Disclaimer: I don't own any of Tamora Pierce's characters, but I wouldn't mind owning Joren…;)

Kel and Neal!  Who Cares About Yuki?

Kel: Wow, Neal is so hot. But he is Yuki's now.

Neal: I'm developing major feelings for Kel, but I'm going to keep them to myself, because how can she possibly fall for me?

Dom:  Hey Kel! Hey Meathead! I might be in the story every once in a while.  My sole purpose in this plot is to make Neal jealous and to make Kel choose between me and him.

Kel:  Wow, Dom is so hot.  But he is in the Knight's Own, and they can't marry.  Too bad.

 Neal: I'm harboring jealous feelings towards my cousin because he's trying to seduce my best friend whom I secretly love.

Sometime later, be it days, weeks or months

Neal:  Hey Kel.  Looking good. 

Kel:  Hey Neal.  Right back at ya.

At this point the author makes them trip over some object, or slip in a puddle or and makes them go sprawling on top of each other. (A/N:  Has anyone else noticed that Neal and Kel always fall on top of each other?  Maybe it's just me.)

They look at each other and begin to passionately make out.  The author may or may not spare the steamy details.  The two lovers don't bother to think about the consequences such as who they are cheating on, or the rumors that will befall them, even protecting themselves.  But of course Kel never gets pregnant, that would ruin the plot. Then the morning after…….

Kel:  Wait, Neal, what about Yuki?

Neal:  Oh yeah.  See, it's implied at the beginning of the story that Yuki and I are engaged, which introduces a problem that the characters need to overcome. This makes the plot appear to have depth.  Then the author conveniently forgets to tell the reader that we're not together anymore.  That way you and I can get together because everyone forgets about Yuki.

Kel:  How clever! So, what happened to Yuki?

Neal:  It's hard to say.  Either she died, she left me for someone else, or she will find out very soon and will hate both of us for the rest of our lives.  I can never remember.

Kel:  Oh, well, screw Yuki, we can live happily ever after.

Neal:  'Kay.  I love you, Kel.

Kel:  Love you too.  *big schmoochie kisses all around*

They live happily ever after. Duh…….

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