The Iron Maiden thinks about Hao, Lyserg, the Shaman Fight, and love.
Disclaimer: This is where I tell you that I don't own Shaman King. I'm sure you know that.
Iron
.begin
On some days, she wishes that she didn't have to be quite so strong.
Mind you, she is, she supposes, strong by nature, but that doesn't stop her from wondering what it would be like to be without a destiny. Eleven years of age and already the leader (the icon?) of an organization dedicated to bringing judgment to evil.
The X-Laws. Hao. These are words that have now become a part of her, and she will never be the same.
Killing Hao is a goal, something that she is driven towards, that is almost a pastime. If she didn't have to kill Hao, she would probably have to kill Yoh.
After all, they are halves of each other, born as twins by accident, or so she likes to think. Thank God that Yoh is so strong willed, though he is not strong enough to do what has to be done. That is why she is the one who has to kill Hao.
Yoh still maintains the thought that Hao may reform, repent, and come to their side. Yoh does not accept the fact that killing for justice is the only way to deal with Hao. She has tried to see it from their side and cannot.
The X-Laws is the only side she believes in.
It is highly improbable that Hao will ever let go of his dream of purifying the world. She can see why he wants to do so; she would like to become Shaman King and be able to purify the world. But his method of genocide is unacceptable to her; how many people have lost their lives, or lives of their loved ones to his false cause?
"One must sacrifice," he says to her when they meet, with a sort of fierce gentleness. "I am willing to make those sacrifices."
"Will you spare no one?" she asks in return.
"Maybe Yoh," he replies in a light manner. "If he returns to me. Not you. Unless..." He lets it hang in the air.
She expects as much. "I will kill you."
"I would not expect any less from a woman of your caliber," he smiles that dangerous smile and leaves.
Marco would be disapproving of their meetings, so she has kept to herself the countless times that she has met with him.
"Maiden-sama," she can almost hear him say, "you mustn't meet with the Destroyer. You are our only hope in defeating him." But Marco hates any and every man that comes near her.
They worship her with a fervor that almost frightens her, but she doubts that they care about her silent suffering that she endures with no complaint.
It hurts to stay in her oversoul; no one denies that. They have seen her come out, pierced because of the spikes, slightly nauseated and unsteady. No one moves to help her; they turn away and though they feel for her greatly, she is to endure this silently and courageously.
"Jeanne-sama?"
Lyserg, she thinks, it is only Lyserg that seems to care anything for her suffering; it is only Lyserg who doesn't turn away. Lyserg is most impressed, she supposes, since he wants so fervently to defeat Hao.
She stops walking and turns to face him. "Lyserg," she acknowledges with a simple smile.
He takes her hand and squeezes it affectionately, and she is a bit startled. She pulls away hastily, almost seeing why Marco wants Lyserg to keep away from her.
"I'm sorry Lyserg," and she is in the chapel kneeling down to close her eyes and prays. She does not open them to see whether or not he is beside her.
People like her cannot love. People with her destiny aren't meant for love.
.end
Ending notes: This didn't come out the way I wanted it to. *sigh* But then again, I'm not quite sure how I pictured it anyway.
Edited 4.16.04: A few word choices changed and once again more parentheses fun.
.sepia days