Disclaimer: IY does not belong to me.
Warning: This might be a LITTLE OOC, so you are warned. I *tried* that's all I can do!
Chapter 5 - What are you thinking?
Sesshomaru walked upstairs and shut his bedroom door. He threw his bag on the floor, and flopped on his bed. He let out a sigh. This had to be the weirdest first day of school he ever had.
The only reason he was still in school was that he was upgrading. He technically graduated the year before, but he had to get a year of advanced courses so that he could get into the program at University.
He hadn't found out from anyone who the girl with Miroku was. He asked Inuyasha about it, but was told by him that Miroku had dumped them. Inuyasha had never even seen her face, or even heard of her before the rave.
She was a vision. She evoked a sensation in him he never felt before. He wanted her. He wanted her bad. 'I'll find her at the next rave. But the next rave is not for another three weeks.' He whined to himself. 'No point in dwelling in the past, I have the future to look forward to.'
He laughed. He remembered Kouga and Inuyasha fighting over the stupid initiation of some freshmen. He had stopped it before it got too far.
He couldn't believe that Ms. Kaede gave him a test on the first day. That test was hard. Then he couldn't believe that the new girl had finished it in record speed.
She was a vision. She didn't seem conceited. She showed the teacher a huge amount of respect. He recognized the language as Japanese, but couldn't catch what she was talking about. He heard the word 'Hojo', and knew that term sounded familiar, but he couldn't be sure from where.
Then he walked into his English class, and she was sitting there reading a book. She looked calm. She looked like a goddess. She looked a lot like Kikyo, but that's where the similarities ended.
Even he was amazed when she had handed in the assignment in English and he had just assigned it. He felt sorry for her too, when Williams humiliated her in front of the class. He remembered saying to himself, 'Williams is a fucking hard marker. I'll have to work my ass off in this class.' Then for the first time ever, he complimented Kagome.
She hadn't stayed long in the classes. He couldn't concentrate on his English book; his mind kept wandering back to her. She looked at him, just before she left. Her eyes sparkled. He could swear that she was on the verge of tears when she sat back down. For some reason it angered him at the thought of her crying.
Gym class had to be interesting. He hadn't seen her until he was outside. She was setting up the targets. She looked like a spirited warrior in her hakama. He wanted to take her hair out of the bun, and see what she looked like, but he restrained himself with great effort.
The best part was when she made Kikyo eat crow. She moved with such speed and grace, unlike Kikyo's sloppy jerkiness. Then again she entranced him like a siren and placed the blindfold over her beautiful eyes. He was shocked even more when she let arrows fly at a speed he's never seen before.
He was left speechless when she gave Kikyo her target. It probably wasn't her name, but it humbled Kikyo. 'I wonder what it means. I should ask her.'
He never even raised the bow, he watched her all class. She didn't even notice his piercing eyes on her. She was in the zone. He got like that when he was training. He let out a groan. 'She smoked me at lunch. I, Sesshomaru, am the second best in the world. I let Kagome make mince meat out of me in front of the whole class. But for some reason, the spirit she had when she was shooting was gone. He felt her spirit gone. He wanted to comfort her, but he spent the quick sparing session trying to block her.
'I've never seen anyone like her. She's so strong, and yet she's so weak. I have to find out what caused her pain, somehow I have to try to fix it.' Sesshomaru recalled telling himself.
Sesshomaru got up off his bed and turned on his stereo. Angry classical music filled his room. He crawled back on his bed and let the music lull him to sleep.
~*~*~*~*~*~*
He was woken up by his half brother jumping on him. "What do you want, Inuyasha?" His eyes were golden slits.
"Sess man. I had the best time!"
"How nice. And you woke me up for this?" He raised his eyebrows in disapproval.
"Aren't you going to ask me where I was?"
Sesshomaru looked extremely disinterested, but decided to humor his brother. "Fine, where were you?"
"I was at Kagome's house this whole time. It's so fucking cool there. I was tempted to sleep over there, fuck I want to live there!" Inuyasha finally flung himself beside his brother. "You'd love it there! She has a fucking dojo in her house. I looked at her trophies!" Inuyasha made a whistling sound. "Sess, this chick is better than both of us combined. Not only is she the best in archery, but also she's the best in fucking Japan for Kendo. Hey! You found that out the hard way didn't you?"
Sesshomaru remained silent. 'Sesshomaru wants to kill Inuyasha. If he continues on this path, I'm going to have to kick his ass. Why am I so possessive over someone that's not mine? I'm not being possessive; I'm protecting her from Inuyasha. He's a bad influence. If Kagome knew what was good for her, she'd run far away for Inuyasha. I'll make sure of it. I'll start tomorrow. Great.. it is normal to have a sane conversation with yourself? Now if I answer this question I'll have to declare myself insane. Stop it! Enough of this!'
"Besides, we have a date at lunch tomorrow." Inuyasha said interrupting his monologue.
"Really?" This perked his interests
"I told you she was cool. Man her house is huge too. She can cook too! I've eaten so much today, I think I'll fucking blow if I eat anymore."
Sesshomaru was getting annoyed. "Have you dropped by to see Kanna?"
"Fuck! I completely forgot about Kanna." Inuyasha jumped off the bed and bolted out of the room.
Sesshomaru shook his head. Chemistry class was a potential nightmare if Kagome had not been there. He smelt the gas, but he froze. He saw Kagome tell everyone to get down. 'She can be authoritative and assertive when need be. Everyone listened except for Inuyasha and Kanna.' He saw Kagome tackle Inuyasha to the ground. She tried to grab Kanna, but the girl recoiled from her touch.
Had she not been there, he would be in the hospital waiting for news on Inuyasha instead of lying on his bed contemplating Kagome. 'Does he even realize that if it wasn't for Kagome, he'd be dead. And Kagome goes and waits on him. He doesn't deserve to be in the same room with her.'
'I couldn't leave knowing she was trying to save Inuyasha and the teacher. Sango never once left. She helped escort others out, hell she was the one that pulled the fire alarm. I just stood there watching her. I was fucking helpless. I couldn't move when instinct told me to run, and I couldn't move when I saw her struggle against the flames. It was only when she called me by my name did she call me from death itself.'
Sesshomaru stood up and turned off the stereo. 'I should really apologize to Sango tomorrow. I think I scared the kid out of her mind.' After they got out of the school, and after a paramedic looked at her, he grabbed her and pinned her against the side of the ambulance and demanded for Sango to tell him the reason as to why Kagome was crying in the gym. At first she was reluctant, but he could be very persuading. He used his full strength, and will. Sango caved. She told him.
Now he understood. He felt her pain. She had no one. She was all alone. He wanted to run and hold her in his arms. He understood why it hurt her so much to spar against him, the fear, the realization of her past coming up to her. She was so strong. 'Gawd! I want to take her and wait a minute! What did she say to me at the start of Chem.?' He thought real hard, 'I'm sorry! What did she have to be sorry for? Oh she humiliated him in front of the class, that's right. She apologized.'
Pride soared in Sesshomaru. 'I'm going to make you happy Kagome, I can promise you that. If there is only one thing that I can do in my life, it's going to be to make you happy.'
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Everyone had left for the night and Kagome went up to her study. She pulled a file out of the drawer, and sat down to read it. It was a file that she read many times; when she felt alone. It contained everything that was left of her family: their death certificates, and various paperwork.
She sighed. She knew that she wasn't an ordinary girl; she was thought of as superhuman. She had to be. The world was cold, dark and bleak. She had to form herself around that.
It became her mission in life to be the best, and as a result the best is what she was. But she would give it all up in a heart beat.
She wanted nothing more than to be normal. She didn't want to be the coveted student, who excelled at everything she did. She was alone, and no one understood. She would rather have a loving family, rather than money and "friends". She wanted nothing more than to be the average struggling student looking to fit in.
She didn't want to be the freak of nature that was the best in everything. She found she was repulsed by herself at times. She hated herself for pushing too hard, but that was a fact of this reality. She couldn't change that. She tried.
She scoffed at the thought. 'I bought my friends. I paid for Miroku's happiness. That was selfish, but why shouldn't I be? When my family died, they left me with so much money; enough to buy a small country. What's a few thousand dollars compared to spending my time alone?
That's my greatest fear: being alone. No one knows the emptiness that I feel whenever I see Meg with Shippo and Miroku. I want something like that for me, but alas, I have reality to face. My family is dead.'
Kagome shifted through the papers and came across the last family photo they had taken together. Tears came to Kagome's eyes. Softly she whispered, "This was the last time we were happy together. This was the night before I went to Japan. There was no sorrow that night, no heart ache. We were all happy. Happy to the very core of our souls.
Now that's not going to happen again, at least not until I die and can be taken to you." She wiped the tears from her eyes, and carefully wipes away the tear stains from the picture. She quickly put the folder away, and suddenly felt tired. With a heavy sigh, she got up and switched off the light and went to sleep.
***************************
A/N: Please don't be mad with me, I still have no clue as to who I want the pairings to be! *starts tearing out hair* I know! I know! I should make up my mind, but I hope you like the suspense that's been my madness. I added this last part to some concerns that I got about Miroku being a user, and Kagome being a "supreme teenage version of wonder-woman." (hopefully you aren't offended) ^_~ so I had to work that out. FYI, my female characters are *ALWAYS* portrayed as being strong. I have this thing about weak female characters, I have an urge to either kill them off, or make them more into my image. X_X Plus there is always that ONE student who is good at everything; but you know what, I've been there and it's not pretty. I know from experience that I'd rather be "normal" than to be perfect. There's always that shady secret that the person carries. For Kagome, she's alone with no one, and that's scary!
Chitiko - M is a guy, it's a guy thing trust me -.-
Three-Legged Dog - don't feel offended, by all means I'm glad you brought that up so I could tweak the problem!
new reader - you gave me a big compliment, and I just have to hug you and say thanks!
lady-minh - I have plans for everyone! You will just have to wait and see ^_~
EEevee - I have nothing to say to you! I dislike Kikyo, FINE I hate her, and she will get what's coming to her, but I had to mellow out the scene, otherwise Kagome would have killed her, and I still have plans for the *cough* girl. I have plans even you haven't seen. FYI THIS IS MY BETA READER, and she kindly puts up with me and the madness! READ HER FICS! THEY ARE MUCH BETTER THAN MINE *receives the $20 payment for saying that* ^___^
and a big thanks to everyone else that said they loved it! And thank you all for NOT flaming my fragile psyche, I appreciate it! I should have another edition out by this weekend, depending if I get mega reviews or not! If I do, I'll post by Wed, and if not, then Fri/Sat. Please, don't flame me, but I will take constructive crit! That I can handle better.......not really.....
Warning: This might be a LITTLE OOC, so you are warned. I *tried* that's all I can do!
Chapter 5 - What are you thinking?
Sesshomaru walked upstairs and shut his bedroom door. He threw his bag on the floor, and flopped on his bed. He let out a sigh. This had to be the weirdest first day of school he ever had.
The only reason he was still in school was that he was upgrading. He technically graduated the year before, but he had to get a year of advanced courses so that he could get into the program at University.
He hadn't found out from anyone who the girl with Miroku was. He asked Inuyasha about it, but was told by him that Miroku had dumped them. Inuyasha had never even seen her face, or even heard of her before the rave.
She was a vision. She evoked a sensation in him he never felt before. He wanted her. He wanted her bad. 'I'll find her at the next rave. But the next rave is not for another three weeks.' He whined to himself. 'No point in dwelling in the past, I have the future to look forward to.'
He laughed. He remembered Kouga and Inuyasha fighting over the stupid initiation of some freshmen. He had stopped it before it got too far.
He couldn't believe that Ms. Kaede gave him a test on the first day. That test was hard. Then he couldn't believe that the new girl had finished it in record speed.
She was a vision. She didn't seem conceited. She showed the teacher a huge amount of respect. He recognized the language as Japanese, but couldn't catch what she was talking about. He heard the word 'Hojo', and knew that term sounded familiar, but he couldn't be sure from where.
Then he walked into his English class, and she was sitting there reading a book. She looked calm. She looked like a goddess. She looked a lot like Kikyo, but that's where the similarities ended.
Even he was amazed when she had handed in the assignment in English and he had just assigned it. He felt sorry for her too, when Williams humiliated her in front of the class. He remembered saying to himself, 'Williams is a fucking hard marker. I'll have to work my ass off in this class.' Then for the first time ever, he complimented Kagome.
She hadn't stayed long in the classes. He couldn't concentrate on his English book; his mind kept wandering back to her. She looked at him, just before she left. Her eyes sparkled. He could swear that she was on the verge of tears when she sat back down. For some reason it angered him at the thought of her crying.
Gym class had to be interesting. He hadn't seen her until he was outside. She was setting up the targets. She looked like a spirited warrior in her hakama. He wanted to take her hair out of the bun, and see what she looked like, but he restrained himself with great effort.
The best part was when she made Kikyo eat crow. She moved with such speed and grace, unlike Kikyo's sloppy jerkiness. Then again she entranced him like a siren and placed the blindfold over her beautiful eyes. He was shocked even more when she let arrows fly at a speed he's never seen before.
He was left speechless when she gave Kikyo her target. It probably wasn't her name, but it humbled Kikyo. 'I wonder what it means. I should ask her.'
He never even raised the bow, he watched her all class. She didn't even notice his piercing eyes on her. She was in the zone. He got like that when he was training. He let out a groan. 'She smoked me at lunch. I, Sesshomaru, am the second best in the world. I let Kagome make mince meat out of me in front of the whole class. But for some reason, the spirit she had when she was shooting was gone. He felt her spirit gone. He wanted to comfort her, but he spent the quick sparing session trying to block her.
'I've never seen anyone like her. She's so strong, and yet she's so weak. I have to find out what caused her pain, somehow I have to try to fix it.' Sesshomaru recalled telling himself.
Sesshomaru got up off his bed and turned on his stereo. Angry classical music filled his room. He crawled back on his bed and let the music lull him to sleep.
~*~*~*~*~*~*
He was woken up by his half brother jumping on him. "What do you want, Inuyasha?" His eyes were golden slits.
"Sess man. I had the best time!"
"How nice. And you woke me up for this?" He raised his eyebrows in disapproval.
"Aren't you going to ask me where I was?"
Sesshomaru looked extremely disinterested, but decided to humor his brother. "Fine, where were you?"
"I was at Kagome's house this whole time. It's so fucking cool there. I was tempted to sleep over there, fuck I want to live there!" Inuyasha finally flung himself beside his brother. "You'd love it there! She has a fucking dojo in her house. I looked at her trophies!" Inuyasha made a whistling sound. "Sess, this chick is better than both of us combined. Not only is she the best in archery, but also she's the best in fucking Japan for Kendo. Hey! You found that out the hard way didn't you?"
Sesshomaru remained silent. 'Sesshomaru wants to kill Inuyasha. If he continues on this path, I'm going to have to kick his ass. Why am I so possessive over someone that's not mine? I'm not being possessive; I'm protecting her from Inuyasha. He's a bad influence. If Kagome knew what was good for her, she'd run far away for Inuyasha. I'll make sure of it. I'll start tomorrow. Great.. it is normal to have a sane conversation with yourself? Now if I answer this question I'll have to declare myself insane. Stop it! Enough of this!'
"Besides, we have a date at lunch tomorrow." Inuyasha said interrupting his monologue.
"Really?" This perked his interests
"I told you she was cool. Man her house is huge too. She can cook too! I've eaten so much today, I think I'll fucking blow if I eat anymore."
Sesshomaru was getting annoyed. "Have you dropped by to see Kanna?"
"Fuck! I completely forgot about Kanna." Inuyasha jumped off the bed and bolted out of the room.
Sesshomaru shook his head. Chemistry class was a potential nightmare if Kagome had not been there. He smelt the gas, but he froze. He saw Kagome tell everyone to get down. 'She can be authoritative and assertive when need be. Everyone listened except for Inuyasha and Kanna.' He saw Kagome tackle Inuyasha to the ground. She tried to grab Kanna, but the girl recoiled from her touch.
Had she not been there, he would be in the hospital waiting for news on Inuyasha instead of lying on his bed contemplating Kagome. 'Does he even realize that if it wasn't for Kagome, he'd be dead. And Kagome goes and waits on him. He doesn't deserve to be in the same room with her.'
'I couldn't leave knowing she was trying to save Inuyasha and the teacher. Sango never once left. She helped escort others out, hell she was the one that pulled the fire alarm. I just stood there watching her. I was fucking helpless. I couldn't move when instinct told me to run, and I couldn't move when I saw her struggle against the flames. It was only when she called me by my name did she call me from death itself.'
Sesshomaru stood up and turned off the stereo. 'I should really apologize to Sango tomorrow. I think I scared the kid out of her mind.' After they got out of the school, and after a paramedic looked at her, he grabbed her and pinned her against the side of the ambulance and demanded for Sango to tell him the reason as to why Kagome was crying in the gym. At first she was reluctant, but he could be very persuading. He used his full strength, and will. Sango caved. She told him.
Now he understood. He felt her pain. She had no one. She was all alone. He wanted to run and hold her in his arms. He understood why it hurt her so much to spar against him, the fear, the realization of her past coming up to her. She was so strong. 'Gawd! I want to take her and wait a minute! What did she say to me at the start of Chem.?' He thought real hard, 'I'm sorry! What did she have to be sorry for? Oh she humiliated him in front of the class, that's right. She apologized.'
Pride soared in Sesshomaru. 'I'm going to make you happy Kagome, I can promise you that. If there is only one thing that I can do in my life, it's going to be to make you happy.'
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Everyone had left for the night and Kagome went up to her study. She pulled a file out of the drawer, and sat down to read it. It was a file that she read many times; when she felt alone. It contained everything that was left of her family: their death certificates, and various paperwork.
She sighed. She knew that she wasn't an ordinary girl; she was thought of as superhuman. She had to be. The world was cold, dark and bleak. She had to form herself around that.
It became her mission in life to be the best, and as a result the best is what she was. But she would give it all up in a heart beat.
She wanted nothing more than to be normal. She didn't want to be the coveted student, who excelled at everything she did. She was alone, and no one understood. She would rather have a loving family, rather than money and "friends". She wanted nothing more than to be the average struggling student looking to fit in.
She didn't want to be the freak of nature that was the best in everything. She found she was repulsed by herself at times. She hated herself for pushing too hard, but that was a fact of this reality. She couldn't change that. She tried.
She scoffed at the thought. 'I bought my friends. I paid for Miroku's happiness. That was selfish, but why shouldn't I be? When my family died, they left me with so much money; enough to buy a small country. What's a few thousand dollars compared to spending my time alone?
That's my greatest fear: being alone. No one knows the emptiness that I feel whenever I see Meg with Shippo and Miroku. I want something like that for me, but alas, I have reality to face. My family is dead.'
Kagome shifted through the papers and came across the last family photo they had taken together. Tears came to Kagome's eyes. Softly she whispered, "This was the last time we were happy together. This was the night before I went to Japan. There was no sorrow that night, no heart ache. We were all happy. Happy to the very core of our souls.
Now that's not going to happen again, at least not until I die and can be taken to you." She wiped the tears from her eyes, and carefully wipes away the tear stains from the picture. She quickly put the folder away, and suddenly felt tired. With a heavy sigh, she got up and switched off the light and went to sleep.
***************************
A/N: Please don't be mad with me, I still have no clue as to who I want the pairings to be! *starts tearing out hair* I know! I know! I should make up my mind, but I hope you like the suspense that's been my madness. I added this last part to some concerns that I got about Miroku being a user, and Kagome being a "supreme teenage version of wonder-woman." (hopefully you aren't offended) ^_~ so I had to work that out. FYI, my female characters are *ALWAYS* portrayed as being strong. I have this thing about weak female characters, I have an urge to either kill them off, or make them more into my image. X_X Plus there is always that ONE student who is good at everything; but you know what, I've been there and it's not pretty. I know from experience that I'd rather be "normal" than to be perfect. There's always that shady secret that the person carries. For Kagome, she's alone with no one, and that's scary!
Chitiko - M is a guy, it's a guy thing trust me -.-
Three-Legged Dog - don't feel offended, by all means I'm glad you brought that up so I could tweak the problem!
new reader - you gave me a big compliment, and I just have to hug you and say thanks!
lady-minh - I have plans for everyone! You will just have to wait and see ^_~
EEevee - I have nothing to say to you! I dislike Kikyo, FINE I hate her, and she will get what's coming to her, but I had to mellow out the scene, otherwise Kagome would have killed her, and I still have plans for the *cough* girl. I have plans even you haven't seen. FYI THIS IS MY BETA READER, and she kindly puts up with me and the madness! READ HER FICS! THEY ARE MUCH BETTER THAN MINE *receives the $20 payment for saying that* ^___^
and a big thanks to everyone else that said they loved it! And thank you all for NOT flaming my fragile psyche, I appreciate it! I should have another edition out by this weekend, depending if I get mega reviews or not! If I do, I'll post by Wed, and if not, then Fri/Sat. Please, don't flame me, but I will take constructive crit! That I can handle better.......not really.....