Chapter One
Return to Winnerrow
A/N: Here it is- finally...chapter 1! ^_^ I hope everyone enjoys it and reviews it or e-mails me about it...hint hint. :D
I boarded the plane bound for West Virginia still sure I was doing the right thing. Doubt didn't begin to plague me until we took off. That was when it set in and wouldn't let go.
Was I doing "the right thing" by going back to Winnerrow and announcing my presence to Heaven and to Luke? Or was the right thing to let them live their lives ignorant of my existence? Surely the latter couldn't be right, for I was sure that even if Luke had moved on, Heaven would need me, her biological mother as much as I needed her!
Another thought struck me then, as most of the passengers dozed. Night had fallen and though I gazed out the window, nothing was visible.
What if Heaven doesn't know I'm her real mother? What if she thinks Sarah is her real
mother?
No, I decided, I wouldn't believe that. I would believe that Annie or Luke or Toby had told Heaven the truth, that her mother was some ignorant hill girl.
What would you have them tell her, Leigh VanVoreen? Would you have Heaven know that her mother was a gullible girl who let herself be charmed and used by Tony Tatterton?, a little voice nagged.
I sighed, and the elderly man in the seat beside me stopped snoring for a moment, then with a little snort, continued.
Once upon a time, I had let myself be taken in by Tony, but circumstances were different then. I was different then.
Even though fourteen years had gone by since I had fled from Farthy, I could still see Tony's blue eyes gazing at me with such intensity…could still see him working feverishly on the mold that was to become Angel, the very first Tatterton Portrait Doll. Even now, I could call to mind the way he had touched me, and how in the end, even fighting back hadn't been enough to cause him to think better of what he was doing.
Though it was not cold on the plane, I shivered, the horror of what Tony had done to me all those years ago still fresh. I could still remember the helplessness I had felt when I had woken from my coma and heard Tony speaking to the doctors, telling them he would take me back to Farthy as soon as I could leave the Boston hospital.
How badly I had wanted to tear lose the IV and other tubes that kept me chained to that despicable hospital bed! I wanted nothing more than to run out of the hospital, run back to Winnerrow to Luke and Heaven, my husband and baby.
But a fifteen year old girl is all but powerless in the eyes of the court. Daddy had helped me, he had fought valiantly to win custody of me. But the stoic judge hadn't been moved by Daddy's words. She hadn't cared that Daddy had seemed lost without me in his life, and she hadn't granted him custody of me. Tony and Momma had won, and although it had caused quite a scandal in their circle of friends, they had said it was all Daddy's idea, that I was perfectly happy at Farthy.
The truth was that I was miserable at Farthy. For the first weeks, I cried myself to sleep every night. I felt as if I had no way out of the situation I was in, but finally I decided to run away again. I didn't care what risks I took as long as I made it back to the Willies.
But Tony had anticipated I might try something like that, and he had put Miles and the other servants on high alert. If they suspected I was up to anything, they were to report it to Tony immediately. And they had done as they were told. As much as Curtis and Miles liked me, they were also that much afraid to disobey Tony.
I could still remember the exact emotions I had felt when I had opened the front door to see Tony standing there, smirking. Anger, fear and frustration had combined into a seemingly nameless emotion, and all I had wanted to do was run past Tony to escape…
Instead, Tony had grounded me to the house. School was to start back in a week anyway, and he had notified the headmistress of the Winterhaven school that I would be returning as a high school sophomore. I didn't doubt that he had pulled strings to get me into the 10th grade when I should really be in the 9th grade, as I had ran away while still in 9th grade. I didn't have credits in certain classes I needed, but Tony assured me that didn't matter. I could take extra classes eventually, he insisted.
The rules grew much stricter after that day. I was only allowed to stay at Winterhaven one weekend out of each month, and if there was a dance held, that was my weekend to stay. Each other week, I came home and when I was studying with a tutor to make up missed classes, I was spending time with little Troy.
Troy had grown into a young gentleman in the time I had been away. He was almost eight years old and in the third grade at one of the best schools in Boston. He and I quickly became each other's only ally in our family, and he truly became like a brother to me. He had looked up to me as his older sister, and at times, the fact that Troy depended on me and loved me was all that kept me from doing something more drastic than running away.
I missed Heaven and Luke each day, and each day my time in the Willies grew to feel more and more like a dream. I had to remind myself it had really happened. I had my "wedding ring", the one the Amazing Mandello had given me on my wedding day, and the small ring symbolized everything that had happened while I lived in the Willies. For now, all I could do was remember Luke's voice, face, smile…his love and tenderness. All I could do was imagine what my darling baby looked like, what her voice sounded like, what she was doing…for by now, she would have been talking and walking for some time. I would have to content myself with knowing that as soon as I was able, I would go back to them.
Tony and Momma tried to keep up the façade that we were a happy family. But I made it clear to them that I wasn't here willingly, and that I intended to leave when I was legally able to do so.
I couldn't trust them- either of them- and I didn't want to try to become a family again. The only people that mattered to me now were Luke, Heaven, Daddy, Troy and Jennifer Longstone. Jennifer had remained my best friend, and besides Momma, Tony, and the doctors, only Jennifer knew just what had happened while I had been gone. I had no intentions of telling anyone else.
The years had passed agonizingly slow. I had continued at Winterhaven, had graduated from there, and had been accepted at Boston University. I had completed my first semester of college and had finally gotten a three week break in between semesters. And I had taken the opportunity to go back to Winnerrow.
I hadn't gone back to Farthy, hadn't even seen Tony or Momma since my 18th birthday. There had been no reason for me to stay at Farthy any longer, no reason to stay imprisoned in that lonely prison. I had waited almost four years to escape and there was nothing and no one that could keep me there now!
And yet I had stayed in the city of my birth, to the place that had been my home for longer than I could remember. Why? Had I been hoping that Momma or Tony or one of their friends would see me? Did I want someone to wonder why Momma never spoke of me anymore- for surely she was ashamed to mention the daughter that had fled from her! Anything that would cause her a moment's worry had been banished from her life- and in the end, although I hadn't been banished, I had escaped from her life and from the life she had planned for me as surely as if she had ordered me gone.
It was beyond my abilities to delve into Momma's mind, so I couldn't know if she ever thought of me. I hoped she thought of me every day and missed me so badly that just the thought of her only daughter made her cry out at night. I hoped she had realized that there are few treasures in this life, and that by letting Tony ruin the best part of me, by letting me run away and not trying to find me and bring me back, by not trying to be the mother I had needed badly at that time in my life, she had lost a real treasure- her only child.
Momma, why wasn't my love for you enough to make you help me?, I wondered. But now, as always, there was no answer. There were only questions.
Sometime during the flight, I drifted off to sleep, and when I woke shortly before we landed, I didn't remember any dreams I may have had. However, I felt as though I was moving in a daze. My movements seemed sluggish. I only vaguely heard the announcement to "buckle your seatbelts as we prepare to land."
What seemed like seconds later, the plane was on the ground. A few minuets later, I was off the plane and in the terminal.
Suddenly, time had sped up and was no longer moving slowly. I was back in West Virginia, and before sunset, I would be in Winnerrow.
I collected my two suitcases and managed to find a taxi. It was a plain, blue sedan, quite different from the yellow Boston taxi cabs. The driver was a man whom I estimated to be in his early forties and he had a pleasant smile. He opened the back door for me and waited until I was settled to drive away.
"Where are you headed, Miss?" He asked politely.
"Winnerrow, please," I replied. He nodded and pulled out onto the highway.
"Will you be visiting family?" He inquired. He must have seen my guarded look, because he quickly added, "forgive me if I'm being nosy. My wife- Lalah- always tells me I'm nosier than any woman she knows," he said, and followed that with a chuckle.
Even I had to smile, and he was apparently encouraged enough by my smile to continue talking.
"We've got a little house and a few acres of land. It's not much, but we're luckier than some." He was silent for a moment and then spoke again. "You ever been up in these mountains? I have," he said, not waiting for my reply. "It's so sad to see those little children without enough food or medical care. Why, most of them don't have indoor heat or air or plumbing!" He exclaimed.
I nodded, remembering without having to be reminded the harsh conditions of living in the Willies.
Oh, but it was all worth it when I was with Luke!, I thought wistfully. And it was true. I hadn't minded giving up the luxuries I had become accustomed to in Boston, and all because I had been so happy with Luke.
"I might as well introduce myself," the driver said, breaking into my thoughts. "I'm Samuel Wallace, but most people around here call me Sammy."
"It's nice to meet you, Sammy," I replied. "I'm Leigh Cast- Leigh VanVoreen," I added. I had almost introduced myself as "Leigh Casteel," when in truth I hadn't been Leigh Casteel for a long time.
"VanVoreen…that's an unusual name," Sammy mused.
"It's Dutch," I said, automatically.
He nodded and focused on the road.
The drive took a little over an hour, and Sammy and I carried on a conversation for part of the time. He told me about his children and his wife, and all he asked, once I told him where I came from, was that I told him what living in Boston was like. I obliged, and talking with this kindly man helped ease the tension crawling all over me.
We arrived in Winnerrow late that afternoon. It was all I could do to keep from leaping out of the cab, and I hastily paid Sammy the fee.
"Thank you," I said as he lifted my bags from the trunk and then closed the trunk.
"It's no problem, Miss VanVoreen," he responded. "You take care," he said and got back into his taxi. A moment later, he drove away, and a few seconds after that, he was out of view. I stared after him for a moment, and then lifted my bags and crossed the street to Winnerrow's only hotel. As soon as I walked in, I was struck by how different this hotel was from the fine New England hotels. People were sitting in the lobby and talking but there was none of the hustle and bustle so evident anywhere in Boston. The townsfolk here did everything on a less hurried scale, and it was a welcome change.
I approached the concierge's desk and set my bags at my feet. A young brunette woman was working behind the desk, and she looked up and smiled at me.
"Can I help you?" She asked.
"I'd like a room," I said.
"How long will you be staying?"
"I'm not sure," I replied honestly. "Let's say a week."
She nodded, and then looked back at me.
"How will you be paying?"
"Cash," I said quickly.
She told me the fee, and I paid her. For the amount of money I would pay to spend two nights in a Boston hotel, I could spend a week at this hotel in Winnerrow.
"Can I ask your name, to put into the computer?" She inquired.
I hesitated for only a second.
"Dianne Jankins." Dianne was my middle name, Jankins was Momma's maiden name. Surely no one would recognize the name here, for no one had ever known that much about me when I had lived here.
There was still a chance someone would recognize me, however. But it had been four years since I had been here, and hopefully most people wouldn't remember me. To my relief, the young desk clerk didn't seem suspicious. She was probably too young to remember me.
"I hope you have a pleasant stay," she said politely, and I smiled at her.
"Thank you," I replied, lifted my bags, took the key she offered, and walked to the elevator. I pushed the button and the doors swished open a moment later. I stepped in, pushed the button for the 3rd floor and the doors closed softly. A moment later I felt the strange lifting sensation of the elevator, and a minuet after that, the doors opened on the 3rd floor.
I stepped out and made my way to my room- 346. I unlocked the door and stepped inside.
For better or for worse, I was now back in Winnerrow.
Return to Winnerrow
A/N: Here it is- finally...chapter 1! ^_^ I hope everyone enjoys it and reviews it or e-mails me about it...hint hint. :D
I boarded the plane bound for West Virginia still sure I was doing the right thing. Doubt didn't begin to plague me until we took off. That was when it set in and wouldn't let go.
Was I doing "the right thing" by going back to Winnerrow and announcing my presence to Heaven and to Luke? Or was the right thing to let them live their lives ignorant of my existence? Surely the latter couldn't be right, for I was sure that even if Luke had moved on, Heaven would need me, her biological mother as much as I needed her!
Another thought struck me then, as most of the passengers dozed. Night had fallen and though I gazed out the window, nothing was visible.
What if Heaven doesn't know I'm her real mother? What if she thinks Sarah is her real
mother?
No, I decided, I wouldn't believe that. I would believe that Annie or Luke or Toby had told Heaven the truth, that her mother was some ignorant hill girl.
What would you have them tell her, Leigh VanVoreen? Would you have Heaven know that her mother was a gullible girl who let herself be charmed and used by Tony Tatterton?, a little voice nagged.
I sighed, and the elderly man in the seat beside me stopped snoring for a moment, then with a little snort, continued.
Once upon a time, I had let myself be taken in by Tony, but circumstances were different then. I was different then.
Even though fourteen years had gone by since I had fled from Farthy, I could still see Tony's blue eyes gazing at me with such intensity…could still see him working feverishly on the mold that was to become Angel, the very first Tatterton Portrait Doll. Even now, I could call to mind the way he had touched me, and how in the end, even fighting back hadn't been enough to cause him to think better of what he was doing.
Though it was not cold on the plane, I shivered, the horror of what Tony had done to me all those years ago still fresh. I could still remember the helplessness I had felt when I had woken from my coma and heard Tony speaking to the doctors, telling them he would take me back to Farthy as soon as I could leave the Boston hospital.
How badly I had wanted to tear lose the IV and other tubes that kept me chained to that despicable hospital bed! I wanted nothing more than to run out of the hospital, run back to Winnerrow to Luke and Heaven, my husband and baby.
But a fifteen year old girl is all but powerless in the eyes of the court. Daddy had helped me, he had fought valiantly to win custody of me. But the stoic judge hadn't been moved by Daddy's words. She hadn't cared that Daddy had seemed lost without me in his life, and she hadn't granted him custody of me. Tony and Momma had won, and although it had caused quite a scandal in their circle of friends, they had said it was all Daddy's idea, that I was perfectly happy at Farthy.
The truth was that I was miserable at Farthy. For the first weeks, I cried myself to sleep every night. I felt as if I had no way out of the situation I was in, but finally I decided to run away again. I didn't care what risks I took as long as I made it back to the Willies.
But Tony had anticipated I might try something like that, and he had put Miles and the other servants on high alert. If they suspected I was up to anything, they were to report it to Tony immediately. And they had done as they were told. As much as Curtis and Miles liked me, they were also that much afraid to disobey Tony.
I could still remember the exact emotions I had felt when I had opened the front door to see Tony standing there, smirking. Anger, fear and frustration had combined into a seemingly nameless emotion, and all I had wanted to do was run past Tony to escape…
Instead, Tony had grounded me to the house. School was to start back in a week anyway, and he had notified the headmistress of the Winterhaven school that I would be returning as a high school sophomore. I didn't doubt that he had pulled strings to get me into the 10th grade when I should really be in the 9th grade, as I had ran away while still in 9th grade. I didn't have credits in certain classes I needed, but Tony assured me that didn't matter. I could take extra classes eventually, he insisted.
The rules grew much stricter after that day. I was only allowed to stay at Winterhaven one weekend out of each month, and if there was a dance held, that was my weekend to stay. Each other week, I came home and when I was studying with a tutor to make up missed classes, I was spending time with little Troy.
Troy had grown into a young gentleman in the time I had been away. He was almost eight years old and in the third grade at one of the best schools in Boston. He and I quickly became each other's only ally in our family, and he truly became like a brother to me. He had looked up to me as his older sister, and at times, the fact that Troy depended on me and loved me was all that kept me from doing something more drastic than running away.
I missed Heaven and Luke each day, and each day my time in the Willies grew to feel more and more like a dream. I had to remind myself it had really happened. I had my "wedding ring", the one the Amazing Mandello had given me on my wedding day, and the small ring symbolized everything that had happened while I lived in the Willies. For now, all I could do was remember Luke's voice, face, smile…his love and tenderness. All I could do was imagine what my darling baby looked like, what her voice sounded like, what she was doing…for by now, she would have been talking and walking for some time. I would have to content myself with knowing that as soon as I was able, I would go back to them.
Tony and Momma tried to keep up the façade that we were a happy family. But I made it clear to them that I wasn't here willingly, and that I intended to leave when I was legally able to do so.
I couldn't trust them- either of them- and I didn't want to try to become a family again. The only people that mattered to me now were Luke, Heaven, Daddy, Troy and Jennifer Longstone. Jennifer had remained my best friend, and besides Momma, Tony, and the doctors, only Jennifer knew just what had happened while I had been gone. I had no intentions of telling anyone else.
The years had passed agonizingly slow. I had continued at Winterhaven, had graduated from there, and had been accepted at Boston University. I had completed my first semester of college and had finally gotten a three week break in between semesters. And I had taken the opportunity to go back to Winnerrow.
I hadn't gone back to Farthy, hadn't even seen Tony or Momma since my 18th birthday. There had been no reason for me to stay at Farthy any longer, no reason to stay imprisoned in that lonely prison. I had waited almost four years to escape and there was nothing and no one that could keep me there now!
And yet I had stayed in the city of my birth, to the place that had been my home for longer than I could remember. Why? Had I been hoping that Momma or Tony or one of their friends would see me? Did I want someone to wonder why Momma never spoke of me anymore- for surely she was ashamed to mention the daughter that had fled from her! Anything that would cause her a moment's worry had been banished from her life- and in the end, although I hadn't been banished, I had escaped from her life and from the life she had planned for me as surely as if she had ordered me gone.
It was beyond my abilities to delve into Momma's mind, so I couldn't know if she ever thought of me. I hoped she thought of me every day and missed me so badly that just the thought of her only daughter made her cry out at night. I hoped she had realized that there are few treasures in this life, and that by letting Tony ruin the best part of me, by letting me run away and not trying to find me and bring me back, by not trying to be the mother I had needed badly at that time in my life, she had lost a real treasure- her only child.
Momma, why wasn't my love for you enough to make you help me?, I wondered. But now, as always, there was no answer. There were only questions.
Sometime during the flight, I drifted off to sleep, and when I woke shortly before we landed, I didn't remember any dreams I may have had. However, I felt as though I was moving in a daze. My movements seemed sluggish. I only vaguely heard the announcement to "buckle your seatbelts as we prepare to land."
What seemed like seconds later, the plane was on the ground. A few minuets later, I was off the plane and in the terminal.
Suddenly, time had sped up and was no longer moving slowly. I was back in West Virginia, and before sunset, I would be in Winnerrow.
I collected my two suitcases and managed to find a taxi. It was a plain, blue sedan, quite different from the yellow Boston taxi cabs. The driver was a man whom I estimated to be in his early forties and he had a pleasant smile. He opened the back door for me and waited until I was settled to drive away.
"Where are you headed, Miss?" He asked politely.
"Winnerrow, please," I replied. He nodded and pulled out onto the highway.
"Will you be visiting family?" He inquired. He must have seen my guarded look, because he quickly added, "forgive me if I'm being nosy. My wife- Lalah- always tells me I'm nosier than any woman she knows," he said, and followed that with a chuckle.
Even I had to smile, and he was apparently encouraged enough by my smile to continue talking.
"We've got a little house and a few acres of land. It's not much, but we're luckier than some." He was silent for a moment and then spoke again. "You ever been up in these mountains? I have," he said, not waiting for my reply. "It's so sad to see those little children without enough food or medical care. Why, most of them don't have indoor heat or air or plumbing!" He exclaimed.
I nodded, remembering without having to be reminded the harsh conditions of living in the Willies.
Oh, but it was all worth it when I was with Luke!, I thought wistfully. And it was true. I hadn't minded giving up the luxuries I had become accustomed to in Boston, and all because I had been so happy with Luke.
"I might as well introduce myself," the driver said, breaking into my thoughts. "I'm Samuel Wallace, but most people around here call me Sammy."
"It's nice to meet you, Sammy," I replied. "I'm Leigh Cast- Leigh VanVoreen," I added. I had almost introduced myself as "Leigh Casteel," when in truth I hadn't been Leigh Casteel for a long time.
"VanVoreen…that's an unusual name," Sammy mused.
"It's Dutch," I said, automatically.
He nodded and focused on the road.
The drive took a little over an hour, and Sammy and I carried on a conversation for part of the time. He told me about his children and his wife, and all he asked, once I told him where I came from, was that I told him what living in Boston was like. I obliged, and talking with this kindly man helped ease the tension crawling all over me.
We arrived in Winnerrow late that afternoon. It was all I could do to keep from leaping out of the cab, and I hastily paid Sammy the fee.
"Thank you," I said as he lifted my bags from the trunk and then closed the trunk.
"It's no problem, Miss VanVoreen," he responded. "You take care," he said and got back into his taxi. A moment later, he drove away, and a few seconds after that, he was out of view. I stared after him for a moment, and then lifted my bags and crossed the street to Winnerrow's only hotel. As soon as I walked in, I was struck by how different this hotel was from the fine New England hotels. People were sitting in the lobby and talking but there was none of the hustle and bustle so evident anywhere in Boston. The townsfolk here did everything on a less hurried scale, and it was a welcome change.
I approached the concierge's desk and set my bags at my feet. A young brunette woman was working behind the desk, and she looked up and smiled at me.
"Can I help you?" She asked.
"I'd like a room," I said.
"How long will you be staying?"
"I'm not sure," I replied honestly. "Let's say a week."
She nodded, and then looked back at me.
"How will you be paying?"
"Cash," I said quickly.
She told me the fee, and I paid her. For the amount of money I would pay to spend two nights in a Boston hotel, I could spend a week at this hotel in Winnerrow.
"Can I ask your name, to put into the computer?" She inquired.
I hesitated for only a second.
"Dianne Jankins." Dianne was my middle name, Jankins was Momma's maiden name. Surely no one would recognize the name here, for no one had ever known that much about me when I had lived here.
There was still a chance someone would recognize me, however. But it had been four years since I had been here, and hopefully most people wouldn't remember me. To my relief, the young desk clerk didn't seem suspicious. She was probably too young to remember me.
"I hope you have a pleasant stay," she said politely, and I smiled at her.
"Thank you," I replied, lifted my bags, took the key she offered, and walked to the elevator. I pushed the button and the doors swished open a moment later. I stepped in, pushed the button for the 3rd floor and the doors closed softly. A moment later I felt the strange lifting sensation of the elevator, and a minuet after that, the doors opened on the 3rd floor.
I stepped out and made my way to my room- 346. I unlocked the door and stepped inside.
For better or for worse, I was now back in Winnerrow.