Never Lose Me
Chapter Twelve: Letters
A/N: Yet again,I do not own J.K. Rowling's marvelous story and characters. The only character I own is Rhane (pronounced 'Rain'). BTW, this story opens as a student with a crush that is more than it seems, and the chapters will eventually lead to a 20-something woman with one.^___^ This song is also my own, as are the others. I wrote it. ^_^ It's a slow song, as all the ones for this story are, and pauses a lot.very melodramatic and moody and possibly sad,even. A bit twisted,too-and kinda long.lol^_^ Please review, and if you must criticize, do it CONSTRUCTIVELY,k? Nothing like, 'oh, Snape's ICKY, no girl would ever go after him.' Or anything like that,k? K.^_^ Yay for the White Stripes!!Bought 'White Blood Cells' the other day, it's inspiring me to write.^_^_^Happiness o'doooooom!^_____^Oh,yes,and in this fic, Draco isn't exactly EVIL, per say.just very, very disturbed, twisted, obsessed and sadistic.^_^.^_^'^_^YES it's disturbing, and YES it'll probably get worse.^_^' Please don't review and tell me I'm sick or anything for any of these chapters-after all, it would seem quite silly to have Draco be sadistic and all and not try anything like that on Rhane, you know. Besides, if you've gotten this far, you must not really mind disturbingness. ^_^ Oh, and all poems in these stories,I wrote.^_^ALSO---- IT IS ACTUALLY DECEMBER IN THESE LAST FEW CHAPTERS.
THANK YOU :
The-m-chick: Your story is sooo great!! Hope mine is interesting, there's a lot of psychoanalysis in this story, in case anyone noticed. Growing up with a psychiatrist/physician for a guardian tends to mean you learn a bit about it. Not necessarily a lot, but I always listen to my granddad, and therefore tend to accidentally add these things to my stories.^_^' Thanks for reviewing and continuing to read my disturbing story!^____^
Lady Juleya: Thanks for being one of my first reviewers!^_^
Aelis: You, too!^__________^
Marvin: thanks!!!^_______^
Clara: THANK YOU!!^_^
Helena Darjeeling: THANKS!^__^
HEN: Encouragement much appreciated!^___^
Sabby: Yay! Glad you liked it!^______^ Hope you're still reading!^_^
Little One: THANK YOU SOOOOO MUCH FOR YOUR POSITIVE REINFORCEMENT!!!! It's really wonderful to see that someone is still reading!! THANKS!^____________^
Sarah: YAY!^________^Thanks for reviewing, you know you're one of my best friends. One of the few who'll put up with my weird freakishness LATE at night((or early in the morning-whatever it is.O_o))
Amiella Rogue:THANKS! Yay! A new reader!^____^
RoseFyre: YAY! Another new reader! Glad people like my twisted story-ness of doooom!^_^_^'
THANK ALL OF YOU FOR REVIEWING, IT REALLY ENCOURAGES ME!^_________^
***********************************************************
'Writing swift and smoothly, Midnight black ink on creamy paper Write until you can't write anymore, all has been said so simply. Then crumple it up, another little pyre.
Little letters, so many never sent Wondering where my mind could have went. Have you seen it? If so, tell it to give a call, I'd really like to have it back before it gets me into a brawl.
So many things to say, not enough guts to say them all Never tell a soul, keep it all inside That's why they say pride comes before a fall. Learning just now how to take things in stride.
Little letters, whatever have I done? I do believe I gave away one. It shall be my doom, this I see, And that will be the end of me.'
Rhane stared out the window. Three days---and only that---until the Yule Ball. She could scarcely believe it. It seemed unreal---completely. Suddenly, she saw an owl---her mother's---outside of the window. Looking around, she let the bird in. As Rhane fed the owl---Lrin'a---she examined the package it had been gripping in its claws. Apparently her mother remembered Christmas was coming, after all. Even better, she'd remembered Rhane existed---that was a plus. The brunette began unwrapping her present.
It was a dress robe---an absolutely stunning dress robe. It must have been her mother's, for the once-powerful witch had no way to shop for it, and besides, it looked as if it had been worn at least once---not that it was in bad shape! It was in excellent, well-cared-for condition, as if someone had really loved it once. It was long, probably down a tad past her ankles, with flowing, medieval-like sleeves. It was the deepest, richest shade of black, and had two layers---a velvet-looking underlayer covered by a sheer layer that was sprinkled with incredibly realistic stars. It had a square neck and a princess waistline. From the folds of the dress fell a pair of small black shoes with the tiniest of heels and a pair of sparkling star earrings, the dangling sort. And, of course, a card. She sat down, carefully setting the dress robe and accessories aside, and read the card.
*** Rhane ***
'I hope you will enjoy this. The dress was a present from your father to me when I was very young. It is a Christmas present to you, as I have no need for it now, and you have all the use in the world for it.'
Rhane looked perplexed for a moment. She'd never received new dress robes for any other Yule Ball. Why now? Unfortunately, the next line explained this, as she read on.
'I am also gifting this to you because you are engaged. I'm sorry for not telling you, sweetheart, but it was something I had no control over, and therefore I felt it would be best to keep it from you as long as possible. Your intended is one Draco Malfoy, a Slytherin, you may already know him. I assume you shall be attending the Yule Ball with him, therefore, this dress robe is for you to wear to that event. Please enjoy yourself and have a wonderful Christmas, Rhane.'
*** Mum ***
Rhane stared in horror at the letter. Suddenly, all thoughts she'd entertained about EVER attending ANYthing with Draco Malfoy fled from her mind. She would NOT go anywhere with that little sadistic monster! But--- the dress robe was SO pretty! Did she HAVE to go with Draco to wear it? How would her mother ever know? A crafty look came to her face. She wouldn't know, would she? Of course not.
So she wrote a letter.
His hands trembling slightly, Draco began to write.
*** Rhane *** I hope you realize that we shall be attending the Yule Ball together. We are engaged, don't forget that. I know you do not love me, I know you love someone else---but it is impossible for you to attend with him, and you SHALL be my escort. I won't allow you to go with any other soul, be he living, dead, or half-alive. Hope that was ABSOLUTELY clear.
*** Love, Draco (the bloody sod)***
He fastened it, still shaking somewhat, with a silver-green seal and attached a tiny dried red rose blossom to it with a small silver ribbon. So saying, he looked for his owl to send the letter. As soon as it was winging its way towards the Gryffindor Common Room, Draco sank into a sofa with a look of sheer exhaustion.
Finally, he rose to examine his own new dress robes. His father had purchased them and sent them, as he did every year, though this year there had been a slightly different letter.
*** Draco *** Hope this shall be good enough to dazzle everyone with. Do wear it to that Christmas party thing---what was it again? Ah, well----with your little pet. I assume you've managed to completely captivate her by now, using whatever methods in existence, as I did with your mother.
*** Lucius Malfoy ***
Draco looked at the robe and its other components with a slightly saddened air. His father always bought him the nicest, most lovely garments and things---but he would much rather have had a father who sincerely cared rather than a sadistic abuser who had passed on the horrid qualities he possessed to his son and never really loved him. Shrugging, he looked down at the deep, dark, almost black green shirt with slightly flared silver skull-buttoned cuffs, the black silk fitted pants and shiny leather boots with silver swirl clasps down the front, the long black cloak-robe of the finest quality velvet, with an intricate Celtic clasp at the top left shoulder. He sighed. Well, at least they were nice clothes---
Draco sat down and began to write in his notebook.
'Dare I speak? Dare I let myself think you might not hate me? Perhaps something's in my eyes, blinding me. Either that, or it's all my imagination But whatever it is, I can't seem to use caution. Locked in eternal battle between me and myself, One part of me always ends up locked in a box on a shelf.
Don't understand, you look so strangely at me then turn away Or perhaps I'm wrong, reading minds is not my forte.
But I try and try to understand-perhaps you don't listen to a word I say. I love you, I love you, how many times do I have to tell you? Though I cannot help the way I treat you, so you probably think it isn't true. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, but it's too late to ever change And I'm sorry again if that sounds strange.'
Snape was mixing a particularly difficult potion when the small, brown owl with black flecks swooped in with a letter. He stared in shock at the delicate handwriting on the satiny envelope, looked around, and tore open the seal to the letter. His hands trembled as he realized whom it was from.
*** Severus (Or Professor Snape, if you wish.) ***
I cannot impress upon you how important it is to read this letter to the end! First, however, a poem:
'Darkness and confused hearts, never understanding what it is I mean to say Love I know, as always before, so many lifetimes, is here to stay. Known you since forever began Can't forget all of my sin. I'm sorry if this isn't making you feel any better, I'm afraid it's impossible to say this in a way that'll make you comfortable. Sorry if this poem is a little too forceful. But it's in my heart and in my soul My love for you has taken its toll. No longer a child, I can only ask you to understand My mind is doing somersaults and refuses to land. Please admit love, if you feel it And promise me to tell me if any candles in your heart have been lit.'
I do hope you will realize that I am, basically, asking you to attend the Yule Ball with me. If this is not possible, I do not know what I shall do, perhaps attend the ball alone, but PLEASE, promise you will dance at least-- --if only---one dance with me! I would die in utter bliss if you should do this, if you should honor THIS request at least.
*** Forever, Rhane ***
Snape looked dumbfounded down at the letter. What should he do? He didn't know, but---no, there WAS no but! He COULD not attend the ball with her--- she was a STUDENT! 'And if she was but a year older, you could attend with her or anything else. She is no child, she was right about that.' 'Curse you! I CANNOT go with her---ANYwhere! I may want to---.' 'So you DO want to, then!' 'Yes---yes I do. Are you happy now? I DO want to go to the Yule Ball, to the MOON, even, with her! Wherever she goes, I'd love to follow! But it is IMPOSSIBLE!' 'I argue with that---but now isn't the time. I suppose you shall turn her down, then? What about her one request? For just one dance? That's harmless, at least.' 'True---that I can agree with without compromising my job.'
Rhane stared at the letter. Draco was---ORDERING her to go to the dance with him! And---what was this dried rose for? Her? Or had it been a mistake? The letter was so obviously from that manipulative, violent side of him that the flower seemed out of place and delicate. She stared, perplexed at the letter again, rereading it for the fifth time. Rhane had been left no choice, no say in the matter, by the letter's wording. 'Whatever should I do? I know Snape will turn me down, I imagine he shan't even dance ONE dance with me! But---I do not wish to go with Draco, either, it would be a betrayal of Snape, my pain and my heart!' 'Are you sure it would be a betrayal to ALL those things?' 'OF COURSE!' 'If you say so----.' The other little voice in her head was laughing at her. She frowned and sighed, slumping into a seat by the fireplace. The brunette still had three days to decide---if it was, indeed, her decision at all.
Author's Note: Whee! FUN!^________^' Hope this is as enjoyable for all of you as it is for me! I'm really loving writing this, and your encouraging reviews have REALLY helped me so much! Thank you all!^______________^ Whew, this was a long chapter---^_^ um---Sarah? I didn't see that many typos, actually---except fragment sentences in places, but that's intentional, cause thoughts are often fragmented----^_^'
Chapter Twelve: Letters
A/N: Yet again,I do not own J.K. Rowling's marvelous story and characters. The only character I own is Rhane (pronounced 'Rain'). BTW, this story opens as a student with a crush that is more than it seems, and the chapters will eventually lead to a 20-something woman with one.^___^ This song is also my own, as are the others. I wrote it. ^_^ It's a slow song, as all the ones for this story are, and pauses a lot.very melodramatic and moody and possibly sad,even. A bit twisted,too-and kinda long.lol^_^ Please review, and if you must criticize, do it CONSTRUCTIVELY,k? Nothing like, 'oh, Snape's ICKY, no girl would ever go after him.' Or anything like that,k? K.^_^ Yay for the White Stripes!!Bought 'White Blood Cells' the other day, it's inspiring me to write.^_^_^Happiness o'doooooom!^_____^Oh,yes,and in this fic, Draco isn't exactly EVIL, per say.just very, very disturbed, twisted, obsessed and sadistic.^_^.^_^'^_^YES it's disturbing, and YES it'll probably get worse.^_^' Please don't review and tell me I'm sick or anything for any of these chapters-after all, it would seem quite silly to have Draco be sadistic and all and not try anything like that on Rhane, you know. Besides, if you've gotten this far, you must not really mind disturbingness. ^_^ Oh, and all poems in these stories,I wrote.^_^ALSO---- IT IS ACTUALLY DECEMBER IN THESE LAST FEW CHAPTERS.
THANK YOU :
The-m-chick: Your story is sooo great!! Hope mine is interesting, there's a lot of psychoanalysis in this story, in case anyone noticed. Growing up with a psychiatrist/physician for a guardian tends to mean you learn a bit about it. Not necessarily a lot, but I always listen to my granddad, and therefore tend to accidentally add these things to my stories.^_^' Thanks for reviewing and continuing to read my disturbing story!^____^
Lady Juleya: Thanks for being one of my first reviewers!^_^
Aelis: You, too!^__________^
Marvin: thanks!!!^_______^
Clara: THANK YOU!!^_^
Helena Darjeeling: THANKS!^__^
HEN: Encouragement much appreciated!^___^
Sabby: Yay! Glad you liked it!^______^ Hope you're still reading!^_^
Little One: THANK YOU SOOOOO MUCH FOR YOUR POSITIVE REINFORCEMENT!!!! It's really wonderful to see that someone is still reading!! THANKS!^____________^
Sarah: YAY!^________^Thanks for reviewing, you know you're one of my best friends. One of the few who'll put up with my weird freakishness LATE at night((or early in the morning-whatever it is.O_o))
Amiella Rogue:THANKS! Yay! A new reader!^____^
RoseFyre: YAY! Another new reader! Glad people like my twisted story-ness of doooom!^_^_^'
THANK ALL OF YOU FOR REVIEWING, IT REALLY ENCOURAGES ME!^_________^
***********************************************************
'Writing swift and smoothly, Midnight black ink on creamy paper Write until you can't write anymore, all has been said so simply. Then crumple it up, another little pyre.
Little letters, so many never sent Wondering where my mind could have went. Have you seen it? If so, tell it to give a call, I'd really like to have it back before it gets me into a brawl.
So many things to say, not enough guts to say them all Never tell a soul, keep it all inside That's why they say pride comes before a fall. Learning just now how to take things in stride.
Little letters, whatever have I done? I do believe I gave away one. It shall be my doom, this I see, And that will be the end of me.'
Rhane stared out the window. Three days---and only that---until the Yule Ball. She could scarcely believe it. It seemed unreal---completely. Suddenly, she saw an owl---her mother's---outside of the window. Looking around, she let the bird in. As Rhane fed the owl---Lrin'a---she examined the package it had been gripping in its claws. Apparently her mother remembered Christmas was coming, after all. Even better, she'd remembered Rhane existed---that was a plus. The brunette began unwrapping her present.
It was a dress robe---an absolutely stunning dress robe. It must have been her mother's, for the once-powerful witch had no way to shop for it, and besides, it looked as if it had been worn at least once---not that it was in bad shape! It was in excellent, well-cared-for condition, as if someone had really loved it once. It was long, probably down a tad past her ankles, with flowing, medieval-like sleeves. It was the deepest, richest shade of black, and had two layers---a velvet-looking underlayer covered by a sheer layer that was sprinkled with incredibly realistic stars. It had a square neck and a princess waistline. From the folds of the dress fell a pair of small black shoes with the tiniest of heels and a pair of sparkling star earrings, the dangling sort. And, of course, a card. She sat down, carefully setting the dress robe and accessories aside, and read the card.
*** Rhane ***
'I hope you will enjoy this. The dress was a present from your father to me when I was very young. It is a Christmas present to you, as I have no need for it now, and you have all the use in the world for it.'
Rhane looked perplexed for a moment. She'd never received new dress robes for any other Yule Ball. Why now? Unfortunately, the next line explained this, as she read on.
'I am also gifting this to you because you are engaged. I'm sorry for not telling you, sweetheart, but it was something I had no control over, and therefore I felt it would be best to keep it from you as long as possible. Your intended is one Draco Malfoy, a Slytherin, you may already know him. I assume you shall be attending the Yule Ball with him, therefore, this dress robe is for you to wear to that event. Please enjoy yourself and have a wonderful Christmas, Rhane.'
*** Mum ***
Rhane stared in horror at the letter. Suddenly, all thoughts she'd entertained about EVER attending ANYthing with Draco Malfoy fled from her mind. She would NOT go anywhere with that little sadistic monster! But--- the dress robe was SO pretty! Did she HAVE to go with Draco to wear it? How would her mother ever know? A crafty look came to her face. She wouldn't know, would she? Of course not.
So she wrote a letter.
His hands trembling slightly, Draco began to write.
*** Rhane *** I hope you realize that we shall be attending the Yule Ball together. We are engaged, don't forget that. I know you do not love me, I know you love someone else---but it is impossible for you to attend with him, and you SHALL be my escort. I won't allow you to go with any other soul, be he living, dead, or half-alive. Hope that was ABSOLUTELY clear.
*** Love, Draco (the bloody sod)***
He fastened it, still shaking somewhat, with a silver-green seal and attached a tiny dried red rose blossom to it with a small silver ribbon. So saying, he looked for his owl to send the letter. As soon as it was winging its way towards the Gryffindor Common Room, Draco sank into a sofa with a look of sheer exhaustion.
Finally, he rose to examine his own new dress robes. His father had purchased them and sent them, as he did every year, though this year there had been a slightly different letter.
*** Draco *** Hope this shall be good enough to dazzle everyone with. Do wear it to that Christmas party thing---what was it again? Ah, well----with your little pet. I assume you've managed to completely captivate her by now, using whatever methods in existence, as I did with your mother.
*** Lucius Malfoy ***
Draco looked at the robe and its other components with a slightly saddened air. His father always bought him the nicest, most lovely garments and things---but he would much rather have had a father who sincerely cared rather than a sadistic abuser who had passed on the horrid qualities he possessed to his son and never really loved him. Shrugging, he looked down at the deep, dark, almost black green shirt with slightly flared silver skull-buttoned cuffs, the black silk fitted pants and shiny leather boots with silver swirl clasps down the front, the long black cloak-robe of the finest quality velvet, with an intricate Celtic clasp at the top left shoulder. He sighed. Well, at least they were nice clothes---
Draco sat down and began to write in his notebook.
'Dare I speak? Dare I let myself think you might not hate me? Perhaps something's in my eyes, blinding me. Either that, or it's all my imagination But whatever it is, I can't seem to use caution. Locked in eternal battle between me and myself, One part of me always ends up locked in a box on a shelf.
Don't understand, you look so strangely at me then turn away Or perhaps I'm wrong, reading minds is not my forte.
But I try and try to understand-perhaps you don't listen to a word I say. I love you, I love you, how many times do I have to tell you? Though I cannot help the way I treat you, so you probably think it isn't true. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, but it's too late to ever change And I'm sorry again if that sounds strange.'
Snape was mixing a particularly difficult potion when the small, brown owl with black flecks swooped in with a letter. He stared in shock at the delicate handwriting on the satiny envelope, looked around, and tore open the seal to the letter. His hands trembled as he realized whom it was from.
*** Severus (Or Professor Snape, if you wish.) ***
I cannot impress upon you how important it is to read this letter to the end! First, however, a poem:
'Darkness and confused hearts, never understanding what it is I mean to say Love I know, as always before, so many lifetimes, is here to stay. Known you since forever began Can't forget all of my sin. I'm sorry if this isn't making you feel any better, I'm afraid it's impossible to say this in a way that'll make you comfortable. Sorry if this poem is a little too forceful. But it's in my heart and in my soul My love for you has taken its toll. No longer a child, I can only ask you to understand My mind is doing somersaults and refuses to land. Please admit love, if you feel it And promise me to tell me if any candles in your heart have been lit.'
I do hope you will realize that I am, basically, asking you to attend the Yule Ball with me. If this is not possible, I do not know what I shall do, perhaps attend the ball alone, but PLEASE, promise you will dance at least-- --if only---one dance with me! I would die in utter bliss if you should do this, if you should honor THIS request at least.
*** Forever, Rhane ***
Snape looked dumbfounded down at the letter. What should he do? He didn't know, but---no, there WAS no but! He COULD not attend the ball with her--- she was a STUDENT! 'And if she was but a year older, you could attend with her or anything else. She is no child, she was right about that.' 'Curse you! I CANNOT go with her---ANYwhere! I may want to---.' 'So you DO want to, then!' 'Yes---yes I do. Are you happy now? I DO want to go to the Yule Ball, to the MOON, even, with her! Wherever she goes, I'd love to follow! But it is IMPOSSIBLE!' 'I argue with that---but now isn't the time. I suppose you shall turn her down, then? What about her one request? For just one dance? That's harmless, at least.' 'True---that I can agree with without compromising my job.'
Rhane stared at the letter. Draco was---ORDERING her to go to the dance with him! And---what was this dried rose for? Her? Or had it been a mistake? The letter was so obviously from that manipulative, violent side of him that the flower seemed out of place and delicate. She stared, perplexed at the letter again, rereading it for the fifth time. Rhane had been left no choice, no say in the matter, by the letter's wording. 'Whatever should I do? I know Snape will turn me down, I imagine he shan't even dance ONE dance with me! But---I do not wish to go with Draco, either, it would be a betrayal of Snape, my pain and my heart!' 'Are you sure it would be a betrayal to ALL those things?' 'OF COURSE!' 'If you say so----.' The other little voice in her head was laughing at her. She frowned and sighed, slumping into a seat by the fireplace. The brunette still had three days to decide---if it was, indeed, her decision at all.
Author's Note: Whee! FUN!^________^' Hope this is as enjoyable for all of you as it is for me! I'm really loving writing this, and your encouraging reviews have REALLY helped me so much! Thank you all!^______________^ Whew, this was a long chapter---^_^ um---Sarah? I didn't see that many typos, actually---except fragment sentences in places, but that's intentional, cause thoughts are often fragmented----^_^'