Chapter Twenty-Eight: Gossamer
A/N: Yet again, I do not own J.K. Rowling's marvelous story and characters. The only characters I own are Rhane (pronounced 'Rain'.The story's a bit twisted, to warn you-and kinda long. Or at least, it will be. I hope. lol^_^), the mystery stalker, Snape's previous lover and her husband. Please review, and if you must criticize, do it CONSTRUCTIVELY, k? Nothing like, 'oh, Snape's ICKY, no girl would ever go after him.' Or anything like that, k? K. ^_^ Disturbed is very inspiring, too...^_____^ Oh, yes, and in this fic, Draco isn't exactly EVIL, per say.just very, very disturbed, twisted, obsessed and sadistic. ^_^. ^_^'^_^YES it's disturbing, and YES it'll probably get worse.^_^' Please don't review and tell me I'm sick or anything for any of these chapters- after all, it would seem quite silly to have Draco be sadistic and all and not try anything like that on Rhane, you know. Besides, if you've gotten this far, you must not really mind disturbingness. ^_^ Oh, and all poems in these stories, I wrote. (My Creative Writing teacher tells me my poetry is 'gothic'..) ^_^ O_o Whee, I love writing about characters with MPD!! ((Multiple Personality Disorder))^__________^Well, I'm finally back and quite a bit older in experience than when I left. I'm sorry, but I've been going through a LOT of family trauma and personal, emotional trauma as well as increasingly worse depression. However, I got the urge to right again tonight after a very good day Friday, so here I am. ^_^Thank you, all who haven't given up on me. For those who asked for more Snape, here you are-More of his past and the previous lover he had.and why he's bitter. Also, To anyone wondering why Madame Pomfrey never spoke out about what she suspects and sees with Draco-Lucius Malfoy is pretty powerful. I doubt she'd want to try and see if she can beat him in a battle of law-he'd find some way to finagle his way out of it and then come back to take care of HER. ^_^ oy.the person I like was chewing on his lip nervously the other day and bit it and it bled and he touched it to see if he was bleeding and his finger came back all bloody, so he realized he was, obviously..it was bizarre, but it made me think of my story, and suddenly, I wanted to write some more.let's not even go into THAT connection, shall we? O_o
**************************************************************** THANKS EVERYONE WHO HAS REVIEWED, I'LL ACKNOWLEDGE YOU INDIVIDUALLY IN THE NEXT CHAPTER OR SO!!!! THANK YOU ALL SOOOOOOOO MUCH!!!!!!!!^_____________^YOUR SUPPORT MEANS SO MUCH!^_^ ESPECIALLY SINCE I MADE YOU ALL WAIT!!!!!
**************************************************************** 'Memories are soft and beat against my skin like hopes long gone,
Gossamer wings flutter and vanish beyond my line of vision.
It is you with the wings, for try as I might, my memories hold me down, Tied to their soft, persuasive song and everything that has been and cannot be again.
I know the silken chains of gossamer that keep me down, So dear to my heart, cannot take your place-
But I worry that they might keep me from taking mine.'
****************************************************************
Snape lay awake, staring at the ceiling in the darkness yet again. He had not spoken to Rhane in so long-weeks, it seemed. He should feel relieved, but somehow, the Potions professor simply felt-saddened. Incredibly saddened. Her hold on his heart had such a grip and though he hadn't realized it, he needed her more that he would ever have believed.
'I guess it's true what they say-You never know what you've got until it's gone.' Severus thought to himself, almost musingly. Frustrated, he rubbed his forehead and ran a hand over the top of his head. The last time he had been so bemused and felt so very alone had been quite a long time ago.quite a long time indeed. Snape began to search his memory for the images, the scenes, of that past. He had been so young-perhaps a year younger than Rhane was now. He had known Alin since his first year at Hogwarts, and had tried so very hard to impress her. Finally, in his fourth year, she had come up to him unexpectedly the day before a small dance in celebration of O.W.L. scores being higher than ever before. Severus Snape remembered it like it was yesterday.
****************************************************************
"Will you go with me to the dance?" The bell-like voice rung out clear into the incredulous ears. Inky hair flowed from a face of soft, pale gold. Eyes of silver stared down at the olive-toned boy who normally felt like an outcast that no one could ever want.
"W-what did you say?" He whispered, his voice cracking badly with shock.
Her soft, slanted eyes laughed and she grinned. "My name is Alin Meriole. Please be my escort to tomorrow night's dance, Severus. I really like you quite a lot-you seem so fascinating and mysterious, which is always wonderful for someone like me. I mean, look at me! I'm so boring-" Her mouth playfully smirked and her eyes narrowed with the expression, though it was a cheerful narrowing.
"I-I don't know what to say-"
"Say yes, of course! You can pick me up tomorrow night five minutes before the party. Be on time. See you then, Severus!-Can I call you Sev?"
"I-sure." The young man's mind reeled with sudden surges of emotion and confusion. He-HE had a date!
They attended the dance the next night to everyone's surprise. Even more shocking was the fact that Snape seemed to have observed all the rules of hygiene. His hair was even sparklingly clean and brushed, and he actually looked fairly good for someone who'd spent many years of neglecting physical appearance while nurturing the mind instead.
"Come on! You're not a bad dancer-we just need to be somewhere away from the crowds for a bit. Let's go for a walk, alright?" Without waiting for an answer, she smiled irresistibly and tugged on his arm until he followed her without being prompted. As they neared the middle of the garden, she stopped and smiled up at him.
"Your hair looks beautiful like that, Sev. Keep it up, please-it's
truly an amazing transformation-I always liked you for your mind, but
now- now I see I can like the way you look, as well." Alin leaned forward, face upturned rather expectantly.
Severus stared down at her closed eyes and upturned face. Although he
both did and did not know what he was doing, he was still a teenage
boy, and there are some things that do not require prompting or
perfect knowledge of to do. Their lips met in a very awkward kiss,
which soon melted as she took over and it turned more passionate. When
they finally separated, Alin smiled.
"I think I might just fall in love with you, Sev. Let's not let this
be our last date, alright?"
All he could do was nod dumbly, still in shock with the stains of red
lipstick on his lips.
Laughing, the raven-haired girl wiped the lipstick from his lips with
one black glove before grabbing his hand and pulling him back into the
dance.
***********************************************************
Snape remembered that night well enough, yes indeed. It was the
first thing he remembered when he looked into that old mirror. The
second was how he'd received that mirror in the first place.
***********************************************************
"Come on, Sev! I have a present for you!"
Laughing, Severus rolled his eyes and tried not to feel embarrassed as
a few other Slytherins looked over at them in the Common Room.
"Why in the world do you have a present for me, Lin?" He asked, using
the nickname she had chosen for herself.
Giggling, Alin half yelled, "Because we've been dating for a month,
and I wanted to be romantic, silly!"
Snape's face burned red under the force of all the attention this
statement brought.
"Alright, what is it?"
She handed him a package all in black and red, her silver eyes shining
with happiness. Severus opened it slowly and pulled out the most
gorgeous mirror he had ever seen. Slightly oval, with a squared
effect in four places on the edge and delicate filigree all around the
piece of mirror in the center, it looked like it had been quite
expensive.
"But-I have nothing to give you-" He whispered sadly, looking down at
his second-hand school robes, patched in places. His family wasn't as
rich as Alin's, and while they weren't the poorest, they were
spendthrifts, and he rarely received even a Knut or two for his own
spending.
"That's alright, dear." The girl smiled, but he could see she felt a
little hurt, and he resolved to get her something-even if only flowers-
the next day.
***********************************************************
Snape laughed softly to himself on the inside. He should have
known she would become dissatisfied with him. Although she had been
much like Rhane in enthusiasm, she had always been bolder-as well as
much more superficial than the auburn-haired girl who was taking her
place in his heart. Yes, superficiality-that was what had turned her
head when Samuel Tyrin had come along, just five months after the
mirror incident. Then, seven months later, she'd hit him with
something that had destroyed his teenage heart and scarred him
emotionally for a long time to come.
***********************************************************
"Severus."
Snape's head snapped up. He knew something was wrong when she called
him by his full name. Softly, he replied, "Yes, Lin?"
"I-I'm sorry, but-I can't see you anymore. That is, we can't see each
other. I'm engaged to Samuel-Samuel Tyrin. Remember? We met him about
two months ago, at that interesting party the Ravenclaws were having-
Well, we've secretly been meeting and going places together, and last
night he asked me to marry him. I said yes, of course, and-I'm so
very sorry, but you and I cannot exist anymore. It was fun, Severus,
but-I'm going to be married as soon as I graduate from Hogwarts.
Goodbye, Severus."
And she turned and walked away from him, catching up to her new
fiancé a few feet away. As she took Samuel's hand, the other man
turned and gave a better-than-you smirk that reflected deep into his
violet eyes, and then turned back to whisper something to Alin, making
her laugh demurely and flutter her lashes.
With all the passion in his soul, Severus hated Samuel, and worse,
hated what had happened to him with the experiment of being in love.
All because Samuel was handsome and wealthy, the one he had loved,
whom had claimed to love him, had left without so much as a regret!
Swearing loudly, Snape returned to his room and began to angrily claw
at the mirror, scratching it deeply and breaking several nails in the
process. Finally, he collapsed into a silently sobbing, shaking heap
on the ground.
***********************************************************
Professor Snape sighed, remembering that day all too well. No,
Rhane was not as much like Alin as he had thought, at first. Really,
they were very different-it was only the experience of falling in love
that had made them similar, he supposed. Closing his eyes, he
remembered what had happened next.
***********************************************************
The days and weeks had flown by, then, suddenly, he was out of
school and applying for the position of Professor. It had been a
month into his new career, when he received the invitation.
'You are cordially invited to the wedding of Samuel Tyrin and Alin
Meriole. You must rsvp. It is in two weeks. Please dress
accordingly. Thank you.'
He had crumpled the letter, but had done as the invitation instructed.
Two weeks passed quickly, and he found himself dressed as nicely as
possible, walking up the drive to the mansion the wedding was to take
place in-one of Tyrin's many homes, he had heard.
After the wedding, the world went by in a blur until he had received a
letter, many years later, announcing the birth of 'Sir Samuel and Lady
Alin Tyrin's firstborn son, Cyir Kurill Tyrin. (THAT was the boy's
name, he remembered now!)
***********************************************************
Snape smiled sadly. Ah, well, that was all in the past-no need
to worry about it. It seemed as though something heavy, and yet
gossamer-soft lifted from his body, allowing him to fall into a deep,
peaceful sleep as the night wore on.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Hope you enjoyed the connections with Snape's past. An
interlude from the always-in-your-face action going on normally. Enjoy
the Snapey goodness. Thank you, as always, for your patience with me-I
just found a new band I LOVE-Iced Earth. The songs 'Dracula' and 'I
Died For You' are AMAZING. TRULY.^_^ Until next time, which will be
soon!
A/N: Yet again, I do not own J.K. Rowling's marvelous story and characters. The only characters I own are Rhane (pronounced 'Rain'.The story's a bit twisted, to warn you-and kinda long. Or at least, it will be. I hope. lol^_^), the mystery stalker, Snape's previous lover and her husband. Please review, and if you must criticize, do it CONSTRUCTIVELY, k? Nothing like, 'oh, Snape's ICKY, no girl would ever go after him.' Or anything like that, k? K. ^_^ Disturbed is very inspiring, too...^_____^ Oh, yes, and in this fic, Draco isn't exactly EVIL, per say.just very, very disturbed, twisted, obsessed and sadistic. ^_^. ^_^'^_^YES it's disturbing, and YES it'll probably get worse.^_^' Please don't review and tell me I'm sick or anything for any of these chapters- after all, it would seem quite silly to have Draco be sadistic and all and not try anything like that on Rhane, you know. Besides, if you've gotten this far, you must not really mind disturbingness. ^_^ Oh, and all poems in these stories, I wrote. (My Creative Writing teacher tells me my poetry is 'gothic'..) ^_^ O_o Whee, I love writing about characters with MPD!! ((Multiple Personality Disorder))^__________^Well, I'm finally back and quite a bit older in experience than when I left. I'm sorry, but I've been going through a LOT of family trauma and personal, emotional trauma as well as increasingly worse depression. However, I got the urge to right again tonight after a very good day Friday, so here I am. ^_^Thank you, all who haven't given up on me. For those who asked for more Snape, here you are-More of his past and the previous lover he had.and why he's bitter. Also, To anyone wondering why Madame Pomfrey never spoke out about what she suspects and sees with Draco-Lucius Malfoy is pretty powerful. I doubt she'd want to try and see if she can beat him in a battle of law-he'd find some way to finagle his way out of it and then come back to take care of HER. ^_^ oy.the person I like was chewing on his lip nervously the other day and bit it and it bled and he touched it to see if he was bleeding and his finger came back all bloody, so he realized he was, obviously..it was bizarre, but it made me think of my story, and suddenly, I wanted to write some more.let's not even go into THAT connection, shall we? O_o
**************************************************************** THANKS EVERYONE WHO HAS REVIEWED, I'LL ACKNOWLEDGE YOU INDIVIDUALLY IN THE NEXT CHAPTER OR SO!!!! THANK YOU ALL SOOOOOOOO MUCH!!!!!!!!^_____________^YOUR SUPPORT MEANS SO MUCH!^_^ ESPECIALLY SINCE I MADE YOU ALL WAIT!!!!!
**************************************************************** 'Memories are soft and beat against my skin like hopes long gone,
Gossamer wings flutter and vanish beyond my line of vision.
It is you with the wings, for try as I might, my memories hold me down, Tied to their soft, persuasive song and everything that has been and cannot be again.
I know the silken chains of gossamer that keep me down, So dear to my heart, cannot take your place-
But I worry that they might keep me from taking mine.'
****************************************************************
Snape lay awake, staring at the ceiling in the darkness yet again. He had not spoken to Rhane in so long-weeks, it seemed. He should feel relieved, but somehow, the Potions professor simply felt-saddened. Incredibly saddened. Her hold on his heart had such a grip and though he hadn't realized it, he needed her more that he would ever have believed.
'I guess it's true what they say-You never know what you've got until it's gone.' Severus thought to himself, almost musingly. Frustrated, he rubbed his forehead and ran a hand over the top of his head. The last time he had been so bemused and felt so very alone had been quite a long time ago.quite a long time indeed. Snape began to search his memory for the images, the scenes, of that past. He had been so young-perhaps a year younger than Rhane was now. He had known Alin since his first year at Hogwarts, and had tried so very hard to impress her. Finally, in his fourth year, she had come up to him unexpectedly the day before a small dance in celebration of O.W.L. scores being higher than ever before. Severus Snape remembered it like it was yesterday.
****************************************************************
"Will you go with me to the dance?" The bell-like voice rung out clear into the incredulous ears. Inky hair flowed from a face of soft, pale gold. Eyes of silver stared down at the olive-toned boy who normally felt like an outcast that no one could ever want.
"W-what did you say?" He whispered, his voice cracking badly with shock.
Her soft, slanted eyes laughed and she grinned. "My name is Alin Meriole. Please be my escort to tomorrow night's dance, Severus. I really like you quite a lot-you seem so fascinating and mysterious, which is always wonderful for someone like me. I mean, look at me! I'm so boring-" Her mouth playfully smirked and her eyes narrowed with the expression, though it was a cheerful narrowing.
"I-I don't know what to say-"
"Say yes, of course! You can pick me up tomorrow night five minutes before the party. Be on time. See you then, Severus!-Can I call you Sev?"
"I-sure." The young man's mind reeled with sudden surges of emotion and confusion. He-HE had a date!
They attended the dance the next night to everyone's surprise. Even more shocking was the fact that Snape seemed to have observed all the rules of hygiene. His hair was even sparklingly clean and brushed, and he actually looked fairly good for someone who'd spent many years of neglecting physical appearance while nurturing the mind instead.
"Come on! You're not a bad dancer-we just need to be somewhere away from the crowds for a bit. Let's go for a walk, alright?" Without waiting for an answer, she smiled irresistibly and tugged on his arm until he followed her without being prompted. As they neared the middle of the garden, she stopped and smiled up at him.
"Your hair looks beautiful like that, Sev. Keep it up, please-it's
truly an amazing transformation-I always liked you for your mind, but
now- now I see I can like the way you look, as well." Alin leaned forward, face upturned rather expectantly.
Severus stared down at her closed eyes and upturned face. Although he
both did and did not know what he was doing, he was still a teenage
boy, and there are some things that do not require prompting or
perfect knowledge of to do. Their lips met in a very awkward kiss,
which soon melted as she took over and it turned more passionate. When
they finally separated, Alin smiled.
"I think I might just fall in love with you, Sev. Let's not let this
be our last date, alright?"
All he could do was nod dumbly, still in shock with the stains of red
lipstick on his lips.
Laughing, the raven-haired girl wiped the lipstick from his lips with
one black glove before grabbing his hand and pulling him back into the
dance.
***********************************************************
Snape remembered that night well enough, yes indeed. It was the
first thing he remembered when he looked into that old mirror. The
second was how he'd received that mirror in the first place.
***********************************************************
"Come on, Sev! I have a present for you!"
Laughing, Severus rolled his eyes and tried not to feel embarrassed as
a few other Slytherins looked over at them in the Common Room.
"Why in the world do you have a present for me, Lin?" He asked, using
the nickname she had chosen for herself.
Giggling, Alin half yelled, "Because we've been dating for a month,
and I wanted to be romantic, silly!"
Snape's face burned red under the force of all the attention this
statement brought.
"Alright, what is it?"
She handed him a package all in black and red, her silver eyes shining
with happiness. Severus opened it slowly and pulled out the most
gorgeous mirror he had ever seen. Slightly oval, with a squared
effect in four places on the edge and delicate filigree all around the
piece of mirror in the center, it looked like it had been quite
expensive.
"But-I have nothing to give you-" He whispered sadly, looking down at
his second-hand school robes, patched in places. His family wasn't as
rich as Alin's, and while they weren't the poorest, they were
spendthrifts, and he rarely received even a Knut or two for his own
spending.
"That's alright, dear." The girl smiled, but he could see she felt a
little hurt, and he resolved to get her something-even if only flowers-
the next day.
***********************************************************
Snape laughed softly to himself on the inside. He should have
known she would become dissatisfied with him. Although she had been
much like Rhane in enthusiasm, she had always been bolder-as well as
much more superficial than the auburn-haired girl who was taking her
place in his heart. Yes, superficiality-that was what had turned her
head when Samuel Tyrin had come along, just five months after the
mirror incident. Then, seven months later, she'd hit him with
something that had destroyed his teenage heart and scarred him
emotionally for a long time to come.
***********************************************************
"Severus."
Snape's head snapped up. He knew something was wrong when she called
him by his full name. Softly, he replied, "Yes, Lin?"
"I-I'm sorry, but-I can't see you anymore. That is, we can't see each
other. I'm engaged to Samuel-Samuel Tyrin. Remember? We met him about
two months ago, at that interesting party the Ravenclaws were having-
Well, we've secretly been meeting and going places together, and last
night he asked me to marry him. I said yes, of course, and-I'm so
very sorry, but you and I cannot exist anymore. It was fun, Severus,
but-I'm going to be married as soon as I graduate from Hogwarts.
Goodbye, Severus."
And she turned and walked away from him, catching up to her new
fiancé a few feet away. As she took Samuel's hand, the other man
turned and gave a better-than-you smirk that reflected deep into his
violet eyes, and then turned back to whisper something to Alin, making
her laugh demurely and flutter her lashes.
With all the passion in his soul, Severus hated Samuel, and worse,
hated what had happened to him with the experiment of being in love.
All because Samuel was handsome and wealthy, the one he had loved,
whom had claimed to love him, had left without so much as a regret!
Swearing loudly, Snape returned to his room and began to angrily claw
at the mirror, scratching it deeply and breaking several nails in the
process. Finally, he collapsed into a silently sobbing, shaking heap
on the ground.
***********************************************************
Professor Snape sighed, remembering that day all too well. No,
Rhane was not as much like Alin as he had thought, at first. Really,
they were very different-it was only the experience of falling in love
that had made them similar, he supposed. Closing his eyes, he
remembered what had happened next.
***********************************************************
The days and weeks had flown by, then, suddenly, he was out of
school and applying for the position of Professor. It had been a
month into his new career, when he received the invitation.
'You are cordially invited to the wedding of Samuel Tyrin and Alin
Meriole. You must rsvp. It is in two weeks. Please dress
accordingly. Thank you.'
He had crumpled the letter, but had done as the invitation instructed.
Two weeks passed quickly, and he found himself dressed as nicely as
possible, walking up the drive to the mansion the wedding was to take
place in-one of Tyrin's many homes, he had heard.
After the wedding, the world went by in a blur until he had received a
letter, many years later, announcing the birth of 'Sir Samuel and Lady
Alin Tyrin's firstborn son, Cyir Kurill Tyrin. (THAT was the boy's
name, he remembered now!)
***********************************************************
Snape smiled sadly. Ah, well, that was all in the past-no need
to worry about it. It seemed as though something heavy, and yet
gossamer-soft lifted from his body, allowing him to fall into a deep,
peaceful sleep as the night wore on.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Hope you enjoyed the connections with Snape's past. An
interlude from the always-in-your-face action going on normally. Enjoy
the Snapey goodness. Thank you, as always, for your patience with me-I
just found a new band I LOVE-Iced Earth. The songs 'Dracula' and 'I
Died For You' are AMAZING. TRULY.^_^ Until next time, which will be
soon!