True to his word, Remus was indeed still there when Sirius awoke. Running
his fingers through his hair in attempts to rid it of the last few
resistant knots, he clumsily stumbled down the circular stair case, mouth
open to release a loud, reckless yawn as he moved. Tripping over the last
few steps, he made a grab for the rail beside the steps and clung tightly
to it to prevent himself from falling. Laughing quietly at his own mishaps,
his gaze swept across the Common Room as he steadied his unbalanced figure,
looking for one thing in particular. He quickly caught site of it.
His werewolf friend was in the same chair as earlier that night, or morning, to be exact, curled up into a small, tight fitting ball, one hand hanging over the side of the piece of furniture, a book dangling unsteadily from his fingers. Light brown hair fell mussed and tangled before his eyes, lips opened partially as to take in the deep, steady breathes of sleep. The rhythmic movement of his chest rising and falling entranced and enticed Sirius, but he wasn't able to bask in the site of sleeping Remus for long.
"Padfoot, get a move on, why don't you?" James's familiar voice complained groggily from behind, prodding Sirius in the back with his finger. "You're blocking the way, and I need to make a visit to the loo." Glancing over his shoulder and sighing in exaggerated frustration, he flashed his friend a grin before leaping away from the bottom of the staircase. He continued to smooth out his hair, and he couldn't help but laugh as James reached up and mussed his own locks, purposely making his hair messier than necessary.
"In a good mood this morning, eh? You're probably the only one," he continued, words slurred with sleepiness. "Peter appears to be sick and the full moon is almost here. I told Pettigrew not to take your dare. Honestly, telling him to go out into the snow stark naked! He'll sneeze the few brains he has left out his brain before Christmas, I'm telling you." Shaking his head in a helpless, pitying manner, James gave a soft grunt and walked past Sirius, heading off to go to the bathroom and leaving the other in a fit of laughter.
After James had left and Sirius had recovered from his amusement, the onyx haired youth moved over to Remus's chair, peering over the edge and smiling softly at the sleeping form. Unlike many, the werewolf's sleeping form was just like his awakened one; always calm, seemingly gentle, and holding an air of innocence, the Prefect never seemed to change. Who knew what went on within the mind of such a youth? Sirius surely did not, and it had bothered him to no end last night. He had gotten little to no sleep, worrying over what Remus's initial reaction would be when they met in the morning. Well lookie there. The kid's damn reaction was to snore and dream away.
"Should I wake him up?" Sirius thought aloud, stroking his chin in a pondering manner, as if he was deciding his friend's fate. Coughing from behind him broke his train of thought, though, and he once again looked over his shoulder, a bemused eyebrow already quirked.
"You shouldn't-" Cough. "Wake h-him-" Cough. "Up y-y-yet." Yawn. "He pro- pro-pro-" Cough. "I bet he didn't get much-" Very long fit of coughing. "Sleep last night," Peter Pettigrew managed, words muffled by the hand that was covering his mouth during half of his two sentences and snuffled by what sounded like a clogged nose. The mousy haired boy was shaking, a thick, large quilt hanging over his small shoulders. His cheeks were flushed, and his eyes were half closed.
"Morning Wormtail," the youth mused, laughter within his voice, the slightest bit of concern layered beneath his amusement. James was right; his little dare the other night seemed to have done quite the number on his petite friend. "You're looking a little under the weather; shouldn't you be upstairs asleep too?"
"I-I would if I c-c-could, but-" Cough. "I h-have this pounding headache that-" Cough and sneeze at the same time. "W-won't let me s-sleep."
Sirius walked over towards his friend and began to lead him up towards the stairs that led back up to the boy's dorm, smiling reassuringly. "Hey, why don't you wait until James comes back, and then he can take you to the nurse, all right?" he suggested, gently pushing Peter up the stairs. The boy merely nodded, seeming ready to agree with anything at the moment, and finished the way up on his own.
Moving back over to Remus's chair, Sirius pushed his back up against it and slid to the floor, pulling his legs up to his chest and resting his chin on his knees. Peter was right; the werewolf probably got barely any sleep last night, and he should let him rest while he was still capable of it. Even so, it gave the youth that much more time to agonize over his actions from last night.
"What was I doing?" he questioned quietly, shaking his head to and fro, allowing random strands of black to fall before his eyes. It didn't matter; Sirius didn't need to see to know that he had acted stupidly. Sure, he didn't pull away from the kiss, but big whoop! I probably scared him so bad that he couldn't bring himself to do anything, he thought angrily to himself, beginning to gently bang his forehead against his knees. He's gonna hate me for the rest of our lives.
Sirius shook his head in surprise and looked around as he felt his mouth close and his last words echo through the near empty room. I said that. Aloud? Behind him, he heard Remus's body shift slightly, robes brushing against couch, and the youth went stiff. Did he hear me?
The Gryffindor remained silent and still for a moment or two, the slightest twinge of anxious fear resounding within his mind, but Remus made no more movement. "He was just moving in his sleep," Sirius murmured with a sigh of relief. He disliked how jumpy he was being, how nervous and seemingly eager. And it was all his own fault. If he hadn't pulled that stunt last night, he wouldn't be so worried or bothered.
It was only another five minutes or so before James popped up again, the tip of his shoe gently nudging Sirius, who was lost in thought, in the side. "Mate, don't fall asleep. It's morning still," he exclaimed, voice still groggy and slurred. Looking upwards and smiling at his friend, the youth wasn't surprised to see James readjusting his glasses, of which had slipped down the bridge of his nose.
"Peter's upstairs waiting for you. He wants you to take him to the infirmary," Sirius quickly exclaimed, placing on a frown of slight sympathy. "He can't say two or three sentences without bursting up into a fit of coughs that would kill most men."
"Yeah, and it's your fault," James exclaimed, although the comment was made in a teasing tone of voice. Already, he was heading over towards the stairs that led to the boy's dorm. Sirius watched him disappear before pushing his forehead up against his knees again, blocking out the rest of the world. Ignorance truly was a blissful thing.
A few moments later, he heard a couple of pairs of feet walking by, and it was easy enough to identify them as Peter and James. He peeked up for a few seconds to confirm this suspicion before placing his head back into its previous position. It only took several minutes more before the youth fell asleep, exhaustion from the sleepless night claiming him.
"Sirius, what in the world are you doing curled up in a ball right there?" a familiar voice asked from above, jolting the onyx haired youth awake. Blinking rapidly and skittering to push himself up from the floor, his head came in contact with Remus's chin; the werewolf had been leaning over the back of the chair, looking down at Sirius, a most dangerous position. They both let out sharp yelps of pain, the Prefect falling back off the chair and onto the floor, Sirius falling forward and rubbing his head vigorously, as if it itched.
"Good gods, that hurt," Remus moaned from his position upon the floor, stroking his chin and hoping that the contact would not leave an unsightly bruise upon the spot. He began to push himself up, planning on moving to help Sirius up, but his friend moved more quickly than he; the other Gryffindor was already on his feet, moving over to Remus with a hand extended towards him.
Laughing quietly, Remus clasped his hand Sirius and allowed himself to be pulled upwards, any worry of possible markings seeming to have disappeared quite quickly. His head bobbed up and down with silent gratefulness, and as soon as he was steady upon his feet, he released his friend's hand, grinning widely. Out of habit, he began to smooth out the creases of his robes that the fall had caused, although his gaze was locked upon Sirius.
"I'm really sorry about that," the other youth exclaimed hastily, circling once, twice, three times around Remus, as if making sure that his friend was still in one piece. "Are you all right? Did I hurt you? Do you-"
Holding his hands up in the air and laughing aloud, Remus interrupted him, amusement layered within his voice. "I'm fine, Padfoot. It was just a little bump. I do believe I'll live." Even with this reassurance, Sirius couldn't help but fidget, still under the impression that he had dealt his friend some sort of mortal wound.
Shaking his head in a helpless manner, the werewolf patted his friend reassuringly upon the shoulder before turning away and bending down, picking up his book, of which he had dropped when the other had banged into him. Sirius kept his eyes locked upon the Prefect, shifting his weight from foot to foot. Sleep had fought away those anxious, fearful thoughts, but here they were, back to haunt him again.
He doesn't seem that bothered. At least, he isn't avoiding me, he thought in a hopeful manner, placing his hands behind his back and wringing them as Remus moved over to another chair, picking up his bookmark from the previous night. But maybe he's just too nice to mention it. Or too shy. Or something. He's always been really good at hiding his anger; I bet that's what he's doing.
"Listen, Remus, about last night." Sirius began, biting his bottom lip and stopping himself, a slight blush appearing. He hadn't wanted to bring that up! At the very least, Remus was pretending to act normal around him. That comment alone might be enough to ruin it. "Like I said, I'm really sorry-"
"And like I said, don't worry about it," Remus interrupted, back going slightly rigid as he began to slide the items into the large pockets of his robes, still turned away from Sirius. The other Gryffindor couldn't see it, but his lips were pursed tightly, and the faintest tone of pink was beginning to creep into his own cheeks.
"I can't help it; your reaction last night wasn't exactly comforting. I don't know what I'm supposed to think-" Sirius continued on, silently damning himself for persisting upon the subject. In fact, he was tempted to go over to the fireplace and slam his head upon the brick surrounding it. Just like last night, something else, something stupid was acting and speaking for him.
"Then don't think about it, Sirius," the other suggested, his voice faltering as he interrupted once more.
"That's like telling me to stop breathing, to stop thinking completely! It's all I'm thinking about! I'm confused, all right?" he exclaimed viciously, taken aback by the slight violence in his voice.
The werewolf fell silent for a few seconds before heading for the exit to the Common room. "You aren't the only one," he murmured as he brushed past Sirius, looking up for a split second to frown as he walked. "I need a little more time to think about it." He then turned away, speeding up his step slightly before slinking out of the room, leaving Sirius alone to dwell in his miserable, haunting thoughts.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Padfoot, have you seen Moony?"
Sirius glanced up from the quill that he was twirling in his fingers, his eyes little half-slits. Good lord, I'm so tired, he thought, somehow making out the figure of James within his foggy vision. It had been three hours since Remus had taken off, and the youth had been sitting in his chair ever since. Thus far, the werewolf had not returned.
"Nope, not since this morning," he mumbled, shaking his head and returning his gaze to the quill. It reminded him of Remus. Remus always had a quill with him, whether it was so that he could jot things down when he felt compelled to do so, or for the convenience of others. Unable to bare the site of it, he tossed the item aside and turned to the fire.
It reminded him of Remus. Remus loved sitting there and watching the flames dance for him; sometimes he even said that it was a show, just for him. Unable to look at that for too long, he once again diverted his gaze.
This time, his attention rested upon James. James reminded him of James, right? Nope. He reminded him of Remus. They were a quartet, they were all linked together. The four of them were always supposed to be together, right? The site of his messy, glasses-wearing friend merely caused him to feel alone and lacking of a friend.
Sirius let out a low, pitiful moan. Why did all his thoughts have to be about Remus?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Sirius, mate, I think it's time for you to go to bed."
The youth blinked in surprise, jumping slightly at the sound of James's voice once again, it having awakened him from a nap. Glancing upwards, he saw both Potter and Pettigrew looking down at him, both wearing slightly concerned expressions.
But Remus wasn't with them.
"What time is it?" he managed to murmur, pushing himself up within the plush chair a little. James merely raised a skeptic eyebrow, Peter shaking his head in what seemed to be bemused pity. Each of them grabbed one of his arms, beginning to drag his almost limp form towards the stairs to the boy's dorm.
"What time is it?" he repeated groggily, attempting to shrug the two of them off.
"A little bit after supper time. You've been asleep for almost six hours," James claimed as they walked, releasing Sirius's arm only so that he could move behind him and push him forward. Sirius couldn't help but laugh lightly; the touch upon his back tickled slightly.
"Wow. And what about Moony?" he questioned further, words slurred and mumbled.
"He popped up for dinner, but I haven't seen him since," Peter offered, stopping at the stairs and releasing his friend's arm. James nudged him forward, and Sirius bobbed his head up and down, doing the rest on his own. At least Remus was back. That was good. He hadn't run away from Hogwarts because of him.
Since when had that been a suspicion? Sirius pondered in sleepy amusement, grabbing ahold of the rail tightly and forcing himself to inch his way up the stairs. He grappled for the door leading to the dorm, opened it, stumbled through, and somehow managed to tightly close it behind him. Blinking, he paused for a few seconds, allowing his eyes to get used to the slightly more dimmed area.
Moving towards his bed, the first thing he noticed was the small white envelope that lay near the foot of the piece of furniture. Nearing it, he gingerly picked it up, twirling it in his fingers. It had no name as to who it was from, nor who it was to, but the youth couldn't help but think that the latter was rather obvious. Glancing around the room to make sure no one else was there, he opened the envelope and pulled out a small letter. He immediately recognized the handwriting; it was Remus's.
Dear Sirius,
I'm sorry that it's taken me so long to get this to you. Like I said earlier, I just needed a little more time to think about it. I apologize if I seemed to leave you hanging; it wasn't my intention. I've just found it a little hard to sort out my feelings. Guess you don't need to worry about that, though, now do you? Seems to me like you've already gotten them sorted out.
When I disappeared for the whole day, I made a solo trip to Hogsmeade and picked up a little something for you. I figured that it summed up my thoughts about this whole (slightly awkward) situation. To activate the gift, all you have to do is put this letter back in its envelope. Hope you enjoy.
Forever yours, Remus Lupin
"Forever yours, Remus Lupin," Sirius murmured softly, tracing a finger over the closing of the letter. The mere words sent a tingle down his spine, albeit a pleasant one. Remus was his, and forever his. The werewolf's letter had left him eager and even excited to see what this gift to him was, though. Hastily, he read the letter once more, engraving its words upon his mind before tenderly folding it back up and placing it into the envelope.
The moment he did so, the item jumped from his hands, hovering in the air a foot in front of him. The paper quickly began to fold itself into a complex little shape, the speedy, swift little movements confusing and baffling Sirius. It came to a stop, though, and the youth could tell what it had formed. The envelope had turned itself into a small origami wolf, of which turned to Sirius and let out a silent howl before beginning to run around in the air. It left small, golden footsteps in its trail, and upon close inspection, the youth could see that it was forming a message for him.
I love you too, Sirius Black,
and as more than just friends.
Sirius smiled softly, managing to read the words six or seven times before they began to fade away. Even so, the origami wolf floated down towards his hand, nuzzling it gently before hovering downwards and resting atop his bed. Its snout opened to form another one of its silent howls before it began to move in circles. After a few seconds, it lied down, placing its head atop its two fore paws and seeming to fall asleep.
"That Moony. He's something else," the youth breathed softly, rubbing an eye with a fist and staring at the air where the cherished message had faded away. Even so, he could have sworn that the faintest tone of gold was still there, and as long as that remark remained true, he was sure it would stay.
His werewolf friend was in the same chair as earlier that night, or morning, to be exact, curled up into a small, tight fitting ball, one hand hanging over the side of the piece of furniture, a book dangling unsteadily from his fingers. Light brown hair fell mussed and tangled before his eyes, lips opened partially as to take in the deep, steady breathes of sleep. The rhythmic movement of his chest rising and falling entranced and enticed Sirius, but he wasn't able to bask in the site of sleeping Remus for long.
"Padfoot, get a move on, why don't you?" James's familiar voice complained groggily from behind, prodding Sirius in the back with his finger. "You're blocking the way, and I need to make a visit to the loo." Glancing over his shoulder and sighing in exaggerated frustration, he flashed his friend a grin before leaping away from the bottom of the staircase. He continued to smooth out his hair, and he couldn't help but laugh as James reached up and mussed his own locks, purposely making his hair messier than necessary.
"In a good mood this morning, eh? You're probably the only one," he continued, words slurred with sleepiness. "Peter appears to be sick and the full moon is almost here. I told Pettigrew not to take your dare. Honestly, telling him to go out into the snow stark naked! He'll sneeze the few brains he has left out his brain before Christmas, I'm telling you." Shaking his head in a helpless, pitying manner, James gave a soft grunt and walked past Sirius, heading off to go to the bathroom and leaving the other in a fit of laughter.
After James had left and Sirius had recovered from his amusement, the onyx haired youth moved over to Remus's chair, peering over the edge and smiling softly at the sleeping form. Unlike many, the werewolf's sleeping form was just like his awakened one; always calm, seemingly gentle, and holding an air of innocence, the Prefect never seemed to change. Who knew what went on within the mind of such a youth? Sirius surely did not, and it had bothered him to no end last night. He had gotten little to no sleep, worrying over what Remus's initial reaction would be when they met in the morning. Well lookie there. The kid's damn reaction was to snore and dream away.
"Should I wake him up?" Sirius thought aloud, stroking his chin in a pondering manner, as if he was deciding his friend's fate. Coughing from behind him broke his train of thought, though, and he once again looked over his shoulder, a bemused eyebrow already quirked.
"You shouldn't-" Cough. "Wake h-him-" Cough. "Up y-y-yet." Yawn. "He pro- pro-pro-" Cough. "I bet he didn't get much-" Very long fit of coughing. "Sleep last night," Peter Pettigrew managed, words muffled by the hand that was covering his mouth during half of his two sentences and snuffled by what sounded like a clogged nose. The mousy haired boy was shaking, a thick, large quilt hanging over his small shoulders. His cheeks were flushed, and his eyes were half closed.
"Morning Wormtail," the youth mused, laughter within his voice, the slightest bit of concern layered beneath his amusement. James was right; his little dare the other night seemed to have done quite the number on his petite friend. "You're looking a little under the weather; shouldn't you be upstairs asleep too?"
"I-I would if I c-c-could, but-" Cough. "I h-have this pounding headache that-" Cough and sneeze at the same time. "W-won't let me s-sleep."
Sirius walked over towards his friend and began to lead him up towards the stairs that led back up to the boy's dorm, smiling reassuringly. "Hey, why don't you wait until James comes back, and then he can take you to the nurse, all right?" he suggested, gently pushing Peter up the stairs. The boy merely nodded, seeming ready to agree with anything at the moment, and finished the way up on his own.
Moving back over to Remus's chair, Sirius pushed his back up against it and slid to the floor, pulling his legs up to his chest and resting his chin on his knees. Peter was right; the werewolf probably got barely any sleep last night, and he should let him rest while he was still capable of it. Even so, it gave the youth that much more time to agonize over his actions from last night.
"What was I doing?" he questioned quietly, shaking his head to and fro, allowing random strands of black to fall before his eyes. It didn't matter; Sirius didn't need to see to know that he had acted stupidly. Sure, he didn't pull away from the kiss, but big whoop! I probably scared him so bad that he couldn't bring himself to do anything, he thought angrily to himself, beginning to gently bang his forehead against his knees. He's gonna hate me for the rest of our lives.
Sirius shook his head in surprise and looked around as he felt his mouth close and his last words echo through the near empty room. I said that. Aloud? Behind him, he heard Remus's body shift slightly, robes brushing against couch, and the youth went stiff. Did he hear me?
The Gryffindor remained silent and still for a moment or two, the slightest twinge of anxious fear resounding within his mind, but Remus made no more movement. "He was just moving in his sleep," Sirius murmured with a sigh of relief. He disliked how jumpy he was being, how nervous and seemingly eager. And it was all his own fault. If he hadn't pulled that stunt last night, he wouldn't be so worried or bothered.
It was only another five minutes or so before James popped up again, the tip of his shoe gently nudging Sirius, who was lost in thought, in the side. "Mate, don't fall asleep. It's morning still," he exclaimed, voice still groggy and slurred. Looking upwards and smiling at his friend, the youth wasn't surprised to see James readjusting his glasses, of which had slipped down the bridge of his nose.
"Peter's upstairs waiting for you. He wants you to take him to the infirmary," Sirius quickly exclaimed, placing on a frown of slight sympathy. "He can't say two or three sentences without bursting up into a fit of coughs that would kill most men."
"Yeah, and it's your fault," James exclaimed, although the comment was made in a teasing tone of voice. Already, he was heading over towards the stairs that led to the boy's dorm. Sirius watched him disappear before pushing his forehead up against his knees again, blocking out the rest of the world. Ignorance truly was a blissful thing.
A few moments later, he heard a couple of pairs of feet walking by, and it was easy enough to identify them as Peter and James. He peeked up for a few seconds to confirm this suspicion before placing his head back into its previous position. It only took several minutes more before the youth fell asleep, exhaustion from the sleepless night claiming him.
"Sirius, what in the world are you doing curled up in a ball right there?" a familiar voice asked from above, jolting the onyx haired youth awake. Blinking rapidly and skittering to push himself up from the floor, his head came in contact with Remus's chin; the werewolf had been leaning over the back of the chair, looking down at Sirius, a most dangerous position. They both let out sharp yelps of pain, the Prefect falling back off the chair and onto the floor, Sirius falling forward and rubbing his head vigorously, as if it itched.
"Good gods, that hurt," Remus moaned from his position upon the floor, stroking his chin and hoping that the contact would not leave an unsightly bruise upon the spot. He began to push himself up, planning on moving to help Sirius up, but his friend moved more quickly than he; the other Gryffindor was already on his feet, moving over to Remus with a hand extended towards him.
Laughing quietly, Remus clasped his hand Sirius and allowed himself to be pulled upwards, any worry of possible markings seeming to have disappeared quite quickly. His head bobbed up and down with silent gratefulness, and as soon as he was steady upon his feet, he released his friend's hand, grinning widely. Out of habit, he began to smooth out the creases of his robes that the fall had caused, although his gaze was locked upon Sirius.
"I'm really sorry about that," the other youth exclaimed hastily, circling once, twice, three times around Remus, as if making sure that his friend was still in one piece. "Are you all right? Did I hurt you? Do you-"
Holding his hands up in the air and laughing aloud, Remus interrupted him, amusement layered within his voice. "I'm fine, Padfoot. It was just a little bump. I do believe I'll live." Even with this reassurance, Sirius couldn't help but fidget, still under the impression that he had dealt his friend some sort of mortal wound.
Shaking his head in a helpless manner, the werewolf patted his friend reassuringly upon the shoulder before turning away and bending down, picking up his book, of which he had dropped when the other had banged into him. Sirius kept his eyes locked upon the Prefect, shifting his weight from foot to foot. Sleep had fought away those anxious, fearful thoughts, but here they were, back to haunt him again.
He doesn't seem that bothered. At least, he isn't avoiding me, he thought in a hopeful manner, placing his hands behind his back and wringing them as Remus moved over to another chair, picking up his bookmark from the previous night. But maybe he's just too nice to mention it. Or too shy. Or something. He's always been really good at hiding his anger; I bet that's what he's doing.
"Listen, Remus, about last night." Sirius began, biting his bottom lip and stopping himself, a slight blush appearing. He hadn't wanted to bring that up! At the very least, Remus was pretending to act normal around him. That comment alone might be enough to ruin it. "Like I said, I'm really sorry-"
"And like I said, don't worry about it," Remus interrupted, back going slightly rigid as he began to slide the items into the large pockets of his robes, still turned away from Sirius. The other Gryffindor couldn't see it, but his lips were pursed tightly, and the faintest tone of pink was beginning to creep into his own cheeks.
"I can't help it; your reaction last night wasn't exactly comforting. I don't know what I'm supposed to think-" Sirius continued on, silently damning himself for persisting upon the subject. In fact, he was tempted to go over to the fireplace and slam his head upon the brick surrounding it. Just like last night, something else, something stupid was acting and speaking for him.
"Then don't think about it, Sirius," the other suggested, his voice faltering as he interrupted once more.
"That's like telling me to stop breathing, to stop thinking completely! It's all I'm thinking about! I'm confused, all right?" he exclaimed viciously, taken aback by the slight violence in his voice.
The werewolf fell silent for a few seconds before heading for the exit to the Common room. "You aren't the only one," he murmured as he brushed past Sirius, looking up for a split second to frown as he walked. "I need a little more time to think about it." He then turned away, speeding up his step slightly before slinking out of the room, leaving Sirius alone to dwell in his miserable, haunting thoughts.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Padfoot, have you seen Moony?"
Sirius glanced up from the quill that he was twirling in his fingers, his eyes little half-slits. Good lord, I'm so tired, he thought, somehow making out the figure of James within his foggy vision. It had been three hours since Remus had taken off, and the youth had been sitting in his chair ever since. Thus far, the werewolf had not returned.
"Nope, not since this morning," he mumbled, shaking his head and returning his gaze to the quill. It reminded him of Remus. Remus always had a quill with him, whether it was so that he could jot things down when he felt compelled to do so, or for the convenience of others. Unable to bare the site of it, he tossed the item aside and turned to the fire.
It reminded him of Remus. Remus loved sitting there and watching the flames dance for him; sometimes he even said that it was a show, just for him. Unable to look at that for too long, he once again diverted his gaze.
This time, his attention rested upon James. James reminded him of James, right? Nope. He reminded him of Remus. They were a quartet, they were all linked together. The four of them were always supposed to be together, right? The site of his messy, glasses-wearing friend merely caused him to feel alone and lacking of a friend.
Sirius let out a low, pitiful moan. Why did all his thoughts have to be about Remus?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Sirius, mate, I think it's time for you to go to bed."
The youth blinked in surprise, jumping slightly at the sound of James's voice once again, it having awakened him from a nap. Glancing upwards, he saw both Potter and Pettigrew looking down at him, both wearing slightly concerned expressions.
But Remus wasn't with them.
"What time is it?" he managed to murmur, pushing himself up within the plush chair a little. James merely raised a skeptic eyebrow, Peter shaking his head in what seemed to be bemused pity. Each of them grabbed one of his arms, beginning to drag his almost limp form towards the stairs to the boy's dorm.
"What time is it?" he repeated groggily, attempting to shrug the two of them off.
"A little bit after supper time. You've been asleep for almost six hours," James claimed as they walked, releasing Sirius's arm only so that he could move behind him and push him forward. Sirius couldn't help but laugh lightly; the touch upon his back tickled slightly.
"Wow. And what about Moony?" he questioned further, words slurred and mumbled.
"He popped up for dinner, but I haven't seen him since," Peter offered, stopping at the stairs and releasing his friend's arm. James nudged him forward, and Sirius bobbed his head up and down, doing the rest on his own. At least Remus was back. That was good. He hadn't run away from Hogwarts because of him.
Since when had that been a suspicion? Sirius pondered in sleepy amusement, grabbing ahold of the rail tightly and forcing himself to inch his way up the stairs. He grappled for the door leading to the dorm, opened it, stumbled through, and somehow managed to tightly close it behind him. Blinking, he paused for a few seconds, allowing his eyes to get used to the slightly more dimmed area.
Moving towards his bed, the first thing he noticed was the small white envelope that lay near the foot of the piece of furniture. Nearing it, he gingerly picked it up, twirling it in his fingers. It had no name as to who it was from, nor who it was to, but the youth couldn't help but think that the latter was rather obvious. Glancing around the room to make sure no one else was there, he opened the envelope and pulled out a small letter. He immediately recognized the handwriting; it was Remus's.
Dear Sirius,
I'm sorry that it's taken me so long to get this to you. Like I said earlier, I just needed a little more time to think about it. I apologize if I seemed to leave you hanging; it wasn't my intention. I've just found it a little hard to sort out my feelings. Guess you don't need to worry about that, though, now do you? Seems to me like you've already gotten them sorted out.
When I disappeared for the whole day, I made a solo trip to Hogsmeade and picked up a little something for you. I figured that it summed up my thoughts about this whole (slightly awkward) situation. To activate the gift, all you have to do is put this letter back in its envelope. Hope you enjoy.
Forever yours, Remus Lupin
"Forever yours, Remus Lupin," Sirius murmured softly, tracing a finger over the closing of the letter. The mere words sent a tingle down his spine, albeit a pleasant one. Remus was his, and forever his. The werewolf's letter had left him eager and even excited to see what this gift to him was, though. Hastily, he read the letter once more, engraving its words upon his mind before tenderly folding it back up and placing it into the envelope.
The moment he did so, the item jumped from his hands, hovering in the air a foot in front of him. The paper quickly began to fold itself into a complex little shape, the speedy, swift little movements confusing and baffling Sirius. It came to a stop, though, and the youth could tell what it had formed. The envelope had turned itself into a small origami wolf, of which turned to Sirius and let out a silent howl before beginning to run around in the air. It left small, golden footsteps in its trail, and upon close inspection, the youth could see that it was forming a message for him.
I love you too, Sirius Black,
and as more than just friends.
Sirius smiled softly, managing to read the words six or seven times before they began to fade away. Even so, the origami wolf floated down towards his hand, nuzzling it gently before hovering downwards and resting atop his bed. Its snout opened to form another one of its silent howls before it began to move in circles. After a few seconds, it lied down, placing its head atop its two fore paws and seeming to fall asleep.
"That Moony. He's something else," the youth breathed softly, rubbing an eye with a fist and staring at the air where the cherished message had faded away. Even so, he could have sworn that the faintest tone of gold was still there, and as long as that remark remained true, he was sure it would stay.