Never Lose Me
Chapter Twenty: Masks
A/N: Yet again, I do not own J.K. Rowling's marvelous story and characters. The only character I own is Rhane (pronounced 'Rain') The story's a bit twisted, to warn you-and kinda long. Or at least, it will be. I hope. lol^_^ Please review, and if you must criticize, do it CONSTRUCTIVELY, k? Nothing like, 'oh, Snape's ICKY, no girl would ever go after him.' Or anything like that, k? K. ^_^ Papa Roach is very inspiring, especially the new cd..^_____^ Oh, yes, and in this fic, Draco isn't exactly EVIL, per say.just very, very disturbed, twisted, obsessed and sadistic. ^_^. ^_^'^_^YES it's disturbing, and YES it'll probably get worse.^_^' Please don't review and tell me I'm sick or anything for any of these chapters- after all, it would seem quite silly to have Draco be sadistic and all and not try anything like that on Rhane, you know. Besides, if you've gotten this far, you must not really mind disturbingness. ^_^ Oh, and all poems in these stories, I wrote. (My Creative Writing teacher tells me my poetry is 'gothic'..) ^_^ ALSO----IT IS ACTUALLY DECEMBER IN THESE LAST FEW CHAPTERS. O_o Whee, I love writing about characters with MPD!! ((Multiple Personality Disorder))^__________^Sorry for not writing for a little bit, I was cleaning all day yesterday for Thanksgiving today.^_^
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'Angel I am not, Perhaps I am a mere sot. I know I can be a devil, it appears that is my lot. I suppose you wish I'd rot.
It is you who are the angel, though perhaps not innocent, you are indeed sweet. You make me feel an untidy slob, I've never felt less neat. And I know that, for you, seeing me is not any sort of treat. Yet I intend to win you, though I know not how I'll manage this feat.
Hurt and hurt alike, I want to strange anyone who might be trying to take you from me. Perhaps my love for you has blinded me and made me unable to see, I wish that we could just be left to be. But my father would, if leaving me alone is the only other option, rather I was hung from a tree.
Do you see the welts and bruises, the cuts and pains that I bear? My mask of haughty superiority may well just be a mask I wear. We all wear masks, though, and you see through them if you take to time to stare, If you take the time to venture into the monster's lair.
What mask do you wear, dearest one? For I know that whilst I call you angel, you aren't shining inside like the sun. You,too wear a mask, one that perhaps insinuates that none of this is any fun, And perhaps it resembles the feelings of the true you, and the race still must be run.
Fair lady, I know I cause you pain because I myself am in pain, And I do not wonder that you believe you will not stand to gain, But remember that I love you, even as the moon begins to wane. I love you so, though from hurting you I cannot refrain.'
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Softly, softly did the shadow in the darkness move. A small note attached to a package, all of it black, was left next to the Gryffindor Common Room, and the shadow vanished, as if into thin air itself, the moment Rhane stepped out of the entrance. Looking down, she spotted that which was left for her, and her brow furrowed. Whatever could it be this time? Rhane threw the package and note into her bag, to be opened later.
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Snape stared into space, a slightly blank and glazed look to his expression as he conjured up a memory of the first woman he had loved in this life. He let his mind bring her name into focus---Alin. Alin Meriole. He had loved her, little minx that she was! And---'At one time, she loved me as well.' Snape whispered to himself, inside his mind. Yet, there had been a new person in her life months after they began dating. She had met the intensely personable Samuel Tyrin, a boy known for his dashing good looks and his terribly wicked flirtations with those of the female persuasion. Snape had seethed, unable to do anything as Alin drifted firther from him, nearly ripped his hair from his head when, their final year at Hogwarts, she had become engaged to the git.
He remembered all too well-he had kept that mirror, that atrocious representation of all his anger, all his pain, through the rest of his years, hanging it in his new room as a Professor, and always remembering with poignancy his inability to make the woman he had loved love him. And now there was Rhane, whom he could not truly express his full emotions too until she had graduated-and even then, it was bound to raise eyebrows, the age difference being so great and all. Of course, there was also the matter of that medieval-style marriage arrangement between Draco and Rhane. Sighing, he felt a strange memory tug at him---being invited to Alin and Samuel's wedding-he had attended, but remained alone in a dark corner throughout the entirety of the ceremony---what else? Oh. Yes, Alin had wrote him once more-and only once-to inform him that she and Samuel had a son-what was the boy's name? He couldn't recall, for the life of him. Ah, well, it was of little importance, anyways, he imagined the boy had probably not turned out to be a wizard, he did not remember seeing anyone who resembled Alin or Samuel, but, of course, the boy might look completely different-one never knew-or he might not have noticed the child.
************************************************************************ Rhane finally managed through her first class, trying not to look to often at Snape or Draco, though why she felt the need to look over at Draco was of the greatest perplexity to her. She left the classroom when class ended without any reproach or hindrance from Draco, he apparently saw no reason for jealousy yet today. As she exited, Rhane would have sworn she saw a shape move away from the hall with extreme swiftness, like a deer chased by a hunter, a shape all in black, with unruly hair of the darkest black she had ever laid eyes upon. She attempted to follow the shadow, but soon realized that she would never catch up-indeed, perhaps it had all been her imagination, so determined to find the person who was stalking her that it had conjured up these strange visions. Rhane suddenly wanted more than ever to open the package and the letter that seemed to be burning a hole in her schoolbag, but restrained herself, knowing she must wait until noon. The Gryffindor didn't want to miss any more classes if she could help it, for it simply wouldn't do-not if she intended to graduate and be with Snape. 'I must wait.' Rhane told herself firmly and headed to her next class.
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Noon could not have arrived sooner. The moment her class ended, she all but raced to a dead-end hallway, sitting down and instantly pulling the black package and letter from her bag. First, she opened the letter, all written in that smooth, elegant white handwriting.
***Beloved Rhane, I think of you more and more each day. Your face, your eyes, your very self haunts me, and I find I toss and turn at night for inability to sleep, all because of you. I have composed a simple little poem, accept it as you have the rose, and now this.
'I know you do not know me well at all, But I feel as if I have loved you since I was born. I know it's not that dramatic-it's just my heart and its foolish fall, That make me believe I will not receive from you any scorn.
I cannot bear to see you love another other than no one, If you do not love me. I am my mother's only son, But all the money in the world is nothing if you are too blind to see.
Please love me, please hear my cries, If not, I shall fall into despair. Know that unlike so many others, nothing I say involves a mess of lies, And I shall expire if you do not care.
Blood taken from myself-I have not shirked from pain, I relish in hurting only myself when things go wrong. Perhaps I should be more flowery and from this dark talk refrain, After all, you may not be able to handle it-are you that strong?
Beautiful angel, practiced temptress, Whichever you are means little to me-I love you anyway. I open my heart, you alone have full access, Please come to me and stay.'
I hope you will enjoy the present, there will be more to follow.
***Love from the shadow that rushes with the night, the one who truly loves you***
Immediately, Rhane simply paled, shook herself, and turned to unwrap the package.
Layers upon layers of black tissue later, she discovered a small, long box at the bottom. Upon opening it, Rhane gasped with happiness. It was a complete set of absolutely amazing, fabulously expensive drawing pencils! All black, she noticed, the papers on the pencils. Even the wood was black. Nonethess, the brunette became so absorbed in the wonderful art supplies that she didn't even notice the shadow that fell across her. When she finally looked up, her eyes widened at the sight of Draco.
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'Why does she keep receiving gifts from this mystery man? I swear it makes me so----so----so ANGRY! I cannot hold my temper in check if this persists-- -I cannot hold it in right now, I can already feel it surging through my blood, through my pulse, controlling me and my actions.' The silver- blonde's thoughts slowly melted into sheer hatred, jealousy, and-hidden beneath the new stirrings of horrid emotions-love. For it was, after all, love that inspired the other emotions, love that created them.
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He pulled Rhane to her feet only to shove her into the wall, placing one arm around her waist, nails cutting into her back through her clothes. He had a wild look about him, eyes aflame and skin still fevered as if a flame truly was in full blaze inside. Draco stared directly into Rhane's eyes, letting the flow of his mind be visible to her. The feelings, the raw emotion she saw there made her tremble inside, both repelling and intriguing her. 'Why do I feel as if there is something almost irresistible about his eyes? I cannot look away, try as I might----and the pain there! It is so terribly great, it is no wonder he has a fever. But, still---I do not understand what is wrong with me. I must be fevered, myself, to feel so oddly--.' Rhane tried to twist from his grasp, which resulted in a bestial growl issuing from his throat and a slap to the cheek.
"Do not try and run away, pretty angel. Or ARE you quite the angel I perceive you to be? I imagine not. WHY do you keep receiving these gifts? WHY?! I LOVE you, Rhane, you KNOW I do, why do you play such games?" His voice went from a roar to a whisper, back to a roar, and ended in a soft, silky whisper that almost made her feel horribly sorry, as if SHE had done something! It was unthinkable.
Draco stared pleadingly, and Rhane could only whisper, "I do not ask for them, you know."
His eyes turned first hard, then so pained SHE almost cried at it. 'Foolish girl, to be so affected by others' emotions-even others who are normally so hateful---who is probably about to force a kiss on you, even!'
And, indeed, Draco leaned forward, first brushing his lips slowly across hers, then letting the inevitable fire inside of him take control, biting and passionately snogging her, holding her waist and arm with a vice-like grip, cutting into the tended flesh with his nails, almost without meaning to. When he pulled back, Rhane noticed that he had bit his own lip as well-- -so their blood would mingle?!---and was licking the wound slowly, watching her with those silvery eyes. Finally, he leaned and whispered, running his nails down one of her arms almost seductively, sending shivers down her spine. "Remember, though---I love you. I may have to start reading whatever letters this other person sends you---I may be able to figure him out---and THEN---." His eyes hardened, his words became sharper, but finally he shook himself and released her, walking off into the rest of the school, to finish the day's classes. Rhane headed for her next class as well, mind still shaken up and rather confused.
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The shadow stumbled into the Ravenclaw Common Room. A black rose had been left upon the fair Rhane's bedside table---his owl had seen to that. A soft, almost husky voice called that owl forth, prepared to feed it a few owl treats for good work and a job well-done.
"Kuro! Kuro, owl treats!" The midnight-black owl swooped in, all dignity, and snatched up the food left for it as the shadow struggled into bed. It had been another busy day, it seemed, and the owl was simply pleased there had been treats at the end of it---nothing was worth it if there were no treats, after all.
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Snape stared into the scratched mirror, trying to ascertain why he couldn't shake the feeling that something strange was going on indeed. Perhaps he was just a little overworked, a little overanxious, he needed a good night's rest. With this in mind, he blew out the candles and made an extremely difficult attempt to sleep upon hitting the pillow, though it didn't work and he stared at the darkened ceiling for at least half an hour before Slumber took him away.
************************************************************************ Rhane, as well, was pulling off her clothes and changing into her nightgown, still musing over the day's events, completely and utterly in turmoil. Her last thought before she fell asleep, snuggled deep into the down comforters, was 'I must be going completely and utterly insane---all of this show of sanity and calmness---it's all just---a mask.' The Gryffindor's eyes were drooping even as she thought this, her mind trying not to finish the sentence even as it worked its way into her brain, and the moment it finished, Rhane was fast asleep.
Author's Note:Dooodoodododooo----:spooky music:^__^Like the chapter?^_^I DO hope so----I really like the poem for this one.^_^
Chapter Twenty: Masks
A/N: Yet again, I do not own J.K. Rowling's marvelous story and characters. The only character I own is Rhane (pronounced 'Rain') The story's a bit twisted, to warn you-and kinda long. Or at least, it will be. I hope. lol^_^ Please review, and if you must criticize, do it CONSTRUCTIVELY, k? Nothing like, 'oh, Snape's ICKY, no girl would ever go after him.' Or anything like that, k? K. ^_^ Papa Roach is very inspiring, especially the new cd..^_____^ Oh, yes, and in this fic, Draco isn't exactly EVIL, per say.just very, very disturbed, twisted, obsessed and sadistic. ^_^. ^_^'^_^YES it's disturbing, and YES it'll probably get worse.^_^' Please don't review and tell me I'm sick or anything for any of these chapters- after all, it would seem quite silly to have Draco be sadistic and all and not try anything like that on Rhane, you know. Besides, if you've gotten this far, you must not really mind disturbingness. ^_^ Oh, and all poems in these stories, I wrote. (My Creative Writing teacher tells me my poetry is 'gothic'..) ^_^ ALSO----IT IS ACTUALLY DECEMBER IN THESE LAST FEW CHAPTERS. O_o Whee, I love writing about characters with MPD!! ((Multiple Personality Disorder))^__________^Sorry for not writing for a little bit, I was cleaning all day yesterday for Thanksgiving today.^_^
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'Angel I am not, Perhaps I am a mere sot. I know I can be a devil, it appears that is my lot. I suppose you wish I'd rot.
It is you who are the angel, though perhaps not innocent, you are indeed sweet. You make me feel an untidy slob, I've never felt less neat. And I know that, for you, seeing me is not any sort of treat. Yet I intend to win you, though I know not how I'll manage this feat.
Hurt and hurt alike, I want to strange anyone who might be trying to take you from me. Perhaps my love for you has blinded me and made me unable to see, I wish that we could just be left to be. But my father would, if leaving me alone is the only other option, rather I was hung from a tree.
Do you see the welts and bruises, the cuts and pains that I bear? My mask of haughty superiority may well just be a mask I wear. We all wear masks, though, and you see through them if you take to time to stare, If you take the time to venture into the monster's lair.
What mask do you wear, dearest one? For I know that whilst I call you angel, you aren't shining inside like the sun. You,too wear a mask, one that perhaps insinuates that none of this is any fun, And perhaps it resembles the feelings of the true you, and the race still must be run.
Fair lady, I know I cause you pain because I myself am in pain, And I do not wonder that you believe you will not stand to gain, But remember that I love you, even as the moon begins to wane. I love you so, though from hurting you I cannot refrain.'
************************************************************************
Softly, softly did the shadow in the darkness move. A small note attached to a package, all of it black, was left next to the Gryffindor Common Room, and the shadow vanished, as if into thin air itself, the moment Rhane stepped out of the entrance. Looking down, she spotted that which was left for her, and her brow furrowed. Whatever could it be this time? Rhane threw the package and note into her bag, to be opened later.
************************************************************************
Snape stared into space, a slightly blank and glazed look to his expression as he conjured up a memory of the first woman he had loved in this life. He let his mind bring her name into focus---Alin. Alin Meriole. He had loved her, little minx that she was! And---'At one time, she loved me as well.' Snape whispered to himself, inside his mind. Yet, there had been a new person in her life months after they began dating. She had met the intensely personable Samuel Tyrin, a boy known for his dashing good looks and his terribly wicked flirtations with those of the female persuasion. Snape had seethed, unable to do anything as Alin drifted firther from him, nearly ripped his hair from his head when, their final year at Hogwarts, she had become engaged to the git.
He remembered all too well-he had kept that mirror, that atrocious representation of all his anger, all his pain, through the rest of his years, hanging it in his new room as a Professor, and always remembering with poignancy his inability to make the woman he had loved love him. And now there was Rhane, whom he could not truly express his full emotions too until she had graduated-and even then, it was bound to raise eyebrows, the age difference being so great and all. Of course, there was also the matter of that medieval-style marriage arrangement between Draco and Rhane. Sighing, he felt a strange memory tug at him---being invited to Alin and Samuel's wedding-he had attended, but remained alone in a dark corner throughout the entirety of the ceremony---what else? Oh. Yes, Alin had wrote him once more-and only once-to inform him that she and Samuel had a son-what was the boy's name? He couldn't recall, for the life of him. Ah, well, it was of little importance, anyways, he imagined the boy had probably not turned out to be a wizard, he did not remember seeing anyone who resembled Alin or Samuel, but, of course, the boy might look completely different-one never knew-or he might not have noticed the child.
************************************************************************ Rhane finally managed through her first class, trying not to look to often at Snape or Draco, though why she felt the need to look over at Draco was of the greatest perplexity to her. She left the classroom when class ended without any reproach or hindrance from Draco, he apparently saw no reason for jealousy yet today. As she exited, Rhane would have sworn she saw a shape move away from the hall with extreme swiftness, like a deer chased by a hunter, a shape all in black, with unruly hair of the darkest black she had ever laid eyes upon. She attempted to follow the shadow, but soon realized that she would never catch up-indeed, perhaps it had all been her imagination, so determined to find the person who was stalking her that it had conjured up these strange visions. Rhane suddenly wanted more than ever to open the package and the letter that seemed to be burning a hole in her schoolbag, but restrained herself, knowing she must wait until noon. The Gryffindor didn't want to miss any more classes if she could help it, for it simply wouldn't do-not if she intended to graduate and be with Snape. 'I must wait.' Rhane told herself firmly and headed to her next class.
************************************************************************
Noon could not have arrived sooner. The moment her class ended, she all but raced to a dead-end hallway, sitting down and instantly pulling the black package and letter from her bag. First, she opened the letter, all written in that smooth, elegant white handwriting.
***Beloved Rhane, I think of you more and more each day. Your face, your eyes, your very self haunts me, and I find I toss and turn at night for inability to sleep, all because of you. I have composed a simple little poem, accept it as you have the rose, and now this.
'I know you do not know me well at all, But I feel as if I have loved you since I was born. I know it's not that dramatic-it's just my heart and its foolish fall, That make me believe I will not receive from you any scorn.
I cannot bear to see you love another other than no one, If you do not love me. I am my mother's only son, But all the money in the world is nothing if you are too blind to see.
Please love me, please hear my cries, If not, I shall fall into despair. Know that unlike so many others, nothing I say involves a mess of lies, And I shall expire if you do not care.
Blood taken from myself-I have not shirked from pain, I relish in hurting only myself when things go wrong. Perhaps I should be more flowery and from this dark talk refrain, After all, you may not be able to handle it-are you that strong?
Beautiful angel, practiced temptress, Whichever you are means little to me-I love you anyway. I open my heart, you alone have full access, Please come to me and stay.'
I hope you will enjoy the present, there will be more to follow.
***Love from the shadow that rushes with the night, the one who truly loves you***
Immediately, Rhane simply paled, shook herself, and turned to unwrap the package.
Layers upon layers of black tissue later, she discovered a small, long box at the bottom. Upon opening it, Rhane gasped with happiness. It was a complete set of absolutely amazing, fabulously expensive drawing pencils! All black, she noticed, the papers on the pencils. Even the wood was black. Nonethess, the brunette became so absorbed in the wonderful art supplies that she didn't even notice the shadow that fell across her. When she finally looked up, her eyes widened at the sight of Draco.
************************************************************************
'Why does she keep receiving gifts from this mystery man? I swear it makes me so----so----so ANGRY! I cannot hold my temper in check if this persists-- -I cannot hold it in right now, I can already feel it surging through my blood, through my pulse, controlling me and my actions.' The silver- blonde's thoughts slowly melted into sheer hatred, jealousy, and-hidden beneath the new stirrings of horrid emotions-love. For it was, after all, love that inspired the other emotions, love that created them.
************************************************************************
He pulled Rhane to her feet only to shove her into the wall, placing one arm around her waist, nails cutting into her back through her clothes. He had a wild look about him, eyes aflame and skin still fevered as if a flame truly was in full blaze inside. Draco stared directly into Rhane's eyes, letting the flow of his mind be visible to her. The feelings, the raw emotion she saw there made her tremble inside, both repelling and intriguing her. 'Why do I feel as if there is something almost irresistible about his eyes? I cannot look away, try as I might----and the pain there! It is so terribly great, it is no wonder he has a fever. But, still---I do not understand what is wrong with me. I must be fevered, myself, to feel so oddly--.' Rhane tried to twist from his grasp, which resulted in a bestial growl issuing from his throat and a slap to the cheek.
"Do not try and run away, pretty angel. Or ARE you quite the angel I perceive you to be? I imagine not. WHY do you keep receiving these gifts? WHY?! I LOVE you, Rhane, you KNOW I do, why do you play such games?" His voice went from a roar to a whisper, back to a roar, and ended in a soft, silky whisper that almost made her feel horribly sorry, as if SHE had done something! It was unthinkable.
Draco stared pleadingly, and Rhane could only whisper, "I do not ask for them, you know."
His eyes turned first hard, then so pained SHE almost cried at it. 'Foolish girl, to be so affected by others' emotions-even others who are normally so hateful---who is probably about to force a kiss on you, even!'
And, indeed, Draco leaned forward, first brushing his lips slowly across hers, then letting the inevitable fire inside of him take control, biting and passionately snogging her, holding her waist and arm with a vice-like grip, cutting into the tended flesh with his nails, almost without meaning to. When he pulled back, Rhane noticed that he had bit his own lip as well-- -so their blood would mingle?!---and was licking the wound slowly, watching her with those silvery eyes. Finally, he leaned and whispered, running his nails down one of her arms almost seductively, sending shivers down her spine. "Remember, though---I love you. I may have to start reading whatever letters this other person sends you---I may be able to figure him out---and THEN---." His eyes hardened, his words became sharper, but finally he shook himself and released her, walking off into the rest of the school, to finish the day's classes. Rhane headed for her next class as well, mind still shaken up and rather confused.
************************************************************************
The shadow stumbled into the Ravenclaw Common Room. A black rose had been left upon the fair Rhane's bedside table---his owl had seen to that. A soft, almost husky voice called that owl forth, prepared to feed it a few owl treats for good work and a job well-done.
"Kuro! Kuro, owl treats!" The midnight-black owl swooped in, all dignity, and snatched up the food left for it as the shadow struggled into bed. It had been another busy day, it seemed, and the owl was simply pleased there had been treats at the end of it---nothing was worth it if there were no treats, after all.
************************************************************************
Snape stared into the scratched mirror, trying to ascertain why he couldn't shake the feeling that something strange was going on indeed. Perhaps he was just a little overworked, a little overanxious, he needed a good night's rest. With this in mind, he blew out the candles and made an extremely difficult attempt to sleep upon hitting the pillow, though it didn't work and he stared at the darkened ceiling for at least half an hour before Slumber took him away.
************************************************************************ Rhane, as well, was pulling off her clothes and changing into her nightgown, still musing over the day's events, completely and utterly in turmoil. Her last thought before she fell asleep, snuggled deep into the down comforters, was 'I must be going completely and utterly insane---all of this show of sanity and calmness---it's all just---a mask.' The Gryffindor's eyes were drooping even as she thought this, her mind trying not to finish the sentence even as it worked its way into her brain, and the moment it finished, Rhane was fast asleep.
Author's Note:Dooodoodododooo----:spooky music:^__^Like the chapter?^_^I DO hope so----I really like the poem for this one.^_^