Disclaimer: I am not going to write anymore disclaimers for any more of my chapters. I have written three already and everyone knows I don't own any of the characters anyway. So my previous disclaimers are going to apply for the rest of my fic, okay?
That last chapter was kinda weird. I loved it!
Hey, I got my first flame! A D/N lover hated my D/N chapter! Go figure. Well, like I said before, my dear flamer, tell me WHY it blew, not just that it blew. 'K? And Numair is SO a pedophile! For God's sake, he is 15 years older than Daine!
Enough of this, now. On with the making fun of Kel and Dom! (A/N: I haven't read Lady Knight yet, God knows why, but I have a pretty good idea of how the story line goes. So sue me if I have few details wrong. Just work with me!)
Based on my observations, these Kel/Dom fics usually start out after Lady Knight: at a camp, or something of the sort. New Hope, usually. Lots of militariness occurs in these stories. Possibly either Kel or Dom is on border patrol and is waiting for the other to come to the camp. But for sake of making this easy to read, let's have Kel at the camp, waiting for Dom to come to her.
Dom: I have been thinking about Kel an awful lot lately. She is so beautiful! What am I thinking?!? She would never like me like that……would she? If she does feel the same way, maybe I should be a man and take the initiative…….nah. I'm too big a wuss, even though I am a sergeant and all.
Kel: I have been thinking about Dom an awful lot lately. What a handsome smile he has! Is it just me, or does he flirt with me all the time? *sighs dreamily* Wait, what am I thinking? He would never feel the same way about me.
Tobe: Hi! I'm the annoying little kid that seems to be every Kel/Dom fic. I'm not really in the story, I'm just along for the ride!
Kel: Shut up, Tobe, and go saddle my horse, or…….something.
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Sergeant Domitan of Masbolle and his troops finally return from border patrol, a refugee camp, or some random assignment that King Jonathon gave them. Kel's heart flutters when she sees him, of course.
Dom: Hey Kel! Nice to see you again. *shakes her hand and smiles handsomely* I really want to hug you but I am afraid that you would think I was hitting on you.
Kel: Hey Dom, good to see you! *tries (unsuccessfully) not to blush* How inconvenient of my Yamani mask not to work at a time like this.
Neal: Yo! I am in the story to offer comic relief – my witty remarks, bantering with my cousin, and such. I am also the one who usually seems to know about Kel's and Dom's feelings towards each other. So, Dom, when you gonna hook up with Kel?
Dom: *a look of shock befalls his handsome face and covers it up by laughing awkwardly* Heh heh, um…-
Neal: Right. So Kel, when do you plan to confess your undying love to Dom?
Kel: *looks shocked but quickly puts on her Yamani mask, the so-very-useful facial expression to hide all facial expressions and shrugs* I dunno…It's very interesting that you are always the only one who figures these things out, Neal… *changes subject* Oh no!
Neal: What?
Kel: It's those darn raiders again.
Neal: *sigh* In EVERY SINGLE Kel/Dom fic we have this problem. Sometimes the author might refer to them as raiders. Maybe thieves, or possibly bandits. Why won't they leave us alone? *sighs deeply again* Call the troops…
Detailed fight scene proceeds. All the soldiers gather their troops together and the author uses many technical military terms, war strategies and /or tactics that don't usually have the desired effect on the reader.
Dom: *in the midst of fighting* Kel, don't go off anywhere alone or get captured!
Kel: ...Oh! Don't tell me - King Maggur of Scanra has plans to kidnap me, usually due to a supernatural prophecy thingy or else he just wants to get revenge and torture Tortall's secrets out of me, right?
Dom: Yep, I think you hit the nail on the head. This particular plot line is very useful to the author, not only because it delivers a great amount of suspense, but it's also a way for me, Dom, to get up off my butt and prove and declare my love to you. I could do it now while you're here with me, but I'm too big a wuss.
(*sigh* Yes, Kel gets kidnapped. She gets taken to Scanra, where King Maggur tries to force the secrets out of her by torture and such. Dom generally ends up rescuing her. That is, if the story is even finished.)
Sometimes Kel does not get kidnapped. Kidnapping our heroine Kel would force the author to create an elaborate, detailed plot, which might not appeal to said author because they either can't think of a storyline or they desire fluff. In that case, the story might end like this on a fluffy note:
The fighting ceases and all is at peace again. At this point of the story, Kel and/or Dom usually confess their love for each other, often times by suddenly kissing each other out of the blue.
Dom: I love you, Kel. *smiles, rather handsomely*
Kel: I love you too, Dom. *Then they kiss, rather fluffily.* (A/N: Dom has morals, you know. He hardly ever sleeps with Kel. In fact, I don't think there are any dirty Kel/Dom fics.)
Soldiers of the King's Own: *whistle* Finally! Good God, we thought you two would never get together! Somehow we all knew about these secret infatuations but we didn't want to say anything.
The End.
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Well, that was Chapter Four! I hoped you guys liked it. I haven't updated in awhile because I was attempting to recover from writer's block. I think I'm going to do an Alanna goes to the convent next, probably… Later guys! Oh, and review, too!