A/N Thanks to everyone that's been reviewing. As I've said before, it
means a lot to me and your support keeps me going. The baby is starting to
entertain himself more now, so I'm getting longer segments of time to
actually "do" things. Unfortunately, I have more than just typing to do
right now, but by the time the holidays are over, I should be able to spend
more time typing and be able to update faster.
Note to Kim - Roger was at the phone store with Cass when she bought the phones. That is why he knows what he is doing with the phone. Plus, I try to make him out to be a 'somewhat smart Roger', as opposed to the over used 'cute but dumb Roger'. Thanks for wondering though.
Chapter 25
Roger rolled over and started to wake up. He hated dreaming. Weird dreams. Strange dreams. Stuff about things he wanted to forget, but couldn't. And dreams he wanted to remember, but were gone by morning. Like this morning. Like so many mornings. When he woke up, alone, in his room, in his bed. Alone. Again. Still.
In his groggy state this morning was no different from so many others. But what he had been dreaming was different. He wasn't alone. And it had been so nice, so warm, so real. He could still feel her. Still smell her in his mind. But it was different. A different Mimi smell. A different Mimi feel. A different Mimi dream. A different Mimi.
His brain slowly started to come into focus. That was it, a different Mimi in the dream. The dream that seemed so real. The dream that wasn't Mimi. The dream that wasn't really a dream. Was it? It wasn't Mimi. Mimi was gone.
Yet Roger could still smell the sweet girlie shampoo smell on the pillow. He could still feel her touch. It was so real. It was real. Really real. But not Mimi.
He opened his eyes all the way. No it hadn't been Mimi, but it also hadn't been a dream this time. It had been real. It had been Cass. It had been Cass next to him last night. Roger knew that now.
If she was still here now, he may not have believed it. He may have thought it was still a dream. A dream he'd never want to wake from. Just stay here in his bed holding her forever. But she wasn't here now. But he knew she had been. He knew it was real. He knew he'd do anything to have that again. To feel like he did last night, again.
He walked out of his bedroom into the living room just as his and Mark's watches beeped. Mark was sitting on the couch, still in last night's clothes. Jen was sitting behind him on the back of the couch rubbing his neck. Cass was sitting in the chair next to them reading the paper and drinking coffee. "Hey. You want some coffee?" She asked sweetly.
"I got it. Thanks." He said to her. "Hey Jen. Jeez Mark, you look like crap." Roger told him as he poured himself a cup of coffee and took his pills.
"So sweet of you to notice. Ow, Jen not so hard!"
"Sorry." Jen shifted her weight and kept rubbing Mark's neck.
"What the hell happened to you?" Roger asked as he sat down on the floor and started eating the piece of toast on the plate on the milk crate.
"Hey that was my breakfast! Ouch! Jen's couch that's what happened to me. I fell asleep on it and for being relatively new and in really good condition compared to this one, ours is much more comfortable to sleep on."
"That's scary considering what this thing is like to sleep on." Roger told them as he finished Mark's toast.
"How did you end up sleeping on Jen's couch Mark?" Cass asked him.
"We started watching some old movie and I feel asleep."
"So did I," Jen said, "But I got up and went to bed later. I was gonna wake you up, but you looked comfy."
"Next time wake me up. Please. Move to your right a little." He told her as he shifted his shoulder a little.
"That reminds me," Cass said. "Mark you need to unhook your illegal cable from here and Jen's place."
"Why? What's wrong with illegal cable?" Roger teased her.
"Other than it's illegal?" Jen stated with a slight smirk.
"Well, yes actually. And if Mark ever does get arrested for something, don't you think the 350 pound mass murder he's sharing a cell with would have more respect for him if he said he was in for something more impressive than just stealing cable?" She grinned.
"Thanks for the concern Cass."
"No seriously. I called the cable company. They are coming Wednesday to hook up the apartment and my computer. I need a cable modem so I can get some actual work done and not have to plug into the phone all the time. I just think it might be better if we are not illegally hooked up when they get here."
"Yeah, I see what you mean." Mark said as he got up to make himself more toast. "So you order cable huh? What, um, exactly did you order Cass?"
"He means did you order the porn channel?" Roger snickered.
"Well, um, no." He tried to act annoyed but he could feel his face getting red.
"No Mark I didn't get you a porn channel."
"Okay, I was just wondering."
"I did get the Independent Film channel for you though."
"Really?" He perked up. "Cool. Even better."
"How is that better than a porn channel?" Roger joked.
They all rolled their eyes at him. "You're such a pig Roger." Jen told him. "What are you guys doing today?"
"We need to do laundry. Other than that, this could be it." Roger said as he got up off the floor and flopped into Mark's seat on the couch.
"I just did laundry how do we need to go already?"
"There's three of us wearing our clothes instead of two. Remember? Plus it's still really hot out."
"Oh yeah. Well we don't have any quarters. Can we make it till Monday? I hate doing laundry on the weekends. It's so busy."
"I can do the laundry. I don't mind." Cass said "I may not be able to cook, but I can do laundry."
"Are you sure Cass?" Mark teased.
"Yes smartass, I know how to do laundry. Just separate it out. Whites, darks and dry cleaning. How hard is that?"
"What these two have to dry clean would be interesting to see." Jen laughed.
"Where is your washer and dryer anyway?" Cass turned and looked around towards the kitchen. "And what do you need quarters for?"
Roger, Mark and Jen started laughing. "Um, Cass," Roger started to explain, "we don't have a washer and dryer. You have to go to the laundromat. And the quarters are to pay for the laundry."
"Ha, like he would know!" Mark scoffed at him. "Roger hasn't set foot in a laundromat in years. I think Roger thinks the laundry fairy waves a wand at night and produces clean clothes for him or something."
"Well, um, I can do that. I guess. As long as somebody goes with me." Cass paused. "I, uh, don't know were it is."
Roger could hear the hesitation in her voice. He knew she didn't want to leave really. Especially on her own. He could tell. He hoped she knew they'd never make her go out on her own if she didn't want.
"I'll go with you." Roger said as he stuck out his tongue at Mark and mouthed the word 'jackass' at him. "But if we can wait till Monday it will be easier."
"Okay. Whatever." Cass shrugged. "But what's the big deal? I mean don't we just drop it off? How long does it take to get back anyway?"
This produced another round of laughter from Roger, Mark and Jen. Especially Mark and Jen. "Oh girlfriend!" Jen giggled. "Have you got a lot to learn."
"I see." Cass said as she started to pick at the tape on her left hand.
"How's your hand?" Mark asked.
"Let me see it." Roger reached for her hand and started to unwrap the gauze.
"It kinda hurts. And I haven't figured out what I'm going to do about my hair again. Even if I leave the gauze on, I think it's still going to hurt when I wash my hair."
"I'll wash if for you again. Come downstairs later."
"Thanks Jen. I'll see you later then. I'm gonna go take a shower." She got up form the chair and picked up her coffee cup to take to the sink.
"No problem. Well, I'm going home." She got up to go and walked over to the bar to get her keys. "Hey you guys got two messages on the machine."
"Must be from last night." Roger said as he got up and walked over to it. "I never checked it. Bet it's you mom Mark. She'd try to call you on a Friday night." Roger hit the button on the answering machine. It rewound the tape and made a beep as a woman's voice began yelling and screaming into the answering machine in French.
Roger had no idea what the woman was saying, but he could tell she was pissed. Really, really pissed. He heard her say Cass' name a couple of times followed by stuff he figured were either curse words or very, very not so nice stuff. His eyes went to Cass who had been standing in front of the sink and had flipped around towards the machine when the voice started yelling out of it.
Cass had gone pale. She just stood there listening to the machine. Her mouth hanging open in shock. The coffee cup still held between the only two fingers on her right hand not enclosed in the gray cast.
Everyone was watching her to see what she would do as the screaming message ended. In a hoarse whisper she looked at them. "That was Gigi. Andre's wife." She paused for a second. "Gigi's his mother. She's not very happy with me."
Just then the machine beeped again as it started to play the second message. "Cassiopeia, you little bitch you! Look at all the trouble you've caused!" Then the heavily accented voice continued in French. Mark realized the guy wasn't really yelling into the machine, but speaking loudly, as if he wanted everyone to be sure to hear the message when it was played. Mark didn't know what he was saying. The words were spoken slowly and distinctly. He got the feeling whatever he was saying, it was precise, planned and extremely cruel.
Mark looked at Cass, who had gone even paler. Even from as far away as the couch where he stood, Mark could see her start to shake in the kitchen. She had backed up against the sink as the voice started speaking. The coffee cup she has been holding went crashing to the ground after the first few words.
Roger was around to the other side of the counter next to Cass in the split second it had taken for the look of terror to cross her face. Roger grabbed her and hugged her close. "Turn it off!"
Jen slammed her hand down on the machine hitting buttons till the voice stopped. The sudden silence was only broken by Roger's whispering into Cass' ear, trying to calm her down and stop her from shaking.
Mark and Jen just stood there, unsure what to do next. Roger started to walk her out of the kitchen, still whispering in her ear. "It's okay Cass. He can't hurt you again. I'll never let him hurt you again. I promise." Cass kept moving her lips like she was going to say something, but nothing came out.
Roger walked her into his room and sat her on the edge of the bed. Jen and Mark followed them into the room. Roger sat down next to her and with his arm still around her, pulled her face into his chest as he softly stroked her hair.
Jen kneeled on the floor at Cass' feet. She could hear the sobs starting to come and see she was still shaking. "Cass." Jen said softly, lightly touching her knee. "Do you want anything? Can I do anything?" Cass didn't answer or ever acknowledge Jen's question. "How about something to drink? You want some tea maybe?"
"I'll go make her some." Mark said backing out of the room. God how he didn't want to be in that room right now. He couldn't take seeing her like this again. Mark hated that bastard who did this to her. Not only did it, but apparently called to sort of rub her face in it. Damn it!
Mark slammed the spoon down onto the counter after her wrung out the teabag. How could he fucking do that? All that? To her? To Cass? To sweet, wonderful, kind, beautifully, Cass? His Cass? And how could that bitch call here and say all that to her? At her? How could she say that? How could she say, say, what did she say?
Mark was slamming the spoon against the sides of the coffee cup. He didn't hear it hitting. He didn't even realize he was doing it until the hand came down on his and stopped the spoon.
"Mark." Jen said softly. "Mark stop." Jen took the spoon out of his hand. "Here, give me the tea Mark." Jen took it from his hands. She picked up Cass' cigarettes from the arm of the chair and went back into Roger's room.
After what seemed like an eternity, but was probably only a minute, Jen stepped back out of Roger's room and close the door behind her. Mark was still ghostly pale, and standing in the exact same spot. He hadn't as much as twitched a muscle since Jen took the cup from him. "Mark are you okay?"
He shook his head. "I can't go back in there. Not right now. I can't do it Jen."
Jen hugged him and could feel him shaking. "It's okay Mark. They understand. Besides, I don't want to be in there either. I don't want to hear what she's going to say right now."
"What's she saying?" Mark asked, still hugging Jen.
"You don't want to know Mark. You don't want to know."
*******
Roger and Cass were lying on the bed. She was still holding onto him tightly and he never let go of her the whole time they laid there and talked. He just held her and stroked her hair.
"All I did was open the door Roger, that's all I did." She sobbed.
"I know Cass. I know."
"I was going to go to Giavanna's. We were going to hang out. We just got some new wine to try. We were going to sit around, do nothing and get drunk on good wine."
"Uh huh."
"We had been working so hard the last couple of weeks. Really late. We just wanted to hang out. We met our deadline. We were going to send it all in the next day. That's all we wanted to do was just hang out." She took another sob-racked breath.
"I was supposed to already be there. I was late. I was always late to Gia's. I'd get caught up checking on stuff and would lose track of time. If I would have left that stuff alone, I would have already been gone. I should have just left it alone, but I started going through it again." She started crying again.
"I never should have started looking at that stuff. If I would have left it alone I wouldn't even have been there."
"Shhh Cass. It's not your fault. It wouldn't have mattered." He kept running his fingers up and down her back. "It wouldn't have made a difference Cass. It's not your fault. It's not your fault Cass."
After a moment she started talking again. "He showed up about four days before. I was actually happy to see him at first. We were so busy. We had a deadline to meet. I gave him a stack of papers and a computer. I thought he had come to help. I needed him to go through all that stuff thin it out. I was actually glad to see him." The last sentence broken up by sobs as she spoke.
"Shhhh Cass. I know. I know. It's okay. Its gonna be okay."
"After like two days I knew he was pretty much useless. He was too fried. Too wired. Just too freaked out. Between the coke and the ecstasy and god knows what else, he was completely wired." She stopped for a moment to try and collect herself.
Roger kept running his fingers up and down her back, just stopping every now and then to stroke her hair. He kept listening to her. Listening to what she said. And what she didn't say. Out loud at least.
He hated that bastard. On principle alone he would love to rip him apart. But the fact that he did this to Cass made it worse. Roger realized he hated him. He hated him more this moment than anything or anyone ever. More than he hated Benny. More than he hated what Benny did to Mimi and what Benny put her through. More than he hated what Benny did to Mimi and what that made Roger put Mimi through. More than he hated his father. More than he hated his father's words and actions and fists. More than he hated whoever first got April hooked on smack. More than he hated what that act did to so many people's lives. To April, and his and Mimi's and Mark's.
Even more than the greatest hatred he had ever felt for himself over all the so many years. Back to the days when he couldn't protect his mother form his father. The days he hurt her with all the drugs and lies. The hell he put Mimi through. The hell he's put Mark through for so long. Not to mention everyone else. And the self-loathing and self-pity that only added to the self-hatred.
He hated him with every ounce of his being. He hated him with as much intensity and fire as he had ever felt in his life. He never thought he'd find another emotion that equaled, let alone surpassed the passion and fervor and love he had had for Mimi. But he did. And it was a true hatred for Anton. One that grew with each passing day he spent with Cass. With each word she spoke and each tear she cried.
Yes, Roger had a true hatred for Anton, one that was, he slowly realized driven by how much he actually cared for Cass. By how much Roger cared for Cass. By how much he wanted to take care of her. By how much he wanted to protect her. By how much he wanted to make it all better for her. By how much, he realized, he had started to love her.
"He was useless." She started again. "I tried to get him to go home at first. To get him out of the way. I just didn't have time to deal with his crap. I had too much to do. If he wasn't going to help me, and he wasn't going to leave, then he just needed to not make things more difficult. Not mess up anything we had managed to finish up. That was all I cared about."
She shook her head back and forth. As she moved Roger could feel the dampness on his tee shirt from her tears. "He was so wired. He was creeping everyone out. Gia, the girls working for us, me. I didn't do anything about it either. I just kept working. I ignored him the best I could. We had to get everything done for our deadline. I didn't make him go home. I should have made him go home."
"Cass it's not your fault. You didn't do anything. Will you please, please believe me? You didn't do anything."
"Instead of going to Gia's like I should have, I started double checking everything. I didn't even know how late it was. Not until I heard the door. That's when I looked at the clock, when I heard the door. I figured it was Gia, coming to yell at me for not showing up. Not bring over the wine.
"She did that sometimes. When I would get caught up in work, she'd call me or come over and drag me off the computer or out of the papers. Sometimes she would do that. It wasn't her though." Roger felt her shift and he loosened his grip on her. She rolled onto her back. Roger kept his left arm around her waist as he propped himself up on his elbow.
"He was standing there when I opened the door. He was messed up. He was hurting real bad. He was real jumpy and agitated. And sweating real bad.
"He kind of pushed past me as he walked into my place. I had this cute little two-room place with this great balcony. It was over this little jewelry shop. This really nice old couple owned the whole place. She used to bring my pasta and muffins. It was late, so they had gone home for the day."
She stopped and took another deep breath, trying to force down the last of the heaving sobs. "He just sort of walked in when I opened the door. He wanted to know if I had anything. He was pretty desperate. I told him I didn't. I told him I was clean for a real long time and that he knew that. He knew I never had anything anymore. And anything I ever had before came from either him or Paulie. He didn't believe me. He just didn't believe me."
"It's okay Cass. You don't have to tell me if you don't want to you know."
"I kept telling him I was clean and I didn't have anything. I told him I would take care of him. Hook him up if he wanted. That I'd go get him something right then. He didn't believe that either. He told me I was being a selfish, little bitch. That I just didn't want to share. After everything he's done for me all these years."
She had stopped crying at this point. Roger figured she probably was out of tears. He couldn't really hear any emotion in her voice anymore. More like an even numbness.
"That's when he lost it. I tried to get him to leave but he wouldn't go. That's when I pushed him. I pushed him towards the door. He didn't like that. That's when he backhanded me. That I think he did like, because he smiled and did it again."
Her hand reached up and rubbed along the base of her neck. Roger realized he had seen her do that before. Actually he had seen her do it a number of times since she got here. He wasn't even sure she ever realized she did it.
"I punched him in the stomach then. Hard. Real hard. But he was so messed up. I don't think he even really felt it. But it pissed him off. He grabbed me by my shirt and sort of picked me up. Then he threw me into the wall. I think that's when my necklace broke, when he grabbed me by my shirt."
She rubbed the base of her neck again as she spoke. "It was my mom's cross you know. She almost always wore it. I don't know why she didn't take it with her that trip, but she didn't. It was there at home in her jewelry box. I found it. Afterwards."
She shook her head again. "Anyway, it's gone now I guess. After that it gets a little fuzzy. I remember getting up and trying to push him away. And his hand on my face shoving my head into the wall. Or maybe it was the mirror. I don't know. It's just kind of pieces and parts after that."
"I know Cass. I know."
******
"God Jen, can this whole thing possibly get any worse?" Mark asked her as he continued hugging her.
"I hope not Mark. For her sake, and yours, I hope not."
"Thanks Jenny." Mark gave her a final squeeze and let go of her. "I wish I knew what happened last night with Elizabeth. And actually with Roger. Did you notice they slept in his room?"
"Actually, I noticed how surprised you were to see her coming out of his room more than anything. You okay with that?"
"Me?" Mark leaned back against the sink. "Yeah actually I am. I was just surprised. I mean I'm sure they didn't do anything. I mean, you know Roger. And well, while that," he pointed at the room next to his, "was Mimi's room, the only thing that ever sleep in there was her stuff."
"Yeah I get it. Well, good for Roger. Mimi would have been really upset to see him al these months. He really is doing better all of a sudden."
"Real all of a sudden. Like since the day someone showed up here." Mark had the tiniest of grins as he shook his head. "I really wish I knew what Elizabeth told her last night."
"Probably nothing." Jen saw the look of confusion on his face and decided to explain. "I mean it's her job to listen more than talk Mark. And you do realize getting her there last night was only the first step, not the cure all. This could be a long road to travel. Especially considering all the help she seems to be getting from her dear family."
"I didn't really think about it that way, but I guess you're right. I wonder what Gigi said to her?"
"I don't know, and I'm not about to ask. Even super nosey me knows where to draw the line." She smiled at him.
"And what he said. She didn't hear the whole message from Anton. What if her said he was on his way here or something? What if he said something like that after you turned it off?" That panic edge had crept back into Mark's voice.
"I didn't think of that." Jen said as she started picking up the broken pieces of the coffee mug Cass had dropped when she heard Anton's voice on the machine. "That would be something that would be helpful to know a head of time."
"Right." Mark nodded in agreement. "Well I can't handle gong in there and listening to what happened to her. And standing here waiting for Roger to come out and tell me what's going on is not only unappealing, but will probably make me even more nuts." He grabbed his phone before he quickly wrote a note and left it on the counter for Roger. "So let's go find out what's going on here." He popped the tape out of the answering machine. "Maybe it will help."
"Where are we going?" Jen asked picking her keys back up.
"To get this translated."
"But who do we know that can speak French? Especially well enough to translate that?" Jen was almost running down the hall trying to keep up with Mark.
"We've got two options." Mark told her. "The first is Joanne. I'm really hoping she's around and can do this, because I'd rather not have to use option number two. That could get really, really messy."
"Why? Who's option number two?"
Mark paused and looked around first as if he was checking to see if anyone else was around to hear him. "Option two," He told her as he started to dial Maureen and Joanne's apartment, "is Alison."
"Alison? Alison who?" Jen asked jogging along to keep up. Mark had never moved this fast before.
"Coffin. As in Muffy, Benny's wife."
"Oh, you're right, that could get messy."
Note to Kim - Roger was at the phone store with Cass when she bought the phones. That is why he knows what he is doing with the phone. Plus, I try to make him out to be a 'somewhat smart Roger', as opposed to the over used 'cute but dumb Roger'. Thanks for wondering though.
Chapter 25
Roger rolled over and started to wake up. He hated dreaming. Weird dreams. Strange dreams. Stuff about things he wanted to forget, but couldn't. And dreams he wanted to remember, but were gone by morning. Like this morning. Like so many mornings. When he woke up, alone, in his room, in his bed. Alone. Again. Still.
In his groggy state this morning was no different from so many others. But what he had been dreaming was different. He wasn't alone. And it had been so nice, so warm, so real. He could still feel her. Still smell her in his mind. But it was different. A different Mimi smell. A different Mimi feel. A different Mimi dream. A different Mimi.
His brain slowly started to come into focus. That was it, a different Mimi in the dream. The dream that seemed so real. The dream that wasn't Mimi. The dream that wasn't really a dream. Was it? It wasn't Mimi. Mimi was gone.
Yet Roger could still smell the sweet girlie shampoo smell on the pillow. He could still feel her touch. It was so real. It was real. Really real. But not Mimi.
He opened his eyes all the way. No it hadn't been Mimi, but it also hadn't been a dream this time. It had been real. It had been Cass. It had been Cass next to him last night. Roger knew that now.
If she was still here now, he may not have believed it. He may have thought it was still a dream. A dream he'd never want to wake from. Just stay here in his bed holding her forever. But she wasn't here now. But he knew she had been. He knew it was real. He knew he'd do anything to have that again. To feel like he did last night, again.
He walked out of his bedroom into the living room just as his and Mark's watches beeped. Mark was sitting on the couch, still in last night's clothes. Jen was sitting behind him on the back of the couch rubbing his neck. Cass was sitting in the chair next to them reading the paper and drinking coffee. "Hey. You want some coffee?" She asked sweetly.
"I got it. Thanks." He said to her. "Hey Jen. Jeez Mark, you look like crap." Roger told him as he poured himself a cup of coffee and took his pills.
"So sweet of you to notice. Ow, Jen not so hard!"
"Sorry." Jen shifted her weight and kept rubbing Mark's neck.
"What the hell happened to you?" Roger asked as he sat down on the floor and started eating the piece of toast on the plate on the milk crate.
"Hey that was my breakfast! Ouch! Jen's couch that's what happened to me. I fell asleep on it and for being relatively new and in really good condition compared to this one, ours is much more comfortable to sleep on."
"That's scary considering what this thing is like to sleep on." Roger told them as he finished Mark's toast.
"How did you end up sleeping on Jen's couch Mark?" Cass asked him.
"We started watching some old movie and I feel asleep."
"So did I," Jen said, "But I got up and went to bed later. I was gonna wake you up, but you looked comfy."
"Next time wake me up. Please. Move to your right a little." He told her as he shifted his shoulder a little.
"That reminds me," Cass said. "Mark you need to unhook your illegal cable from here and Jen's place."
"Why? What's wrong with illegal cable?" Roger teased her.
"Other than it's illegal?" Jen stated with a slight smirk.
"Well, yes actually. And if Mark ever does get arrested for something, don't you think the 350 pound mass murder he's sharing a cell with would have more respect for him if he said he was in for something more impressive than just stealing cable?" She grinned.
"Thanks for the concern Cass."
"No seriously. I called the cable company. They are coming Wednesday to hook up the apartment and my computer. I need a cable modem so I can get some actual work done and not have to plug into the phone all the time. I just think it might be better if we are not illegally hooked up when they get here."
"Yeah, I see what you mean." Mark said as he got up to make himself more toast. "So you order cable huh? What, um, exactly did you order Cass?"
"He means did you order the porn channel?" Roger snickered.
"Well, um, no." He tried to act annoyed but he could feel his face getting red.
"No Mark I didn't get you a porn channel."
"Okay, I was just wondering."
"I did get the Independent Film channel for you though."
"Really?" He perked up. "Cool. Even better."
"How is that better than a porn channel?" Roger joked.
They all rolled their eyes at him. "You're such a pig Roger." Jen told him. "What are you guys doing today?"
"We need to do laundry. Other than that, this could be it." Roger said as he got up off the floor and flopped into Mark's seat on the couch.
"I just did laundry how do we need to go already?"
"There's three of us wearing our clothes instead of two. Remember? Plus it's still really hot out."
"Oh yeah. Well we don't have any quarters. Can we make it till Monday? I hate doing laundry on the weekends. It's so busy."
"I can do the laundry. I don't mind." Cass said "I may not be able to cook, but I can do laundry."
"Are you sure Cass?" Mark teased.
"Yes smartass, I know how to do laundry. Just separate it out. Whites, darks and dry cleaning. How hard is that?"
"What these two have to dry clean would be interesting to see." Jen laughed.
"Where is your washer and dryer anyway?" Cass turned and looked around towards the kitchen. "And what do you need quarters for?"
Roger, Mark and Jen started laughing. "Um, Cass," Roger started to explain, "we don't have a washer and dryer. You have to go to the laundromat. And the quarters are to pay for the laundry."
"Ha, like he would know!" Mark scoffed at him. "Roger hasn't set foot in a laundromat in years. I think Roger thinks the laundry fairy waves a wand at night and produces clean clothes for him or something."
"Well, um, I can do that. I guess. As long as somebody goes with me." Cass paused. "I, uh, don't know were it is."
Roger could hear the hesitation in her voice. He knew she didn't want to leave really. Especially on her own. He could tell. He hoped she knew they'd never make her go out on her own if she didn't want.
"I'll go with you." Roger said as he stuck out his tongue at Mark and mouthed the word 'jackass' at him. "But if we can wait till Monday it will be easier."
"Okay. Whatever." Cass shrugged. "But what's the big deal? I mean don't we just drop it off? How long does it take to get back anyway?"
This produced another round of laughter from Roger, Mark and Jen. Especially Mark and Jen. "Oh girlfriend!" Jen giggled. "Have you got a lot to learn."
"I see." Cass said as she started to pick at the tape on her left hand.
"How's your hand?" Mark asked.
"Let me see it." Roger reached for her hand and started to unwrap the gauze.
"It kinda hurts. And I haven't figured out what I'm going to do about my hair again. Even if I leave the gauze on, I think it's still going to hurt when I wash my hair."
"I'll wash if for you again. Come downstairs later."
"Thanks Jen. I'll see you later then. I'm gonna go take a shower." She got up form the chair and picked up her coffee cup to take to the sink.
"No problem. Well, I'm going home." She got up to go and walked over to the bar to get her keys. "Hey you guys got two messages on the machine."
"Must be from last night." Roger said as he got up and walked over to it. "I never checked it. Bet it's you mom Mark. She'd try to call you on a Friday night." Roger hit the button on the answering machine. It rewound the tape and made a beep as a woman's voice began yelling and screaming into the answering machine in French.
Roger had no idea what the woman was saying, but he could tell she was pissed. Really, really pissed. He heard her say Cass' name a couple of times followed by stuff he figured were either curse words or very, very not so nice stuff. His eyes went to Cass who had been standing in front of the sink and had flipped around towards the machine when the voice started yelling out of it.
Cass had gone pale. She just stood there listening to the machine. Her mouth hanging open in shock. The coffee cup still held between the only two fingers on her right hand not enclosed in the gray cast.
Everyone was watching her to see what she would do as the screaming message ended. In a hoarse whisper she looked at them. "That was Gigi. Andre's wife." She paused for a second. "Gigi's his mother. She's not very happy with me."
Just then the machine beeped again as it started to play the second message. "Cassiopeia, you little bitch you! Look at all the trouble you've caused!" Then the heavily accented voice continued in French. Mark realized the guy wasn't really yelling into the machine, but speaking loudly, as if he wanted everyone to be sure to hear the message when it was played. Mark didn't know what he was saying. The words were spoken slowly and distinctly. He got the feeling whatever he was saying, it was precise, planned and extremely cruel.
Mark looked at Cass, who had gone even paler. Even from as far away as the couch where he stood, Mark could see her start to shake in the kitchen. She had backed up against the sink as the voice started speaking. The coffee cup she has been holding went crashing to the ground after the first few words.
Roger was around to the other side of the counter next to Cass in the split second it had taken for the look of terror to cross her face. Roger grabbed her and hugged her close. "Turn it off!"
Jen slammed her hand down on the machine hitting buttons till the voice stopped. The sudden silence was only broken by Roger's whispering into Cass' ear, trying to calm her down and stop her from shaking.
Mark and Jen just stood there, unsure what to do next. Roger started to walk her out of the kitchen, still whispering in her ear. "It's okay Cass. He can't hurt you again. I'll never let him hurt you again. I promise." Cass kept moving her lips like she was going to say something, but nothing came out.
Roger walked her into his room and sat her on the edge of the bed. Jen and Mark followed them into the room. Roger sat down next to her and with his arm still around her, pulled her face into his chest as he softly stroked her hair.
Jen kneeled on the floor at Cass' feet. She could hear the sobs starting to come and see she was still shaking. "Cass." Jen said softly, lightly touching her knee. "Do you want anything? Can I do anything?" Cass didn't answer or ever acknowledge Jen's question. "How about something to drink? You want some tea maybe?"
"I'll go make her some." Mark said backing out of the room. God how he didn't want to be in that room right now. He couldn't take seeing her like this again. Mark hated that bastard who did this to her. Not only did it, but apparently called to sort of rub her face in it. Damn it!
Mark slammed the spoon down onto the counter after her wrung out the teabag. How could he fucking do that? All that? To her? To Cass? To sweet, wonderful, kind, beautifully, Cass? His Cass? And how could that bitch call here and say all that to her? At her? How could she say that? How could she say, say, what did she say?
Mark was slamming the spoon against the sides of the coffee cup. He didn't hear it hitting. He didn't even realize he was doing it until the hand came down on his and stopped the spoon.
"Mark." Jen said softly. "Mark stop." Jen took the spoon out of his hand. "Here, give me the tea Mark." Jen took it from his hands. She picked up Cass' cigarettes from the arm of the chair and went back into Roger's room.
After what seemed like an eternity, but was probably only a minute, Jen stepped back out of Roger's room and close the door behind her. Mark was still ghostly pale, and standing in the exact same spot. He hadn't as much as twitched a muscle since Jen took the cup from him. "Mark are you okay?"
He shook his head. "I can't go back in there. Not right now. I can't do it Jen."
Jen hugged him and could feel him shaking. "It's okay Mark. They understand. Besides, I don't want to be in there either. I don't want to hear what she's going to say right now."
"What's she saying?" Mark asked, still hugging Jen.
"You don't want to know Mark. You don't want to know."
*******
Roger and Cass were lying on the bed. She was still holding onto him tightly and he never let go of her the whole time they laid there and talked. He just held her and stroked her hair.
"All I did was open the door Roger, that's all I did." She sobbed.
"I know Cass. I know."
"I was going to go to Giavanna's. We were going to hang out. We just got some new wine to try. We were going to sit around, do nothing and get drunk on good wine."
"Uh huh."
"We had been working so hard the last couple of weeks. Really late. We just wanted to hang out. We met our deadline. We were going to send it all in the next day. That's all we wanted to do was just hang out." She took another sob-racked breath.
"I was supposed to already be there. I was late. I was always late to Gia's. I'd get caught up checking on stuff and would lose track of time. If I would have left that stuff alone, I would have already been gone. I should have just left it alone, but I started going through it again." She started crying again.
"I never should have started looking at that stuff. If I would have left it alone I wouldn't even have been there."
"Shhh Cass. It's not your fault. It wouldn't have mattered." He kept running his fingers up and down her back. "It wouldn't have made a difference Cass. It's not your fault. It's not your fault Cass."
After a moment she started talking again. "He showed up about four days before. I was actually happy to see him at first. We were so busy. We had a deadline to meet. I gave him a stack of papers and a computer. I thought he had come to help. I needed him to go through all that stuff thin it out. I was actually glad to see him." The last sentence broken up by sobs as she spoke.
"Shhhh Cass. I know. I know. It's okay. Its gonna be okay."
"After like two days I knew he was pretty much useless. He was too fried. Too wired. Just too freaked out. Between the coke and the ecstasy and god knows what else, he was completely wired." She stopped for a moment to try and collect herself.
Roger kept running his fingers up and down her back, just stopping every now and then to stroke her hair. He kept listening to her. Listening to what she said. And what she didn't say. Out loud at least.
He hated that bastard. On principle alone he would love to rip him apart. But the fact that he did this to Cass made it worse. Roger realized he hated him. He hated him more this moment than anything or anyone ever. More than he hated Benny. More than he hated what Benny did to Mimi and what Benny put her through. More than he hated what Benny did to Mimi and what that made Roger put Mimi through. More than he hated his father. More than he hated his father's words and actions and fists. More than he hated whoever first got April hooked on smack. More than he hated what that act did to so many people's lives. To April, and his and Mimi's and Mark's.
Even more than the greatest hatred he had ever felt for himself over all the so many years. Back to the days when he couldn't protect his mother form his father. The days he hurt her with all the drugs and lies. The hell he put Mimi through. The hell he's put Mark through for so long. Not to mention everyone else. And the self-loathing and self-pity that only added to the self-hatred.
He hated him with every ounce of his being. He hated him with as much intensity and fire as he had ever felt in his life. He never thought he'd find another emotion that equaled, let alone surpassed the passion and fervor and love he had had for Mimi. But he did. And it was a true hatred for Anton. One that grew with each passing day he spent with Cass. With each word she spoke and each tear she cried.
Yes, Roger had a true hatred for Anton, one that was, he slowly realized driven by how much he actually cared for Cass. By how much Roger cared for Cass. By how much he wanted to take care of her. By how much he wanted to protect her. By how much he wanted to make it all better for her. By how much, he realized, he had started to love her.
"He was useless." She started again. "I tried to get him to go home at first. To get him out of the way. I just didn't have time to deal with his crap. I had too much to do. If he wasn't going to help me, and he wasn't going to leave, then he just needed to not make things more difficult. Not mess up anything we had managed to finish up. That was all I cared about."
She shook her head back and forth. As she moved Roger could feel the dampness on his tee shirt from her tears. "He was so wired. He was creeping everyone out. Gia, the girls working for us, me. I didn't do anything about it either. I just kept working. I ignored him the best I could. We had to get everything done for our deadline. I didn't make him go home. I should have made him go home."
"Cass it's not your fault. You didn't do anything. Will you please, please believe me? You didn't do anything."
"Instead of going to Gia's like I should have, I started double checking everything. I didn't even know how late it was. Not until I heard the door. That's when I looked at the clock, when I heard the door. I figured it was Gia, coming to yell at me for not showing up. Not bring over the wine.
"She did that sometimes. When I would get caught up in work, she'd call me or come over and drag me off the computer or out of the papers. Sometimes she would do that. It wasn't her though." Roger felt her shift and he loosened his grip on her. She rolled onto her back. Roger kept his left arm around her waist as he propped himself up on his elbow.
"He was standing there when I opened the door. He was messed up. He was hurting real bad. He was real jumpy and agitated. And sweating real bad.
"He kind of pushed past me as he walked into my place. I had this cute little two-room place with this great balcony. It was over this little jewelry shop. This really nice old couple owned the whole place. She used to bring my pasta and muffins. It was late, so they had gone home for the day."
She stopped and took another deep breath, trying to force down the last of the heaving sobs. "He just sort of walked in when I opened the door. He wanted to know if I had anything. He was pretty desperate. I told him I didn't. I told him I was clean for a real long time and that he knew that. He knew I never had anything anymore. And anything I ever had before came from either him or Paulie. He didn't believe me. He just didn't believe me."
"It's okay Cass. You don't have to tell me if you don't want to you know."
"I kept telling him I was clean and I didn't have anything. I told him I would take care of him. Hook him up if he wanted. That I'd go get him something right then. He didn't believe that either. He told me I was being a selfish, little bitch. That I just didn't want to share. After everything he's done for me all these years."
She had stopped crying at this point. Roger figured she probably was out of tears. He couldn't really hear any emotion in her voice anymore. More like an even numbness.
"That's when he lost it. I tried to get him to leave but he wouldn't go. That's when I pushed him. I pushed him towards the door. He didn't like that. That's when he backhanded me. That I think he did like, because he smiled and did it again."
Her hand reached up and rubbed along the base of her neck. Roger realized he had seen her do that before. Actually he had seen her do it a number of times since she got here. He wasn't even sure she ever realized she did it.
"I punched him in the stomach then. Hard. Real hard. But he was so messed up. I don't think he even really felt it. But it pissed him off. He grabbed me by my shirt and sort of picked me up. Then he threw me into the wall. I think that's when my necklace broke, when he grabbed me by my shirt."
She rubbed the base of her neck again as she spoke. "It was my mom's cross you know. She almost always wore it. I don't know why she didn't take it with her that trip, but she didn't. It was there at home in her jewelry box. I found it. Afterwards."
She shook her head again. "Anyway, it's gone now I guess. After that it gets a little fuzzy. I remember getting up and trying to push him away. And his hand on my face shoving my head into the wall. Or maybe it was the mirror. I don't know. It's just kind of pieces and parts after that."
"I know Cass. I know."
******
"God Jen, can this whole thing possibly get any worse?" Mark asked her as he continued hugging her.
"I hope not Mark. For her sake, and yours, I hope not."
"Thanks Jenny." Mark gave her a final squeeze and let go of her. "I wish I knew what happened last night with Elizabeth. And actually with Roger. Did you notice they slept in his room?"
"Actually, I noticed how surprised you were to see her coming out of his room more than anything. You okay with that?"
"Me?" Mark leaned back against the sink. "Yeah actually I am. I was just surprised. I mean I'm sure they didn't do anything. I mean, you know Roger. And well, while that," he pointed at the room next to his, "was Mimi's room, the only thing that ever sleep in there was her stuff."
"Yeah I get it. Well, good for Roger. Mimi would have been really upset to see him al these months. He really is doing better all of a sudden."
"Real all of a sudden. Like since the day someone showed up here." Mark had the tiniest of grins as he shook his head. "I really wish I knew what Elizabeth told her last night."
"Probably nothing." Jen saw the look of confusion on his face and decided to explain. "I mean it's her job to listen more than talk Mark. And you do realize getting her there last night was only the first step, not the cure all. This could be a long road to travel. Especially considering all the help she seems to be getting from her dear family."
"I didn't really think about it that way, but I guess you're right. I wonder what Gigi said to her?"
"I don't know, and I'm not about to ask. Even super nosey me knows where to draw the line." She smiled at him.
"And what he said. She didn't hear the whole message from Anton. What if her said he was on his way here or something? What if he said something like that after you turned it off?" That panic edge had crept back into Mark's voice.
"I didn't think of that." Jen said as she started picking up the broken pieces of the coffee mug Cass had dropped when she heard Anton's voice on the machine. "That would be something that would be helpful to know a head of time."
"Right." Mark nodded in agreement. "Well I can't handle gong in there and listening to what happened to her. And standing here waiting for Roger to come out and tell me what's going on is not only unappealing, but will probably make me even more nuts." He grabbed his phone before he quickly wrote a note and left it on the counter for Roger. "So let's go find out what's going on here." He popped the tape out of the answering machine. "Maybe it will help."
"Where are we going?" Jen asked picking her keys back up.
"To get this translated."
"But who do we know that can speak French? Especially well enough to translate that?" Jen was almost running down the hall trying to keep up with Mark.
"We've got two options." Mark told her. "The first is Joanne. I'm really hoping she's around and can do this, because I'd rather not have to use option number two. That could get really, really messy."
"Why? Who's option number two?"
Mark paused and looked around first as if he was checking to see if anyone else was around to hear him. "Option two," He told her as he started to dial Maureen and Joanne's apartment, "is Alison."
"Alison? Alison who?" Jen asked jogging along to keep up. Mark had never moved this fast before.
"Coffin. As in Muffy, Benny's wife."
"Oh, you're right, that could get messy."