Chapter 22
"Hey Cass? It's Jason." He called to her as he came through the loft door carrying his sketchpad and backpack.
Cass jumped when she heard his voice. Her head spun around to see him. "How did you get in? I locked the door. I know I locked the door!"
Jason saw the look of panic cross her face and he could hear it in her voice. "Oh, um, I'm sorry Cass. I didn't mean to freak you out. It's just habit. I've got a key. I'm really sorry Cass." He could see her start to relax a little. "Just so you know, so does Collins. Actually, Jen might too, I'm not sure. I think she does have one to Maureen's thought. And she's got one to our place. And Maureen and Joanne have one for here too. And of course Benny's got one, but no one can help that." Cass was still just looking at him. "Well, um, how else would we ever get in? I mean it's not like either of them ever move all that fast to answer the door." He joked with her, trying to lighten up the mood and make her feel better. "I mean this is New York you know. It's only on 'Friends' that they leave their doors unlocked so just anyone can walk in."
"Good thing to know I guess." She said back at him. "Come on in. Just throw those papers on the floor." Cass was sitting on the couch with her laptop. It was plugged in and the phone wire ran across the floor to the phone. She had paper stacked and piled all along the couch next to her legs.
"Don't worry about it." He dropped the pad and backpack on the floor next to the chair and sat down. "What happened to all this stuff?" Jason picked up one of the many purple stained pages of paper.
"Wine. Good wine at that. A total waste." She said disgustedly. "It's all stuff from Italy. It got here yesterday."
"Oh." Jason was sorry he had asked.
"So what are you doing here in the middle of the afternoon?"
"Oh you know, I was on my way home from work. My classes end early on Thursdays. Just thought I'd come by and hang out. Collins won't make it home on Thursdays till at least eight or so this term."
"Uh huh." She looked at him. "Well you just missed Roger. He left about twenty minutes ago."
"Yeah I figured that."
"And Mark won't be home till about six or seven he said."
"Yeah, he told me." Cass had been watching him. At that last comment her eyebrows went up as she sort of nodded her head while listening to him. Jason was getting a bad gut feeling.
"I've had the phone tied up with the computer for hours. Did Mark call you?"
"Oh no, I," he was about to say Roger told me yesterday when we talked but he realized she was trying to find out why he was there and quickly changed his direction. "I just thought I'd come by and say hi to everybody." Jason managed a weak smile. If Mark was right and she could smell fear and lies she'd be all over him in a minute or so.
"Uh huh. So." Cass looked at him suspiciously and sort of sized him up.
"So, um, hi."
"Right. Well let's see, Roger's gone, but only just. And Mark won't be home for a few more hours, conveniently not till a time closer to when both Jen or Collins would be coming home. So that makes me wonder what you are doing here Jason?"
"Like I said, just to say hi."
"Bullshit. They sent you to check up on me."
"No, really. I just came by to check, I mean see if, well I just didn't have anything else to do." He knew he was screwed. He lied almost as badly as Mark and he knew it.
"In other words, you're supposed to be babysitting me."
"No, not at all. Just sort of making sure you, or well everything is, well, you know."
"Give it up. They sent you over to babysit me!"
"Well, not really. It's just that they didn't want, I mean you'd be here alone and well," Cass gave him another look and he knew it was over. Save yourself Sumner, Roger and Mark were on their own with this one. "Okay, yes. I'm supposed to babysit. Just till Mark gets home. They didn't want to leave you alone. Don't kill me, I'm just the messenger. It was their idea."
"What am I eight? They think I can't take care of myself? I've been taking care of myself since I was about eight! Even then I didn't need a babysitter!" She was definitely annoyed.
"No, it's not that at all Cass."
"I can take care of myself fine thank you! Okay, maybe not as well as I obviously thought, but fine, none the less. No matter how it looks to anyone! I can't believe them. They don't trust me to sit in this dump by myself? Is that it? They don't trust me? They think I can't handle a few hours alone or something? I'm fine! I can take care of myself just fine thank you!"
Cass never realized she had started yelling at Jason. She was trying to unplug the laptop and move it and the cord, all around the paper piles, while sitting up. The splints on her cast caught the phone cord and when she moved her hand back a pile of papers fell off the couch. As she moved to get those, another pile stuck to her leg and then fell off as well.
Jason got up to help her. He handed her the first few papers that had slid the farthest across the floor. She ripped them out of his hand. As she went to take the next pages, he caught her left hand and held it. "Cass, it's not that. It's not that at all. They're just worried about you. That's all. They're just real worried about you. I mean you've had a really rough week. They're just worried." He told her softly.
She didn't say anything to him after that. She just sat on the couch for the next few minutes. Not looking at Jason. Just straitening and restraining and organizing and reorganizing the wine stained papers.
"They need to just relax, you know? I'm fine. Everybody needs to just stop getting all excited about things, I'm fine." She finally told him, but she was still playing with the papers.
"All I'm saying is that you've had a really rough week. No one thinks you can't take care of yourself. I mean you managed in one day to make it half way around the world, half-blind. Not to mention across New York, with a backpack, a computer, a broken arm and busted ribs. Anybody else would have given up on all that before they ever made it into the Italian airport! Plus, after all that, in front of three complete strangers, you managed to completely put Roger Davis in his place! Believe me what you did to Roger alone that day proves you can take care of yourself. They are just worried about you."
"Well I wish they would stop worrying about me. I'm fine."
"Will you just let them worry if they want." He pleaded with her. "Just let them take care of you a little. For awhile at least."
"Why?" She was getting defensive again. "I told you, I'm fine."
"Damn it, then just let them do it for us. For me and Collins. If not then do it for Mark already."
"Mark is already worrying over the rest of the world, he doesn't need to bother with me!"
"We aren't really talking about Mark!" Jason got louder then he meant to and brought his voice back down. "You want me to say it, then fine, I will. Do it for Roger. Okay! Because since you got here he's gotten his ass off the couch. Yeah, that's pretty much it. Since you got here it is really been the first time since Mimi died that he's, well, done anything!"
Jason was getting frustrated, and he felt like he was walking on areas he wasn't really supposed to be walking on. "Look Cass," he said softening his voice. "All I'm saying is that when Roger lost Mimi, he sort of lost the will to live for anything. He sat on this couch day after day just waiting to die. And the person that was hurting the most wasn't even Roger, it was Mark. And watching that was eating away at everyone else.
"Since you've been here, it's like he's sort of got a purpose in life again. Like a reason to live. This last week he's had something to do, something where somebody needed him. I guess that kind of made him feel a little worthwhile. I don't think he's had a lot of that in his life. Except with Mimi. And of course Mark.
"And if you ask either one of them, they'll deny it, but I really think that there is only one thing that scares Roger more than dying of AIDS, and that's dying and letting down Mark. And up until a week ago, he was sort of just sitting and wallowing in that fear. Living in it and waiting for it to happen, because letting down Mark like that was inevitable to him. And I think he hated himself for that. Since you've been around, he's been different. Better. See?"
She silently nodded at him.
"And I hate to tell you this, but you're not fine. There is no humanly way possible that you could be fine after everything you've been through in the last week. And there's nothing wrong with that. Hell, if you actually were fine, I'd think that was odd. All they want is to make sure you're okay. Will you just let them do it. Please?"
She kept fixing all the papers. "They are so strange you know?" She finally said to him softly. "I mean, to just look at them, you almost have to wonder how they are even friends." Jason nodded as she kept talking. "They just seem so different, but they aren't. They are really so much alike it's not even funny."
"Yeah, I kinda know what you mean."
Cass kept straightening the paper piles. After a minute or two and without even looking at him she spoke again. "I know you're right. I guess I keep trying to convince myself you know, more so than anyone else. Not that anyone else seems to believe me."
Jason just listened to her.
"It's like the more I keep telling myself and everyone that it's all okay, no problems, that I'm fine, the more I think I'll actually believe it next time." She looked up at him. "That's never going to work thought will it? It's never gonna be fine again. At least not in relation to the past week."
Jason shook his head. "No it's not Cass. It'll get better, but it will never just go away."
"Roger's making me go see some girl he knows. Well, I guess not making me. He asked me to go. I said I would if he went with me."
"Elizabeth. She's real nice. You'll like her."
"That's what he said."
"I'm glad you're going to see her." Jason said. "Going there like that might work. Especially with you." He nodded as he finished those last two sentences, more to himself than to Cass.
"What?"
"Oh, sorry, I was just sort of thinking out loud. It's just that Life Support isn't exactly Roger's favorite place in the world. And the more people tried to get him there, the harder he fought. Especially after Mimi. He would go with her, for her, but after, when he could have used it the most, no way. Taking you there to see Elizabeth may be what he needs to get him in the door. Maybe we can keep him there awhile then."
*******
"Iguana." The voice said into the phone.
"Is Roger there? I need to talk to him."
"Yeah, he's here, but they're rehearsing. Hang on they're finishing the song right now." He set the phone down on the counter. "Yo, Davis, you got a phone call."
"Who is it?" Roger called back.
"Do I look like your social secretary?"
"Is it a girl or a guy?" Roger asked as he walked to the bar.
"Guy. You gonna be a few minutes? I need Izzy for something."
"Yeah whatever, take him." Roger said as he picked up the phone. "What's wrong Mark? She okay?"
"How did you know it was me? Nevermind. I was calling to ask you that. Actually I've been calling for hours and the phones been busy. What's gong on? Is everything okay? Is Jason there?"
"She's fine. She's been on her computer like all day. And Jason should be there by now."
"What do you mean should be? You didn't wait for him? Do you think leaving her alone is such a great idea?"
"Well I didn't have much choice, I had to leave before he could get there. And we've going to have to leave her alone someday. Besides if the phone's still busy then she's still on the computer. I mean if anything was wrong Jason would have called here. You did."
"Yeah, I guess you're right. She's okay though, after last night? What happened today?"
"Yeah, she was okay. A little hung over I think, but said she was fine. Big surprise there huh? She was looking for the pain killers though."
"What did you tell her?"
"That I thought they were gone and I gave her two Tylenol."
"Good. She say anything about last night?"
"Not much. She opened up that other box though. It had a computer harddrive in it, all wrapped up in a blanket with some hiking boots, a few more clothes and like ten bottles of wine."
"Yeah, she like her wine. What did you guys do today?"
"By the time I got up, not much. She did say something about going shopping which is good I guess. I told her I'd get dressed and take her wherever. She must have realized I wasn't all that excited about that idea ten minutes after I got up because she just laughed and told me I just didn't get it. I don't know. I'll take her wherever she wants to go tomorrow. Other than that, she was just on that computer pretty much all day. But, she did call her dad though.
"She called Carlton? Did she talk to him? What happened? Was she okay?"
"She was pissed more than anything. I mean I was trying not to obviously be listening to the whole thing. As far as I could tell it was just business stuff. That's all I heard, or at least understood. She said a bunch of it in French, but it didn't seem like they were getting into a conversation about everything."
"Well what did she say in French?" Mark was getting excited and it was coming through in his voice.
"How the hell would I know Mark?"
"Well you took like three years of French in high school."
"First off, that was how many years ago? And secondly, high school, hello, drug induced haze for most of it, dah. I'm glad you remember I took French, because I don't." Roger was getting annoyed.
"Okay, okay, I'm sorry. I forgot. But what did you understand her say to Carlton?"
"She told him she was staying in New York."
"What'd he say?"
"I don't know Mark, I couldn't hear that end of it. She told him she was staying here and she'd keep working, but she'll only do research, she won't do anymore locations. Whatever that means."
"It means traveling to business sites like Italy was." Mark explained to him. "Anything else?"
"Yeah, they got into a fight over her friend Giavanna. You know Cass wants to give her six months severance pay. And I bet that girl makes some damn good money to begin with. But anyway, that's when she started in French, but I could tell they were arguing. It sounded like Giavanna was going to get it."
"That doesn't surprise me at all. She really liked Giavanna. Plus she takes pretty good care of the people that work for her I think. Anything else?"
"Yeah, she did kinda lay down the law in the end about her uncle and that bastard Anton."
"What do you mean?"
"She told him flat out, right in front of me, that he needs to remember that just because she's still working in the company doesn't mean everything is all right between all of them. That right now everything is purely a business relationship. Period.
"Then she told him she doesn't want to have to talk to Andre. Ever. That if he needs something, let him email her. And she told Carlton that he better tell Andre to keep that bastard out of New York. Actually, the whole east coast, or anywhere else she is. Or else. She sort of reminded him that he taught her everything she knows and she doesn't give a damn about their precious little family business anymore."
"And she was okay during all this?" Mark was still worried.
"Like I said, pissed more than anything. But I think she's okay. She made a few more calls, but those were mainly in French so I think they were business calls too."
"Well I guess that's good. I don't know. She say any more about going to see Elizabeth?"
"Not really. I said something about going Friday night. Maybe get some dinner and then go and she seemed okay with that. I'm gonna take her to get new glasses first thought. Those places do it in a day right?"
"Yeah, they should I guess. That's a good idea. Maybe she won't mind going out as much if she can see. You think you're going to have any problems getting her out tomorrow?"
"For her glasses, no. She's ready to be able to see. For dinner and Elizabeth, she may not be as eager, but nothing like the other day. She promised she'd go if I went with her and I promised no fights. The last thing I want is to do anything like that again." Roger touched his black eye as he said that.
"Yeah, me too." Mark could hear Izzy in the background yelling.
"Yo Davis, you planning on playing or talking to your girlfriend all day? After all the crap you gave me when you got here, you better hurry up. You're the one that wants to change all this stuff."
"I'm coming Iz, chill." Roger yelled to him before turning his attention back to the phone. "Mark I gotta go. Call me if you need anything. What time are you gonna be done?"
"Hopefully by around five, but definitely by seven. That's what you told Jason right? What time are you gonna be home tonight?" Mark asked.
"Probably around three. Depends on how trashed this place is. But I'll try and be quiet. See ya." With that Roger hung up the phone.
******
Cass and Jason had called a truce shortly after the conversation about Roger. She had told him if he was going to baby sit he might as well either get comfortable or be useful and make more coffee.
"That's it, I've had it with this mess." Cass said as she started moving the paper stacks into one big pile. "It's quitting time. If not here, then somewhere in the world." She dropped the pile onto the floor and started to unplug the laptop from the phone wire.
"I try to leave all the nosey stuff to my sister, but what have you been doing the last three hours?" Jason asked her.
"Trying to organize a huge mess." She pointed at the papers. "Between work stuff and personal stuff, not to mention missing pages and wine stains, it has not been easy. Plus it takes me three times as long to type anything with this stupid cast."
"So what are you going to do now?" Jason asked her.
"Get more coffee and see if Roger left any Oreo's. Want some?" She asked as she got up and walked to the kitchen.
"No thanks, but I meant work wise. What are you going to do?"
"Well, keep working sort of. I mean most of what I do is computer based so I can pretty much do it anywhere. Before when I traveled, it was to save the step of going through everything we dug up through the computer. And get the feel of wherever we were. But I'm not going to do that anymore." She looked at the papers and laptop. "Granted all that means somethings are going to change."
"What do you mean?"
"Well, for one thing, Giavanna, my friend in Italy, is sort of out of a job. She was basically my assistant. But she's getting taken care of and can get something else easy enough. The big changes are the way we are going to have to run my department. Mainly, with me here and everyone else, anywhere but here."
"Can you do that?"
"Well first off, it's my department. Secondly, at this moment I don't thing I'll get much argument from my 'bosses' if you know what I mean. And thirdly, this is the technological age Jason, with a satellite hook up and some extra battery packs, I could do that on a deserted island near Bora Bora." She laughed at him.
"Yeah well, I'm not all that up on technology I guess. I'm still a pencil and paper type of guy." He held up his sketchpad and pencil.
"What exactly have you been doing in that thing all afternoon?"
"Well, I'm supposed to be working on lesson plans for my new art class, but that fizzled while ago. The last hour, I've just been sketching you."
"Me?"
"Uh huh." He held up the pad for her to see. "It's good practice. Sometimes in the spring I go to Central Park and do portraits for extra money. They aren't as detailed at this one, and you have to be quick, but you get the idea."
"Wow, that's pretty good."
"It's a living." He shrugged as the front door opened.
"I'm home." Mark called as he came through the door carrying his camera, a bag and his backpack.
"Hey Marky. You're home early."
"Hey Mark." Jason said from the chair.
"Yeah, I skipped lunch and finished early. I'm starved though. Any chance you thought about dinner?" He asked her.
"Um, sure." She held out the package of Oreo's to him. Mark just gave her a look. "Any other options?"
"Hey it worked for Roger last night." She told him.
"Yeah well, have you seen some of the things Roger calls meals yet?" Jason laughed from the living room.
"Okay, we can order in." Cass said. "How about pizza? Isn't that the tradition meal babysitters order?" She glared at him.
"Um, what do you mean Cass?" Mark looked to Jason.
"Sorry buddy. I jumped ship a few hours ago to save my own ass. You and Roger are on your own on this one." Jason laughed at him from behind his sketchpad.
"Well, um," Mark stuttered.
"Forget it. But don't do it again."
"Sorry. We just didn't want you to have to stay here alone is all."
"It's okay. How was your shoot today?"
"Surprisingly productive. I've got to drop all the film off to be developed tomorrow. How about you guys?"
"Thursday afternoon, Art I, freshman who think it's any easy A and desperate seniors needing one more elective to graduate. Both unproductive and unexciting." Jason told him.
"Well, mine was also unproductive." Cass gestured at the pile of papers, however it did have it's exciting moments." She grinned.
"Yeah I heard you called Carlton." Mark said.
"You heard huh?" She looked at Jason. "Well, yes I did talk to him. And that actually went quite well. Probably because I did most of the talking. I told him I was staying in New York and I was gong to keep working, but I set some ground rules."
"And he's okay with all that?"
"Honestly I don't give a damn if he's okay with that or not, and I told him so."
"Well I guess that qualifies as excitement." Mark said.
"Oh that's not the exciting part." She told them. "The exciting part was when I went shopping." She smiled.
"Yeah Roger said you wanted to go shopping but he said you never went anywhere. That he would take you shopping tomorrow."
Cass laughed as she shook her head and rolled her eyes. "Roger's so cute in a 1980's sort of way!" Mark and Jason just looked at each other. "Sweetie it's the internet age. I went shopping from the couch."
"Oh." Mark told her as he opened a soda from the fridge. "Our couch huh?"
"Yep. Probably the most excitement that couch has ever seen! At least that kind of excitement! I mean how often does anybody spend six thousand dollars in an hour on your couch?" She laughed.
"Six thousand dollars!" Mark choked on his soda.
"In an hour?" Jason asked wide-eyed. "What the hell did you buy?"
"Well, some work stuff. I needed some more computer equipment, plus a desk." Cass wished she hadn't told them how much money she had spent.
"You spent six thousand dollars in an hour? On computer stuff? Wow." Mark had to sit down n the barstool.
"Well no, not all on computer stuff. I got some stuff for the apartment too. Like a new AC, plus a coffeemaker, a microwave and some other stuff." Cass said in an embarrassed voice. "And I got some clothes too." She looked at the ground.
"Wow all that, over the internet, and for only six thousand dollars. I'm definitely in the wrong business." Jason shook his head.
"No." Cass said quietly. "The six thousand didn't include the clothes. That was another twenty five hundred."
"Eighty-five hundred dollars? In one day. Eighty-five hundred dollars." Mark was getting pale and just kept repeating that.
"Mark it's no big deal. It's all a business expense. Don't get mad. I'm sorry."
"I'm not mad Cass. Blown away, but not mad. Are you sure you want to do all this? Take money from them?"
"Yes. It was stuff I needed, for work. And for living you know. Think of it as relocation expenses. Okay? If I worked for anybody else, I would get relocation money. This is business, that's all. I don't want their money. But I'll take what I'm owed. And this is business. As far as I'm concerned, that's all that's left, business. Nothing personal between any of us, just business."
"Okay Cass, if you're sure." Mark told her. He could tell she was upset, but keeping it all under control.
"Can I ask a question?" Jason said. "I mean, I don't mean to be nosey, like I said I usually leave that to Jen, but it's about something your father said the other day."
Cass nodded at him.
"Well that day he was here, he was saying to tell you to use your credit cards for whatever you need. He also said to tell you to use your fun, not give it away again this year. What did he mean? What's a fun?"
Cass laughed a little realizing Carlton did have a slight accent when he spoke. "He didn't say fun, he said fund. My trust fund."
"Oh, of course. I should have known that." Jason said, shaking his head.
"It's from my mom and my grandparents. When I turned twenty-one I got access to it, but I've never needed it. I made more than enough money working. So every year I gave the interest and a good chunk of that year's allotment to charity."
"Look Cass, I know we were joking about you paying for dinner last night and all, but I don't want you to think we, me and Roger, want you to stay here to keep us from starving or anything. I mean we want you to stay, but not because of that. You know?"
"I know Marky. It's okay. Look, I've got it, will you let me use it. Besides I told you I usually give a chunk of it to charity. Jason have you ever seen a place more in need of a little charity than this place?" She smiled at him. "Okay Marky? Just let me do this. Please?"
"Whatever you want Cass. Whatever you want."
"Hey Cass? It's Jason." He called to her as he came through the loft door carrying his sketchpad and backpack.
Cass jumped when she heard his voice. Her head spun around to see him. "How did you get in? I locked the door. I know I locked the door!"
Jason saw the look of panic cross her face and he could hear it in her voice. "Oh, um, I'm sorry Cass. I didn't mean to freak you out. It's just habit. I've got a key. I'm really sorry Cass." He could see her start to relax a little. "Just so you know, so does Collins. Actually, Jen might too, I'm not sure. I think she does have one to Maureen's thought. And she's got one to our place. And Maureen and Joanne have one for here too. And of course Benny's got one, but no one can help that." Cass was still just looking at him. "Well, um, how else would we ever get in? I mean it's not like either of them ever move all that fast to answer the door." He joked with her, trying to lighten up the mood and make her feel better. "I mean this is New York you know. It's only on 'Friends' that they leave their doors unlocked so just anyone can walk in."
"Good thing to know I guess." She said back at him. "Come on in. Just throw those papers on the floor." Cass was sitting on the couch with her laptop. It was plugged in and the phone wire ran across the floor to the phone. She had paper stacked and piled all along the couch next to her legs.
"Don't worry about it." He dropped the pad and backpack on the floor next to the chair and sat down. "What happened to all this stuff?" Jason picked up one of the many purple stained pages of paper.
"Wine. Good wine at that. A total waste." She said disgustedly. "It's all stuff from Italy. It got here yesterday."
"Oh." Jason was sorry he had asked.
"So what are you doing here in the middle of the afternoon?"
"Oh you know, I was on my way home from work. My classes end early on Thursdays. Just thought I'd come by and hang out. Collins won't make it home on Thursdays till at least eight or so this term."
"Uh huh." She looked at him. "Well you just missed Roger. He left about twenty minutes ago."
"Yeah I figured that."
"And Mark won't be home till about six or seven he said."
"Yeah, he told me." Cass had been watching him. At that last comment her eyebrows went up as she sort of nodded her head while listening to him. Jason was getting a bad gut feeling.
"I've had the phone tied up with the computer for hours. Did Mark call you?"
"Oh no, I," he was about to say Roger told me yesterday when we talked but he realized she was trying to find out why he was there and quickly changed his direction. "I just thought I'd come by and say hi to everybody." Jason managed a weak smile. If Mark was right and she could smell fear and lies she'd be all over him in a minute or so.
"Uh huh. So." Cass looked at him suspiciously and sort of sized him up.
"So, um, hi."
"Right. Well let's see, Roger's gone, but only just. And Mark won't be home for a few more hours, conveniently not till a time closer to when both Jen or Collins would be coming home. So that makes me wonder what you are doing here Jason?"
"Like I said, just to say hi."
"Bullshit. They sent you to check up on me."
"No, really. I just came by to check, I mean see if, well I just didn't have anything else to do." He knew he was screwed. He lied almost as badly as Mark and he knew it.
"In other words, you're supposed to be babysitting me."
"No, not at all. Just sort of making sure you, or well everything is, well, you know."
"Give it up. They sent you over to babysit me!"
"Well, not really. It's just that they didn't want, I mean you'd be here alone and well," Cass gave him another look and he knew it was over. Save yourself Sumner, Roger and Mark were on their own with this one. "Okay, yes. I'm supposed to babysit. Just till Mark gets home. They didn't want to leave you alone. Don't kill me, I'm just the messenger. It was their idea."
"What am I eight? They think I can't take care of myself? I've been taking care of myself since I was about eight! Even then I didn't need a babysitter!" She was definitely annoyed.
"No, it's not that at all Cass."
"I can take care of myself fine thank you! Okay, maybe not as well as I obviously thought, but fine, none the less. No matter how it looks to anyone! I can't believe them. They don't trust me to sit in this dump by myself? Is that it? They don't trust me? They think I can't handle a few hours alone or something? I'm fine! I can take care of myself just fine thank you!"
Cass never realized she had started yelling at Jason. She was trying to unplug the laptop and move it and the cord, all around the paper piles, while sitting up. The splints on her cast caught the phone cord and when she moved her hand back a pile of papers fell off the couch. As she moved to get those, another pile stuck to her leg and then fell off as well.
Jason got up to help her. He handed her the first few papers that had slid the farthest across the floor. She ripped them out of his hand. As she went to take the next pages, he caught her left hand and held it. "Cass, it's not that. It's not that at all. They're just worried about you. That's all. They're just real worried about you. I mean you've had a really rough week. They're just worried." He told her softly.
She didn't say anything to him after that. She just sat on the couch for the next few minutes. Not looking at Jason. Just straitening and restraining and organizing and reorganizing the wine stained papers.
"They need to just relax, you know? I'm fine. Everybody needs to just stop getting all excited about things, I'm fine." She finally told him, but she was still playing with the papers.
"All I'm saying is that you've had a really rough week. No one thinks you can't take care of yourself. I mean you managed in one day to make it half way around the world, half-blind. Not to mention across New York, with a backpack, a computer, a broken arm and busted ribs. Anybody else would have given up on all that before they ever made it into the Italian airport! Plus, after all that, in front of three complete strangers, you managed to completely put Roger Davis in his place! Believe me what you did to Roger alone that day proves you can take care of yourself. They are just worried about you."
"Well I wish they would stop worrying about me. I'm fine."
"Will you just let them worry if they want." He pleaded with her. "Just let them take care of you a little. For awhile at least."
"Why?" She was getting defensive again. "I told you, I'm fine."
"Damn it, then just let them do it for us. For me and Collins. If not then do it for Mark already."
"Mark is already worrying over the rest of the world, he doesn't need to bother with me!"
"We aren't really talking about Mark!" Jason got louder then he meant to and brought his voice back down. "You want me to say it, then fine, I will. Do it for Roger. Okay! Because since you got here he's gotten his ass off the couch. Yeah, that's pretty much it. Since you got here it is really been the first time since Mimi died that he's, well, done anything!"
Jason was getting frustrated, and he felt like he was walking on areas he wasn't really supposed to be walking on. "Look Cass," he said softening his voice. "All I'm saying is that when Roger lost Mimi, he sort of lost the will to live for anything. He sat on this couch day after day just waiting to die. And the person that was hurting the most wasn't even Roger, it was Mark. And watching that was eating away at everyone else.
"Since you've been here, it's like he's sort of got a purpose in life again. Like a reason to live. This last week he's had something to do, something where somebody needed him. I guess that kind of made him feel a little worthwhile. I don't think he's had a lot of that in his life. Except with Mimi. And of course Mark.
"And if you ask either one of them, they'll deny it, but I really think that there is only one thing that scares Roger more than dying of AIDS, and that's dying and letting down Mark. And up until a week ago, he was sort of just sitting and wallowing in that fear. Living in it and waiting for it to happen, because letting down Mark like that was inevitable to him. And I think he hated himself for that. Since you've been around, he's been different. Better. See?"
She silently nodded at him.
"And I hate to tell you this, but you're not fine. There is no humanly way possible that you could be fine after everything you've been through in the last week. And there's nothing wrong with that. Hell, if you actually were fine, I'd think that was odd. All they want is to make sure you're okay. Will you just let them do it. Please?"
She kept fixing all the papers. "They are so strange you know?" She finally said to him softly. "I mean, to just look at them, you almost have to wonder how they are even friends." Jason nodded as she kept talking. "They just seem so different, but they aren't. They are really so much alike it's not even funny."
"Yeah, I kinda know what you mean."
Cass kept straightening the paper piles. After a minute or two and without even looking at him she spoke again. "I know you're right. I guess I keep trying to convince myself you know, more so than anyone else. Not that anyone else seems to believe me."
Jason just listened to her.
"It's like the more I keep telling myself and everyone that it's all okay, no problems, that I'm fine, the more I think I'll actually believe it next time." She looked up at him. "That's never going to work thought will it? It's never gonna be fine again. At least not in relation to the past week."
Jason shook his head. "No it's not Cass. It'll get better, but it will never just go away."
"Roger's making me go see some girl he knows. Well, I guess not making me. He asked me to go. I said I would if he went with me."
"Elizabeth. She's real nice. You'll like her."
"That's what he said."
"I'm glad you're going to see her." Jason said. "Going there like that might work. Especially with you." He nodded as he finished those last two sentences, more to himself than to Cass.
"What?"
"Oh, sorry, I was just sort of thinking out loud. It's just that Life Support isn't exactly Roger's favorite place in the world. And the more people tried to get him there, the harder he fought. Especially after Mimi. He would go with her, for her, but after, when he could have used it the most, no way. Taking you there to see Elizabeth may be what he needs to get him in the door. Maybe we can keep him there awhile then."
*******
"Iguana." The voice said into the phone.
"Is Roger there? I need to talk to him."
"Yeah, he's here, but they're rehearsing. Hang on they're finishing the song right now." He set the phone down on the counter. "Yo, Davis, you got a phone call."
"Who is it?" Roger called back.
"Do I look like your social secretary?"
"Is it a girl or a guy?" Roger asked as he walked to the bar.
"Guy. You gonna be a few minutes? I need Izzy for something."
"Yeah whatever, take him." Roger said as he picked up the phone. "What's wrong Mark? She okay?"
"How did you know it was me? Nevermind. I was calling to ask you that. Actually I've been calling for hours and the phones been busy. What's gong on? Is everything okay? Is Jason there?"
"She's fine. She's been on her computer like all day. And Jason should be there by now."
"What do you mean should be? You didn't wait for him? Do you think leaving her alone is such a great idea?"
"Well I didn't have much choice, I had to leave before he could get there. And we've going to have to leave her alone someday. Besides if the phone's still busy then she's still on the computer. I mean if anything was wrong Jason would have called here. You did."
"Yeah, I guess you're right. She's okay though, after last night? What happened today?"
"Yeah, she was okay. A little hung over I think, but said she was fine. Big surprise there huh? She was looking for the pain killers though."
"What did you tell her?"
"That I thought they were gone and I gave her two Tylenol."
"Good. She say anything about last night?"
"Not much. She opened up that other box though. It had a computer harddrive in it, all wrapped up in a blanket with some hiking boots, a few more clothes and like ten bottles of wine."
"Yeah, she like her wine. What did you guys do today?"
"By the time I got up, not much. She did say something about going shopping which is good I guess. I told her I'd get dressed and take her wherever. She must have realized I wasn't all that excited about that idea ten minutes after I got up because she just laughed and told me I just didn't get it. I don't know. I'll take her wherever she wants to go tomorrow. Other than that, she was just on that computer pretty much all day. But, she did call her dad though.
"She called Carlton? Did she talk to him? What happened? Was she okay?"
"She was pissed more than anything. I mean I was trying not to obviously be listening to the whole thing. As far as I could tell it was just business stuff. That's all I heard, or at least understood. She said a bunch of it in French, but it didn't seem like they were getting into a conversation about everything."
"Well what did she say in French?" Mark was getting excited and it was coming through in his voice.
"How the hell would I know Mark?"
"Well you took like three years of French in high school."
"First off, that was how many years ago? And secondly, high school, hello, drug induced haze for most of it, dah. I'm glad you remember I took French, because I don't." Roger was getting annoyed.
"Okay, okay, I'm sorry. I forgot. But what did you understand her say to Carlton?"
"She told him she was staying in New York."
"What'd he say?"
"I don't know Mark, I couldn't hear that end of it. She told him she was staying here and she'd keep working, but she'll only do research, she won't do anymore locations. Whatever that means."
"It means traveling to business sites like Italy was." Mark explained to him. "Anything else?"
"Yeah, they got into a fight over her friend Giavanna. You know Cass wants to give her six months severance pay. And I bet that girl makes some damn good money to begin with. But anyway, that's when she started in French, but I could tell they were arguing. It sounded like Giavanna was going to get it."
"That doesn't surprise me at all. She really liked Giavanna. Plus she takes pretty good care of the people that work for her I think. Anything else?"
"Yeah, she did kinda lay down the law in the end about her uncle and that bastard Anton."
"What do you mean?"
"She told him flat out, right in front of me, that he needs to remember that just because she's still working in the company doesn't mean everything is all right between all of them. That right now everything is purely a business relationship. Period.
"Then she told him she doesn't want to have to talk to Andre. Ever. That if he needs something, let him email her. And she told Carlton that he better tell Andre to keep that bastard out of New York. Actually, the whole east coast, or anywhere else she is. Or else. She sort of reminded him that he taught her everything she knows and she doesn't give a damn about their precious little family business anymore."
"And she was okay during all this?" Mark was still worried.
"Like I said, pissed more than anything. But I think she's okay. She made a few more calls, but those were mainly in French so I think they were business calls too."
"Well I guess that's good. I don't know. She say any more about going to see Elizabeth?"
"Not really. I said something about going Friday night. Maybe get some dinner and then go and she seemed okay with that. I'm gonna take her to get new glasses first thought. Those places do it in a day right?"
"Yeah, they should I guess. That's a good idea. Maybe she won't mind going out as much if she can see. You think you're going to have any problems getting her out tomorrow?"
"For her glasses, no. She's ready to be able to see. For dinner and Elizabeth, she may not be as eager, but nothing like the other day. She promised she'd go if I went with her and I promised no fights. The last thing I want is to do anything like that again." Roger touched his black eye as he said that.
"Yeah, me too." Mark could hear Izzy in the background yelling.
"Yo Davis, you planning on playing or talking to your girlfriend all day? After all the crap you gave me when you got here, you better hurry up. You're the one that wants to change all this stuff."
"I'm coming Iz, chill." Roger yelled to him before turning his attention back to the phone. "Mark I gotta go. Call me if you need anything. What time are you gonna be done?"
"Hopefully by around five, but definitely by seven. That's what you told Jason right? What time are you gonna be home tonight?" Mark asked.
"Probably around three. Depends on how trashed this place is. But I'll try and be quiet. See ya." With that Roger hung up the phone.
******
Cass and Jason had called a truce shortly after the conversation about Roger. She had told him if he was going to baby sit he might as well either get comfortable or be useful and make more coffee.
"That's it, I've had it with this mess." Cass said as she started moving the paper stacks into one big pile. "It's quitting time. If not here, then somewhere in the world." She dropped the pile onto the floor and started to unplug the laptop from the phone wire.
"I try to leave all the nosey stuff to my sister, but what have you been doing the last three hours?" Jason asked her.
"Trying to organize a huge mess." She pointed at the papers. "Between work stuff and personal stuff, not to mention missing pages and wine stains, it has not been easy. Plus it takes me three times as long to type anything with this stupid cast."
"So what are you going to do now?" Jason asked her.
"Get more coffee and see if Roger left any Oreo's. Want some?" She asked as she got up and walked to the kitchen.
"No thanks, but I meant work wise. What are you going to do?"
"Well, keep working sort of. I mean most of what I do is computer based so I can pretty much do it anywhere. Before when I traveled, it was to save the step of going through everything we dug up through the computer. And get the feel of wherever we were. But I'm not going to do that anymore." She looked at the papers and laptop. "Granted all that means somethings are going to change."
"What do you mean?"
"Well, for one thing, Giavanna, my friend in Italy, is sort of out of a job. She was basically my assistant. But she's getting taken care of and can get something else easy enough. The big changes are the way we are going to have to run my department. Mainly, with me here and everyone else, anywhere but here."
"Can you do that?"
"Well first off, it's my department. Secondly, at this moment I don't thing I'll get much argument from my 'bosses' if you know what I mean. And thirdly, this is the technological age Jason, with a satellite hook up and some extra battery packs, I could do that on a deserted island near Bora Bora." She laughed at him.
"Yeah well, I'm not all that up on technology I guess. I'm still a pencil and paper type of guy." He held up his sketchpad and pencil.
"What exactly have you been doing in that thing all afternoon?"
"Well, I'm supposed to be working on lesson plans for my new art class, but that fizzled while ago. The last hour, I've just been sketching you."
"Me?"
"Uh huh." He held up the pad for her to see. "It's good practice. Sometimes in the spring I go to Central Park and do portraits for extra money. They aren't as detailed at this one, and you have to be quick, but you get the idea."
"Wow, that's pretty good."
"It's a living." He shrugged as the front door opened.
"I'm home." Mark called as he came through the door carrying his camera, a bag and his backpack.
"Hey Marky. You're home early."
"Hey Mark." Jason said from the chair.
"Yeah, I skipped lunch and finished early. I'm starved though. Any chance you thought about dinner?" He asked her.
"Um, sure." She held out the package of Oreo's to him. Mark just gave her a look. "Any other options?"
"Hey it worked for Roger last night." She told him.
"Yeah well, have you seen some of the things Roger calls meals yet?" Jason laughed from the living room.
"Okay, we can order in." Cass said. "How about pizza? Isn't that the tradition meal babysitters order?" She glared at him.
"Um, what do you mean Cass?" Mark looked to Jason.
"Sorry buddy. I jumped ship a few hours ago to save my own ass. You and Roger are on your own on this one." Jason laughed at him from behind his sketchpad.
"Well, um," Mark stuttered.
"Forget it. But don't do it again."
"Sorry. We just didn't want you to have to stay here alone is all."
"It's okay. How was your shoot today?"
"Surprisingly productive. I've got to drop all the film off to be developed tomorrow. How about you guys?"
"Thursday afternoon, Art I, freshman who think it's any easy A and desperate seniors needing one more elective to graduate. Both unproductive and unexciting." Jason told him.
"Well, mine was also unproductive." Cass gestured at the pile of papers, however it did have it's exciting moments." She grinned.
"Yeah I heard you called Carlton." Mark said.
"You heard huh?" She looked at Jason. "Well, yes I did talk to him. And that actually went quite well. Probably because I did most of the talking. I told him I was staying in New York and I was gong to keep working, but I set some ground rules."
"And he's okay with all that?"
"Honestly I don't give a damn if he's okay with that or not, and I told him so."
"Well I guess that qualifies as excitement." Mark said.
"Oh that's not the exciting part." She told them. "The exciting part was when I went shopping." She smiled.
"Yeah Roger said you wanted to go shopping but he said you never went anywhere. That he would take you shopping tomorrow."
Cass laughed as she shook her head and rolled her eyes. "Roger's so cute in a 1980's sort of way!" Mark and Jason just looked at each other. "Sweetie it's the internet age. I went shopping from the couch."
"Oh." Mark told her as he opened a soda from the fridge. "Our couch huh?"
"Yep. Probably the most excitement that couch has ever seen! At least that kind of excitement! I mean how often does anybody spend six thousand dollars in an hour on your couch?" She laughed.
"Six thousand dollars!" Mark choked on his soda.
"In an hour?" Jason asked wide-eyed. "What the hell did you buy?"
"Well, some work stuff. I needed some more computer equipment, plus a desk." Cass wished she hadn't told them how much money she had spent.
"You spent six thousand dollars in an hour? On computer stuff? Wow." Mark had to sit down n the barstool.
"Well no, not all on computer stuff. I got some stuff for the apartment too. Like a new AC, plus a coffeemaker, a microwave and some other stuff." Cass said in an embarrassed voice. "And I got some clothes too." She looked at the ground.
"Wow all that, over the internet, and for only six thousand dollars. I'm definitely in the wrong business." Jason shook his head.
"No." Cass said quietly. "The six thousand didn't include the clothes. That was another twenty five hundred."
"Eighty-five hundred dollars? In one day. Eighty-five hundred dollars." Mark was getting pale and just kept repeating that.
"Mark it's no big deal. It's all a business expense. Don't get mad. I'm sorry."
"I'm not mad Cass. Blown away, but not mad. Are you sure you want to do all this? Take money from them?"
"Yes. It was stuff I needed, for work. And for living you know. Think of it as relocation expenses. Okay? If I worked for anybody else, I would get relocation money. This is business, that's all. I don't want their money. But I'll take what I'm owed. And this is business. As far as I'm concerned, that's all that's left, business. Nothing personal between any of us, just business."
"Okay Cass, if you're sure." Mark told her. He could tell she was upset, but keeping it all under control.
"Can I ask a question?" Jason said. "I mean, I don't mean to be nosey, like I said I usually leave that to Jen, but it's about something your father said the other day."
Cass nodded at him.
"Well that day he was here, he was saying to tell you to use your credit cards for whatever you need. He also said to tell you to use your fun, not give it away again this year. What did he mean? What's a fun?"
Cass laughed a little realizing Carlton did have a slight accent when he spoke. "He didn't say fun, he said fund. My trust fund."
"Oh, of course. I should have known that." Jason said, shaking his head.
"It's from my mom and my grandparents. When I turned twenty-one I got access to it, but I've never needed it. I made more than enough money working. So every year I gave the interest and a good chunk of that year's allotment to charity."
"Look Cass, I know we were joking about you paying for dinner last night and all, but I don't want you to think we, me and Roger, want you to stay here to keep us from starving or anything. I mean we want you to stay, but not because of that. You know?"
"I know Marky. It's okay. Look, I've got it, will you let me use it. Besides I told you I usually give a chunk of it to charity. Jason have you ever seen a place more in need of a little charity than this place?" She smiled at him. "Okay Marky? Just let me do this. Please?"
"Whatever you want Cass. Whatever you want."