Hao and a mother's love; a Keiko introspection of sorts.
Disclaimer: This is where I tell you that I don't own Shaman King.
Eve
.begin
Something her daughter-in-law said about her older son (her lost son) burned inside her memory.
"He told me that I reminded him of his first mother." Here, Anna had paused. "His real mother."
She was really telling Yoh, but Keiko couldn't help overhearing and hearing this created a tumult of emotions to arise.
She had met Mikihisa right out of high school, and they were married quietly (and happily, she might add). She had been so happy, though she was not of the disposition to show it. On her wedding day, her mother had warned her about the old destiny, but Keiko didn't care, didn't want to care. She had plunged in, just the same.
Mikihisa was all she wanted. A nice, small happy family and a quiet life were all she wanted.
One period missed, then the next, and the next…
Her stomach began to softly round, and she was sick and irritable, but she didn't want to tell her mother or father or even Mikihisa for that matter.
In the end, it was the morning sickness that brought her out.
They knew already, before she told him. They always knew.
They delayed in making any decisions, until she was well into her 8th month. It was a hard decision, and she did not blame them.
She would always remember that meeting when they finally decided to kill them both. There was no doubt that she would have twins.
She remembered sitting in a close circle outside, with only the stars for light.
"It's the only way." She didn't remember who said it; Mikihisa, Kino, or Yohmei. It might not have even been spoken, but this phrase was etched in her mind.
They looked to her for agreement, and she had memorized their faces. Her mother's face was fierce and determined; her father's like stone; she could read nothing. Mikihisa looked almost sick, and this impressed her the most, that this man was willing to kill his children to save the world. Her fingers curled around her bulging stomach.
Of course, she could only agree. These children, her children…if they had to be killed, better it be by the Asakura's.
"You don't believe that we're going to kill them, do you." It was a statement, and not a question that her mother had addressed her with the morning before that day.
She was surprised. "I do." Her hands touched her stomach.
"You don't," her mother gently disagreed. Strange, she had thought. Her mother usually did not talk as such. Loving, perhaps, was in her vocabulary, but not gentle. "You don't."
Keiko stared at her. "You exercise everyday and read baby books and watch what you eat. You play music for them; you even read to them." Her mother looked at her with something akin to compassion. Her fingers curled protectively.
Up until that moment, she had not realized what she was doing. Her eyes lowered to the ground, then lifted resolutely. "They're my children," she said softly. "We have to do what we have to do, but they're my children, and I can love them before they can know me."
"You shouldn't have," her mother began.
She cut her off. "Tell me you don't love them too, and then tell me I shouldn't love them."
Her mother was silent. "He is meant for great and terrible things."
She smiled. "So is the other."
The day passed and that day came all too quickly. She was frightened, and it must've shown. Mikihisa took her hand and smiled at her. "It'll be okay." Then, her water broke.
She remembered his face well; it would be the last time she would see it as such.
It made her sick, when she saw her father standing there, prepared for them. But after wave after wave of pain, she soon forgot and just pushed.
He came out first, wet and enveloped in blood. She suddenly remembered again, and her father raised his arm to strike. Their eyes met for a split instant, and she saw his eyes, sick with the deed that hadn't yet been committed.
It happened so quickly, she only remembered a burning flash of light, a terrible yell of agony, and the gentle crooning of reassurance.
It was her mother; her mother's voice was whispering soothing things to her, and Mikihisa…her heart gave a hitch, it was he who had yelled in such pain.
And there he was, in a great ball of fire. She gasped, but clearly heard him thank her for carrying him in her womb, and he was gone.
There was still one more, and her mother urged her to push, and she did with much pain and agony. And it was over.
Her mother handed Yoh to her, wrapped in blankets, still wailing.
She couldn't help thinking what he could be crying for.
She loved them both so much, it hurt. It hurt to know that someday, one of them would lose to the other. Both were so strong in their own way.
She could only be proud of Hao. A mother can only want the best for her children, and if this was what Hao wanted, then she was satisfied.
She knew with the utmost certainty that she was his real mother too.
.end
Ending notes: Keiko is so under appreciated, and her relationship [or lack thereof] with Hao is so sad and touching, I couldn't help it. The transition from the second to the last paragraph to the last line is awkward. Very, very awkward. I had no clue how to fix it, so I'm going to leave it as is, and if some brilliant thought comes to mind, I'll fix it.
Edited 4.16.04: Well, that last transition still isn't fixed, because I'm (apparently) not brilliant. Well, not too many major changes, just the beginning was moved around, added to, etc, etc.
.sepia days