Never Lose Me
Chapter Sixteen: Jealousy
A/N: Yet again, I do not own J.K. Rowling's marvelous story and characters. The only character I own is Rhane (pronounced 'Rain'). BTW, this story opens as a student with a crush that is more than it seems, and the chapters will eventually lead to a 20-something woman with one.^___^ This song is also my own, as are the others. I wrote it. ^_^ It's a slow song, as all the ones for this story are, and pauses a lot.very melodramatic and moody and possibly sad, even. A bit twisted, too-and kinda long. lol^_^ Please review, and if you must criticize, do it CONSTRUCTIVELY, k? Nothing like, 'oh, Snape's ICKY, no girl would ever go after him.' Or anything like that, k? K. ^_^ Papa Roach is very inspiring, especially the new cd..^_____^ Oh, yes, and in this fic, Draco isn't exactly EVIL, per say.just very, very disturbed, twisted, obsessed and sadistic. ^_^. ^_^'^_^YES it's disturbing, and YES it'll probably get worse.^_^' Please don't review and tell me I'm sick or anything for any of these chapters- after all, it would seem quite silly to have Draco be sadistic and all and not try anything like that on Rhane, you know. Besides, if you've gotten this far, you must not really mind disturbingness. ^_^ Oh, and all poems in these stories, I wrote. (My Creative Writing teacher tells me my poetry is 'gothic'..) ^_^ ALSO----IT IS ACTUALLY DECEMBER IN THESE LAST FEW CHAPTERS. O_o Whee, I love writing about characters with MPD!! ((Multiple Personality Disorder))^__________^' Sorry it's late, I was babysitting last night and tonight I saw a play.^_^;
Iris by the GooGoo Dolls is a wonderful song to write this story to..^_^
************************************************************************ As my eyes smolder, I feel my vision go black. I never got the chance to change this, either, I wish fate would cut me some slack.
Love tangles with torment, As light flickers on and off. I swear I didn't mean to display such cruel intent, It's just that it's my nature to scoff.
I wish I were different, But here I go, hitting you once again. I have to hurt you, sorry that's so blunt, It's the only way my personality will go, the only thing it thinks it can win.
I clench my fist and narrow my eyes. I know you love someone else, not me, But I can't stand to see you talking with other guys. I despair because I know my love is eternal, it has already proven to be.
So remember all this, And try to be kind. I may be violent when we kiss, Remember that it's me who, out of love for you, is blind.
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Draco watched, his silvery eyes slightly narrowed, his lips clenched tightly together, his hand shaking slightly, gripping the mug the butterbeer had been in. 'Calm down. You promised her, after all--- remember that. YOU promised her, not anyone else. YOU. So just sit down and be serene, cool, unaffected, CALM.' 'I know. I know what I've done---NOW. I didn't realize it would sting so---.' 'And she hasn't even ASKED him to dance yet! I think you need to look away for this---.' '---.'
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Rhane approached Professor Snape, slight flush to her cheeks, looking nervously down at her toes, then up into the coal-black eyes of the Potions Master, then back down, repeating this for a minute or two before gathering courage and speaking.
"Please, Professor---you look so distant and saddened, do join me for a dance?" She looked so pleadingly that Snape, who had actually been entertaining second thoughts about the whole thing, found himself incapable of saying no. Sighing, he held his arm out, which she took, and accompanied her to the dance floor, to the astonishment of many students and teachers, evident by the sudden flurry of whispering around the entire congregation.
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Draco was, indeed, forcing himself not to watch, as well as turning down dances from the few other girls who, not frightened enough by the stories, had decided they'd ask. Sighing, he put his head in his hands and began what felt like endless waiting for the end of the song. The headache was intense, and the Slytherin knew that this did not bode well for whatever good rested deep within him, hidden far beneath the hardened, jealous block of ice and stone that was normally his heart and soul.
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Rhane smiled as she and Snape assumed the waltz position and she nearly laughed with surprise at the discovery that he as well, was a fairly decent dancer. Not as good or well-polished as Draco, he stepped on her feet a few times, but it felt so amazingly wonderful, so full of truth and purity and all that was good that the Gryffindor was trembling slightly from the strain of being so near to her love, and attempting to hold in the wish to grab him and snog him until she could no longer breathe. Stifling the urge was growing more and more difficult, particularly when their gazes met and were caught, like flies in a web, to the many-lifetimes-strong bond that kept the cycle going. "Severus, I---." The girl whispered, too quietly to have been heard but by the very most attentive of listeners, with the very best of hearing abilities. He dipped her slightly and whispered with the same near-voicelessness, "I know. And yet, there is nothing I can do, nor can you. Our fate, as always, is sealed. Forever, until time itself ends." This seemed to be his explanation and he would say no more.
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All too suddenly, the song ended, and almost instantly, Draco, with a face like a darkening stormcloud, was at her side, his fingers digging painfully into the tender flesh on the inner side of her elbow. Rhane kept the pain from her face, however. It would not do to let it show, after all.
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Draco nodded curtly to the Potions Master and all but dragged Rhane into the gardens. His face was slightly pink, though from embarrassment or anger, even Rhane could not tell, and she prepared for the worst. Moments later, a ringing slap landed on her cheek, and his lips were on hers again, as if trying to hold back any other emotions. When he finally pulled away, leaving his trademark bite of the bottom lip, he spoke in a voice that was a frightening tone of quiet, while slowly running his nails across her arms, leaving tiny trails of shallow cuts.
"Rhane, I hope you realize that is the last time you will be alone with Professor Snape. EVER. I love you, I swear it upon my own bones, you KNOW it is so, and I cannot BEAR to see you with him. It shall not happen again, I shall not allow myself to be so weak as to give in to your whim. NEVER." He stared, eyes aflame, into her face. "Is that clear enough?"
Rhane nodded, eyes widened with slight fear, and a little fascination as well. 'FASCINATION?! At WHAT? The lunacy of Malfoy?' '---.' 'You ARE a fool.'
Draco took her by the arm and led her back into the Yule ball. They danced one more dance, then the Slytherin took her back to her Common Room and left without even once bidding her goodnight. Sighing, she barely managed to change from her dress robes and sink into bed. By the time her head hit the pillow, Rhane was already in dreamland, her wrists already bruised, though she hadn't noticed yet, from earlier, a red mark still across one cheek and claw marks still across her arms in intricate patterns.
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When she didn't see Draco at first, Rhane felt a bit worried, though she had no idea why she'd be worried over that bugger. By noon, the girl knew why he was hiding. ************************************************************************
Draco hadn't intended for Rhane to see him like this, but when she turned the corner, he'd been too startled to cover the bruises, worse than ever before. He didn't know what had possessed his father to be waiting for him by the Slytherin Common Room after the Yule Ball, but it had been worse the previous night than he could ever recall it being before. Draco knew his temperature was now far higher than it should be, he couldn't wear a shirt comfortably, and he had been sitting alone at a dead end for most of the day. Unfortunately, it had been the place Rhane intended to hide from the world in, as well, and she could now see all the bruises, all the pain that had been inflicted on him---his weakness. He cursed himself inwardly. WHY?
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Rhane stared at the skin showing beneath Draco's unbuttoned, half off of his shoulders, white shirt, at the arms revealed because he had rolled up the sleeves. Almost all of his skin was covered in dark blue-purple bruises, and the only places she could see that weren't were covered in welts, except for his hands and his face---for the most part. One eye was black, all bruised and swollen, and he tried to hide all of this while staring blearily, pitifully, at her through his injured eye. "Please--- don't---don't look at me. GO AWAY."
Rhane carefully touched a shoulder, noting that even that lightest of gestures made him wince and bite his lip slightly. "I will not. You need help, Draco. Not just physical help, either, aren't I right? Your----your-- --family---."
"What of them?" Came the surly answer, a glare so intense that Rhane felt a chill run down her body and was suddenly very glad that Draco was now too weak, too in pain to do anything to her right now.
"T-They---someone---you are abused, right?" She whispered the last part, casting her eyes down and looking up at him through the lashes, as if trying to hide behind them.
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Draco said nothing, merely turning his face away. "It's none of your business, even if you ARE my future wife. None of ANYONE's business, really." Draco tried to stand and felt his legs buckle, feeling humiliated as the girl caught him and kept him from completely hurting himself by falling. She stared into his face, almost looking concerned. 'Concerned? She has no concern for me. She probably is merely hoping I die soon from all of this.' 'You know that isn't true. Maybe in other lifetimes it would be, but this one feels---different somehow. You know that.' 'Perhaps. But it's still none of her business!' 'Perhaps.'
He stared the girl over, looking first at the pretty face with all its human flaws and beauty, then down at the curvy figure beneath the face, then back at the face, into the luminous green eyes, so large and framed by such long, dark lashes, that held him their captive, even as he held her physically. He might seem to have the upper hand, but Draco knew that it had been she who had bewitched him, and she who had the true advantage, whether she knew it or not. The silver-blonde boy doubted she knew the power she had over him. Though nothing could change his personality, Rhane could bend some sections, incredibly tiny amounts of bending, but a little is better than none.
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Rhane stared at Draco, feeling something surge between them, feeling a blush rise to her face and wondering why, cursing it for showing up suddenly, for no apparent reason. "Wait here, I'll be right back."
Grimacing with pain, he caught her wrist. "Where are you going?" He managed.
"To get some cold rags for your bruises---especially that shiner. You definitely need to treat it somehow, you know." She headed for the nearest bathroom, leaving the Slytherin to watch her leave with a sort of muddled astonishment. 'She's going---to help ME? Whatever for? I---doesn't she--- hate me? What am I thinking of? Of course she hates me, that will NEVER change.' He sighed slightly.
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After about ten minutes, Rhane returned, laden with a bowl of cold water and small rags. She sat down next to him, dipping one rag in the icy water. "This is probably going to sting-." She didn't finish the rest, 'and I'd love to say you deserve it, but no, you'd only deserve it if it was someone like me who'd given you any pain or bruises---but this sort of beating is going a bit too far.'
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Draco winced and bit down hard on his lip, drawing a drop of blood, as Rhane touched the rag to the nearest bruise. The chill of the water on the skin that felt as if it were on fire gave a sensation that was both pleasuring and painful. He closed his eyes and let himself drift into the deepest recesses of his mind, reliving everything that had happened to create the horrible injuries covering his body. It seemed only a moment, when suddenly, she was gently turning his head and preparing to dab at his eye with another fresh cloth. He clenched at her arm with his nails and saw her flinch through his good eye, but she kept her arm steady and applied the cloth carefully to his eye.
"Ow!" He half-yelped. "Oh, hold still-----there. That should feel better now. Is that the last of them?"
Draco felt a blush rise to his cheeks---foolish emotions!--- and spoke a bit forcefully. "Not anywhere I care to be touched with a cold rag by you, thank you." He felt very satisfied with the sight of the crimson flush that leapt across her entire body, it seemed, and almost laughed. He held himself back, though, by the seriousness of the moment, not wanting to say thank you and seem weak and soft, not wishing to sit in complete, awkward silence. After several moments, he whispered, "You have my gratitude, and---." He looked down. Rhane had fallen asleep, her head resting next to his foot. Sighing, Draco rolled his eyes. Had he felt a bit better, he might have slapped her awake by affronting his dignity---he, DRACO MALFOY, had dared to thank someone aloud---and she---SHE---had slept through it! Glaring slightly, he grabbed a rag and held it to his eye, staring, deep in though, at the wall opposite him.
Author's Note: Hope that was good!^_^ I really try. I love writing, and I love to hear from people about my writing, be it good or ill---but remember- --constructive criticism, I have very sensitive feelings!^___^;^_^
Chapter Sixteen: Jealousy
A/N: Yet again, I do not own J.K. Rowling's marvelous story and characters. The only character I own is Rhane (pronounced 'Rain'). BTW, this story opens as a student with a crush that is more than it seems, and the chapters will eventually lead to a 20-something woman with one.^___^ This song is also my own, as are the others. I wrote it. ^_^ It's a slow song, as all the ones for this story are, and pauses a lot.very melodramatic and moody and possibly sad, even. A bit twisted, too-and kinda long. lol^_^ Please review, and if you must criticize, do it CONSTRUCTIVELY, k? Nothing like, 'oh, Snape's ICKY, no girl would ever go after him.' Or anything like that, k? K. ^_^ Papa Roach is very inspiring, especially the new cd..^_____^ Oh, yes, and in this fic, Draco isn't exactly EVIL, per say.just very, very disturbed, twisted, obsessed and sadistic. ^_^. ^_^'^_^YES it's disturbing, and YES it'll probably get worse.^_^' Please don't review and tell me I'm sick or anything for any of these chapters- after all, it would seem quite silly to have Draco be sadistic and all and not try anything like that on Rhane, you know. Besides, if you've gotten this far, you must not really mind disturbingness. ^_^ Oh, and all poems in these stories, I wrote. (My Creative Writing teacher tells me my poetry is 'gothic'..) ^_^ ALSO----IT IS ACTUALLY DECEMBER IN THESE LAST FEW CHAPTERS. O_o Whee, I love writing about characters with MPD!! ((Multiple Personality Disorder))^__________^' Sorry it's late, I was babysitting last night and tonight I saw a play.^_^;
Iris by the GooGoo Dolls is a wonderful song to write this story to..^_^
************************************************************************ As my eyes smolder, I feel my vision go black. I never got the chance to change this, either, I wish fate would cut me some slack.
Love tangles with torment, As light flickers on and off. I swear I didn't mean to display such cruel intent, It's just that it's my nature to scoff.
I wish I were different, But here I go, hitting you once again. I have to hurt you, sorry that's so blunt, It's the only way my personality will go, the only thing it thinks it can win.
I clench my fist and narrow my eyes. I know you love someone else, not me, But I can't stand to see you talking with other guys. I despair because I know my love is eternal, it has already proven to be.
So remember all this, And try to be kind. I may be violent when we kiss, Remember that it's me who, out of love for you, is blind.
************************************************************************
Draco watched, his silvery eyes slightly narrowed, his lips clenched tightly together, his hand shaking slightly, gripping the mug the butterbeer had been in. 'Calm down. You promised her, after all--- remember that. YOU promised her, not anyone else. YOU. So just sit down and be serene, cool, unaffected, CALM.' 'I know. I know what I've done---NOW. I didn't realize it would sting so---.' 'And she hasn't even ASKED him to dance yet! I think you need to look away for this---.' '---.'
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Rhane approached Professor Snape, slight flush to her cheeks, looking nervously down at her toes, then up into the coal-black eyes of the Potions Master, then back down, repeating this for a minute or two before gathering courage and speaking.
"Please, Professor---you look so distant and saddened, do join me for a dance?" She looked so pleadingly that Snape, who had actually been entertaining second thoughts about the whole thing, found himself incapable of saying no. Sighing, he held his arm out, which she took, and accompanied her to the dance floor, to the astonishment of many students and teachers, evident by the sudden flurry of whispering around the entire congregation.
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Draco was, indeed, forcing himself not to watch, as well as turning down dances from the few other girls who, not frightened enough by the stories, had decided they'd ask. Sighing, he put his head in his hands and began what felt like endless waiting for the end of the song. The headache was intense, and the Slytherin knew that this did not bode well for whatever good rested deep within him, hidden far beneath the hardened, jealous block of ice and stone that was normally his heart and soul.
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Rhane smiled as she and Snape assumed the waltz position and she nearly laughed with surprise at the discovery that he as well, was a fairly decent dancer. Not as good or well-polished as Draco, he stepped on her feet a few times, but it felt so amazingly wonderful, so full of truth and purity and all that was good that the Gryffindor was trembling slightly from the strain of being so near to her love, and attempting to hold in the wish to grab him and snog him until she could no longer breathe. Stifling the urge was growing more and more difficult, particularly when their gazes met and were caught, like flies in a web, to the many-lifetimes-strong bond that kept the cycle going. "Severus, I---." The girl whispered, too quietly to have been heard but by the very most attentive of listeners, with the very best of hearing abilities. He dipped her slightly and whispered with the same near-voicelessness, "I know. And yet, there is nothing I can do, nor can you. Our fate, as always, is sealed. Forever, until time itself ends." This seemed to be his explanation and he would say no more.
************************************************************************
All too suddenly, the song ended, and almost instantly, Draco, with a face like a darkening stormcloud, was at her side, his fingers digging painfully into the tender flesh on the inner side of her elbow. Rhane kept the pain from her face, however. It would not do to let it show, after all.
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Draco nodded curtly to the Potions Master and all but dragged Rhane into the gardens. His face was slightly pink, though from embarrassment or anger, even Rhane could not tell, and she prepared for the worst. Moments later, a ringing slap landed on her cheek, and his lips were on hers again, as if trying to hold back any other emotions. When he finally pulled away, leaving his trademark bite of the bottom lip, he spoke in a voice that was a frightening tone of quiet, while slowly running his nails across her arms, leaving tiny trails of shallow cuts.
"Rhane, I hope you realize that is the last time you will be alone with Professor Snape. EVER. I love you, I swear it upon my own bones, you KNOW it is so, and I cannot BEAR to see you with him. It shall not happen again, I shall not allow myself to be so weak as to give in to your whim. NEVER." He stared, eyes aflame, into her face. "Is that clear enough?"
Rhane nodded, eyes widened with slight fear, and a little fascination as well. 'FASCINATION?! At WHAT? The lunacy of Malfoy?' '---.' 'You ARE a fool.'
Draco took her by the arm and led her back into the Yule ball. They danced one more dance, then the Slytherin took her back to her Common Room and left without even once bidding her goodnight. Sighing, she barely managed to change from her dress robes and sink into bed. By the time her head hit the pillow, Rhane was already in dreamland, her wrists already bruised, though she hadn't noticed yet, from earlier, a red mark still across one cheek and claw marks still across her arms in intricate patterns.
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When she didn't see Draco at first, Rhane felt a bit worried, though she had no idea why she'd be worried over that bugger. By noon, the girl knew why he was hiding. ************************************************************************
Draco hadn't intended for Rhane to see him like this, but when she turned the corner, he'd been too startled to cover the bruises, worse than ever before. He didn't know what had possessed his father to be waiting for him by the Slytherin Common Room after the Yule Ball, but it had been worse the previous night than he could ever recall it being before. Draco knew his temperature was now far higher than it should be, he couldn't wear a shirt comfortably, and he had been sitting alone at a dead end for most of the day. Unfortunately, it had been the place Rhane intended to hide from the world in, as well, and she could now see all the bruises, all the pain that had been inflicted on him---his weakness. He cursed himself inwardly. WHY?
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Rhane stared at the skin showing beneath Draco's unbuttoned, half off of his shoulders, white shirt, at the arms revealed because he had rolled up the sleeves. Almost all of his skin was covered in dark blue-purple bruises, and the only places she could see that weren't were covered in welts, except for his hands and his face---for the most part. One eye was black, all bruised and swollen, and he tried to hide all of this while staring blearily, pitifully, at her through his injured eye. "Please--- don't---don't look at me. GO AWAY."
Rhane carefully touched a shoulder, noting that even that lightest of gestures made him wince and bite his lip slightly. "I will not. You need help, Draco. Not just physical help, either, aren't I right? Your----your-- --family---."
"What of them?" Came the surly answer, a glare so intense that Rhane felt a chill run down her body and was suddenly very glad that Draco was now too weak, too in pain to do anything to her right now.
"T-They---someone---you are abused, right?" She whispered the last part, casting her eyes down and looking up at him through the lashes, as if trying to hide behind them.
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Draco said nothing, merely turning his face away. "It's none of your business, even if you ARE my future wife. None of ANYONE's business, really." Draco tried to stand and felt his legs buckle, feeling humiliated as the girl caught him and kept him from completely hurting himself by falling. She stared into his face, almost looking concerned. 'Concerned? She has no concern for me. She probably is merely hoping I die soon from all of this.' 'You know that isn't true. Maybe in other lifetimes it would be, but this one feels---different somehow. You know that.' 'Perhaps. But it's still none of her business!' 'Perhaps.'
He stared the girl over, looking first at the pretty face with all its human flaws and beauty, then down at the curvy figure beneath the face, then back at the face, into the luminous green eyes, so large and framed by such long, dark lashes, that held him their captive, even as he held her physically. He might seem to have the upper hand, but Draco knew that it had been she who had bewitched him, and she who had the true advantage, whether she knew it or not. The silver-blonde boy doubted she knew the power she had over him. Though nothing could change his personality, Rhane could bend some sections, incredibly tiny amounts of bending, but a little is better than none.
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Rhane stared at Draco, feeling something surge between them, feeling a blush rise to her face and wondering why, cursing it for showing up suddenly, for no apparent reason. "Wait here, I'll be right back."
Grimacing with pain, he caught her wrist. "Where are you going?" He managed.
"To get some cold rags for your bruises---especially that shiner. You definitely need to treat it somehow, you know." She headed for the nearest bathroom, leaving the Slytherin to watch her leave with a sort of muddled astonishment. 'She's going---to help ME? Whatever for? I---doesn't she--- hate me? What am I thinking of? Of course she hates me, that will NEVER change.' He sighed slightly.
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After about ten minutes, Rhane returned, laden with a bowl of cold water and small rags. She sat down next to him, dipping one rag in the icy water. "This is probably going to sting-." She didn't finish the rest, 'and I'd love to say you deserve it, but no, you'd only deserve it if it was someone like me who'd given you any pain or bruises---but this sort of beating is going a bit too far.'
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Draco winced and bit down hard on his lip, drawing a drop of blood, as Rhane touched the rag to the nearest bruise. The chill of the water on the skin that felt as if it were on fire gave a sensation that was both pleasuring and painful. He closed his eyes and let himself drift into the deepest recesses of his mind, reliving everything that had happened to create the horrible injuries covering his body. It seemed only a moment, when suddenly, she was gently turning his head and preparing to dab at his eye with another fresh cloth. He clenched at her arm with his nails and saw her flinch through his good eye, but she kept her arm steady and applied the cloth carefully to his eye.
"Ow!" He half-yelped. "Oh, hold still-----there. That should feel better now. Is that the last of them?"
Draco felt a blush rise to his cheeks---foolish emotions!--- and spoke a bit forcefully. "Not anywhere I care to be touched with a cold rag by you, thank you." He felt very satisfied with the sight of the crimson flush that leapt across her entire body, it seemed, and almost laughed. He held himself back, though, by the seriousness of the moment, not wanting to say thank you and seem weak and soft, not wishing to sit in complete, awkward silence. After several moments, he whispered, "You have my gratitude, and---." He looked down. Rhane had fallen asleep, her head resting next to his foot. Sighing, Draco rolled his eyes. Had he felt a bit better, he might have slapped her awake by affronting his dignity---he, DRACO MALFOY, had dared to thank someone aloud---and she---SHE---had slept through it! Glaring slightly, he grabbed a rag and held it to his eye, staring, deep in though, at the wall opposite him.
Author's Note: Hope that was good!^_^ I really try. I love writing, and I love to hear from people about my writing, be it good or ill---but remember- --constructive criticism, I have very sensitive feelings!^___^;^_^