Never Lose Me
Chapter Nine: Secrets
A/N: Yet again,I do not own J.K. Rowling's marvelous story and characters. The only character I own is Rhane (pronounced 'Rain'). BTW, this story opens as a student with a crush that is more than it seems, and the chapters will eventually lead to a 20-something woman with one.^___^ This song is also my own, as are the others. I wrote it. ^_^ It's a slow song, as all the ones for this story are, and pauses a lot.very melodramatic and moody and possibly sad,even. A bit twisted,too-and kinda long.lol^_^ Please review, and if you must criticize, do it CONSTRUCTIVELY,k? Nothing like, 'oh, Snape's ICKY, no girl would ever go after him.' Or anything like that,k? K.^_^ Yay for the White Stripes!!Bought 'White Blood Cells' the other day, it's inspiring me to write.^_^_^Happiness o'doooooom!^_____^Oh,yes,and in this fic, Draco isn't exactly EVIL, per say.just very, very disturbed, twisted, obsessed and sadistic.^_^.^_^'^_^YES it's disturbing, and YES it'll probably get worse.^_^' Please don't review and tell me I'm sick or anything for that last chapter(or chapt.6)-after all, it would seem quite silly to have Draco be sadistic and all and not try anything like that on Rhane, you know. ^_^
Confusion is nothing new, And this time it seems to have really bothered you. I don't know why this is going on I just want to run and run.
Don't understand the pain or the feelings My mind's lost, swirling and reeling. Hurt physically and unable to comprehend Needing someone my soul to mend.
Understanding and sanity are lost I guess it all got tossed. Trying to retrieve my mind from the tattered wreckage While you try to seduce me with your sick games and bondage.
Racing towards an ominous end I feel I'll break before I bend. You shall not steal my heart away And from my love I shall not stray, no matter what you do or say.
As Rhane walked, still disheveled, from the Slytherin Common Room with Professor Snape, she realized that the whole thing would look very wrong- particularly coming to this conclusion as Crabbe and Goyle walked up. Their mouths dropped open and their eyes widened. "Urm..SNAPE????" Snape radiated anger and the two shut up quickly and pretended to have never seen anything. He turned to Rhane, staring several long moments before shaking himself out of his 'trance' and, turning away from Rhane with arms crossed, spoke. "You should----go---to your own House, Rhane." Snape quickly strode away, heading for the dungeons he favored so much.
Rhane did as he said, crying herself to sleep silently, so that no one could hear. When she awoke the next morning, she decided to pretend everything was alright, that it had all been a nightmare---- of perhaps incredibly real sensations---but a nightmare nonetheless. She got dressed and grabbed her books, prepared to face her classes, to get there early and ready to learn. However, when she exited, Rhane found herself face-to-face with Malfoy. Eyes widening, Rhane turned to re-enter her House Common Room, but felt her shoulder gripped by Draco's strong, painful grip. The desperation and complete, utter despair in the silvery, smoky eyes startled her and even alarmed her slightly. He pulled her into the shadows and covered her mouth with one hand.
"Don't say a word, or try anything. I'm here to give you----this." He held forward another green-enveloped letter in----were his fingers slightly trembling?---one hand. "Please read it." Without warning, he leaned forward and actually kissed her gently, though she felt him twitch with repressed wishes to bite when he began to draw back. She knew it had taken a lot of willpower, which until this moment, Malfoy had appeared not to possess, to resist the urge to draw blood. As if involuntarily, however, he let his nails trail across a cheek, cutting slightly, then clenched her wrist tightly enough to create the red marks upon it. He shivered slightly and turned, mumbling something about 'leaving before he went too far again.' Rhane stared in complete shock, reaching a hand to touch the cuts before staring down at the letter. Looking around, she opened it slowly.
*** Rhane ***
Just hear me out---please read this letter, alright? I know something is consuming you, too, the way it is me. Do you feel completely yourself? I do, and yet---I don't, as well. I'm certain Snape is the same. I don't know what it is, but something possesses me to hurt you as much as possible and, to be quite frank, I enjoy it. I'm a sadistic sod, I know that. Got it honestly from my father, I did. I just want you to know that no matter what I do to you or how much I physically hurt you, I have a secret, too, just like you. I'll even tell you what it is. Despite what I physically do to you, despite ALL the pain and ALL the torment I put you through, despite frightening you out of your wits intentionally, repeatedly, I honestly have to say---I do love you. In an obsessive and probably quite disturbing way, yes, but love is love, you know. I simply cannot control myself. This is both a confession and an apology for acts which I KNOW I will commit in the future. I saw my father today, he came to---to---to talk to me, mostly about school and such. I don't want to talk about it.
*** Draco M----oh, just Bloody Draco. I'm sure you think of me as bloody anyways. A Bloody Sod. ***
Rhane stared and reread the letter, over and over. Surely this was her imagination! She could NOT be reading those words on this paper from DRACO MALFOY!!! It was impossible! She folded the letter and tucked it away, walking towards her first class with a sort of daze. This was insane! It couldn't BE! Rhane went through her classes without really absorbing them, and found herself almost LOOKING for Draco at lunch. He wasn't at the Slytherin table, and even the other Slytherins looked puzzled. So Rhane inconspicuously stood up and began looking for him. She found him in a dark hall, and at the expression on his face began to wonder if it HAD all been her imagination, that letter and that restraint. His eyes, resting on her, had a hungry look, and seemed almost to be on fire. Draco walked over to her and grabbed her roughly by the shoulders.
"Draco? I----I read your letter----I'm confused. Which personality is real? I---." She felt a twinge of anger when Draco laughed. He shoved her against a wall, pinning his body to hers. Only then did she notice he was, for some odd reason, not in normal Hogwarts attire. Instead, he was wearing pajama bottoms---and only bottoms---that were of ink-black silk. The silk felt smooth and silky, but Draco's skin was burning and feverish. He snogged her again, but this time is was more aggressive, much more like the earlier, brutal kisses. His teeth again pierced her lip and he kept his mouth locked to hers, while still licking the blood away as it flowed. Her eyes widened, confused. Why was he suddenly different, back to the normal, abusive self? His grip tightened on her shoulders and she clenched her eyes with pain. Rhane tried to hit his chest, but the small, restricted blows appeared to have no effect other than to inflame his skin-- -and probably his passion, as well. Suddenly, he passed out and, unable to hold his weight, she felt his unconscious body pull her to the floor, weighing her down, and making it almost impossible to move. She felt, naturally, rather trapped. So Rhane let herself fall asleep---after all, Draco was knocked out cold, and she slept lightly enough that she would KNOW if he moved.
Rhane woke up several hours later as the figure pinning her down stirred. Slowly, Draco raised his face and stared up into Rhane's eyes. Unable to look away, Rhane whispered. "Please get up, I've missed so many classes I should be expelled or something by now, and you're HEAVY." Draco laughed and stood up slowly, swaying slightly. Rhane suddenly felt touched by compassion. 'Why should I feel sorry for HIM? After all he's done to ME?? But----I still feel----what DO I feel? I know this feeling never existed in any other life.' Suddenly, she noticed something. There was a welt, right across one of his ribs, and another across his back. Rhane's eyes widened, then narrowed. 'Whatever could have HAPPENED to him? I---I suppose I should bring him to Madame Pomfrey.'
She slowly took Draco by the arm and began to lead the swaying, almost unconscious Slytherin down the hallways to the Hospital Wing. When she arrived, Madame Pomfrey took the news quite calmly.
"Ah. I thought this would happen---Lucius Malfoy was here earlier, after all." Madame Pomfrey mumbled. "Thank you for bringing him in, Miss Jiyn, though---I must admit---I'm surprised to see a Gryffindor bring in a Slytherin---ESPECIALLY one like Mister Malfoy. Well, you should head along to your Common Room or next class. Go on."
As Rhane left, she felt more confused than ever, she began to think of what Madame Pomfrey had just said. The woman had behaved as if she KNEW that something was----wrong---or---SOMETHING---with Draco's family---as if she suspected---no, more like KNEW----that Lucius abused his son or something. Did he? She felt more bewildered than ever and tried to ignore whatever it was that she was feeling. Was it---remorse? Pity? Rhane stared ahead of her and attempted to forget the whole thing. But the memory of the welts she'd seen on Draco, the feeling of the burning, fevered skin that worried her so, the strange words Madame Pomfrey had spoken upon receiving the almost unconscious Draco Malfoy, all kept haunting her. What did it all mean? Her brow contorted as she attempted to think of the implications--- both of what actually had happened to haunt her so, and of why she felt so full of pity and perplexity for DRACO MALFOY. Why? What did it all mean? And---very importantly---what OTHER secret, that had been untold in the letter, did Draco hold?
AUTHOR'S NOTE: WOW----talk about confusion! Yay!^________________________^ Enjoy yourself!
Chapter Nine: Secrets
A/N: Yet again,I do not own J.K. Rowling's marvelous story and characters. The only character I own is Rhane (pronounced 'Rain'). BTW, this story opens as a student with a crush that is more than it seems, and the chapters will eventually lead to a 20-something woman with one.^___^ This song is also my own, as are the others. I wrote it. ^_^ It's a slow song, as all the ones for this story are, and pauses a lot.very melodramatic and moody and possibly sad,even. A bit twisted,too-and kinda long.lol^_^ Please review, and if you must criticize, do it CONSTRUCTIVELY,k? Nothing like, 'oh, Snape's ICKY, no girl would ever go after him.' Or anything like that,k? K.^_^ Yay for the White Stripes!!Bought 'White Blood Cells' the other day, it's inspiring me to write.^_^_^Happiness o'doooooom!^_____^Oh,yes,and in this fic, Draco isn't exactly EVIL, per say.just very, very disturbed, twisted, obsessed and sadistic.^_^.^_^'^_^YES it's disturbing, and YES it'll probably get worse.^_^' Please don't review and tell me I'm sick or anything for that last chapter(or chapt.6)-after all, it would seem quite silly to have Draco be sadistic and all and not try anything like that on Rhane, you know. ^_^
Confusion is nothing new, And this time it seems to have really bothered you. I don't know why this is going on I just want to run and run.
Don't understand the pain or the feelings My mind's lost, swirling and reeling. Hurt physically and unable to comprehend Needing someone my soul to mend.
Understanding and sanity are lost I guess it all got tossed. Trying to retrieve my mind from the tattered wreckage While you try to seduce me with your sick games and bondage.
Racing towards an ominous end I feel I'll break before I bend. You shall not steal my heart away And from my love I shall not stray, no matter what you do or say.
As Rhane walked, still disheveled, from the Slytherin Common Room with Professor Snape, she realized that the whole thing would look very wrong- particularly coming to this conclusion as Crabbe and Goyle walked up. Their mouths dropped open and their eyes widened. "Urm..SNAPE????" Snape radiated anger and the two shut up quickly and pretended to have never seen anything. He turned to Rhane, staring several long moments before shaking himself out of his 'trance' and, turning away from Rhane with arms crossed, spoke. "You should----go---to your own House, Rhane." Snape quickly strode away, heading for the dungeons he favored so much.
Rhane did as he said, crying herself to sleep silently, so that no one could hear. When she awoke the next morning, she decided to pretend everything was alright, that it had all been a nightmare---- of perhaps incredibly real sensations---but a nightmare nonetheless. She got dressed and grabbed her books, prepared to face her classes, to get there early and ready to learn. However, when she exited, Rhane found herself face-to-face with Malfoy. Eyes widening, Rhane turned to re-enter her House Common Room, but felt her shoulder gripped by Draco's strong, painful grip. The desperation and complete, utter despair in the silvery, smoky eyes startled her and even alarmed her slightly. He pulled her into the shadows and covered her mouth with one hand.
"Don't say a word, or try anything. I'm here to give you----this." He held forward another green-enveloped letter in----were his fingers slightly trembling?---one hand. "Please read it." Without warning, he leaned forward and actually kissed her gently, though she felt him twitch with repressed wishes to bite when he began to draw back. She knew it had taken a lot of willpower, which until this moment, Malfoy had appeared not to possess, to resist the urge to draw blood. As if involuntarily, however, he let his nails trail across a cheek, cutting slightly, then clenched her wrist tightly enough to create the red marks upon it. He shivered slightly and turned, mumbling something about 'leaving before he went too far again.' Rhane stared in complete shock, reaching a hand to touch the cuts before staring down at the letter. Looking around, she opened it slowly.
*** Rhane ***
Just hear me out---please read this letter, alright? I know something is consuming you, too, the way it is me. Do you feel completely yourself? I do, and yet---I don't, as well. I'm certain Snape is the same. I don't know what it is, but something possesses me to hurt you as much as possible and, to be quite frank, I enjoy it. I'm a sadistic sod, I know that. Got it honestly from my father, I did. I just want you to know that no matter what I do to you or how much I physically hurt you, I have a secret, too, just like you. I'll even tell you what it is. Despite what I physically do to you, despite ALL the pain and ALL the torment I put you through, despite frightening you out of your wits intentionally, repeatedly, I honestly have to say---I do love you. In an obsessive and probably quite disturbing way, yes, but love is love, you know. I simply cannot control myself. This is both a confession and an apology for acts which I KNOW I will commit in the future. I saw my father today, he came to---to---to talk to me, mostly about school and such. I don't want to talk about it.
*** Draco M----oh, just Bloody Draco. I'm sure you think of me as bloody anyways. A Bloody Sod. ***
Rhane stared and reread the letter, over and over. Surely this was her imagination! She could NOT be reading those words on this paper from DRACO MALFOY!!! It was impossible! She folded the letter and tucked it away, walking towards her first class with a sort of daze. This was insane! It couldn't BE! Rhane went through her classes without really absorbing them, and found herself almost LOOKING for Draco at lunch. He wasn't at the Slytherin table, and even the other Slytherins looked puzzled. So Rhane inconspicuously stood up and began looking for him. She found him in a dark hall, and at the expression on his face began to wonder if it HAD all been her imagination, that letter and that restraint. His eyes, resting on her, had a hungry look, and seemed almost to be on fire. Draco walked over to her and grabbed her roughly by the shoulders.
"Draco? I----I read your letter----I'm confused. Which personality is real? I---." She felt a twinge of anger when Draco laughed. He shoved her against a wall, pinning his body to hers. Only then did she notice he was, for some odd reason, not in normal Hogwarts attire. Instead, he was wearing pajama bottoms---and only bottoms---that were of ink-black silk. The silk felt smooth and silky, but Draco's skin was burning and feverish. He snogged her again, but this time is was more aggressive, much more like the earlier, brutal kisses. His teeth again pierced her lip and he kept his mouth locked to hers, while still licking the blood away as it flowed. Her eyes widened, confused. Why was he suddenly different, back to the normal, abusive self? His grip tightened on her shoulders and she clenched her eyes with pain. Rhane tried to hit his chest, but the small, restricted blows appeared to have no effect other than to inflame his skin-- -and probably his passion, as well. Suddenly, he passed out and, unable to hold his weight, she felt his unconscious body pull her to the floor, weighing her down, and making it almost impossible to move. She felt, naturally, rather trapped. So Rhane let herself fall asleep---after all, Draco was knocked out cold, and she slept lightly enough that she would KNOW if he moved.
Rhane woke up several hours later as the figure pinning her down stirred. Slowly, Draco raised his face and stared up into Rhane's eyes. Unable to look away, Rhane whispered. "Please get up, I've missed so many classes I should be expelled or something by now, and you're HEAVY." Draco laughed and stood up slowly, swaying slightly. Rhane suddenly felt touched by compassion. 'Why should I feel sorry for HIM? After all he's done to ME?? But----I still feel----what DO I feel? I know this feeling never existed in any other life.' Suddenly, she noticed something. There was a welt, right across one of his ribs, and another across his back. Rhane's eyes widened, then narrowed. 'Whatever could have HAPPENED to him? I---I suppose I should bring him to Madame Pomfrey.'
She slowly took Draco by the arm and began to lead the swaying, almost unconscious Slytherin down the hallways to the Hospital Wing. When she arrived, Madame Pomfrey took the news quite calmly.
"Ah. I thought this would happen---Lucius Malfoy was here earlier, after all." Madame Pomfrey mumbled. "Thank you for bringing him in, Miss Jiyn, though---I must admit---I'm surprised to see a Gryffindor bring in a Slytherin---ESPECIALLY one like Mister Malfoy. Well, you should head along to your Common Room or next class. Go on."
As Rhane left, she felt more confused than ever, she began to think of what Madame Pomfrey had just said. The woman had behaved as if she KNEW that something was----wrong---or---SOMETHING---with Draco's family---as if she suspected---no, more like KNEW----that Lucius abused his son or something. Did he? She felt more bewildered than ever and tried to ignore whatever it was that she was feeling. Was it---remorse? Pity? Rhane stared ahead of her and attempted to forget the whole thing. But the memory of the welts she'd seen on Draco, the feeling of the burning, fevered skin that worried her so, the strange words Madame Pomfrey had spoken upon receiving the almost unconscious Draco Malfoy, all kept haunting her. What did it all mean? Her brow contorted as she attempted to think of the implications--- both of what actually had happened to haunt her so, and of why she felt so full of pity and perplexity for DRACO MALFOY. Why? What did it all mean? And---very importantly---what OTHER secret, that had been untold in the letter, did Draco hold?
AUTHOR'S NOTE: WOW----talk about confusion! Yay!^________________________^ Enjoy yourself!