaning spell."
Seeing their eyes widen, Snape smirked inwardly at the gullibility of children and their willingness to ascribe powers of omnipresence to their teachers.
"Miss Brown, it seems that you too have managed to inflict harm on yourself. Another ten points from Gryffindor for inattention to detail, your malady is due to an erroneous ingredient in your brew causing the fumes to change into a highly powerful dye-agent. Both you and Mr Thomas are excused from the remainder of this lesson and should go to the infirmary to seek Madame Pomfrey's assistance."
With those two dismissed, Snape attempted to impart some knowledge to the students left behind in the little time before the end of the lesson.
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Author's Notes:
This took a while, hope you guys think it's worth the wait.
I have another reviewer – yeah!!! does happy Duracell puppy-dog back flip