Never Lose Me
Chapter Thirteen: Falling
A/N: Yet again,I do not own J.K. Rowling's marvelous story and characters. The only character I own is Rhane (pronounced 'Rain'). BTW, this story opens as a student with a crush that is more than it seems, and the chapters will eventually lead to a 20-something woman with one.^___^ This song is also my own, as are the others. I wrote it. ^_^ It's a slow song, as all the ones for this story are, and pauses a lot.very melodramatic and moody and possibly sad,even. A bit twisted,too-and kinda long.lol^_^ Please review, and if you must criticize, do it CONSTRUCTIVELY,k? Nothing like, 'oh, Snape's ICKY, no girl would ever go after him.' Or anything like that,k? K.^_^ Yay for the White Stripes!!Bought 'White Blood Cells' the other day, it's inspiring me to write.^_^_^Happiness o'doooooom!^_____^Oh,yes,and in this fic, Draco isn't exactly EVIL, per say.just very, very disturbed, twisted, obsessed and sadistic.^_^.^_^'^_^YES it's disturbing, and YES it'll probably get worse.^_^' Please don't review and tell me I'm sick or anything for any of these chapters-after all, it would seem quite silly to have Draco be sadistic and all and not try anything like that on Rhane, you know. Besides, if you've gotten this far, you must not really mind disturbingness. ^_^ Oh, and all poems in these stories,I wrote.^_^ALSO---- IT IS ACTUALLY DECEMBER IN THESE LAST FEW CHAPTERS. In a twisted and strange way, this chapter is almost-------sweet. Weirdly so. O_o Whee, I love writing about characters with MPD!!((Multiple Personality Disorder))^__________^'
'Missing the sun, missing the darkness as well Wonder if they blended into grays if anyone could really tell? Life is never black and white, nothing's ever that easy, The most intelligent, brilliant person you've ever heard of may in truth be really sleazy. Never judge things by their covers Never completely believe you know someone, not enemies, not lovers. Because truth is something often left along the wayside, lost in the lies And sometimes it feels like no one really tries.
I wonder if it's me, or is it you? And no, I can't say I know what you're going through. It wouldn't be honest to say that I completely comprehend Just know that there'll always be someone there from whom you can borrow or lend. I hope this all makes sense, Sometimes I wonder and, feeling pain, wince. But I know we can all make it through As long as we don't depend too heavily on what we gullibly think is 'true.''
Rhane stared at the empty seat when she entered her Advanced Double Potions classroom. Where was Draco? 'You're actually WORRIED?! Have you completely flipped your lid?' 'No! I mean, Yes! I mean---I don't know.' '------.' As she listened through that class and the next few classes, Rhane picked up the rumor that, basically, Draco had passed out again in the middle of the Slytherin Common Room and had been taken, with a high fever, to Madame Pomfrey. For some reason, the brunette Gryffindor felt her heart rise to her throat. Why had Draco passed out again? His father had not been there, that much she knew for certain. The moment noon came, she felt her feet unwillingly carrying her to the Hospital Wing, as swiftly as they could take her. Though Rhane tried to stop herself, she felt drawn there, drawn to see if it was true.
"Yes, dear?" Madame Pomfrey, bustling about, asked the anxious Rhane.
"Draco---is he here?" Rhane wondered at the anxiety, the worry, in her voice. Concerned---over DRACO MALFOY???! It was unthinkable! He wouldn't want it, anyway.
"He's over there, but---." She sighed. The girl had already ran off in the direction she'd pointed. Madame Pomfrey was too busy to worry about it right that moment, besides, she knew the girl meant no harm---not running in here like that! Odd, that a Gryffindor should come looking for Draco, she thought as she began working again.
Rhane walked softly, silently, through the curtain separating the main room from Draco Malfoy. Unable to stop herself, she found herself sitting on the edge of his bed, near his arm, staring down at his unconscious face. 'He's so pale---.' She reached out and brushed a finger down one smooth, silken cheek. "You look like an innocent angel when you're asleep, Draco. As if---as if you could never hurt anyone. As if you're incapable of having done to me the things you have, incapable of inflicting such pain." Rhane murmered softly, then drew her hand back sharply in shock, realizing what she was doing. She stood and turned to leave, a Gryffindor---especially a Gryffindor GIRL----had no right sitting in the hospital wing with a Slytherin, particularly not one such as Draco Malfoy, the bane of the Gryffindors.
However, she had not moved two steps when a soft grip weakly enclosed her wrist and a trembling voice haltingly reached her ears.
"S-sorry I c-can't----can't hold your wrist tighter and pull you back here. If you re-really wanted----you could leave now---I-I can't r-really stop you, not in this state." His voice was ever-so-quiet, broken with small coughs. "Ma-madam Pomfrey says I should be better by tomorrow, if I stay put and t-----take my medicine properly. I int-intend to, but---only because I must----be there, rested and w-well, to t-take you to----take you to---." He was interrupted by a spasm of coughing, and reached for a bottle of medicine, which he gulped a dose of. "I should be a little better even now." Yes, his voice DID sound better, and his grip was slightly more constrictive now. She stared straight into his silvery eyes---what a mistake!---and felt a chill, born of fear, confusion, and---something else, something she didn't quite understand---run through her.
"I really should be going. I have to attend the rest of today's classes, you know, Draco." Rhane pulled slightly, as if to signify that she was ready to leave. "No! Wait, I---I have to read you something." Draco thanked whatever was watching over him that the medicine and state of groggy, weak illness was keeping down the part of him that normally pervaded his being and cursed every action he made with a sadistic twist. He knew he was a sadist, and that could never change---but at least this little part of him could try and make up for it. Well, nothing could really make up for all the leatherings, all the violent acts he had committed and most likely would commit, but this would at least make some things better. At least he loved her---his father never loved him.
'I want you to understand this clearly, I'm not saying I will ever change, But know no matter what, I love you dearly, And if it made you happy, the stars I'd rearrange. I'm sorry I must hurt you so, I'm sorry I enjoy it, too. I wish I had been someone else's child, Then maybe I'd be someone new, And not behave in ways so wild. I wish I could stop the pain, But things will always be this way. Even on the day when it rains red rain, The hurting will, unfortunately stay. I love you and no one else can ever steal me from this despair I know you do not feel the same, But you have no choice, by birth you were destined to live with me in my lair. I know this all sounds rather lame, I'm sorry my poem's no better. I'm sorry if this brings you shame, Had you not turned up, this probably would be in a letter.'
Rhane stared. Draco's eyelids were drooping, the medicine had a side-effect of sending the taker into a deep sleep shortly afterwards, and Draco had fought it just long enough to say what he'd meant to. The brunette girl removed his fingers carefully from her wrist, turned and left the Hospital Wing, mind still racing and drowning in utter and complete confusion. When she returned to her Common Room that night, she still felt completely unsure of herself or of whatever had drawn her to the Hospital Wing in the first place. Upon entering, she found that she'd received a letter-a response from Snape. Tearing it open, Rhane read it with as much speed as possible, attempting to take her mind from its complex little struggles.
*** Rhane *** I'm sorry to say that it would be MOST improper to attend the Yule Ball together, even if you HAVE almost graduated Hogwarts. I shall try my best, however, to give you your simpler request---one dance is innocent enough. Have a pleasant evening.
*** Professor Severus Snape ***
Rhane sighed. She'd expected as much, really. Tears began to form in her eyes as she showered, then threw on her nightgown and buried herself in bed. Silently, she let them fall, knowing to hold back would only be worse. 'You know you expected that. Why the tears? There's always Draco.' 'I---I don't WANT to go with him----I don't.' 'Don't be childish.' '-----.' 'You know you do.' 'Alright,alright. Maybe a little. But I don't LOVE him! I LOVE SNAPE! I only---only PITY Draco.' 'Just keep telling yourself that, dear.'
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The next day, she awoke to an owl and a package sitting on her bed. Getting up, Rhane opened the window, shivering in the cold December air. The owl flew away immediately, and she closed the window, returning to her bed to open the package.
It was the most beautiful necklace she had ever seen! Medium-length, silver in color, with tiny little thorns and a large, intricately detailed rose in the center. "Whomever could it be FROM?" She whispered. Then Rhane noticed the card. Without even opening it, she knew whom the present was from. The envelope was green, in Draco's writing. She opened the letter slowly, and began to read it.
*** Rhane *** I hope this matches whatever it is you will be wearing, at least in color, if not in design. Please wear it, I expect it to be around your neck when I pick you up for the ball. Remember that I AM taking you, regardless of what you wish, and do understand that, if necessary, I shall FIND a way in and dress you myself. It wouldn't bother me, that's for certain---. But I'm sure you wouldn't dream of trying to hide from the Yule Ball---after all, you know there would be INCREDIBLE punishment for such a thing! Until later,then.
*** Love, Draco M. (the bloody sod again.) ***
Author's Note: Back to the average-length chapters.^______^Enjoyable? I've been really inspired this weekend.^______^LALA!^___^
Chapter Thirteen: Falling
A/N: Yet again,I do not own J.K. Rowling's marvelous story and characters. The only character I own is Rhane (pronounced 'Rain'). BTW, this story opens as a student with a crush that is more than it seems, and the chapters will eventually lead to a 20-something woman with one.^___^ This song is also my own, as are the others. I wrote it. ^_^ It's a slow song, as all the ones for this story are, and pauses a lot.very melodramatic and moody and possibly sad,even. A bit twisted,too-and kinda long.lol^_^ Please review, and if you must criticize, do it CONSTRUCTIVELY,k? Nothing like, 'oh, Snape's ICKY, no girl would ever go after him.' Or anything like that,k? K.^_^ Yay for the White Stripes!!Bought 'White Blood Cells' the other day, it's inspiring me to write.^_^_^Happiness o'doooooom!^_____^Oh,yes,and in this fic, Draco isn't exactly EVIL, per say.just very, very disturbed, twisted, obsessed and sadistic.^_^.^_^'^_^YES it's disturbing, and YES it'll probably get worse.^_^' Please don't review and tell me I'm sick or anything for any of these chapters-after all, it would seem quite silly to have Draco be sadistic and all and not try anything like that on Rhane, you know. Besides, if you've gotten this far, you must not really mind disturbingness. ^_^ Oh, and all poems in these stories,I wrote.^_^ALSO---- IT IS ACTUALLY DECEMBER IN THESE LAST FEW CHAPTERS. In a twisted and strange way, this chapter is almost-------sweet. Weirdly so. O_o Whee, I love writing about characters with MPD!!((Multiple Personality Disorder))^__________^'
'Missing the sun, missing the darkness as well Wonder if they blended into grays if anyone could really tell? Life is never black and white, nothing's ever that easy, The most intelligent, brilliant person you've ever heard of may in truth be really sleazy. Never judge things by their covers Never completely believe you know someone, not enemies, not lovers. Because truth is something often left along the wayside, lost in the lies And sometimes it feels like no one really tries.
I wonder if it's me, or is it you? And no, I can't say I know what you're going through. It wouldn't be honest to say that I completely comprehend Just know that there'll always be someone there from whom you can borrow or lend. I hope this all makes sense, Sometimes I wonder and, feeling pain, wince. But I know we can all make it through As long as we don't depend too heavily on what we gullibly think is 'true.''
Rhane stared at the empty seat when she entered her Advanced Double Potions classroom. Where was Draco? 'You're actually WORRIED?! Have you completely flipped your lid?' 'No! I mean, Yes! I mean---I don't know.' '------.' As she listened through that class and the next few classes, Rhane picked up the rumor that, basically, Draco had passed out again in the middle of the Slytherin Common Room and had been taken, with a high fever, to Madame Pomfrey. For some reason, the brunette Gryffindor felt her heart rise to her throat. Why had Draco passed out again? His father had not been there, that much she knew for certain. The moment noon came, she felt her feet unwillingly carrying her to the Hospital Wing, as swiftly as they could take her. Though Rhane tried to stop herself, she felt drawn there, drawn to see if it was true.
"Yes, dear?" Madame Pomfrey, bustling about, asked the anxious Rhane.
"Draco---is he here?" Rhane wondered at the anxiety, the worry, in her voice. Concerned---over DRACO MALFOY???! It was unthinkable! He wouldn't want it, anyway.
"He's over there, but---." She sighed. The girl had already ran off in the direction she'd pointed. Madame Pomfrey was too busy to worry about it right that moment, besides, she knew the girl meant no harm---not running in here like that! Odd, that a Gryffindor should come looking for Draco, she thought as she began working again.
Rhane walked softly, silently, through the curtain separating the main room from Draco Malfoy. Unable to stop herself, she found herself sitting on the edge of his bed, near his arm, staring down at his unconscious face. 'He's so pale---.' She reached out and brushed a finger down one smooth, silken cheek. "You look like an innocent angel when you're asleep, Draco. As if---as if you could never hurt anyone. As if you're incapable of having done to me the things you have, incapable of inflicting such pain." Rhane murmered softly, then drew her hand back sharply in shock, realizing what she was doing. She stood and turned to leave, a Gryffindor---especially a Gryffindor GIRL----had no right sitting in the hospital wing with a Slytherin, particularly not one such as Draco Malfoy, the bane of the Gryffindors.
However, she had not moved two steps when a soft grip weakly enclosed her wrist and a trembling voice haltingly reached her ears.
"S-sorry I c-can't----can't hold your wrist tighter and pull you back here. If you re-really wanted----you could leave now---I-I can't r-really stop you, not in this state." His voice was ever-so-quiet, broken with small coughs. "Ma-madam Pomfrey says I should be better by tomorrow, if I stay put and t-----take my medicine properly. I int-intend to, but---only because I must----be there, rested and w-well, to t-take you to----take you to---." He was interrupted by a spasm of coughing, and reached for a bottle of medicine, which he gulped a dose of. "I should be a little better even now." Yes, his voice DID sound better, and his grip was slightly more constrictive now. She stared straight into his silvery eyes---what a mistake!---and felt a chill, born of fear, confusion, and---something else, something she didn't quite understand---run through her.
"I really should be going. I have to attend the rest of today's classes, you know, Draco." Rhane pulled slightly, as if to signify that she was ready to leave. "No! Wait, I---I have to read you something." Draco thanked whatever was watching over him that the medicine and state of groggy, weak illness was keeping down the part of him that normally pervaded his being and cursed every action he made with a sadistic twist. He knew he was a sadist, and that could never change---but at least this little part of him could try and make up for it. Well, nothing could really make up for all the leatherings, all the violent acts he had committed and most likely would commit, but this would at least make some things better. At least he loved her---his father never loved him.
'I want you to understand this clearly, I'm not saying I will ever change, But know no matter what, I love you dearly, And if it made you happy, the stars I'd rearrange. I'm sorry I must hurt you so, I'm sorry I enjoy it, too. I wish I had been someone else's child, Then maybe I'd be someone new, And not behave in ways so wild. I wish I could stop the pain, But things will always be this way. Even on the day when it rains red rain, The hurting will, unfortunately stay. I love you and no one else can ever steal me from this despair I know you do not feel the same, But you have no choice, by birth you were destined to live with me in my lair. I know this all sounds rather lame, I'm sorry my poem's no better. I'm sorry if this brings you shame, Had you not turned up, this probably would be in a letter.'
Rhane stared. Draco's eyelids were drooping, the medicine had a side-effect of sending the taker into a deep sleep shortly afterwards, and Draco had fought it just long enough to say what he'd meant to. The brunette girl removed his fingers carefully from her wrist, turned and left the Hospital Wing, mind still racing and drowning in utter and complete confusion. When she returned to her Common Room that night, she still felt completely unsure of herself or of whatever had drawn her to the Hospital Wing in the first place. Upon entering, she found that she'd received a letter-a response from Snape. Tearing it open, Rhane read it with as much speed as possible, attempting to take her mind from its complex little struggles.
*** Rhane *** I'm sorry to say that it would be MOST improper to attend the Yule Ball together, even if you HAVE almost graduated Hogwarts. I shall try my best, however, to give you your simpler request---one dance is innocent enough. Have a pleasant evening.
*** Professor Severus Snape ***
Rhane sighed. She'd expected as much, really. Tears began to form in her eyes as she showered, then threw on her nightgown and buried herself in bed. Silently, she let them fall, knowing to hold back would only be worse. 'You know you expected that. Why the tears? There's always Draco.' 'I---I don't WANT to go with him----I don't.' 'Don't be childish.' '-----.' 'You know you do.' 'Alright,alright. Maybe a little. But I don't LOVE him! I LOVE SNAPE! I only---only PITY Draco.' 'Just keep telling yourself that, dear.'
************************************************************************
The next day, she awoke to an owl and a package sitting on her bed. Getting up, Rhane opened the window, shivering in the cold December air. The owl flew away immediately, and she closed the window, returning to her bed to open the package.
It was the most beautiful necklace she had ever seen! Medium-length, silver in color, with tiny little thorns and a large, intricately detailed rose in the center. "Whomever could it be FROM?" She whispered. Then Rhane noticed the card. Without even opening it, she knew whom the present was from. The envelope was green, in Draco's writing. She opened the letter slowly, and began to read it.
*** Rhane *** I hope this matches whatever it is you will be wearing, at least in color, if not in design. Please wear it, I expect it to be around your neck when I pick you up for the ball. Remember that I AM taking you, regardless of what you wish, and do understand that, if necessary, I shall FIND a way in and dress you myself. It wouldn't bother me, that's for certain---. But I'm sure you wouldn't dream of trying to hide from the Yule Ball---after all, you know there would be INCREDIBLE punishment for such a thing! Until later,then.
*** Love, Draco M. (the bloody sod again.) ***
Author's Note: Back to the average-length chapters.^______^Enjoyable? I've been really inspired this weekend.^______^LALA!^___^